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0:30

Much so. That

0:33

you should have made the intros

0:35

a bit longer. Why let another

0:37

shot? Physicians Wasn't sure whether you

0:40

want. To throw

0:42

line, you're really stringent it

0:44

out read and a good

0:47

edwin. Day.

1:07

On the Continent. Dog. That's.

1:11

Where the seasons

1:13

never change. In

1:16

the. Winter. On.

1:18

Our blasted plane. Sits

1:21

at Clay Court. Judge fetched

1:24

of roof and wouldn't

1:26

have side. And

1:31

him that. Cottage. And.

1:33

A jew wizard

1:35

law of the

1:37

then followed of

1:39

brawl. Is.

1:42

Thoroughly. Cross with

1:44

the heroes of

1:47

you won a

1:49

wizard. Nil.

1:51

My mind for iq. Is.

1:55

lecturing our hero okay okay

1:57

let me get this straight

2:00

You've just four, you four, you

2:03

four, just four pageantry. Just

2:05

for a bit of fun that you do, you've got all

2:07

four of the ancient

2:09

weapons you bring them together, you bring

2:12

it where Celestia was imprisoned and you

2:14

release her. Am I

2:16

hearing this right? Am I

2:18

understanding this? Yeah.

2:21

Um, it wasn't

2:24

really, I mean it wasn't just my idea, it was barely

2:26

my idea at all. Oh

2:29

my god, dinner. In a lot of ways it was your idea. Which

2:32

way was it my idea? I've been sitting here

2:34

the entire time where you've been mucking around, fucking

2:36

around over in Porsopola. You freaking branged it up.

2:39

Mucking and fucking. Oh

2:41

my god, do you understand, do you understand

2:43

exactly what you've done? No.

2:46

And not understanding

2:48

is one dinner

2:50

much about human

2:53

wizard and another

2:55

human beside him.

3:00

Chariot Valerian. Played

3:09

by Simon Greiner and Demi Lardner,

3:11

respectively. Oh. Did

3:14

I get that right? So

3:17

insane. Alright, I'll take

3:20

that on. I was gonna argue

3:22

but I'm not going to anyway. These are the four

3:24

weapons that were used to imprison her in the first

3:26

place. Oh! This

3:29

wasn't explained to you? You don't get

3:31

taught this in school or anything. We

3:33

were basically there holding glorified flags. You've

3:36

got beef taken up with our dead masters. I

3:39

majored in trigonometry. Well.

3:43

Did that serve you well? Yeah,

3:45

I mean, you need to know an angle. I can

3:48

do it man. Okay, show me that angle. Any points

3:50

to just one of the boards of the roof where

3:52

it meets the wall? The roof

3:54

is at 90 degrees angle. What the fuck? No!

4:00

You might have wanted to take the young one. Very smart.

4:03

Very clever. Where did you learn?

4:06

What about that one? And

4:08

he puts the corner of the table. Also none

4:10

in here. These are all for... And

4:13

learn for learned in

4:15

the arts of trigonometry

4:17

is one minotaur barbarian,

4:20

Sunbelt Gong Bonger, played

4:23

by none other than Michael Hing. And

4:28

beside him, a duck. Not

4:31

a regular duck, a duckling. A duck

4:34

with arms. I'm really worrying that Aidan hasn't

4:36

done any preparation for this at all. Because

4:39

he's talking very long. Am

4:41

I talking long? Yeah, you're covering for

4:43

something. It's thus, dude. This

4:46

is confidence. Yeah, this is what it is. The

4:49

arms have hands and the hands,

4:52

fingers. And the

4:54

fingers have nails! Because I know

4:56

you guys met up the other day to write the

4:58

adventure, but did you spend the whole day doing... Well,

5:02

you had your dream analysis? You

5:05

spent the whole time doing Jungian. You

5:08

were trying to pronounce the first word? Yeah, Jungian? Jungian.

5:12

Jungian. Jungian dream how long? Jung?

5:15

Jung. Jung. Oh, sorry. Like Jung-gul.

5:17

Get fucked. Welcome

5:20

to the Jung-gul. Oh,

5:26

boy. But

5:29

yes, you're in the cottage of Nilmeyer and

5:31

he's mad. He's so pissed at you. If

5:36

Celestia was imprisoned so long ago, she's

5:38

out now. We don't even know what

5:40

she's going to be doing. She

5:42

could be destroying your house. No,

5:44

no, no. Your house. I

5:46

remember this. I remember this very specifically. She wasn't

5:49

going to destroy anything. She was going to unmake

5:53

everything. Okay. All right. This

5:55

is different. A

5:57

fine distinction I think you'll find. Yeah,

6:00

if you say unmake you can get past

6:02

the TikTok census! Hahahaha! Gavin

6:09

the Ice Method comes in and says,

6:11

Well I'm not gonna bloody unmake this

6:13

stroganoff! So anybody hungry? It's

6:16

already done, it'll keep though, for a few days

6:18

if you're not hungry now. Oh, bad times. Okay,

6:20

I'll be in the... Hey, hey,

6:22

you're an Ice-Em, right? Yeah,

6:25

Method, technically. Are you

6:27

entire... are you like zero to... are you

6:29

all zero to... Yes, it's cold. But I'm

6:31

not a Walmart! Can I...

6:33

but it's cold. Can I ask

6:35

a personal question? Uhhh...

6:38

I'm bracing for it? Go. You

6:40

have a penis? Gavin's

6:43

uh... uh... Neil My's kinda like...

6:47

Okay, so when you like piss urine

6:49

out of your penis, does

6:52

it freeze and make your penis bigger at the

6:54

end? Two...

6:58

Hahahaha! Is

7:00

that... two-fold answer? Yes.

7:04

Second part, you just gotta shake it off, it's not a

7:06

problem. There's a thing

7:08

we do every week, it's sort of like an ice

7:11

circumcision, we... get all the

7:13

excess off, otherwise it's awful. Drag

7:15

it all along the ground. No! Yep,

7:18

and fat melts, and then

7:20

I've pissed everywhere. Hahahaha! I

7:24

was just... okay, that's good. That's it, we can say

7:26

a better... Hurry, fella, you were gonna send us on

7:28

a quest! No,

7:30

just before we go on, I do have a question. I

7:32

know, doom and gloom, but... what

7:35

was Lexicon like? What?

7:38

What was he like? Yeah. Uhhh,

7:40

like a... old dude! Uhhh, white hair...

7:44

beard... Kind of a... prick.

7:47

Yeah. And tell me again what happened when

7:49

he was old as Shevelin, and he came up to you and is

7:51

screaming and stuff. Does this

7:54

give you some sort of crude pleasure? No!

7:57

No, he was cower! He

7:59

was cower! Was he? Oh

8:01

yeah. We're a fucking dick. No,

8:05

it's sad. Sad to see the mayor

8:07

of Prostopolis in such a bad way.

8:09

What happened between you two? What

8:12

happened? He speaks very highly of you. That's

8:14

the first. Usually he just calls

8:17

me his screenwriting teacher and sends little

8:20

sad men over. I

8:23

am six two and a bit. I

8:29

want to do a like an insight check

8:31

to measure that one. Which

8:33

one? Demi? Yeah,

8:35

get a munch about. I want to... So

8:38

is it insight? If I want to guesstimate the height,

8:40

because I don't believe six two... You

8:43

can have advantage if it has to do with angles. Yeah.

8:48

Suck a toe baby, that's what I'm talking

8:50

about. How could I do this? Okay, can

8:52

you two lean up against her? Sorry,

8:55

can you two lean up against him, making

8:57

a triangle that I would then be measuring

9:00

the height of? So that makes advantage. Okay, cool. Wait.

9:04

No waiting for the answer, Jessica. Yeah?

9:06

Go ahead. Okay, the

9:08

highest one is a fourteen plus insight

9:10

is zero. So fourteen. Well,

9:13

you'd say he's about six two. But

9:17

you can't tell exactly. Maybe

9:19

it's a little over, maybe it's a little under. Maybe

9:22

I've got all five. Maybe

9:26

he's born with it, maybe it's orthotic. Neil

9:30

Meyer turns over to the young

9:32

sad duckling, the middle aged sad

9:34

duckling in the corner. And... Polly

9:39

Waddle. I don't

9:41

think middle aged is my defining feature. He's

9:46

got a nice hat. Neil

9:49

Meyer turns over to the beautiful hat

9:51

and the wonderful duckling sitting under it

9:53

and says, I am sorry to

9:56

hear about your father. Oh

9:58

yeah, your dad died. Why

10:02

do you keep forgetting and remembering that? Thank

10:05

you very much, Mr. Neil Meyer. He

10:07

was a great man. Well, not a great... He was

10:09

a fun dad. Fun,

10:12

yes. He was

10:14

a fun dad. Not a good dad, but

10:16

a fun one. And

10:19

that's important too. And

10:23

I'll miss him very much. Well, I

10:26

have news. In fact, all

10:29

of your masters aren't actually dead.

10:32

But they... I

10:36

don't think Lex was dead at all anyway.

10:38

You didn't think he was dead, did you?

10:41

But I sort of like, you know, when a baby doesn't

10:43

say it's mum and it's like, she's gone. A

10:46

bit like that. Did you not mind if I had

10:48

object permanency? Yeah, no, no object

10:50

permanence. And then he

10:52

starts talking and he's like, oh, you're back. Oh,

10:57

good. I'm afraid Celestia will not afraid

10:59

the opposite overjoyed to say Celestia did

11:01

not kill your masters. But

11:03

they have been sent down to the very prison that she

11:05

has been kept in over the last millenniums. There

11:09

is a way. What, Gavin? What the f...

11:11

What are you... Oh, I just... Honestly, I

11:13

was just standing here with

11:15

this chafing dish, my hands melting

11:17

off, but I've gotten lost in the narrative. Everybody

11:19

takes them... Everyone takes them strong enough.

11:22

Okay, I'll serve up. Thanks. He

11:24

starts flopping the slop. I want to

11:26

roll for how good the strong enough is. I

11:29

think that would be... That's rolling for your enjoyment

11:31

or are you rolling for the quality of the

11:34

strong enough? Yeah. It probably

11:36

have to be an opposed check, right? An

11:39

opposed check. Then you have to roll for cuisine.

11:41

My cuisine... My cookies still have to be 30

11:43

minutes. I mean, the strong enough, that could be

11:45

history. You might have to have history. Whose

11:48

cuisine will reign supreme? Okay,

11:51

here comes Gavin. There's

11:55

a cooking montage. Roll them buns!

12:00

the mushrooms he's making a root he's putting

12:02

in double cream it's big oh

12:05

snake eyes no

12:08

but but sixes double sixes or

12:10

if you turn one upside down 69 oh having

12:16

unsatisfying coitus oh

12:19

one of them one of them just tricking they haven't

12:21

a good time so they can get sucked off you

12:23

know what's horrible about

12:26

this is that I've had

12:28

to now imagine you and Tom trying to 69 and

12:31

one of you is very tall and one of you

12:34

is very short and I imagine that's just exactly a

12:36

koala trying to suck off a eucalyptus yeah and then

12:38

the mouth of the eucalyptus

12:50

trees at the bottom so I got to scuttle that

12:52

yeah the ukulele trees like oh fucking

12:55

neck pain very much like

12:57

every few months a bush ranger comes around takes

12:59

you off and gives you a chlamydia shot I

13:04

thought you were super water for that

13:06

what is this fucking shot the

13:10

shoggin off is a little watery oh okay

13:12

how is it guys it's good all right

13:23

performance is

13:27

for lying so what is

13:29

that deception unless you like a watery

13:31

which nobody does

13:35

what do you say to Gavin

13:37

you will have to fight for me to

13:39

not suck you off Wow

13:53

that good I thought though

13:56

I will call off mine now okay

14:00

No! Don't you know any

14:02

damage? Oh, yeah. Thanks. Have you

14:05

got any ice blocks? Hmm?

14:08

Fucking cool off me mouth. Yes. My

14:11

turn would be... Yes. ...if

14:13

you've got the hot beef mouth. Hot

14:16

beef mouth? Hot beef mouth. Ooh. And

14:19

someone... So you're about to suck someone

14:21

off. You're the one with the hot beef mouth. We

14:23

are. Wait a second. Hey, safety first. This hot beef

14:25

mouth could burn that penis. So I'm gonna cool it

14:27

down. Ice fucking, that's what I'm saying. I'll

14:30

chuck down some ice blocks. Yeah. Now

14:32

you've got the other problem. What? Now you've

14:34

got a frostbite to dig. I'm gonna get... He's

14:36

gonna fuck you. Ladies and gentlemen... He's got an

14:38

icy penis anyway. That's what I'm fucking saying. We

14:40

are... Ladies and gentlemen... I mean, it's thought through

14:43

the mechanics of this blowjob. Sorry.

14:46

How's the show going? You enjoying yourself

14:48

first of all? Ladies

14:51

and gentlemen, we are hot beef mouth. Five,

14:53

six, seven... Okay. It's

14:55

a solid big gump situation.

15:01

Okay. Is anybody else lying?

15:03

That is not a quest. Okay.

15:06

Whenever you want it though, it's offered.

15:09

I'm not gonna force it. I'll

15:11

just put that in my back pocket. Thank you

15:13

very much. Jenna, please stop soliciting my ice

15:15

maker. I will. Okay. I

15:18

appreciate that. Um,

15:20

I'll go prepare the chamber. Yes.

15:23

You're gonna make me a suck off.

15:26

Not for my suck off though. Things have

15:29

happened in there. We've had the pretty cool

15:31

party around here. This guy. Okay,

15:33

I'll be right back. We're gonna

15:35

get dessert ready. He's fucking walking.

15:38

No. No. No.

15:41

No. No. No.

15:43

No. No. No.

15:47

We didn't know. No. That

15:49

didn't happen. I didn't suck him. That didn't happen.

15:52

You emphasized the word suck. Why didn't

15:54

you say, I didn't suck him. What,

15:56

what, what? Hey, you come into my

15:58

house. You come in here. to

16:00

my house after destroying the entire

16:02

of Rostopolis, I suspect, releasing a

16:04

creation god, and you suggest I

16:06

suck off my ice method. You

16:08

suggest I've sucked him off many

16:10

a time, don't you? And

16:12

visit, how many times do you think I've sucked his

16:15

little- I don't know, you guys, you guys live together,

16:17

I don't know! That

16:19

doesn't mean anything. There's nothing wrong with

16:21

it. I just say you have a lot of opportunities. When

16:23

you live with someone, you wake up every day,

16:25

they're there, you can suck them off, you guys

16:28

are into it. And he gets really close, and

16:30

he's 6'8", torn in, powers even over you, sunbelt,

16:32

and he says, don't you know, I know

16:35

all the opportunities I had. And

16:44

then he turns around and mocks it on the wall.

16:48

And he sighs, and he uses the little frozen

16:50

piece of extra dick that he keeps in his

16:53

pocket. Oh excuse me for a minute, my-

16:56

My eyes are melting a bit. I've just

16:58

gotta go- I've just

17:01

gotta go try that up. Gavin, prepare the chambers, prepare

17:03

the chambers. Yes, Delmar. And

17:09

he flaps off. With

17:15

his wings. Yes,

17:19

good news. Your masses

17:21

are not dead, but in

17:24

fact imprisoned. If Celestia

17:26

was released from her prison with the

17:29

four weapons, I believe that the prison

17:31

can be opened once more, and your

17:33

masses can be released, and Celestia can

17:36

be imprisoned again. How

17:39

do we defeat her? With the weapons you

17:41

talked about earlier? Yes. I

17:44

think it'd be a pretty good start, Polly. All

17:46

right. But I don't think

17:48

we can do it alone. I will lead you

17:51

to the four places. That's what the chambers for.

17:53

I'm gonna do some- I'm

17:56

gonna look through. I'm gonna do some spells. Chambers

18:00

ready! Okay I'm gonna go do

18:02

spells and we're gonna get your heroes out and then

18:05

they're gonna use the weapons and we're gonna sort this

18:07

out and you four are gonna go down as the

18:09

very best apprentices the entirety of the earth has ever

18:11

seen. How's that sound? Really

18:13

good! Okey dokey! Have fun doing spells!

18:16

Okey dokey, gonna do spells now. Oh

18:20

god! He's doing spells back

18:22

there so you just... if

18:24

I could get you anything while he's doing

18:27

spells... I'll just finish you off my stroganoff. Oh

18:29

good! How is it? It's...

18:33

I mean I would you like... I

18:36

could shake your hand! It's so

18:40

good I could shake your hand! Yeah,

18:42

okay! Like I wouldn't suck you off!

18:47

If

18:51

that's the scale we're working on... What

18:53

was your deception on that? What?

18:56

What was the deception that you rolled on

18:58

telling an ice method that you'd kiss the

19:00

tip of his penis? Eleven? I don't know.

19:02

Eleven? He doesn't buy it! Think

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bollnbranch.com. See site for

19:41

details. It's like, just say

19:43

you don't like it. I

19:45

can take criticism. Is it not good?

19:47

Oh I don't like it. It sucks. Oh.

19:51

Oh. What is it? What is it about it?

19:54

Is it too stringy? Cook time? I

19:56

would say if I was to narrow it down,

19:59

the things that... suck about it are

20:01

everything. That's

20:03

pretty broad. That's quite broad. Well, it's

20:05

not broad because a lot of it

20:08

sucks individually on... if

20:10

you break it down into its different... Do you want me to go

20:12

through and tell you how... Okay, let's

20:14

talk onions. Too thick, too thin. It's

20:18

not even that. It's that they've been over-browned. Whoa.

20:20

Whoa, whoa. What, like caramel? No.

20:22

Burnt. I was trying to be

20:24

kind. Oh, that was what that

20:26

flavor was. You see, I don't

20:29

have a lot of taste, but... I

20:33

just experienced temperature. So

20:40

I'll be honest, cooking's a lot of

20:42

guesswork for me. The

20:48

only thing you can... the only sense you

20:50

have... Yeah, I

20:52

put it in, I was like, oh, that's a bit

20:54

hot. So I put in more chili or make it

20:56

more black. Okay,

21:03

Gavin. How do you guys cook? Why

21:08

would you make a beef shroganoff there with

21:10

so many complex flavors? Why didn't you make something simple,

21:12

like a carrot or something?

21:15

A carrot? Why didn't

21:17

you make a carrot? I wanted to express

21:19

myself creatively in the kitchen. And

21:21

a carrot's just chopping. Hey, Hing,

21:24

how does Sunbelt feel about eating

21:26

beef as a minotaur? That's

21:29

a sin. He said he was

21:31

a sin. Yeah, I

21:34

guess it's... because the top half, which is

21:36

the bit that's doing the eating, that's cow.

21:40

Probably doesn't even have the teeth to chew

21:42

beef. Yeah. I think he's just like... he's

21:44

just going, what, what? What's beef? Look

21:48

at the mouthful of... It probably just doesn't taste

21:50

any different to the inside of his mouth. Yeah.

21:52

Just taste like... It tastes like a mouth. What

21:55

is this, like, flavorless cut? Is that what you

21:57

serve me? Would

22:00

you be able to eat a bloke then? Yeah,

22:03

but I wouldn't be able to shit him out, cause that would be... The

22:06

bottom half of me then would feel bad. We

22:11

should just... How's

22:14

the... Okay, I think he's a... Bell's

22:17

almost done. And

22:21

the door slams open, and you

22:23

see into this dark sort of

22:25

cavernous room with lights But they're

22:27

coming from candles. The lights coming

22:30

from candles. Be careful not to

22:32

knock over any candles. Very romantic,

22:34

Gavin. Well, it's from magic. Yes,

22:38

of all kinds. And the rose petals

22:40

are they for magic too? The witch. The

22:43

rose petals? Yes. They're

22:45

also part of the spell? They're called spell

22:47

components for those of us uninitiated

22:49

in the dark arts. What are these

22:51

oils for? Uh... Massage.

22:56

Your little eyes and... You

23:01

dip your hands in the warm oil and they just

23:03

come out and you just disappear there. I'm

23:07

very well scented. And

23:10

to the chamber you fall. Have

23:12

fun guys. Thanks Gavin. Thank you

23:14

Gavin. Thank you Gavin. Is

23:18

this a trap? It's not. Okay.

23:23

Sometimes when he's doing spells he just needs

23:26

to get in the mood. That's why it is a

23:28

candle and what not, you know? The

23:30

lighting's got to be right for magic. I'm

23:32

in a trance too. I

23:36

will say that's a bit sus, but good luck.

23:41

Don't step on the petals. We

23:44

reuse them. Alright,

23:47

so we enter the chamber. What

23:50

colour's the room? Crimson.

23:54

So it's a bit of a red room. One

23:57

of you wearing your Dom jeans? What's

24:01

that a reference to? What's it talking to?

24:03

In Fifty Shades of Grey, there is a man who

24:05

says, I can only fuck when I'm in denim. And

24:07

he puts on his jeans to

24:11

violently fuck in

24:13

the red room. Oh, is that what

24:15

it's... Yeah, yeah, yeah.

24:17

Like you're reading the news,

24:19

yeah. That's...he's right.

24:23

That didn't explain what the red room is.

24:27

I'm sure the red room... I think

24:29

he gave me a story about a man who likes to

24:31

fucking jeez. Yeah. I don't know.

24:33

Like what Michael Ying is wearing right now, huh?

24:36

I'm wearing a full Canadian tuxuit, and I've

24:39

never felt less turned black. You

24:41

are so lucky your house is blue. That's

24:44

very interesting because as you go in, you notice

24:46

that Neil Meyer is sitting, his

24:49

eyes are glowing white, and he has

24:51

changed from his cloak for the trance

24:53

and the spell he's had to don

24:55

full denim. Down to the

24:58

bottom. And

25:01

as you sit down, he opens his mouth

25:04

and his voice seems to echo round the room, and he

25:06

says, The heart of the

25:09

Iron Woods is here, where porous

25:11

people drink their beer. The acts

25:13

of sands, where you've gone with

25:15

the tune of Britlock ruins. The

25:19

blades of grass, well, don't you know, they're

25:21

in a big volcano. Fizzly

25:24

Sam, the Fire Piece, has

25:26

found a home in... As

25:32

he opens his mouth to say the Fire Pieces,

25:34

his eyes go wide and black seems to come

25:36

out and flick around and

25:38

then slam him straight in the eyes as

25:41

he chokes on his own throat, and wonderful

25:43

soliloquy. The

25:47

whites of his eyes turn black and

25:49

the centre pupil become colourful,

25:52

and he seems to crack in his bones, and

25:55

then he settles and looks at you

25:57

all and says, I'm

26:01

very sorry about the other day. I'm

26:04

awfully, dreadfully sorry. I'm

26:06

not usually like that. I am a

26:09

creator, not a destroyer. Oh, sorry, you've, um,

26:12

celestial. Don't

26:16

look scared. I'm here, I'm here, I'm here for

26:19

you. I

26:21

felt like I was, not myself, you

26:23

know, so I'm here, honestly, just to

26:26

answer questions that you might have, because

26:28

I think it's going to be a lot better,

26:31

and you see, when you're all not

26:33

existing anymore, does that make

26:35

sense? Yeah,

26:38

what's the timeline on that? Oh,

26:41

I'm thinking a few weeks,

26:44

depending on whether I get my stuff together. You know how it

26:46

is, you have a project and then you start doing it and

26:48

then just other things come in the way, but I just really

26:50

need to lock in and just get some plans out, you know

26:53

what I mean? What, would

26:56

you like some help? We

27:01

are, uh... Bad! Bad?

27:04

We are bad, that's right. And we also

27:07

hate, we hate this bloody place. Yeah!

27:09

We'd love to help you unmake it

27:11

if you were looking for four little

27:13

assistants. Well, that is us. We also

27:16

hate ourselves. Oh Polly, I appreciate

27:18

that, and there's so much of you to

27:20

hate, but I don't hate you,

27:23

not necessarily. It's that

27:25

hate that you have for yourself which is, what's

27:28

imperfect? No.

27:30

Wait. Um... Just

27:32

kidding. We love,

27:36

we love, we love our

27:38

stuff. No,

27:40

no, look, it's completely fine, I don't need

27:43

any help, this is something I'm doing myself.

27:46

I have plans for the next... I have a question. Yes.

27:49

So what's up? Why then, what's the big problem? Why

27:52

the unmaking? I just feel like this

27:54

was a bit of a draft, you know? And

27:57

things just sort of got out of hand, I mean

27:59

the only one... that I think about keeping is him

28:01

and she points to Valerian.

28:05

I like

28:08

this guy. I

28:12

like it better now. Aesthetically, don't

28:14

you agree? Can I ask you a question? Yes,

28:16

that's why I'm here. What is... if

28:18

you had to name one weakness that you

28:21

had. That's

28:25

why we were all just talking about

28:27

our weaknesses. I

28:30

am allergic to...

28:33

Chamomile. I know, yes. I

28:35

created your great-great-great-great-great-grandfather. So

28:41

what's yours? In case

28:43

I'm a bit of an affectionist. I

28:46

start doing something and I think, no, gotta get it right.

28:49

Do it a few more times, so to speak. This

28:52

is good, though. I feel like they're getting a bit of... It's like

28:54

a Q&A, isn't it? Do

28:56

you read our minds?

28:59

I wouldn't want to. Bit weird. But

29:02

can you? Sometimes.

29:06

Really? What am I thinking of right now? Okay,

29:10

you called my bluff. I can't read your minds.

29:12

But I do know what you've been mucking around

29:14

with. You're looking for the weapons

29:16

and I just had to pop in just

29:18

because I think it's fruitless and

29:20

you're really going to enjoy what I have planned for

29:22

the next Earth. So let's just cut that out now.

29:24

Can we all put our hands up? Hand

29:27

up, everyone? So... We're

29:30

not putting our hands up? We're not

29:32

going to be here for the next Earth if you're going to kill

29:34

us all. Yeah. Not fair. What

29:36

if there's cool stuff there? There's going to be

29:38

a lot of cool stuff. Which I see

29:40

my plans and she pulls out kind of out

29:43

of the back pocket of Nilmayer like

29:45

a blueprint, which is like an artist

29:47

rendition. And she says, there's quite

29:49

a few. This one's a bit post-modern. But

29:52

I'm going to do a lot with the lighting, I think. It's

29:54

going to mean something about capitalism. working

30:00

on it i don't quite get it why did

30:02

he white but it was a

30:04

guy have that in his pant the whole time i

30:06

put it there i

30:09

knew this was going to happen and i put it there

30:11

look do i have to ask questions about you or can we

30:13

ask questions about other stuff as well you don't have to i

30:16

just thought it would be nice for me to sort of pop

30:18

in just get the four one one

30:20

with you gang felt a bit rude the

30:22

other day what i was doing with the

30:24

whole distraction of frost opolis what

30:27

can you remind why you know talking

30:29

to us because you just feel rude okay

30:32

two things one i kind of felt like

30:34

nil my was poking around looking for the

30:36

weapons and i just want to say

30:38

it's probably not a good idea but i feel like

30:40

you're probably going to want to follow him around and

30:43

collect them all up and do you silly little thing

30:45

so i thought i might jump in

30:48

suggest you don't and if you

30:50

still wanted to maybe do this and

30:52

she cracks uh... no my is going

30:55

to risk uh... in in in back

30:57

it goes okay

31:03

well i'm going to keep doing it okay

31:06

i want to see i

31:09

will it's looking crazy

31:11

i can't i'd like to you like

31:14

if you just move your head go

31:16

ahead do check it doesn't crack he's

31:18

double jointed what

31:20

what i can assure you it's not double jointed what

31:22

do you what are you trying to

31:25

do nothing i just i just want to see i want to

31:27

see i want to see if you

31:29

could twist his wrist off and

31:32

in a flash gavin flies

31:35

across the room and

31:37

splashes on struttin' off

31:40

onto nil my it says nil

31:43

my way it's not that good and half

31:45

of the eye kind of like flashes back

31:47

and goes white one of the eyes still

31:49

stays black with him arm

31:51

i've got what k Nice

32:00

method bad. I've got this on me.

32:02

That's disgusting. This is exactly the reason

32:04

we need a new earth This

32:07

on me. This on me Feeling

32:15

like they're like he's losing grip

32:18

he kind of raised his his

32:20

semi the good wrist and he

32:22

flicks his hand a ring a

32:25

big white ring on his fingers

32:27

glows blue and just behind you

32:29

a giant crack in reality seems

32:32

to like a

32:34

big ice wall and smack clicks open

32:36

and Begins to

32:38

suck you guys through And

32:45

you all come yourself Go

32:49

run before she takes control I

32:58

Thought we're talking about our weaknesses still or no He

33:05

goes there's some cream for that in the

33:07

top drawer grab it on

33:10

your way out Will

33:22

you be okay? I don't

33:24

know that you can't stay to

33:26

find out by the weapons And

33:38

with a flash of Heroes

33:44

Through the portal rising

33:47

and weaving Twisting

33:50

and Landing

33:57

with a In

34:00

the dark, in the

34:02

dark, in the dark.

34:07

The dark is wet. And

34:10

indeed it is wet, and

34:12

all around you, sounds

34:15

of slurping. In

34:18

the dark, sticky

34:22

wet pads on

34:24

slimy wet flesh.

34:32

All right, well I'm looking around. Can I see

34:34

in the dark? I'm just a human. I can't.

34:38

I'm gonna touch something. So

34:40

you reach out and you

34:43

touch something. Do

34:47

you say yes when I've got it

34:49

right? I've

34:53

got a torch, I'm gonna light a torch. That's

34:57

smart. And as the sparks

35:00

flicker your torch into

35:03

life, dozens

35:07

of sets of eyes blink

35:11

at you through

35:13

the darkness, looking at

35:15

you guiltily. For

35:18

their, for

35:21

their lips are

35:23

locked to one another. You

35:26

have found yourself in

35:28

a jungle, in the midst

35:30

of what looks like a polywog

35:33

teen make-out party. Polywog

35:37

teen make-out party? No, polywogs. You know, it

35:39

looks like frog people. It's a bunch of

35:41

frogs making out. You've

35:44

taken us to a frog sex party. I'm

35:48

not. Yeah.

35:56

I feel like we've done a frog

35:58

sex party. sex party in

36:01

Dragon Friends before. Yeah, but that

36:03

was years ago. It's time for

36:05

another one. It's what I'm saying.

36:07

What's the sexiest frog sex music?

36:09

Um, bam, bam, bam, bam. It's

36:14

not easy being horny. How?

36:18

Why are there so many songs

36:21

about gang bang? Why

36:26

are there so many songs about

36:28

gang bangs? You'll have to tune

36:30

in to the next episode of

36:32

Dragon Friends to find out what

36:35

will happen. How slimy will

36:37

it be? What

36:40

will, what details will the

36:42

lyrics contain? Uh,

36:46

please come back to find out. Bye!

36:53

The cast of Dragon Friends campaign 2

36:55

is Alex Lee, Simon Greiner, Michael Hinn,

36:57

and Demi Lass. Our dungeon

36:59

masters are Eden Lacey and Tom Cardy,

37:01

who revive accompaniments by Nick Hayes. Shakira

37:04

Khan is our producer, the podcast of

37:06

edited master by me, Hugh Guest, and

37:08

new episodes are recorded live every month

37:10

at the Vanguard Theatre in Sydney, on

37:12

Gadigal Land in the Eora Nation. This

37:15

week's episode is brought to you by contributors

37:18

to the Dragon Friends Patreon, who get early

37:20

access to ad-free episodes, show recordings, and exclusive

37:22

content for just five dollars a month. I feel

37:24

like that. When it

37:26

got us three times from

37:28

years of imprisonment, promising

37:31

ruins to roam, the

37:34

ritcheons of all play-play

37:37

making paintings, you

37:39

will pretend that someone

37:41

has been saw. For

37:44

heroes of love, for heroes

37:46

of mine, it's

37:49

easy to see, but it's easy to

37:51

be gone. Why

38:12

are there so many

38:15

songs about gang bangs?

38:19

It's the longest night

38:21

of my life. Orgies

38:27

are parties, but mainly

38:29

for coitus, and

38:32

why's that guy fucking

38:34

my wife? So

38:38

I'm just hiding out

38:40

here in the bathroom,

38:43

listening to Chad fuck

38:46

Britney. Someday

38:49

I'll get it, a gang

38:53

bang erection, the

38:55

lovers, the rumors, and

38:57

me. I

39:15

went to the bar just to get a drink as soon as I

39:17

got off stage, and I came back upstairs and

39:19

Dave was coming down. He said, oh, they're in there

39:21

just like writing the gang bang song. I was like,

39:23

oh, that's funny. And

39:25

they were. That's

39:46

amazon.com/comedy ad free to catch up

39:48

on the latest episodes without

39:50

the ads. you