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S5E20 - "Madam Ona’s Shoppe of Curiosities" - Drew Blood

S5E20 - "Madam Ona’s Shoppe of Curiosities" - Drew Blood

Released Saturday, 27th January 2024
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S5E20 - "Madam Ona’s Shoppe of Curiosities" - Drew Blood

S5E20 - "Madam Ona’s Shoppe of Curiosities" - Drew Blood

S5E20 - "Madam Ona’s Shoppe of Curiosities" - Drew Blood

S5E20 - "Madam Ona’s Shoppe of Curiosities" - Drew Blood

Saturday, 27th January 2024
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Episode Transcript

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that and much more. Listen

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to Mobituaries with Mo-Raka wherever

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you get your podcasts. Welcome

2:30

back, friend. I know what

2:33

y'all are thinking, and I'm sorry to report

2:35

that no, Billy Blanks has not agreed to

2:37

fight me as of yet. I

2:39

did do some research on the guy,

2:41

and apparently he's 68 years old now.

2:43

So I'll give you this, Billy. You

2:45

can have the first punch. How's that?

2:50

It's more than fair, Chester. And

2:52

I can't even do a split yet. But I'm

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getting there by God. The

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offer stands. Well, come

2:59

on in, friend. You didn't come

3:01

here to see me showboat. Yeah!

3:05

That's right. Mmm.

3:10

Alright, that's better. Friends,

3:12

smoke them if you've got them, and

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drink those glasses to the bottom, because

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old Drew Blood has a tell-to-tale. Oh,

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or stream. A bargain! And

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now, back to the show. we're

4:00

joined by our good friend

4:03

P.D. Williams, fan favorite and

4:05

somewhat-touched author of Darkhouse, many

4:08

rooms, and longtime guest on

4:10

your favorite podcast, pronounced P.D.

4:13

Williams. The thank

4:15

you Jeff, who

4:17

you can hear more from in numerous

4:19

past episodes. This one's

4:21

a case for entrepreneurial capitalism.

4:24

So without further delay I give you

4:27

from author P.D. Williams. Madamona's

4:30

Shop of Curiosities Blair's

4:39

Story God,

4:42

I can't take this anymore. Blair

4:45

sat up in bed, wrapping her arms

4:47

around her middle as if she were

4:50

keeping her insides from exploding through her

4:52

stomach. The pain was

4:54

worsening. Despite the

4:56

ultrasounds, lab work, x-rays, and

4:59

countless consultations, there had been

5:01

no conclusive diagnosis for her

5:03

searing abdominal pain. No

5:06

tumors, no tissue scarring,

5:08

no disease, no luck.

5:11

By her ninth second opinion, she had all

5:14

but given up hope of ever going back

5:16

to her life as it was. The

5:19

life before the sickness had ravaged her

5:21

world. The pain meds

5:23

were barely working anymore. Useless

5:26

pills, she thought. I

5:28

wonder how many

5:30

would it take? There'd

5:33

been a time in Blair's not so

5:35

distant past when the idea of ending

5:37

her life would have been unthinkable. Now

5:40

it felt like a reasonable option. An

5:43

escape plan. Enough.

5:46

This ends tonight, she

5:48

promised herself. First,

5:50

she somehow had to make it to the

5:52

medicine cabinet for the pills. It

5:55

might as well have been a hundred miles away.

5:58

The trip to the bathroom. Was merely intolerable

6:00

when she was having a good day.

6:03

But the know the thought of making

6:06

the journey bordered on the cruel and

6:08

terrified. One. mature. it.

6:11

Just one last try. To.

6:14

Do a deal for she thought.

6:17

Blair tried to make to trick

6:19

and manageable stages. First.

6:21

She needed to stand up. She

6:24

inhaled deeply and small your legs over the

6:26

says of the bed. The

6:29

discomfort was in as bad as she

6:31

feared. Next she

6:33

wrote forward a few times and

6:36

when ready, stood up. Com.

6:38

Lack July and. Blair

6:41

felt as though she had swallowed a dose

6:43

of latin and. Her. Joints

6:45

different. Tiers of

6:47

pain fell from retired as. She

6:51

to ensure snippets of their sir her

6:53

nostrils as if they could somehow the

6:55

loot the agony. After

6:58

a beard, the pain subsided enough

7:00

for her to continue Blair cry.

7:03

This economy bladed the most challenging

7:05

part of the journey. The.

7:07

Walk to the bathroom. Police.

7:11

Me test more streets. Just

7:14

a little more. Than

7:16

a new. Grandson

7:18

with the stab she is closer

7:21

toward the place where in her

7:23

salvation way. By.

7:26

The time blair get to the bathroom

7:28

she was exhausted. She.

7:30

Placed her hands on each side of

7:32

the seek. Braces yourself up. She.

7:35

Gasped when she looked in the mirror. The

7:38

fitton trim woman who used to way

7:41

I'll see one hundred and twenty pounds

7:43

was now and eighty pounds. Scarecrow. Her

7:46

skin solo and sag is seemed

7:49

too heavy for frame to bear.

7:52

Her. Bulging eyes look like to

7:54

grotesque or straight into break free

7:56

of their skill age. although

8:00

She grieved for the woman she once

8:02

was. She was too spent

8:04

to cry anymore. Blair

8:06

opened the medicine cabinet and looked at

8:08

the pharmacy that now inhabited it. She

8:12

spotted the hydromorphone and plucked it

8:14

from the stack of other medications

8:16

the doctors had prescribed. She

8:19

looked at the bottle as if it were a loaded

8:21

gun. Her resolve

8:23

began to wane. Just

8:25

like ripping off a band-aid, she

8:28

thought. Just do it quickly and

8:30

be done with it before you change your mind.

8:33

Blair popped a lid and she took four

8:36

tablets into her palm, twice

8:38

the normal dose. To be

8:40

safe, she added two more. She

8:42

filled one of the small plastic cups beside

8:45

the sink, threw the pills toward the back

8:47

of her throat, and took the full shot

8:49

of water. Blair

8:52

sat on the edge of the bathtub, waiting

8:54

for the pain to lessen enough for her

8:56

to return to bed. Within

8:59

minutes, she became lightheaded. Once

9:02

the pain ebbed, she got up and

9:04

plodded back to the place she hoped

9:06

would be her second-to-last resting spot. Blair

9:09

fell onto the mattress, closed

9:12

her weighty eyelids, and

9:14

waited for the lightness of death that

9:16

would allow her to drift away like

9:18

a wispy white feather. The

9:23

light pouring through Blair's bedroom window

9:26

the following morning covered her frail

9:28

body in a blanket of soft

9:30

gold. After

9:32

a few tries, her eyes opened and remained

9:34

so. Her mind

9:36

was fuzzy, her body limp and

9:38

heavy. As

9:40

she became lucid, she realized that she had

9:43

lived to see another day. Oh,

9:46

no, not again. She

9:48

moaned. Blair had

9:50

sat up and gotten out of bed

9:52

before she realized that her discomfort was

9:54

somewhat bearable. The

9:57

extra pills had served a useful purpose

9:59

after all. Men experience a daughter

10:01

that moments such as these were

10:03

short lived. Her. Thoughts taunted

10:05

her. I couldn't even catch

10:08

a break from suicide. Second

10:11

counts gonna have to be the charm.

10:14

A. Thirst. Let's make this

10:16

last. They feel normal. For.

10:18

A little while anyway. Blair

10:21

real as that. More than anything,

10:23

she wanted to be around people

10:25

again. She managed to

10:27

get showered and dress. When

10:30

she was ready she called a new breed

10:32

the take her to the downtown district. It

10:36

had been ages since he had

10:38

wandered the streets, shops and cafes.

10:41

Before. Leaving Blair down to couple

10:43

more hydromorphone tablets to take the

10:45

edge off. Making sure to

10:47

leave plenty for later. The

10:52

uber drop blair off in front of a

10:54

coffee shops used to frequent in the old

10:57

and better days. The. Uncomfortable

10:59

stairs from the customers as she

11:01

entered brought about a swirl of

11:03

embarrassment and sadness. Blair didn't need

11:05

a mirror to remind her of

11:08

her greens were the appearance. Their

11:10

expressions good deeper than any

11:12

crew reflection could. Blair

11:15

lived through a table at the back wall

11:17

of the cafe and eased into one of

11:20

it's soft added seats. Open

11:22

to escape any further scrutiny, she hid

11:24

behind the menu and waited for a

11:26

server to arrive. When

11:29

the server arrived, her reaction to

11:31

see him blair was awkward but

11:33

expected. Her. Clumsy attempt

11:35

to the peer into person it

11:37

struck. Blair is disingenuous and patronize.

11:39

I'm. Pushing. The

11:41

unintended offensive said she relaxed

11:43

and ordered something. She.

11:46

Played thing safe as good for a

11:48

small muffin and some tea. When.

11:51

Blair's order era of the Ah them

11:53

smelled wonderful and a very sad of

11:55

the i'm tiered her. however

11:57

the best she couldn't manage was have

11:59

them muffin and less of the warm

12:01

tea. Given

12:03

how much her stomach had shrunk, it

12:06

was enough to satisfy her. After

12:09

leaving the coffee shop, Blair walked

12:11

along the wide bustling sidewalk. Her

12:14

senses absorbed every sight, sound,

12:16

and smell. Despite

12:19

the busy life that was swirling

12:21

around her, she felt a melancholy tugging

12:23

at her soul. The

12:25

day's activities would be her last glimpse

12:28

of real life, a

12:30

life she had taken for granted. Blair

12:33

knew she was ill and had for a

12:35

while, but this was the

12:37

first time she felt like a ghost, a

12:40

stubborn soul that had not yet taken its

12:42

leave. She decided

12:44

to walk a few more blocks, then

12:46

go home and vanquish the pain for

12:48

good. Blair was

12:50

halfway down the third and final block

12:53

when she came to a store she

12:55

couldn't remember having ever seen before. It

12:58

was a small nondescript shop. Its

13:01

modest appearance was in conspicuous contrast

13:03

to the more modern, trendier stores.

13:07

Even its door looked out of date. It

13:10

was a simple affair, a

13:12

wood frame with a single large pane of

13:14

glass in the door's upper half. Stenciled

13:17

in old style calligraphy was the

13:20

shop's name, Madame

13:22

Onna's Shop of Curiosities.

13:25

Intrigued, Blair turned the door's knob

13:27

and entered. Blair

13:32

found a small bell over the door

13:34

quaint and musical as it announced her

13:36

arrival. Despite the

13:38

foot traffic just beyond its door, the

13:40

shop was empty of customers. Its

13:43

interior brought to Blair's mind the Norman

13:46

Rockwell painting of a small town general's

13:48

floor. The old ceiling

13:50

fans, combined with the rough hardwood

13:53

floors, created a worn rustic look.

13:56

The place was full of shelves and

13:58

glass display cases of Mr. mystical odds

14:00

and ends, jars of

14:03

colored powders, crystals, incense, and

14:05

old books. Blair

14:07

felt as if she had stumbled through a

14:09

mirrored doorway and into a magical lair. She

14:13

was so enthralled by the spiritual essence

14:15

of the place that the woman's voice

14:17

startled her. Welcome to

14:19

my store, said the woman.

14:21

I am

14:24

Madamona. I

14:26

apologize for having scared you.

14:29

Madamona spoke with an exotic

14:31

accent that Blair couldn't quite

14:33

place. The diminutive

14:35

woman was dressed in a loose

14:37

floral mumu. She was

14:40

middle-aged with piercing blue eyes. Her

14:43

unkempt mane of bushy white hair

14:45

was so bright that Blair squinted

14:47

at first. Despite

14:49

the woman's small stature, her

14:51

presence was intimidating. Is that

14:54

so right? Blair said in response

14:56

to the woman's apology. I

14:59

was enjoying your store so much that I didn't notice

15:01

you were there. My, you

15:03

have a lot of interesting things here. Madamona's

15:06

head swiveled as if she was viewing

15:09

the setting for the first time. Yes,

15:13

she said. A lot

15:15

of interesting things. Her

15:18

eyes locked with blares. Something

15:21

brings you here today. A

15:25

worry? A need?

15:28

Ah, that's it. A

15:31

need. Her

15:33

eyes closed and she tilted her head

15:35

to one side as if she was

15:37

receiving an important message from some mystical

15:39

force far away. It is

15:42

deep. It is

15:44

a good pain that modern

15:46

practices cannot debate, yes? That's

15:51

right, Blair muttered. The

15:54

woman's intuition both impressed and unnerved

15:56

her, as if

15:58

sensing Blair's apprehension and Madame on

16:00

his ominous demeanor changed to a

16:02

gentle patience. "'Fear not,

16:05

child. I can help

16:07

you,' she said. Her gaze

16:10

settled on an item resting on the

16:12

top shelf to Blair's left. It

16:15

was a tiny glass bottle, not

16:17

much larger than a shot glass, that had

16:19

a cork feel. There

16:21

was no label of any kind

16:24

to identify the single ingredient, a

16:26

black, white speckled capsule. "'That

16:29

bottle there,' Madame

16:32

on the said pointed. "'Pick

16:35

it up,' she said

16:37

it as if she were a teacher coaxing

16:39

a student into plucking a flower to examine.

16:42

Blair pinched a curious remedy between her

16:45

thumb and index finger and studied it.

16:48

"'What is it? What's

16:50

inside that bottle will

16:53

devour all your pain?

16:56

That is your need.' "'Your

17:00

desire, yes?' Blair

17:03

was torn between trusting Madame Onna

17:05

and avoiding being deceived. Such

17:08

an act seemed cruel and self-serving.

17:11

After all, she had a full bottle of

17:13

cure waiting at home in her medicine cabinet.

17:16

Why should the woman profit from her

17:18

misery? As far as

17:20

Blair was concerned, Madame Onna was offering

17:23

her little more than snake oil. But

17:26

Blair's anguish was forcing her hand.

17:29

She wanted so badly to believe that

17:31

there was hope for herself that she

17:33

pushed aside her suspicions and

17:35

allowed herself to be vulnerable. "'Please

17:38

don't hold out false hope to

17:40

me,' Blair begged. "'This

17:42

is my last attempt before I end

17:45

this hell myself. So

17:47

please, please don't take this lightly.

17:50

I'm a human being and I'm

17:53

desperate.' Madame

17:55

Onna smiled at Blair as a mother

17:57

would behold her splendid child. I

18:00

know, I know young

18:03

one. Your

18:05

clear and logical mind is

18:07

saying, Oh

18:10

crazy lady, look

18:12

at all her shrunken

18:14

heads, potions and crystals.

18:18

But then there's that part of

18:21

you that wants, needs

18:23

to know that magic exists.

18:27

She pointed at the bottle that Blair was

18:29

clutching. That item

18:31

can erase the agony that

18:33

the so-called specialist's blade

18:36

could never be healed.

18:39

The choice of course is

18:41

yours. But ask

18:44

yourself, after all

18:47

the medicines that have been given

18:49

to me, do

18:51

I feel better or

18:53

worse? Yes. Madamona

18:55

let the question hover for a bit.

18:58

Yes, I said that the

19:01

season is yours. Either

19:04

way, thank you for

19:06

coming in. And

19:09

be sure to tell a friend.

19:12

Then she turned and walked away. Wait,

19:16

Blair called. Madamona

19:19

stopped. Without turning

19:21

around, she asked. Yes.

19:24

How much? Madamona

19:27

turned and joined Blair. Nothing

19:31

now, she said. But

19:34

when the cure has done its

19:37

work, call me and

19:40

I will come to you. Then

19:43

discuss the payment then.

19:46

Blair's wariness returned. So

19:50

you don't want me to pay for this today?

19:52

She asked. I

19:55

can just take it and go. How do

19:57

you know I won't cheat you? None

20:00

ever have. I'm

20:03

sure you won't either." Madamona

20:07

reached into one of her pockets and

20:09

retrieved a small card and handed it

20:11

to Blair. When

20:13

Blair tried to take the card from her,

20:16

she held onto its edge tightly. In

20:19

a somber tone she said, Listen

20:22

child, you

20:24

must be patient. You

20:27

need to get the remedy enough

20:30

time to do its magic. A

20:33

few weeks and none less.

20:37

I promise I won't betray your

20:39

trust, Blair said. I'm

20:42

sure you won't, child. Now

20:45

go. Take it. And

20:48

I will wait for your call.

20:52

Going to the front door, it occurred to

20:55

Blair to ask an important question she had

20:57

not thought of before. Stopping,

20:59

she said. Excuse me,

21:01

ma'am. Should I be concerned

21:03

about any side effects? Once

21:07

you take it, you'll experience

21:09

some tiredness. And

21:12

your appetite will increase. Anything

21:16

else? No.

21:18

Thank you for a... Madamona

21:20

was already walking to the back

21:23

room, leaving Blair alone

21:25

with her miracle cure. Blair

21:29

didn't want to wait until she got

21:31

home before taking the capsule. Though

21:34

she returned to the cafe she had

21:36

visited earlier, she ordered

21:38

a cup of coffee and then called for an

21:40

Uber. She took the

21:42

small bottle from her purse and laid it on the

21:44

table in front of her. She

21:47

stared at it, wondering if it would help

21:49

her if only a bit. Anything's

21:52

better than nothing, she thought.

21:55

When her coffee arrived, Blair removed the capsule

21:57

from the bottle and swallowed it. it

22:00

with a swig of coffee. The

22:02

hot liquid angered her insides. That's

22:06

enough of that, she

22:08

thought, setting the coffee aside. Thankfully,

22:11

by the time the Uber arrived,

22:13

the burning had subsided. Blair

22:16

hopped into the car and headed straight

22:18

home, eager to see what would unfold.

22:24

The cloak of twilight painted Blair's

22:26

apartment with a bluish tinge. She

22:30

lay curled up in an oversized leather

22:32

chair beside the living room window, reading.

22:35

The growl from her stomach reminded her

22:38

she had eaten nothing since earlier. She

22:41

closed the book and set about making dinner.

22:44

Blair went to the kitchen, found a small

22:46

pot, and set it on the stove. Then

22:49

she opened the cupboard and twirled the lazy

22:52

Susan until she found a can of tomato

22:54

soup. Soft foods and

22:56

liquids were all she could tolerate. She

22:59

remembered the woman's promise that her appetite

23:01

would improve. I'd

23:04

give everything I owned for a

23:06

single slice of pepperoni and pineapple

23:08

pizza, she thought. Once

23:11

Blair had heated the soup to a

23:13

moderately warm temperature, she emptied it into

23:15

a bowl, and grabbed a spoon. She

23:19

sat down at the table and worked up the

23:21

courage to eat. With

23:23

hesitation, she spooned some of the soup

23:25

into her mouth. Blair

23:27

braced herself for the first wave of

23:29

suffering. But to her

23:32

pleasure and amazement, the tepid

23:34

liquid made its way painlessly to her

23:36

stomach. She

23:38

ate a couple more spoonfuls, again

23:41

no burning sensation. Relieved

23:43

by the kindness of her stomach, she

23:45

gulped down the rest of the soup.

23:49

Oh my gosh, it worked, she

23:51

said. She briefly considered

23:54

rushing back to Matamona's store and giving

23:56

the woman a big hug, but first

23:58

her stomach was screaming. for another bowl

24:00

of soup. Later

24:03

that evening, Blair stood before her

24:05

medicine cabinet, the site she

24:07

had planned for her suicide. She

24:10

unscrewed the lid of the hydromorphone and

24:12

shook a couple into her hand. She

24:15

was about to take them but paused as

24:17

she noticed the absence of any pain, not

24:20

even a slight twinge. Blair

24:23

smiled as she recalled it had only

24:25

been that morning when she had planned

24:27

to swallow the entire bottle of painkillers.

24:30

Now she was content to skip a dose.

24:33

She returned the medicine to the cabinet and

24:35

went to bed. For the

24:37

first time in months, she didn't need to

24:39

be drugged out of her mind to fall

24:41

asleep. A

24:46

strong grumbling in her belly awoke Blair in

24:48

the middle of the night. Typically,

24:50

it would have been a twist in pain she

24:52

had to deal with. Now it

24:55

was a deep hunger. The

24:57

welcome return of her appetite filled her

24:59

with joy and gratitude. She

25:02

climbed out of bed and headed to the kitchen

25:04

to appease it. Blair

25:06

had a craving for something more filling

25:08

than soup or jello. Although

25:11

thrilled to get her appetite back, she

25:13

couldn't wrap her head around the strength

25:15

of her gnawing hunger. She

25:18

kept little in the way of solid food,

25:20

so she ended up placing a large order

25:23

from an all-night diner. As

25:25

she waited for the delivery person,

25:27

she walked around her apartment, cramming

25:29

saltines into her mouth and guzzling

25:31

water. By the

25:33

time the two turkey subs with

25:35

fries arrived, she'd consumed a half

25:37

a dozen individual servings of puddin',

25:40

two cans of soup, and

25:42

nearly a gallon of water. When

25:44

the food was gone, Blair returned to bed.

25:47

Despite having slept for many hours

25:50

before her binge, Blair felt baffled

25:52

by how exhausted she was. She

25:55

Slept for another 15 hours. When.

26:01

Blair finally awake and it

26:03

was late afternoon. Despite.

26:05

The extraordinary amount of sleep

26:07

she was still dog tired.

26:09

The only activity she felt

26:11

any energy toward was eaten.

26:14

She. Shuffled around the kitchen in search

26:16

of something to consume, but found nothing.

26:20

She. Grabbed the quick shower and headed

26:22

for the supermarket. Blair

26:24

went crazy at the store. She bus

26:26

so many groceries that she paid uber

26:28

driver an extra ten dollars to help

26:30

her, told them up to her apartment.

26:33

Before Blair could put them away, her

26:36

stomach mack and again. An

26:38

excessive amount of cookies so does

26:40

have thick sandwiches. Eventually say that

26:43

her appetite. Then

26:45

the drowsiness returned. She

26:47

slipped for seventeen hours. The

26:52

cycle continued for another two

26:54

weeks. But. Then Blair had

26:57

gained forty seven pounds and was sleep

26:59

and twenty hours each. Not. Or

27:02

desire to eat was relentless. She.

27:04

Considered going back to her doctor but remember the

27:07

hell little he had been able to help her.

27:09

thinking. of reaching out the mayor

27:12

the she remembered the adverse. Allow

27:14

a few weeks for the remedy to

27:16

work. Within

27:19

days, Blair had gained an

27:21

additional fifteen pounds. She.

27:24

Hadn't bathed in over a week. Perform.

27:26

Physical appearance used at Fred Meyer

27:28

but our current state shocked her

27:31

more. As Blair

27:33

stood on the bathroom scale, looking

27:35

down at the escalate numbers, she

27:37

became concerned. It's

27:39

too far. She saw snow

27:42

headed to foreign the other

27:44

direction. Sweaty.

27:46

And dizzy blair stumble to the bathroom

27:48

sink and turned on the cold water.

27:51

She. Cooked dinner though he hands and splashed

27:54

and on her face. Vinci

27:56

ran her fingers to her own was tear.

27:59

The. They'll take a male startled her.

28:02

Oh God. What's wrong with

28:05

me? The

28:07

springs early blair still crave

28:09

food. As quickly as

28:11

or bloated body allowed, she was able

28:13

to the kitchen and eight for almost

28:16

an hour. After. Gorging

28:18

on everything that was left Blair

28:20

blocked on the living room sofa.

28:23

Suddenly. It said like sumptuous

28:25

latin around and says her. In.

28:27

The Just is. She.

28:29

Lifted her shirt and looked at her

28:31

abdomen. A small

28:33

mob pushed outward. Blair

28:36

felt nauseous and afraid. She.

28:39

Touched the protrusion with their fingertips

28:41

and it receded. She

28:43

began patton like a cornered animal

28:45

as she felt the mass moving

28:47

up toward her chest cavity, making

28:49

her scream. Blood dripped

28:51

from her nose while some ran down

28:53

their throat, leaving the coppery taste on

28:55

the back of her tone. For.

28:58

Man began were and women

29:00

do to meet some common

29:02

or rare now. Blair

29:05

staggered to the bedroom.

29:07

Where he is it.

29:10

Where is it? She.

29:12

Dumped the contents of a person to

29:15

the beer and push the album's around

29:17

until she found her phone and madam

29:19

owners cord. She cold

29:21

and waited. Someone.

29:23

Answered on the third ring but the

29:25

her it felt like many more. Medals

29:28

owners shut the studio city.

29:31

it's. Much easier

29:33

just. Blair. Recognize

29:35

the woman's be girl and voice

29:38

panicked she said yes. Hillary and

29:40

Bill Remember me at visited your

29:42

shop a short while back You

29:45

help me A remedy for electronics

29:47

Direct Ties. Is a

29:50

stand. I mean that

29:52

you've added. Madam.

29:54

Own as sounded Please does this you were

29:56

here and from an old friend. Sally's.

30:01

Are you eating and sleeping then?

30:04

The zip pain. Tell me

30:07

of the zip pain. Is

30:09

it gone?" Blair was

30:11

shivering. "'Yes, the pain's

30:13

gone, but I'm experiencing some

30:15

serious side effects. I

30:17

sleep for hours on end and I can't

30:19

stop eating. I don't

30:22

recognize myself anymore. Now my

30:24

hair's falling out and I'm pretty sure

30:26

I'm hemorrhaging. I'm scared

30:28

to death.'" "'Just as

30:30

I told you, there would

30:33

be side effects. Are

30:36

you experiencing any other

30:38

symptoms?'" "'Yes,

30:41

something is moving around inside me. You

30:44

didn't say anything about that. Am

30:46

I going to die? Do I

30:48

need a doctor?'" Madamona

30:50

tittered, then in a reassuring

30:52

tone, said, "'You are

30:55

not going to die, child.

30:58

The Cremity has merely done its

31:00

job. There's

31:02

only one less debt, and

31:05

then you will return to

31:07

normal. No

31:09

more worries now. There's

31:12

only one less debt, and

31:15

then you will return to normal.

31:19

No more worries now.'" Her

31:22

sincerity soothed Blair. "'Thank

31:25

you,' Blair said. "'I'm

31:28

just eager for this to be over.'" "'And

31:31

soon it will be,' Madamona

31:34

said. "'But before

31:37

I come, I need to

31:39

know that you will honor

31:41

your part of the bargain.

31:44

You must pay me.'" "'Of

31:47

course,' Blair said. "'How

31:50

much do you want?'" "'One

31:53

thousand dollars.'" The

31:56

press stunned Blair. "'Oh,

31:58

listen. I don't want to...' seem

32:00

ungrateful but that sounds

32:02

a little steep for a single dose of

32:04

medicine. No,

32:06

no, the remedy is

32:08

free. The charge

32:11

is for the removal. Blair

32:15

was confused. Removal?

32:18

Why removal? Why

32:21

wasn't that capsule? Oh,

32:24

my child. It was

32:27

no capsule. t

32:30

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35:00

the lights, and if you

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dare, your night

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is about to get a whole lot

35:08

darker. Broderick's

35:29

Story There

35:33

lurks within each of us, a

35:35

haunted house inhabited by the ghosts

35:37

of our worst mistakes. Broderick

35:40

O'Connor was no exception. Broderick

35:43

was an asshat, plain and simple. He

35:46

was all sunshine and bunnies as long as

35:49

everything went his way. He

35:51

were either the love of his life,

35:53

his bestest bud, or a job that

35:55

was enjoyable and satisfying. That

35:58

is until you crossed the line. Oh

36:01

yeah, that line. Once

36:04

you crossed it, there was no chance of going

36:06

back. You were

36:09

now excommunicated, dumped, despised, scorned,

36:11

or in extreme cases, dead

36:13

to him. Ex-friends,

36:16

jilted lovers, forsaken

36:18

parents, and unfortunate

36:20

food servers littered the desolate highway

36:23

of his icy heart. When

36:25

it came to women, Broderick found

36:28

attraction in those who possessed beauty,

36:30

intelligence, and emotional dependence. He

36:33

viewed them as drinks he could pull from

36:35

the fridge any time he was thirsty for

36:37

a particular flavor. It

36:40

was any one, any time,

36:42

any where, for tall, handsome

36:44

Broderick. God, life was

36:46

good. Then came

36:49

Lila, his first genuine love.

36:52

She was a different scenario altogether.

36:55

She was sharp-witted, pleasant, and

36:57

self-aware, qualities that

36:59

Broderick lacked. Her

37:01

attraction to him mystified her friends and

37:04

family, perhaps herself a bit

37:06

as well. I can't

37:08

help myself, she often told

37:10

herself. There's just something about

37:12

that jerk I can't turn away from. Still,

37:15

Lila had the pick of the lovesick

37:17

man-puppies who followed her around with their

37:20

tongues hanging out, hoping to catch her

37:22

notice. This

37:24

only made Broderick more determined to woo

37:26

her, to have her, control

37:29

her. Although he

37:31

had plucked others with ease, Lila's roots

37:33

went deep. She was hip

37:35

to his jive, and she let him know it. Broderick

37:39

realized, perhaps for the first time, that

37:41

he had become the clingy lover. But

37:45

he was okay with that. He

37:47

reasoned that at some point, all

37:49

wild stallions got corralled. Now

37:52

was clearly his time. However,

37:55

as in many relationships, needs

37:57

and wants change. Two

38:00

relatively blissful Hallmark movie past

38:02

the Kleenex years together, Lila

38:05

made her new needs known. She

38:08

wanted to get married and soon. Broderick

38:10

did not want her to. Lila

38:13

never misled Broderick and had been communicating

38:15

to him for months that she had

38:18

downgraded her once stormy passion for him

38:20

to a localized let's be friends drizzle.

38:23

It never crossed Broderick's mind that she

38:25

would tire of his temper tantrums and

38:28

selfishness, but boy did he

38:30

get his mind around reality when she

38:32

packed up, kissed his cheek and wished

38:34

him well. Broderick

38:36

moped for weeks. It didn't

38:39

help that on the few occasions he

38:41

dragged himself out of his lonely cluttered

38:43

apartment he would run into Lila and

38:45

her fiancé Ted. If

38:48

Broderick went to a movie they were there.

38:51

To a bar? There. At

38:53

a concert? Four seats down

38:55

on the left. Hell,

38:58

Broderick thought. If

39:00

I moved to the middle of the Gobi

39:02

Desert they'd come by on a flowery float

39:04

with the USC marching band out front

39:06

passing wind to the tune of living

39:09

La Vida Loca. Broderick's

39:12

emotional stability vacillated. He

39:14

hated her. He loved her. No,

39:17

wait, he hated her and wished her

39:19

butt would break off. Yet

39:21

he desired her. He needed her.

39:25

During one of his brief moments of

39:27

introspection, Broderick pummeled himself with the truth.

39:30

I was a complete tool. It's

39:33

time to take yourself in hand and admit you

39:35

were a jerk. She

39:37

was always given and you were always

39:40

taken and asking for a receipt. Sorry,

39:43

dog. This one's all on you.

39:46

Every time Broderick called to

39:48

apologize, Lila accepted the apology.

39:52

Each time he called and begged for

39:54

another opportunity, she asked him to be

39:56

happy for her and move on. threats

40:00

at her, Ted had a few threats of

40:02

his own. And so,

40:05

Broderick lived alone, unloved,

40:07

unwashed, unshaven, and unhappy.

40:10

Except for work, he rarely left the

40:13

apartment. However, that changed

40:15

one mild sunny Sunday when he

40:17

talked himself into venturing outdoors. Broderick

40:23

called an Uber and went for a ride

40:25

that had no set destination. When

40:28

he was tired of riding, he paid

40:30

the driver, got out, and started walking.

40:33

During his long and aimless trek,

40:35

Broderick made only three stops. The

40:38

first one was to eat a hot meal

40:40

at a downtown cafe. The

40:42

second stop was to check out his reflection

40:44

in a large shop window. Sure,

40:47

he was full of angst, but OMG,

40:49

did he still look hot or what?

40:52

The last stop was either impulse

40:54

or destiny. He couldn't be

40:56

sure which, and he didn't much care. Tucked

40:59

between two downtown businesses was

41:02

a small, unremarkable shop. Its

41:05

outdated appearance suited a small

41:07

town better than bustling Boston.

41:09

There was a stenciled sign on

41:11

the door that read, Madamona's Shop

41:14

of Curiosities. You gotta

41:16

love the originality, Broderick thought.

41:19

He was about to give the store a

41:21

hard pass when he felt an unseen force.

41:24

Was it fascination? Drawing him

41:26

toward it, Broderick paused,

41:28

staring at the door, deciding if

41:30

he should enter. What

41:32

else do I have to do today? He

41:35

thought. With his decision

41:37

made, he entered the odd shop.

41:40

A small delicate bell over the

41:43

door deemed annoying him. Broderick

41:46

sauntered through the front of the store,

41:48

taking in the atmosphere, wondering,

41:51

what the hell kind of crap is this? The

41:55

simple down-home appearance of the store,

41:57

along with its odd collections of

41:59

bottled powders, trinkets, and potions

42:01

struck him as hokey. A

42:04

sweet smell of strawberry incense permeated

42:06

the air. Aside from

42:08

him, the place was empty, making

42:11

him uneasy. Still, his

42:13

curiosity led him to venture further

42:15

into the mysterious store. Caught

42:18

up in the shop's entry, Broderick

42:20

moved from aisle to aisle, inspecting

42:22

the various items for sale. The

42:25

only sound was his feet tapping

42:28

against a wooden floor like the

42:30

slow clippity-clop of a horse's hooves

42:32

on cobblestone. The

42:34

silence of the store deepened until,

42:36

"'How may I serve you

42:39

today?' the unexpected

42:41

voice asked, startling Broderick.

42:44

"'Whoa!' Broderick snapped. "'I

42:47

almost made mud in my shorts!' "'I

42:50

apologize for startling you,'

42:53

the small thin woman with bright white

42:55

hair said. "'I

42:58

am the proprietor, Madame

43:01

Ona.' "'Congratulations,'

43:04

Broderick said, catching his breath. He

43:08

poked some items with his index finger,

43:10

assessing their interest. "'You've

43:13

got a lot of unusual stuff here.' "'Yes,

43:16

a lot of unusual

43:19

things. Perhaps

43:22

I possess something you

43:24

desire. "'I

43:26

need.' Broderick

43:28

continued picking through the merchandise with

43:31

lazy attention, as though he

43:33

hadn't heard her. Then,

43:35

after a moment, said, "'Lady, I

43:37

don't see anything I want, much

43:40

less need.' The

43:42

mysterious woman scowled, her

43:45

eyes a hard, steely blue. "'Really?

43:49

I'll be the judge of that.'

43:54

The six-size widened as the diminutive

43:56

woman quickly closed the distance between

43:58

them. He

44:01

mumbled. Once

44:03

Madam Hona was face to face

44:05

with Broderick, her ominous demeanor diminished

44:07

and she became a sales clerk

44:09

again. She looked at

44:11

an item on the middle shelf to Broderick's

44:13

right. It was a

44:15

grayish colored stone, roughly the size and

44:17

shape of a spearhead, cushioned

44:20

on a bed of black satin cloth.

44:23

The object looked old but clean. It

44:26

bore an unusual symbol. An

44:28

oval at the top connected to a

44:31

jagged line running to the bottom, with

44:33

a short arrow jutting out near the

44:35

end like a kickstand. Pick

44:38

it up, Madam Hona said.

44:41

This, Broderick asked, pointing to

44:43

the stone. Yes,

44:45

that one. Why

44:48

this one? I

44:50

sense you have a need.

44:54

This item could be helpful.

44:58

Be careful when you touch it.

45:02

Broderick inced his hand toward the stone as

45:04

if it were a snake he was attempting

45:06

to grab without being bitten. Boo,

45:10

Madam Hona shouted. Broderick

45:12

again thought he might require some absorbent

45:14

underwear. Just kidding.

45:19

Madam Hona said with a hearty laugh.

45:23

Seriously, though, pick

45:26

it up and look at it.

45:30

Broderick, more irritated than amused, relaxed

45:32

and took the stone. Although

45:35

it was small, it had a dense and heavy

45:38

feel, measuring only four or

45:40

five inches in length and a couple

45:42

of inches at its widest point. Okay,

45:44

now what? Broderick asked,

45:47

with weak interest. Look

45:49

at the symbol, Madam

45:52

Hona said. Feel

45:54

the weight of the stone

45:56

in your hand. Broderick,

45:59

please. briefly tossed the piece from hand

46:01

to hand. So, what

46:03

is it? A

46:05

talisman, she answered.

46:08

What's it go for? He said as

46:10

he continued playing with the piece. Ten

46:14

thousand dollars. What?

46:17

Broderick screeched in surprise, losing his

46:19

grip on the stone. He

46:22

resembled a man trying to hang onto

46:24

a flopping fish as he hilariously attempted

46:26

to grab it. Recovering

46:29

his grip on the talisman, he asked.

46:32

Why in the heck would you have a ten

46:34

thousand dollar item just sitting out here like this?

46:37

Easy, easy, easy, easy, easy, easy, easy, easy, easy, easy,

46:40

easy, easy. Madamona said in a calm, measured

46:42

tone. I wouldn't.

46:46

It's not for the actual

46:48

price. As

46:50

Madamona chuckled again at his

46:52

expense, Broderick's facial expression conveyed

46:54

a tandem of relief and

46:56

hostility. After enjoying

46:59

her cruel trick, Madamona became serious

47:01

again. As I

47:03

said, I suspect

47:05

it is a need that

47:07

brought you here today. Nah,

47:11

I'm pretty sure it was boredom and

47:13

an Uber, Broderick said in a sarcastic

47:15

tone. I guess

47:17

it's your turn to make

47:19

jokes, Madamona said

47:21

good-naturedly. That's fair. Now let's return to

47:23

our initial discussion. I think you are a person burdened

47:26

with guilt and regret. Ziggin,

47:37

when you should have zigged.

47:41

Sayin' no when you should have

47:43

said yes. Or

47:45

sayin' yes when you

47:47

should have said no. Your

47:51

ego has brought about the

47:54

failure of all your meaningful

47:56

relationships. Like

47:58

countless... other

48:00

shit and spirits, you

48:03

long to rewind time

48:05

and make different choices with

48:08

the knowledge that you possess

48:10

today." As

48:13

his smarmy veneer melted away, Broderick

48:15

felt the shame of a man

48:18

who had been caught red-handed and

48:20

who must now accept judgment. That's

48:23

right, he whispered. He

48:26

realized that the intuitive woman wasn't

48:29

prepared to buy any of the

48:31

BS he regularly sold at rock-bottom

48:33

prices in volume, volume, volume. Stepping

48:37

closer, Madame Monne said in

48:39

a conspiratorial voice, What

48:42

if I told you there is

48:44

a way to fix something you

48:47

broke? Would

48:49

you grab that chance? Your

48:53

clear logical mind may

48:55

think I'm crazy lady

48:57

with crystals, potions and

48:59

shrunken heads who believes

49:01

in magic. But

49:04

what if time and space

49:07

were nothing more than a

49:09

human construct? Eh?

49:12

Men's zane and futile attempt

49:15

to bring order to chaos.

49:19

And what if I

49:21

told you that there

49:23

are some things that

49:25

exist beyond our mortal

49:27

boundaries? Go

49:30

on, Broderick said. That

49:33

object in your hand is

49:36

a key to the door

49:38

that opens up to that

49:40

plane, Madame Monne said.

49:43

The people who have used

49:46

the talisman have suffered about

49:48

the same number of regrets

49:50

as anyone else. But

49:53

for them, there was always

49:56

the one wound that refused

49:58

to heal. They

50:01

felt no obligation to fix

50:03

the world, nor

50:06

did they possess the ability to

50:08

do so. Their

50:11

needs were personal, painful.

50:14

They wanted

50:17

to return and make

50:19

a better investment to

50:21

prevent their family's bankruptcy.

50:25

They wanted to save their

50:27

brother from suicide, or step

50:30

to their left instead of their

50:33

right to avoid tripping an LED.

50:37

Once the talism served this

50:40

purpose, they brought it back

50:43

and went on with their

50:45

happier lives. Brother

50:48

clung fiercely to the reality he

50:50

believed in. Are

50:52

you trying to play me? Play

50:55

you? No.

50:59

I'm attempting to offer you

51:01

a different past for a

51:04

different future. A

51:06

new trajectory if you will.

51:10

Oh, I see. And this

51:12

wonderful opportunity costs how much? Oh,

51:15

if I act now, will you send me

51:17

a second stone at half price? It

51:20

will cost you nothing.

51:23

Madamona replied. Nothing,

51:26

Broderick asked suspiciously. That's

51:29

right. There. Nothing

51:33

at first. Oh,

51:35

here we go. Broderick said,

51:37

rolling his eyes, mocking her. Hear

51:40

me out, Madamona said.

51:44

I'll let you borrow the

51:46

talisman and try it out

51:48

for a few days, free

51:50

of charge. But

51:53

first, you must

51:55

mister how to skillfully and

51:57

safely use it. For

52:00

that, I'll send you on

52:02

a trial run. Think

52:05

of a time that might

52:07

be fun to experience. A

52:10

moment from your early childhood.

52:13

Your first kiss. Or

52:16

an important moment in history.

52:20

Interact with the past

52:22

but change nothing yet.

52:25

A benign visit will teach

52:27

you how to be gentle

52:29

with the talisman until you

52:32

learn to control its power.

52:35

Only then will you be

52:37

competent enough to make the

52:39

changes you've earned. You

52:42

said the others who tested the talisman brought

52:45

it back. What happens

52:47

if I don't? Broderick asked. This

52:50

stone works its own type

52:52

of magic. Madam Mona

52:55

said. It

52:57

always finds its way home.

53:00

Spooky. Alright, how does

53:02

it work? First, you

53:05

must tell me your name.

53:08

Broderick O'Connor. Broderick

53:11

O'Connor. I

53:14

need you to listen

53:16

very, very carefully. You

53:19

must follow my instructions to

53:22

the letter. Hold

53:25

the talisman tightly between your

53:27

hands and close your eyes.

53:31

Clutching the stone, Broderick strained his

53:33

eyes and a tight squint. As

53:36

he listened to Madam Mona continue her

53:38

instructions, he noticed her

53:40

voice sounded lighter and more distant, as

53:43

though his mind was hearing the words

53:45

rather than his ears. As

53:48

you feel yourself going

53:50

further into a relaxed

53:52

state, she whispered,

53:55

imagine the period you

53:58

want to return to. When

54:01

you experience sounds, tastes

54:04

and smells from that

54:06

location and time, open

54:08

your eyes and

54:12

you will be there. Make

54:15

the most of your visit

54:17

because the talisman will not

54:19

allow you to return to

54:21

that event. It's

54:24

a one and done proposition.

54:28

Lastly, ensure the

54:30

talisman is protected.

54:33

Perhaps by placing it in

54:36

a pocket to avoid losing

54:38

it. Then

54:40

her voice shifted to a somber tone.

54:43

Now Mr. Connor, you

54:46

have to focus here because

54:49

this part is the most

54:52

critical. Do

54:54

not remain anywhere for

54:56

too long. Ten

54:59

minutes at the most. To

55:03

return, have the

55:05

talisman firmly clutched again

55:07

between your hands. It

55:10

can't be in your pocket or

55:12

in one hand. If

55:15

you don't perfectly repeat

55:17

the ritual, you

55:20

will be a prisoner of that

55:22

moment. Condemned to

55:24

an eternity where you play

55:26

out the same scene over

55:29

and over again. A

55:32

world without end, amen.

55:37

Once you're satisfied with the

55:39

stones of intensity, bring

55:42

it back to me. If

55:45

you wish to buy it,

55:47

we will negotiate a fair

55:49

exchange. could

56:00

change and become the man she yearned

56:02

for was his immediate thought. "'But

56:04

what if I goof up? I can't

56:07

go back and try again,' he

56:09

worried. "'Or could I?'

56:13

Broderick turned his attention to completing the

56:15

test run. He

56:17

took a couple of beats and said,

56:19

"'I'm ready.' "'Then

56:21

begin,' Madamona said.

56:25

He later contemplated time travel into

56:28

the 1980s, a decade

56:30

of eclectic fashion and the birth of

56:32

music videos. However,

56:34

he recollected that the 80s

56:36

were also marked by undeniable

56:38

unpleasantness. I ran Contra,

56:40

AIDS, and the rise of Huey Lewis

56:42

in the news. "'Let's

56:44

move a little further back,' he

56:47

thought. He formed

56:49

a strong mental version of the Vietnam protest

56:51

back in the 1960s. He

56:55

thought about a history class in high school

56:57

where he had learned about the turbulent era.

57:00

He recalled viewing old black-and-white

57:02

footage of war protests, soldiers

57:04

in jungles, and the assassination

57:06

of influential people. Soon,

57:09

Broderick experienced a surge of

57:11

fear and exhilaration as

57:13

he felt himself being pulled backward, then

57:16

fired forward like he had been

57:18

launched from a giant invisible slingshot.

57:21

As Broderick was propelled forward, he

57:23

heard music and vocals. "'Stop,

57:26

hey, what's that song? Everybody

57:29

look what's going down.'" Broderick

57:33

recognized the lyrics from a song that his

57:35

grandfather used to play on the stereo. He

57:38

recalled that the title of the song is

57:40

for what it's worth by a band called

57:43

Buffalo Springfield. Behind the

57:45

music, voices were shouting. Many

57:48

detected the pungent smell of sweat and hot asphalt

57:51

and felt the summer heat. With

57:53

Broderick opened his eyes, he was standing

57:55

in a mob of angry young protesters.

57:59

Many of them were carried out. and anti-war signs.

58:01

A long-haired shirtless twenty-something man handed

58:04

him a sign that read, 1-2-3-4

58:07

You Can Shove Your Stupid

58:09

War. Broderick

58:11

slipped the talisman into a pocket of

58:13

the faded tattered jeans he was now

58:15

wearing. He soon

58:17

regretted his hasty choice of locations.

58:20

There was too much anger and hatred. Nautious

58:23

body odor. Why didn't

58:26

I choose wolf stock for pity's sake?

58:28

he wondered. It's where you

58:30

learned that the best things in life

58:32

are free, especially hippy sex. Broderick

58:36

was overwhelmed at first, but when

58:38

his mind accepted that he was

58:40

actually taking part in a sixties

58:42

protest, he became enlivened. For

58:44

the next few minutes he marched,

58:46

yelled, and gave the finger to

58:48

some anti-protesters lining the sidewalks. Broderick

58:51

was enjoying the experience until the group

58:53

rounded the corner and met with a

58:55

brigade of ticked off police. The

58:58

protesters armed themselves with signs

59:00

that contained crappy poetry. The

59:03

cops had guns, billy clubs, tear

59:05

gas, fierce dogs, and fire hoses.

59:08

Yep, seen enough, Broderick said.

59:11

He dropped his sign and removed the

59:14

talisman from his pocket. Thankful

59:16

for having paid attention to the shopkeeper,

59:18

he held the stone relic in both

59:20

hands, closing his eyes. His

59:23

thoughts were solely on the store he had

59:25

left from. Soon

59:27

his ethereal body was flying through

59:29

space again. Broderick

59:31

smelled strawberry incense and felt the

59:33

wooden floor beneath his feet. Relief

59:36

washed over him as he opened his eyes

59:38

and realized he was back in the presence.

59:42

Madamona was sitting near the front

59:44

door behind a glass counter, reading

59:46

a copy of Glamour magazine. Welcome

59:49

back, she nonchalantly said, as

59:51

if Broderick's trip was an every

59:54

hour on the hour occurrence. How

59:57

long was I gone? Broderick breathlessly

59:59

asked. I cannot

1:00:01

say for certain. Perhaps

1:00:04

a few minutes, maybe

1:00:06

more," she said. Did

1:00:08

I disappear? Yes,

1:00:11

you did. Where did

1:00:13

you go? The sixties,

1:00:16

a Vietnam protest march. Seriously?

1:00:20

Madamona looked befuddled, as his brother

1:00:22

had selected a stupid and unusual

1:00:25

place. It was

1:00:27

just an arbitrary time that popped

1:00:29

into my head, Broderick said defensively.

1:00:32

Okay, she replied. Oh

1:00:34

yeah? Well, where the heck would you have gone?

1:00:38

How should I know? It

1:00:40

was your space trip, Major

1:00:42

Tom. Broderick looked

1:00:44

in awe at the wondrous magical stone

1:00:47

still clasped in his hands. I'll

1:00:49

take it. Don't get

1:00:52

ahead of yourself, Broderick

1:00:54

O'Connor. As

1:00:57

I said, I'll allow you

1:00:59

to try it. But

1:01:02

it's also a trial period for

1:01:04

the talisman to test you. You

1:01:08

have to demonstrate responsibility

1:01:11

and respect. Respect

1:01:14

for what? You,

1:01:16

Broderick sneered. No,

1:01:19

for the talisman, Madamona

1:01:22

said cryptically. Borrow

1:01:25

it. Use

1:01:27

it wisely. Fix your

1:01:29

problem. Don't

1:01:31

lose the talisman. Return

1:01:34

here with it. We'll

1:01:37

see if you still want to own

1:01:39

it. Broderick absorbed

1:01:42

her words for a moment. Deal,

1:01:44

he said. He pocketed

1:01:47

the stone, then went to the entrance

1:01:49

and stopped. I'll see you

1:01:51

soon, he said over his shoulder. Then

1:01:54

his face became stern, a

1:01:56

glint of menace in his eyes. But

1:01:59

be warned. If this thing

1:02:01

doesn't work as promised, I'll

1:02:03

be seeing you sooner, and

1:02:06

I won't be a happy customer." His

1:02:09

threat clear, Broderick flung open the front

1:02:11

door and left with the stone. Whatever

1:02:14

you say, Mr.

1:02:17

Broderick O'Connor," Madamona

1:02:20

muttered before returning to her

1:02:22

magazine. It's

1:02:31

time to turn off the lights

1:02:34

and turn on the dark. This

1:02:45

is Chilling Tales for Dark

1:02:47

Nights. Good evening, listener.

1:02:50

I'm Steve Taylor, your

1:02:52

host to a horror anthology

1:02:54

podcast, where we ask

1:02:56

you to depart from your

1:02:58

safe perception of reality to

1:03:01

descend with us into the

1:03:03

frightening depth and dark corners

1:03:05

of twisted imaginations. With

1:03:07

carefully curated original tales of

1:03:09

terror each week, our deepest

1:03:11

rooted fears are brought to

1:03:14

the forefront by a diverse

1:03:16

cast of voice talent and

1:03:18

masterfully eerie sound design that

1:03:20

bring these stories to life.

1:03:23

We'll give you tales of unnerving

1:03:26

encounters with the occult, harrowing

1:03:28

hauntings, and sinister

1:03:31

seances that show

1:03:33

just how darkness knows

1:03:35

no bounds. If

1:03:38

you're like us here at Chilling

1:03:40

Tales and enjoy feeling your stomach

1:03:42

filling with dread as dastardly demons

1:03:44

dance in your head, make

1:03:47

sure to check out Chilling Tales

1:03:49

for Dark Nights on Apple Podcasts,

1:03:51

Spotify, or wherever you get your

1:03:54

podcasts. To subscribe now to always

1:03:56

be the first to enjoy the

1:03:59

horror. Or a show. Listen

1:04:15

closely. I

1:04:17

might just know what you're looking for. Maybe

1:04:21

it's a little bit more excitement in your life.

1:04:24

And don't let the system to

1:04:27

get the blood pumping again. Just

1:04:30

the smallest, tiniest

1:04:32

taste. Something

1:04:34

to dilate pupils. Do

1:04:38

allow me to welcome you to the horror of you.

1:04:42

A little getaway I know about. A

1:04:45

place with scenic overlooks. With

1:04:47

fresh terror on tap. Chilling

1:04:50

even the most discerning connoisseurs of

1:04:52

the mok'af to the bone. Join

1:04:54

me each week to get all

1:04:57

of the ghastly, gory and grotesque

1:04:59

stories that I've handpicked from the

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authors. By subscribing

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to Horror Hill on Apple

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Podcasts, Spotify, or

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wherever you prefer to get your horror effects.

1:05:14

My name is Jason. You

1:05:16

can take my word for it. Oh,

1:05:20

then remember. It's

1:05:22

a little story. Right?

1:05:39

Broderick was orbiting around the talisman line

1:05:41

on his living room coffee table as

1:05:43

though it were the sun. He

1:05:47

gnawed on his thumbnail. A habit he

1:05:49

had whenever he was perplexed or had

1:05:51

a good idea, which was seldom.

1:05:54

Do it. Do it. Just

1:05:57

do it. He kept repeating.

1:06:00

This had been going on for nearly an hour.

1:06:04

Can I do this? He

1:06:06

asked himself. I need more

1:06:08

time to think. I've only

1:06:10

got one shot. I can't afford to screw

1:06:12

this up. Broderick

1:06:14

was about to complete another rotation when

1:06:16

an idea struck him. I'll

1:06:18

need to take another test run. I'll

1:06:21

try going back in time a little farther

1:06:23

than before. Now

1:06:25

how far back do I want to go? That

1:06:28

graduation trip to the beach with my buds?

1:06:31

My first frat party? Nah,

1:06:34

let's really see what this bad boy'll do.

1:06:37

Go big or go home, Brody. No

1:06:40

one could accuse Broderick of not being

1:06:42

creative. For him, it

1:06:44

was an essential building block in the

1:06:46

art of line with ease and plausible

1:06:49

conviction. After thinking

1:06:51

it over, Broderick impressed himself with

1:06:53

a bold and brilliant idea. It

1:06:56

came to him while he was looking at a

1:06:58

painting that his parents had given him as a

1:07:00

housewarming gift. It depicted a

1:07:02

revolutionary war battle. Smoke

1:07:05

billowed from cannons and muskets. Fearlessly,

1:07:08

men charged at each other with bayonets

1:07:10

at the ready. As

1:07:12

horses reared on their hind legs and

1:07:14

the ethereal battle missed. Let's

1:07:17

get it on! Broderick shouted

1:07:19

like a boxing announcer. He

1:07:21

picked up the talisman and began the

1:07:23

well-rehearsed riot. Everything

1:07:26

around him faded as his mind thought of

1:07:28

nothing but the battle scene. Broderick

1:07:31

felt propelled through time once more. Soon

1:07:34

he tasted the metallic tang of

1:07:36

spent ammunition and felt warm squishy

1:07:38

mud under his feet. He

1:07:41

heard the sound of victory yells juxtaposed

1:07:43

with the screams of the dinen and

1:07:45

wounded. When Broderick opened

1:07:47

his eyes, he was in the scene depicted

1:07:49

in the painting. The military

1:07:52

attire he wore revealed his status as

1:07:54

a member of the Continental Army. He

1:07:57

tucked a mystical stone inside one of his

1:07:59

jacket pockets. Holding

1:08:01

the musket, it occurred to him he had never

1:08:03

shot a gun in his life. He

1:08:06

had certainly never taken a life before,

1:08:08

unless you counted his pleasant daydreams regarding

1:08:11

the twid and cubicle next to his

1:08:13

own. The loser never

1:08:15

stopped talking. Bringing

1:08:17

a violent end to a dunce's incessant

1:08:20

drone that had always filled Broderick's heart

1:08:22

with sweet contentment. However, his

1:08:24

verve didn't transfer to his

1:08:26

current situation. All

1:08:29

Broderick could think to do was to

1:08:31

run around yelling, hoping he didn't get

1:08:33

plugged by a round bullet or lance

1:08:35

with a British bayonet. When

1:08:37

a whistling cannonball vaporized the head of

1:08:39

the soldier a few feet to his

1:08:42

left, Broderick was ready to bring the

1:08:44

experiment to its necessary conclusion. He

1:08:47

ditched a rifle, pulled the talisman from

1:08:49

the top pocket of his grimy ragged

1:08:51

coat, and headed for home. Broderick

1:08:56

arrived back at his apartment, standing in

1:08:58

the spot from which he had left.

1:09:01

He was pale and shaken. Once

1:09:03

his nerves settled, he roared in

1:09:05

the triumphant manner of a successful

1:09:07

scientist. And thus it

1:09:09

is proved! Broderick

1:09:12

planned to sleep on it for a night,

1:09:14

but decided he was as ready as he'd

1:09:16

ever be to visit Lila. The

1:09:19

result of his experiments confirmed

1:09:21

his capability to regulate travel

1:09:23

distances. In light

1:09:25

of this, he reasoned that if he

1:09:28

made a mistake during his first visit

1:09:30

to Lila, he could continue to regress

1:09:32

in their relationship until he achieved his

1:09:34

objective. Remember, he

1:09:37

instructed himself, don't

1:09:39

rush it. Begin with how

1:09:41

sorry you are for being selfish and

1:09:44

insensitive. Keep it simple, and

1:09:46

keep in mind that if necessary you can go

1:09:49

back as far as you need and take another

1:09:51

stab at this. The

1:09:53

last thought, stab at this, reminded

1:09:55

Broderick of how close he had

1:09:57

come to being the marshmallow portion

1:09:59

of some redcoats' cosmic s'more.

1:10:02

He shivered and swallowed a thick gulp

1:10:04

of spit. Alright,

1:10:07

let's do this. Broderick

1:10:10

lowered himself into the plush

1:10:12

comfortable couch that Lila had

1:10:14

generously or, perhaps accidentally, bequeathed

1:10:16

him. He relaxed

1:10:18

and recalled the vivid memory of the

1:10:20

night Lila had left him for Ted.

1:10:23

Then, for reasons he didn't understand,

1:10:26

he started humming the song, Livin' La

1:10:28

Vida Loca. He

1:10:30

re-centered himself and picked up where he had

1:10:32

left off. Following

1:10:35

the prescribed ceremony, Broderick felt a comfortable

1:10:37

couch give way to a hard metal

1:10:39

chair in the coffee house that he

1:10:41

and Lila had frequented. He

1:10:44

inhaled the scintillating smell of

1:10:46

freshly brewed and unconscionably overpriced

1:10:48

coffees. He heard

1:10:50

acoustic Americana music coming through the

1:10:53

shop sound system, as well as

1:10:55

the undecipherable chatter of the surrounding

1:10:58

patrons. Broderick didn't

1:11:00

open his eyes right away. A great

1:11:03

sorrow rested on his heart. He

1:11:05

felt the lump forming in his throat and

1:11:08

tears brimming in his eyes. He

1:11:10

hadn't considered what his reaction would be when he

1:11:12

opened his eyes and saw the love of his

1:11:14

life sitting in front of him again. He braced

1:11:18

himself as he felt the comfort of

1:11:20

her small delicate hand touching his own

1:11:23

and her captivated, mellifluous voice.

1:11:26

Broderick, are you okay? He

1:11:29

opened his eyes and did his best not

1:11:31

to appear too emotional. Yeah,

1:11:34

babe, he said. I just

1:11:37

blanked out there for a minute. You

1:11:39

looked like you were napping. I

1:11:42

thought that maybe I'd bored you to death. No,

1:11:45

no, I'm good. Broderick said.

1:11:49

I need to say something to you. I

1:11:52

need to tell you. I

1:11:54

realized that I've been a total jerk. I've

1:11:57

taken you for granted for too long, I. There's

1:12:01

something I need to tell you too, and

1:12:03

based on where I think you're about to

1:12:06

take this conversation, now

1:12:08

should be the time." His

1:12:10

heart plummeted to his churning stomach. "'No,

1:12:14

Angel, don't. Please, Lila.'"

1:12:17

"'Babe, this just isn't working

1:12:19

out,' she said. I

1:12:21

know you're trying to make things right, but even

1:12:25

if you'd been perfect, this

1:12:27

would still be the end for us. The

1:12:30

thing is, I'm in love with someone

1:12:32

else. I

1:12:34

need someone I can have a committed

1:12:36

relationship with. This

1:12:38

isn't a spur-of-the-moment thing. I've

1:12:41

felt it for a while now." A

1:12:44

sense of vulnerability was supplanting the bravado

1:12:46

that Broderick had brought to the failing

1:12:48

plan. His mouth was

1:12:51

thickening with nervous spit while the tears

1:12:53

he was fighting threatened to reveal his

1:12:55

pain. Gone was

1:12:57

his pride, his dignity. He

1:13:00

didn't care about the looks that some of

1:13:02

the nerdy coffee swillers were shooting at him.

1:13:06

Realizing that this trip was doomed to

1:13:08

failure, a sense of hopelessness

1:13:10

and brokenness engulfed him. Despite

1:13:13

his clever planning and cockiness, he

1:13:15

was going to lose her anyway. Desperate,

1:13:18

Broderick used the only tool he had

1:13:20

left. Pleadin. "'Tell

1:13:23

me what to do,' he begged. "'Whatever

1:13:26

it takes to make you happy, I'll do it.

1:13:29

Whoever you need me to be, I'll be

1:13:31

that person. Lyla, this

1:13:33

isn't an infatuation. I

1:13:36

need you. Please, babe, please

1:13:38

give me a little more time to show you I

1:13:40

can change, then I can make you

1:13:42

happy.'" "'Broderick, if

1:13:46

you really want to make me happy,

1:13:48

then you need to let me go, so I—" "'Oh,

1:13:51

crap,' Broderick realized. I'm

1:13:54

taking too long. If I don't

1:13:56

leave, I'll be stuck here listening to the Indigo Girls

1:13:59

and having my My heart ripped out with an

1:14:01

ice cream scoop forever. I

1:14:03

gotta go, Lila," Broderick blurted. What?

1:14:06

Lila asked with a look of

1:14:08

mild confusion and annoyance. I'll

1:14:11

come back. I'll come back for you, but

1:14:13

it's gotta be later. I mean earlier. I

1:14:16

mean, aw, Jude, this was a sign of

1:14:18

fries. I'll be back. Be back

1:14:20

for me later. Earlier? What

1:14:23

are you even talking about? Lila asked.

1:14:27

Broderick realized he had to leave things where

1:14:29

they were for the time being. He

1:14:32

lifted the talisman he had been holding under the

1:14:34

table and did the dance. Broderick,

1:14:36

what is that thing? Are you conking

1:14:39

out of me again? So help me,

1:14:41

God. Broderick began to jaunt

1:14:43

home. Soon

1:14:46

Broderick felt the warm embrace of the sofa.

1:14:50

He heard the hum of the air conditioning forcing

1:14:52

its way out of the floor vent. Once

1:14:55

he knew he had successfully completed the journey,

1:14:57

he opened his eyes. He

1:14:59

felt so overwhelmed by grief that he

1:15:01

thought he might vomit. However,

1:15:04

the melancholy at his failure melted under

1:15:06

the brightness of his knowledge that he

1:15:08

could cheat time and head back to

1:15:10

Lila again. Broderick

1:15:13

acknowledged and agreed that he had only

1:15:15

one chance to alter an event, but

1:15:18

what he was talking about was

1:15:20

changing the outcome under different circumstances

1:15:22

at different times. He

1:15:25

had already demonstrated the ability to go

1:15:27

backwards as far as he wanted, but

1:15:30

first he needed to lie back,

1:15:32

pull himself together and strategize his

1:15:34

next attempt. This time

1:15:37

he had armed himself with something he neglected

1:15:39

to bring along on the first trip, an

1:15:42

unbelievable amount of BS. The

1:15:45

only question was where in time should

1:15:47

he revisit? After

1:15:49

some thought, he picked the date. It

1:15:52

was the night that he had asked Lila to move in

1:15:54

with him. He had taken

1:15:56

some coaxing at first, but she had

1:15:58

relented despite her hesitation. Broderick

1:16:01

wanted to alleviate the doubts she had

1:16:03

back then. He concluded

1:16:05

that those lingering doubts were the cause

1:16:07

of the subsequent pain. Those

1:16:10

in his unpleasant personality traits. Broderick's

1:16:14

plan was to adopt a new persona,

1:16:17

one in which he was patient instead of

1:16:19

pushy, a listener instead

1:16:21

of someone who dominated the conversation,

1:16:24

and sophisticated instead of crass. He

1:16:28

hoped Lila would love him more deeply, and

1:16:31

accept this new version of Broderick as

1:16:33

the soulmate she wanted. And

1:16:35

most importantly, no Ted.

1:16:39

Broderick practiced his lines, body language, and

1:16:41

facial expressions in front of the mirror.

1:16:44

To enhance the experience, he imagined

1:16:47

himself in a stylish brown sports

1:16:49

coat, crisp white shirt, well-fitted blue

1:16:51

jeans, and new dress loafers. It

1:16:55

wouldn't do to show up this time in

1:16:57

a Green Day t-shirt with wrinkled jeans and

1:16:59

some grungy white sneakers. Broderick

1:17:02

was prepared for takeoff when it occurred to

1:17:05

him that some cologne might help to compliment

1:17:07

his image. The problem was

1:17:09

he had never worn any because he had

1:17:11

never owned any. When

1:17:14

it came to his personal hygiene, he

1:17:16

figured a morning application of deodorant fulfilled

1:17:18

his part of the social contract. He

1:17:21

also flossed three times a week. Surely

1:17:24

that counted for something. Broderick

1:17:27

smiled as a brilliant flash of

1:17:29

ingenuity struck him. He

1:17:31

went to the laundry closet, grabbed a

1:17:33

dryer sheet that contained a fragrance called

1:17:36

Lemon Meadow, and used it to wipe

1:17:38

down his entire body. Once

1:17:40

the stage was set, Broderick dropped onto

1:17:42

the sofa, took the talisman in

1:17:45

his hands, and pulled every memory

1:17:47

of that night into his mind's eye. Then—

1:17:52

Why, thank you. You look quite

1:17:54

nice yourself. Lila said from her side

1:17:56

of the restaurant table. You

1:17:59

know, I— I don't think I've ever seen

1:18:01

you this spruced up. You

1:18:03

really clean up nice, kiddo. I

1:18:05

did it for you, Broderick cooed with

1:18:08

a slice of smiles as he placed

1:18:10

the talisman in his pants pocket. Lila

1:18:13

leaned forward over the table and sniffed.

1:18:16

Did you put on some cologne for me as well?

1:18:19

Why, yes, I did. Do

1:18:22

you like it? I guess

1:18:24

so. It kinda makes you smell

1:18:26

like a lemon tree or

1:18:29

dryer lint. I can't tell. Lila,

1:18:33

I want to talk to you about an idea I

1:18:35

have. I hope that it excites

1:18:37

you as much as it does me. Broderick

1:18:40

began his carefully crafted speech.

1:18:43

He laid out an eloquent statesman

1:18:45

like soliloquy about the importance

1:18:47

of commitment. His lawyerly

1:18:50

summation concluded with asking Lila to

1:18:52

share his life, his love and

1:18:54

his home. Broderick

1:18:56

delivered the heartfelt appeal with

1:18:59

a robust theatrical style reminiscent

1:19:01

of Sir John Gilgood in

1:19:03

the Shakespearean tragedy with

1:19:05

a hint of Tom Cruise and Jerry Maguire.

1:19:09

After he completed his sales pitch, Broderick

1:19:11

gave himself a mental pat on the

1:19:13

back. Booyah! His

1:19:15

inner voice cheered. Drop

1:19:17

the mic, cue the sunset and roll

1:19:20

the credits, baby. Cause daddy just put

1:19:22

it to bed. With

1:19:24

the most realistic tears he could muster,

1:19:26

Broderick took Lila's hands in his. I'll

1:19:29

make you happy for the rest of your life

1:19:32

and any to come. What

1:19:34

do you say? Lila with

1:19:36

a soft twinkle in her eyes waited for

1:19:38

a moment before giving him an answer. In

1:19:41

a tone devoid of enthusiasm, she

1:19:43

said. No, I don't

1:19:45

think so. Broderick's

1:19:48

fawning eyes and cherub facial expression

1:19:50

didn't change as he said. Wait,

1:19:53

what? Look Broderick,

1:19:56

I thought you were a man who's comfortable in his

1:19:58

own skin. Yes? Sometimes

1:20:00

you can be short-tempered, immature,

1:20:02

and narcissistic. But

1:20:04

I've learned to embrace you despite these

1:20:06

flaws. Now you're trying to

1:20:08

be someone you're not just to please me. You

1:20:12

came here tonight looking and smelling like

1:20:14

a metrosexual who got lost in a

1:20:16

lemon orchard and talking

1:20:18

like a grippy romance novelist. It

1:20:21

isn't you. It's a forged version

1:20:23

of you. For example,

1:20:25

right now, you look like

1:20:27

you're so emotionally fragile that you might cry

1:20:30

at any second. That's not

1:20:32

the Broderick I fell for. I'm

1:20:34

sorry. But if this is really

1:20:36

who you are, then it might

1:20:38

be better just to give each other some space for

1:20:40

a while. Besides, it's not

1:20:42

like you'd notice I'm gone. You

1:20:45

barely acknowledge me when I'm here. Broderick

1:20:48

felt like the north end of a southbound

1:20:50

mule. How in the heck did

1:20:52

this plan fail? He wondered. The

1:20:55

clothes, the tender, caring person, the

1:20:57

stupid, lemony, fresh dryer sheet for

1:21:00

pity's sake, the

1:21:02

futility of everything he had done to

1:21:04

change this one thing enraged him. Broderick

1:21:07

sprang from his chair and allowed

1:21:09

Lila, the waiters, and the other

1:21:12

proud Americans in the establishment to

1:21:14

be sucked into his profanity-laced, red-faced,

1:21:17

lost-in-the-case swirl and vortex of

1:21:19

shame and fury. By

1:21:21

the time he ran out of steam,

1:21:23

the cowardly patrons had evacuated the scene.

1:21:26

The braver ones who remained disregarded

1:21:28

Broderick's outburst as nothing more than dinner

1:21:30

and a show. Lila,

1:21:33

who had sat through the entire performance

1:21:35

with eyes as wide as the Rio

1:21:37

Grande, began slowly clapping. She

1:21:40

stood and addressed the entire room. And

1:21:43

now, ladies and gentlemen, fresh

1:21:45

off his Tony Award-winning role for Best

1:21:47

Actress in the comedy or drama, it's

1:21:50

none other than Broderick, the

1:21:52

lemon-scented monkey's-ass. Far

1:21:55

from done, she added, thank

1:21:57

you, Broderick, for all of the good times

1:21:59

along with tonight. not stirring performance.

1:22:02

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm calling a friend

1:22:04

to pick me up. Someone

1:22:06

who's more mature than you and I might

1:22:08

add better smelling." "'Lila!'

1:22:11

Broderick yelled as she began

1:22:13

walking toward the entrance. "'After

1:22:16

everything I've done to make you love me,

1:22:18

don't you have one kind thing to say?'

1:22:21

Lila stopped short and turned. "'Yeah,

1:22:24

Broderick, here's some kind advice. You

1:22:28

know that recipe you concocted for

1:22:30

your world-famous cucumber and raisin casserole?

1:22:33

Well, it's an abomination before the

1:22:35

Lord. Burn it.'" Deciding

1:22:38

to do the rest of her talking with

1:22:40

her walking, she turned and stomped her way

1:22:42

to the restaurant's front door. Broderick

1:22:45

was numb. He couldn't

1:22:47

think, couldn't speak. He

1:22:49

thought she loved his cucumber and raisin

1:22:52

casserole. And if he

1:22:54

thought this moment was the zenith of his

1:22:56

humiliation, he would have been wrong. Very

1:22:59

wrong. When Lila

1:23:01

got to the door before she could

1:23:03

push it open, a handsome young man

1:23:05

with a square jaw, crystal blue eyes,

1:23:07

a thick head of wavy brown hair,

1:23:10

and movie star-good looks opened it for

1:23:12

her. "'I was in

1:23:14

the bar and saw what happened,' said

1:23:16

the lean, tanned, and effortlessly charming young

1:23:18

man. "'Actually, it was probably

1:23:20

picked up by the International Space Station.'

1:23:23

At that, Lila's rage-hardened face

1:23:26

softened, and she laughed. "'Anyhow,'

1:23:29

the young stranger said, "'I was

1:23:32

just heading out to meet some friends who were

1:23:34

having a small rooftop party. I could

1:23:36

give you a ride home on the way, if you want.' "'Sounds

1:23:39

great,' Lila said coquettishly.

1:23:42

"'But that party sounds a little great,

1:23:44

too.' Broderick

1:23:46

stood there dumbfounded as they walked through

1:23:48

the door together. The

1:23:51

restaurant was still and quiet so he

1:23:53

could hear their last exchange. "'Oh,

1:23:55

Lila, by the way,' said the young stranger.

1:23:57

"'Well, hi, Lila, by the way. Pleased to meet

1:23:59

you.' you. I'm Tan." Broderick

1:24:04

slept little that night. He

1:24:07

was sad, angry, and out of ideas.

1:24:09

He remembered a quote by Soren

1:24:12

Kierkegaard, "...there is no

1:24:14

more pitiful state of being that comes about

1:24:16

than when one has to let go of

1:24:18

a future that will never be. No matter

1:24:21

what he did or how far back he

1:24:23

went, there would never be a future with

1:24:25

Lila. It hurt." By

1:24:29

the early afternoon of the next

1:24:31

day, Broderick's growling stomach outmatched his

1:24:33

martyr's desire to starve to death,

1:24:35

so he ventured out. Besides,

1:24:37

his limited trial time with the

1:24:39

callousman was almost up. It

1:24:42

was time to return it. Broderick

1:24:44

took an Uber to the diner he had

1:24:47

eaten at prior to his first visit to

1:24:49

Madame Mona's shop of curiosities. He

1:24:51

ended up being more of a martyr

1:24:54

than expected, leaving half of his turkey

1:24:56

and Havarti sandwich uneaten. He

1:24:58

paid the tab and set out for Madame

1:25:00

Mona's. When

1:25:04

Broderick entered the store, he saw

1:25:06

Madame Mona seated behind the counter

1:25:08

perusing the magazine. Without

1:25:11

looking up, she asked, "...oh,

1:25:14

hello, back already?"

1:25:17

The store was still as empty as the

1:25:19

tomb on Easter morning. Broderick

1:25:21

shuffled over to the counter. He

1:25:24

took the talisman out of his pocket and laid

1:25:26

it on the glass countertop. "...didn't

1:25:29

work," he said solemnly. "...of

1:25:32

course it did," Madame

1:25:34

Mona said. "...I

1:25:36

saw you take your first

1:25:38

trip." Then she

1:25:40

sniffed the air. "...do

1:25:43

you smell that?" "...smell

1:25:46

what?" "...Lil'mon's

1:25:48

dryer lint." "...oh,

1:25:50

that'd be me. No,

1:25:52

I meant that it didn't help me do what I

1:25:54

wanted to do. I lost

1:25:57

Lila anyway. I should

1:25:59

have listened to you." I only

1:26:01

had one chance to fix things. Getting

1:26:04

creative with the rules to cheat the talisman

1:26:06

is a fool's errand. It

1:26:08

won't stand for it. I

1:26:10

suppose that's fair." Madamona

1:26:13

got up from her stool and walked from behind

1:26:16

the counter to Broderick. "'You're

1:26:18

not the only person who's

1:26:20

had an important moment slip

1:26:23

through their hands,' she

1:26:25

said in a soothing manner. As

1:26:28

you learned, you're not allowed

1:26:30

to try more than once.'

1:26:34

"'What you get is what has to

1:26:36

be. At

1:26:38

least you had the presence of

1:26:40

lying not to stay there for

1:26:43

too long. You

1:26:45

didn't get stuck reliving that

1:26:47

bad moment for all of

1:26:49

eternity. That would've

1:26:52

been the real hell. Now

1:26:55

you can move on with the

1:26:57

knowledge that you've done all you

1:27:00

could to erase your pain. It

1:27:04

seems like you've let

1:27:06

this stone teach you

1:27:08

the importance of boundaries,

1:27:10

humility, and respect.

1:27:14

Do you still want the

1:27:17

talisman?' Broderick

1:27:19

thought for a bit. "'I

1:27:22

don't know,' he woefully replied. Then

1:27:25

the mischievous grin spread across his face

1:27:27

as his ego considered the power he

1:27:29

could wield from the talisman. "'Maybe.'

1:27:34

"'Yeah, why not? Unlike

1:27:36

the others, I could use it to bounce

1:27:38

around history. Maybe I

1:27:40

could seal the stone myself. That's

1:27:42

quite a piece of magic you had there.' Broderick

1:27:46

snatched the talisman from the counter and began flipping it in

1:27:48

his hand like a coin. Madamona's

1:27:51

hand shot out and seized it from

1:27:53

the air just before he could catch

1:27:55

it. "'No,' she

1:27:58

said defiantly. I'm

1:28:00

sorry, did you say no? The

1:28:03

talisman is a sacred

1:28:05

artifact, not a

1:28:07

toy for your amusement. Many

1:28:11

have used it countless

1:28:13

times throughout history, in

1:28:16

spans of time too long

1:28:18

to fathom. I've

1:28:21

only offered the talisman to a

1:28:23

select group of people. Those

1:28:27

who mourn, those

1:28:30

who've wronged others through

1:28:32

cruelty or personal gain,

1:28:36

and those who yearn to

1:28:38

get back something precious that's

1:28:40

been lost. By

1:28:43

offering it to you,

1:28:45

I thought it might

1:28:48

change your cavalier,

1:28:50

impertinent attitude. But

1:28:53

apparently, even it's

1:28:55

not powerful enough.

1:28:58

Like you, there have been

1:29:01

those who have demanded to

1:29:03

possess it, no

1:29:05

matter the cost. Even

1:29:08

after they proved themselves

1:29:10

unworthy. Well,

1:29:13

if you've found worthy people to sell it

1:29:15

to, then how does it keep ending up

1:29:17

back here with you? Broderick indignantly asked. As

1:29:21

I've already explained to you,

1:29:23

when the need

1:29:25

was no more, they

1:29:28

returned the talisman to me. Mr.

1:29:32

O'Connor, instead of,

1:29:35

as you put it, bouncing around

1:29:37

in time. This

1:29:40

talisman can provide you

1:29:42

with something more meaningful.

1:29:45

And keep you from living

1:29:47

a self-centered existence. You

1:29:51

could use it to help the

1:29:53

people in your life who have

1:29:55

also known a regret. Or

1:29:58

you could use it to ensure... your

1:30:01

own personal universe, in

1:30:04

which you always profit and

1:30:06

never lose. Have

1:30:09

you ever stopped to consider

1:30:11

that sometimes it's the

1:30:13

hardest lesson that shape us

1:30:16

into becoming who we are meant

1:30:18

to be?" Broderick

1:30:21

felt the same old ferocity rising in

1:30:23

him. His inner demons encouraged

1:30:25

him to put his foot down and

1:30:28

demand his own way, lest there be

1:30:30

consequences. He brought

1:30:32

his head down, almost touching the small

1:30:34

woman's forehead. "'You

1:30:37

said you find me

1:30:39

cavalier and impertinent," Broderick

1:30:41

hissed. "'You left out

1:30:44

a couple of other descriptions. Determination

1:30:47

and wrath. You

1:30:51

told me not two days ago that

1:30:53

if I was satisfied with the stone

1:30:55

that you'd work out a fair price

1:30:57

for me. I think

1:30:59

now is an appropriate time for that.

1:31:03

See, like me and that rock, you

1:31:06

need to learn about boundaries,

1:31:08

humility, and respect. Here's

1:31:11

what I know and what I don't know.

1:31:14

I know you're going to sell me

1:31:16

that stone. What

1:31:18

I don't know is what's going

1:31:20

to happen if you don't.'" "'That

1:31:23

talisman isn't a sacred artifact.

1:31:26

It's a total screw-up. It

1:31:29

had one task to accomplish and it couldn't

1:31:31

handle it. But I'm

1:31:33

a creative guy. I

1:31:35

can come up with some adjustments. I

1:31:38

think you figured out that I can take

1:31:40

this rock if I want to, but

1:31:42

I believe in being fair. Sell

1:31:45

it to me and I promise that

1:31:47

I won't go back in time and

1:31:49

murder your pregnant whore of a mother.

1:31:52

What say you, all powerful

1:31:54

sous-sayer?' Madam

1:31:57

on his eyes never left Broderick's."

1:32:00

When he finished his blatant threat, she

1:32:03

allowed an impish grin of her own to paint

1:32:05

her face. All

1:32:07

rise in, she said. You

1:32:11

drive a hard bargain,

1:32:13

Mr. O'Connor. I

1:32:16

suppose it was going to

1:32:18

pass to another owner at

1:32:21

some point. I

1:32:23

told you I would sell

1:32:26

it to you and so I shall.

1:32:30

Broderick's Smurf, that's more

1:32:33

like it. Well, I'm

1:32:36

listening. I'm

1:32:38

a purveyor of unusual

1:32:41

objects, but I'm

1:32:43

also a businesswoman, Madam

1:32:46

owner said. How else

1:32:48

could I afford to keep this

1:32:50

shop open? After

1:32:53

all, you can

1:32:55

only make so much by

1:32:57

selling healing crystals and love

1:33:00

potions. Well,

1:33:02

aren't you a little

1:33:04

hypocrite? Broderick slightly asked.

1:33:07

Okay, I'll bite. You

1:33:09

said the price would be fair,

1:33:11

but by fair I'm thinking you're

1:33:14

asking for something other than money.

1:33:16

What a clever boy! she

1:33:18

mewed. I

1:33:21

want you to use

1:33:24

it one more time

1:33:26

for me. There's something

1:33:28

I'd like from the past.

1:33:31

Something I'd love to add

1:33:34

to my inventory. If

1:33:37

you want it so bad, why haven't you gone

1:33:39

back and gotten it yourself? Sorry

1:33:42

to say, I'm not

1:33:45

as adventurous as some people.

1:33:48

Besides, if I didn't make

1:33:50

it back, who would feed

1:33:53

my cats? How

1:33:55

many cats do you have? Madam

1:33:57

owner paused. I

1:34:01

didn't expect you to ask," she

1:34:04

said sheepishly. "'All

1:34:06

right, all right. I

1:34:09

don't have any stupid kids.

1:34:12

I'm just cowardly. Sue

1:34:15

me.'" Roderick

1:34:17

snickered, shaking his head in disbelief.

1:34:19

"'Kay, what is it you want?'

1:34:22

he asked. "'A

1:34:24

sliver of wood from

1:34:26

the cross of Christ,'

1:34:28

Madam Mona said. "'You

1:34:31

mean Jesus Christ?'

1:34:34

"'No, Karl Christ.

1:34:37

Yes, I'd like

1:34:40

you to travel back to the day

1:34:42

of the cross of Hygshun and bring

1:34:44

me a small piece of

1:34:46

the cross.' "'That's

1:34:48

it?' Roderick asked with relief. "'Nothing

1:34:52

else, like maybe a Roman toga

1:34:54

or ten dollars worth of shekels?

1:34:57

Nothing like that?' "'No,' Madam

1:34:59

Mona said. "'Just

1:35:01

if one bit of wood, I

1:35:05

have a use for it.' Roderick

1:35:08

clapped his hands together and again

1:35:10

used his booming announcer's voice. "'Let's

1:35:12

get it on!' "'Okay.

1:35:16

Come look at this.' She

1:35:20

turned and walked across the sill's floor at

1:35:22

a quick clip, her purple

1:35:24

moo-moo billowing behind her. They

1:35:27

ended up in front of a tall glass

1:35:29

display. The unique

1:35:31

and disparate items engrossed Roderick.

1:35:34

"'Now what if we got here?' he

1:35:36

asked, as his eyes swept over the

1:35:38

collection of valuable relics. His

1:35:40

eyes settled on a button. "'Where's

1:35:43

that from?' Madam

1:35:45

Mona enjoyed the look of fascination

1:35:47

on Roderick's face. "'I

1:35:50

have that button taken off

1:35:52

the coat of George Washington

1:35:54

during the winter of 1777

1:35:56

at Valley Falls.' That's

1:36:01

the real deal? Seriously? Seriously.

1:36:06

Get out of my room," Broderick exclaimed

1:36:08

with an air of excitement. And

1:36:11

that?" he asked, pointing at an

1:36:13

ornate dagger. "'That's

1:36:15

a sacrificial dagger from

1:36:17

about 2000 B.C.

1:36:20

that was retrieved by

1:36:22

one of my travelers. It

1:36:26

belonged to a Mayan

1:36:28

tribal chief." "'Is

1:36:30

that what I think it is?' Broderick

1:36:33

pressed his forehead to the front of the

1:36:35

glass case to confirm what he thought he

1:36:37

was seeing. "'That's right,'

1:36:39

Madam Mona said. "'That

1:36:42

is the crown of thorns

1:36:45

worn by Christ, and

1:36:47

those are the three nails used

1:36:50

to hold him on the cross.

1:36:53

As you can see, they're

1:36:56

large and slightly bent. Definitely

1:37:00

post-crucifixion. And

1:37:03

by the way, stop steaming up

1:37:05

the glass. I

1:37:07

have to clean these things, you know.'

1:37:10

"'I said it before and I'll repeat it now,'

1:37:13

Broderick chuckled. "'You are

1:37:15

one careless, clumsy, and irresponsible

1:37:17

person. What is it

1:37:19

with you and leaving expensive stuff sitting out

1:37:21

for someone to just grab and run?' "'First

1:37:25

of all, Mr. Know-it-all.

1:37:28

They have to know what it

1:37:31

was they were stealing. Secondly,

1:37:34

I store these

1:37:36

as well as my other

1:37:38

rare items in a large,

1:37:40

secure vault.' "'Really?

1:37:43

Is it inside a bank or hidden behind a

1:37:45

secret wall?' "'Actually,'

1:37:48

Madam Mona confessed with some

1:37:50

embarrassment. "'I keep them

1:37:52

locked in an old freezer in

1:37:55

the back, but it

1:37:57

is locked.' "'Broderick

1:38:00

looked at her with incredulity. Does

1:38:02

the Federal Reserve know about this

1:38:04

cutting-edge technology? Well,

1:38:07

it's a huge padlock.

1:38:10

Madame Ona was eager to get back to the

1:38:12

matter at hand. Here, look

1:38:15

at this, she said, removing

1:38:17

the key from a lanyard around her neck

1:38:19

and using it to unlock the front of

1:38:21

the case. She removed

1:38:24

the small wooden figurine that depicted

1:38:26

the crucifixion. John

1:38:28

the Roman soldier was piercing Jesus' side

1:38:31

with a long spear. John

1:38:34

the disciple, Mary Magdalene, and

1:38:36

Jesus' mother were staring in disbelief,

1:38:38

an expression of palpable despair etched

1:38:41

on their upturned faces. The

1:38:44

center of the figurine displayed an image

1:38:46

of Jesus on the cross. His

1:38:49

look was of intense sorrow and utter

1:38:51

anguish. A

1:38:53

marvelous piece, no? Madame

1:38:56

Ona asked. What

1:38:58

I'd really like is the

1:39:00

wood from the actual cross

1:39:03

of Christ to form a

1:39:05

set with the bloodied crown

1:39:07

and mouth that

1:39:09

would bring together the touch

1:39:11

of authenticity that I wish

1:39:14

to convey. Then

1:39:16

she held the carving up to Broderick's face.

1:39:19

Now then, she said, in

1:39:22

the lowest severe tone, the

1:39:24

image of this figurine

1:39:27

will better ensure your

1:39:29

effectiveness. Focus

1:39:32

on Jesus as he hangs on

1:39:34

the cross. Imprint

1:39:37

the image into your mind

1:39:39

as indelibly as possible. Then

1:39:43

you get there. I

1:39:45

need you at the foot of that

1:39:47

cross, not an

1:39:49

inch further. Don't

1:39:52

get overwhelmed by what you

1:39:54

are witnessing. It

1:39:56

will be difficult, but I

1:39:59

need you to... collect what I asked

1:40:01

of you. Are

1:40:03

you ready to do this?" Yes,

1:40:07

Broderick said with the cocksuredness

1:40:09

that only an arrogant bully

1:40:11

would wield. But remember,

1:40:13

if you screw with me, I'll make

1:40:16

good on that threat. In

1:40:18

fact, if your mom's still living, you might want

1:40:20

to call her. You know, just

1:40:23

in case you both disappear into the

1:40:25

ether. I'll

1:40:27

remember, Mr. O'Connor. I

1:40:30

assure you, it is

1:40:32

at the forefront of my

1:40:34

mind. Madam

1:40:37

O'Mona handed Broderick back the stone. Nothing,

1:40:41

she said. Close

1:40:43

your eyes and hold the talisman

1:40:46

between your hands. Likewise,

1:40:48

you need to be holding

1:40:51

it in your hands to

1:40:53

return here. I'm

1:40:55

sure you know the rest of the

1:40:57

drill. Ready

1:40:59

or not, Broderick said, then

1:41:01

started the process. He

1:41:04

pushed aside everything that was clutter in

1:41:06

his mind and focused his energy on

1:41:08

the wooden figurine. It

1:41:11

wasn't long before he smelled dusty air.

1:41:14

The mix of soldier mockery and grieving

1:41:16

women's wails echoed in his ears. He

1:41:20

kept his eyes closed until he felt ready

1:41:22

to act. From

1:41:25

a distant place in his mind, Broderick

1:41:27

heard Madam O'Mona's airy voice calling out

1:41:29

to him. Keep

1:41:31

your eyes closed a

1:41:33

bit longer, Mr. O'Connor.

1:41:36

You only have one chance

1:41:39

to get this right. Reach

1:41:42

out. Can

1:41:44

you feel the wood? Touch

1:41:47

the wood of the cross and

1:41:49

feel a connection to it. Broderick

1:41:54

took her instructions, reaching until he felt

1:41:56

the hardness of wood. Soon,

1:41:59

a burning and crushing and indescribable

1:42:01

pain blanketed his body. A

1:42:04

sensation of sticky wetness was rolling

1:42:06

down on him. A

1:42:09

profound sadness gripped him, squeezing his

1:42:11

soul. His

1:42:13

confused and horrified mind understood

1:42:16

what was happening. Broderick

1:42:18

snapped his eyes open, expecting to

1:42:20

be looking up at the twisted

1:42:22

body hanging horrifically from the cross.

1:42:26

That was not what he saw. Rather

1:42:29

than looking up, he was

1:42:31

glancing down at a man comforting a

1:42:34

distressed woman. A

1:42:36

younger woman with tears and dirt

1:42:38

smearing her face was also present.

1:42:41

To his left and right, he

1:42:43

saw broken men on crosses. Breathing

1:42:47

had become difficult. Every

1:42:49

time Broderick slumped, his lungs

1:42:51

compressed. Despite

1:42:53

his efforts to straighten up, the

1:42:56

thick nails securing his feet to the

1:42:58

small platform only made him cry out

1:43:00

more. His

1:43:02

torment and terror intensified when he

1:43:04

looked down again and saw a

1:43:06

Roman soldier standing next to his

1:43:08

cross with a long spear, gazing

1:43:11

up at him like a vulture. Oh

1:43:14

god! Broderick

1:43:16

said in a gasping hoarse

1:43:18

voice, saturated with raw fear.

1:43:22

What did you do, woman? What

1:43:26

did you do? I

1:43:29

gotta get back. Broderick

1:43:32

didn't remember stowing the talisman,

1:43:35

dressed only in a bloody ragged

1:43:37

loincloth. He wondered how

1:43:40

he could have secured its safety. Was

1:43:42

it still on him? The

1:43:45

talisman? Where's

1:43:48

the damn talisman? Then

1:43:51

he thought of his hands. It

1:43:53

had to be in the hand. The

1:43:56

excruciating pain in Broderick's gored hands

1:43:59

overwhelmed him. him, preventing

1:44:01

him from feeling anything else. Screaming,

1:44:04

he forced his right hand open to

1:44:06

check if it was clutching the lifesaving

1:44:09

artifact. It wasn't there.

1:44:12

Please, God, let

1:44:14

it be in my other hand, Broderick

1:44:17

begged. He agonizingly

1:44:19

spread some fingers of his left hand

1:44:22

and saw that they were grasping his

1:44:24

ticket from this awful fate. Screw

1:44:27

your wood, you piece of

1:44:29

filth, he snarled through

1:44:31

gritted teeth. If my

1:44:33

hands aren't ripped to shreds when I

1:44:36

get back, I'm gonna

1:44:38

bitch slap you to another

1:44:40

hemisphere. Oh

1:44:42

yeah, and there's that

1:44:45

party with your big sweet mama

1:44:47

to enjoy as well. Broderick's

1:44:51

sense of relief at having the

1:44:53

talisman back soon turned to wide-eyed

1:44:55

delirium. As he remembered

1:44:57

the most fundamental rule of teleportation,

1:45:00

you must hold the stone in both

1:45:02

hands, not one. He

1:45:05

became a wild and helpless animal,

1:45:07

thrashing and howling, his

1:45:10

vain attempts at ripping his right hand

1:45:12

free so he could cover the talisman-proof

1:45:14

feudal. The full

1:45:16

weight of his predicament hit him hard

1:45:18

when he realized he had overlooked yet

1:45:21

another important rule. If

1:45:23

he failed to return within ten minutes,

1:45:25

he'd be trapped in the moment forever.

1:45:29

A world without end, amen,

1:45:31

he remembered. With a

1:45:33

high-pitched well that would have brought

1:45:35

a grand feeling of glee to

1:45:37

the stone's owner, poor Broderick hollered,

1:45:43

but not for the last time. Back

1:45:53

at the store, Madamona stared at

1:45:55

the wooden figurine in her hand.

1:45:58

Broderick's crucified image was

1:46:00

forever etched into it, his

1:46:03

contorted face a rictus of misery

1:46:05

and excretion. A look

1:46:08

of sublime satisfaction spread across her

1:46:10

own face as she began flipping

1:46:12

the figurine from one hand to

1:46:14

the other, just as

1:46:16

Broderick had once done with the talisman.

1:46:19

Yes, Broderick O'Connor,

1:46:23

she beamed, this

1:46:25

piece will add considerable

1:46:27

worth to my collection.

1:46:31

It was carved from a

1:46:33

one-of-a-kind slab of wood from

1:46:36

a specific cross. Whoops!

1:46:40

And to think, I

1:46:42

sent you back there for

1:46:44

nothing. Madamona

1:46:48

carried the piece to the glass

1:46:50

display cabinet, where she kept the

1:46:53

other impressive artifacts. She

1:46:55

was fumbling for the key on her lanyard

1:46:57

when a thought made her stop. I

1:47:01

understand how valuable and rare

1:47:03

you are. I should

1:47:07

place you under lock and

1:47:09

key, she told the man

1:47:11

in the figurine. But

1:47:14

you did say that

1:47:16

I was careless, clumsy,

1:47:18

and irresponsible. You

1:47:21

did say that, right? Now,

1:47:25

let's see. Where's

1:47:28

to put you? Where

1:47:31

to put you? Madamona

1:47:34

pouted in concentration as she

1:47:36

began surveying the sales floor.

1:47:39

Once she settled on an appropriate spot,

1:47:42

she sashayed to it. Walking

1:47:44

down the aisle, she stopped to gaze

1:47:46

at the shelf where she had displayed

1:47:49

the talisman. As was its

1:47:51

habit, it had returned to its home in

1:47:53

the soft black cloth. Welcome,

1:47:56

Beck, she said. As for

1:47:59

you? She said to the

1:48:01

figurine, I think you

1:48:03

go perfectly with some other

1:48:06

items that I've seen some

1:48:08

cunning folks back for. You

1:48:11

should all get along fine.

1:48:15

You have so much in

1:48:17

common. Madam

1:48:19

Ona smiled as she positioned the

1:48:21

figurine alongside some other items on

1:48:23

the shelf. One

1:48:25

of them was a framed 5x9

1:48:28

black and white photo of a

1:48:30

desperate man inches away from the

1:48:32

gigantic dorsal fin of a shark.

1:48:35

The image of a sinking battleship

1:48:37

in the background called the USS

1:48:39

Indianapolis was visible in the distance.

1:48:43

Next to the photo was a

1:48:45

small porcelain vase depicting an elderly

1:48:47

woman writhing in agony within Dante's

1:48:49

Inferno. Unlike the

1:48:51

30th short haired man and the

1:48:54

wooden figurine next to hers, she

1:48:56

too was screaming. Madam

1:48:59

Ona stepped back admiring her

1:49:01

collection. After

1:49:03

a moment she turned and went to her small

1:49:05

cramped office at the rear of the store. A

1:49:10

short time later she heard the ringing

1:49:12

of the small bell over the front

1:49:14

door signaling the arrival of a customer.

1:49:17

A young woman entered the shop and

1:49:20

began perusing the owls. Her

1:49:22

name was Blair and

1:49:24

she had a need. And

1:49:43

that was Madam Ona's shop

1:49:45

of curiosities by P.D. Williams.

1:49:48

A good reminder to use your

1:49:51

enchanted artifacts only as directed. A

1:49:53

little about the author, P.D.

1:49:55

Williams is an uncommonly handsome

1:49:57

author, composer, and multi-useter miniser.

1:50:00

list for North Carolina. He'd

1:50:02

like to remind everyone that his

1:50:04

latest collection of short horror fiction,

1:50:07

Dark House, Many Rooms, is still

1:50:09

available on Amazon and Audible. The

1:50:11

audiobook was narrated by some of

1:50:14

your well-known friends, Jeff

1:50:16

Helpe-Helpert in Sturtivant, Paul

1:50:18

J. Moosefucker McSorley, and yours

1:50:21

truly. True blood. For

1:50:24

fans of his redneck horror comedy

1:50:26

series starring Craig and Lorna Wankumoff,

1:50:28

a bundle of their first three adventures

1:50:30

will be available in late February at

1:50:33

the online stores I just mentioned. The

1:50:35

newest entry in the collection, Craig's Sea

1:50:37

Terror, will be released at the same

1:50:39

time as a novella. If

1:50:42

you'd like a book discount code for any

1:50:44

of his works or just to say howdy,

1:50:46

you can reach P.D.

1:50:49

at pdwilliamshorrorwriter at facebook.com

1:50:51

and on his website,

1:50:54

pdwilliamsauthor.com. Thanks

1:50:56

P.D. And do

1:50:58

old Drew Blood a favor, would you? Subscribe

1:51:00

to his podcast wherever you do your listening

1:51:02

and leave him a five-star review and a

1:51:05

kind word, even if you're listening on YouTube.

1:51:07

He needs soldiers on all fronts to win

1:51:10

this battle, and he appreciates it. To

1:51:12

hear a premium ad-free edition of

1:51:14

the Knights and all the other

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1:51:24

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Oh, and you can find True Blood

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Dark Tales Podcast is accepting submissions

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friend. If you've got a story

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1:52:08

to drewbloodhorror@gmail.com. If selected,

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you'll get the full treatment, 10

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bananas. Well,

1:52:22

I'm afraid this is where we part ways,

1:52:25

at least till next week. So

1:52:28

grab a drink for the road, friend. You

1:52:30

too, Billy, I know you're listening.

1:52:32

Let's finish this. A

1:52:35

big shout out to all the listeners and

1:52:37

all my friends out there, all the sweet

1:52:39

patrons, and I'd just like to say I

1:52:42

hope everyone has a wonderful week. So

1:52:45

may the wind be at your back, and may

1:52:47

the road rise up to meet you. And

1:52:50

until next week, Billy, I've got my

1:52:53

leotard ready at a moment's notice, and

1:52:55

all the rest of you can go fuck yourselves. I'm

1:53:01

sorry. Good night, y'all. So

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1:53:24

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