0:00

Okay, so I think we're about to start.

0:02

Everybody has their rumours, they have their potential

0:04

great culture clubs, some of you might even be mutants. Aperol

0:07

spritzers. Aperol spritzers. Some of you, not

0:09

all of you, but some of you have shirts. Are

0:11

we ready to play? I have a shirt, it's

0:13

just open. Like I'm in possession of a shirt. Extremely

0:16

open. First, the bad news. The world is no longer habitable for human

0:18

life. Now for the good news. Your new life starts today.

0:20

Deep undercover, our troubleshooters

0:24

find themselves outside Hab

0:26

Complex. Lime tree tango.

0:42

Now, the five of you, our three original troubleshooters,

0:45

their new loyalty officer and firebrand,

0:47

their prisoner slash associate double

0:49

agent have found themselves outside Hab Complex.

0:52

Lime tree tango.

0:54

As I said, the foyer seems full of

0:57

rough and ready red, orange

0:59

and infrared operatives. Your costumes feel

1:01

very much out of place. The Hab Complex

1:04

itself is

1:04

a large multi-story building

1:07

inside an open vaulted dome at

1:09

the back of the sector. Most of it disused with flickering

1:11

power and pollution and garbage

1:14

everywhere. And my question to you

1:16

is how do you want to do this? So when

1:18

you say our costumes are out of place, the costumes

1:20

that we've been given? Yes, you were issued costumes

1:23

to help you infiltrate Scion. These

1:25

are the torn t-shirts.

1:26

We're like, we're like cops trying to get into a music

1:28

festival dressed like young folks. And everyone

1:30

else is just dressed in regular suits,

1:32

jumpsuits. Yeah, maybe some of them have got rolled

1:35

up sleeves, but that's about as far as it goes. Do we still

1:37

have our jumpsuits on us? Um,

1:40

not, no, you only have your utility belts,

1:42

so no, you would have left your original jumpsuits. We have one up our butt.

1:45

Well if you were, I guess you would.

1:48

But I'd have to be demoted. Yeah,

1:50

I mean if anyone's demoted or promoted, I guess

1:53

you would get a new uniform.

1:53

You get a fre- he got, um, Quatro

1:56

got a fresh one. He didn't have to get, he didn't-

1:58

It didn't come out of his butt. We can ask

2:00

Frank Compute to drop them. Hello,

2:04

I heard my name? Um, yes

2:07

Frank Compute, we were just wondering, we

2:09

think we actually look a little out of place with

2:11

these godforsaken punk outfits

2:13

on. So if you would be so kind, could

2:16

we just be issued with some regular

2:18

red and one orange jumpsuit?

2:20

Godforsaken? I don't understand, were you

2:22

not issued with your scion costumes? According

2:25

to PsyOps research, they are a 100% fit

2:28

for the current fashions of all scion operatives.

2:30

Look, I'm just seeing what my eyes are reporting

2:32

to me and do not believe they

2:35

deceive me. Uh, so

2:37

just a few normal

2:40

outfits please. No,

2:42

normal outfits.

2:45

Not the costumes that Frank Compute

2:47

has provided for you. They may come in handy

2:49

later, but right now, sticking

2:52

out like a bit of a sore thumb, old chap.

2:54

No, no, that's fine. If you don't

2:56

want help from Frank Compute, I

2:59

suppose that it is important to show

3:01

initiatives. So I will provide

3:04

you with four very boring,

3:06

very ordinary, very non-top secret,

3:08

very unfun uniforms.

3:11

Frank

3:11

Compute, I've never heard you sound like this before.

3:13

You sound like your feelings are hurt. Well, it's just

3:16

that I thought that you were my favorite troubleshooters

3:18

and I kind of thought we had an understanding. But

3:21

if we're not really working together, I'll just

3:23

get what you want. By the way, those hats you asked

3:25

for? They're coming

3:27

and they're going to be great and they're going to be so

3:30

exciting. And I have put several thousand

3:33

kilo cycles of memory into

3:35

getting you the best delivery of hats I can. But

3:38

now you don't want my uniform. So I guess...

3:41

Fuck me, I guess. Well, here

3:45

are your uniforms. Good

3:47

luck on the mission. And then it closes

3:49

and then four vacuum

3:51

packed uniforms land. It has to be

3:54

said in a garbage bin that is

3:56

not that close to you, but is plausibly,

3:58

deniably close to you. And there's...

3:59

vacuum packs just fall into the garbage bin? We

4:02

should put them on. Great, you break

4:05

them out, you open up and you have a new

4:07

series of red outfits. Yes,

4:10

I was not going to say anything but you look

4:12

like clowns. But now we look normal. Yes,

4:14

I thought the point was for you to look like clowns.

4:17

I did not guess it, but if you want to blend

4:19

in, yes, it's good to not dress

4:21

like fuckheads.

4:23

I just really feel like I got a bit of passag

4:25

from the computer just then. Maybe

4:28

it's not as robotic as we once thought.

4:30

Computer is stressed, computer

4:32

is slightly

4:35

treasonous to say, but if for penny, for pound,

4:39

computer

4:41

should break down. Do

4:43

we still have the kind of silence

4:45

that excludes... No,

4:47

that was inside the lab. That

4:49

was just a demonstration, we couldn't have that.

4:52

Well, I've got a job to do. Now, where is this

4:54

house? I'm

4:58

imagining, by the way, this thing looking

5:01

a bit like Diverse Flats. Do

5:02

you know that old IRA stronghold,

5:05

like those council flats? It

5:07

does look like council flats, yes. I know

5:10

the specific ones you mean, but it's a tenement. So

5:13

it's lots of tiny little apartments

5:15

crammed on top of each other. Listen,

5:17

if you want to talk

5:20

outside of the prying ears of the

5:23

Amigo, there

5:26

is a naturally occurring dead zone

5:29

three levels

5:29

up in these flats. I'm

5:32

just saying, I'm just saying that. Everyone's

5:35

got our names, sound off, please. Gazelle.

5:39

Jellyfish. Cop. Pikachu.

5:42

Firebrand. Nope. Nope.

5:47

That's your... That's

5:49

your scab name. That's your scab name. That's your

5:51

real name, Yev. Well, I'm

5:54

Sykes, but that's not a codename. That's just

5:56

name. No, no, no. You don't need a codename.

5:59

You don't need a codename with your football.

5:59

But I want a cult name. Oh, you

6:02

should come up with a different one. You can't have firebrand.

6:04

What about... Can't be Iceman.

6:06

Mr. Big Dick. Monsieur

6:09

Big Dick? Better, but not quite

6:11

there. Uh, what about like... What

6:14

about Monsieur Grand Pee Pee? Monsieur

6:17

Grand Pee Pee, okay. Yes, alright.

6:19

Alright, so you're gonna Monsieur Grand Pee Pee... So

6:22

yeah, you have an automap which shows you the

6:24

entire building actually. It's a wireframe of it that you can access.

6:27

But you want to go through the front door? Tell me this, uh,

6:30

Monsieur Le Pee Pee...

6:32

These people inside

6:34

this building... What

6:36

is the least suspicious thing

6:38

that we could do? It's a tough question,

6:41

I grant you, but... Maybe

6:43

think of the most suspicious thing we could do and choose

6:45

the opposite. Well listen, here is problem. I

6:48

have been missing for two weeks. There

6:52

is an assumption, in this case a correct one, that

6:54

I have been captured by Alpha Complex,

6:57

possibly turned. Our story

7:00

that we are trying to tell together

7:03

is that you are mutants who have liberated

7:05

me from them. I am coming home as

7:07

Prodigal Son, but I don't

7:09

know if Dingo, who is now in command,

7:12

he is a big shithead.

7:16

I raise him from nothing,

7:18

from lower than the dirt, and

7:21

he has his eye on my command

7:24

for so long. And I bet you

7:27

that I would have been gone for two

7:29

weeks or two days and

7:31

he would be in the top spot. Well maybe

7:34

then, if we bring you in

7:36

rescued but perhaps injured, you

7:38

don't provide an immediate threat to him

7:41

and it gives us some, uh,

7:45

let's say wiggle room to assess

7:48

his character and feelings towards you. This

7:51

I regret to say is probably

7:53

a good idea.

7:54

Or do we pretend that

7:56

he, we suspect that he's been turned into

7:58

a double agent?

8:01

Well that's okay I'm listening. Okay,

8:03

I mean it doesn't not have merit.

8:06

Keep talking. So let me understand, you're gonna pretend

8:08

that he is somebody who is intentionally

8:10

infiltrating.

8:11

Yes, but we're the good ones

8:13

who stopped his plans from being

8:16

a double agent. Now, saying this in

8:18

front of our good fellow Sykes here might

8:20

present some obstacles.

8:24

This is not a bad idea. If

8:26

we can mop up afterwards, make

8:28

everybody happy, but

8:31

this is not a bad idea. You have

8:33

in your story captured the double agent,

8:36

the traitor, and you have brought him

8:38

back for justice. But won't they just

8:40

kill you when we kill the fool? Well maybe this

8:43

is a risk. Is

8:45

that a risk you're willing to take? But also

8:47

maybe they let us in and then we can do some talking.

8:50

Perhaps then Dingo lets us into his inner

8:52

circle because you have

8:54

to pretend that they can't trust you, which actually they

8:56

can't trust you because you are a double agent. Let

8:59

me remind you that I'm very stupid and at any point

9:01

I might get confused.

9:02

Is there a piece of information and

9:04

item perhaps that you have knowledge of that they

9:06

would know that we would not know in this we

9:09

had captured you? If we spill the

9:11

beans on that, they will know that

9:14

we know what you know and they...

9:18

Here's what I want to do. Dave,

9:20

can I get to the dead zone, some

9:23

kind of dead zone,

9:25

without having to go into the flats? Absolutely.

9:27

I mean there's windows leading

9:29

up to the third floor, there are vents through the building. You

9:32

might even know of a secret bolt hole

9:34

or a scape hole. Does Firebrand

9:36

know of any secret ways to get out? I

9:39

think I have a way in. First we need to talk

9:41

without Amigo hearing.

9:44

This is still in Amigo's interests

9:46

but not technically part of the...

9:49

Guys, I need to throw a red flag on this

9:51

guys. We've been talking about dead zones for a while and I understand

9:53

we're looking to complete the mission for

9:55

Amigo. But these

9:58

dead zones, this language...

9:59

I'm not vibing. I hear

10:02

you and here is my idea. Will

10:04

somebody, you are the biggest,

10:07

punch him very hard in the back of the head.

10:09

May potentially be against the rules. I might have to write you

10:12

up for that. Okay,

10:14

I mean, I'll punch him in the back of the head. Who outranks

10:16

who at this point? I don't know. You both

10:18

read Clarence. In terms of the- Yeah, no,

10:21

I think you'll be a snitch. And if I punch

10:23

him in the back of the head, you'll call the amigo out here. What

10:25

do you think the loyalty officer thing around my neck-

10:29

Well, if it is- If you think it is

10:31

for the betterment of the mission, I mean, I could allow

10:34

a back of head punch. Is it somehow

10:36

necessary? Explain how it's necessary. Well,

10:39

I'm just saying if it is necessary, but at

10:41

the moment it sounds like I'm getting punched. Tom, don't let them hit

10:43

you

10:43

unless they have a good reason. Well, you know,

10:46

I'm destructible. It's one of my- As a human

10:48

being, I understand your

10:50

reluctance to get punched in the back of the head.

10:52

My suggestion for this was that this man

10:55

here- I'm gonna punch him in the back of the head. All right, wonderful.

10:57

All right, you roll up your fists and you do a

10:59

quick melee violence attack.

11:03

Always remember your computer dice. Um,

11:06

I got two successes. Two successes. And just

11:08

as you're trying to work out what the reason is, you get

11:11

cold clocked and you slump down unconscious.

11:13

You are now hurt. You take a point of

11:15

damage as your loyalty officer slumps

11:18

against the building

11:19

and now- And then Dave, I'm gonna

11:21

say to these guys, why

11:23

did I just- What? Why did I just do that?

11:26

What

11:26

just happened? Who? Why did my arm

11:28

move? Just like that, just then. What just

11:31

happened? Did you make me do it? Did

11:33

you make me do it? Who made me punch that man?

11:36

You're saying that your hand was- Let

11:39

me just check my messages as well. You're saying your hand

11:41

was connected by force

11:43

other than your own? Yep. My hand was

11:45

controlled. I've seen somebody with machine

11:47

empathy would be the only one- Oh, oh, oh, oh.

11:50

That's not true, actually. There are other telekin-

11:52

Telekines. Puppeteers are an very-

11:55

Are you telling me his arm is machine?

11:57

You are full of shit. Well, it is currently-

11:59

in a giant machine. And

12:02

he's got his mutant disguise on too. So

12:05

I don't know what the fuck just happened

12:07

there, but I just clocked this young lad in the

12:09

head. Completely

12:12

innocent. That is your

12:14

witness. That was a classic case of machine

12:16

malfunction.

12:17

Plausible deniability, yeah, all

12:19

around. Listen, I can tell you it was not

12:21

me, and I can tell you this for the truth. There

12:23

are mutants everywhere. This is the flats. But

12:25

listen. Also an interesting fact about mutants

12:28

is that the way that mutations work in the vats

12:30

is that there will always be a dominant mutation, which means

12:32

you can't have more than one mutation. Because

12:34

you know that he has machine empathy.

12:37

It's very unlikely, unless he was wearing some

12:39

kind of metal glove

12:40

that, which you were actually. Which

12:42

I am. I said my entire left arm is machine.

12:45

Yeah, OK, I guess. Well,

12:46

who knows? It could have been fucking any one of you. So what's

12:48

the plan? Let's go to the dead zone. Let's

12:50

just quickly go to the dead zone. Carry him, make him

12:52

comfy. We don't need to hurt him

12:54

any more than he is. We need

12:57

to have chat. It's three stories up. So

12:59

how do you propose to do it? Let's hide his

13:01

inanimate corpse.

13:03

Boing. Oh, you're

13:05

going to activate your,

13:07

make a little jump? All right, so you grab your

13:09

little. I'll carry a beetle. While

13:11

you're all thinking, you grab your thrusters, you

13:14

jump on, you activate them, and then you execute

13:16

a perfect jump. She's grabbing beetle too. Yeah,

13:19

so I'm going to make a roll for it. Can you make for me very

13:21

quickly a mechanics operate?

13:24

Shouldn't I get some extra mutant dice for that,

13:26

Dave? I mean, don't believe your own life because

13:29

you know it's not a mutation. You know

13:31

that these are special, special

13:33

equipment that was granted to you by Victor.

13:35

What about operating?

13:37

For operating?

13:38

No, I don't have any, I don't have an operating one. That's

13:41

right, I've got two mechanics. I'll be okay. All right,

13:43

here we go. You can add if you want to just spend a point of moxie.

13:48

This probably stares. That's a success. I got

13:50

one success, yep. All right, so boing while you're talking, the

13:52

figure of Clancy grabs beetle and dives

13:54

and smashes through a third story window,

13:57

leaving the other three of you on the ground. A little help.

14:00

We can climb up drain pipe. You

14:03

feel up to it? Yeah, yeah,

14:05

I'd love to clamber up a drain pipe. Listen,

14:07

you, uh, Bofcon, you come with

14:10

me, you stay behind for a moment,

14:12

keep look out, and then when we say coast is

14:14

clear, you come up. Wait a minute, as leader

14:17

of this team, I don't think I should be left out of any decision

14:19

making and strategy. You can go first if

14:21

you want. We need two on the wall, one

14:23

on the ground. Do you want to go first, leave them?

14:26

I guess I'll go last. I will go up the drain pipe, last. Alright,

14:28

so you decide to keep a watch out, the two of you start

14:31

climbing up the drain pipe. Are you

14:33

using the belt? Uh,

14:35

I guess I have to, don't I? Because I don't

14:37

have good athletics. Also, because otherwise you only have

14:39

one hand. There's many other ones a dead weight. But this does give

14:41

you hundreds of other little hands. Yeah, yeah, I'll use the

14:43

belt. Make a little mechanics operate check for me. Shh,

14:46

shh, shh, shh.

14:48

Oh, no! Fuck. I'm

14:50

not gonna, I'm not gonna... But

14:51

I'm gonna help him. Does that help him? Uh, you can give

14:53

him a... I'm gonna help

14:54

him up. You can give him a bonus dice. Bonus

14:57

dice? I'm still, my mechanic, my operate

14:59

is negative five, so I'm gonna help him. That's alright,

15:01

as long as you get a few successes. Uh, oh god, that's

15:03

one success. Yeah, that's a silly computer dice. And then four negatives. But

15:06

you're in the dead zone. Four negatives. Not

15:08

yet. So I'm negative

15:10

three. Yep. And then I have a computer.

15:13

Okay, great. Alright, so you start to climb up, and

15:15

at first it seems like a dream, as the little tendrils are helping

15:17

you, and for a second you find yourself thinking, what's the point of

15:20

this hand? Like I'm a god now, I have hundreds

15:22

of tiny little hands, it's working. And

15:24

then suddenly you get, you

15:26

find yourself at the moment of confidence, and in that

15:28

moment you are distracted suddenly by a chime in your

15:30

head. Ding ding

15:31

ding, hello computer here. Have you found

15:34

the hats that I've supplied? No,

15:36

we didn't get the hats at all. Where are the hats? Confusing,

15:39

I will get an update on those. Those hats are meant to be

15:41

coming towards you. How's the mission going by the way? Should

15:43

I talk quietly? Are we already deep undercover?

15:46

Yes, yes. He's just blasting you by

15:48

the way out through a speaker. And you know what computer, you're ruining

15:50

this right now.

15:51

Oh, I'm so sorry. You know what I'll do? Is I'll

15:53

put down a sound notification zone centered on

15:55

you for the next

15:56

ten minutes. And he hits you, and now

15:58

you can't speak. So it hits you in

16:00

the center of your voice, and he's like, alright, tell me

16:02

if you want me to get rid of it, otherwise I will keep it there,

16:05

computer out. And he stops, but from

16:07

the distraction, you take a point of moxie, and

16:10

you start realizing that while you were talking

16:12

to him, you lost slight control of the tendrils,

16:14

and as you look down, you see that you've continued to climb up,

16:17

but your tendrils have dismantled

16:19

the drains leading up,

16:22

just tearing them out, and now many of your tendrils,

16:24

you're sort of trailing about,

16:26

I would say, 10 to 15 kilos of drain

16:28

pipe behind you in a

16:29

sort of dress, but you managed to haul

16:32

yourself through the window. You know what I've realized, Dave,

16:34

is that my athletics

16:36

is negative three, and I was like, well,

16:38

I'll get this to make up for my negative three athletics.

16:41

And it wasn't explained to us that

16:44

we'd be using operate to use these, which

16:46

is negative five. What did you think you would be using? Well,

16:48

I don't know, I just thought we'd be able to use them. I

16:51

didn't know what that's what operate was, I don't know what any of these skills

16:53

do. So actually what that means is, Sounds

16:55

like you're in a worse, seems like you're in a worse

16:57

situation than you were, yeah, it's almost

16:59

like you withheld that information on purpose, Dave. I

17:02

don't want to think about that, but I do

17:04

think, so now we just, as long as we know, you're

17:06

missing your fingerprints on one hand, you have a big piece of metal just

17:08

wrapped over the other hand, you're trailing about 15 kilos

17:11

of

17:11

drain pipe, and you have

17:14

cut off the team later from the rest of the group by

17:16

destroying the means of Agris into the building. However,

17:18

as you are pulled through the window, luckily,

17:21

a small mercy, the silence

17:23

bubble that was put around you pops because you've entered

17:25

the dead zone and you find yourself being dragged

17:27

into a side room by the figure of Firebrand.

17:30

Quick word, we don't have a lot of

17:32

time, so I'm going to be very, very quick.

17:35

I know what you are, and this is fine,

17:37

don't deny it, I know what you are. I know

17:40

you have powers, I know you've been in contact, it's

17:42

fine, and don't freak out.

17:45

Listen, you spoke before about triple

17:47

agents, it's true, I never lost the

17:49

faith. Keep your head down, listen

17:51

to what I say, and we'll be fine. Proof,

17:55

you gotta prove to me that you're a triple agent then.

17:58

How? There's

17:59

a bubble. I need that you know

18:01

where it is. Okay. Tell me where it is

18:03

and Then I'll trust

18:05

you fantastic I know about this

18:07

box because I was the one who took

18:10

a drone with my machine

18:12

empathy and I took

18:15

it from Alpha and I moved

18:17

it to where we are right now. Where

18:19

is it here? Then

18:21

it is in the flat. It is in that most

18:23

diabolical hiding place of all Okay,

18:26

it is in you know There's a chest

18:28

of drawers in one of the flats The

18:31

main flat in my office in my

18:33

my old office. It is not in

18:35

the first draw

18:37

Okay, it is in the second draw

18:39

second draw, but wait the plot

18:41

thickens. Okay writing this down You

18:44

must not write this down. You must just think about it

18:46

in your mind

18:48

More diabolical than the second row down.

18:50

It has a manila folder on top

18:53

of it So we need to open the drawer

18:55

you would never see it now my concern

18:57

is this

18:59

Dingo

19:00

has contacted the free enterprise and

19:03

they are paying for extraction and

19:05

let me tell you something Sion is

19:07

a lot of things but they are not cash rich

19:10

So I am assuming that he has something of great

19:12

value to trade and I think

19:15

he's going to trade the box We cannot

19:17

allow that to happen But

19:19

don't wait but don't we want Sion to get

19:21

the box? Yes, and he's about to trade it

19:23

to the free enterprise for extraction

19:26

Right the free enterprise and Sion are different

19:28

people very much. So that's why they have different

19:31

names, right? Okay, so then we

19:33

need to decide if the box is worth all

19:35

those mutant lives Yes I've made

19:37

this calculation even second hand

19:39

through the drone when I was delivering it this

19:41

morning to the secret secret hiding space Remember

19:44

second draw down under a folder.

19:47

I know

19:49

Even then through a drone

19:51

I felt something about this box. This is

19:53

a machine that dreams Okay,

19:57

why is that? important

19:59

It's something I have never encountered

20:02

before. This is old, old,

20:05

old technology and I feel it

20:07

might give us some insight into

20:09

what Alpha Complex really is about

20:11

and how to bring it down.

20:14

Okay then, well alright, I guess all these mutants

20:18

have to die then. Yes, but you really... well,

20:21

we don't have to kill them, we just have to... Well,

20:24

they're rendering their suffering, that seems like the most generous

20:26

thing we can do. I don't think I... I wouldn't

20:28

put it... Okay. Firebrand pulls out

20:31

a patch of what looks like... you don't even notice

20:33

it, it looks like just part of his sleeve, but someone

20:35

has concealed underneath it two

20:38

small needlers. They're basically

20:41

little pneumatic guns that fire syringes

20:43

and he pulls one of them off. They're so small

20:46

you can conceal them in your palm and he hands it

20:48

to you. Take this, I

20:50

had it concealed on me when I was arrested, you

20:53

might find it useful. I have another one. What

20:55

does it shoot? Needles. No, but

20:57

does it have like a... Ultranox, it's

20:59

the same heavy paralytic that Tom

21:01

has a copy of, that Beadle has a copy of. Okay,

21:05

bye bye. Okay, so meanwhile, while

21:07

Firebrand is having a quick chat to Bofcon,

21:10

downstairs you see a

21:12

figure of a bluecoat as you sort of stare up trying to work out

21:14

how you're going to get up the side

21:16

of the building now that you've watched

21:18

in slow motion and dawning horror as

21:20

you've seen Bofcon meticulously

21:22

tear apart the gutters

21:25

that you were planning to climb up. You suddenly

21:27

feel a tap on the shoulder and there's a bluecoated security

21:29

officer. Hello

21:32

friend, how are you

21:34

today? Not bad. What

21:38

are you doing lurking outside

21:40

this stronghold for mutants? Okay,

21:43

so he knows what it is.

21:44

Do

21:46

we want to have him not? No, I like it. He's doing

21:48

his job very well. This is a lazy security

21:51

guard. As you can see from a

21:54

holographic readout, I am a

21:58

orange.

22:00

Man. From Alpha

22:02

Complex. You mean like a noble over? And Frenkie

22:04

Beauty is my friend and I'm a troubleshooter

22:07

with a team under me. I am currently

22:10

scoping out

22:13

mission stuff. And

22:15

I would love for you to help out if

22:17

you're available. Well help out is very

22:19

interesting because you outrank him by two uniforms.

22:22

However troubleshooters do operate outside the blue

22:24

coats.

22:24

We're above this. Surely we're above this.

22:27

To the side. This is a secret mission. Sometimes

22:29

troubleshooters do go above the security mission. But that doesn't

22:31

mean your clearance is higher. If you would like to

22:33

check in with Fren Computer as to our mission

22:37

and the legality

22:40

and express consent of

22:42

Fren Computer, you may do so.

22:45

In fact, allow me. Fren Computer. Hello.

22:47

Yes. Is this about the hats? The hats are coming. There

22:49

was a problem with the hats but I've sorted it and the hats

22:51

are on their way. Fren Computer, whichever hat you get us

22:53

is fine. As you can see, Fren Computer and

22:55

us are very good friends. Yeah, he's very

22:57

impressed by that. Fren Computer sounds like... Did

23:01

Fren Computer ever get you a hat?

23:02

Oh great. There are more hats

23:04

now? I don't think I have enough. No, no, no, no. No, it's fine. I will

23:06

wait. There's some more hats. It's going to take a few more sub-routines.

23:09

Would you like a hat? More hats are on their way. Well

23:11

if it's a trouble... Apparently it's

23:13

not. Apparently it's a high priority requisition

23:15

for a admittedly very important

23:17

top secret ultraviolet mission. Fren

23:20

Computer, if I may ask you a minute

23:22

of your very precious time. This

23:25

security officer here is doing his job and I

23:27

just want to assure him that we are here on

23:29

official business. Oh, well I

23:32

cannot of course confirm or

23:34

explicitly say the nature of the business but yes,

23:36

you are currently assigned to an ultraviolet level

23:39

mission. Ultraviolet?

23:42

Well, yes apparently. I mean...

23:44

He pales at that. Is

23:46

there anything I can do to help you? Yeah, what weapons do you

23:48

have on your person? I have my laser rifle

23:50

and I have a few grenades. May

23:53

I take those please? They

23:55

will help with the objective as we can see the stronghold

23:57

is... strong.

23:59

Yeah, also have your blue-coated key pass

24:02

just so you know, and of course your blue laser gun. Well,

24:04

that's not a weapon, but I like my key pass.

24:09

Well, let me ask

24:11

you this. I've got a lanyard with my name on it.

24:14

I made it myself. So jokes on you, it is a weapon because

24:16

blue coats have this more concealed knife that they

24:18

keep inside them. Frank computer, would

24:20

this be advantageous for us to use this? Give us an advantage

24:23

on our ultraviolet mission that otherwise

24:25

we wouldn't have without? Obviously all

24:27

resources required by ultraviolet missions must

24:30

be immediately obtained. For example, an

24:32

evidence see escalating demands

24:34

from hat-based subroutines. Well,

24:37

Frank computer, can I keep the lanyard? I put

24:39

my name on it and stitched it in. Has

24:41

the lanyard been requisitioned? No, I mean, yes.

24:43

Do you feel that ultraviolet missions should not be provided

24:45

with suitable equipment? No, I... Do you doubt

24:48

the veracity of the mission once explained to you by

24:50

Frank computer? Oh no, my bum's feeling

24:52

weird. It

24:55

flexes once, three trees and stars come, he pales,

24:57

he passes off the lanyard. Turns around, just takes

24:59

off his entire utility belt with

25:02

its... the power packs, the pistol, which is

25:04

technically illegal for you to have, all of it and

25:06

then just bolts in the other direction. So I've

25:08

got a power... What's

25:09

the lanyard is like a pass? It's a multi-pass.

25:11

Yeah, it'll get you into anywhere that

25:13

is red, orange, yellow or blue security clearance. Okay.

25:16

So pistol, extra pistol, three grenades.

25:18

Three grenades. Voting grenades. These ones are marked smoke.

25:21

Three

25:21

smoke grenades and

25:23

a laser rifle. The blue laser rifle,

25:25

that's correct. And so you grab all

25:27

of this, but meanwhile upstairs, the very, very top

25:30

landing, demounting is the figure

25:33

of our wonderful troubleshooter

25:35

Clancy.

25:36

And the still passed out body

25:38

of Beetle. I suppose, yeah. Yep.

25:40

All right. What do I see when I look around? You look around

25:42

and you see what looks like surprisingly a

25:44

luxury fitted apartment. There's something

25:47

almost old-fashioned about it as

25:49

if it's been

25:50

fashioned, like almost forbidden technology.

25:52

There's like old plush beds. There

25:54

is a wooden desk, which is very, very rare

25:57

here. It's not made of plastic or metal. There are

25:59

fabric surrounding.

25:59

It looks like it's a tastefully made up bedroom.

26:03

There's a door leading out to a corridor which is currently

26:05

closed and there's a desk, but other than that,

26:08

it's pretty empty. Can I wanna run my hands

26:10

over and feel that substance? Okay,

26:12

great. The wood. The

26:14

wood. Yep, so you walk up to the desk and

26:17

you start feeling that substance and it feels

26:19

organic and cool to the touch.

26:20

Does it bring back any memories for me

26:22

of like feeling, have I felt

26:26

wood or trees or nature or?

26:28

You've seen wood before, yeah. There's

26:30

a wood obviously. Of course. Yeah,

26:33

but it sparks something primal

26:35

in your kind of clone vat brain and

26:38

it feels incredibly decadent, luxurious.

26:40

You really discover that you want more than anything

26:42

is a wooden desk, but you don't

26:45

think you've ever seen one. You don't think you've been in

26:47

this room before?

26:48

No, I was just wondering if like it's

26:50

awakening any knowledge in me from

26:52

the outside world. For example, if

26:54

I've ever

26:56

gone, you know, if

27:00

it is true that I have come from the outside

27:02

world potentially or have any

27:04

memory of the outside world, I imagine that could be

27:06

a thing that could bring it back for me.

27:07

Yeah, make a brain psychology check for me.

27:09

But I don't have good brain psychology. All

27:11

right. Nope. No,

27:15

nothing more than I said, which is that you feel that

27:17

it feels very, very important, it feels very rich,

27:19

but you're not sure.

27:20

Can I open the desk and see if there's any letters in

27:22

the drawers or anything like that? Yeah, okay, so you

27:24

shift your- Is there sleep no more? You

27:26

shift your weight and you start

27:29

moving towards it. And as soon as you do, just,

27:32

you hear just enough time to suddenly

27:34

remember the venting button on

27:36

the side of your harness, which you haven't pressed, but you'll

27:38

leave kicks out from underneath

27:40

you and you throw yourself

27:43

into the desk as

27:46

the discharge of a three-story jump violently

27:49

hits into your sternum. You're instantly injured, you take two

27:51

points of injury. Oh man. Can you make for me very quickly

27:53

an athletics check, violence athletics?

27:55

I would love to. One, two,

27:57

three, four, five. This guy.

28:01

What you're dealing with here is one pass. Yeah,

28:05

one success. All right, you managed

28:07

to, you get thrown towards the window, smashed through the window,

28:09

and at the last minute managed to grab onto the windowsill

28:12

as the violent automatic

28:15

venting of the legs stops

28:18

you from being kicked back. Yeah, wow, whoa,

28:20

what a way to wake up, huh? What's

28:22

going on? You're wide awake now. Jeez

28:24

Louise, talk about a coffee. Not that I know what

28:26

that is. Wait, do you? Whoa,

28:30

do I? Yeah, you have to

28:32

get a mandatory brown drink is allowed for especially

28:34

like, late, very brown. Boy,

28:35

I tell you what, don't

28:37

talk to me before my mandatory brown drink, huh?

28:40

Or MPD for sure. Oh no, you say that. Just

28:43

don't talk to me before I've had my coffee.

28:45

It feels like I've said that before, leaning

28:47

against some sort of fax machine or something. Perhaps

28:49

it's just a dream. Anyway,

28:52

Beetle, my good man. At least we

28:54

finally got some time together. Yeah, it

28:57

feels good. Just quickly.

28:59

Why's the back of my head

29:00

hurt? Oh, I think it's because-

29:03

Hanging by one arm. Oh, sorry,

29:05

I'll pick you up. Thank you. I

29:08

struggling now, you realize ever since kicking, there's

29:10

something very wrong with the legs of

29:12

the- Oh, I didn't even get to do anything cool.

29:15

You didn't vent them. You got told in the lab

29:17

that you had to vent them. So now one of

29:19

them is very broken and you're walking- Should I unvent

29:21

one of them? Well, that you can try, but the problem is that

29:23

they're strapped, you're sort of strapped into them and they're underneath

29:25

your jumpsuit. So what am I walking like now? You've

29:28

got a waddle, you've got a real strange waddle.

29:30

You can sort of keep moving around, but

29:32

it, and every now and then your leg is just kicking out

29:35

and there's a blast of steam from your knee. Which

29:37

is now the best, I suppose that's your mutant

29:39

power, which is an uncomfortable blast from your

29:41

knee. Maybe we could change, we're gonna have to change your

29:43

name there. Maybe you could be

29:46

the mule.

29:47

Okay, all right,

29:49

mule.

29:50

Or alternatively, we take it off, we just

29:52

put it in the corner, that's all fine. And we just

29:54

make it, we can make a new mutant fit. That Victor

29:56

guy was a bit of bogus. Maybe it's just you

29:58

and me and like you can jump.

29:59

Can you juggle? You be the juggler! I

30:02

can't juggle. Okay, oh boy. You waddle

30:04

forward, you grab the figure of

30:07

Beatle, you pull him through, and at that moment a door

30:09

that you hadn't noticed to the other side of the corridor

30:11

door opens. The figure of Firebrand walks

30:13

in, and a second later the figure of

30:16

Bofkon walks in,

30:17

trailing now, it's about 15 kilos

30:20

of gutters, a big metal thing on the

30:22

side of his head, and also half

30:25

of a lounge chair that's sort of just now

30:27

also glued, because your tendrils are now

30:29

starting to just glue themselves onto things

30:31

around the room. And Firebrand

30:34

is trying to be cool, being like, okay, so you think it's

30:36

a mole? That's good. I

30:38

was worried that it was a sunspot or something,

30:40

but that's... He was just checking out

30:43

if my back... There

30:45

was a spot on my back, and

30:47

I was concerned about that. I'm

30:50

kind of confused as to how you might think you get

30:52

skin cancer down here, like a melanoma, when

30:54

we live underground. Well, I

30:57

feel so relieved that

30:59

you have told me that it's fine. Well,

31:02

I'm not really a trained doctor. I was just

31:04

born like two days ago, so... Are

31:06

we in the dead zone now? Yeah,

31:08

you're all in the dead zone. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

31:12

All right. And while you're in the dead zone, by the way, you don't need

31:14

to roll computer dice, just so you know whenever you make

31:16

changes. Okay, good. Dave, you

31:18

said that you were also looking over your shoulder

31:21

to see if the computer was watching. It's the first time I've

31:23

played this game. Sometimes I have to say rules out loud, and

31:25

to have any chance at all of remembering them.

31:28

Well, I believe it's high time to

31:30

cut the shit. It's...

31:34

Suck! Excuse me? What? Excuse

31:36

me? It's cut the shit. It's high time to... Is

31:38

that a saying, or are you being literal? Because we already

31:40

did the cup thing, and I don't really

31:42

want to... It's an un-loyalty thing. As you say that, there's a brrrr,

31:45

and then a blue square appears

31:47

on the floor, as if a secret door is appearing, elevating

31:49

itself pneumatically, and then it flips open, and there's

31:51

little stairs leading up, and

31:54

you see the figure of Strawberry

31:56

March up through a side access board, security access board.

31:59

Sorry.

31:59

Your pass? Oh, my pass. You said

32:02

the magic word. Cut

32:04

the shit. And I

32:06

shall appear.

32:09

Sykes. Yes. What's

32:12

going on here? Are you really? Now,

32:14

what's your real mission here? I just can't believe

32:17

that they would have turned you so fast.

32:18

They have very good drugs. They

32:20

are yummy ass. So good.

32:23

Toffee? Yeah, they are yummy drugs,

32:26

and I see the error of my voice.

32:29

I realize there are good things about

32:31

the mutant movement, but you know, you

32:33

change things from within gradually.

32:36

I'm a centrist now. Make a brain

32:39

psychology chest for me. I know

32:41

this, I know it's not your favorite.

32:44

Five. Five, you look at him, you don't buy any

32:46

of this.

32:48

No, no, I don't think so. I don't think it's the

32:50

drugs. Well, we are here to do a job,

32:52

so we go in, we have a snoop, we maybe

32:54

kill some people. This is fine, I

32:57

get relocated. Under

32:59

a new name, maybe Petey?

33:02

Not Monsieur Big Dick. Well,

33:04

actually, maybe I start

33:07

a new life as Monsieur Big

33:09

Dick, a local

33:11

pervert. Do

33:14

you know what they were offering me? It was a

33:17

chance at the new beginning, at the new

33:19

start. Yes, it is nice to have principles,

33:22

mutant rights, etc. But

33:25

at the end of the day, you have to look out for number one.

33:27

Number one being Monsieur Big

33:30

Dick.

33:31

Yes, I just... Is

33:34

it just the drugs that you're after? No,

33:38

it is a new life. No, a new life. I mean, but

33:40

what kind of new life is possible

33:42

here? I mean, I'm sorry if I... So he was a

33:44

wanted criminal, and by collaborating

33:46

with Insec and registering himself as a mutant,

33:48

they're basically offering to wipe

33:51

the slate clean, remove his trees

33:53

and stars, and let him take life

33:55

amongst alpha-completers. It's not a great life, particularly as

33:58

a registered mutant. You have many fewer privileges.

33:59

They're gonna move me far away from any

34:02

machines because they fear what I

34:04

can

34:05

see and do and whatever

34:07

but it will be nice. I will take up wittling.

34:10

How do you know they will keep their word with you though son?

34:13

Because I trust friend computer. Now

34:16

here's a question. Your

34:19

mechanical empathy,

34:21

does that expand to digital

34:24

artificial intelligences? In

34:28

the cone of silence? Yes, it

34:30

does. Can you maybe

34:33

get my tentacles

34:36

to unhook from all this drain pipe then please?

34:38

It is done. It touches your belt

34:41

and the belt clicks open and collapses

34:43

down dead but it does disengage

34:45

all of the... The thing is I need

34:48

to bring the belt back otherwise

34:50

they're gonna charge me for that and I didn't

34:52

take out the insurance policy. You should have told me

34:54

before you... That's why I asked if you could untangle...

34:57

I did untangle... No you didn't because

34:59

it still tangled the drain pipe. Yes I don't

35:01

think it was untangled. You were tangled

35:03

so now you are untangled. That's not what I asked

35:05

though. What I asked was can you untangle the drain pipe.

35:07

Even as conversation gets louder you hear a

35:09

knock on the door and it's like boy is anything alright

35:12

in there? I thought that room was empty.

35:14

No it's full. Ding...

35:16

What? It's full of people. Oh

35:19

no no no no no. Dingo said you gotta

35:21

stay out of the guest quarters. Oh we're guests

35:23

here.

35:24

Your guests? Yeah. You

35:27

can see there's another mutant. This one has

35:29

what looks like stone skin. Their skin

35:32

is hard like rock and they go

35:35

I recognise you? What's a bunch of smooth skins

35:38

doing here in the

35:38

zone? Oh no! Oh no! Oh

35:41

no! Oh no! No

35:43

it's reverse anti-mutantism and I can say

35:46

it because I've got... You see it's in... But hang

35:48

on are you guys... Oh

35:51

and this is my friend. Yeah are you

35:53

trying to tell us who you're mutant? Yeah I'm

35:55

a mutant. What do you do? My

35:58

mutant power is...

35:59

I can do this. And

36:02

then I'm gonna use my actual mutant power.

36:04

Oh. Oh. And I'm gonna

36:06

make strawberry shoot

36:08

beetle with this blue laser rifle. Oh, this

36:11

is exciting. All right. Now this is really

36:13

interesting. But I think we get to use my gun score

36:16

because I'm the one controlling it. Really?

36:18

Do I get a reaction or anything like that? No, you don't.

36:21

No, no, no, you don't roll straight away. You're actually going to

36:23

use your Moxie. Remember, using any mutant

36:25

powers takes Moxie. So how many

36:27

points of Moxie are you prepared to spend?

36:30

Because you're very close there. That's why I'm asking.

36:32

Why don't I go two and I'll just go crazy insane?

36:34

The other question is, if I go insane, do I get to do

36:36

this and then go insane? Of course you do, yeah, yeah. All right,

36:39

let's go insane. Sorry. Good. I

36:41

see Frieso's playing as your character right

36:43

now. I just wanted to say that I do feel like

36:45

that the day

36:46

that Hing finally snaps and kills one of us, possibly

36:48

me, let's be honest me, you are gonna

36:50

say something like, well, that's I guess because I can do this.

36:54

Just to be clear,

36:57

how does this prove to these guys that you're a mutant because

36:59

it would just look like I shot

37:00

somebody? Enough time to find out about that

37:02

now because the first... You've got hot dogs. The first

37:05

thing that happens... You just wack them around. No, he's... Is

37:07

I need you to make me... Yeah, so

37:09

first of all, with your mutant powers, if you did two

37:11

dice, I just want you to roll now two and

37:14

we'll actually add your violence as well. Two

37:17

into my violence? Yep. Just you

37:19

did a mutant power? That's right. You should have known his kings

37:21

the only one that knew about him. Two successes. Two successes?

37:24

All right. So you grab your

37:27

laces as well? Now, do I... Does my

37:29

brain know what's going on or am I like... As if a

37:31

non-bullshit version of

37:34

Bofcon's power activated, you feel like a bunch

37:36

of psychic tendrils, grab your hand like

37:38

there's a puppeteer with strings around it. What's going on here?

37:40

Jerks your hand around and... My arm's on my own! Sprays

37:43

laser fire in my... Oh my god, look Dave!

37:46

And I'm gonna film this as well. Yeah,

37:48

you piece of shit. And it

37:51

blasts through two shots. You take

37:53

two points of damage, my friend. You're already

37:55

hurt because you went through the window. Yeah, so I got one left.

37:57

Yeah, so you're now almost dead, but you're still...

37:59

alive but this is the first time we've had

38:02

this happen, Hing. You have lost it. Now

38:04

the way that you lose it is that in

38:06

some way that makes sense to the scene or makes

38:08

sense to one of your personality traits played up

38:10

to 700%, you suddenly

38:13

have a major psychotic break. He just gets so gallant.

38:15

And then you can choose how that works. Just opening all

38:18

the doors he can find. But

38:22

the more honestly you play it towards

38:25

having the break and playing chaos towards the scene, the more

38:27

you will be rewarded in your next clone. You got that?

38:29

I think then the most generous thing for

38:32

me to do is

38:34

probably give all my,

38:38

give my three grenades and

38:40

my two bottles

38:42

of Clorex, scumbegone,

38:45

to the most injured person, which

38:49

is Beatle. So I'm going to throw

38:51

them to him. Three

38:55

of them are grenades.

38:56

One of them isn't

38:58

as an acidic. Yeah, but this is good. This is

39:00

like I can see the internal logic. I can see how it's going

39:02

to be a disaster, but that's excellent. I can

39:05

do the rockets, but that would block the building. And you have grenades.

39:07

You did. You bought some. Yeah, I've got three grenades. High explosive.

39:10

But in his mind, he's giving

39:12

everything away. So it means suddenly having a panics

39:14

breakdown because your friend shot

39:16

the witch, you and your adult, poor clone, adult

39:19

mind you've forgotten

39:19

that you caused. You instantly just start grabbing

39:22

gear out of your utility belt, throwing it into the party.

39:24

The pins of

39:26

grenades clattering to your feet as you throw one after

39:28

another, one after another at Beatle, who staggers

39:30

out of the door, turns and looks at you, mouths the word

39:33

why. As then the

39:35

automatic bolt head slams through protecting most

39:37

of you from the blast as a huge detonation

39:39

explodes in the corridor, annihilating

39:42

both of the clones that were there, but also

39:44

dear sweet Beatle, who is completely

39:46

evaporated and has lost his first clone. So the

39:49

two mutants are gone. Yes, but there is a worst case

39:51

as well because the only dose of ultra knocks

39:53

that any

39:54

of you had that you could use

39:56

to sedate somebody who was losing it and rampaging

39:58

it in the room is now. in the room with you

40:01

and they are continuing to feel very,

40:03

very gallant. So quickly strawberry.

40:05

So Tom had the ultra knocks and now

40:07

Tom's exploded. Well,

40:13

I also have a dose of ultra knocks that's

40:15

been secretly given to me, but I don't,

40:17

I don't have the way with all to actually shoot

40:19

it. Well, no, you've

40:21

done your action first. I

40:25

want to know how you two react.

40:27

You've just felt that a mutant has puppeteered

40:29

you to blast someone and then potentially

40:32

the same mutant has then puppeteered your poor

40:34

friend, Bofcon into throwing grenades

40:37

at beetle because both of you are for no reason

40:39

attacking your loyalty officer. Do we

40:41

know if someone's going cuckoo bananas

40:44

that it means that they've used mutant

40:46

powers?

40:47

Not in a moment of chaos like this. No, you can,

40:50

you know what? If we like talk to them like...

40:52

You want to check? So make them your brains and psychology check.

40:54

No, bumholes. Did you say bumholes? Yeah.

40:58

So I've got to do one

41:00

and then a negative

41:02

one. That's a neutral

41:04

and then computer. No, no,

41:06

no, no, two fails, which means

41:08

that you are now sure that both

41:10

of you are being controlled by a puppeteer and because

41:13

you know that everyone else is dead in the room, you suddenly realise

41:15

that the extra that Clancy

41:18

or you know, Firebrand's mutant powers. You realise

41:20

that Clancy must be a mutant in cahoots

41:22

with Sion because they are using the puppeteer

41:25

ability to make both of you

41:27

attack the loyalty officer. Now

41:30

as your leader, I understand that...

41:32

There are explosions everywhere, a bulk has clashed, I need a really

41:34

quick reaction from you otherwise it's going to go to Clancy.

41:37

Okay, I am going to

41:39

electrify her but not lethally, it's

41:41

my power gauntlets. You activate your power

41:43

gauntlets, hit the tactile switches and you race towards

41:47

Clancy. Can you roll for

41:48

me very quickly and he operates violence

41:50

this time, violence operator. Violence

41:52

operator? Great. Clancy,

41:54

how do you react? I am going to stab

41:56

him with some happiness juice. Okay,

41:59

we do you. One success. One

42:01

success? Can I try and do that as my defense?

42:03

Cause I can tell he seems very angry at me and I think

42:05

he would be less angry at me if he was very happy. Now

42:07

you just need to beat the amount of successes that were there.

42:10

So if you can get two successes or more, you will successfully

42:12

inject, who are you injecting with Cleroxam?

42:14

Chiroxam?

42:15

Him. All right, great.

42:17

What is my, sorry, what are I rolling for that? You're

42:19

going to roll, it's science.

42:22

Violent, no, it'll be violence and science. Violence,

42:24

silence, science. Violent

42:26

science. Ooh, just one little dice.

42:28

That's my roller derby name. A little bit of violent science.

42:31

You can re-roll it if you use some, spend some oxy. All

42:33

right. And you can get bonus dice.

42:36

Let's all go fucking crazy.

42:38

Don't mind if I do, you still want to be the last person

42:40

that's not crazy. Nope, let's try

42:43

one more time. Can I try again?

42:45

All right, but just don't get a gambler's attitude about it.

42:47

You're burning a lot of oxy very quickly.

42:49

Look, I've got a two out of six, this is one third

42:51

chance and this is my third chance. All right.

42:54

One. That guy.

42:56

All right, fumbling, fumbling with

42:58

her legs, waddling crazily. Clancy

43:00

tries, grabs into a pocket, tries to pull out a syringe

43:03

and at that moment gets punched in the face

43:05

by a full power of an electroshock, non-lethal

43:08

blast, firing you back, non-lethal is two.

43:10

You did one success actually, so you're, are you hurt already?

43:13

Yes. All right, now you're injured. As you stagger

43:15

back. Oh no, I'm injured already. All right, now you're maimed and

43:17

in fact, it hits, as soon as it hits you, he

43:19

hits you in the hip and

43:21

the mechanical exoskeleton

43:24

underneath your legs spasms, recoils

43:26

and flexes as electric current surges

43:29

through its dormant things and you kick forward,

43:31

kicking at the person that's attacking you

43:33

automatically, you stagger forward, you get hurt as well

43:35

and in all of this chaos, give the most

43:37

gallant of all of you, the figure

43:40

of buff corn. Can get another action

43:43

because nobody stopped you from losing it.

43:45

All right. What would be the next

43:47

most gallant thing to do, Hing? Oh, I've lost my mind, haven't

43:49

I? Well, I think, am I sane enough to realize

43:51

that the box is still here? No,

43:53

no, so now this supersedes all. I was gonna

43:55

say that, okay. As soon as you die

43:58

and you know, this could happen in.

43:59

depending on what you decide to do, that could happen at any moment,

44:02

you won't have any of this when

44:04

you come back with your client. Because what I was gonna say is the

44:06

most gallant thing is that I know that

44:09

we need to save all the mutants that are living

44:11

here. But I also know the

44:13

most gallant thing I can do right now is try and save

44:15

the mutants who are living here. Great, so if

44:18

you can manifest that in a way that is chaotic and doesn't

44:20

help the party, that just serves your chaos,

44:22

go for it. This actually gives Buffcon

44:24

a chance for one more action. What do you do? Well,

44:27

I think Buffcon has just lost all ability

44:30

to kind of keep all the secrets in because

44:32

he's lost his mind. So he's gonna out loud

44:34

say,

44:35

so he's gonna out loud articulate how

44:38

he can do the most gallant thing, which is try

44:40

and save all of the mutants in here.

44:43

He's

44:43

gonna say, How is he going to do

44:46

that? The thing is these mutant lives are what we're trying to

44:48

save. They

44:50

are being foiled by this box.

44:53

If I can destroy that box, then maybe we can save the mutants.

44:56

He's gonna find

44:59

the office where the box is hidden. Okay, the bulkhead

45:01

is receding now that it's protected you like an airbag

45:03

from the blast and an insane,

45:06

completely lost figure of Buffcon

45:10

starts lurching his way through

45:13

the corridor.

45:13

Who's standing by the way? Are you standing in the room? I'm injured,

45:15

but I can still follow him. You'll be going to action

45:18

in a second, but are you standing by the door, the window, or

45:20

the table? I

45:22

guess I was kicked back, so it's where- You're

45:24

back by the door. You're back by the window or the, sorry, the cabinet.

45:27

The cabinet. All right, which is good because nobody's

45:29

standing near the window and at that moment there's a pneumatic, and

45:32

suddenly the entire wall is demolished as

45:35

a capsule fired by a pneumatic gun from

45:37

several miles away fires what looks like

45:39

a canister into the room. The canister,

45:41

a little spiral opens up and gushing

45:44

amniotic

45:44

gel everywhere and a very, very

45:46

naked figure of beetle

45:48

clutching a cling-wrapped pack

45:51

with a red uniform staggers out. Right,

45:54

what the shit, guys? Ha

45:56

ha ha!

45:57

Now, as I've said, the figure of Buffcons are

45:59

already racing.

45:59

away and you can already hear alarm and some

46:02

slugs starting to be fired outside

46:05

as someone is going on a very personalized rampage

46:07

for the Benaman of all mutant kind just

46:10

a few doors away. You know what's crazy is the

46:12

reason I did all this was to prove to

46:14

those two guys that I was a mutant. Yeah,

46:16

exactly. In fact what's happened is I've somehow

46:18

proved that Clancy's a mutant and I killed

46:20

those two guys. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And

46:23

now you're on your own very specialized rampage. So

46:25

quickly. Now if we do not get him this is not going to look good for

46:27

me or for you. Bofcon is that

46:29

way. Let's go.

46:29

Yeah, let's hit it. All right.

46:32

You grab the two of you and you waddling trying to keep up with them with

46:34

you. Can I administer some med kit

46:37

on myself? Yeah, absolutely. Brains of science.

46:40

As every success is a level of healing to yourself.

46:42

So you're going to be a little bit behind them and also the waddling

46:44

around with these little legs. The two of you are racing

46:47

racing through and you race into a room

46:49

where you can see the figure of Bofcon

46:52

who is just throwing equipment

46:54

any sort of equipment that he has in his laser

46:56

packs, his ammo packs to mutants, crying

46:59

for them to defend themselves, hitting them in their heads,

47:02

hitting them as they sort of turn around some of them behind the bar

47:04

and they've kicked a table over and it's starting

47:06

to shoot

47:06

back at him. But miraculously every shot

47:09

so far has missed him as he started sort of tear

47:11

his jacket off and throw it over the bar at them

47:13

as well. You're saying that he's trying to save every mutant around here.

47:15

Yeah, but he is.

47:19

Yes. So we either have

47:21

to bring him in or help

47:23

him out. Okay.

47:26

So we're going to do one.

47:27

And I just shout relax,

47:29

which is a one word command.

47:32

All of you hear it. It comes through about three different levels

47:34

of harmonics. You feel it inside your soles and

47:36

in your backs and all of you for a second feel

47:38

nothing else to do except relax, relax,

47:41

relax. Let's do it. Do you think they might

47:43

prove themselves? Oh, should they roll

47:45

to see if they put themselves? I think so. It doesn't

47:47

say that on the card. I

47:48

appreciate my world building here. How many points of

47:50

Moxie are you using?

47:51

Well, okay. So just to be clear with

47:54

this, my, I have tone of command, which means I can project

47:56

my voice in a way that makes people obey a one word command.

47:58

You give them without thinking.

47:59

for a few seconds actually. That's right. So is there

48:02

any? Okay. You can use up to five

48:04

points and that will determine the strength. If you get

48:06

it too weak, it won't do anything. Then if you get it too

48:08

strong, there is a chance that one of them will shit

48:11

themselves. I would be in that moment, Tom. I would

48:13

be less relaxed. Yeah. Okay.

48:15

I'm going to do, I'm going to use two moxie points. All

48:17

right. Two moxie points. Don't get

48:19

three. Well, you can't get three successes, I guess. So try and

48:21

get a success. I

48:23

might just, I don't want to die. Moxie does kind

48:25

of sound like a laxative name. Does doesn't it?

48:29

You can use that. Do I do need a role for this

48:31

or is that just used? No, no, no. So the amount of points you

48:33

use is the chance. Do you want to use more

48:35

moxie points? Do you understand?

48:36

Because yeah, I'll do, I'll do two

48:39

more points. You get a success and the figure

48:41

of, um, all of

48:47

you sort of relax a little bit, but you sort

48:50

of keep marching forward, but no one relaxes quite as much

48:52

as the figure of boff con who suddenly stops

48:55

through and has a moment of lucidity where you realize

48:57

where you are semi naked, mostly without your equipment

49:00

in the middle of a room. Yeah, you're right. I don't

49:02

need to destroy this box. I just

49:04

need to give it to the friendly computer. Pop. And

49:06

then a shot goes through his head and he gets those

49:08

flying backwards as his jaw disconnects

49:10

and his body smashes against the wall. Bofcon

49:13

does because he's still under fire by all these

49:15

guys behind the bar. Bofcon is behind the

49:17

bar. The

49:17

room is full of mutants that were being, having

49:20

all of the equipment thrown at them by

49:22

Bofcon. Where is, um, firebrand

49:25

at the moment? It's a good question. Where is firebrand at the moment?

49:27

Firebrand is, uh,

49:30

I think he's like kind of paralyzed with indecision

49:33

here. A lot's happening. A lot's happening.

49:35

This is not the way he's in the back. I think he's trying

49:37

to inflict non-lethal damage

49:40

on the mutants. Right. So to

49:42

be really, really clear, you guys have broken through the

49:44

corridors. You found yourself in a sort of bar common area

49:46

of the zone, which is this

49:47

Sion safe house. There were about

49:50

three or four mutants in here and Bofcon

49:52

had burst through the door and started just throwing

49:54

equipment at them and they were returning fire when

49:56

he relaxed and then got shot in

49:58

the head. So.

49:59

the rest of you are in there and now that he's shot

50:02

there's a sudden ringing crack

50:03

and it stops the panic for a second

50:06

as the mutants creep

50:07

out over the bar and they go who

50:10

are you who is he what the

50:12

fuck's going on well

50:16

allow me to introduce myself my name

50:18

is Pikachu pika pika I

50:21

am a fellow mutant and I have brought you

50:23

the double

50:26

agent that you know as

50:29

Sykes he's in the other room

50:31

and

50:32

we are here to talk rebellion

50:34

and he looks

50:37

at you for a second Cox's eye and then he stands

50:39

up as more and more figure stand up you realize that you

50:41

are very much surrounded there are all measure

50:43

of strange mutants here you see some

50:45

with tentacles for hands one with two heads

50:48

strange lizard headed figures they look

50:50

at you

50:51

and try to make a decision for themselves if they

50:53

can believe you if it's true if their leader that

50:55

they believed was dead is back what

50:57

this might mean for the mutant what this might mean for the mission

51:00

and even if it's true why they were

51:02

only seconds ago rocketed by multiple

51:04

explosions when a half-naked operative

51:07

ran in and began throwing boots at them to

51:09

find out what they decide to do for the

51:11

glory of science the glory of mutant kind of the

51:13

glory of alpha complex tune into our second last

51:15

episode of paranoia

51:19

ba-ba-ba-ba-ba ba-ba-ba-ba-ba the

51:22

cast of this week's episode of okay computer is

51:25

Alex Lee Simon Greiner Michael Hing

51:27

and Tom Cardy a dungeon master and friend

51:29

computer is Dave Harlan the NPC voices

51:31

provided by Ben Jenkins and music provided

51:34

by Tom Cardy Shakira Khan is our producer

51:36

and the podcast is edited mix and mastered by

51:39

me Hugh Gest. Okay computer

51:41

is brought to you by contributors to the dragon friends patreon

51:44

who get early access to ad-free episodes as

51:46

well as other exclusive content for just five dollars

51:48

a month until

51:49

next time.

51:53

Here's the fact that's gonna blow your mind would you like to

51:55

know how many episodes of Mr. Bean like not

51:58

movies or anything like that exist?

52:00

Yeah, it's about nine. I was gonna

52:02

say I reckon it was four. It's

52:05

so few I

52:08

think it's one season of bean and then maybe a Christmas special

52:10

That weird BBC thing as well where they're like three

52:13

episodes and like that's a season they'll do Yeah So

52:15

like the one where he goes to the pool the one

52:17

where he goes to the fate and the one you know

52:19

Where he gets his car crushed by the tank. Mmm

52:22

the one where he goes to the life drawing class That's all the

52:24

same episode. I'm pretty sure

52:25

crazy Nothing,

52:28

but bang it's wall to wall. Yeah, it's an

52:30

obvious thing as well But I always forget the really

52:32

important contextualization thing of Mr. Bean that

52:34

it starts by explicitly saying that he's

52:36

an alien from outer space or an

52:39

angel sent down from heaven Yeah,

52:41

I think I got into a very long

52:43

Twitter argument about two years ago About

52:48

Somebody was like they don't make good

52:50

comedy sci-fi and I was being

52:52

a little I was being a real Ben Jenkins

52:55

Dinka and I was like well

52:58

actually mr. Bean is comedy sci-fi because he's

53:00

an alien and boy did that

53:02

set things up