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0:58

Oh no, we're telling the story. What are you talking

1:00

about? Hold on, everybody hold on, we're about to start.

1:02

Okay, can we just talk about what we want to

1:04

talk about at the start then? What do you have

1:07

on your list? Why we're in this bed? Why

1:09

is it always my list? What's on your list? My

1:11

fat toe? Hey, what the fuck was that?

1:13

I don't know, why are you attacking me?

1:15

Felt good. Alright.

1:18

Two or four. Two or three. Two or

1:20

four. Wait, it wasn't Sal two or four?

1:22

No, Sal was two or five. Ready?

1:26

What's up guys, welcome to episode 205. No, hell, 204 dropouts.

1:32

I'd be wondering, 4G? So that

1:34

you'd be wrong. This is fellowship

1:37

among the sheets and that is

1:39

it. English sheets. Okay, we're

1:41

currently on tour right now. We just got

1:43

done with New York City. Fellows digging

1:46

into my hip. What base

1:48

is that? I think that's a foul ball. You

1:52

get an elbow on a rib, that's a foul ball, brother. It was my hip and

1:54

it was fine when we were just sitting but then you were talking

1:56

and you were like, I'm fulsing, digging. You're

2:00

not wearing? You like that so much? Oh yeah, you like

2:02

that? I don't know if you like

2:04

it, you can just say it. Oh yeah, you

2:06

like that? Sorry. No, no, you're totally fine. I

2:08

apologize for touching you inappropriately. Oh

2:11

god, I'm already overheating. Hold

2:13

on, I'm trying to get through this. Sorry. Just

2:15

did our, we're doing the East Coast tour right now.

2:18

We were just in New York City and now

2:20

we are in New Haven in a hotel. This

2:23

is the only bed that can almost fit all of us.

2:26

Barely. It

2:28

doesn't matter man. Anyway, hit

2:30

some intro music. Sorry,

2:41

you want to plug the Patreon this week? Sure.

2:44

You're never going to do it. You're going to do it in a sick

2:46

way though. You guys want to see extra footage of us in this bed? Join

2:52

the Patreon baby. Down below in

2:54

the description baby. You can see

2:57

the Patreon. Oh maybe

2:59

you can see it for a

3:01

seven day peak trial. Yeah, yeah.

3:03

Description down below. What do you

3:05

get? You get extra footage. What

3:07

else? Uh oh, early. Oh yeah.

3:10

You also get prizes every

3:12

month and possibly more down

3:14

below. Great job. You did great. Yeah,

3:17

you did great. Good job Tara. Okay,

3:20

we have a couple things to talk about. So,

3:23

should we get into how the live show was

3:25

or should we go ahead and just start throwing Jared on

3:27

the bus? Which one do we start off with first? We're

3:29

starting off with me under the bus? Oh yeah Jared. I

3:32

have no movement on my left arm. I'm

3:34

like, I'm going to throw it in the rack. Wait,

3:36

that's a stroke thing. Oh, why'd

3:39

you have to take it there? Wait,

3:41

what's a stroke? No, that 100% is

3:44

a prerequisite to a stroke. We

3:46

can't move the left arm. It's because my fat

3:48

ass is on top of it. No,

3:50

no, it's pain in the left arm is a

3:52

heart attack. She doesn't have a heart. No, I

3:54

meant like, hey, I meant like, I can't, it's just

3:56

stuck. But it looks like a death. Anyway, continue. For

3:59

All of you. That's good. The years as nice

4:01

we guy. So. Again and. I

4:04

already know the story know happened I was

4:07

a journal de now with you over the

4:09

last night of as with him I was

4:11

when I had. This

4:13

This is what happened so. We're.

4:15

New York City and

4:17

Jared. Jurors funding.

4:20

For. Feeling for some pheromones of the

4:22

opposite of god damn it isn't. So

4:24

he finds his little biddy in the

4:26

town that he wants to frequent to

4:28

his bedroom. That's on. Going to say

4:30

one thing leads to another. I don't

4:32

want to see any women's names but

4:34

does get. The woman in

4:37

her bed. With. Your dogs is

4:39

a woman in his bed at night

4:41

in the hotel room. I knew I

4:43

notice that the of it unfortunately Alyssa

4:45

injured were sharing a hotel room visits

4:47

each other for years. The have the

4:49

potential of coitus with this young woman.

4:52

Alyssa probably can be there unless Tuck

4:55

City was populated that then. Became

4:58

our Mrs. Weasley one the er calcium on the

5:00

floor. my. Know. Why

5:03

is everybody I die? Or rather letter in

5:05

the room and check this out. As a

5:07

know, that's not gonna happen when I'm less

5:09

sleep on the floor now. Soon

5:12

the pin that woman casual As for

5:14

years ago, hold on, hold on. When

5:16

we were when we were talking about

5:18

this before the trip you said they

5:20

you and Zach would share a bed

5:22

and then Alyssa would get her own.

5:24

So what happened to that not were

5:26

wounded there. There's actually there's a layer

5:28

of loves. There's layer problem. Singer Your

5:30

The biggest of our. Thurmond seem a

5:32

proud enough. Alyssa has her own fucking

5:34

problem that we're going to get into.

5:36

Visit them back on part and your

5:38

part. I'd be careful of the have zeroed.

5:41

Or Hawthorne Apologists. I

5:43

am sorry Alyssa, I'm very thankful

5:45

that you did this for me

5:47

and just know I would do

5:49

the same for you. Okay now moving

5:52

on So Alyssa, you are determined

5:54

Sad. And may be a pause will

5:56

be angry the you can sleep in a bedroom

5:58

with are totally that nice hotel. And

6:00

we had no extra bedrooms for you to sleep

6:02

in yet Skyler and

6:05

Zach offered to bunk up with each other. So well,

6:07

no in our room Wait, we want to do the

6:09

first part of this problem. I apologize go ahead. Okay,

6:11

so Tara's manager

6:13

had come to the show or come with us on

6:15

the first part of the tour She had

6:17

a hotel room under our with the

6:19

with the with our whole group She checked

6:21

out a day early to go back to LA so we

6:23

still had a room that was empty

6:26

So I was like Alyssa it's fine. We'll go downstairs

6:28

We'll get a key for Jenna's room. You can stay in

6:30

that Okay, she goes downstairs

6:32

that people are like, nope, you can't stay in

6:34

that. That's not her name We

6:42

spent $15,000

6:44

in rooms at this hotel. We made less at

6:47

our live show We're in the red because we

6:49

want everyone to stay in a hotel and be

6:51

able to sleep at night and not on the

6:53

street So mr. Hotel, I don't

6:55

know if I should say the name Mondrian Park I

7:00

Have four four four Park So

7:07

we had an extra room that Alyssa

7:09

could have stayed in that night So

7:12

Jared could experience that gushy gushy young

7:14

or we paid for and still had and nobody

7:16

was in Yeah, and so they wouldn't let us get

7:18

into it more or I could have gone into that

7:22

Tars manager had checked out of the

7:24

room early. She had to go home

7:26

early So she couldn't be there to

7:28

the last day. So we have this room still bought

7:31

it is still paid for paid for under

7:33

the same Card under the

7:35

sea and it would go so we were

7:37

like, okay, she checked out. Can we get a key

7:39

to it? They said no She has to have

7:41

that's her once she checks out. That's policy. I said, okay Well,

7:43

are we gonna get a refund for that room because no one's

7:45

saying it she goes no No, it was past noon. So we

7:47

are gonna have to charge you for it I

7:49

was looking at her like, you know, this is the dumbest

7:51

fucking thing The

7:55

hotel locks the room so no

7:57

one can go in it yet still charges us

7:59

for it And so then, check this out,

8:01

I was like, okay, here's what we're gonna do.

8:03

Alyssa, you're not gonna sleep on the floor. I

8:05

said, okay, turn back to the lady that was

8:07

getting on my fucking nerves. And she's like, this

8:09

is policy, this is what we do. And at

8:11

some point, we think, fine, it's your policy, let's

8:13

figure out another solution. Can we get a rollaway

8:15

bed? Can we get a trundle bed to put

8:17

in our room so maybe Alyssa can get some

8:19

shut eye. And Alyssa, what do you think someone

8:21

would say if you were spending $15,000 at a

8:23

hotel, if we just asked for a rollaway bed?

8:25

I would think they'd say, hell yeah. They

8:27

said, fuck no. They

8:30

said, our policy is you don't have

8:32

a suite so you don't get a

8:34

rollaway bed. And what does

8:36

a suite have to do with anything?

8:38

It's bigger. But we spent so

8:40

much money. Okay, and

8:42

then, wait, wait, there was more things. Oh,

8:44

wait, Skylar. Skylar wrote them a scathing email. Oh,

8:46

I did, yeah. Did you really? Whoa, I

8:48

didn't know about that part. I wanna hear

8:51

it, I wanna hear the email. Wait, but go

8:53

continue on to the booking, because we booked another

8:55

room. Oh yeah, and this is all gonna come back to Jared

8:57

being an awful person. But

8:59

Skylar was like, go to the front

9:01

desk and be like, just

9:04

get another room. Pay for another room for a

9:06

night, it's 300 bucks, whatever. I went down to

9:08

the front desk, they're like, no, we're sold out.

9:10

So I text Skylar, we're sold out. And then

9:12

they were like, and Skylar's text me back and

9:14

he goes, what are you talking about, they're sold

9:16

out. There's so many rooms on the site, like

9:19

booking.com or whatever it is. booking.com, they had six

9:21

open rooms on the site. So Skylar, are

9:23

you fucking serious? So I book one immediately.

9:26

I go back downstairs, and now

9:28

on my PJs. I'm like. Skylar's

9:31

high as a coyote. High as

9:33

a boy. High as our bloodshot.

9:36

I'm eating too many hot wings. I

9:39

was struggling. And so I go downstairs, I said, hey, I just booked

9:41

a room here. Yeah, she's coming from

9:43

the Allen Peak. I'm

9:45

with a big group, we booked another room here, give me the key.

9:49

Can I answer this really quick? This is a

9:51

grape snafu. Okay, hold on, pause. He's ordering grapes

9:53

on. Hello. Side

9:56

note, you guys call me a character, and you're like, Tara,

9:58

this, Tara, is that. This man just got. We

10:00

didn't write and if. Not. On an

10:02

order found it was up I will watch It

10:04

was one of the great it was a to

10:06

twenty pounds is right. And. Then some

10:08

hello to your dig it added on. What

10:11

about how I seldom a half of

10:13

your welcome the have that that assembly

10:15

I'm bring of a trade back on

10:18

the tracks? Yes Organisers. Him. Of his

10:20

as high as fuck and I said hey

10:22

surgery this we we ask me said we

10:24

have no hotels yeah online be so they

10:26

had hotels. he's downstairs after booking confirmation of

10:28

a hotel online. As he finds another

10:31

hour. Or so sorry

10:33

I'm enemy to return. Got a confirmation of are

10:35

going on says that hey look I put another

10:37

hotel here I am same here on his people.

10:41

He looks the mean. He's like will how

10:43

many acid called do I was as the

10:45

market as I just what's this thing off

10:47

like I'm booking.com There were six Ruthless He's

10:49

like yeah they're sold out I said okay

10:51

to let me say something funny brother I

10:53

know this is the wrong Mrs. What about.

10:57

As good as any other sectors of we'd

10:59

only the fucking thing clean. This diversity

11:01

will give back in there he like I can

11:03

do that as is what. Comments:

11:07

After almost a stroke that this is a so

11:09

I was there may money and oh and then

11:11

or them yelling at a now one on this

11:13

was so I bush was looking not com after

11:15

they did not let me get a room after

11:17

we already had a room with a woman is

11:20

an avid hoping I'd go back up. There are

11:22

pierced Alyssa has to leave the over thirty most

11:24

profound. Do. The Raid a friend's house

11:26

fucking jeered at N Y. Ahora! Hold

11:28

on what does note Note: You know

11:30

why I was in any way this

11:32

is a letter to sleep. There is

11:34

the listing portion of says he just

11:36

does your. Css.

11:39

Okay, so I and I got an email

11:41

after I go back upstairs after the fuck

11:43

this For the second time, a scholar just

11:45

got a message from Andre Import Properties message

11:48

dear Cel Horn on behalf of Modern Forecast.

11:50

For. For for New York and. Thank

11:53

you for staying with us. What? and like for

11:55

the room you both Yeah they they just i

11:57

think this is like to fuck with me. David

12:01

email they sent back think sustain with it has. Got

12:05

a daughter that's fine. How Are You Now

12:07

Essentially went through. None of that was so

12:09

that email I sent to the self corner the booked

12:11

us. And. Then that email came

12:13

from booking.com which came from hotel I wasn't

12:16

related to the mausoleum. They. Would assume

12:18

that after the room that cancelled they were just like. Hope

12:20

you had a great day. Owning on you're

12:23

in doubt about that. It wasn't here five

12:25

year it was on here and I was

12:27

cardiac That are trying to right now and

12:29

I'm typically a decent A A wordsmith but

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savings are waiting. Okay,

14:02

room situation. Holy shit, it's a novel.

14:04

Oh my god. I hope this email finds

14:06

you well. As you

14:08

know, we have a group reservation with you guys that runs until we

14:10

check out tomorrow morning. We had a

14:12

wonderful stay until just recently. When I find employees checked out

14:14

of their room today, we didn't realize that once they checked

14:16

out, we wouldn't be able to access the room. The front

14:19

desk is telling us we will still be charged for the

14:21

room since the employee checked out afternoon. We understand if it

14:23

was like a single individual situation with one room checking out

14:25

early, it wouldn't make sense

14:27

to let him have a friend have access to

14:29

the room. That's not the situation here. We

14:31

spent several thousand dollars the past few days and

14:35

it's asinine that we can't have access to the

14:37

room. Asinine. That's a word. I

14:39

came out of left field. Essentially

14:42

he had some hard words. Okay, this is the cherry

14:44

on top. After

14:47

all of this happens with the hotel, they know we're

14:49

not happy. They can't give us one yes. The

14:53

next morning we have to leave late so we're like

14:55

maybe we can spend another hour in the hotel. Let's

14:58

get a late check out for everyone. We go

15:00

downstairs. We look at the

15:02

person in the eye and we say, hey for tomorrow, do you

15:04

mind if we get a late check out? And

15:06

they look us directly in the eye and

15:08

say, you'd have to ask tomorrow. Oh

15:12

my god. But also we

15:14

had a million boxes from the live show.

15:16

All the like gifts bags were putting out

15:18

and Zoe asked them yesterday, the day before

15:21

we checked out. We got a lot of

15:23

boxes here. We know we have to check out early. Can we store them? They're

15:25

like, yeah, absolutely. We come down with all

15:27

these fucking boxes and they're like, absolutely not. Not

15:30

anymore. You're not getting these boxes. They're like dropped

15:32

on the floor. I was like, she goes, how many bags do you have?

15:34

And I said all that. And she goes,

15:36

and also all the front

15:38

desk people, Rudus. I mean, okay, no, that's wrong. Two

15:41

ladies were very sweet, very helpful. They did

15:43

rectify the situation with at least the boxes

15:46

after being kind of two of them. If you can

15:48

kiss my ass and not in a

15:51

pleasurable way. They were not nice. Anyway,

15:53

so so that I will say they were very

15:55

nice to me. Well, well, well,

15:58

if it isn't pretty pretty. Rablage, cum

16:00

la-dab, and a beer at the ugly head. When you

16:02

got two ugly mugs going down there trying to get

16:04

a hotel room back, they don't give you anything. I

16:06

bet if you go down there, start flaunting some chocolate

16:09

tits, you would probably get it. Okay, can you explain

16:11

the chocolate tits because no one's gonna get it? You explain

16:13

it. I had chocolate ice cream on my boob, which is

16:15

like, no one told me. Because we're respectable people,

16:17

also we thought it was a mole. Or

16:20

maybe a rogue raisin. No

16:22

one knew what it was, it could have been

16:24

anything. Long story short, I

16:26

had to drive 30 minutes to sleep on

16:28

a couch that I didn't want

16:30

to stay at all for Jared to cuddle. Oh

16:33

my god! Oh

16:36

my god! I came downstairs and said, Jared, please

16:38

tell me you kissed her. He goes, On the

16:40

cheek! Ah! Oh,

16:43

what was that? We had a

16:45

lovely night of c- Okay, cause here's the

16:48

thing. She had work at 5.45. You

16:51

could have put the kiss in and- I,

16:53

brother, I tried, okay? Oh

16:56

my god. Whoa, Mike. What the? But

16:59

listen, if you're cuddling, I don't think there's,

17:02

not that that's given- Looks like it had been in there. Not

17:04

that that's giving full consent, but I think you could

17:06

possibly look at her and be like, do you mind if I kiss you?

17:09

Cause I think she'd be open to it. I

17:11

thought asking for a kiss was cringey. It

17:13

has cringed a little bit, but you can say it,

17:15

you can ask in a way where it's not. Just

17:17

be like, baby, give me the- Just be like, I'm muchus. Or

17:19

like, I've tried so hard not to kiss you

17:21

tonight. Like just something- Right, and then she's like, oh please don't,

17:23

then you know it's not. Oh, god keep that in. That's

17:27

the rejection that I'm afraid of. So, wait, your

17:29

fear of rejection is

17:32

the reason Alyssa had to drive in there

17:34

in a minute. No, okay, what? If she

17:36

would have not have stayed in the same bed

17:38

as you, if she did not want to

17:40

kiss you. You

17:43

know, and that's an excellent point. Okay, but

17:46

here's the thing. I tried to softball it

17:48

at first with the cheek kiss. Okay,

17:50

and then- And then what happened? You

17:52

just went to bed? No, it was- Your inner

17:54

guest house already go to the front door

17:57

and kiss her. Come on, brother.

18:00

Right here. like I want to go to bed.

18:02

At we are going on and so my

18:04

size three to because I was we were

18:06

all out and everyone last and I'm like

18:09

a huge I'd love to see the baths

18:11

As you know go to pounds handling it

18:13

slide like you've disappointed. All of us

18:15

are all kinds of. A club

18:18

not by myself like all of you

18:20

last will, Jared gets a pass. He's

18:22

going to have a great night. With.

18:24

This call he has a crush on like

18:26

it'll the okay, I'll live. In

18:30

the bush I was. My

18:32

story and people are like. I. Mean,

18:34

thank God he's kicking around the room this time.

18:38

I'm like wow twenty four out

18:40

of it is also have been

18:42

last tour. Bike. When I heard.

18:46

The rule out about this okay but

18:48

melting ice melting hothouses the world from

18:50

around the not brother like there are

18:52

many. Wow, that is nothing wrong with

18:55

that but okay with it all. Makes

18:57

or wasn't as bad at all. Monitored

19:01

I would like to thank you for

19:03

the story though I was I would

19:05

like to thank you guys. I did not

19:07

realize how much effort to finish and

19:09

will vote for for was always spot

19:11

of us didn't trust me you didn't.

19:14

Get it. Sieges, I did the

19:16

the teachers and model and it

19:18

was fantastic Answers: As a positive

19:20

guy I had a angry somebody

19:22

because I have been starved of

19:24

that sort of level of affection

19:27

for a while and I com

19:29

since nine. One.

19:31

Reason. Or another

19:33

thing. As he as a day at least to me

19:35

for a funny story and no one actually have. Heard the

19:37

sound was Canada her sister. Overtone will say

19:39

no cigar modem or robbed them away. So

19:42

minor: Liberty Island Sound Zero they are for

19:44

that. Insane. They saw her ovaries the freedom

19:46

because they think should be such a wonderful

19:48

woman that they want to use it for

19:51

future generations. Dirt as you'll never be able

19:53

to mother this to do. That.

19:57

That's a compliment. Find the silver

19:59

lining. Wow, okay on that. Now to

20:01

some positives. we did you the live show.

20:03

I thought okay we did the grammarly theater

20:05

and they told us we have. Like.

20:08

The nicest. Fans. Last,

20:10

like the yeah, the best. The most

20:12

enthusiastic fans we've ever seen. Entire life

20:14

daily. When you're all just like this

20:16

glowing com a compliment you know that

20:18

you are the nicest people they've ever

20:20

met and that is such a an

20:23

awesome reflection of what was your try

20:25

to do. So apparently Tar has his

20:27

friends around the world because I'm sorry.

20:29

I go walk to the ago want

20:31

to the green room and I just

20:33

see news. I announced. Are

20:36

you serious gonna have an order Sit up like

20:38

a wonderful man? Oh my God. Androids ask me

20:40

They're like oh I'm so little your friends your

20:42

to come to the Green Room I'm I'm like

20:44

I've never met a single spare time you visit

20:46

Forty by people you to buy that are you

20:48

know some people New York City. I know so

20:51

many more. Social couldn't come see me same

20:53

thing from often and. Release either

20:55

Boston. Lager

20:58

edged out. Last

21:00

night I was of my friends

21:02

and my signed. And. As one of

21:04

her friends and of in the city. And he

21:06

has the right age of thirty

21:09

two rail. Know

21:11

that I don't out and only.

21:13

Our boy it doesn't matter what we will leave the bar

21:16

that we were all our any. We go outside you go

21:18

to not a bar and he pulls out a graffiti pan

21:20

into such. A

21:22

lot less I were. To God's

21:24

had a whole night is available. And

21:27

mean my friends, You don't know him. Even the

21:29

friend of mine does know. Him. When we go

21:31

to I asked him what he did for work and

21:33

he said I graffiti. And

21:36

I was a Sega or he doesn't know. It's all he

21:39

was. To that's not what he does. I don't think. The

21:41

one I don't say anything immediately, the security

21:43

guard and the thousand we go into going

21:45

to start. You can command you to sacrificing.

21:48

Our where. Either

21:51

we are disappointed and have a grand time for like

21:53

thirty minutes because it's not our. Problem that he tied to

21:55

the side of the building. Cities is waiting

21:57

outside. Yeah, cause that's how.

22:00

The wild thing to do. I just

22:02

know, I know. And even my friends with. Their

22:04

friend was like this is crazy for thinking well

22:06

you meet someone that you've ever met the right

22:08

my to do that is is insane and commit

22:10

thirty two years old. When like if you were

22:13

like, ah, I don't remember. I was

22:15

wrong. I was. what was

22:17

it? a tasteful peace and else as he was

22:19

his tag. Okay, I'll tell ya. gotta get a

22:21

tag The. I read it doesn't

22:23

really and anywhere that's the story. But we come

22:26

out like our that, my supervising sister,

22:28

one of my daughter. We. Want them

22:30

all sorts of that was really cool that I'll be

22:32

that guess I'm about it's a five Guys are sneaky

22:34

so that's a five Guys out there. Is

22:38

a really fun part is and way secure. The

22:40

funny part about the bar see that's the cool

22:42

thing about your. There's I'm where I

22:44

go to the bathroom. And. There

22:46

is a million. Door. Knobs to

22:48

get out. so drawing and like

22:51

which door knob the thought of

22:53

that will say about. Via

22:56

their if he would try to the. Last

22:59

I was super. That's alright for

23:01

cases you bash. We gots like

23:03

security guard. Winter,

23:05

another bar any we know that by one with

23:07

Underground I was. So have. Yet

23:10

to downstairs his actual role five guys and

23:12

then you walk in and as a security

23:14

guard you like wiser security guard parents to

23:16

their them speak easy affairs with was a

23:18

really fun longer limited. Or cool that's groovy

23:20

battle is that this reminds me is also

23:22

Leslie. Everybody goes as the karaoke bar or

23:24

meet him there I realize it one hundred.

23:26

My Tommy I walk outside the said I

23:28

see a a taco truck and remote enough

23:30

to pursue my hunger but we're in New

23:32

York. I'm in New York alone of military

23:35

bases for I'm going to go out I'm

23:37

going to go to lose of a walking

23:39

i see you know taco truck and when

23:41

maybe this is a zine know. Who's.

23:43

His bread crumbs to the best new

23:45

of homeless I look list. I. See

23:47

maybe the richest, fanciest place.

23:51

Is that the best restaurant I've ever seen in

23:53

my entire life? and I'm wearing a hoodie a

23:55

hot and everyone in there is. Just when he

23:57

said he drifts to the nice rest to the

24:00

ten the even have a bullshit but instead I

24:02

walk in and are like. Humbling.

24:04

New will be dining with Eugenides and I

24:06

said with a friend what is it was

24:08

for their as a just one brother He

24:10

said i've got a great table. Light.

24:13

A candle at a candlelit dinner when you're

24:15

by yourself, if kinda with dinner by myself.

24:17

Were. So gained access or you i

24:19

don't look at the menu will I'm

24:21

on are you thought wow all of

24:23

your friends were our in he said

24:25

ali to grab food real quick okay

24:27

because of how our interests like several

24:29

other line and you'd go us handle.

24:32

When I heard it just me or

24:34

three blocks away I clocked and. I

24:36

do like. It. Has long

24:38

been the way he describes as. Candlelight

24:41

dinner out expected longer. Really?

24:44

Oh yea, I know I I let him like

24:46

what amounts football isn't. Even

24:49

there are no it wasn't a wise guy.

24:51

sometimes guy gives you North Star is gonna

24:53

follow. So I walk in and I did

24:55

not look at the many beforehand but when

24:58

you're already using the complimentary bread you gotta

25:00

be consistent with enormous the meal for yeah

25:02

I look there and the cheapest steak is

25:04

one hundred dollars. Oh my fucking God. Yeah.

25:06

so I'm like about a bite the bullet

25:08

about a be out of. I

25:10

bet m zero money arms. but

25:13

then. I'm. Like okay whatever I'm

25:15

just putting our myself this as a matter that

25:17

I'm going to take some jeered is he's like

25:19

yo dude where yeah. I

25:22

just gimme physics stay there and

25:24

I'm like. Okay he's a

25:26

hungry know I'm like okay dirt and

25:28

the girl he's with are better come

25:30

eat dinner with I now have and

25:33

only the girl shows arms now okay

25:35

well I like of my fault years

25:37

that it is T now you're I

25:39

am a candlelit dinner with a girl

25:41

you love smart enough to unravel I've

25:43

seen how that my from one got

25:45

a table with denouncing it's we could

25:47

rise also is used to school is

25:50

hop of drugs you walk the beautiful

25:52

woman to consume calories you go with

25:54

or to consume com I. Saw and I

25:56

feel like of my okay we know how. Did

25:58

you pay for me? I'm

26:01

not a what in I will you will

26:03

fulfill. So to the girl that I like

26:05

on a candle with the with the night

26:07

of her dreams and and on my family

26:09

wise I just got a. Smoker

26:13

for me? Answer. She

26:16

was of issues actually being very cordial and

26:18

there was a burger on the menu and

26:20

she was only on to the burger. Intimate

26:22

details and Susan, I mean. I

26:25

see women bad. I mean this beautiful

26:27

say grown together the visuals and was

26:29

there mash potatoes I think God mass

26:31

themselves and and then they get disgusted.

26:34

And brother does you have as a as

26:36

you like about you was zone as ever.

26:38

Thought about what I'm doing later of the

26:41

i'm busy but a nutshell I didn't see

26:43

this is in in the sit in that

26:45

same day. I. The I have

26:47

bought her a smoothie early figures as

26:49

they've Oh and I mean I was

26:52

thinking about the smoothie was as a

26:54

jew center a son. Did

26:57

you sooner a slip through the hotel we I

26:59

don't we so good the whole joseph I do

27:01

just want to say that the hotel were saying

27:03

and now the on the on how the announce

27:06

how new haven you has been Fantastic Vegas and

27:08

my wonderful the real bad. Were. Coming

27:10

here. definitely. sigh worrying. Talk about no idea

27:12

that I'm so sorry. rather idea that there's

27:14

no rules were you doing to bed pod

27:16

us a Taco Bell's not last as long

27:18

as not. Great for worse. Other

27:21

up and I don't think it's really. Weird. I've ordered

27:23

Sounds of Grapes and it's only that's. How

27:25

great! Every time I walk and you have an outdoorsy

27:27

still. Holding a bag of Grayson munching on that.

27:30

I think it's it's little. Meet you take it

27:32

a man may food when this man just ordered.

27:35

Like a delicious fruit. The used to be the

27:37

Garden of eden. The make fun of them.

27:39

we want to me out alone. The great directly

27:41

Clearly brother God made a great villain. Late

27:43

it came out and came into. The.

27:46

Soil around me later in life. Look me

27:48

in the eyes and tell me you like

27:50

cleaning up your kitchen. Yeah, you'd be a

27:52

liar. Look me in the eyes and tell

27:54

me you like to waste time cooking after

27:56

a long day of work. Yeah, you'd be

27:58

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subscription plan thank you him but our we have

30:35

been wake up like super early but thankfully we

30:37

brought would below magic mine Things are gonna take

30:39

a look for jobs have been Blake the saving

30:41

grace of the trip when we go up when

30:44

we don't fired you spot in the morning I

30:46

do want to bring up the do spot. Okay,

30:49

Oh first off with about the box

30:51

and that we got royally up the

30:53

i don't know we we we it

30:55

was just talked about the juice but

30:57

I guess someone is workouts. Are we

30:59

going to work out Target? Want to

31:01

go absorber the hand as now either

31:03

shopping nuts waste More pleasant for a

31:05

while yet goods are losing. horrible evolving

31:07

cool. I don't like

31:09

how much will get the cameras on us out.

31:11

Dine out. there are others where are the like

31:13

seven and she was a series of like and

31:15

I was. Snuff film

31:18

and your demise. It breeds. Them

31:20

have messed up thing about boxing. I

31:22

context we did a boxing class with viewers

31:25

like hey come here if you want to

31:27

do a job for this class with us

31:29

we thought we'd walk in and pretend to

31:31

do cardio didn't others instructor the new all

31:33

of our names and were hollis doubt if

31:35

he were working out hard a sack as

31:37

pick it up Over there are other thread

31:39

if I was like why did you suffer

31:41

fuck that allows say it as or New

31:43

yorker of ours ours yeah I was saying

31:45

fuck he the him he found given fucking

31:48

to Robbie with no Robbie fucked us on

31:50

our he said when I sat at all

31:52

our. A nightmare is so bad I feel

31:54

like. I did has acted like intuition

31:56

I knew it wasn't gonna be fine. I was

31:58

like honestly. I say wow I. I personally had the best

32:00

time. Ooh, I don't know about that. I

32:02

had a pretty good time too. It

32:05

was good to get the energy out. During the workout

32:07

it sucked afterwards. Fantastic. And also we have been doing

32:09

a lot, or at least I

32:11

have been doing a lot of drinking on this

32:13

trip. So it was good to sweat some of

32:15

that out. OK, so our bodies were feeling strenuous

32:17

and we need the refuel. So Alyssa was like,

32:19

I really want to go to this smoothie

32:22

juice place. Wait, wait, wait. Before you

32:24

get into that, can I just say that

32:26

the boxing things were so messed up because

32:28

we sat under the boxing things where you

32:30

punch, you had to do sit ups and

32:33

then punch the bag. I couldn't reach the

32:35

dang bag. I was so

32:37

sure. I didn't even think about it. I was

32:39

punching the air. I didn't even do anything for

32:41

me. I cannot wait to see that. God, anyway.

32:43

Yeah, but thank you, Gritboxing, for having us there.

32:46

And thank you to Lord Almaty for making it

32:48

funny for her not be able to reach the

32:50

boxing thing. OK, anyway, we need

32:52

to be nourished. Our body needs to

32:54

be nourished. Alyssa's like, I got a juice spot.

32:57

We go to the juice spot. Wait,

32:59

I love that it just says juice crisis. That's

33:01

what you wrote as your note. Oh, we're going to get into

33:04

it. So we're being filmed

33:06

outside. And Skylar and I pretend we're

33:08

newscasters. Yeah, well, there's a film crew

33:10

all throughout. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're

33:13

guys going to get behind the scenes of this whole tour.

33:15

We're filming it. So

33:17

everyone goes inside except for me and Skylar. And

33:19

we pretend we're news anchors. And

33:22

we have these voices. They're like, hi, welcome to

33:24

New York City. Welcome to New York City. The

33:27

1920s news cast. Exactly. OK, so

33:29

we were just doing like, New York City, a

33:33

car crash happened on Fifth Avenue. Shit like that. Wait, I love this. Can

33:35

you tell me this all the time? But listen, here's what happened.

33:38

You're not going to want to say that in a second. You're

33:40

about to be on the wrong side of history. Wait, what?

33:42

OK, so the name of the restaurant was

33:45

Juice Generation. And me and Zach were like, dude, it's kind

33:47

of funny. We could just talk about how there's a big

33:49

juice crisis because everyone keeps going to Juice Generation. And so

33:52

we're like, welcome to New York City where there's a big

33:54

juice crisis. The

33:56

juice crisis of 2024. A list that came out. We see 50 people walking

33:58

around. by, ma'am, have you

34:00

heard about the juice crisis? And

34:02

people are looking at us, and then, we've got a couple fist bumps,

34:05

we didn't know what it meant. Have you heard about the juice crisis?

34:08

If you don't know, if you don't look at the sign, and

34:12

you don't enunciate. Oh no, that's terrible. It

34:15

sounds a lot like a juice crisis. It sounds

34:17

like we're saying, Jew crisis, to

34:19

50 people in the middle of New York City. And

34:21

it's all on camera. And we didn't know that. And

34:23

it's all on camera. Until Alyssa came out and was

34:25

like, what the fuck are you saying? I came out,

34:27

my mouth dropped, and I was like, what

34:29

are you doing? No, no, no, what are you

34:31

guys doing? What were y'all doing? Are you guys just

34:34

letting that happen? You guys just kept your mouth shut.

34:36

The film crew thought the entire time we were saying

34:38

the Jew crisis. That's terrible. And they let it happen.

34:40

So I think it's their fault a little bit.

34:43

So we do want to apologize to juice, what is

34:45

it? Generation. Juice generation. You might be getting protested a

34:47

little bit. You might, but there might be a couple

34:50

protests outside. That's our bad. That's on us. We didn't

34:52

mean to do it. But

34:54

it did happen. And I saw Mark Norman, same day.

34:57

I can't believe you didn't say anything to him. I

35:00

said hello. You said, I said pardon me, brother.

35:03

That's it. I don't

35:05

know where you guys were this morning, but when I woke up,

35:07

by the way, I didn't know we were checking out today. So

35:10

I woke up to two texts. I go through texts from Alyssa

35:12

and Zach, two separately, not in a group chat or anything.

35:14

Like good news, early, we got like

35:16

checkout. I'm like, we're checking out today. I

35:19

literally woke up and I was like, what? I

35:21

thought we had another day here. So I packed really

35:23

quickly. And I don't know what you guys did, but

35:25

I went to brunch with my friend Alyssa, not

35:28

this Alyssa, another Alyssa. More

35:31

of a friend Alyssa. Yeah, less of a

35:33

hatred towards Alyssa. No, shut up. There's

35:36

two Alyssas on the trip. So it's been a little confusing, but we

35:38

figured it out. And it's

35:40

this really cute brunch spot. And

35:42

we're sitting in this like, when I tell you this

35:44

man was just gorgina,

35:46

gorgeous. Like black

35:48

long hair and like a headband nose

35:50

ring accent, some kind

35:52

of foreign accent. So the T, you're tight. No, not

35:55

my type, but it's just really gorgeous. It

35:57

just looks like a foreign male

35:59

model. has an aura of aesthetic pleasure.

36:02

What? Yeah, that's one way to

36:04

say it. Hantime is. Just super hantime. Yeah. Like

36:07

your mom would find me hantime. Yeah. Like generically hantime,

36:09

your mom would find me hantime, I find me

36:11

hantime. Yeah. Anyone would find this guy good looking,

36:13

right? He's our waiter and he's just like making

36:15

this intense eye contact with me and I'm like,

36:17

I look at him and I'm like, am I

36:19

crazy or is this man like literally staring into

36:21

my soul? And she's like, no, no, no. He

36:23

is intensely looking at you, Tara. And so I'm

36:25

like, whatever, he sees this. And then at

36:27

one point he goes, like he's staring at

36:29

me so closely. He's like, I'm so sorry. And his

36:31

accent, I don't even want to do it. I don't want to butcher. He's

36:33

like, I just like, you have the most beautiful eyes I've ever

36:35

seen. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. And he's going like this and he's

36:37

backing away from me. And I'm like. I think

36:40

you just found your soulmate. Right. And

36:42

I was just like. And I'm like, and

36:44

I just stood there and I just didn't know what to say the whole

36:46

time. And the whole time he would like take our orders and come back.

36:49

I couldn't even look at him. Cause I was just so flustered. He

36:51

said early into the. He said it when we sat down. Now

36:53

that's a move of a man with a chisel jaw. Oh

36:56

yeah. That's a man with a

36:58

conversation with that bone on his own, on his old face.

37:00

That's all I had to say. I was flustered this morning.

37:02

If I ever wanted to say that to a girl, I

37:05

would be like, if I was serving them, it

37:07

would be after I dropped the check. I'd be almost

37:09

to the back of the restaurant. Right. You

37:11

have a little yes. Right. No, he was

37:13

like, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Keep looking. I'm

37:16

sorry. I'm

37:18

sorry. I'm sorry. I

37:20

was like, it's okay. I think I said it's okay. Because

37:23

it's like, you can't think I'm sorry. I'm like, you can stare at

37:25

me. I was so

37:27

embarrassed. It's kind of one of those people that

37:29

you look at and you create a life. Yeah.

37:31

Oh, and then I asked him where he was from at the very end of

37:33

that. Cause we were placing bets. Where is he from?

37:35

Columbia. Oh. A Colombian

37:38

accent. Oh, a Colombian

37:40

daddy. Jared, he's

37:42

there. My brother went to Columbia. Not the same. So

37:44

Zach has, this made me laugh. I have no clue

37:46

what I want to talk about. And sometimes you wake

37:48

up in the middle of the night, and you're like,

37:51

I'm gonna write things. I forgot I wrote this. I'm

37:53

almost certain this came from a dream. It's not real.

37:56

Cause I'm on the dark parts of the web. And I've never

37:59

seen anything about it. Conspiracy. I heard period. I

38:01

heard the government is paying gages not to

38:03

smile. What? I don't know why it's

38:06

there. That can't be right. It is a rumor that

38:08

I heard, I think. There is no way you heard

38:10

that. What do you mean? Because of how much joy

38:12

they bring us. Like, you know,

38:14

the gays are the smiling people. You think they're

38:16

getting like a monthly stipend to just be sad?

38:19

Not smile. Similar to the COVID one. Yes, yes,

38:21

yes. I don't know why I thought that, but

38:23

it is in my notes. Brother, where you taken

38:25

before bed? Oh man, the will

38:27

to live. Oh my God, one

38:30

time I took, not melatonin, the other

38:32

thing, magnesium, a magnesium pill. And

38:34

I had the craziest nightmares all night. Nightmares?

38:37

I had nightmares with melatonin. I had nightmares if I have

38:39

sweets before bed. If I eat, oh my God, I had

38:41

Taco Bell before bed last night, which now I, and now

38:44

I, Yeah, again, which now I

38:46

hear you, I understand. Maybe I eat Taco Bell

38:48

too as much as you eat grapes. When I had Taco Bell last night,

38:50

I was drunk. Coming from the club, let me live. And

38:53

I had the craziest dreams all night. The most

38:55

realistic dreams all night. I woke up every hour

38:57

being like, is this real? I checked my phone,

38:59

I'm like, did this man actually text me? Oh.

39:02

I woke up and forgot where I was. Oh,

39:04

you were at a random person's house. Yeah. This

39:06

morning? Not random, but yeah. Sorry about that. Hi.

39:11

I woke up at night, oh no, it's not room bed. Speaking of not

39:13

knowing where to go, this

39:15

podcast is being done in

39:18

our videographer's hotel room and

39:20

she texts us 1413 is

39:22

the hotel room number. And

39:25

I read 1013. And

39:29

we were in 1014, we were jazzed about a day

39:31

before. We had socks on, we didn't think

39:33

we'd have to take an elevator, so we go over, we

39:36

knock. Pretty hard knock. We hear shuffling, and you know how

39:38

you can just. Tell it someone's terrified on the

39:40

other side of the room. That's what I

39:42

got. I heard the brushing fragrance of

39:44

a female somehow. Like I knew that

39:47

there was an estrogen human behind that

39:49

wall and we felt bad because

39:51

imagine looking through the peephole, seeing two

39:54

dames. Basically seeing a bowling alley. Yeah,

39:56

bowling alley. Yeah, you're a pin or a

39:58

bowl of bowl. I'm

40:02

an American citizens to. Hold

40:06

on, we get to sort of

40:08

up for. The

40:13

worst, Know it. I can be such. As

40:21

he can it's and when we also sooner to

40:23

tell her that is something that people think sometimes.

40:26

But soon Zero know I have to

40:28

get out this way. Who? A

40:33

total. Oh I

40:35

didn't have known as so even my dog

40:37

this whole trip and I ever I would

40:39

say things to the might when she turned

40:42

around and say i'll be like. This.

40:44

Is Jared Kushner up as and I'm

40:46

a racist says what's the answer Was

40:48

back because she is waging an she's

40:51

not happy with you. Because you

40:53

know I'm just saying I I would

40:55

I would go. Handshakes are

40:58

way better than bowing assists.

41:00

and ah yes you are

41:02

on mattresses little. Caesars

41:04

I Rise. Is. Being I

41:06

was so far I've been saying

41:08

I've been drunk every single my

41:10

addict this up as we watch

41:12

and saying discreet he i feel

41:14

I can only mean I just

41:16

something of evil S P. O

41:20

have a semi. Auto.

41:23

Let me know when you are So I went to

41:25

the that like. Ah ok, I'm going

41:27

p right now so don't less than.

41:29

An hour or so bad because I

41:32

like. Your. Modem

41:34

and. Deny. That

41:37

in your ride up in there is not allowed

41:39

to the might sides of an apology or twenty

41:41

six hundred dollars each. I didn't know there are

41:43

that expenses and don't put on a body that's

41:45

not as expensive as that as I had to

41:47

search for she wraps because of my was she

41:50

wraps the my pack and a condom. Would.

41:52

You accept remind our Vic's for such

41:54

an expensive those other that will allow

41:56

martha act an actual for hunches the

41:58

ones with wouldn't. After they

42:00

are I. Actually, maybe put one

42:03

on the next time because I almost

42:05

feel as a small sotto voce. On.

42:07

All yeah, which is largely Jared

42:09

Small half of what's your hurry.

42:12

Average, but I agree. The I

42:14

hear. Me okay

42:16

because Saturday. When

42:20

we were in the karaoke bar that you

42:22

wanted to go shop for shot and I

42:24

was drinking doubles I was charging these doubles

42:26

Yes I would say of gotta hurry up

42:28

was. It was while I was he. Listens isn't

42:30

to talk My cousin. And. You

42:33

for towards. Bhargava the

42:35

soviet of our generation is esther Go

42:37

to some. Know it's been as as li

42:39

mind that in my duties as I. Lay

42:41

like Google search your I hear, yeah,

42:44

digital often to the land a monkey

42:46

we heard about was uncertain or usable

42:48

human asking. Think of have you would like to sing along. With

42:51

a record of interview for left for now

42:53

because I was actually matte no I know

42:55

that would be about it. A moose path

42:57

with us it was. No. No

43:00

No. I was rude and is everyone admit

43:02

it was read. I. Think we're disagreeing with

43:04

you. Know. I don't think

43:06

the heard my side. I didn't think you're

43:08

gonna ayers goodbye. I'm sure you're right behind

43:10

me. He said what I use. A. Bite

43:12

of my friends friend and not me. I don't care who

43:14

it, who I was talking to I don't ever the present

43:17

a fucking I think you think about. Those know

43:19

Cathy was happening. You. Look that

43:21

you're an intimate with you about your intimate conversation

43:23

I was in houses was know that us were

43:25

face to face talking to each other and I

43:27

thought it was a fire was my big oil

43:30

know will listen. And. He does it, does it

43:32

is. Now. The does not have a global has

43:34

anyways know not what you want to interrupt

43:36

interest. You may find and you really need I feel

43:38

about. That No, I don't Because as soon the morning.

43:41

This. Was not like we're at issues over with. I.

43:43

Understand, But it's like we go out, we want to have

43:45

fun and you're just killing the vibe or not. I

43:47

went our only be to for you or

43:49

and. Don't com of is just for me. Utomi you want

43:52

me to com? So I came to the one that

43:54

everyone out of the times as.com. or

43:57

the other up to attend human everly all

43:59

of that I was there for

44:01

two hours. No you weren't you

44:03

were had a steak dinner and then came for

44:05

I was that steak dinner for I was there for two

44:07

hours at steak dinner for 35 minutes. You

44:10

left at 1130 Okay,

44:13

this is this is right where you came 1114 you

44:16

came into the bar Was

44:18

in the bar before that you film that way later I

44:25

wasn't drunk you came in and I immediately oh that's

44:27

here and you went over there on the end of the table Everyone

44:29

went out. So it's like okay. Everyone's going out. We're trying to have

44:31

a good time. Yeah, we're in New York Anyway

44:37

that does have a fear of karaoke because one time

44:39

we did it together I didn't ask him to sing

44:41

I know but just that just the just the Surroundings

44:45

he does get freaked because we were on a cruise one

44:47

time and we picked we got talking to doing karaoke We

44:50

picked a song that we didn't realize it's like six minutes. Yeah

44:55

What's everyone go to karaoke song Oh

44:57

I know What

45:00

yours bohemian rap city what you're like, what's the

45:02

next like what? Thanks.

45:05

Don't stop believing. That's a good one.

45:07

That's a good one. Like I do friends in

45:09

low places That's also a good

45:11

one Is

45:16

where the whiskey drown then the beer

45:18

chases my blues away Never heard that

45:20

last time I didn't everybody carry you

45:23

I've told the story in here before

45:25

I don't I think was a lot

45:27

like last one in New York, but

45:29

when I did karaoke, I was in Panama City

45:31

hammered I did crowd work When

45:37

I say I sang maybe three words I

45:39

was shit-drunk I made Probably

45:41

like people were timing like 40 bucks. You were tipping

45:43

me. They were so good I

45:47

don't thank you. And then I made out with a

45:49

60 year old woman for a long time In

45:52

front of her daughter and he had to pay the daughter $20

45:57

She asked him she's like you have to pay me $20 for like ruining my

45:59

life because my mom's married. And in my

46:01

defense, that's gonna come off wrong. The woman, she came over

46:03

and she was like, you are such a good singer, and

46:05

she kissed me. I was like, oh, thank you, that's, she

46:07

was probably like 50, she wasn't 60, I was exaggerated there.

46:10

But she kept kissing me, and I was like,

46:13

why is she still kissing me? To the

46:15

point, while I was tired, like

46:17

it drained me. Who's the old

46:19

man? Like old man, old woman. Like

46:21

she's an old woman, but you're like, I'm drained

46:23

from kissing her. Oh, I know, yeah, I'm the old man.

46:25

I was tired, I needed to, I was like, what is going

46:27

on? But when you kiss, like it's reversed, so when you kiss

46:29

someone young, you transfer their

46:31

youth. Maybe she. No, hold on, you

46:34

transfer your youthful energy into her, so

46:36

she feels spry, and then you're attracting

46:38

her, like not elderliness, but a little

46:40

more miles on the

46:42

odometer. Yeah, she did the, what's the bitch

46:44

with the long hair? What's her name? Rapunzel.

46:47

What's the name of the kid's movie? Raparticle.

46:51

Tangled. Tangled. Isn't there an old woman in

46:53

there that does the same thing? What? I

46:56

have no idea. Reverse ages? Flower, demon, glow,

46:58

let your power shine. She did that,

47:00

she was singing that actually. She

47:03

kissed me. Wait, was I in the live-action

47:05

version of Tangled without knowing it? Wait,

47:08

I thought the person who decreased your

47:10

age was this, uh, Snow

47:13

White. You got it. The apple? No, he

47:16

just sleeps. No. Poison apple.

47:18

That's Sleeping Beauty. Yeah, no. There's Snow

47:20

White. And that's Snow White, yeah. Dammit.

47:23

No. Huh? Sleeping

47:25

Beauty, brother, it's in the title.

47:27

There's definitely one, Sleep to Walk. That's

47:30

something we probably can't argue. Oh, speaking

47:32

of sleeping, I'm literally falling asleep, like going

47:35

to a REM cycle on the fucking bus, and you

47:37

wake me up. I was pissed. I didn't

47:39

wake you up. Yes, you did. Okay,

47:41

you were trying to draw a dick

47:43

on my face when I was sleeping.

47:45

It's because he woke me up. You know when like,

47:47

you know when like someone like bullies you and then

47:49

you bully someone back? That's when it

47:51

happens. Zach woke me up, so I was like, I don't know, get her up. I

47:54

want Jared to suffer too. I had a nightmare, so

47:57

I woke up from a nightmare, and then I needed

47:59

to grab like. like the nearest friend you were across

48:01

from me, I grazed your hand with a pinky

48:03

and you wake up and act like I committed

48:05

Armageddon too. But I will

48:07

say when you did the grazing, like an apocalypse.

48:09

You could only graze cause you had the other

48:11

camera up through your video, you had your camera.

48:14

Yeah, you were filming me. Huh? Cut

48:16

to a clip. Yeah, but you're a content creator in case

48:18

you wanted it for later. I don't want you waking me

48:20

up when I'm finally falling asleep on a two and a half

48:22

hour bus tour last Friday. I touched you with a percentage

48:24

of my body that probably can't even be calculated. I was

48:26

like a little pinky. A little pinky? So

48:28

feel safe. I wanted the

48:31

special moment where you would comfort him for his

48:33

nightmares. Yeah, imagine this. Okay, when we're separated from

48:35

each other and I pinky you and

48:37

I can't pinky you. Listen, and I can't pinky you. I have

48:39

it on my phone so that I can watch the video and

48:41

it'll come from me right back to sleep when I'm alone. Aw.

48:44

Aw, geez. Thank you, Zach. I'm

48:46

over-hanging, guys. I'm over-hanging. Oh my

48:48

God, it's bad. Like, we're dripping

48:50

sweat. Wait, wait. It was a

48:52

great day. I was just kidding. Oh, this is a

48:54

great day. Grace, we apologize. Grace, I'm so kidding. Grace,

48:58

don't worry. We are very hot. I got a sparkle.

49:00

God, actually, my panther's gonna come down like a big

49:02

one. A sparkle smells like sweat. Whoa. It's

49:04

not smell. I can't believe that. Wait, what were you saying

49:06

on the streets of New York that dirt? Oh,

49:08

God damn it. This is another thing where

49:10

you're throwing it in the box. You pooped yourself.

49:13

I didn't poop myself. Yes, you did. And all

49:15

of New York knows it. Yeah,

49:17

you made it known, okay? But I

49:19

didn't do it. Okay, so essentially what happens is

49:21

that- Room service called us. Can you hold on

49:23

one second? Wait, what? This

49:25

is what happens. Anytime we need to go anywhere, we

49:27

have set times, we have a schedule, we're professionals. Hey,

49:30

we gotta go here at this time, all

49:32

the time we do this to events. And

49:34

Jared decides two minutes before he has

49:36

to be downstairs that he's gonna throw

49:39

his bowels as hard as

49:41

he can out of his body. I can't poop

49:43

in public, and so I need to get it

49:45

out. But why can't you poop like 10 minutes

49:48

before we leave? Because I did- I was in the room. Exactly.

49:51

No, no, no. In any other case, every

49:53

time we go out, I don't care if we're going to Target. We're

49:56

leaving at 1.30, 1.28, you're in there. Can

49:59

you also- Not to throw you on

50:01

the bus, but you also did that when we were leaving from the bus like

50:03

I gotta go poop And you went to the bathroom. I

50:06

right before we have okay because the thing is

50:08

is like I Don't have

50:10

to poop until that moment because I

50:12

get nervous and scared that I'm gonna

50:14

have to poop in public and Shoot

50:18

to the out of you and then yes,

50:20

shoot it out. It takes us quick 15.

50:22

It's not a quick 15 I can't say

50:24

the jir I can't poop it like home

50:26

and like Belks exactly. Oh

50:30

If you ever have to go to the bathroom, yeah, you

50:32

go to a mall you find a distance one way in the

50:34

back We want to know one really wants

50:36

to go to no good stores in here You

50:38

throw your cheeks on the porcelain that thing comes out

50:40

better than you ever seen before Yeah, I always find

50:42

the end bathroom stall because I don't want someone

50:44

on either side of me I like to have

50:46

a wall a good a good hack is

50:49

go to like I go to Belks But go to if

50:51

you can't find a belt if you're a man women I'm not

50:53

sure if you're a man go to like a woman's Clothing

50:56

store that has a restaurant. Oh That's

51:00

why I go to bail and cement that

51:02

bathrooms never touched. No, oh my

51:04

never It always gets off without a hitch. That's

51:06

the smartest thing I think I've ever heard Well,

51:08

I pass. I'm so really good today that

51:10

restaurant. We're in it at lunch today, New

51:13

York. Oh, yeah Well, you went in I

51:15

tried it after I did poop

51:17

roses. I do secrete fragrance. Yes

51:20

Skyler has a girlfriend story. I wanted to

51:22

tell it. I have it written down if you don't mind so

51:24

I had this girlfriend once and I

51:27

was at her house and We

51:30

had partaken in a little bit of

51:33

some drugs not a lot Okay, he's

51:35

not part of the deer group and we were we were

51:37

in her house. It was freezing. It was like 58 degrees

51:39

She had just moved there. She didn't forgot to turn on

51:41

the heater So I was like laying in

51:43

her bed underneath the covers she was sitting on top of the

51:46

bed much like you were and Her

51:48

roommate came home her roommate was always a little I've met

51:50

her a few times a little weird She comes into the

51:52

room sits on the bed with us odd It's

51:55

like probably I fourth time I met her. I mean you

51:57

guys were kind of having like an intimate. Yeah Yeah,

52:00

we were just yeah, we'd make dinner together if

52:02

you're under the covers with your lady and you're

52:04

a friend You don't come in and sit on

52:06

the bed and then expect fellowship with them. No,

52:08

definitely Yeah, that's a while that I was fully

52:10

clothed. She was fully clothed as well the woman

52:12

comes in and she's like Oh,

52:14

how you doing to us? I'm like, oh we're good

52:16

You know, we're just freezing out some under the covers and

52:19

she was like, you know What I think would would

52:21

make your girlfriend jealous if I gave mr. Horny my

52:23

last name's horn She's like if I

52:26

gave mr. Horny a raspberry, okay, but why'd

52:28

she go straight for the jealous part? I don't

52:30

I there was a yeah, I don't know how

52:32

it got there more again there was a little bit of a drug

52:34

involved, but so she was like

52:37

give mr. Horny a raspberry and Girlfriend

52:40

didn't really have my back shouldn't say a word and

52:43

I was like, there's no way she's about to give

52:45

me a raspberry So I don't have to say a

52:47

word. She lifted my oh my god. I thought you

52:49

had the fruit. No, no, no She

52:51

lifted my shirt up and blew on

52:53

my belly button similar

52:55

to this On

52:58

my neighbor assault that is you're

53:01

a victim and I was just like And

53:03

then she just leave or did she stay she said it

53:05

for second And I didn't

53:07

say I was just like what happened because at first

53:09

I was like I am sort of high did that

53:11

happen Oh, they know it definitely happened And

53:14

she left like a raspberry like the fruit.

53:16

God. I wish okay now listen to this So

53:18

they obviously is this girlfriend they had sex that

53:20

night and it wasn't anything rough

53:22

missionary. I assume that's your specialty they

53:25

call him the missionary assassin back in the day and

53:29

You know the next day after quit. This has been

53:31

had this wasn't even the next day. She does later

53:33

Oh, they go out on the town and

53:35

and then so in in at

53:37

my girlfriend's house they're like above her bed with a

53:39

built-in shelf kind of like a it was like a

53:41

kind of like a built-in headboard and I

53:45

guess her roommate had went into her room And he

53:47

had to like everyone were there she had to like

53:49

come like far into her She said she was like

53:51

looking for their motor something she had to come into

53:53

her room get on top of her bed and look

53:55

At the top of that shelf. They're like scratch marks.

53:58

So when my girlfriend got home Her

54:00

roommate was like wait, it wasn't from him like they're like,

54:02

yeah. No, no. No, what am I fucking in?

54:08

No, you're the missionary assassin, I don't know

54:11

what's happening I do also if I was

54:13

like laying down I would have to like

54:15

really really stretch to even get my hands up

54:17

there Well, I was thinking it was probably your

54:19

girlfriend. I'm let me tell you this. I'm

54:22

never doing enough to make that kind of And

54:25

so yeah, so she came home and her roommate was like, hey,

54:27

I just need to talk to you I

54:29

know you and Scott probably have fun, but I

54:31

think deer in some of the elves. I think she's afraid to

54:33

ask kinky sex You

54:36

I think you scratched the wood and like and

54:38

like made these claw marks And she was like

54:40

that was definitely from like a fucking cat or

54:43

something to live here before But imagine coming

54:45

in and telling your roommate just

54:47

basically that you went in her room Looked

54:50

at the top of her bed saw

54:52

scratch marks and then brought up the

54:54

freak like it's yeah You're snooping around

54:56

and you're involving yourself in your roommates

54:58

sex life Like our I

55:00

mean, I mean days after a raspberry

55:02

has been yeah, I'm still on the raspberry guys

55:04

Well, I mean it's like a thing you do to

55:07

like infants to make him giggle. Yeah. Yep Yeah,

55:10

and I'll be honest with you if someone

55:12

gives me one every now and again, I

55:14

giggle Still today why does

55:16

this day? I like them. I'll give

55:18

you but it was like it was unannounced

55:21

and took me by surprise And

55:23

it's from someone random God so

55:26

warm news god. I miss her That

55:29

was your first reason oh my god, oh Beautiful

55:33

crazy Thank

55:36

you, and then grace how do you feel about

55:38

five sweat similar just like oh run so hot

55:40

I I'm literally like

55:42

sweat. Hey Right

55:45

girl. You go at one ass peak off No,

55:49

no, I would just soak in it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah,

55:51

some things are getting it osmosis is gonna take over

55:53

your body You're gonna be powerful I'll

55:56

fit you a good idea Jack hasn't there's

55:58

two beds in our room I think that's like one

56:01

of those... I'll... I'll

56:04

pick you another idea. I'll pick

56:06

you another idea. We all...

56:08

never mind. I can't say that idea legally. Woah. Where

56:12

the fuck were you going? No, it wasn't anything

56:14

sexual towards you. I apologize. It was

56:16

going to be coitus towards Skylar, I think. My

56:18

brain... my brain... It'll find its way at the start of

56:20

a premise and try to figure out where the end is.

56:24

And sometimes I can't navigate. I apologize for that. I

56:26

did walk into this room a week. So

56:28

I switched sheets around. Jared just

56:30

stuck his hand down my pants. No, it

56:32

wasn't down my pants. I felt

56:34

just my knees. Jared, why did you decide to

56:36

wear a robe? There's just cubes up here. Look

56:38

at this. That's my

56:41

arm hair. I'll get them off.

56:44

I walked into this room and I audibly... We gotta get ahold

56:46

of the room. I walked

56:48

into this room and I audibly went... What the

56:50

fuck? It's so

56:52

nice. The AC's off of that for shooting purposes.

56:54

That's why it's the hottest room I've ever been

56:56

in my entire life. Don't worry. We're

57:00

trying to ice it. It's like

57:02

Hell's Cousin in here. Are you

57:05

guys hot? I mean, I'm fairly warm. I was

57:07

asking. I know you're hot. Sorry.

57:12

Thank you guys for listening and watching the Bed Pod. Jump

57:15

over to the Patreon where we're going to

57:17

get freaky in the sheets. Essentially we're just going

57:19

to do a lot more of this. Double X. Except

57:22

it's a lot more sweat. Link in the

57:24

description. 7

57:26

day free trial right now. We

57:28

also have tons of bonus content. We do

57:30

a drunk episode every month. Tons of fun. Thank

57:34

you to everyone that came on the tour to come watch us.

57:36

Thank you guys. You

57:38

guys filled it out. You guys are the best. Apparently you guys

57:40

are good people based on other people's opinions. Alright guys,

57:42

love you. If you stay until the

57:44

end, subscribe and comment. Why you hate

57:46

Jared. Okay, I don't

57:48

like that one. Yeah, I love

57:50

that. Well, if you ruin

57:52

our trip, we can ruin your conversation. I didn't ruin

57:54

the trip. Jared. We're

57:57

still having a good time. Absolutely. The

57:59

person who blew a ride. into Skyler's belly

58:01

ruined his trance. Yeah, that's true.

58:04

That was pretty good. I forgot about that. That was pretty good. Wiggle,

58:06

wiggle, wiggle, wiggle. I was

58:08

just gonna wiggle it. You got... He basically raspberry-ed

58:10

me just now. I didn't hear

58:12

you on that. Bye. Bye. Bye.