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I am the Great Wizard Bukake, your host.

2:33

Our heroes are finding the Zombin puppet

2:36

master. Quinni was discovered inside the mansion

2:38

before magically escaping, while Garthok was nearly

2:40

arrested outside my fake silver raven, just

2:43

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2:55

and Dragon! You

3:01

have taken three definitely for Reel

3:03

Z's silver raven captive,

3:06

having killed and revived one, sent

3:08

one to another dimension, and then

3:10

beat her unconscious, and having

3:12

saved one's life after he was poisoned by

3:14

his friend. You have them

3:16

tied up behind Galen Manor, where

3:19

Quinni you infiltrated and discovered was full

3:22

of zombies. And

3:24

they seem to be aware that they're shenanigans afoot.

3:27

They managed to catch you, but then you dimensioned

3:29

Dord out. So they aren't sure where you

3:31

went. You're not sure what's going on in there,

3:33

but what you are sure is that you've got

3:35

three goons and Butthole, I

3:37

believe you had some questions for them. So

3:41

as we ended last time, Brick,

3:43

let's have a chat. Yeah, so

3:46

Brick, it's time for us to have a conversation.

3:48

So I'm King Butthole. This is Quinni. Quinni, Brick

3:50

was the one who we captured first and then

3:52

the other shot and poisoned, trying to kill Brick.

3:55

And Quinni, you recognize the dwarf as the one who entered

3:57

the mansion. Yeah, I saw this guy come in and snap

3:59

for some reason. zombies so wait did he go

4:01

into the cannon room he did did he get

4:03

shot by the cannon he did not hey

4:06

brick how did you not get shot by that cannon but

4:09

bricks the orc this the dwarf is the one that

4:11

I saw oh I thought brick was the dwarf no

4:13

my name's stan if anyone thought

4:15

to ask oh sorry I'm gonna call

4:17

you brick well but

4:19

no no no we want to talk to

4:21

wait so then so talk you're dealing with

4:23

brick the dwarf is stan

4:25

oh you're technically right I'm gonna regag

4:29

stan brick

4:31

how did stan not get

4:33

shot by the cannon oh

4:36

and like even now his eyes dart to Trent who's

4:38

giving him just like oh we need to separate these

4:40

yeah we're gonna we're gonna just I'm gonna take out

4:42

my blanket from my bedroom to lay it over to

4:44

you anymore quick

4:48

do you want to sit on Trent so if if she does

4:50

anything we know yeah sure I'm

4:54

not that heavy Trent something so

4:56

dramatic all right don't worry about

4:59

Trent right now because I based on the style

5:01

of leadership I've met in this place I'm thinking

5:03

there's a whole lot of death penalties so I

5:06

don't want you to die but your friends already shot you

5:08

do you see this this guy over here and he points

5:10

that standing he's like clearly tried to kill you

5:13

the moment you're getting captured I don't have

5:15

that kind of thing here's the other thing I

5:17

have diplomatic immunity and that means you could too

5:19

if I make you a citizen of my nation

5:21

so we can do that we can make this all go away

5:24

and you get to go live a happy life in a place

5:26

where there's no death penalty or you can go to hell extend

5:28

did and probably will again mmm

5:33

it's done yeah I don't need to think from

5:35

him break break what's going on like what just

5:38

tell us what's happening you seem like a reasonable

5:40

person you're only persuading also

5:42

kind of intimidation but yeah

5:44

I'm part of guide thought of myself try to win

5:46

this person over third

5:50

dirty 20 dirty 20

5:53

so yeah with with the

5:55

blanket squarely placed on top

5:57

of Trent he looks uses weight

6:00

No fooling. You'd make me

6:03

a citizen of your nation? As long as you'd

6:05

stop doing crimes, yeah, we'll find you a real

6:07

stable job. You can have good income. No one's

6:10

going to poison you randomly. I think it's going

6:12

to be an upgrade. Okay, but it's not really

6:14

how a particular enterprise works. If they hear that

6:17

I rat it out, anybody, they'll find me,

6:19

man. Oh, I would

6:21

love that because they're not going to touch you.

6:24

So I just need them to show up somewhere so we can resolve

6:26

this problem. Yeah,

6:30

Brick, you clearly know a whole bunch

6:32

of stuff. You're clearly invaluable to us.

6:36

Brick, you know the whole world was covered in zombies and

6:39

everything was bad? Yeah, I remember that. That was real bad.

6:41

Yeah, so the people in charge of that must have been

6:43

super powerful, right? Oh yeah, real powerful. Yeah, we killed them.

6:46

Oh, shit. Yeah,

6:50

Brick. Oh, shit. Wow,

6:53

okay. Okay, look,

6:57

yeah, okay, okay.

6:59

Yeah, if you

7:02

can just clear my record and just like, put

7:04

me in the program or whatever, get me away

7:06

from there. And like, Stan is just like, Stan,

7:09

I've got another blanket, man, shut up. And

7:12

he's like, yeah, just the other knives, they

7:15

don't take nicely to people flipping on them,

7:17

you know? Oh, yeah, that, I can

7:19

understand that, but they don't need to know.

7:22

Okay, okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay,

7:24

all right, yeah, we, Pinky

7:26

Square, I mean, it like rolls over and puts his little- Ah,

7:28

Pinky Square, this seems like a cool guy. All right, yeah. The

7:30

legal binding Pinky Square. Oh, 100%. I'm

7:33

a king. Oh, that's legit. That's a Chief

7:35

Justice right there. That's true. That's the Minister

7:37

of Culture. This is a poetic moment. Okay,

7:39

good. All right, well, what do

7:41

you want to know? I

7:44

want to know what's going on

7:47

with these zombies. Like, what's happening? This seems like a

7:49

weird thing nobody knows anything about, and clearly you know.

7:52

Yeah, well, we were told to, if anybody

7:54

was looking too close to the house, we

7:56

were to show up and arrest them, wearing

7:58

these silver raven outfits. So we saw

8:01

the Chief Justice, I think, over here.

8:03

Yeah. He was lurking out front, and

8:06

we thought that maybe we could just go up and have

8:08

some. We thought maybe it was another crew trying to move in and case

8:11

the joint. And who gave

8:13

you these directives? They

8:16

came from headquarters. They struck a

8:18

deal with the Heaton in

8:20

the mansion. Heaton?

8:24

So what's a Heaton? Well, that's all we know

8:27

him by. He's holed up there. He's been

8:29

there for a long time, and he

8:31

didn't want anybody causing any hassle for him. So

8:33

we were supposed to bust him. He's

8:36

controlling all the zombies? Look, I don't

8:39

know. We didn't ask any questions, but there's a lot

8:41

of zombies in there, and they

8:43

don't bother him none, so maybe. Okay. I

8:45

got to ask. Did you not

8:47

ask a lot of questions, or did Trent... Do you get your

8:49

info from Trent? Yeah. I

8:51

mean, Trent runs our little crews

8:54

right now. No,

8:56

we're members of... Now

8:58

he's really saying this is

9:01

difficult for him. This is one of those rapping

9:05

on breaking Omerta things

9:07

versus the

9:09

night knives. We

9:11

don't work in teams all the time, but sometimes

9:13

to case certain joints. So, no,

9:16

we take our orders from the

9:18

boss. Okay. Who's the

9:20

boss? Oh, geez, man. Come

9:22

on. We're going to go to

9:24

another country. You don't need to know that, right? Yeah,

9:26

but we have to know who to protect you from if

9:28

we're going to protect you. Yeah, also, if you're going to

9:30

hold back, I mean, I thought we pinky swore and you

9:32

were going to tell me things, and now it's like you're

9:34

not telling me things. Oh, hang on, hang on, hang on,

9:36

hang on. Let's not speak

9:38

ill to pinky promise. Brick meant what

9:40

he said. I think, Brick,

9:43

there's maybe room for one extra

9:45

citizen in our kingdom right now. So

9:49

you've got the spot, but if you don't

9:51

give us the info we need, I mean, we've got two other

9:53

potential candidates here. Minister of Culture. intimidation

10:02

I'll

10:04

spend my one inspiration

10:08

see if we can you can bump those numbers

10:10

up yeah

10:15

from a seven to a sixteen plus

10:19

three for nineteen nineteen well

10:21

beats is seven and

10:23

he goes okay yeah

10:27

I want that I want that spot because we

10:29

put pinky swore and I can't if

10:31

I told you already I can't I can't live here

10:34

no more so but let's

10:36

just say that they like

10:38

gets real quiet someone comp

10:41

holes the night knives if you know what I

10:43

mean oh it's the comptroller

10:45

that makes more

10:49

sense okay why it's such a vague description

10:51

of the job so the cop troller

10:53

made a deal with the Heaton who

10:56

lives under this

10:58

mansion that's the best we

11:01

know if the Heaton in the

11:03

sewers no no we thank

11:05

God I was worried about you yeah yeah no we

11:07

used we use the sewers a lot my

11:10

understanding is the comptroller and the

11:12

Heaton haven't really like they're not

11:14

friends we just we

11:17

came to an understanding that if we

11:19

you know leave him

11:21

alone and keep things

11:24

if you guys want

11:26

me an insight on

11:28

this guy 13 net

11:31

20 the comptroller

11:33

specifically hired you to look into the zombies

11:35

and if he had to deal with the

11:38

Heaton that would be a really shitty plan

11:40

for him yeah yeah so no he made

11:42

a deal and like they're not friends and

11:44

nothing but like we need

11:47

those sewers and we need access to stuff

11:49

so like he's you know

11:51

right there kind of two options here brick I

11:54

don't want to get menacing but I don't have

11:56

to because you've lived a bad life when you die you're gonna go

11:58

to a terrible place for a So right now

12:01

your chance for redemption is a long life doing

12:03

good things. You're

12:05

either wrong, which is adorable,

12:07

and then I'll talk to Trent to try to find

12:09

out the right answer, or you're

12:11

lying. And I think it's the

12:13

second thing. Whoa, we pinky

12:15

swore. I think it's the second thing too.

12:17

We pinky swore that you would be a

12:20

rat, and right now you're a wererat. I

12:22

don't need a wererat. I'm

12:25

sorry Trent, I tried. I tried. And Trent's

12:27

just like flailing around under you, Quinn. I'm

12:29

gonna have precision. Kate coming off.

12:31

He goes, fine, fine. It's Trent. Trent runs

12:33

the place. She's looking after it personally. She's the one,

12:35

she told us to play in the compro. Trent's like fighting against the thing. There's

12:38

not that many night knives. We need the sewers, the zombies, we're getting

12:40

at us, so we just, we struck a deal, and we thought

12:45

we could pin her on that fucking blowhard guy. I'm

12:55

sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm

12:58

really scared of her, man. All

13:00

I've ever known. I've known her since we were kids.

13:03

Wow, and she's willing to kill you. That's pretty

13:06

dark. Okay. I

13:09

feel like we might have to talk

13:11

to Trent now. Do you guys have any more?

13:13

Brick, do you have something on you that means I can and won't

13:15

shoot you that shat my friend? No,

13:18

the Heaton just doesn't,

13:21

his traps and things that he

13:23

built in the house, they

13:25

don't shoot us because he knows what

13:27

we've got, like, scanned our faces

13:29

or some weird shit. I don't

13:31

know. Scanned your faces? Yeah, you know, because some

13:33

of us have had to come and go, so

13:35

we had to stand in front of this thing

13:37

and it looked at our faces for a long

13:39

time. He's really good at technology and stuff. Can

13:42

I try something, Tom? Can I try something? Oh yeah,

13:44

I thought you meant Brick. He was like, no! Can

13:50

I cast Minor Illusion

13:53

over my own face? To just

13:56

be a copy of Bricks? Miserie

14:00

mask like a Halloween rubber mask. Yeah. Do you

14:02

have a spell slot right now? It's a cantrip

14:04

resolution This is all I've got left of my

14:06

cancer Eldritch blast mage hand

14:09

minor illusion Yeah, I'll give it

14:11

to you. I mean won't be perfect. Yeah, but as

14:15

Described we're not dealing with a typhus level

14:17

of technology here So if there is any

14:19

kind of face scanning it odds are it's

14:21

not like well I'm assuming it's on site

14:23

as opposed to like lasers or infrared and

14:25

stuff like that Also, Quinny doesn't know what

14:27

those things are No, no, but yeah if

14:29

you can approximate a face Okay,

14:32

there's like 20 do not my face. I was like

14:34

I hadn't tried that before so cool Okay,

14:39

so I feel like the face

14:41

things good we could talk to Trent now I feel

14:43

like to get other stuff I get a perception checks

14:45

from all three of you Dirty

14:52

20, I don't know if it matters 13

14:55

person not that great perception apparently butthole

14:58

and guard talk you hear

15:00

shuffling from around in front of the

15:02

mansion and a small

15:07

Group of zombies is shuffling around the

15:09

corner towards you how many zombies for

15:12

carrying instruments Yes,

15:14

I Don't

15:17

I'm assuming with a 13. I'm not the one

15:19

who clocks them so no no no you're busy.

15:21

Yeah, I uh face I yeah

15:23

for my bit during this moment. I'll

15:25

probably call precision again to free up

15:27

Trent for questioning But I'm not I'm

15:29

not catching catching a glimpse of

15:31

these zombies Butthole

15:36

should I set up a moonbeam barrier That

15:41

I'm like Ryan trying to play this is

15:43

very in-world that probably just

15:46

makes them explode Let's

15:50

get a little more distance See

15:53

what happens. I'll take this one of this one that he

15:55

throws Brick and stand

15:57

over one shoulder he goes Queenie. You're on

15:59

that one points to Trent, probably

16:01

the sneakiest. Uh, gotta talk. Yeah, let's

16:04

see what happens with those zombies, but first let's do a little

16:06

bit of a run. And he's just gonna start booking it, carrying

16:08

two people away from the zombies that are coming. What

16:10

are you guys doing? They're zombies that are idiots. Oh!

16:13

Just trying to drag this person who, I don't,

16:15

is this a human woman Trent? Yeah, yeah, like,

16:18

tall, circular. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

16:20

Like an old man, yeah, rolling his strength check.

16:23

Strength, so that's a natural one. So

16:26

with Lucky I'll reroll that and really, you

16:28

know, blow your socks off with another natural

16:30

one. Uh, the

16:32

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Kart. Crazy. Intrigue.

20:48

Can I hack into the body and maybe

20:50

see if I have like a memory data

20:52

bank in my brain or some shit like

20:54

that. That'll literally. Devastating

20:56

physical injury. Oh, I cover. She's a good pilot,

20:59

everyone. Very good. And friendship.

21:01

New episodes of Looters out every

21:03

Tuesday wherever you get your podcasts.

21:22

So, so, butthole

21:24

and guard talk. Butthole you're running

21:26

guard talk. I assume you're moving with butthole and then you're

21:29

gonna throw the. Oh, yeah, I've just

21:31

I've just wheeled like I've spun myself around. So

21:33

I'm like moving backwards and just ready to throw

21:35

my hands out to call forth the light of

21:37

the moon. Yeah. Okay.

21:40

So the two of you do that. Queenie, you start

21:42

to drag Trent, but

21:45

you roll the double one. Yeah. Which

21:47

is deeply, deeply bad. So

21:50

I don't think it's that bad. I'm

21:53

pretty sure the numbers go lower on the equivalent

21:55

to an 18. He probably did it. Yeah.

21:58

This is the stealth check. So.

22:02

Are you holsters or gets

22:04

hot? You start to drag

22:07

a. Trent. Away. Only.

22:09

To suddenly that like you pull

22:12

you pole and the next time

22:14

you lean forward to grab her

22:16

to poll a she actually grabs

22:18

you by the front scruff of

22:20

a knack. for us this ah

22:22

yells you and me little man

22:25

or and she rolls into the

22:27

zombies. By. Pulls you

22:29

in into into zombie town.

22:31

Great Ah so. Guard.

22:34

Hawk, you're rolling away. You

22:37

turn around to throw up

22:39

moonbeam and see Quinney and

22:41

sense. Surrounded. By

22:44

the zombies have shuffled up thought who are all started

22:46

to scream what You do. For.

22:48

Not that far away. From Me And are they. You

22:51

moved mean you were trying to get. How

22:53

far you talk and cause you trento like actively

22:55

get to distance with pothole so they're not light.

22:58

If you theoretically feels the same turned you would

23:00

move thirty. Could you don't need can? Yeah yeah

23:02

yeah. But. You would have

23:04

been in rained for moonbeam so. presumably.

23:09

Yeah, narrow. Didn't.

23:13

Expect so much as as combat encounter to

23:15

happen in the size yard as fast as.

23:18

I just sell their. Targets like

23:20

were killed around as like has

23:22

been around as just like lifting

23:24

his eyes as it's light of

23:26

them an advantage of and then

23:29

nifty steps immediately. He's sue

23:31

to to quinney just.

23:33

Grabs him around the middle, of

23:36

the and then dimension door as. Many

23:38

out about it as you like falling

23:40

back on your chair early cutting the

23:42

dusty plenty. I just like Demand or

23:44

hundred percent more. I like to have

23:46

more than to spell slots. Absolutely

23:49

magical. I mean we fail or other

23:52

check so really balance it out us

23:54

are at yeah I agree. I

23:57

guess the only good thing or to pick the role

23:59

here. And oppose check. To.

24:02

See if. The Trinity think I'm

24:04

hoping that an egg. Red

24:07

Sox assess assess. Er

24:09

in a row? pretty high, but do you control who

24:11

goes with you through the mentioned organ? Bring a

24:13

lot. You can also bring

24:15

one willing creature. Of your size

24:18

or smaller. And smaller.

24:21

Creatures. So I imagine this is like it's like

24:23

it's not like I'm pulling him away in the

24:25

physical. Run up the I'm popping out of

24:27

this the I'd have said.a sort of matter

24:29

she didn't She can't hold on to see

24:32

his grasses and Irving Miss impressed with area

24:34

and a case unless they have is less

24:36

than she said to me was you and

24:38

me little man with. A

24:40

guard talk appearing in a puff of

24:42

misty silvery vapor. I'll just look back

24:44

and heard smiled like adding is just

24:46

huge rent as. Amazing

24:49

as you dimension doorway of

24:51

zombies or scream and pop

24:53

song guy that action. Yes,

24:59

Ah, theoretically off. A

25:02

I know we we're every to stand by this.

25:04

I probably would a desk so I won't. Otherwise

25:06

I know we all know smelling the capital. Of

25:09

the although and know. What

25:16

I think I would adapt? I'll

25:18

I would. Yup. Yup. fair enough.

25:20

Ah, Alright so the the zombies

25:22

burst, ah in a a clanging

25:24

of of exploding instruments or shredding

25:26

trends and themselves. And. Is.

25:29

Leaving a Gris, we. Crater

25:33

in the ground. But

25:36

i you can start to here in

25:39

the distance screams and that the sounds

25:41

of of explosions ah and days it

25:43

seems that shit certain certain a pop

25:46

off around the city. Alright,

25:49

so we fucked up another zombies as

25:51

bad as breaks or stem. Clearly.

25:53

Your friend trends daddy's is going to undermine people

25:55

who are gags. Here's the deal are you guys

25:57

are both Could have to be heroes. Specifically,

26:00

you stand the most or you

26:02

can go like Trent opinions. And.

26:06

Brick says up who put part meme my

26:08

Lord of the get him at Mit may

26:11

I raise a hand for it for question.

26:13

Such. May may resent. To

26:16

ask the question. Really? there's a time on. Had

26:19

you I can future with my hands bound. Agreed. we're going

26:21

to sort that out. Stand: You want to be heard, your

26:23

elected? as long as it will be zero. A hobo. Okay,

26:26

here's the deal. Quitting: you're gonna be armed guards. At

26:28

your Aunt I'm armed. We have a lot of magic

26:30

I need you to to go into disable that cannon.

26:33

Thought. It personally I can do

26:35

a quick question of when did my part

26:37

didn't. Like ass who do

26:39

all this when he was my pardon from

26:41

you. To get that you set up parts

26:44

that applied know how old are you living

26:46

in poverty that ground what when we were

26:48

like crime the heart and same time as

26:50

your pardon of course you're cramped apartment after

26:52

we save just seat okay great great yeah

26:54

I'll go I'll I'll go to disable the

26:56

that the the janitor okay go disabled advantage

26:58

of clears the zombies out of the that

27:01

i mean possible au pair yet break your

27:03

good he's going to untie bricks great Susie

27:05

to eat crabs obscure from his boots dixit

27:07

instance throat is like stuff consume. You piece

27:09

of shit or it. Now zero time with each

27:11

other as as. The last and staff of that stuff

27:13

And a flight A thought. Earth Object apart

27:15

later his team I mean technically gotta

27:18

know this when we really didn't get

27:20

has it was super more really really

27:22

said as okay. So.

27:25

Brings go back every like. Be.

27:27

As. Sub to you as.

27:31

Depends on how many, how many x for and feces

27:33

you want on the plane. Heading

27:38

into the little argument to eat a quick

27:40

message us to take it take to be

27:42

a do a snap prayer of any time.

27:45

as his beard forms his own boobs se

27:47

surrounded by magic for cut on our you

27:49

could say dad dad tried to sell zero

27:51

back to how said out of it's like

27:54

we should get to that front door unless

27:56

it was hidden away in the chimney and

27:58

it's really just for me And it's booby

28:01

trapped, which is crazy. The fireplace is booby trapped.

28:04

Okay, Quinny, do you want to put on a friendly face and you

28:06

can be the front? Do you want to go around corners in case

28:08

there's traps or shooters or something? Sure, yeah, yeah. Do you want to

28:10

take this guy's outfit? Yeah, dwarf

28:12

to halfling, it might

28:15

fit okay, yeah. Can you do his face? Minor

28:17

illusion, how do I look? Hey,

28:20

that's pretty good. I'm assuming because this is not what

28:22

minor illusion is for. It's like, it's one

28:24

expression. It does not move with my mouth. What expression do

28:26

you choose? I

28:30

just met this guy. Don't have a lot to go off, so

28:32

he just looks dead. Just like,

28:34

that's his sleepy face, right? And

28:38

just puts that on. The eyes are

28:40

closed, that's what we got. I

28:43

guess, just try not

28:45

to get stabbed by Brick because he's really not like this

28:47

guy. Oh yeah, yeah,

28:50

good point. I'll start untying

28:52

this guy. Just like three

28:54

heroes, Tom, so we'd like to strip this corpse. It's

28:57

been a while since you guys looted a body because you've been

28:59

bringing them back and befriending them. So I'm

29:02

happy for this. Funny you feel good about this, you're

29:04

in a happy place, yeah. All

29:07

right, great. Like old times, yeah, great. Yeah, all right.

29:09

Quinnie, you go around corners, we'll follow you. Let's

29:12

do this. Yeah, what kind of armor was this guy wearing? He

29:15

was wearing leather armor. Perfect. A

29:18

stealthy boy loves to hear that. Yeah, once you

29:20

take the silver raven sort of like, tunic

29:23

off, he's very clearly dressed like a rogue. In

29:26

that case, silver raven tunic on and I'll keep

29:29

my regular armor and stuff. Okay, super. Quinnie, did

29:31

you take your precision cloak off of Trent? I

29:33

did, I called it back. Yeah, I

29:36

called it back. Yeah, that would have been a different moment. And

29:40

I'll head around the front to see how

29:42

Brick is doing. Great, we

29:44

need you to deal with those traps and then

29:47

we just gotta ice this heathen because apparently zombies

29:49

are going fucking nuts. Okay, well get your hammers

29:51

and swords and whatever you want to break down

29:53

walls ready because the basement is bricked up. That's

29:57

fine, that's not a, not

29:59

a- a 20 infiltration specialty of mine. So

30:02

that's gonna be on you guys to muscle that down or figure

30:04

out, we'll figure out another way in. Yeah, we'll find a way

30:06

through that quick. Otherwise we'll go down, find Jimbo, go up through

30:08

the shitter. Yeah. Bombing

30:11

could go through the basement. Yeah, that's a good point. We

30:14

don't know how to do that though, so let's make a

30:16

hole. All right, so being led by the lively visage of

30:18

Sten, you

30:23

rush around the corner, butthole and gartark, I

30:26

think following a distance, is that kind of the? Yeah. Yeah.

30:29

As you come around the corner, you can

30:31

see smoke in the distance, and it's clear

30:33

that zombies are starting to

30:35

go bananas. Oh man, the High Lord Governor's

30:37

gonna be so mad. Yeah. Yeah.

30:39

Looks like the Heaton, as they call him, is

30:43

pulling the trigger on this. We're blaming this on Sten.

30:46

Oh, it's absolutely not our fault. So,

30:48

Quinnys Sten, you run up to

30:50

the front door, you

30:52

open it, and looking

30:55

in, you see a ghastly

30:57

scene, the walls are soaked in

30:59

gore. There

31:02

are a bunch of disabled

31:05

cannons at all

31:07

four points of this little entry hallway. All the

31:09

cannons. Yeah, the one on the statue

31:11

is a head, but there's four to melt anyone who

31:13

comes in through the front door. They

31:15

are hanging kind of disabled and damaged though,

31:18

because it's clear a bunch of zombies popped

31:20

off in this lobby. Oh, okay, I thought

31:22

I would see bricks smoking boots or something.

31:25

I mean, the boots aren't really left, but

31:27

it would seem he did manage to disable the guns

31:29

before the rest of the zombies in that lobby popped.

31:31

Oh, okay. Rest of the

31:33

zombies in the lobby popped, okay. The one on

31:35

the statue is still active, but it looks to

31:38

you and recognizes

31:40

Sten. So, just kind of like immediately locks onto

31:42

you, and then just drifts back to where it

31:44

was. Okay, in the doorway, I'll put a hand

31:46

up for you two to see me, and I'll

31:49

just say, without even turning my

31:51

head, because I'm worried about in the profile, like

31:53

this thing, taking something's up, and

31:57

say, bricks gone, everyone. He's

32:00

able to make some extra guns that I didn't know about, but

32:02

it looks like the The

32:04

rest of the staff got them there.

32:06

They've all popped in here. Okay, are

32:08

there any traps left? Hard

32:10

to tell can I check for

32:12

traps? Yep? Mm-hmm. And roll with

32:14

disadvantage because of Ranting

32:18

stem or this is persisting

32:20

you're looking for it's like That's

32:23

a perception. Yeah, it's a nine total nine not that

32:25

you can see not that I can see So we

32:28

just walk around and we're good should

32:30

be I'm gonna step around that corner Tom

32:33

roll to shoot me with the cannon. Oh Cannon

32:38

mrs I'm

32:42

going to How far away

32:44

is the cannon the cannon is I

32:46

would say about 120 feet away I'm

32:50

just gonna duck back out there 20 you

32:53

asshole. I didn't see that one

32:56

This is the statue cannon. Yeah,

32:58

right. I thought I'll

33:02

walk into the the entryway. Yep, and

33:06

You mentioned it was powered by look like some

33:08

kind of gem at the base or something like

33:10

that Yeah, you can disable it. I'm gonna see

33:12

having seen that you can probably just walk up

33:14

and okay disable it Yeah, okay. Take out the

33:17

or disable it. Yeah the gun do any

33:19

kind of indication of like Powering

33:22

down Drips

33:25

great. Okay, when he doesn't know what that means like

33:27

all the gun got sad And

33:31

then we all touch you are with your emotions now you can

33:33

recognize sadness When

33:36

they're sad When

33:40

he will Turn around. Oh, you

33:42

know what? That's on me

33:44

saying it was all clear and it wasn't

33:46

when he will remove the minor illusion mask.

33:48

He'll be the guinea pig Does

33:51

anything happen nothing? Okay, he

33:53

turns around through the open door. It says okay now

33:55

it should be good Are

33:58

you sure I

34:00

as sure as I was last time so

34:02

that So there's a cannon

34:05

the cannon still here, but I did turn it off.

34:08

I think Are

34:11

you sure it got sad and that's about all

34:13

I've got I took this thing out

34:15

of it I'll just throw the gym like out the door way

34:17

I Don't know

34:19

what that means. I was like oh fine You

34:21

think I know what it means it's stop it stopped

34:23

doing turret things when I took it away They'd better

34:25

be the dead sad and not the about the punisher

34:28

said I Took

34:30

my face off. It's not shooting me, so I think that's

34:32

a good sign okay, and then you do step through great

34:37

Yeah sure You

34:42

can add three so 13. You're

34:44

not good enough. Oh

34:47

my god I Take

34:51

the third I

34:54

rolled 28 points of damage

34:57

as the the spikes in the

34:59

floor and shoot up and and

35:03

crashing to you Bouncing you

35:05

fucking asshole. I One

35:08

job you've one job you dick

35:10

I Hate

35:14

you Well

35:24

let me come over there and take a look Come

35:29

over I don't know where those came

35:31

from Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,

35:33

yeah, okay, I hope so I'm gonna see if I

35:35

can disable 33

35:48

yeah once you start to clear the gore out

35:50

you can you can find the mechanism You're

35:53

definitely light enough that it didn't trigger for

35:55

you, but in in

35:57

digging around a bit. You're able to retract them And

36:00

you hear like a classic like, once

36:02

they go back, the trap equivalent

36:04

of a, as they get

36:07

locked in place. Yeah, the spikes got sad. Sad

36:09

spikes. And I'll say, okay,

36:11

well that should do it. Look,

36:14

this place is such a mess, it's hard to tell what's a

36:16

trap and what's not. Like it's painted

36:18

red in here, as you can now see. I'm

36:20

sorry though. I'm sorry. But just

36:22

admit when you don't know, sooner, I

36:24

don't think that's... I don't

36:27

think that's how perception works. I'm like, we're part

36:30

and healing. He doesn't care about your role. I

36:33

have to be confident. He's

36:36

going to cast Cure Wounds on himself and

36:38

he's going to heal 21 points of damage.

36:41

I look as hard as I always look. Just

36:43

do better. This is a clear note from

36:45

me to you. Don't let

36:48

me get stabbed again. Also, I'm going to do... You

36:50

check the next room, jump up a down or whatever, and

36:52

he's going to go back outside. He's going to

36:54

think of Stan's body and come

36:56

back in and be like, let's go to the next room. I'm

37:01

holding a dead naked dwarf that I could

37:03

throw on the floor. Next room,

37:05

I'm going to throw on the floor.

37:08

There's so much furniture in here. I

37:13

have to walk to the furniture, Tom. I have four

37:15

rune cannons and spikes. I

37:18

like it. I respect it. Suddenly,

37:21

Stan isn't NPC. I want to keep it right. Yeah, I

37:23

just did. The

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38:03

tableandfolly.com/survey today. As

38:11

I described to Quinnie a couple episodes ago, none of you were there.

38:13

We're in a sort of a large

38:15

central grand room. There's the

38:18

statue that has been seemingly disassembled

38:20

a bit with a laser for

38:22

ahead. Two curved staircases leading

38:24

up to a landing which Quinnie knows

38:26

leads to a bedroom on the right.

38:28

You're not sure what the door on

38:31

the left leads to. From

38:33

the ground to your left is a door leading

38:35

into the dining hall. To your right is a

38:37

door leading into the library. Behind the statue are

38:40

the stairs down into the basement that have been bricked off.

38:44

You don't hear any movement coming from the dining

38:46

hall or the library. Do you

38:49

think that's what was in the lobby? By

38:53

my count, there were five

38:56

zombies left that I could see in

38:59

the lobby. I don't know how much of them are on

39:01

the walls and ceiling and floor now, but

39:04

five. Can I roll

39:06

a perception to get the quantity of

39:09

blood and viscera? How many zombies were

39:11

in this spray of blood? 17. You

39:13

look real hard

39:17

and can't tell because it's just

39:19

viscera. I

39:21

don't know. I mean, I was thinking

39:24

maybe if I saw five hearts or

39:26

five stomachs or five brains, but everything's

39:28

kind of all mushed together. All

39:31

right. Well, keep a lookout for zombies, I guess,

39:33

and Butthole is going to throw

39:36

stem across the threshold into the next room

39:38

on the floor. Which room,

39:40

though? The one right

39:42

in front. He hasn't left the front hallway.

39:44

He got stabbed there. It's a central canon

39:46

room. Oh, yeah. So you hurl the body

39:49

in there and it lands with a meaty

39:51

flak and slides in that

39:53

awful skin sliding on tile.

39:56

And then he's just going

39:58

to take his hand. hammer

40:00

out and just push the body in front of him like

40:02

a broom? Yeah, like a grizzly

40:04

curler. 100%. He just needs the weight that's

40:06

not under his feet. He's like, we're

40:09

going down and we can try the bricks, right? Yeah,

40:12

it's straight through here. And Quinnie will lead.

40:14

He'll put on his minor illusion mask

40:19

and walk further into the

40:21

entranceway. Sure, yeah. So the

40:24

big central area doesn't seem to be,

40:27

nothing's happening in here beyond what

40:29

already occurred. Quinnie, can you roll me, I

40:31

think it's

40:33

probably still insight, or I'd take investigation

40:35

if you want, if you're kind of keeping an eye

40:37

out. Has it been more than 10

40:39

minutes since we arrived? At

40:42

the mansion? Yes. Okay.

40:45

Can't detect good and evil anymore? No. Metal

40:47

Gear Quinnie took at least 10 minutes of sneaking and

40:49

stealthing. Yeah, I was pretty careful there. That

40:52

was a hopeful ask. It's

40:55

no hope at this time. What skill check

40:57

were you looking for? Investigation. So

41:00

that's a total of 11. 11?

41:03

Okay. Yeah, unfortunately, you

41:05

aren't picking up on the logic of this place,

41:07

so nothing for you. Okay.

41:09

I will say, this

41:12

looks fine. I'm not 100 million,

41:15

billion percent sure. There's no traps, but

41:18

I'm standing here. I'm intact.

41:20

I'm going to go a little further in.

41:24

Wish me luck. Okay. Just a second. Let's

41:26

try something. Butthole would like to take out

41:28

his porcelain mask that moves as the wearer

41:31

talks and put it on Sten's

41:33

body so it doesn't look like Sten anymore. Let's

41:35

go, hoo, and use your thought as a

41:37

body that doesn't look like Sten's in the

41:40

room, face up. In

41:43

the big central room, nothing happens. This

41:46

might be an entrances only kind of thing. I'm

41:48

not making assumptions anymore. Fair enough. It's

41:50

your feet. Yep. Okay. Okay.

41:52

Anyway, this is where the bricks are. Okay.

41:55

Are there traps in the bricks? I'll

41:58

check. to

42:00

check for traps in bricks. Sure. Go

42:02

ahead and roll please. That's

42:05

perception? Yep. You're gonna love

42:07

this. So that's a seven. No.

42:10

No, yeah, it's fine. Way up. Just stems

42:12

body wearing a mask slams into the wall

42:15

next to you. Quinn,

42:18

I need you to roll a deck save. You

42:21

can add three. Thank you. So

42:23

now that they're a natural one. I love the C20, by the way. Please

42:25

buy this and take this away from me forever. Lucky.

42:28

Throw it in the ocean. Give

42:30

it to your enemy. There we go. 12

42:32

plus three. Yeah. So 15

42:34

plus a deck save. Yep. Okay.

42:41

So you're able to get well clear as

42:43

just like electric

42:46

energy arcs into, it's like touching

42:48

an electric fence. So electric energy

42:50

arcs into Sten's body and

42:53

Quinnie the damage with 14 damage, which

42:56

would be halved because you passed your check, but I imagine you're

42:58

going to uncanny. I'm going to use evasion and not take any

43:00

damage yet. Great. But Sten's body

43:03

arcs with electricity jerks

43:06

around, twisting and shaking, and

43:10

fries against the, continues to

43:12

be arc damaged against the

43:14

wall. The porcelain mask shatters.

43:17

Oh, all right. I need you to turn that

43:19

off. But I'll say it's pointing at it. All

43:21

right. Not knowing it was there

43:23

to begin with, and I'm assuming Quinnie's a little bit

43:25

on the back foot like how does this even work?

43:28

Correct. It's brick. And

43:30

electricity is flowing through it. That's

43:33

wild. I would like

43:35

to, Gartok is like

43:37

having followed in butthole's precise

43:40

path. He's

43:42

just going to say, Quinnie, give me your hand. All

43:44

right. And I'll reach out and give Gartok

43:46

my hand. And just kind of taps him on

43:49

the top of the hand and just says, you're protected

43:52

from lightning. Can

43:54

you just say that? Well,

43:56

no, I'm just letting you know what happened. I did

43:59

that. Oh. I cast this

44:01

what is it what does that mean is he

44:03

like immune Like

44:06

you're not right, I mean you're protected from like

44:10

Approximately half of the damage. Oh, so what you're saying

44:12

is like he's protected, but he's not immune correct

44:14

Can you make someone immune from lightning? No?

44:17

Okay, that's good to know too bad for

44:19

Jimbo. Jimmothy anyway Let's

44:21

try I'm just saying

44:23

you could try some stuff. Yeah. Yeah won't be

44:26

hurt as badly I'm gonna try mage hand to

44:28

just kind of prod at this wall and see

44:30

if I can figure out how and

44:32

where this electrical You're

44:40

on the investigation 15

44:44

15 Okay, the hand begins

44:46

to kind of prod at

44:49

the wall And you can

44:51

tell the hand isn't getting much like as you're you're

44:53

poking around the sides and stuff And

44:55

eventually you just kind of wrap on it with

44:58

me the hand and the

45:00

concrete pings Metallically.

45:02

Oh Can

45:04

I have true sight to see if this is like illusion

45:06

magic? Sure It

45:09

is like to see through an illusory wall.

45:11

Yeah. Yeah Looking at it. There

45:14

is no illusion other than just

45:16

really fucking good paint It

45:18

is a metal. It's metal, but just been that

45:20

all but it was really camouflaged as brick. Yeah

45:23

So it's metal actually it's not brick, okay Okay,

45:28

then with that information Can I look a

45:30

little closer and with more intention to find

45:32

any kind of mechanism in the metal like

45:35

a lock or a latch? Or

45:37

any kind of switch sure you

45:39

don't need to roll for this because looking at it

45:41

This does feel more like traps you see in the

45:43

past There's clearly mechanism on the other

45:45

side and there's nothing on this

45:48

side. This isn't a door. This is literally a block So

45:52

someone has slabbed up this entrance

45:54

way and has wired something

45:57

into the back of it, but there's nothing on

45:59

on the side open it. Do I

46:01

see the wires? No, they're on

46:03

the other side. It's on the other side

46:05

and it's a wall. Yeah, it's basically you

46:07

would have to rig it from the other

46:09

side and with no intent of ever leaving.

46:11

Okay, I'm

46:13

pretty sure that Hayden has

46:16

sealed him or herself in

46:18

to the basement never

46:20

expecting to leave ever ever again. This

46:24

can't be opened from this side. It

46:26

was not designed to be opened from the

46:28

outside ever after being installed. Okay.

46:30

All right. That doesn't mean they're not leaving though. I

46:33

mean if I do what it looked like down there I could dimension

46:35

door the hell in my way into that. I mean

46:37

there could be another entrance. There could be a way

46:39

into this from the side maybe. I'm

46:42

just saying this was a doorway. Oh

46:44

yeah. At one point it's just never going to be

46:46

that again. Okay, can you get Stan's body back? Was

46:49

Stan what? Just try and mage hand it off.

46:51

I need a strength check from you as mage

46:54

hand. Mage hand can't lift more than

46:56

10 pounds. You're not lifting your pulling. Okay.

46:59

Strength check. 18 minus 117.

47:01

So the hand just like drags

47:06

hard on on Stan as he continues

47:08

to like shake electrically and

47:10

yeah you can't lift but you pull

47:12

and eventually the body falls away crisp

47:15

and smoking. All right. I'll

47:18

look to Butthole and say here he is. Do you still want

47:20

this? I like it better than getting

47:22

stabbed in the foot. I hate this place. All right

47:24

well we're we'll

47:29

figure it out you know smash through here.

47:33

Okay so we're talking about other entrances. Yeah

47:36

we got to go around or find a way to

47:38

bust into the walls behind this if just the doors

47:40

metal. Okay so the

47:44

Heaton if they were formerly

47:47

the Galen the Galens

47:49

or the one Lord Galen or Lady Galen or

47:51

whatever this is their house or maybe the Heaton

47:53

liked this house and just decided to move in.

47:56

We don't know that yet but if the basement

47:58

existed already Then

48:00

maybe in the kitchen there's like a dumbwaiter down to

48:02

the basement. That's totally possible. Is there a

48:04

shitter? Did you find a shitter? There's a bathroom upstairs.

48:06

I didn't see any bathrooms on the ground floor Well

48:09

theoretically if it's get blockage, they gotta have Jimbo

48:11

crawl up from down below So it's got a pretty wide

48:13

tube right? Yeah there's gotta be like a grate or something

48:15

at the bottom right at least Okay,

48:18

are there zombies upstairs? There are

48:20

two corpses They were

48:23

not zombies one last time I saw them. They were in the master

48:25

bedroom Alright, so maybe we check

48:27

the toilets. You if there's like a big hole otherwise

48:29

we go to the kitchen for a dumbwaiter Okay, sounds

48:31

good. Okay, just a second. It

48:34

just stents body slams hallway

48:36

walls up top Yeah,

48:41

so nothing happens upstairs The

48:44

body hits the ground. That's fine. You make way up the

48:46

stairs To landing where

48:48

Quinnie was as we described. There's

48:50

the bedroom To your

48:52

right there is another door leading into a room

48:54

to your left That's a jar and at the

48:56

far left hand side of the landing is a

48:58

bathroom I'll say that's the bedroom I came from

49:01

with the chimney fireplace. I don't know what's in

49:03

that room. There's the bathroom Well, let's make sure

49:05

it's safe. Huh and just a corpse goes through

49:07

the door there the jar You

49:09

see what would seem to be guest

49:12

rooms? So there are

49:14

a number of sort

49:16

of guest beds and other things this

49:18

place Does not look

49:20

tossed the way the bedroom look tossed. It

49:23

is almost pristine I'm

49:26

just peeking through the doorway like oh this place is

49:28

like untouched compared to the master bedroom

49:31

Oh interesting bottle goes back and picks up the corpse. All

49:34

right Well for the

49:36

authorities get here. We got diplomatic community if we solve

49:38

this. We have five minutes to lose the place

49:40

quitting All right, say

49:42

less. Yeah. All right to the

49:44

pooper slams

49:49

in a Bounces

49:52

off off the toilet. Yeah,

49:54

it's a small bathroom. The toilet pipe is

49:56

small like you can't shimmy

49:58

down me Uh, Jimmy

50:00

gets to the clogs in the sewer. He

50:02

doesn't come, come up and through. Uh,

50:05

but, uh, yep, there, there is a bathroom here.

50:07

Uh, you imagine there is one downstairs as well,

50:09

because having one bathroom only upstairs is not

50:12

a fancy rich person thing to do at all.

50:14

What is this? A toilet for babies? Pointing.

50:17

All right. Let's go downstairs. I guess. All

50:19

right. Come on, Stan. Uh,

50:22

he picks up a body of pizza's fall

50:24

off before you, uh, before you leave a,

50:26

uh, a bloody rat, uh, climbs out of

50:29

the, uh, the toilet and

50:31

just kind of looks up

50:34

at, at all of you

50:36

and just goes, uh, beast speech.

50:39

It's Jimbo. Are you Mr.

50:41

Bitey or Bitey? Yeah. Yeah. What got Jimbo.

50:44

They got him. The knives they're down in

50:46

the sewers. They're patrolling. They got Jimbo switching

50:48

back to common. The night knives are in

50:50

the sewers and they got Jimbo. Like,

50:53

and then back to rat, um, got him

50:55

how? Like captured, killed. He was fighting them

50:57

off, but what if his three skills is

51:00

not combat? Where he said me,

51:02

he said, go, go find my friends. So I

51:04

came and found you. Oh man. Uh,

51:07

uh, do you know your way around these

51:09

pipes? You

51:13

came up to the toilet. You know your way around the pipes.

51:15

We are just hearing Quinnie squeak like a rat, right? I just

51:17

want to be clear what I'm saying. Okay. Yeah. Yeah.

51:21

We got to find a way to get down to the basement or is there

51:23

a way for us to get down and help Jimmy?

51:26

Okay. Jimbo. We have

51:28

to go to the sewers. There might be a

51:30

great downstairs. Uh, I did. There's

51:33

a toilet downstairs. I've been through a few times

51:35

and sometimes I would get snacks. Um,

51:37

from, from the, the, the kitchen. Uh, yeah,

51:40

there's, is there a way from

51:42

this house into the sewer for people shaped in

51:44

size like us to get there to help? No,

51:46

not into the sewer from here. You have to

51:48

go back outside. Back to common.

51:50

Uh, there's no way to get down to Jimbo and

51:53

the sewer from here. We have to go outside to

51:55

the sewers. I, I

51:57

don't know what we can do. Okay. Can you can

51:59

the rat get a. to Heaton. Back

52:02

to the rat. Can you get us into the basement? Do

52:04

you know where we're going? Yeah, there's,

52:06

in the kitchen there's small,

52:08

you can fit, you

52:10

tune. He looks to the two of

52:12

you like you can understand. Yeah. The two of

52:14

you don't talk, I don't think they can fit, but

52:16

you might be able to fit down a food

52:19

carrier thing. But then also my

52:21

buddy Ted the rat, rats

52:24

talk a lot. Sure, yeah. Just like what people use

52:26

it for in criminal parlors. He

52:29

said something about the place with the books. He

52:31

said one of the shows don't sit right. Back

52:34

to common, there is a dumb waiter. It is a way

52:36

to get down. Only I would fit. Something going on with

52:38

the library though where the books don't fit right might be

52:40

a secret passage. Okay.

52:44

Thank the rat. We'll go try the,

52:46

do you want to do the, we'll figure out dumb waiter

52:48

library. We got to deal with this because zombies are blowing

52:50

up in the distance so we're hearing screams and then we

52:52

go rescue Jimbo. Okay. Does that feel like an AB? That

52:54

feels like a necessary AB. All right. I feel like, and

52:57

just like to you, like I feel like Jimbo really

52:59

just, and Mr. Beidie.

53:01

Yeah. I feel like Jimbo, I gave him several months

53:03

ago. I feel like Jimbo and Mr. Beidie really just

53:05

now came through for us. I would like to do.

53:07

Oh no, I agree. I'm just saying, I don't think

53:10

we could afford to abandon. I agree with you. The

53:12

Heaton to go deal with that. And so back to

53:14

rat, I will say, Mr. Beidie, do you want to,

53:16

thank you. Do you want to stay with us or do you want to

53:18

go see about how Jimbo is doing? We

53:21

have to deal with the one who's causing all the

53:23

zombies to explode first before we can help Jimbo. But

53:25

these two, and I point to the pallets, the ones

53:27

that don't talk very much, they're very, very good at

53:29

fixing up people who are hurt. Okay. I'll find you

53:31

a quick route down there. I'll see if I can find

53:33

something that all of you would fit down. Okay. So

53:36

when you're done dealing with your stuff, you can come help

53:39

my buddy. Perfect. Thank you. Okay. You

53:41

come looking for me, I can talk to you. Okay. And

53:43

this one, and I'll point to Gartak,

53:45

who I believe can also speak with animals. I

53:47

mean, did you say that in rat or did you say that?

53:50

I say it in rat. If you're, if you've castied

53:52

with animals or not. I have not. Yeah. Okay. So

53:54

then, and this one I think can get a talk

53:56

to you. Okay. Well, just, just hurry. I love

53:58

him. done with Seward. All

54:02

right. Let's go.

54:04

Okay, we can go to the library. Do you want

54:07

to do the kitchen thing? Let's check

54:09

out the library together. You know, three sets of eyes

54:11

instead of two, and then yeah, I can take the

54:13

kitchen if that's not working out. Not just three sets

54:15

of eyes, he says, picking up stem. Oh, I don't

54:18

know if he's still got them. Checks.

54:21

Want me perception. Luckily

54:24

you don't need eyes to spread a

54:26

trap. That one. Oh, you're never ahead. Oh,

54:31

his legs came off. I'm just holding the torso. All right, this

54:33

is kind of gross. Let's do this. And

54:36

with that, you make your way to

54:38

the library. This episode of Dum Dums

54:40

and Dragons features the voices of Ryan

54:42

LaPlante at the Ryan LaPlante on Twitter.

54:45

Tyler Hewitt at Tyler underscore Hewitt on

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Twitter. Laura Hamstra at EL Hamspring on

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Twitter. And RTM Tom McGee at McGeeGDA

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Twitter. This episode's sound was edited and

54:53

mixed by Laura Hamstra. And Dum Dums

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and Dragons artwork is by Del Borrelat who

54:57

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57:01

Thanks to them, and a little bit of

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fiction producers flourish. After

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all this time... What

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time is it again? I feel like the clock stopped. Time

57:20

with a tennis ball we could bat

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Time to just sink to the bottom.

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Time to get to the meat of this meat.

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Time for Greater Boston Season 4. That's

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right, on September 13th, Greater Boston returns,

57:33

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57:35

Tuesday. And we're so excited for you

57:37

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