0:00

I love that every time you move your lips, you think

0:02

of me. No. That sounds beautiful. That's not what I meant.

0:04

I just like every time I do it now that the work's

0:06

done. To catch people up, Alyssa tends to purse

0:08

her lips often. If you don't know what it

0:10

means, look it up, brother. And

0:12

now every time she purses them, she gets a

0:14

little thought of old zackey down the old

0:16

brain stem. That makes me feel yum. Well,

0:19

this actually looks super cute today. I walked in and I

0:21

was like. And every day. How about that? No, she

0:23

does. But I was like, I was like, did you do your makeup

0:25

different? You look really pretty. Thank you. Like she looks like,

0:27

you know what I mean? I walked in, I was like, oh, you look especially

0:29

pretty today. Thank you. Not that you don't look pretty every

0:31

day, but I'm not talking to you. No,

0:34

you're talking about someone you wouldn't

0:36

know unless I hired

0:38

her. So that's not how this

0:40

works. Alyssa could ever be pretty in front of

0:42

Tar without me. You don't know that.

0:44

You don't know that. We could have crossed paths. Exactly.

0:47

No, no, no. Thank you. Should we

0:49

introduce our guests? Or should we? Are you one of the one who's here?

0:51

Am I supposed to use something out of these headphones? Oh, you got to turn

0:53

them on. Come on, brother. You're supposed to. Oh my

0:56

gosh, the way that she helps him with his headphones.

0:59

Just trying to instigate anything. Yeah, it's

1:01

good now. Today

1:04

we're here with Jake Spiderhome. Jake

1:07

Weber. Oh, Spiderhome. If

1:10

you guys don't know, these two friends used

1:12

to be lovers, but now they're the best

1:15

friends. He's made a couple

1:17

moves on me. I have distanced myself from

1:19

the notion, but only out of respect for Tara.

1:21

Not because I don't think he's deviously

1:24

handsome. Hit

1:26

the intro music. All

1:37

right, guys. Jump over to the Patreon for 15

1:39

to 20 minutes of extra footage of this podcast

1:41

with Jake and Tara. They talk about how recently,

1:43

obviously, they got back together, and they're trying to

1:45

figure out this newfound

1:47

relationship. It's a seven-day

1:49

free trial. Also, we

1:52

do a drunk episode every month that

1:54

gets pretty wild. Dude, we got to get you on

1:57

there for a drunk episode. Oh, god. Oh, lord. That'd

1:59

be so fun. We

2:01

can't put it on YouTube. Here's a little clip of

2:03

it. Alyssa, can I be honest with you? What? That's

2:06

kind of scary. I think you need to get laid. I

2:09

think you got a lot. How do you know I have it? I know

2:11

for a fact. Wait, let's play a game.

2:14

Let's play a game. When's the last time

2:16

everyone got laid? I'm not gonna elaborate

2:18

on this anymore, but I learned a

2:20

fun fact and that's that Zach's bed

2:22

is right above the living room. Ah!

2:27

Yeah, so a link in the description, join the

2:29

Patreon. We'd love to see you

2:31

over there. Thank you guys. Jake! Hi.

2:33

How are you? I'm doing good. How are you doing?

2:35

It's really good to exist with you in the same

2:37

room. I wanna say that. I wanna start

2:39

off by saying a lot of people have

2:42

natures about them that they seem manipulative

2:44

and dark and bad. And anytime I'm

2:46

in a room with you, I feel

2:49

the pure joy of your

2:52

personified favorite snack for me. I

2:55

don't know if that makes sense. Well, what's your favorite snack? Yeah, it depends

2:57

on what the snack is. It

3:00

depends on what I want, like a nice peanut

3:02

M&M. Ooh! If that

3:04

makes sense. You do get peanut M&M vibes. It's

3:06

because my head's shaped like a peanut. No,

3:08

no, no. Are you saying he has a

3:10

big head? No, Jared. It's when I pop

3:13

the peanut M&M in my mouth and don't take

3:16

this as a euphemism at all. This doesn't insinuate

3:18

any of your nuts being in my mouth. But

3:20

when I do pop it in my mouth, I

3:22

do get complete joy and you

3:24

being around me feels like a peanut M&M

3:27

in my mouth. That's really sweet. That was

3:29

really romantic. I'm gonna keep peeing and nutting

3:31

in your mouth. Thank you,

3:33

thank you, thank you. Shout

3:35

out, or kill. All

3:38

right, well, we've got the dynamic duo. People

3:40

have been wanting this for a long time.

3:43

People have written me letters, people have stopped me

3:45

in the streets with handguns, people

3:48

have said please. So.

3:51

Well, it's because when you had him on, I wasn't here yet. No,

3:53

no, I didn't know you existed when we had him

3:55

on. That's not true. Okay, all right. I've been trying

3:57

out a new thing called lying. Oh.

4:00

You're good at it. Thank you so much. Of course. Yeah,

4:02

Jakey. You shouldn't be good at it.

4:04

Actually, he's really bad at lying I'm

4:06

really bad at like honest Abe vibes.

4:08

Yeah, I can't lie. It's I

4:10

start like I get uncomfortable when I lie

4:13

Well, that's good. That's good. I I

4:15

revel in the comfortability of a sweet sweet

4:17

notion. That isn't true Well,

4:19

I I do white lies, you know if I

4:21

go into a store. Yeah, of course. I'll be

4:23

like I love this story I'm coming back then

4:26

I never do. Oh, yeah I mean I would do

4:29

like I don't just do white lies just because

4:31

you know what I mean? Like

4:33

African American lies I would totally do Asian

4:36

American lies Mexican American lies I would do anything like I'm not

4:38

just a white lie guy and I don't mean to put you

4:40

down for obviously What you believe in

4:42

just that's just kind of my notion and I

4:45

you're too good at it, too. It's just scary What

4:47

do you mean lying? Oh,

4:49

yeah, Alyssa's upset about the movie stuff. So I'm

4:51

assuming. Oh, I don't think I'm sorry I don't

4:53

think that was a lie. I think I just

4:59

Didn't tell you that's a lie. Hey,

5:01

you guys think that's a lie not keeping the

5:03

truth. Is that a lie? I always think I

5:05

don't I don't think like withholding the truth from

5:07

someone. Is that a lie? No Yeah

5:13

I think you do have a purity in your soul

5:15

where if something comes up you will just speak that

5:18

to the friend in need Where

5:20

I might withhold the information in order

5:22

to gain something Among

5:24

myself. I don't know. I'm pretty avoidant. I

5:27

feel like I feel like I'd rather just

5:29

avoid the situation. Okay That's what I try

5:31

to do as well. Yeah. Well as someone

5:33

who is well-minded and hates confrontation I'm gonna

5:36

explain kind of what happened for a little

5:38

context of people that didn't see the episode

5:41

Alyssa and I had plans to go see challengers why

5:44

she wanted to go see that Challenges

5:46

a movie is a Thrupple movie With

5:49

copious amounts of weirdness like us Exactly.

5:52

It's like me Jake and Tara when we had that threesome

5:54

that one time. It's really weird We know each other that

5:56

well, I thought it was weird. Well, I thought it was

5:58

weird that Tara was just watching most of the time. Yeah,

6:01

yeah. I liked it. It just hurt.

6:04

Yeah. I told you to lube up a

6:06

little bit, but you said

6:08

I just want to fuel you without anything

6:10

added. OK, this is getting really graphic in my

6:12

head. Can we stop? Yeah, I

6:14

guess we'll stop. Getting a little flustered over there. This is exactly

6:16

what happened during the threesome. We're having the best time. She's like,

6:18

can we stop? And we're like, just like, please, love

6:21

a guy. Let us finish. OK, so this is what happened. We're going

6:23

to go see Challengers. It's kind of about

6:25

this throuple couple, sex

6:27

is involved. And I don't know why, Alyssa, I wanted

6:29

to see that with her boss. But hey, you

6:32

know, she was trying to throw a vibe.

6:34

But either way, I did devote my time

6:36

of watching a movie to her. I

6:39

should have. I was actually invited to a movie

6:42

that I didn't know what it was going to be like. Hey, please me to

6:44

send the movies right now. And I was like, OK, cool. You're acting like it

6:46

was an emergency. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But one of my

6:48

friends that's not in town very often, because they live in

6:50

Australia, they wanted to go to the movie. So I'm like,

6:52

yeah, I'm on the way. I go there. It's like, what

6:54

movie are we seeing? They're like, oh, we already bought tickets.

6:57

It's for Challengers. Who

7:00

goes somewhere foreign and goes to the

7:02

movies? You can see my. She also lives here.

7:04

You're asking her. She lives here. She doesn't live here.

7:06

She goes back and forth. She's back and forth.

7:08

But at this time, she was about to leave back to

7:10

Australia. I think we can all keep that, keep

7:12

it a buck. OK, and then again,

7:14

we're taking away this interview from you. And

7:18

you just have new red hair. You're personifying a

7:20

step brother right now. And I know that. But

7:22

we'll get back to it. So I go and

7:24

see the movie, because I'm already there. And they've

7:26

already bought the tickets. And when I get back,

7:28

I decided I'm not going to tell Alyssa about

7:31

the movie, because I'm still going to go see it with

7:33

her and act like I've never seen it before. Do you

7:35

see that as a noble act? Or maybe I betrayed

7:37

her. I don't see it as a bad thing. Wait,

7:40

wait. And then Jared brought it up on

7:42

the podcast. Because I wanted to see a fight.

7:44

Threw Zach under the bus. Yeah, well, OK, also, this was

7:46

the second time. I'm going to take your side, Alyssa. This was

7:48

the second time that Zach has done this to Alyssa. OK,

7:51

but lying. I

7:54

feel like it's a white lie in

7:56

a way. And possibly, you'd be more

7:58

happy if you did. didn't know that he's

8:00

already, uh, if he's already seen it. Yeah. And that's,

8:03

I was trying to keep your emotions. If you knew

8:05

he already saw it and you went to see it,

8:07

then you'd feel like, ah, he's not

8:09

enjoying it like I am. I'm on your side,

8:11

Alyssa. Cause I saw, I saw the aftermath

8:13

effects of the first time this occurred. You

8:16

know how many times like we've tried to watch a movie

8:19

and it's maybe one, we've already seen and we're like, Oh, we don't,

8:21

I don't, I don't remember. I don't want to remember. Oh yeah. Like

8:23

when you want to, when I want to watch a movie, if we

8:25

want to watch it, rewatch a movie, I'd be like, I don't

8:27

even remember it. Yeah. When you want to

8:29

watch it. I'm like, I saw it when I was like 12. Yeah. And

8:31

I'll be like, no, I don't want to see something

8:33

you've already seen. Yeah. I don't remember that. I don't

8:35

remember it. That's what I said. You do it

8:37

too though. Yeah, I know. Well, the best

8:40

feeling is to have someone also enjoy something you really

8:42

enjoy. So it's like, no, I barely even remember it,

8:44

but I've seen it 12 times. My favorite

8:46

thing is, is when watching a movie and I keep looking up to

8:48

see if they like it, I'm like, you know what I mean?

8:50

Oh, I have shown the movie. Uh, uh, so a

8:52

movie I really like watching is called About Time. It's

8:54

like probably one of my favorite movies. I got a

8:56

picture of it in my room and I showed it

8:58

to a girl once and I like it. He's like,

9:00

dude, lame. I

9:03

caught that. I was like, but I, uh,

9:05

I showed it to a girl once and

9:08

in my mind, a phenomenal rom-com that brings

9:10

you to tears because of its sentiments of

9:12

love pedals that it passes along into your

9:14

brain. And this

9:16

girl's like, this

9:18

maybe sucks. And I was just like, Oh,

9:21

that explains why she's not

9:24

around anymore. Speaking of kisses

9:26

and lips, you have a

9:28

lip tattoo of Tara on you. I do. And

9:31

I got it within a couple of weeks

9:34

of dating her. We weren't even dating yet.

9:37

Oh, was it a couple of weeks of

9:39

knowing each other? Yeah. Wow. Before

9:41

that, I love you. It's not a regret.

9:43

I mean, yeah, you're still best friends. So

9:46

you guys meet and then had you

9:48

already had? No, he didn't have that

9:50

many tattoos. He had, he had one. You

9:53

had the, maybe like one or two. Yeah. The

9:55

question mark. And it's big too. He had the question

9:57

mark behind his arm. Yeah. And he got my lips tattooed holding

9:59

dice because. because I'd taken a picture with holding dice in my

10:01

mouth and I feel like dice was just like a

10:03

big thing for us for some reason. Because

10:06

you guys were taking a roll on love. Dice necklace. Oh, I

10:08

don't think it. I don't think it. You

10:11

liked my dice necklace, a picture I posted with

10:13

dice necklace in it. Yeah, but this has nothing to do

10:15

with that. Okay, well you like dice now,

10:17

I feel like. You say we got a big thing about dice.

10:20

In my head, you also got me dice one time

10:22

when you went on vacation. It sounds like you

10:24

have a big thing for dice. Yeah, in my head.

10:27

I got this necklace because I saw it and I liked

10:29

it. Oh, this is getting dicey. Anyways,

10:33

he saw a picture

10:35

of me with dice in my mouth. And

10:38

then like the next day we went and got it. Who

10:40

approached you for the tattoo? Were you just like, I really

10:42

want to get it? It wasn't like, he said you

10:44

wanted lips tattooed and he's like, I'll just use yours,

10:47

right? Is that what happened? Yeah, it was very

10:49

nonchalant. Yeah, it was nonchalant. Was it

10:51

weird to me? No, I got one the same day. It

10:53

wasn't like I walked up to her and I was like, I'm

10:56

getting the tattoo for you. No. I

10:58

feel like you were probably convincing. I

11:01

convinced you to do it? No, but I've thought about

11:03

tattoos before. I

11:07

know I do that. More lips tattoos. I wanted a

11:09

pair of kiss lips and Tara's like, you

11:12

shouldn't just get one from the internet. You

11:14

should use mine or something. It's

11:17

so subtle. I don't think that's what happened. Of

11:19

course you don't. No, do you

11:21

think that's what happened? What? I

11:23

was like, get my lips tattooed. No, not like that. I

11:25

think you're more subtle manipulative with it probably. Would

11:29

you have gotten them though if you didn't want to? I don't

11:31

know. I don't even remember. I do. I

11:33

do. Did you hear that? Would you

11:35

have gotten them if you didn't want to? That

11:38

was manipulative. Tariami's

11:42

manipulative. The next thing about me. I

11:44

have it on me and I love it. Yeah.

11:46

So that's all that matters. But don't you worry. I

11:48

did the same thing. He had a question mark behind his

11:50

arm. The first tattoo he got, I got a matching one

11:52

on my ankle. The same day. I was like,

11:55

I'll do it. I only had one tattoo. It's because

11:57

you were here when you saw him in major.

14:00

Yeah. Yeah. He didn't say it. I got your brother.

14:04

What was it with the initial sitting

14:06

there? Why did that

14:08

click so much that this was one

14:10

of the first people you maybe could

14:12

trust or be around? Because I've actually

14:14

recently realized this my whole life.

14:16

I, I always, I

14:19

felt like I always blamed other people for

14:21

me not getting close to people. I'm like,

14:24

people don't like me and I hate that. But

14:27

I realized that I'm

14:29

just pretty avoidant. I,

14:31

when I get a text from someone or I'm

14:34

becoming friends with someone for some

14:36

reason, getting closer to someone scares me. Do

14:38

you know why? I have no idea. Okay.

14:40

I don't think, well, I just, I just

14:42

don't think that I've

14:44

ever really like felt closeness

14:46

to someone until I met

14:49

Tara just because she's so like, she'll,

14:52

she'll like fry, she'll

14:54

pry you, you know? Yeah. So you almost needed

14:56

someone to come in with a pickaxe to find

14:58

the diamond within you. Yeah. And she just naturally

15:00

liked that. It's insane. You know, the moment that

15:03

I realized that I'm horrible at

15:05

keeping up with people was, um,

15:09

all the times that I saw

15:11

her sending a paragraph to people for their

15:13

birthday, she does that like

15:15

almost every day. I do it to everyone

15:18

I've met in my life. And for me, when

15:20

it's someone's birthday, I, I

15:23

don't say anything. I'm

15:25

just thinking that they wouldn't care if I text them or not.

15:27

That's not true. Yeah. But I know they

15:29

do, but like, that's fine. That's my brain just

15:32

like works weird. Yeah. You know, I've had times

15:34

when I felt like someone was

15:36

wanting to be friends with me and I want to

15:38

be their friend. But for some reason, I just like

15:41

had this like pull to like not

15:43

let it happen. It's like in my

15:45

mind, I feel like I don't deserve it or something. Speaking

15:48

on like not deserving it in that cell,

15:50

do you prefer to be self-isolate? Isolated? Do

15:52

you prefer to be? I'll

15:56

literally be so bored one day and I'll

15:58

be like, why? Why

16:02

does no one want to hang out with me? Like

16:04

where is everyone? And then you realize that

16:06

I haven't built any structure. Like

16:10

I really don't, it's so funny. Like

16:13

Johnny, I feel like I wouldn't even be as

16:15

close to Johnny if he wasn't my roommate. It's

16:17

like the only way that I could get close

16:19

to people is if they're forced to be. They

16:21

force them. Yeah, so I'm

16:24

very thankful for Johnny and Tara. No, I

16:26

totally get that. You

16:29

said it was a new realization. What made you have

16:31

the realization that it's like more you distancing

16:33

yourself than other people not understanding you? I

16:36

think recently since my audience got bigger, not

16:38

that it's like a bad thing, but I think

16:40

that more people just hit me up in general.

16:43

Yeah, it's really sad what people do. I don't

16:45

think of it in the sense as someone's trying

16:47

to use me. I just think that instead of

16:50

the work of getting to know me in

16:52

person, they got to know

16:54

me online against their will. So

16:57

maybe that makes them more intrigued to

16:59

be my friend. So I don't

17:01

think about it. That's really kind of you, but there

17:03

are people that do that. There are people, but

17:05

I try not to say like that. But I don't think you're right.

17:07

I don't think it's all of them. I think you're being very positive

17:09

and that's sweet. So I've had a lot of moments

17:14

where I felt like I was

17:16

becoming friends with people, but I'm

17:19

always the one that just lets

17:21

it fizzle out for some reason. I never

17:23

let that happen. But

17:25

that's why recently that's why I realized

17:27

it is because it happened very frequently. Or it

17:29

feels like, well, we used to be closer, but

17:31

now we're not anymore. And then you were reflecting

17:34

and you felt like it was more of the

17:36

things you weren't putting in. Well, I'd start looking

17:38

at like text messages of people that I'm friends

17:40

with. And I

17:43

would see that I haven't

17:45

responded to like five other texts from different dates.

17:47

And I'm like, oh my God, they probably think

17:50

I'm ghosting them or something. But every time someone

17:52

texts me, it takes me

17:55

like a couple hours to respond. I see it. And

17:57

for some reason, like I feel overwhelmed. in

22:00

a positive way that gives them no gain.

22:02

And they can put actions to

22:04

it. So that's really good to hear. I think,

22:06

and then also I was thinking publicly now, it

22:09

probably is going to hold you a little bit

22:11

accountable. Yeah, it doesn't have to. I guess so.

22:13

But I also tell the internet that I'm going

22:15

to quit energy drinks and sin every day. That's

22:18

what you never does. So I'm

22:21

not that truthful. Oh, how many

22:23

milligrams of zins? Just three. Three

22:25

milligrams? That's fine. That's nothing

22:27

but a little happiness in your lip. Yeah. So

22:30

I tell myself I'm going to quit. And

22:33

then I get anxiety. And

22:35

today's not the day. Because if I'm

22:37

dealing with anxiety today, then I should

22:39

not focus on quitting this right now.

22:42

I need to work on my anxiety first. And then

22:44

I'll get to it. Then you can quit nicotine. Yeah.

22:46

But right now, it's my medicine. So

22:49

when you say anxiety, what are maybe

22:51

some of the big trigger points that

22:53

a lot of people have

22:56

different forms of anxiety? Where do you see

22:58

yours kind of bubbling up? Just online. Everyone

23:01

having an opinion about you

23:03

and things like that. It's

23:06

weird because I've always had social

23:08

anxiety. I actually didn't know what anxiety really

23:10

even was until I was in high school.

23:13

I thought it was just kind of a

23:15

disorder that some people had. I didn't know.

23:18

I realized that I had crippling social

23:20

anxiety. But recently,

23:22

just being online and the change

23:25

of audience, I felt an anxiety

23:27

that I've never felt before. It

23:31

just feels like

23:34

my stomach is getting

23:36

stabbed. And sometimes, I

23:39

don't even know why it's even happening. I'm

23:41

like, why do I feel like this? I'm trying to find a

23:44

reason for it. And I've

23:46

never felt that before. But now, I

23:48

get this anxiety where I feel it

23:50

in my stomach when I'm even alone

23:52

or just hanging out with friends, doing

23:55

something where I shouldn't be anxious. Oh,

23:57

no. I think, though,

23:59

we are so blessed. and we have jobs that

24:01

are not nearly as physically hard

24:03

or demanding as other people. It

24:05

is a unique thing that we go

24:07

through that everyone does have opinions on

24:11

kind of our lifestyle and things that we say. If

24:15

you put a camera on everyone

24:18

in the world, people would always do or

24:20

say things that they regret or that they

24:23

didn't mean, or that's misconstrued in a different

24:25

way because there's billions of people

24:27

that everyone has their own lenses,

24:29

they're seeing life through and everyone has their own opinions

24:31

and when they put that on you and we're all

24:34

supposed to be just in communities of 100 and 200

24:36

people and now you're having millions of people see you

24:38

every day and though

24:40

percentage wise, I'm sure it's 99% of people really

24:44

enjoy and love you, but when

24:46

you have such a big audience, that 1%

24:48

can be hundreds or thousands or tens of

24:51

thousands of people that really loathe you in

24:53

a way that they try to attack and

24:55

damage you for things. It's like everyone's just

24:57

human and I might've made a mistake or

24:59

I might've said something wrong or this

25:02

was of course not my intention, but people just kind

25:04

of see the red and then it's like a mod

25:06

mentality of, yeah, no, no, they did this

25:08

thing, we hate them, they must mean this, they must hate

25:10

these, they must hate those people, they must love these people.

25:13

They're not on our team, they hate, hate, hate

25:15

and it's just like, no, I was just living

25:17

my life and I don't know everything, like you

25:19

don't know everything. Like it's very tough to deal

25:21

with, I'm sure, especially for you.

25:23

Yeah, I mean, I wake

25:26

up every day and all I

25:28

wanna do is just make videos and hang

25:30

out with my friends. It's

25:32

not like, you know, I

25:35

don't close the door and start being

25:37

a horrible person. Yeah. I,

25:40

like all I wanna do is just make videos and hang

25:42

out with my friends. I think, I think, I

25:44

got like really emo for a second, so I'm like

25:46

about to start crying because I think, sorry,

25:49

hold on one second, I don't wanna cry on camera, that's embarrassing. That's

25:51

not embarrassing at all, I think it's vulnerable and that's

25:53

what we're talking about. There's nothing to

25:55

be embarrassed about. Like these are the moments where

25:57

people see the humanity that can help.

28:00

And I heard last minute deals on game time save up to 60%.

28:03

So you should even wait for that. Definitely.

28:05

And dude, they also have this thing called zone deals.

28:07

And so all you have to do is pick a

28:09

section and then you save even more money because they

28:11

just throw you into a seat in that section. Dude,

28:13

that's sick. So if you want

28:15

the best deals on any concert or any sort

28:17

of event, use game time, download the app, create

28:19

an account and use our code dropouts to save

28:22

20% off your first

28:24

purchase. Again, create an

28:26

account and redeem code

28:29

dropouts. D-R-O-P-O-U-T-S for $20 off. Thank

28:31

you, game time. Thank you, game

28:33

time. OK, to take it off to a

28:35

different subject that's happier and whatever. Alyssa,

28:39

you've had a hard time. Alyssa's had a hard

28:41

time finding love recently. I

28:44

think that's happier. So I

28:46

got you this book called How to Not Die

28:48

Alone. Oh, wow. The

28:50

surprising science that will help you find love, I

28:53

have started it. I think there's a lot

28:55

of great things. So it teaches you what

28:57

kind of person you are in and out

28:59

of relationships, of why you won't start something,

29:01

or maybe why you do start something. This

29:03

is not like a sponsored plug. You've

29:06

genuinely read that book. I

29:08

don't even know who wrote it. Logan Urie thought it was

29:10

a guy, really a woman. But

29:13

anyway, I want you to read this, because

29:15

I know how important having a

29:17

family is to you. And

29:19

the rest of your family. So I'm going to throw it to you. And

29:22

please try to catch. Anyway, this is

29:24

going to go so well. And I want to hear

29:26

updates on this. So it's just about how to die

29:29

by myself. How to not die alone. We need notes.

29:32

We need annotations. We need tabs. No, no, no,

29:34

no. Not spark notes. You got to read the

29:36

thing. Getting out there. Step one. We got to

29:38

do stuff that helps us out. Big font.

29:40

Good. Are there any pictures,

29:43

though? Big font. I

29:45

think we do more hot girl walks. I think

29:47

we drink. A diagram. I think we do more

29:49

magic minds. A diagram. Magic mind. Magic mind's good.

29:52

Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes. It's the drinks that we drink. Yeah,

29:55

it's the little shots that we take in

29:57

the morning. It's got a bunch of vitamins and things in it.

34:00

people like, well, the algorithm brings him. But

34:02

I was like, not interested, not interested, or

34:04

just, or just move swipe up, swipe past.

34:06

Like your life is so finite that

34:08

you shouldn't let people online.

34:12

Affect you negatively. It is crazy. Like

34:14

the cyber bullying how we've

34:16

come like almost full circle to where

34:18

there's like a complete loss of understanding

34:21

and empathy and our culture mental health

34:23

is like the least cared for thing

34:25

on social media, which there was a

34:27

huge, I feel like a huge, huge

34:29

movement for it to be the most

34:31

cared thing for. I think it is

34:33

for like people who, you know, like, and I

34:36

think high schools like take it seriously, but

34:38

I think they think we're like actors and that

34:40

we're not real people, so I guess

34:42

it's a free country. And I

34:44

guess you would, you know, if say you were

34:46

in a town with someone that you didn't really

34:48

enjoy, but you knew they would see something and

34:51

you still write something hateful, you're probably like,

34:53

Oh, they're going to see that. So I'm

34:55

not going to say it's like, we also,

34:58

we, you know, we do see it. We

35:00

in it's, but also not even just from

35:02

like our perspective, uh, as creators or whatever,

35:04

but even just like everyday people

35:06

that are like putting out content, putting out art

35:08

or anything like that. Like, have you ever come

35:10

across a video of, uh, like

35:12

somebody puts out a song or something, it

35:14

might not be the best song in the

35:16

world, but you go to the comments and

35:18

they are just ripping them to shreds. They're

35:20

like, Oh, this is sick on mute or

35:22

whatever. If you're this feels very

35:25

target. No, no, anytime I post a

35:27

song, you horse don't like it. My

35:31

side of the tick tock is a lot of music because

35:33

that's what I'm interested in. It's mean and it's

35:35

unnecessary. And like you said, like your notes app

35:37

is trying to do something positive for God for

35:40

once in your life, people like, like I, it

35:42

just pisses me off, especially when it's people I

35:44

love like it. For, for you guys, I

35:46

don't understand the hate as much because you guys

35:48

are mostly like documenting your lives and having fun

35:50

with friends and things like that. For me, like

35:52

I do make jokes and I like to push

35:55

the line and I understand there's a percentage of

35:57

pushback of people that are going to get offended

35:59

by certain. My intention is always to make people

36:01

laugh and have a good time and sometimes my jokes are

36:03

lazy because I try to be quick And I try to

36:05

be entertaining and you know, my job is

36:08

doing this every week So there's gonna be now over like

36:10

200 and whatever hours

36:12

of content that

36:15

I've done and Like

36:17

the heat that comes to me sometimes on

36:19

jokes I totally understand like there's

36:22

like lines with that and people some people like

36:24

it some people don't But

36:26

yeah, but when people are just trying to live

36:28

their lives like you guys it's just like or

36:30

like even stuff How you look

36:32

like? Oh, they're so fat and ugly. It's

36:34

no dude like they're just existing Why

36:37

are you why would that need to be said?

36:39

I think a really weird thing

36:41

is that for

36:43

me, I would say that I'm a

36:45

personality creator if I wanted to if

36:48

I was having a bad day and I tweeted

36:51

something while I was having a bad day people

36:53

would be like I

36:56

Like grow up why like you're

36:58

like why are you tweeting this

37:00

to your audience? But if

37:03

I say something like I'm excited to show

37:05

my new hair color people like no

37:07

one gives a fuck So

37:10

I'm like sitting here like I don't even

37:13

Know what to tweet. I don't even know what to

37:15

say anymore because I can't be excited about something.

37:17

I can't be sad Yeah, I don't

37:19

I don't even know what to say. It's like

37:21

I Got that I

37:24

just won't talk I feel similar in a way

37:26

where sometimes people comment on these podcasts like Tar

37:28

kept talking over people or tar won't shut the fuck

37:30

up. Okay, then I didn't think you'd see him because I use

37:33

aliases Right

37:35

and that's fine. That's who I am. I talk a lot. So

37:37

I try and step back right try to be more quiet Try

37:39

and give everyone else, you know a chance. I'm sure

37:42

the next thing is why is tar so quiet Yeah, tar is

37:44

in a bad mood tar is being a damper on things.

37:46

Yeah, that's what I don't Can't do anything

37:48

right? You can't please everyone. That's the end of it. That's

37:50

just what we need to deal with It's like the reason

37:53

why we are where we are

37:55

is because we are who we are and then

37:58

eventually people are just like Stop

38:00

that, stop that. Stop being yourself. It's

38:03

like, but this is

38:05

what you're watching me for. Yeah.

38:07

So I don't understand. I think you can't please everyone,

38:09

and that's just what we need to learn from this little

38:11

podcast that we just did right now. You

38:14

know what I mean? Honestly, one of the

38:16

things that's really helped me is that it's

38:18

like there's this metaphor where it's just like,

38:20

there are apples and oranges, and some people

38:22

just don't like oranges. And that's fine, yeah.

38:24

I just don't think people should voice their opinion on it. I'm

38:28

sorry, but the first thing they taught you in

38:30

kindergarten is if you don't have something nice to

38:32

say, don't say it at all. Unless it's

38:34

towards Jared. Because

38:37

he has a hate kink. And

38:40

that's fine. We don't judge him for it. He

38:42

is constantly hard. And of anything, you'd be doing him a justice.

38:44

It's like. Yeah, I mean, I'm not going to personally

38:47

do him at all. But I'll, yeah, of

38:49

course. No, like you'd be doing

38:51

him something good because it's a kink.

38:53

He likes it. No, of course. I did understand

38:56

just my last name's justice. Do

38:58

I like when people step on my ball? I don't know.

39:00

That was a hard. That's a new heels. That was a

39:02

90 mile an hour. Jared

39:06

asked permission of who's been there in the past,

39:08

though. Can Jared get

39:11

his ball stepped on by Tara? I'm a little

39:13

jealous because she's never stepped on my balls. But

39:16

go. I busted them. Like

39:19

buster balls like make you laugh. I

39:21

thought of something else. Yeah.

39:24

I got a smile. I

39:26

smiled because it wasn't good. That's

39:29

OK. Jared,

39:32

you have had a particularly large smile on

39:34

your face this entire podcast, though we've been

39:36

talking about dark things and mental health. So

39:38

we just want to see kind of. No,

39:40

because I smile in uncomfortable situations. No, no,

39:42

no. There's a light in your eye that

39:44

I don't see on it. Because I'm happy today,

39:46

too. Oh, two people are happy. I've

39:48

been smiling like all day, all week. Like there's

39:50

already something. Do you think there's a reason why?

39:53

That I'm happy and Jared's happy? Could

39:55

it be something that we have in common? Oh,

39:58

stepping. Jig jig. Jake's

40:00

lost. That's okay. Okay,

40:03

so we do this fun game on the

40:05

podcast where what's something you

40:07

got in the mail recently? Um,

40:10

Alyssa. It's usually Alyssa. Oh, is it not?

40:12

Is it Jared? Oh, it could be Jared. What did

40:14

you get in the mail recently? Jared, what did you get in the mail recently? Um,

40:16

I got... And who

40:19

gave out your after us? Uh,

40:21

I got, um, I got my

40:24

protein shake. No, no, no, from the girl we're talking about. Um,

40:28

I... I got a

40:30

very, I got a very nice package. Gotcha.

40:34

Okay. Yeah, you do. And it's

40:36

getting stepped on. That's

40:39

not Bragg, brother. All right. We heard

40:41

it's weird. It's good length though. Um, thank

40:43

you. It

40:46

was just funny the way you like your

40:49

face and stuff after. Yeah, I was mad.

40:51

Um, cool. No, we don't want to press

40:53

it anymore because obviously it's very early and,

40:55

um, I hate when

40:57

you bust out. It's so annoying. No, no, no, no, no,

40:59

no. I get it. He's just, it's

41:02

annoying. No, he does it when he's trying to be like

41:04

nonchalant about... Look at, look at the way he's doing it.

41:06

It's just very like, he's trying

41:08

to do something. He's trying to do something with it. You know what I

41:10

mean? Like stop. Okay. And

41:13

hypothetically, and this is nothing wrong with you because this has happened to

41:15

everyone before they found the one. Um, say

41:17

it goes negatively and they aren't seeing each other anymore

41:19

and it kind of ends a little rough. How

41:22

does it affect your relationship with Jared? Oh, it's ugly

41:24

for him. So

41:26

Jared... You should not just answer this. So Jared... And

41:29

you know what? I've heard through the grapevine,

41:32

through the grapevine, that you don't want to get

41:34

Antariami's bad side. Yeah. Uh,

41:37

okay. And then this is what, this is the only thing that I had to

41:39

say about that. So we

41:41

have, we have a great time doing this

41:43

podcast every week. We have a great time

41:45

bringing on lovely guests like Jake and Tare

41:47

being on here. And something's

41:50

telling me that if it goes astray,

41:53

everything here implodes all

41:56

because you want to get your Peter

41:58

wet. Now is that... thinking? There's

42:01

just eight billion women and now there's

42:03

probably four billion women in the world

42:06

eight billion people don't know if you're

42:08

gay if you are happy June. Second

42:10

of all happy June. So if

42:13

you mess why not try anything

42:15

else that

42:20

doesn't have a 50-50 shot

42:22

statistically of ruining everyone's lives.

42:25

So you're telling me if I left the podcast everyone's lives

42:27

would be ruined? No. You guys were doing just

42:29

fine before me right? Just fine. If

42:31

it ends good though like if they do end it good?

42:35

Usually doesn't end good this is like a 1% thing.

42:37

No like if it does if they do end that's

42:39

what we're saying what end on good terms that's what

42:42

I'm saying she's like usually that's a 1% like this is

42:44

a 1% I think we're like the 0.4 percentile

42:48

of ending a relationship. What if Jared's not the problem?

42:51

I doubt it. And I love you and

42:53

it's already starting. And I love you but I

42:57

love you. Then you would love

42:59

him regardless. Yeah exactly because it's

43:01

love. Unconditional. I don't know if

43:03

I love you unconditionally. Definitely conditional. Because

43:05

there are people in the world I love you.

43:07

I love unconditionally. You say you love him then

43:10

you're threatening him with a wrath of Godzilla. The

43:13

wrath of Tarayemi. Tarzilla. Tarasilla.

43:17

Tararasaurus Rex. Yeah

43:19

we're pushing it. Tarasaurus

43:22

Rex. I

43:24

like that. I'm on board. What are

43:27

you giggling at? I just like pictured

43:29

you in like D-Rex.

43:33

Imagine Taras arms on Jared's

43:35

body. That is a fun thing to think about. Wait

43:38

should we do it? Should I sit behind you and put my

43:40

arms through your hands? Through your shirt? Sure I mean the pocket

43:42

is going downhill anyway might as well get

43:44

close while you can guys. Remember that

43:46

whole conversation? Because he's gonna ruin. God

43:49

remember that whole conversation we had

43:51

about anxiety and like the the

43:53

knives. I saw your face change.

43:57

And that's what's wrong. Are you having anxiety right now?

43:59

Well just from in this conversation, this is

44:01

horrifying. Why, it should be a great conversation. You should

44:03

be thinking this is gonna go great and this won't

44:05

be a problem, right? Well, I was

44:07

thinking that up until I was

44:09

threatened with Taurusaurus Rex. No, no,

44:11

no, no, no. See, Taurusaurus Rex

44:13

and the Wrath of Tarimme will not be shown. Unless

44:16

you marry her. No, if you don't marry her,

44:18

it will be shown. Yeah, unless there's a problem. Do

44:20

we have a problem? No, we don't have, there are

44:22

no problems. Okay, and did I not offer you to come

44:24

to my house and just stay with me for a week?

44:27

Yeah, we're gonna have a week-long sleepover. I

44:29

didn't know this. You're staying over there for a

44:31

week? Oh, maybe. I mean, not enough, I'm sure. What's the size of

44:33

the bed that you got for the spare room? A queen. Is

44:36

that okay? Yeah, that's what I got up there. Yeah,

44:38

close enough to finger.

44:40

Anyway, sorry guys. I

44:42

don't know. Just throwing words out there. We

44:45

should probably get back at Jake Hea's here. How was,

44:47

how your nipple piercing's doing? Only because one popped out

44:49

and I got a little hard. I have. Oh,

44:52

it's up there, I see it. It takes so long to heal. I

44:54

told you that. It's a commitment. I

44:56

warned you. Yeah. I warned him. This

44:59

one's healed, but it took about a year.

45:01

This one's still working on it. It's still

45:03

pussing sometimes, yes. But I love

45:06

piercings, I love tattoos. So

45:08

sometimes you pop that pussy, it

45:10

gets popped. Did you tell him? Did you just

45:12

say that? She said it

45:15

moments ago. Okay, not

45:17

this one, no, no. No, they're

45:19

not, no. None of them

45:21

have ever done that. They don't get pussy? My

45:23

piercing sometimes get pussy, it's normal. It's a hole in your

45:25

body that's not meant to be there. It's like, I

45:28

just don't want to think about, I just don't want people

45:30

to think I have pussy nipples.

45:33

You don't, and you don't, and you don't. But you clean

45:35

them, but sometimes I wake up and there's a little bit

45:37

of pus on my piercings, that's fine. How

45:39

many piercings do you have? In there or no? I

45:42

have so many retired ones. Yeah, the labia

45:44

one. Don't say retired, is that a common

45:46

thing? The labia one. 40 years

45:48

retired. The labia one. You retire a

45:50

piercing, yeah. Like, oh, I'm gonna retire this piercing

45:52

because you're gonna take it out. Do you announce it? Is it

45:54

like, do you have to tell, how many people do you have

45:56

to tell before it's officially retired? Is there a retirement party? Is

45:59

there a ceremony? but I'll let you guys

46:01

know. If I retire under their piercing, we'll have a-

46:03

Do you have to notify the union before they

46:05

retire? These are all great questions, Jared. Oh, also

46:09

Zoe, are you allowed to be on camera? I

46:12

have a question for you. Can I ask you

46:14

if you want this cut and if it's embarrassing?

46:16

Okay, so this is Zoe, our wonderful producer. And

46:19

so we all went on a trip

46:22

recently to New York and

46:25

she was there and Skylar yesterday, he comes

46:27

up to me and he goes, I got something

46:29

we gotta talk to Zoe about. He's

46:32

like, I saw her go through the scanner and

46:34

the only thing that lit up metal on her

46:36

body was- Oh, was my crutch. So

46:39

we were wondering, do you have a vagina piercing?

46:41

I don't. Okay, problem solved,

46:43

thank you so much. We've been debating it internally

46:45

for a while now. You can

46:48

just ask me. Oh, yeah, I know. I just,

46:50

we thought of you- That's our producer, by the

46:52

way, Jake. HR does not do their job here.

46:54

Dude, but Skylar came up to me, he's like, dude. You're

46:56

the one that asked about my

46:58

vagina. Skylar came up to me, he's

47:00

like, dude, I saw something on a scanner. And

47:03

I'm like, what's going on? He goes, Zoe

47:05

went through that thing, that thing lit up

47:07

like a Christmas tree. Well, I was excited

47:10

when I got my nipples pierced because I thought it'd

47:12

be funny to go through- It doesn't take a lot.

47:14

TSA, it doesn't. Your things don't go off. Okay, good

47:16

to know. Thank you, Zoe, you're still hired. It ruins

47:18

the fun. It does ruin the fun. Yeah,

47:21

yeah, okay. Because Skylar was very worried that your

47:23

crotch was lit up. Maybe you're smuggling, we don't

47:25

know. I won't get into your drug use in

47:28

your vagina, obviously. It's funny because I have

47:31

zippers, buttons, belts. My

47:34

crotch goes off almost every single time. I would

47:36

never think that it's because I have a dick

47:38

pierced. You got that hammer

47:40

on you, brother. They're like, oh, you can't smuggle

47:43

the AK in here. I get it, I get

47:45

it. What you've seen, what you've seen.

47:48

Could you draw it from memory? Probably. Thank

47:50

goodness. Wow. Probably, I mean,

47:52

things get kind of ingrained in there after a

47:55

while. Yeah. Yeah.

47:59

I did, however. one time get an x-ray and

48:02

I did have my chest pierced and

48:05

they were like they're like okay take your bra off

48:07

because you can't have metal in it I was like

48:09

okay no problem and then I got um my lungs

48:11

you know x-rayed and they were like you gotta take

48:13

out all the metal and I was like does

48:15

it show up it shows up on your x-ray so I had to

48:17

get him I did he come out for the I won't

48:19

take mine out for anything okay well

48:22

when you have to get your you know lungs exam

48:24

for an x-ray because it's like a health

48:26

problem maybe you should what if

48:28

magneto is like kind of taking

48:30

over the town in a negative way would

48:32

you take him out what's a magneto magneto

48:35

is an uh an x-men villain who can

48:37

manipulate metal so I'm just very worried that

48:39

he might pull you in like

48:41

buy your metal and then hurt you so

48:43

I'm just looking out for you okay yeah

48:45

so maybe we could take him out if

48:47

magneto's in town okay okay okay so one

48:49

instance we'll take him out of huh sounds

48:51

kind of like a nerdy though thing to

48:53

me yeah I

48:56

wish I was over there touching you guys too no

48:58

piggy absolutely no yeah yeah

49:02

but he's not a part of it I have

49:04

a funny story okay please um I

49:07

got pulled over on the way here oh you did

49:09

oh yeah wait can we play where did tar wake

49:11

up did you wake up something somewhere else no

49:13

but I woke up in my new house okay

49:15

oh yeah you play to

49:17

yourself look at you playing with yourself

49:19

it's not even a night time okay

49:21

that's that's I'm so happy for you

49:23

thank you it is incredible thank you

49:25

so much you guys have to come see it jigs

49:28

already see it play with yourself I'm good um

49:30

and the jig's already seen it's like anyway uh

49:32

you got pulled over on the way here yes I got

49:34

pulled over on the way here for what well

49:37

for nothing for simply sitting here and

49:39

looking priggy I'm not even kidding someone

49:41

really someone pulled me over and I

49:44

was like fuck and I was like I was

49:46

not going over everything my registrate like my little

49:49

year what's that called registration my

49:52

tag is fine like what could it be and

49:54

I pull over and I'm fucking shaking already late

49:56

to the pod which I'm sorry about and um

50:00

He's like God, I'm sorry. I was like, oh is it first

50:02

I said I'm like, oh did I do something wrong? I said

50:04

no God, I'm sorry. I just know my daughter would kill me

50:06

if I didn't pull you over That's

50:08

crazy. Are you serious Wow, and I

50:11

was like, is that allowed and he's like ah Can

50:13

I get a picture like she like and

50:15

I was like, how did you know it was me? And

50:17

she's like, okay He's like well your car and because she

50:19

talks about you so much that I knew you lived like

50:21

in The valley like in

50:23

LA I know you which the valleys big

50:25

so I can say that I

50:28

know your car is pink and you know your license plates pretty

50:30

obvious He's like I knew it was you right away and she

50:32

never shuts up about you and I was like, oh god You must really

50:34

hate me and he's like no, I've actually seen a couple of your videos and

50:37

then we take a picture That's hilarious. Yeah,

50:39

it was kind of against your will

50:43

Kelly your dad has a picture of me and him

50:46

He's kind of cute too. No, I was I was

50:49

saying like I've seen I usually skip

50:51

past it But I've seen like very

50:53

similar narratives at the beginning of Stories

50:56

that I've watched before No,

51:00

no, he never

51:02

said that officer was I doing

51:04

anything wrong? I'd be in a bad girl Zach

51:10

you say it but were you being a bad girl? I wasn't

51:13

Because I was literally just getting pulled over

51:15

because because daughter was a fan his daughter daughter

51:17

was fan His daughter was fan.

51:19

They pulled me over and I get out It's

51:22

not offensive because it did not announce who

51:24

what race it was Whatever

51:27

race you think of your races What

51:30

would you consider that actually kind of sounded like my

51:32

parents a little bit, right? And

51:34

that I will not say yes or no. I had

51:36

no idea An

51:38

ambiguous enough to

51:40

not get canceled. That's all work. I'm a

51:43

little French there. Maybe maybe a little bit Anyways,

51:46

yeah, I got pulled over because this cops daughter was a

51:48

fan and I was like, is this allowed? Like can they

51:50

get in trouble for this? I really shouldn't be allowed. I

51:52

don't think it is but I think Whatever.

51:55

Why is that the best movie title I've heard of I feel like

51:57

it would have been worse if he had pulled you over Just because

51:59

he thought you You were hot. That's what I

52:01

was waiting for. No, no, his daughter was a fan. How could

52:03

he? The cops' daughter? But you thought he

52:05

was hot, so. Yeah, I did. But you

52:07

have a weird. Get a mustache. Yeah, you

52:09

have a weird. It's a man in uniform. Yeah, I

52:12

really don't get. My type. Your type.

52:14

Well, it's like, Jake does. It's like rock star

52:16

vibes, and then like dads. It's rock

52:18

star vibes or their dads. Yeah. Yes.

52:21

Rock star dads. That's the prime. Oh,

52:23

yeah, you get me a rock star. You get me a nice little rock

52:26

star in his 50s. Have you

52:28

tried it out? No. The oldest

52:30

guy. We might

52:32

have someone for her. Who? Jeff.

52:35

Who's Jeff? Oh, we've got a guy

52:37

for you. Come out, Jeff. Who's Jeff?

52:40

It's Hunter Mark's dad. Who's Hunter

52:42

Mark? He does

52:44

the videos with David Alvarez. Hunter

52:46

Mark. Oh, Hunter. March, sorry. I

52:48

said March. March. Hunter, Hunter. Yeah,

52:51

so his dad builds the new

52:53

sets for us for some

52:55

other projects we're doing. And, God,

52:57

he comes in. He's

53:00

grizzled. He's been through it. Shirt off.

53:02

Shirt off. Damn. Wait.

53:04

And Hunter's so chill, normal looking? This

53:07

guy would. He's been trying to keep you

53:09

away from him the whole time. Yeah, yeah,

53:12

yeah. Wait, can I see? I don't just

53:14

have a picture. Is he single? I don't

53:16

want to wreck a home. Yeah, no, he's single.

53:19

One of the best. Carpenter, I

53:21

guess, is his full title. Probably

53:23

one of the best I've ever seen at what they do.

53:26

But he's like, should I draft up a contract?

53:28

Between us, I was like, yes. And he cracked

53:31

up a Word document with maybe

53:34

four sentences on it. And

53:36

he didn't know my last name, so he just said,

53:38

sign here, Zach. And it was.

53:40

I love that. It was the most heartwarming thing

53:42

I'd ever seen. For people who don't do contracts,

53:44

I feel like we do a lot because of brand deals

53:47

and stuff. They're usually like pages long. Oh, it was

53:49

the best. He's like, we'll work on building. We'll

53:51

be paid this much. We'll be done by

53:53

this time. Well, that's good. We'll work

53:55

hard. You don't have to redline anything. It's just an

53:58

easy contract. And that's how contracts should be, I feel like. Sign

54:00

Zach. That should be written in crayon. So

54:03

it's easy to read. Oh yeah, Hunter's like, please send

54:05

me that. I gotta send it to my mom. Are

54:08

they divorced? They are, but you never know. People

54:10

get back together. My parents haven't, which they would

54:12

though, but they haven't. No, no, no. Your parents

54:15

together? Yeah, they're happily married. And

54:17

your parents are happily married. Maybe that

54:19

breeds this kind of aesthetic that you guys have.

54:22

Maybe. Who knows? Jared's parents are together.

54:24

Wait, and Alyssa's parents are together. Yeah, but

54:26

what the hell? Up until I was 12,

54:28

I had a single mom. Did

54:32

you know he was making a test tube? Yes. Okay. Yeah, he's

54:34

like, I wrote about it. I just thought I would tell you

54:36

because it's Jin. He

54:39

doesn't get stuff for adjacently being

54:42

near gay people. I know. I

54:45

don't feel like you do. No, I know. But

54:48

he comes from gay people. No, no one came

54:50

for him to be here. Well, someone had to

54:52

put in a test tube. The CB270 came. I

54:55

like to think they just kind of extracted from his parents. No,

54:58

but CB270 is the name of

55:00

his donor, his sperm donor. Yeah, they didn't

55:02

give him a name. I was thinking about it the other

55:04

day. Wait. What's going on? So

55:07

that's crazy. So someone had

55:09

to die and you got their sperm. No, no

55:12

one's dead. No,

55:15

no, you just went to a

55:17

sperm bank and jizzed in a cup. They

55:20

donated the sperm. No, because when you

55:22

get your license, you can donate your organs.

55:25

Someone donated their sperm. Exactly.

55:28

But they weren't dead. That is beautiful. They weren't

55:30

dead. They were alive to

55:32

jack off. Okay. He's

55:34

like, like, less cool. Way less

55:36

cool. So CB270. I

55:39

was thinking about it the other day. You must have so many

55:42

siblings around the world. Have you

55:44

ever done a 23andMe? I did do 23andMe.

55:46

And do you have siblings? Yeah. I've got

55:48

like six, somewhere like

55:50

six or eight that I know of. Holy

55:52

shit. And they all are.

55:55

I look identical to you. That's my

55:57

nightmare. There's just a bunch of Jareds

55:59

everywhere. But they

56:01

dress differently. Like, this is Jared. I'm Gary. There's

56:05

like a Jared in Texas and he wears cowboy

56:07

hats. They're all smiling. Like, they're plodding each other

56:09

because there's light. It's just like seven

56:11

rows of beaver teeth. Okay,

56:13

go on. A dentist, like, I don't know

56:16

if it's a dentist's dream. A dentist's wet

56:18

dream. Just like all those Jareds in one

56:20

room. Well, there are different Jareds. We've talked

56:22

about this. Like, oh, that's a Jared. Oh, yeah. Jared

56:24

has an aura about him where it can be an inanimate

56:26

object. It can be a person. It

56:28

can be a man or woman. It can be

56:30

an animal. And that's Jared. You know what I

56:32

mean? But you'll see some Jareds. Yeah, you'll see like something out in

56:34

public and you're like, oh, that's just Jared. Most ferrets are

56:36

a Jared. What

56:39

else is a Jared? A

56:41

disassociated otter. Okay, yeah, yeah,

56:43

yeah, I see that. Most

56:46

stepchildren. Oh, Jared. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There

56:48

are a lot of Jareds out there. That's

56:51

really funny. Well, I'll be on the

56:53

lookout. Oh, brother, you won't be on the lookout. Now

56:55

you can't unsee Jareds in the world. Okay. Because

56:58

I was told about this. I saw a dining room chair the other day. I'm like,

57:00

that's Jared. But I know they're all sleeper. They're all

57:02

sleeper agents. Like at one point there's going to be

57:04

a sound that rings across all the speakers and they're

57:06

all going to be like Jared's

57:08

unite. Must take

57:10

down all trees and put towards

57:12

bodies of water. And

57:16

they're all just going to be chomping and we got to stop them.

57:19

Oh, we got to stop them. Oh, my God.

57:24

Okay, guys. Thank you so much for listening to

57:26

this podcast. Honestly, I actually loved how deep we got.

57:28

I think you opened a lot of minds today,

57:30

sir. So thank you for coming on. I really,

57:32

really do. We're going to jump

57:34

over to the after school special on Patreon,

57:36

a seven day free trial right now. And

57:40

you get 15 to 20 minutes of extra footage of

57:42

us getting talking a little bit more. They're

57:44

going to talk about how they briefly got back together and

57:46

they're trying to figure it out. So

57:48

if you guys want to jump over to the Patreon,

57:50

I'd really appreciate it. And, and yeah,

57:53

link in the description. you