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1:45

back to Dum Dum's and Dragons, where

1:48

improvisers who've never roleplayed before journey into

1:50

the world of Dungeons and Dragons. I

1:53

am the Great Wizard Bukake, your host.

1:56

Your heroes have come face to face with

1:58

a zombie. Butthole failed to contain. the

2:00

locals to let them inside without his friends help.

2:03

Gartok revealed his doubts in the

2:05

entire conspiracy they were battling, and

2:07

Quiney discovered magic from afar, pumping

2:09

the zombies. But will our

2:11

heroes be able to discover the mastermind behind

2:13

this stew theft? Find

2:15

out next on

2:17

Dom Dom's

2:19

Endaevon! You

2:23

are investigating a stew eating

2:25

zombie in

2:27

the Silver Lion, a very

2:30

fancy tavern and

2:32

rooming house in Selgant,

2:35

here in an attempt to win over

2:38

the friendship of the Lord High Governor

2:41

by solving a pesky zombie problem.

2:43

Just zombies doing processes left, right,

2:45

and center. After meeting

2:48

Mel the Cannon and talking

2:50

your way into the bar as Captain

2:52

Bloodsmear and his crew, Quiney,

2:55

you, Butthole, and Gartok have

2:57

started to investigate the zombie, discovering

3:00

some wisps of magic

3:02

that you have theorized are perhaps similar

3:04

to puppet strings leading off of him,

3:07

and are now searching the upstairs for

3:09

all the sleepytime zombies who are sort

3:11

of in wait in all

3:13

the beds in the rooms upstairs waiting

3:15

for their chance to replace the

3:18

gourmand should anything happen to him. So you

3:20

boot it open a door, uh, carefully.

3:23

I definitely don't boot it, yeah. Can you open a door?

3:25

Can you hold me a stealth please? Sure. 18 plus insanity,

3:28

uh, 33. Yeah,

3:37

that's fine. So

3:39

you boot creak the

3:41

door open quietly, uh, and

3:43

make your way into the room. It is a

3:45

very, very quaint room.

3:47

It reminds you a little bit

3:50

of some of the most kind

3:53

of upscale, fancy, cornucopia-style

3:56

decorations would look like. Like what a bed

3:58

and breakfast in cornucopia would. be

4:02

a pale echo of. So

4:04

lots of very dainty

4:06

things, lots of doilies, lots of little charge

4:09

keys along walls. Each room seems to

4:11

have its own theme. Everything

4:13

is very meticulous. But

4:16

the one thing that clashes with the general vibe

4:19

is the tall, dead

4:22

elf woman who

4:24

is laying in the bed. The sheets

4:26

and blankets have been pulled up and over.

4:30

And the zombie is just laying on its back,

4:32

staring at the ceiling. This

4:35

zombie is missing its jaw. Its tongue is

4:37

just kind of lolling there.

4:40

And his arms, like, over

4:42

the blanket. You

4:44

can see she's missing a few fingers off

4:47

one hand. And there seems to be some

4:49

burn marks up her other arm. And you're

4:51

just staring at the ceiling. Fingers

4:54

crossed this one doesn't have to take

4:56

on Stu Duty. Stu-D.

4:59

Call of Stu-D. Stu-D,

5:02

thank you. Let's start

5:04

our extremely non-invasive scan.

5:07

Sure. You owe me our can with advantage, please. Now that

5:09

you've done this once, you know what to

5:12

look for. Alright, a 19. 19.

5:14

So there aren't, you don't see the same poles

5:17

off this one. But there

5:19

is a faint sort of

5:22

drifting, almost particle

5:26

wisp around the head. So

5:29

downstairs, what you can kind of ascertain from

5:31

the one downstairs versus this one, the one

5:33

downstairs that was being pulled upon, this

5:36

one it is not. But it

5:39

is there. It's like there's an off-zombie.

5:41

And these ones are passively

5:44

in waiting. I'll

5:49

come out of the room, kind of stand

5:51

at the top of the stairs and say,

5:53

alright look, if we're feeling brave, I wouldn't

5:56

mind seeing what happens to this one

5:58

upstairs magically. raise

6:00

a finger. Yeah, what? And

6:03

just lower the finger to his lips and

6:06

take out a piece of paper from his tummy bag and

6:08

write on it and it will say if

6:10

they are being puppeted

6:13

the puppet master might be able to

6:15

hear us through them. And Quinn

6:17

will mouth the words fair. Butthole's

6:21

gonna fold him back up.

6:23

You hear something. Are you

6:25

still downstairs butthole? Yeah, butthole. Yeah, you wouldn't have

6:27

followed Quinn up. He would just stealth mission. Fair

6:29

enough. So you both turn and

6:32

see the orc pounding on the

6:34

table with both hands and

6:36

the surfer comes back out of the door, walks

6:39

over. So how

6:42

was that? And the

6:44

orc nods. She

6:46

sighs and cleans everything up, takes the

6:48

napkin out of his lap, puts it in

6:51

the stew bowl and then carries it

6:54

back into the kitchen. And

6:57

the orc just continues to pound both hands. Is

7:00

he, Quinn will say out loud, is

7:03

he waiting for the next meal?

7:05

Is the bartender gone? You

7:08

want to replace, theoretically we were going

7:10

to at some point, we haven't got there yet.

7:12

I just want to make sure that if he,

7:14

because I'm like, nobody served him. Yeah, he's like

7:16

standing, well I think when you stopped actively

7:19

replacing him, he stayed on

7:21

because if someone isn't dressed

7:23

like this bartender, he's gonna go really badly. So

7:25

no, he's still there. Is that a drink thing

7:27

or what he said? No, that's that's Stu. That's

7:29

calling. So he's ready for the next. Calling for

7:31

Stu. He beckons me like one would beckon a

7:34

fucking dog. No offense. That's a gum june. Gum

7:36

june's like snarf snarf. He's like, I'm not a

7:38

fucking dog. Okay,

7:41

so let's keep that going. I

7:44

want to go over and

7:46

detect magic because I can cast

7:48

that to see if I

7:50

can feel the direction of the wisps

7:53

using detect magic. So

7:55

it's still non-invasive. Technically I'm

7:57

casting it on myself and I can sense

7:59

the presence of magic within 30 feet. If

8:02

I sense magic, I could use my action to see a faint

8:04

aura around any visible creature object that bears magic. And I can

8:07

learn it's school of magic, if any, I don't know if it

8:09

would show me the direction, but if it does, it's good to

8:11

know, cause I know we can't keep

8:13

blasting eye of true sight that

8:16

every zombie we see all day. Yep. So

8:18

you see sort of the same things

8:21

that, uh, Quinnie did. Um,

8:23

you can obviously use

8:25

your, your action because we have

8:27

combat order. Yeah. Um, the spell works for 10 minutes. I'm

8:30

checking this whole fucking room after this, but yeah. So

8:32

you see the same thing, Quinnie did, uh, the,

8:34

the, the particle trail does seem to trail off.

8:36

You don't detect a school of magic because they're,

8:39

this doesn't seem as you can probably imagine, this

8:41

isn't run of the mill magic.

8:44

Um, but you can definitely see that and

8:46

you see looking up again to that almost

8:48

heat vision, you can see the same kind

8:50

of light swirling particle mist around all of

8:52

the zombies heads upstairs. Okay.

8:56

And sorry, can you. You

8:59

don't need to roll, you can't stick magic.

9:01

Uh, you can also see, um, as you're

9:03

looking at that original OG zombie,

9:05

uh, the Gorman that, uh, his

9:07

tongue is also glowing in the same kind

9:10

of intensity as the, the stomach. Interesting.

9:14

Butthole's going to say out loud that he

9:17

wants to look at the bar

9:19

and it Mel and take a peek into

9:21

the kitchen to see if there's anything else

9:23

that's got any magical signal in case there's

9:25

something in here that's like linked to it.

9:27

Um, you see a few like enchanted things

9:29

in here. There's like, you know, an auto

9:32

chopping knife that is just constantly chopping. Um,

9:35

like doing sous chef work. Um,

9:37

you see one of the, uh, one

9:40

of the chefs has a similar mug to

9:42

yours, but it's like, you know,

9:44

those plastic containers that chefs always drink out of that

9:47

are just like soup came in it, but

9:49

every so often he taps it. It just fills

9:51

with, uh, liquor and he takes a swig. Um,

9:54

so you see like little kind of mundane

9:57

magical things back here, but nothing like what's,

9:59

what's going on. out there. That

10:02

said, the entire serving staff is in here and

10:04

like they've set up like it almost looks like

10:06

a refugee camp. They set up like beds and

10:08

things like they've been sleeping in here and preparing

10:10

because they just need to keep this

10:12

place running constantly. Butthole's

10:15

gonna walk back into the

10:17

center of the room if Quinney's come down. He's just gonna write

10:19

a note that's like I have a plan, can't

10:22

discuss here, and show it

10:24

to Gartok and Quinney. Quinney

10:27

will gesture in

10:30

a way that indicates go on.

10:34

Butthole will wave to the others outside because he doesn't

10:36

want to be with an earshot of a zombie

10:38

if he's gonna have this discussion. But

10:41

the moment they're outside he's like okay yeah I did a

10:44

detect magic, I can do that. And I

10:47

saw the same stuff you saw. His tongue

10:49

also has weird magic on it in addition

10:51

to his stomach. I guess that's where like

10:53

the quality control is there. And yeah

10:55

the upstairs zombie, same wispy shit. So

10:58

the wisps I did not see coming off of them

11:00

up there. I wanted to see if maybe we could

11:02

do a bit of a dangerous experiment where we kind

11:04

of fuck with the orc down here a little bit

11:06

in a way that we can remedy quickly and

11:08

see how the ones upstairs react. We've heard

11:10

that they get up and get ready to

11:13

replace him. So do they develop

11:15

strands? Like what happened? Are you guys including

11:17

Mal in this conversation or you had in

11:19

this conversation with him? I don't. Quinney would

11:21

also prefer not to include Mal. He's

11:24

not a member of the blood wig. Yeah, exactly.

11:26

And join the crew. Okay so possible.

11:28

So here is my thought

11:30

which is nobody knows what we're capable

11:32

of yet. And here's the interesting thing. So all the

11:35

fucking particles are going northeast right? Yeah. And we can

11:37

get a map attached, just a second. And he goes

11:39

across like a Trotsky shop. Get the

11:41

map of the city because they've got to have those

11:43

sort of guests. Oh they do. Alright so here's the

11:45

city. Okay. And he takes his hammer

11:48

haft and just you

11:50

know a way to draw a straight line

11:52

functionally. And he's like we know from

11:55

here, from this for the silver line,

11:57

these go northeast. But we've

11:59

also got zombies at the

12:02

theater, the coastline, the

12:05

House of Song. Oh

12:07

yeah, the fourth place is here. There's four places. Yeah. So you're saying

12:09

we can draw lines and see where they intersect? Correct.

12:11

And then if we go to where they intersect, that's

12:13

probably where whoever's causing this is or wherever is amplifying

12:15

their magic. Assuming they're not like walking around town. They

12:18

might be doing that and then this won't work, but

12:20

it's something that we can get correct. There are other

12:22

zombies too. Like I don't want you to think there's

12:24

only four, but these were the four that the bronze.

12:28

Yeah, yeah. These are four. Also, they sound spaced

12:30

out enough that we could get a clean reading

12:32

on. If all four lines go in

12:34

a random direction, then okay, this is totally shot. But

12:36

if the four lines intersect at one point, then we're like, okay,

12:39

it's that block. Yeah. Above

12:41

ground, below ground, I have no clue, but we could do

12:43

that. I just don't know how, this is the thing that

12:45

I wanted to check in with you guys on, which is

12:47

like, how much do we risk

12:52

making our set? If they figure this out, this

12:54

plan doesn't work. If they change

12:56

stuff, this plan doesn't work. They being the undead?

12:58

Whoever is behind, you said the puppet. So whoever

13:01

the puppet masters are, they

13:03

got kind of a good thing going and nobody's been able to

13:05

solve this. And I think they're

13:07

stealing all the food here and then they seem

13:10

to be entertaining themselves. Like if you figure they're

13:12

doing like a magic siphon, I'm like, okay, food

13:14

and drink. Something that's maybe like

13:16

leisure activity, right? Or it's to just prevent

13:18

the city from doing well. I don't know.

13:21

Yeah, but yeah, leisure activities. They got like fun. They got

13:23

some good. It does seem a little bit

13:25

strange to block the port when

13:27

food can't really come in. I

13:29

mean, eventually they're going to run out of

13:31

provisions for stew, right? Yeah. But if we've

13:33

got like a heinous cult, then they're like,

13:35

it tastes good. They

13:37

eat, they're hearing nice music.

13:40

They've got fun physical sensations and writing a

13:43

surfboard. They're singing in the choir or they're

13:45

listening to the singing? They're listening to the

13:47

singing and they're watching the play. And they're

13:49

watching the play. Wait, they're watching. They're tasting

13:51

the food. We're talking five senses

13:53

here. Yeah. They

13:56

like it to be constant. Yeah.

14:00

Okay. There's an evil demon

14:02

baby. It

14:06

wants things to be the same, like

14:08

a child, but it wants all these

14:10

things that have evil magic. It's not

14:12

childish to want things to be the same. Um,

14:15

I mean, to want exactly the same play over

14:18

and over again with no stopping. I'm just saying,

14:20

I can't feel. Okay, can I just interrupt?

14:22

Please do. In the spirit

14:24

of sameness, perhaps it would be good to

14:27

quietly observe these other zombies

14:29

as quickly as possible to see

14:32

exactly which direction their wisps are

14:34

flowing in. Okay, we're done here. And just

14:36

be a little bit down low. We don't have

14:38

to interrogate everyone around them. So we go as

14:41

fast as possible to these other locations in the

14:43

hopes that even if somebody's hanging out. Because if

14:45

we could hit these next spots in like the

14:47

next hour. Dartok, can you do detect magic? I

14:50

can detect magic. I can. Three of

14:52

us, three locations. So we just split up and meet

14:54

back here? Yeah. All we need

14:56

to do... So you said you could see the direction of the

14:58

wisp to detect magic. So

15:01

if we hit the other three locations, we split up

15:03

right now. Sorry, Tom. Go as fast

15:05

as we can. Here's the thing. Remember, this is the

15:07

thing I want everybody to remember. We

15:09

don't have to talk to anyone. We

15:12

don't have to negotiate anything. We just

15:14

need to detect magic and figure out

15:16

where the wisps are going. Make sure

15:18

you get the direction right. Yeah. And

15:21

then we come back together, we put it on the map and we see if

15:23

we got it. Do we have more of those maps? I

15:25

go to the Chosky shop. Yeah. I have a

15:27

map for you, a map for me. All right. Let's copy... This

15:29

is the greatest day of my life. Let's copy the slide here.

15:31

I never thought it was something like that. Yep. So we're here.

15:34

And then I would say the other thing to make sure, because

15:36

we want to be accurate, because it's going to be a

15:38

little bit more drawn out. If you're looking at the direction it's

15:40

going, you don't just have to have Cardinal. If you find any

15:42

other famous point on this map that you can see, you'll know

15:44

where it is relative to that. Yeah. Pick

15:47

something that's aiming towards, probably. Right. But

15:49

okay. So I'm thinking, hmm. All

15:52

right. I'm the one who's most likely to

15:54

get distracted. If we want to minimize distractions,

15:57

which seems smart, I

15:59

should probably... go to the

16:02

theater because I mean

16:05

seeing a place if you send me to the

16:07

temple district I'm gonna get caught up in stuff

16:09

and if you send me to the coastline it

16:12

sounds like they're surfing and a guy named the

16:14

dude that feels like I might be caught up

16:16

in his mythology okay I'm also just gonna put

16:18

out there do your best not to show

16:21

proper theater etiquette do not be disruptive

16:23

while you were there because

16:25

the zombies are trying to enjoy a show and will explode

16:27

I just wanted to do you know what

16:30

sometimes being a king you need to delegate and

16:33

I would say guard talks inspiring and

16:35

I sometimes get caught up in things yeah minister

16:37

of culture yeah you are perhaps the craftiest of

16:39

us you are the best at figuring

16:42

out who should get into and get out of

16:44

places without getting spotted you are our let's just

16:46

say discrete

16:48

visitation specialist very

16:51

fancy title who should visit where honestly

16:58

I think

17:01

you made a strong argument for not going to temple

17:03

district but I think you'd be alright on the coast

17:06

okay I'll go talk to it I'll go to the surfers

17:08

you know they're far away right they're out there in the

17:10

surf you just got to look

17:12

at them and from a distance see where they're oh I

17:14

think I have to get pretty close I'm

17:16

not gonna be good at surfing okay I didn't

17:19

know I didn't think about that till now either

17:21

that would have been a real that would have

17:23

really bit us in the ass about 20 minutes

17:25

okay no the cannon pointed this out a little

17:27

while ago yeah we can't trust anything else yeah

17:30

all right scrap that then you would be best

17:32

you know sitting

17:38

sitting right behind someone in the audience a zombie

17:40

to like get as close as possible do that

17:42

thing great yeah that's great okay I'm on that

17:44

one and I don't know

17:46

guard talk to you are you up for surfing

17:49

like getting that close because it sounds I think that's

17:52

the way my magic works too is I have to

17:54

get close everybody's got to I've never surfed

17:56

before but it's

17:58

gonna be hard to buy chair And

18:01

I could only I could only transform my chair

18:03

for about an hour Does

18:05

anybody in your Rolodex a server

18:07

surfer? Or if

18:09

you met the dude, do you think you could make a new

18:11

surfer because we know that you made you that was pretty cool

18:14

Yeah, but the problem is getting out of my

18:17

chair And

18:19

I'm afraid to change it to a wolf. I mean

18:21

they probably got wake boards. Those are pretty wide like you

18:23

can do it Oh, can you roll me a history check?

18:27

History Is

18:30

a 17 17 it

18:33

does occur to you that juneiper

18:35

plays pan pipes and the bronze

18:38

raven that the Temples

18:41

is known to play pan pipes. Thank

18:43

you for reminding me of welcome. He

18:45

says Oh pan pipes juniper digs pan

18:47

pipe and flute Pan flute

18:49

pardon me. I almost

18:52

forgot that. Oh my gosh, please. Let me see Lexi. Well, yeah Do

18:56

you want to do a little switch here? This

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dums that's the way you

22:47

get to hear this. Ah

22:54

another would-be hero is it? Yes it

22:57

is I fiddles with the butler from

22:59

dum dums and dragons and I can

23:01

see from your general look that you

23:04

want to bring more stories into the

23:06

world and help the dum dums on

23:08

their various quests. Well I advise against

23:11

joining the Patreon then for if you

23:13

do you will be assisting the dum

23:15

dums in all of their endeavors all

23:18

of their various shows and stories and

23:20

jokes and doing good deeds and you

23:22

know I simply cannot buy those.

23:25

Of course if you did feel like

23:27

wasting your time you could go to

23:29

patreon.com/dum dum dice you could join for

23:31

as little as a dollar which would

23:33

gain you access to a discord where

23:35

you can talk to other would-be heroes.

23:38

You can even create characters who will run around in

23:40

our world at the higher levels but of course you

23:42

don't want to do that now do you? No

23:45

you're just content to listen to a

23:47

butler tell you how it is. Well

23:50

I'll see you on your way.

23:52

Hail Blighthammer. Good

24:09

thing you improved your alpha

24:11

gumbo infection because that means no

24:13

wolf time. Yay. Hey, it's good

24:15

to see you, Jupu. Welcome back. Thanks.

24:18

Wow, GarTox really having a time, eh? GarTox learning

24:20

a lot about himself, really coming into his

24:22

own as a speaker. Yeah. Yeah,

24:24

but a lot of purpose discovered there. Had a question about his dad,

24:27

I think. Yeah, I don't know if we're going to be able to

24:29

answer that one. You and I are going to have to talk about

24:31

that. I mean, I think realistically, I'm

24:33

kind of... Yeah, your dad. Like

24:35

Moss is the dad? Yeah. Probably

24:38

me and Moss. Juniper and Moss. Kind

24:40

of the parents. Oh, okay. I can understand

24:42

that. All right. like

24:45

if it pops up outside of public, we'll try to talk him through

24:47

it. He's really

24:50

aggressive about things he does not fully understand. I

24:55

mean, aggressive, curious.

24:59

I want to be clear. I'm going to go see the person with

25:01

the pan flute. Great. I'm

25:03

going to go do

25:05

some surfing stuff, I guess. Avast

25:10

and Cowabunga. All right.

25:12

I'm going to go to the theater. So

25:14

let's do that. And

25:17

break. Go Juniper. Yeah.

25:20

And on his walk to the theater, Fuhle thinks to himself,

25:22

GarTox and Juniper are really in denial about

25:24

some of their aggression, which is surprising for

25:26

people who have a therapist inside their head.

25:29

And they just could be like, this

25:32

is why I'm not going to personal therapy. And

25:35

then he got like, Goblin Jr.

25:37

said, how ready your thoughts just sit there, like

25:39

walking beside you, looking up and you'd be like,

25:41

I bet he's drawing the wrong conclusions about therapy

25:43

again. Just kind of like trot

25:46

along beside you. Okay. So,

25:49

who wants to go first? Should

25:52

we roll initiative, Tom? Yeah. Yeah.

25:55

Yeah. Horry initiative. Goofa

25:58

doof. I

26:01

got a 10. Ooh. Yeah,

26:03

right. We're going surfing, baby! Surfin'

26:06

Fay, Rone. Surfin'

26:09

Ninja. The

26:13

novel, the novelization of the movie Surfin' Ninja.

26:16

Yeah, naturally. Literature's greatest

26:18

monster. All right, so, Quinny, you

26:21

make your way to the coast. You

26:24

head through the incredibly rich

26:28

district of Old

26:30

Chantel, looking at just, like,

26:33

oh my God, what's... Rube

26:36

after Rube after Rube after Rube.

26:39

You could just fleece this fucking

26:41

neighborhood as you make your

26:43

way through it. And you

26:45

do see a couple of this sort

26:47

of quarantined zombie spots.

26:50

There's a pickleball court where

26:53

there are two zombies just standing perfectly

26:55

straight, knocking a ball back and forth

26:58

with little rackets. There's

27:00

actually a crowd, like, betting on it, because every so often one

27:02

of the zombies does fuck it up. So

27:04

there's a bit of a crowd watching it, but you

27:06

also see several, like, very well-to-do people in, like,

27:09

with a little, like, shade put up over them just

27:11

waiting, waiting for their time

27:13

on the court, hoping that maybe the zombie

27:16

situation will resolve. This is crazy. This does

27:18

not make sense. No, people... The

27:20

ball's a very popular sport. Very popular sport. People are

27:22

living on another planet, man. Yeah, there's

27:24

a couple of the... He doesn't care about the zombies. He

27:26

just hates pickleball. Give me tennis, give me nothing. The city

27:28

doesn't make any sense. There's a couple of the sort of

27:31

discount self-arabans wearing the tunics, so, like, the interns, the

27:42

couple of self-arabans. Yeah, yeah, there's a

27:44

couple of interns. So,

27:48

standing by to make sure no one gets too close to the

27:50

court. But eventually, you make your way past

27:52

that and down

27:55

to the coast. So, this is very

27:57

much a, like, a bus... Would

27:59

have been a bustling... docks,

28:01

but not in a... it's

28:04

right on the edge of the very rich part of

28:06

town, so it's not kind of a

28:08

like a modern city docks. It's not the wire

28:11

where it's like we just took this away in

28:13

a corner and kind of don't talk about it.

28:17

It's very well developed, it's

28:19

very fancy, of course

28:21

there is a degree of industrial nature

28:23

to it, but you can see that a lot of

28:25

care has been put into it. It's a little bit

28:28

like if you ever go to locks on

28:30

any like, kind of a

28:32

lot of like historical canals, yeah. There

28:35

are some that are just very like rusted, this

28:37

is a giant slob of metal that's meant to

28:39

change water, and there are

28:41

some that are part of like a

28:43

tourist attraction where everything is just nicer

28:45

and it's kept up more, and that's

28:47

kind of the sense you're getting, except

28:49

that there are no boats docked, aside

28:52

from a couple that are clearly didn't

28:54

get out of the port a while back

28:56

that have been moored, and there are

28:59

dock workers just kind of everywhere, similar to the

29:01

pickleball court situation, they are just literally sitting around

29:03

being like we don't know what else to do.

29:05

Out at sea you can

29:07

see there are indeed

29:10

kind of on the horizon a number of

29:12

ships, and every so often you see a

29:14

flare of fire. It is very clear that

29:16

piracy is well underway out there, but similar

29:18

to any like clogged port, it's just like

29:20

they can't go, they don't have no supplies

29:23

to go back, they've been

29:25

burning supplies to stay here, it's a whole

29:29

thing, and you can see a lot of

29:31

very stressed out merchants and other people just

29:33

kind of waiting around. Number

29:35

of games of chance going on, a lot of

29:37

drinking, a lot of carousing just

29:40

because what the fuck else you're gonna do as

29:43

you wait. However, one

29:45

of these docks has a big

29:50

kind of awning over it, it's a much

29:52

smaller dock, it's very clearly not meant for

29:54

boats, it's a more of a

29:56

humanoid sized dock. It's got one of

29:58

those arches. That you see

30:00

at a lot of like fairy boats and

30:03

other things so kind of tooth and thin sticks with

30:05

like a big thick sign It's got

30:07

a wave on it and the top the wave

30:09

on a surfboard. There's a goblin

30:11

doing like to hang hang ten Fingers

30:14

which probably mean nothing to you, Quinny But

30:18

I've lost all the two of his fingers on

30:20

both hands. Oh my god Yeah,

30:23

you could cost stealing so many. He's got

30:25

some pinky going on But

30:29

Yeah, you can see You

30:34

can see just beyond that

30:36

a number of zombie surfers

30:46

So looking out onto the water you

30:48

can indeed see several zombies trying to

30:50

surf Surfing is difficult in

30:52

the best of times. These are not the best of

30:54

times. These are also zombies So

30:57

they're they're having a bit of a hard time, but

30:59

they are far enough away that you can't just true

31:01

sight them There is a crowd watching them of course

31:03

because it is Legitimately entertaining.

31:05

There are also a number of zombies standing

31:07

on the shore looking

31:10

out to sea and as

31:13

you approach Sure enough

31:15

a dragonborn Kind

31:18

of comes sauntering up. He's

31:20

wearing a puka shell necklace around his

31:22

neck He's wearing a

31:24

an open shirt He's

31:27

got sort of leather almost

31:29

like What's

31:32

the Final Fantasy character designer guy's name? You

31:37

are on your own I

31:40

should be able to help him and I'm also

31:42

playing. He's got some heart level shorts just like

31:44

being a key blade Yeah

31:48

That's right, buddy. Can you one thing

31:50

did it? You did it? There you

31:52

are Peter? Anyway, got big big surf

31:54

shorts Just

31:56

very very chill looking guy

31:59

His expression. Is very very very Zen

32:01

needs a smile little bit and

32:03

most notably she has a big

32:05

blonde wig of the just like

32:07

big surfer dude is Carla hanging

32:09

down to two in a moron

32:11

that any that the want and

32:13

what yes sorry I know to

32:15

admit leave it.thank you A present

32:17

that was back to it's ah

32:19

so you're right, I don't have

32:21

you made that name up. So

32:23

he comes over and you hear

32:25

the odd the flap flap flap

32:27

flap of his thumb sandals. Ah

32:30

as a makes his way over is

32:32

like oh hey man newcomer down here

32:34

the beads. That's kind of cool but

32:37

it's you for the waves. Ah,

32:41

Four years of the tunes. I'm

32:43

here for the weights. You must be

32:45

the do all that but oh man

32:47

yeah hey yeah oh that's awesome and

32:49

you must be the guy. I am

32:51

the guy. I was told by Lord

32:53

Gov the third that dow yes, hard

32:55

to pronounce name guy yeah that I

32:57

could come here and not aid in

32:59

the investigation of what's going on with

33:01

those undead surfers. So oh wow yeah

33:03

man, just that because our I admire.

33:07

You know, There's already the

33:09

do down here so know we necessarily need

33:11

the guy down here. Particularly not here for

33:13

the tunes and meme meme a band we

33:15

did we could spin up. Pretty

33:18

cool jams for you. You could totally

33:20

spin up some jams and while you're

33:22

spinning, I will surf because that way

33:24

we cover both. I'm assuming

33:26

you have been able to jam

33:28

as much as he wants. The

33:30

dude know how many on surfboards?

33:32

Yeah but like you know I

33:34

didn't on not hard about Sars

33:36

and will be the substance. Asks

33:38

for a vast area as asks

33:41

his heart. Out

33:43

when I do after the for fun

33:45

to a total of thirty system I'm

33:47

sorry but my sleight of hand it's

33:49

a little less on a deception the

33:51

total of up twenty eight. Cm

33:54

him and his horse. I know

33:56

of oriental from. Pick it

33:59

us up. You

34:01

know there's a might have thought of this

34:03

is that is harsh. Yeah, thanks. Men seem

34:05

to really understand a lot of these guys

34:07

are you. They don't get how hard it

34:09

is now or I will just look, are

34:11

you suit or and I are not just

34:13

about the vibes. Oh look I can help

34:15

though I'm a paladin. Your

34:17

apology up? How good times, man.

34:19

But also have a garden stuff,

34:22

right? Yeah, See. That's

34:24

great. Let's.

34:26

Talk about the surfing undead though. Okay yeah

34:28

ah the are not tubular. Yeah, I've heard

34:30

of going into their Not. I've heard about

34:33

the explode when you enter up the process

34:35

ease yeah these ones when they wipe out

34:37

that an interruption and they explode or to

34:39

they get back on there and you know.

34:42

Over yeah this is where it's really fucking

34:44

weird. Okay so like some times in the

34:46

fall off their surfboards the can get back

34:49

on. i'm in the dragon more the sure

34:51

you know like to do and radical. yes

34:53

yes I mean it depends on how badly

34:55

they bailed. sometimes it is pretty radical, sometimes

34:57

it's does distinctly not radical. But anyway if

34:59

they get a surfboard back get back to

35:02

sure the pre okay about his they lose

35:04

the surfboards they blow up underwater. It's real

35:06

bad us with a boat can come anywhere

35:08

near here. In fact of not just the

35:10

boats fuck with them, sometimes they just. Fuck

35:13

up know I'd I may explode shit

35:15

now so it's a real problem. Ah

35:17

for pretty much every by so they

35:19

can get the board. They're also like

35:21

using their zombie arms that are created.

35:23

Get the board back, integrate swimmers, No.

35:26

Not really some or all right of floating to

35:28

the think they've got like the gas flotilla more

35:30

for their we are exam. Yeah yeah yeah but

35:32

like the oh wow that's some I'm aware armor

35:34

sets or there's this whole line of distinctly and

35:36

tubular do just hey you know when to get

35:39

out there get armor the water just you know.

35:42

Hang ten and and and none of us, the

35:44

rest of us can do that right now. And

35:46

I guess Also, the ports are diner Something to

35:48

think. that's a major bummer for all the townsfolk

35:51

or wait for their cool goods and services from

35:53

the water and stuff. Yeah yeah, so these dudes

35:55

in. Line here. they don't have a problem with someone

35:57

like me were to cut. And do some

35:59

surfing before they get out. There are again

36:01

interrupting processing oil will I mean so that's

36:03

an interesting question. My do we we we

36:05

We need to figure that you know now

36:07

or we might need to or it is

36:09

gonna be crazy rabbit traffic to set of

36:11

down here for a few days now. an

36:14

admittedly a spin of couple of those days.

36:16

kind of confused but how clouds works but

36:18

then I got my mind focus back on

36:20

how to surf and really like surfing and

36:22

I have been. Ill do it like a

36:24

while and I do to cause so I

36:26

was thinking cues will we do you look

36:28

like you're kind of a fast nimble guy.

36:30

Yeah. I. Am also a festival

36:33

guy. We're not. Where does your flip

36:35

flops which make me admittedly a little

36:37

less nimble. Sure I take ease off.

36:39

You. May take us to be armor stuff

36:41

on second weekend they swim out there and

36:43

we just knock a couple these dudes after

36:45

board. oh the dude nail explode know you

36:48

got a big if we take a the

36:50

surfboards these do that have dealt spoke to

36:52

spoof a global food or water we might

36:54

be or swim with those boards and then

36:56

we can serve close enough to disagree Stuff:

36:58

he went out swim an explosion. Ah,

37:02

As I said, you were nibble. do I guess maybe

37:04

you're not that good stuff. Ah

37:06

I mean if we're both out there

37:08

so city where the guy for both

37:10

out there rock in it. Hard

37:13

all day everyday. Who's

37:16

gonna be back here watching it to

37:18

tell the tale as you go normally.

37:20

Now Ravens, your novelist Raven No, I

37:22

don't. Waters of there's a lifeguard right?

37:24

Years to say is not so not

37:26

oh normal. I know, know what? She's

37:28

actually pretty normal. That's.

37:31

Crazy would name's do her name's are

37:33

crazy but you know like some of

37:35

us either the guy and then they

37:37

don't want to feel or stuff on

37:40

so forth so. Are

37:42

you really the guy? Or you just some guy?

37:44

I'm I'm I'm I'm the guy Guy: you don't

37:46

have time her your yeah you're busy of your

37:48

I can tell. I'm

37:51

stuck in some sarcastic sides off you dude

37:53

in early seemed really when he said that

37:55

it who it was you know, read stuff

37:57

and harsh. I really believed you could see

37:59

roles. Hi. But like now. Absurd to

38:01

get a sense that maybe. Maybe.

38:05

Maybe you do Don't do jealous. Thought

38:07

we were thought we were bro's that

38:09

we're pals, buds, amigos. we are bros,

38:12

pals, buds, amigos, etc. It's won't won't

38:14

have exploded. Surf with me. Cause.

38:17

I think there's a cooler way to do

38:19

it. Or to do so. Listen.

38:23

I think it's pretty cool. If.

38:27

You go out there. Surfing.

38:30

Solo. Ah,

38:33

And die. And just do

38:36

what you. Said. You were gonna do

38:38

their. I'm. Also why I

38:40

used to see what the line up. Don't

38:42

know if you want to guess if he

38:44

said you are sir for man we can't

38:46

get surfboards is no serves no therefore no

38:49

absolutely I was make him yet I'm gonna

38:51

go through. Want to let me try to

38:53

confirm this dude on the beach than those

38:55

mobile apps are they all run in any

38:57

points to several craters a look and that's

38:59

what happened when people tried Citizen Read bits

39:01

that blood and guts Macgyver blood and guts.

39:05

All. Hopeless let her flat.

39:08

The fuck am I doing a oh thank

39:10

god I have had seen this elusive his

39:12

bible for like three minutes eye out for

39:14

dying. So yeah I mean. You.

39:16

Wanna you wanna play the game you want a

39:18

bit is you realize that you can cast, fly

39:21

and yourself? That's not the solution to have a

39:23

mother. Got

39:25

my right Susan Okay, yes you understand, goes

39:28

there, will push him officer or status or

39:30

fourth surf away from explosions and then the

39:32

guys will be to. They're going to

39:34

get in the water and swim towards us

39:37

but and we can serve in if we

39:39

catch a good enough ways. Get through the

39:41

guys hey check this though and assess.

39:43

why not take on the this guy who

39:46

just lets. You comes back as

39:48

we falls off or down

39:50

to size. Oh

39:53

wow he is one of

39:55

flying near a surfing zombie

39:58

and observe the magical. We're

40:00

with my I have to say

40:02

ah sure it you you observe

40:05

some just fine surfing. And.

40:08

Of the wisps are. But.

40:11

Traveling north west.

40:14

Northwest. Okay,

40:17

that's what I came here to to learn against

40:19

we don't have a talk to anyone. I wasted

40:21

enough time with the dude. I don't even say

40:23

goodbye to him. I fly away. From

40:29

the heads. Up

40:32

the coups my

40:34

hero. Is

40:36

there anything from my uniquely birds

40:38

eye perspective that I can match

40:40

the map to when we're talking

40:42

about other nearby? I'm. A.

40:45

Landmark landmarks think you are in terms of

40:47

like just as a side or reference instead

40:50

of northwest. I was kind of vaguely out

40:52

in the Bay of the Up of like

40:54

what is what on sure as is pointing

40:56

towards doesn't indicate that that's exactly what it's

40:58

going. From. But just something

41:00

like and can a up or it

41:03

points into kind of the old chancel

41:05

area so near the palace or near

41:07

the the hunting garden. it's that chunk

41:09

goes. So basically like are just got

41:12

her my map around for all these

41:14

secure the tables when it's audibly beautifully

41:16

that thank you so much ah on

41:19

an accent so he. You

41:21

been off the coast which is the literally on

41:23

their the compass as the east most point in.

41:27

The palace and the grounds are basically

41:29

the edge of like a rich People

41:31

and doc town before you reach kind

41:34

of the city proper. Okay ah, you

41:36

were previously at the Silver Lion which

41:38

is kind of in the dead center

41:41

of town. So that's

41:43

that's what you're saying. It's basically like

41:45

I say from your triangulation ah I'm

41:47

both the points that are pointing in

41:50

word give you pretty clear sense of

41:52

like roughly where. I'll get

41:54

like you can't regulate from this but you

41:56

can see what that were starting to see.

41:58

Palace rich people direction. The pals would have

42:01

averaged fuck is great and I just

42:03

want to basically hit lands in flight and

42:05

and be able to line that up. And.

42:07

Kind of have that as the map reference

42:10

that I can pointed at me like from

42:12

here it's going in the direction so I

42:14

can be accurate to have a battle hammer

42:16

to make a straight line with. I don't

42:18

have cable that has a fucking wacky line

42:20

summit. Only way to do it. I pick

42:22

pocketed the pen and parchment that he wrote

42:25

his secret unspoken letter to me with say

42:27

not like don't talk out loud He wanted

42:29

the point with a hammer so I'll have

42:31

the pan I guess Again, a few facts,

42:33

fantastic subjects I couldn't. You have a dynamically

42:35

huge and to successfully figure out your. Your

42:38

pointed direction on flying back to the Silver

42:40

Line and having meet their made a a

42:42

lifelong friend. In A in the

42:44

process. Next

42:54

up on the initiative order I

42:56

believe we had juniper. Ah so

42:58

you are headed to the Avenue

43:00

of Temples and I think as

43:03

someone who are as but a

43:05

lotta empty but various religions and

43:07

everything else of your your rival

43:09

to it is a honestly bit

43:11

of a treat. It is a

43:13

long line of of temples on

43:16

either side of of his massive

43:18

kind of large a lane way

43:20

and what you particularly like is

43:22

no one temples given prominence. Over

43:24

any the others they're all just kind

43:26

of take. yep, exactly much space as

43:29

they need an article would love for

43:31

whole. would love this. although. She.

43:33

Would probably. Now

43:36

having you had everyone who's talks with

43:38

a religion line up and give a

43:40

speech like you'd probably would lose him

43:42

soon as you would have a lot

43:45

to say these temples and but yet

43:47

he learned a long string of a

43:49

of temples but.you can hear the one

43:51

you're looking for as soon as you

43:54

you turn onto the of the lane

43:56

way because there's just echoing bells and

43:58

are kind of chimes. That are echoing

44:00

off all the other temple facades up and

44:02

down the streets. This is clearly meant to be

44:05

like add on special occasions and on the

44:07

our kind of thing that is not that

44:09

much. You actually see a lot of folks who

44:11

are making the way up and down the

44:13

avenue have stuff. Like Caitlyn

44:15

like wax in their ears. Him and here. Yet

44:17

because this is clearly just going on Twenty

44:19

four. So I am. So

44:22

as you make your way a long

44:24

as we described earlier you see folks

44:26

from all different walks of life. There

44:28

are beggars, there are rich folks are

44:30

paying their respects. There are some travelers

44:33

who came in via the bridge or

44:35

have come in via land who are

44:37

are either staying at temples or or

44:39

of them are paying respects up but

44:42

it's a a A remarkably. Normal.

44:44

Slice of Life for like

44:47

a a large, a large

44:49

city or the houses song

44:51

is. Very.

44:54

Strange. We designed but in a

44:56

way that's actually very pleasing. So

44:58

you seen a lot of serve

45:01

doughty over design as awesome. Went

45:03

through ten Logan said yes this

45:05

is instead. Just artistically

45:07

interesting that the building shapes are

45:09

very organic and odd. It's a

45:11

little bit like I'm a museum

45:13

of modern art compared to say

45:16

you know a natural history museum

45:18

that kind of I had ah

45:20

it has massive towers that amplify

45:22

the sounds of the the bells

45:24

and times you can see them

45:26

bringing their also a variety of

45:28

pinwheels and various other things that

45:30

respond or to the blowing the

45:32

wind or and outside there are

45:34

two raven silver even interns or

45:36

who. Are wearing full on earmuffs over

45:38

over their heads? or and there's a ditto

45:40

a rope that's been kind of drawn across

45:43

the or the pathway into the temple on

45:45

what I'm just kind of up holds a

45:47

hand up to you as as you approach

45:50

and over the noise as of sorry you

45:52

can't go in I'm going to speak normally

45:54

just know that they're yelling when when. I'm.

45:58

High and and. Per him

46:00

he may have heard of me and as

46:02

guard talk am I actually I have I've

46:05

for permission to. To. Go.

46:07

In or I'm sorry Juniper says garter

46:09

to us. You may have received permission

46:11

from the Artists of Meal to visit

46:13

this the temple somewhere, but it is.

46:16

It is currently closed due to. Zombies!

46:20

ah zone like you will have to worry

46:22

about outside or you can see any points

46:24

to like of arrival. Piles of of offerings

46:26

and things like artwork as a sketchbook someone

46:28

has put like you know a very find

46:30

loot and other things as I know you

46:33

as you can see be were just leaving

46:35

what what they want here but. You can't

46:37

You can't go inside. Ah,

46:41

At the end And sir, I'm sorry to

46:43

have permission from the Lord I Gov. Oh.

46:47

Well this is. This is the first we've heard of it

46:49

and we're very important. They

46:52

boasts straight up little bit. Other

46:54

to next. Okay and then

46:56

maybe. To. Second benefit of the

46:58

doubt would. Just pop and I

47:00

won't. Know. Interrupt any process. Ease

47:02

of this. Literally as good in

47:05

look. We get out for a very

47:07

important Minotaur and if we let you

47:09

id and he finds out area. First

47:13

made me to recipient by

47:16

Amanda. Approx Miss Yes, we just said

47:18

it. Suits. Has was practice.

47:21

Of course, because I have special permission to

47:23

be here. To. Have the evidence of that.

47:27

Can you just call him up and ask? For.

47:30

We can talk to him

47:32

about us several. I set

47:34

out to. Get

47:37

it, this? what I rolling history

47:39

plus law That's Not good. Six.

47:42

You don't remember if you've also got

47:44

perfect answer that. A

47:46

bronze ravens a draw from the the

47:48

office so he either you're right that

47:50

that a brother or a bar India

47:52

barring the days. Ago

47:55

so but holders declared he had one. Make sense

47:57

for but whole but ads for free regional difference

47:59

m It's a. Uber! how do you want trying to

48:01

pass? This is and. I

48:03

think a hidden, just give me one second. Spanish.

48:07

Is go to another dimension that

48:09

all the buyer has. This is

48:11

incredible light of the moon. Yeah,

48:15

oh as fit. As in

48:17

that case, Okay, and. You

48:20

know what? All

48:22

I really wanted to do. And

48:26

the biggest. Issue not over the pan flute

48:28

and I heard that Lexi plays. And

48:30

I can. I just wanted to to to. Play. With

48:33

with her. To New

48:35

Rule A Persuasions That's really

48:37

sweet. Twenty

48:40

one of. I'd

48:42

hundred twenty with my ninety asthma. So

48:46

they. Offered return. Like all.

48:49

I think. We. Should

48:51

let. You

48:53

distractor ah, abroad and. Slowly

48:56

pulling out. The pens live in

48:58

my bag. gather both. this time only

49:00

we is it was he is in

49:02

there but we can't let them in

49:04

interrupter of the gold. Medal

49:08

as an art project to be performed

49:10

certain. Ones long

49:12

and actively play with. oh I

49:14

know what, I've gotta my head.

49:19

But he avenue and the home improvement these from. A

49:22

up I have a handsome it's has to give on

49:24

the a very good burger. To

49:29

read: Sandstorm knuckles up with the horrible things

49:31

that sounds read on the planet. Worst. Thing

49:33

I thought of was like funky town and. I.

49:38

Saw the canal. Know

49:43

only thirty am. I here who

49:45

turned out to give you advantage for

49:47

their feet. you could actually pull a

49:49

pretty decent focused on really Tesla, why

49:51

is it all the time And trumpeter

49:53

know my me the teacher worthless and

49:55

eleven where are your views Arab? yes

49:57

we were gonna stop. I got it

49:59

out. Whoop! It.

50:04

Up. So you search

50:06

for Forty Town or and your little rusty

50:08

other a of and now locked out in

50:10

a while and. The. Two guards

50:12

turtle rooms like set. A

50:15

funky town or and you know

50:17

you just you're you're playing away

50:19

and assists Kirchhoff any of like

50:22

choral singing and bells and chimes

50:24

and. He starts to lose

50:26

yourself in in a saga. Lobos is nice

50:28

to be playing and playing a tune again

50:30

I and lo and behold as you do

50:32

so that the song starts to get richer.

50:35

As. Use your someone else playing

50:37

under it and just filling in

50:39

Ah is a the gaps and

50:41

slowly eyes through that the open

50:44

doors of the the temple you

50:46

to see to a clothing feet

50:48

start to kick ah tic past

50:50

the door Harry Sullivan seat and

50:52

slowly but surely a a seder

50:54

emerges Ah and she's wearing just

50:57

like a. Like.

51:00

A sort of like a knee length

51:02

coat I'm open with a bunch of

51:04

pockets. he's got like a frilled shirt

51:06

on underneath a she's got a bunch

51:08

instruments slung over back and like kind

51:10

of off of pox and other things

51:12

as easy traveling, bit heavy and she's

51:14

just like blasting away on on a

51:16

her pet food as well. and then

51:19

as she comes out into the the

51:21

door like eyes closed for rocking out

51:23

as she looks up. But.

51:25

Sees you and fumbles it. I.

51:27

Just goes. Holy fucking Shit.

51:30

Your. Juniper.

51:33

This episode of Sometimes and Dragons features

51:35

the voices of Ryan the plan to

51:37

add to be right amount on Twitter

51:39

Tyler underscore sweet on twitter floor and

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yell hamstring up when as an Rts

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51:47

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51:49

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51:55

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51:57

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52:26

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52:32

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52:41

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54:01

table and hauling network. Where. Fiction

54:03

producers flourish. Good.

54:07

Evening. And. Welcome to Strange Air.

54:11

I'm your host Malcolm Smith and I'll be

54:13

here for the next four hours taking your

54:15

cause as we explore the outer regions of

54:17

reality. Ten years ago,

54:20

Malcolm Smith banished from the face of

54:22

the. Earth. One moment

54:24

he was on the air in the

54:26

middle of the sentence and the next

54:29

moment he was gone. People who believe

54:31

anything. So. What

54:33

do you think happens? I

54:36

believe your father stage the

54:38

whole thing. I believe you'd

54:40

daddy was taken. Do.

54:42

You believe in miracles? I guess people believe

54:44

what they want to believe. I believe I

54:46

have a little more wine. Is

54:49

time you heard the truth

54:51

about your father. Completely insane.

54:54

Did someone hit you? And

55:00

going to sign my. Strange.

55:04

Available wherever you listen to podcasts.

55:07

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55:09

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