0:01

What's up, Ear Hustlers? This

0:03

is Rahsaan New York-Thomas, a producer

0:05

on Ear Hustle. And this is Amy Standen.

0:07

I edit the show. And New York, we're giving

0:10

Nigel and Erla on a little break today. That's

0:12

one way to look at it. Maybe we're giving the listeners

0:14

a break from Nigel and Erla. Right,

0:17

exactly. Well, New York, we are

0:19

here to tell listeners about the annual

0:21

Ear Hustle fundraiser that's underway.

0:23

Yeah, listener support is super

0:25

important to what we do. I mean, it's helping us tell

0:28

stories from prisons that are outside of San

0:30

Quentin.

0:30

Yeah, I mean, we're getting to hear more and more

0:32

from incarcerated women, for example.

0:34

Finally. And listener support has

0:37

also helped me in my transition. As

0:39

you know, getting out of prison and coming to work

0:41

with you all as a producer on Ear Hustle,

0:43

the outside team.

0:44

It's been amazing

0:47

having you out here with us, New York. So,

0:49

listeners, if you're able to donate, every

0:51

single gift helps us get to our goal of

0:53

a thousand donors. And when you donate, really,

0:56

you pay it forward because we're able to offer

0:58

the show to listeners free of charge, which

1:00

is really important to all of us.

1:01

So please support us at EarHustleSQ.com

1:05

or by following the link in the episode notes. Thank

1:08

you.

1:11

Ear Hustle is brought to you by Progressive. Progressive

1:13

helps you compare direct auto rates from a variety

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of companies so you can find a great one, even

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rates not available in all states or situations.

1:32

This is Rahsaan New York Thomas, a producer with

1:34

Ear Hustle, and this episode contains language

1:37

that is PG. That means parental

1:39

guidance is advised because Nigel dropped

1:41

the F-bomb. Today

1:51

is March 3rd. Wow. Friday, March

1:53

3rd. It's 915. And

1:56

who's in the room right now? Reggie. Sadiq.

2:00

Tony. And why are we here, Tony? Sounds

2:02

like a deposition. Yeah. Oh,

2:04

what is that? At the

2:07

end. So you're all invited today

2:09

down to the Media Lab to participate

2:12

in a very special Ear Hustle project.

2:14

That is not for everybody. Nope. Okay.

2:17

We're gonna explain what it is, and we wanted to come with people

2:19

who are open-minded and creative and

2:22

who would want to participate in it.

2:24

I'm gonna

2:26

have to move it real close and talk about my

2:28

excitingness. Yes, it's very exciting.

2:31

Bring all your sarcasm because it's only gonna make

2:33

this tape statter. So,

2:36

uh, trash, huh? Trash.

2:39

Trash.

2:44

Roland, you know one of the things that I really love about you? My

2:50

Colgate white smile, my

2:52

chocolate skin tone. Okay, well, there's all those

2:54

things. But what I really treasure about

2:56

you is that you are almost always so positive

2:59

about everything and you say yes right away and you're

3:01

enthusiastic. And so when

3:03

you're not

3:04

quite like that, I'm confused.

3:07

You're confused, you get worried. I get worried. I'm

3:09

like, what happened to the Erland I know? So I

3:12

have to say, when we started talking about this, there

3:14

was that kind of edge of maybe sarcasm

3:17

and suspicion in your voice that I'm just not accustomed

3:20

to.

3:20

Hmm. Maybe it was, maybe

3:22

it was I was really in deep thought about what

3:25

I would produce. Oh,

3:28

maybe it's some shame or consternation

3:30

around it. Probably a little bit of all that. So,

3:32

um, can you tell listeners what we're talking about, please? Yep. At

3:35

the beginning of March, the Ear Hustle

3:37

team all gathered. Inside team

3:39

in the Media Lab at San Quentin and the

3:41

outside team at our studio at KQED

3:44

to talk about a new project.

3:47

Yes, a new challenge that I

3:49

was, of course, very excited about. So

3:52

everybody should have the instructions in front of

3:54

them. I'm going to ask New York to read the first paragraph.

3:57

Outside of prison, the average American produces.

4:00

is 1,609 pounds of garbage a year, almost 4.5

4:04

pounds a day. Every

4:07

day, we leave behind evidence of our existence

4:10

as seen through our waste. What does that

4:12

say about what we need versus what we

4:14

want? What can you learn about yourself,

4:16

your interests, struggles, intentions,

4:19

successes, and failures by looking at the things

4:21

you discard?

4:22

And the basic idea of it was that

4:24

everyone on the team was going to save their

4:26

trash, and I mean all of their

4:29

trash for seven days. And

4:31

then at the end of the week, we

4:34

were all going to bring the trash into work

4:36

and dig through it. You

4:39

know, kind of like an archaeological dig,

4:42

basically to see what our trash

4:44

says about us.

4:46

Yes, for seven

4:48

days. Oh, I'm sorry, I can see

4:51

his jaw going. So as that macro

4:53

pouch gets open and you got

4:55

to rinse it out, yeah, that's huge. Oh,

4:59

man.

5:02

Erlon, can you tell people about those pouches, please?

5:05

Yes, I can. Well, in San

5:07

Quentin, you can't have metal. So

5:10

any food that you order from a catalog, it comes

5:12

in the MyLaur pouch. And macro

5:14

is popular because it's cheap.

5:16

Oh, that's why? That's why. It's

5:19

like maybe a dollar. Okay. Everything

5:21

else, oysters be like two, three dollars, you know, so.

5:24

Okay, so it's cheap. And

5:26

if you don't clean those pouches out. Yeah,

5:29

you're going to smell them and it's going to be foul.

5:32

So with that said, why are

5:34

we doing this

5:34

again now? Okay, okay, fair enough. But

5:37

the reason to do it is because

5:39

trash is this great way to sort of examine

5:42

who we are. You know, by what you throw

5:44

out, if you look through your garbage, there's ways of identifying

5:47

how you think and what you care about

5:50

and what disappointments you might

5:52

have in your life and your wants versus your needs.

5:54

It's like this treasure trove of self.

5:57

Here's our colleague, Rasan New York Thomas again.

6:00

reading those instructions.

6:02

What can you learn about yourself, your interests,

6:04

struggles, intentions, successes, and

6:07

failures by looking at the things you discard?

6:10

This will also be a comparison between

6:12

trash produced by those inside prison

6:15

and those outside. So

6:17

here's who was on our team inside San

6:19

Quentin. Reggie, who folks might remember

6:22

from previous episodes, talking about

6:24

what it was like to eat an orange after

6:27

like a couple of decades. Mm-hmm. And

6:30

there was also Sadiq, who's kind of new to the

6:32

Media Lab, very cool laid-back dude,

6:35

and Ear Hustlers, Rashid and

6:37

Tony.

6:38

And these cats were immediately

6:40

worried about logistics, how

6:42

they'd pull it off.

6:44

Remember, you have to save everything,

6:47

so you're gonna want to carry a collection bag with

6:49

you. Now you're just gonna get us beat

6:51

up. You're gonna get

6:53

us stopped by the CO. The cops are gonna be like, what

6:55

is in that bag? I'm just the cops and

6:57

the people, too. I just think I'm gonna have to store

7:00

my trash down here. I

7:03

just have to double bag it. That's what I'm gonna

7:05

do, double bag it. When you go to the chow hall

7:08

and the remnants that's left from your tray,

7:11

you gotta put that in the bag. So

7:13

the guys inside decided they were gonna bring their

7:15

trash down to the Media Lab every

7:17

day. Just so they didn't have to keep

7:19

it in their sales, which are hella

7:21

small. I'm trying to imagine

7:24

if somebody does have a cellmate, how

7:26

are they gonna explain to them, hey,

7:28

I'm collecting garbage. I could

7:31

see that being a compatibility issue. Yeah, it'd

7:33

be a problem.

7:33

I'm just so curious that you all think you're gonna

7:36

have that much garbage. I thought you guys would

7:38

have a tiny amount of garbage. I assume

7:40

one thing that we're gonna discover is

7:42

that inside a lot of the garbage is food-based

7:45

and outside a lot of it's not.

7:46

I bet we make much

7:48

more waste outside than inside. I

7:52

don't think so. We do. The

7:54

only reason I think we're gonna have more because everything we get

7:56

is packaged. We don't get to buy fresh

7:59

anything.

7:59

So if we get you know, Erlon the

8:02

guys inside st. Quentin were so

8:04

curious about this project They were so

8:06

positive and it

8:08

I don't it really touched my heart. I have to say

8:10

it actually made me a little bit teary I was like they

8:13

get it They get it You

8:16

know not I see value in fashion. Well,

8:19

I hate to burst your bubble Nigel Oh,

8:21

but when you're offering people in prison

8:23

something to do

8:24

people jump in like let's do it Yep,

8:27

their minds and hearts are open to change So

8:32

after all the grumbling among some

8:34

of the members on the outside team everybody

8:36

agreed to sign on My

8:38

name is Rossani. Oh Thomas. I'm gonna store

8:40

my trash for seven days. Yes My

8:43

name is Bruce Baltimore Wallace and

8:45

I am gonna store my trash

8:48

for seven days And

8:54

My name is Rashi Zinnerman sound designer

8:57

for ear hustle Davis everybody

8:59

call me so deep and I'm definitely in

9:01

my name is Tony Tafoya and I am in

9:03

my name is Reginald Thorpe Everybody

9:06

call me Reggie and listeners out

9:08

there. I encourage you to Participate

9:11

in this challenge too. I think you would get something

9:15

I'm looking forward to this. This is

9:17

gonna be very interesting This is

9:19

probably gonna be one of the most interesting projects

9:22

I did since I've been incarcerated probably

9:24

in my life Just collecting garbage.

9:26

I never thought about what's crazy is

9:29

every time we do projects that

9:31

we collaborate with people on the outside It

9:33

makes me feel like we're a part

9:35

of outside, you know what I mean? And so

9:38

that's what I look forward to most just that connection

9:43

My name is Nigel poor and I'm gonna store

9:45

my trash for the next seven days My

9:47

name is Walter woods and I'm

9:49

gonna store my What

9:52

a next This

9:55

is ear hustle from PRX's radio

9:57

topia

10:09

Today is Tuesday, March 7th and it's the

10:11

first day of collecting trash. Today

10:13

is March 7th, day

10:16

one of the trash challenge. My

10:18

name is Rasheed. Today is Tuesday, March

10:21

7th, the first day of collecting my trash

10:24

and I'm pretty excited. I

10:29

threw out my first piece of

10:31

trash by mistake. It was

10:34

a humble tissue but I

10:36

pulled it out of the garbage and

10:38

put it into my collection bag and

10:41

I'm thinking about all of the trash

10:43

adventures

10:45

that are waiting for us all

10:47

in these next seven days. Yay! Ear

10:50

Hustle Trash. Ear Hustle Trash

10:52

Adventure. It begins.

10:56

All right, Erlon,

10:59

do you want to know what I observed on

11:01

the first day of trash collecting? Yeah, what

11:03

did you observe? No, I

11:05

don't. Excitement in the air. All

11:08

of a sudden people that maybe were a little cynical

11:11

were like talking about what was in their trash.

11:14

There was like a little glint in people's eyes

11:16

and

11:17

I was so happy. What

11:19

do you think New York? Do you think people are actually kind of laughing

11:22

and having a good time with this trash thing?

11:23

I think this whole trash thing is hilarious and

11:26

so I'm trash talking about it. Explain

11:29

this new beverage that you created today. Well,

11:32

I was making a cup of tea and I couldn't

11:34

find the water and so I mistook the

11:37

coffee kettle with a water pot and

11:39

I ended up putting coffee into my tea

11:42

and I didn't want to waste it and it counts towards

11:44

my garbage anyway and so I tried this

11:46

new concoction and it tastes

11:48

halfway decent and I feel really energized

11:50

right now.

11:51

I have to say there's a little bit of madness, a little

11:53

bit of madness in your eyes right now.

11:57

I might have had a bit too much caffeine.

12:00

While New York was making this new concoction, he

12:02

instinctively grabbed some of those little plastic

12:05

creamer containers.

12:06

I just

12:09

went to put a little creamer out on the side by the shade.

12:11

Oh no, no, don't go for those. Wait, where did you save

12:13

all those containers? Yeah,

12:16

uh oh. Dun, dun, dun. So we see

12:18

you right now, you just told on yourself, bruh. You

12:21

let you talk for a little bit and you tell on yourself

12:23

that you throwing trash in the trash. All

12:27

those little containers, huh? I gotta get into the

12:29

habit now of saving all my trash because

12:31

that was an oversight, but I even thinking about it just instinctively.

12:34

I threw the little container away. It's easy to do

12:36

that. Not our last to go back and get it for me. You

12:39

got a little rubber gloves. No, no, no, no, no, no.

12:41

You should have threw them in a rubber glove. You

12:44

should

12:44

have threw them in a rubber glove. Back to

12:46

work, perhaps. Remembering

12:52

to keep your trash was hard. Yes. It

12:54

was really an effort. You had to have it back with

12:56

you all the time. All the time. And

12:58

even guys on the inside, you know, they was having difficulties.

13:01

It is now 1.55 PM. And

13:06

I would say my day started fairly

13:08

normal, except I forgot

13:11

to save

13:13

my oatmeal wrapper. So I had to go into the trash

13:15

and put it into my little personal trash bag.

13:18

So that was kind of disgusting,

13:20

but I did it. Today is Wednesday,

13:23

March 8th, and it is the second

13:25

day of the trash collection. This

13:28

is Tony again. He's one of our producers

13:30

inside San Quentin. This morning

13:32

I ate a banana and completely forgot

13:35

that I had to save the trash and threw the peel away

13:37

without even thinking about it. It's kind of

13:39

fun. It's kind of silly at the same time

13:41

that I have to walk around with my trash early in the

13:43

morning.

13:44

And here's Sadiq, also inside

13:47

San Quentin. And it's like, oh,

13:49

I can't forget my baby. Like, forget my baby

13:51

or forget my car keys or something. I got to remember to take

13:53

my trash with me to work. It's kind of

13:56

silly, but I like it.

13:58

And Amy, who's our editor for Ear Hunt. Of

14:00

course, you have those talents of

14:03

making things flow nicely. And

14:06

so you were busy finding some technicalities

14:09

to help you reduce your trash load.

14:11

Definitely. So what I realized I'm doing

14:13

is I will have my eye on some mess

14:16

in the kitchen and ordinarily I would just, you know,

14:18

throw it in the garbage. But instead I'll

14:20

just sort of stare at it like for a couple hours

14:23

or even for a couple days and just

14:25

hope that someone else in my house will pick

14:27

it up and throw it out because I don't want to carry it

14:29

around. It

14:30

does get a little fuzzy

14:33

like Nancy and I, most of our trash is

14:35

pretty shared. So what is hers? What

14:37

is mine? My theory is that maybe like

14:39

if I make dinner, she normally cleans up. So maybe

14:41

I'll just make dinner and she'll be the one throwing it away

14:44

so I don't have to hold on to it.

14:48

Are you keeping this a secret or telling

14:50

people about it? Well, I can't keep it a secret

14:52

because when I leave out myself, people see

14:55

the bag in my hand

14:57

and they ask me like, man, what is

14:59

that? That look like trash. I was

15:01

like, yeah, it is. I'm participating

15:04

in a trash collecting challenge to

15:06

see how much trash I accumulate each

15:09

day. And

15:11

then it's like me walking around with trash. You got

15:13

banana peels. Yeah, that's

15:15

that's what it is. That's what we do. You

15:18

should try one day just to see how

15:20

much trash you accumulate.

15:25

I am not keeping it a secret. I

15:27

felt like my security blanket

15:29

was to inform everybody around

15:31

me. Hey, if you see me collecting trash, I'm in

15:34

the Ear Hustle Trash Challenge.

15:36

So don't be alarmed. We'll

15:38

see. But day one,

15:41

so far, so good.

15:42

So

15:44

my sheet out.

15:48

Today is Wednesday, March 8th.

15:51

And it's day number two of collecting trash.

15:54

I cannot believe all the paper towels I use, especially

15:57

when I'm at work. It's kind of crazy

15:59

and it's partially. because I clean up

16:00

after other people, the

16:03

kitchen counter. That's

16:05

funny, and then every time I wash my cup, I

16:08

dry it with a paper towel. So I found myself washing

16:11

my cup, then going

16:13

into the bathroom and using the air dryer in there

16:15

to dry

16:15

things. So I use less paper towels. Nigel,

16:18

you go in the bathroom and dry things with the air

16:20

thing? I didn't want somebody

16:22

to paper towel in my trap bag.

16:25

It's Bruce. Today

16:31

is Thursday, the third day of the challenge. And one thing

16:33

I'm noticing is that I always meant to be good about

16:36

using the hand dryer instead of the paper towels in the bathroom at

16:38

work, but now when I'm faced

16:41

with the prospect of

16:44

adding a few more things to my trash bag, I'm

16:47

really becoming

16:49

devoted to the work that I'm doing. This

16:52

is my trash bag. I'm

16:54

really becoming devoted to the air

16:56

dryer, which

16:59

I previously stayed away from because frankly some of

17:01

them feel like they just blow old dirty water

17:03

back in your face, but at least it's not a paper

17:05

towel.

17:12

It's so interesting that people have

17:14

a different tolerance for grossness, like what

17:17

someone finds gross, other people could care less

17:19

about.

17:20

People find those pictures of hair coming out of

17:22

sinks gross, not you. Glad

17:24

that wasn't in your trash. You know my hobby

17:26

is pulling hair out of drains. Who

17:29

pulls hair out of the drain right after the shower? Right

17:33

after the shower? Oh my God, so much hair comes out. Serious.

17:37

Like I probably pull a clump of hair. I

17:39

don't know how I have any hair left. I

17:41

mean I just let it like towel up until Jeff

17:43

gets really mad that the shower is clogged up

17:46

and then he pulls it

17:46

out. This

17:50

is Shabnam, our managing producer. She

17:52

was working from home that day. Jeff, you heard

17:54

that right? See,

17:56

we're already learning that. I

17:58

clean up after myself immediately. and

18:00

shove none leaves in for her husband to clean

18:03

up. It comes out of my hand, and

18:06

then I put it on the wall as the shower.

18:08

Me too!

18:08

I mean, the shower

18:10

does. It's a nice sculpture sometimes.

18:14

So, after a few days, everybody

18:17

was walking around with these bags, talking

18:20

about them, and they had all this gross

18:22

whatever in it. Dead skin

18:24

cells, whatever.

18:25

Hair, nail clippings, and

18:27

flossers. Teeth floss. What's

18:30

wrong with teeth flossers? Oh, sorry, I

18:32

love you, Erlon, but I don't like to see

18:34

people flossing their teeth. No? No.

18:37

I don't see that

18:39

as gross as pulling hair out of a drain.

18:42

Exactly. Well, this is exactly what we're talking about. What

18:44

is gross for one person is totally

18:46

fine for another. And let me just say this.

18:49

I hate seeing people floss teeth

18:51

in public, but in private, of

18:53

course. That's when you do it. Is it gross that

18:55

I reuse my flossers more than once? I

18:57

use them more than once, too. Me, too.

19:00

That's not right? Expensive. They're all just,

19:02

it's wasteful plastic. I know, I use them. I just

19:04

throw it away.

19:05

No, not me. We're all so

19:07

thrifty.

19:09

Erlon, this was like, to me, a sign

19:11

that this project was gonna be awesome. It was like

19:13

a real bonding experience. That

19:15

three out of five of us reuse our floss.

19:18

I feel like everything about this episode has proven my

19:20

point. Trash is fascinating.

19:24

I, of course, am organizing everything. I've

19:27

made three bags, and one

19:29

bag is for trash, one is for compost,

19:31

and one is just for coffee grinds. And

19:34

at first, I was

19:36

gonna put stuff together, and then I realized, no, they need

19:38

to have separate bags. I put them in separate bags, and

19:40

I wrote with Sharpie on the bag, and then I realized, no,

19:42

I need to get a piece of tape

19:45

so I can write carefully the day

19:47

and what's on it. So I have day

19:49

number one, March 7th compost,

19:52

day number one, March 7th trash, day

19:54

number one, March 7th coffee. So

19:58

I had to waste.

19:59

Potentially weighs bags so

20:02

I could make it look better. This is the sound

20:04

of my bags. Anyway

20:10

I'm loving this project and I cannot

20:12

wait to go into San Quentin tomorrow and

20:15

hear what

20:17

the guys inside are thinking.

20:20

Three days in, mid-week check-in

20:23

with two of the guys inside, Tony

20:25

and Sade. Yes. We

20:27

went into the Media Lab and of course they

20:29

had everything laid

20:31

out for us. So we had two tables and

20:34

on it were discrete piles of people's

20:36

trash. Well the bags and

20:38

then they were slowly pulling out.

20:40

What was what? Their delightful

20:42

garbage. I have a

20:45

Q-tip that I used. Who

20:48

doesn't want to talk about? You

20:50

know Q-tips are private. I

20:54

have a letter that I got returned

20:56

to sender. When I first came back I must have had the wrong

20:58

address. I know it was just

21:00

a waste. It's

21:02

alright. I try again

21:05

and I have some hair in here that

21:08

I had shaved from somewhere

21:10

around here. It's one of these tissue balls.

21:12

Oh here it goes right here. A lot of hair.

21:14

Oh nice. Oh look at all the hair in

21:16

there. Yeah I kept it. Cool.

21:19

And some more ripped up envelopes and

21:21

letters in the inmate receipt.

21:24

So this is the receipt that you get when somebody

21:26

sends you money on your books

21:28

and I always rip them up. I always throw them away.

21:30

I don't ever keep them. I used to keep them a while ago. Why

21:33

did you change that? I've been down so long

21:36

so now I have so much stuff accumulated over time.

21:38

I just started ripping it up. Getting

21:40

rid of it. Well I have to say what I noticed when you were going through it

21:42

is you handled it so gently with so much

21:44

respect. I didn't even realize

21:46

that. Sadiq

21:48

had a green pepper stem and some meat

21:50

packages and that's how I learned

21:52

that he was the main chef down in the media lab.

21:55

So I cooked. I cooked for everybody back here.

21:59

So some of that stuff. Oh, wow. Yeah,

22:01

I love cooking. It's my passion, so I'm

22:04

always cooking something. Even

22:06

if I don't want to cook, I still end up cooking.

22:11

What did you make for everyone?

22:13

So I made burritos. I

22:16

made burritos for everybody. Where did this cooking thing

22:18

come from? Watching

22:21

my mom and my stepdad and my auntie, they always

22:24

used to cook, and I just love cooking. I

22:26

watch all the cooking shows like right now. Tonight,

22:29

next level chef come on, so I can't wait to go watch that.

22:32

And this was a Miss You letter, a

22:34

Love You letter. I sent to the mother

22:37

of my child to show her how much, show

22:39

my gratitude towards her. She take care

22:41

of my daughter. She comes up here to visit.

22:44

I'm just appreciative of everything she do. I'm

22:48

grateful. I'm thankful that I

22:50

have people that can help me with things. Because

22:54

it is a struggle sometimes the way they feed you here.

22:57

It's not really plentiful and fulfilling,

22:59

so I am thankful for that.

23:05

People trash inside, just like out here,

23:07

it reveals what kind of support

23:10

they have on the outside.

23:11

Erlyn, I love it. You are finding

23:14

the deeper meaning in the trash now. So

23:16

what does it reveal? So you might see some

23:18

that have, let's say,

23:20

state graham crackers in there. State

23:23

graham crackers, state this, state that. That

23:25

means that they probably don't have support in

23:27

society. You know, that's sending stuff in,

23:29

but then you might see snickers,

23:33

certain candies that they don't have on the inside. You

23:35

can only get through packages. So

23:37

you can really tell, you know, through

23:40

the trash, how people

23:42

are maintaining inside. And

23:45

I think trash sometimes also reveals something

23:47

essential about who a person actually

23:50

is. What I saw

23:52

in it was that you're a caregiver because

23:54

you said you like to cook for people. And

23:57

there was a lot of evidence of that because there were so many pouches.

24:01

So you must think about other people's

24:03

needs, not just your own. And then

24:05

you explained what that card was, and that was

24:07

also about gratitude, about

24:09

having gratitude for

24:10

somebody who's helping you out. So

24:14

that's what I saw. I saw gratitude in someone who

24:16

likes to be a caregiver. Thank

24:18

you.

24:22

I noticed this funny like bunch of balled

24:24

up tape inside of Tony's trash.

24:27

Like ball it with me. They all

24:29

squished together. I play

24:32

with tape all day long.

24:35

I have since I was a child. I think it's like

24:38

a calming mechanism. I'm

24:41

not sure, but you'll see a lot of tape.

24:44

What do you do with it? I just tack it until

24:46

it doesn't feel right anymore, then I just throw it away.

24:49

It's like a weird calming

24:52

sensation. Self-soothing tool. Yeah,

24:54

and every single time I see a tape dispenser,

24:56

no matter where I'm at, I always take someone's tape, and they're

24:58

always confused.

25:00

So Bruce, this story reminds me of something

25:02

that you do that we learned about

25:04

during the challenge. Right, right.

25:08

You must be talking about the very specific situations

25:11

when I chew gum. Yes. Which is not like

25:13

a thing I do in my normal life, but I do whenever

25:15

I'm confronted with anything vaguely

25:18

medical involving me. Like if it's

25:20

somebody else, I'm fine, but if it's like just

25:23

a regular checkup with a doctor, I

25:25

need to chew gum to quell some anxiety.

25:27

Actually, I can see as you're talking, you're kidding.

25:31

Do you remember the first time that you

25:33

put gum and anxiety with medical

25:35

things together? Yeah,

25:37

well, I think there are two things. The first one, and maybe

25:39

the more acute one, is needles, the

25:41

fear of needles, which I didn't actually always have.

25:44

I developed kind of like late teens, early 20s, and

25:47

I think what did that was this moment. I was

25:49

like, I was involved in the environmental

25:51

club at school and high school, and

25:54

I was going through a bunch of recycling

25:57

to sort it with a faculty advisor for

25:59

that.

25:59

And he found a needle, and I guess being

26:02

a responsible adult, he wanted to take care of it.

26:05

And so he tried to

26:07

break the tip of the syringe

26:09

off, and the needle ended up going into his finger.

26:12

This was the early 90s. So

26:14

of course, we immediately thought, oh, well, you've just contracted

26:17

HIV, or who knows what you got? I feel

26:19

like that.

26:20

That's definitely the start of my fear of needles.

26:23

And it made needles feel a lot more potent and

26:25

dangerous than they had before. Also,

26:27

around the same time, in

26:29

high school, my dad was diagnosed

26:34

with cancer. In high

26:36

school, you feel it's

26:38

hard to picture anything kind

26:40

of that cataclysmic if you

26:42

haven't been through it before. So

26:45

I think when I heard that, I was like,

26:48

OK, that's bad, but he'll be fine.

26:50

Everybody's saying, he's going to be fine. He's going

26:52

to be fine. And then I spent a lot of

26:55

high school and hospitals. And

26:57

so now I feel like

26:59

any sort of medical setting sets

27:02

me on edge. And he

27:04

did die when I was 20,

27:06

so a few years later. So now I feel

27:09

like even if you think you're in

27:11

a medical condition and you're fine, a medical situation,

27:13

a medical setting, could

27:15

very well be

27:18

in badly. Yeah. I

27:20

mean, I can see how you would tie those two things together,

27:22

seeing the teacher do something

27:24

with the needle and then your dad. I

27:27

tend to spiral a little bit very quickly. I'm

27:29

like, oh my god, it's cancer. So

27:30

you assume the worst in

27:33

any medical situation? Yeah. And

27:35

then the gum comes in as a relaxant?

27:39

I think the chewing distracts me,

27:41

and the sugar somehow

27:44

helps a little bit. Yeah,

27:46

I don't know. I've always thought gum has helped me feel

27:48

a little more confident.

27:50

And you know what? Bruce

27:53

is going to be chewing a lot of gum

27:55

by the end of this episode. That's for

27:57

sure. We're going to take a quick break.

27:59

We'll be right back.

28:02

E, you know

28:11

what's on

28:13

my mind these days? How we gonna get all these

28:15

stories done this season? Oof, yes,

28:17

that is true. But I'm also daydreaming

28:20

about summer because it's only a few months away

28:22

and that season just brings a whole new vibe.

28:24

I hear you, Nige. And the best thing about summer is

28:26

getting to do all your favorite indoor things

28:29

outside. Like what? Like sharing meals,

28:31

watching movies, falling asleep on the sofa accidentally.

28:34

You know, everything's

28:35

better al fresco. So if you're

28:37

dreaming of getting your spot summer ready, may

28:39

we suggest Article? Article's

28:41

flexible range of styles means that you can do

28:43

more with the space you've got. Yep, and

28:46

right now I am gazing at my beautiful Article

28:48

Tana stool that's home to a huge

28:50

stack of books I plan to read this summer. I can

28:52

see it, Nige. You posted in your reading

28:54

chair hitting that stack of books? Well,

28:57

if you're dreaming about getting your home summer ready, think

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29:25

Hey, what are we going to do this summer? Are we

29:27

going on a trip? Yeah, I think it's time to go somewhere. Like where?

29:30

I know you

29:30

want to go to Jamaica.

29:42

Nigel, here's something that

29:44

we talk a lot about on our team. Good

29:47

talkers. Yes, a good talker is

29:49

someone who you just want to listen

29:51

to. It doesn't necessarily matter

29:54

what story they're telling you. They are so good at

29:56

it, you just want to hang on every

29:57

word. I think the podcast...

30:00

as the moth, kind of specialized

30:02

in those type of characters. You remember that one

30:04

episode, Bodily Autonomy?

30:06

I know, so we were in the car, driving together,

30:08

listening to it, and it was about women

30:10

having to make really tough decisions

30:13

about their bodies. Right. A

30:15

heavy topic, but the two storytellers

30:17

were intense, and funny,

30:20

and surprising. Right. And

30:22

so they just, they make you think about stuff that's not always

30:24

easy to think about.

30:25

Draw you in. Mm-hmm. And

30:27

hold on to you. Yes. The Moth

30:29

was one of the first podcasts to bring listeners

30:32

true stories from people all around the world,

30:34

helping to launch the modern storytelling movement.

30:37

And if you don't know The Moth, they have

30:39

been at it for 25 years, allowing

30:41

everyday people to tell their true stories,

30:44

usually on stage at live storytelling

30:47

events.

30:47

If you're not already listening to The Moth,

30:50

definitely check it out. Check it out for

30:52

sure. All right.

30:58

This

31:03

is Reggie coming back to y'all. It's

31:05

day five of the trash

31:07

collecting challenge. I've

31:10

never done this before, and

31:13

I'm actually shocked by how much

31:15

trash I've accumulated today. I

31:19

am embarrassed on

31:22

how much food I'm consuming. I thought that

31:25

I was eating quite healthy when I was starting

31:27

to realize that I'm not eating

31:29

as healthy as I should be for my age.

31:31

I'm 47 years old. I

31:34

eat too damn much, period.

31:37

I consume too much food, and

31:40

I'm starting to get fat. I'm out of shape.

31:42

I'm eating compulsively, too, rather

31:44

than just subsiding

31:47

my hunger.

31:48

Trash doesn't lie, Erlon. Some

31:50

hard truths come out, and it can actually

31:52

force us to confront aspects of ourselves

31:55

we might not be that comfortable with.

31:56

Well, I mean, trash doesn't

31:58

have to snitch on your knife. if you don't want it to. I

32:03

think I'm gonna have the least amount of trash.

32:05

I think you are. Because,

32:07

again, I believe in

32:10

the Earth. You know, I believe

32:12

that we should watch our footprint. You know

32:14

what I'm saying? And I think that, you know, I'm

32:16

glad that y'all doing this so y'all can

32:18

see the impact that y'all have

32:20

on the world. Did you know that Erline was an Earth

32:22

warrior? I'm an environmentalist.

32:25

I'm gonna call bullshit. What? I

32:28

think Erline is not having brothers because he doesn't want to carry his trash

32:30

around.

32:30

I think so too, but let's let him believe that he

32:32

is an Earth-first warrior.

32:42

Today is March 12th, 2023, and it's Oscar Sunday. Yay!

32:48

I'm so excited. I have so much stuff I'm gonna

32:50

eat today and you

32:52

should see the trash pile that's gonna be here tomorrow.

32:56

Oh, I can't wait for you guys to see it. This

32:59

is Tony. He's the tape soother. And

33:01

this is the biggest day of the year for him. Red

33:04

carpet. I've been doing this since I

33:06

was like a teenager. I have little Oscar parties,

33:08

but it's not like the big ones that you see on

33:11

TV where everyone like gets dressed up. It's

33:13

just myself.

33:13

So I love to visualize

33:16

this. I mean, the cells at San Quentin are so

33:18

small. So Tony's whole party

33:20

is just on his bunk. He's got his

33:22

little TV there at the foot of his mattress

33:25

and all his food is spread out on

33:27

his bunk like a buffet.

33:28

And he's been stockpiling treats

33:31

for weeks. And this year I'm gonna have

33:33

Oreos, which is a

33:35

whole, it's going to be the whole thing of Oreos. I

33:37

will eat the whole 60 cookies or whatever. I

33:40

will have a Milk Duds thing, a 10 ounce Milk

33:42

Duds. A

33:45

Dr. Pepper, which is the bottles,

33:48

like the ones you would buy at 7-Eleven. I've

33:51

got some of the Turkey Cholorio. And

33:54

so that's gonna be there. I'm probably gonna

33:56

do that

33:58

with rice.

33:58

vegetables. Starts

34:02

at 10am. Oh you're gonna watch

34:04

the whole thing. Yeah I watched the

34:06

whole even the local ABC 7 stuff all

34:08

the way until like 9 o'clock at night.

34:09

And it's on regular TV it's not on... Yeah

34:12

it's on ABC so it's on just over the air. You're

34:14

only inviting one person to this party? Me. I'm

34:17

not even inviting my cellmate.

34:26

It

34:34

is March 10th and

34:36

I am microwaving

34:40

my coffee grounds because

34:44

I don't have time to wait for them to

34:46

try.

34:57

So Amy you should probably explain why

34:59

you are microwaving your coffee grounds please.

35:02

Well because of course we're carrying our compost

35:05

around all week right and I had

35:08

seen on your desk like the day

35:10

before at work we

35:12

make coffee like for the whole office big

35:14

basket you know coffee filter at a time

35:16

and I had seen that you did this and you would put

35:18

it out on your desk and I couldn't figure out

35:21

why

35:21

you had done that and it took me a while

35:23

but I realized you were drying it out because

35:26

then it doesn't create this

35:28

like big wet soppy mess that you have to carry

35:30

around for a week. So I thought I know

35:32

I'll do it I'll put it in the microwave and

35:35

so that's why I was microwaving

35:37

my coffee filters and FYI

35:39

the microwaving did nothing.

35:46

March 11th day

35:48

five and this is Sadeek checking in. I

35:51

eat a lot of junk at times like I was going

35:53

a little spurt of eating a lot of snacks

35:56

and then I'll just stop then

35:58

I go back to eating regular food and I go back to snacks.

35:59

So this bag has

36:02

a lot of snacks in it. A

36:04

lot of bags. I ate three bags of

36:06

potato skins. Cheddar

36:09

and sour cream, TGI Fridays,

36:12

all in one sitting. Yesterday

36:14

I made myself something like special with

36:17

a chicken pouch and a top ramen. And... Okay,

36:21

so I'll just do the recipe. It's

36:23

a chicken top ramen. Some jalapeno

36:27

Snyder pretzels.

36:31

And... This is what's gonna

36:33

be gross is a... Mango

36:36

Kool-Aid. And

36:39

so I have all that inside my little trash bag right

36:41

now. And it's funny to look at that because it

36:44

makes me happy to know that that was... It

36:46

was a comfort food that I got from county.

36:49

Or you just make spreads out of whatever

36:52

you have. It makes me smile knowing

36:54

that I kinda got to... Go

36:57

back to my young days and my 20s.

36:59

Yeah. Early 20s. Ladies,

37:05

day six. This

37:08

stuff. Man,

37:10

I'm really doing the trash collection

37:13

cap challenge. It's going straight in the bag, bro.

37:16

It's real, it's full, un-consumed items

37:18

up in here. Bananas, whole bananas,

37:21

orange fields, seafood

37:25

pouches. Stuff that really

37:27

stinks. This is an Oscar

37:29

the Grouch bag.

37:36

I hadn't really thought about this with the project,

37:39

but what's clear is that the trash

37:41

reveals things about individuals, but it also

37:43

speaks to the institution that you're involved

37:46

with. When you're at a place like KQED,

37:49

it's really different. People's trash

37:51

is made up of the free snacks

37:54

that they have here and all the Laquas cans,

37:57

and people are very interested

37:59

in separating their trash.

37:59

trash so there's recycling and compost

38:02

and garbage, a very different kind

38:04

of institution than a prison. Yeah

38:07

there's no composting in prison. Oh

38:09

shocking. But what about

38:11

recycling? Now the

38:13

way it works is everyone just throws their

38:15

trash into these bins on each of the

38:17

tier and then later somebody

38:20

who's on the trash crew comes through

38:22

and pulls out the recyclables and then

38:24

I've heard some lucky

38:27

CO takes that big bag

38:29

home and cash it in. Looking

38:35

at my trash I'm

38:38

starting to learn about my environment

38:40

that a

38:42

prison does what's

38:44

easy. How

38:46

can it be done in an efficient manner

38:49

as far as passing food, distributing

38:51

food. I see a most of plastic

38:53

make things efficient and more

38:56

faster to do rather than just passing

38:59

out raw food items like

39:02

bread. Those packagings

39:05

make it more easier for them to distribute

39:07

food inside prisons.

39:10

And now I just think about myself and the stuff

39:12

that I'm accumulating. I could just imagine

39:15

this hundreds over thousands

39:17

of people in this institution and

39:19

they probably accumulating just

39:21

as much trash as I am.

39:29

It's day seven of the trash challenge

39:32

and I'm putting my last piece of trash.

39:34

I think my last piece of trash

39:36

into my collection.

39:39

It's a plastic

39:42

zip tie used to secure

39:45

a hair clip that I bought

39:49

from Target for Cora and put

39:51

in her Christmas stocking. Monday

39:57

March 13th. Seventh

40:01

day of collecting trash. I'm

40:04

happy, sad that it's over. Been

40:06

actually quite interesting because it really has

40:08

made me think about how

40:11

much I consume and what I'm responsible

40:13

for and what I need versus

40:16

what I want. And I found myself

40:18

even in just one week actually

40:21

using less because I didn't want to

40:23

have to deal

40:25

with the garbage that I produced. Happy

40:28

last day of collecting.

40:32

So we collected our garbage for seven whole

40:34

days. Then we had two reveals.

40:38

One inside of San Quentin and then

40:40

one at our outside studios in San Francisco.

40:42

Yes. So on the day of the big reveal,

40:45

we actually all gathered in the recording studio.

40:49

I know with our garbage. So

40:52

there was Bruce, Amy, Shabnam,

40:55

New York, you and me. Six people

40:58

with seven days worth of garbage bags. And

41:00

eventually we spread it all out on

41:03

the table here and dug in.

41:08

I'm Amy Standen. I am

41:10

the show's editor. And I have some trash

41:12

to show you. What were your first thoughts

41:14

when you heard about this project? What'd you think? I'm

41:18

a little obsessive about garbage. It's

41:20

an eccentricity.

41:22

Not when I'm super

41:24

proud of. So

41:26

I immediately knew it was going to plug

41:29

into some of my weirdnesses on this topic. Like

41:32

I can't, it's hard for me to see compost

41:35

in the recycling bin or like trash in

41:37

the recycling bin. I worry a lot

41:39

about contaminating the waste streams. It's

41:42

one of the few ways in which I'm a little uptight.

41:45

I don't know what it is. It's a weird, I don't know if it's a controlled

41:47

thing. And I'm really, I'm not like that

41:50

on any other subject. I know. Something

41:52

about trash. Do you have your parents like this?

41:55

No. Probably about something else. I don't

41:57

know. Have you discussed this with a professional?

42:00

No. Because Bruce actually

42:02

has this about him. I noticed from traveling with

42:04

him, he also really likes to make sure everything's

42:06

set. I've seen him go through the garbage

42:07

and pull things out. Yeah. You

42:09

know what? I think I have

42:12

a lot of friends that does this.

42:15

And you know, I

42:17

think they're all in

42:20

the white community. I've never been to

42:23

a while now it's a white thing. Because

42:25

we mix all shit. It might

42:27

be. So Miss Standon,

42:31

yes, court is now in session. You

42:34

had the most trash. Okay. I had

42:36

the second to most trash after

42:39

New York, who is starting

42:41

a whole new apartment.

42:44

It's true. I had a fair amount of

42:46

trash, but in my defense, I

42:48

threw a party for you guys.

42:50

Oh, deflection. Oh my goodness. Oh my

42:53

goodness. I came to my house to

42:55

celebrate Bruce and Nancy's new baby

42:57

and we had takeout. And all of that

43:00

takeout came in. That was like one piece

43:02

of box, right? A piece of box. No,

43:04

that is true. This is almost not believable. This is

43:06

honest. Can we introduce ourselves? Shubnam Sigmund,

43:08

managing producer. I'm sorry. I'm

43:10

sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

43:13

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm

43:15

sorry. I'm sorry. I'm

43:17

sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm

43:20

sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

43:23

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm

43:25

sorry. Are you okay? I'm fine.

43:28

I'm fine. You're fine. I'm

43:30

fine. I'm fine. I'm fine. You're

43:33

fine. I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm

43:36

fine.

43:37

Thanks. Yeah, I'm fine. I'm

43:39

fine. I'm fine. That's okay.

43:42

I'm fine. I'm fine. So

43:44

if you want to make up your mind,

43:46

please feel free to check out my website. What's your

43:48

name? My name is Lisa. Lisa. I'm

43:51

from the trash. Wow. So do you

43:53

not buy things that come in packaging? We

43:55

try really hard not to. Yeah.

43:59

Do you know what's... something that I discovered. What? Both

44:02

you and I clean up after people. That's true.

44:05

Yes, and a lot of my trash turned out

44:07

to be paper towels. Yeah, me too.

44:10

So tell me what your cleaning process is

44:12

here. It bothers me to see

44:15

a counter

44:16

or a sink area that has water and

44:19

soap and just stuff all over

44:21

it. Bits of food. Part of

44:23

me thinks, why can't people just wipe up after

44:25

themselves? But the other part of me is always like, well,

44:28

I should just do it. Because I don't know, if I were

44:30

the cleaning person, I would hate to show up and be like,

44:32

wow, they're such slums. I

44:35

think there's something about the visual simplicity

44:38

of it that is relaxing.

44:41

Yeah, I do think having

44:44

less clutter around is

44:47

less stressful for me. At

44:50

home, I tend to be the person who

44:52

picks up or puts things away, but

44:55

it doesn't bother me if things haven't

44:57

been deep cleaned forever. I'm not the cleaner.

45:00

I just don't like stuff in the wrong place.

45:02

It's just bothering the field of

45:05

vision, I guess. Yeah.

45:06

All

45:12

right, New York. Son! What

45:15

are you doing right now? Putting on these gloves

45:18

because it's about to get messy. Did

45:20

you feel any embarrassment

45:23

or uncomfortableness saving your garbage?

45:25

There were times when I felt weird carrying trash around.

45:29

I went to a comedy club this weekend. I

45:32

felt kind of weird carrying trash out of the club with me. Where

45:34

did you take out of the club? Scrap

45:37

food, whatever, trash, napkins,

45:40

little bull crap, a little zip lock bag. So

45:43

it just felt weird carrying around trash.

45:46

Yeah. Well, I respect the dedication. Yeah,

45:49

and hoping nobody think I'm crazy.

45:52

So we did this project at the beginning

45:55

of March, which was only a couple weeks after New

45:57

York had gotten out of prison. So, Erlon,

45:59

in some ways,

46:00

he was at a disadvantage because he

46:02

had these really big pieces of trash from like, you

46:04

know, one-time purchases, all the things that you get

46:06

when you're starting. T.O.Es and shit and everything

46:09

that you get in bulk. Mm-hmm. Yeah,

46:11

he was starting over. But he was also

46:14

in that window where after you get out of prison,

46:17

everybody

46:18

want to take you out to get something

46:20

to eat. So he

46:22

probably had less cooking

46:24

at home trash, like, you know, chicken

46:27

wrappers. Yes. But he

46:29

actually showed us trash from the first dinner he

46:31

made for himself after he got

46:34

out. I made salmon kraut katz

46:36

last night on my own. No

46:39

help, no guidance. Just me in the kitchen,

46:41

and they were delicious. How you doing? It

46:44

was delicious. Did you make this for someone

46:46

else or just yourself? No, I was the only one around.

46:49

So just me, nobody made it for me. It

46:52

was self-sufficient. I was self-sufficient.

46:55

Put ketchup on it, as always, my favorite condiment.

46:57

I took it to my room,

46:59

and I ate it while I was working on a

47:01

computer. One hand on the computer, another hand on

47:03

a fork. My side dish was

47:06

grapes. I got a little lazy on a side dish.

47:10

So I ate the grapes, and that was it. Drunk some

47:12

water. That was it. It was delicious. Well, thank

47:14

you, New York, for participating. You,

47:16

I'm not sure if you're welcome, Nodge. But

47:19

thank you.

47:27

Bruce started unloading his bags, and

47:29

right away, it's clear that there's

47:31

something different. So the night before

47:34

the challenge, I decided to do

47:36

a fair amount of cooking and free stuff for the

47:38

week, so I wouldn't generate that trash during the seven

47:41

days we were keeping our trash. Smart. The

47:43

next morning, the dishes

47:45

were piled up. One of those glasses fell

47:47

into the sink, and instead of letting it just fall and

47:50

shatter, I went

47:52

to catch it, and it ended up with part of that. Glass

47:55

jar in my fingers. So

47:57

I ended up with the ER, because it wouldn't...

47:59

stop bleeding and it's pretty deep and it's sort

48:02

of lost feeling. I still don't have feeling in

48:04

it. So the first day of the seven days

48:06

of trash, I spent five hours in the ER.

48:09

So Bruce sat down and started pulling all

48:11

of this stuff out of

48:13

a plastic bag. Oh, you've

48:15

wet a lot. Those were all the paper towels

48:18

before I got to the emergency room. And

48:21

I was the first, oh, oh yeah. And I ended

48:23

up, one of those, I ended up at the ER with

48:26

and when they were checking me and they're like, oh, you can just throw that out. I was

48:28

like, no, I actually have to keep it. And she's like, no, throw it out.

48:30

I think, no, I have to keep it.

48:32

So that was the only piece that I actually told

48:34

somebody at the hospital I had to keep. And then this was the

48:36

rest of it that I squirreled

48:39

out. There was a long time when I was just sitting

48:41

in a back room. So this was leading

48:43

up.

48:43

I feel like you committed to this so

48:45

deeply. Wait

48:50

a minute. I hear metal. Whoa.

48:55

I just still has blood on it. And

48:58

how much gum were you chewing? I chewed two

49:00

pieces of gum. And finally,

49:02

dun, dun, dun. It's

49:05

Erlon's turn to reveal. I see

49:07

that face you're making. Shit. All

49:10

right, Erlon, your turn. My turn. Oh,

49:12

shit, this is going to be simple. So

49:17

right now, Erlon is looking around the room for his trash.

49:19

This is one of them. Just, well, it might just be these

49:21

two. Huh.

49:25

Here I am with my trash. Was

49:27

it as awful doing it as you thought it would be? Was

49:29

there anything that surprised you? Any garbage that

49:31

surprised you? The

49:34

little cuties. I

49:37

be knocking them cuties down. I got

49:39

cuties all in my pocket like it's money.

49:42

You know what I'm saying? And I'm talking about you knocking down

49:44

wherever, whoever house you at. You see some

49:46

cuties.

49:46

Why are there cuties everywhere? Oh,

49:49

I don't know. Everybody like them. They cute. Is

49:51

it something like what, a fourth of an orange?

49:55

Well, let's see what you got here, my friend. Of

49:58

course, when this thing started, I started being. mindful

50:01

of what my trash was about to be. So,

50:06

first thing I'm coming out with...

50:09

You're pouting yourself? What? Are

50:12

you on a diet? So, this

50:15

is an Atkins low-carb living

50:18

life, you know what I'm saying? Why didn't you start

50:20

eating Atkins food? When this challenge started,

50:23

I told you I was mindful. Mindful

50:26

because you're trying to lose weight or because you wanted

50:28

to express to the world

50:30

that you eat the carbs? That I'm low-carbing?

50:33

Yeah. Is it working?

50:36

I gotta see what else is in your trash. And then, of

50:38

course, I got a little cutie right here. And

50:41

then, you know, my

50:43

Atkins bowl that I washed out. Nice.

50:45

So, that's one day. That's one

50:47

bag. Oh,

50:50

shit.

50:53

Now, this is interesting. It's interesting.

50:55

I have a million little trees.

50:58

You had a bundle of

51:00

little tree fresheners. You

51:03

know, they kind of look like felt.

51:05

Well, right here. And they

51:08

still smell like trees. I think I might have took them out too soon. But

51:10

why do you have like eight of them? Three,

51:13

four, five, six.

51:17

Only six. One of them is hella big. Why do you have

51:19

six tree fresheners? So, the story behind

51:21

this is Tyra had a cool

51:23

smell in her car.

51:25

And it was because of the

51:28

little Christmas trees. So, as

51:31

a shout out to her, I just get this same type

51:34

of smell. And

51:36

Tyra, as listeners may know, is someone

51:39

who you were really close to, Erlon,

51:42

who died last year.

51:43

Yes, she did. So,

51:46

I always keep these in the car. So, every time

51:48

I see them in certain places, I just get a

51:50

gang of them and throw them in the glove

51:52

compartment. Can I smell one of them? Yeah, they still, they

51:55

still,

51:57

they still, oh, shit. I

52:00

get it. That's what your car usually smells

52:02

like.

52:04

And that's it. That's my life. Well, for someone

52:06

who didn't want to do it, you did a pretty good job. But

52:08

what does that say about you? I don't know, because

52:11

this is like a fraudulent attempt,

52:14

you know? And I told you that from the beginning. I was

52:16

mindful of what I did. So I didn't do

52:18

trash when I was like, nope, not

52:21

going to do that. That's going to create trash. I'm

52:23

good. I pass on that. So

52:26

I was very mindful in

52:29

this whole process.

52:30

You learn anything about yourself doing it? If

52:34

I be mindful,

52:35

um, I can lose weight because guess how much

52:38

weight I lost? How

52:40

much? Eight pounds. Four.

52:42

Four. But wait,

52:43

why did you lose four pounds doing this? I

52:45

was mindful. Well,

52:47

McDonald's in here. There's no, none

52:50

of the junk food.

52:51

Why? Because you didn't want to keep

52:53

it or you didn't want people to see it. No, because

52:56

I didn't want to keep it. I didn't want to keep McDonald's

52:58

bags. You know, you leave out there with trash

53:00

and no beer. Just to be honest, I'm

53:02

not like really a beer drinker like that, unless it's

53:05

just like if I quit smoking weed, then I become a

53:07

beer drinker. But it looks like you didn't smoke

53:09

a lot of weed this week. No. So what

53:11

I did was I smoked a lot

53:13

of bums.

53:16

And this was just so you wouldn't have garbage.

53:22

It's a, it's a method to this madness over here,

53:25

Nigel. I was walking light for these

53:27

last seven days.

53:28

Your garbage is

53:31

so delightful.

53:35

Drum roll, pitties, because we have

53:37

the queen of trash. I

53:40

would love to wear a crown for that. Thank you.

53:43

I'm going to say that

53:46

Nigel has everything labeled,

53:51

dated and in their own

53:53

sections. Every day has garbage,

53:56

compost and coffee. Garbage

53:59

compost. and coffee. So... Damn!

54:08

So what I'm seeing is... The

54:11

Ziploc industry just came up. They

54:13

had a great customer here.

54:16

The one thing I could say about me is I may have produced

54:18

more garbage to house my

54:20

project than anybody else. Yes, you

54:23

did. Because you literally had a whole box

54:25

of Ziplocs for this project. And

54:28

I had to... After a couple days I had to redo

54:30

every bag so they would be exactly the same because

54:32

I ran out of bags. And when I bought new

54:34

bags they said hefty on it so I had to

54:36

go back and reorganize some of the

54:38

projects so it would all be the same. This

54:40

is the problem here, Nigel. You

54:42

couldn't be Mitch Matts. You had to have all the hefty.

54:45

They had to be the same. Yeah. Routine.

54:48

Yeah, I love a routine. So wait a minute, which

54:50

one should we do first? Because

54:52

the compost looks like you got a lot of compost

54:54

going. So

54:57

technically you got 21 bags right there.

54:59

So I don't think actually, Erlon, I had a ton

55:02

of trash. Or maybe I feel

55:04

that way because it was actually so pretty

55:06

and well organized. I mean, I had tender

55:08

feelings towards it so it wasn't like

55:11

I mind keeping it. Nudge. Yes.

55:13

You had a ton of paper towels.

55:17

And you had a diet coke for each day. Yeah,

55:20

but did you notice how I squished it down and made it

55:22

small? And I

55:24

definitely had seven popsicle sticks because I have a popsicle

55:26

every night. I had some

55:28

used up bottles of

55:30

beauty lotion. I stuck

55:32

a few rings in there that I was getting rid of.

55:35

So, yeah, I mean I did have

55:37

some but it was not a ton. Well, I

55:39

mean, it was well curated. Well, yeah, it was definitely

55:41

well curated. And all the bags were

55:44

labeled with a Sharpie. When

55:46

I see this, the organization of it, I find

55:48

very soothing. So it feels like

55:50

there's some maybe sense of control

55:53

about stuff. But do it

55:55

feel like, do

55:58

it feel like hoarding? No. No,

56:00

it makes me, it actually makes me happy and makes

56:02

me relaxed. Really? Yeah.

56:05

Um, because I can see everything, everything

56:07

has a date. It focuses

56:09

my brain, I think, from just being all

56:11

over the place to see, see stuff catalog.

56:13

It's like everything goes in its place and it feels

56:16

like the world is right then. You

56:19

know what I mean? Like it's a small way to make

56:24

the world feel okay.

56:29

So next up was supposed to be the big

56:31

San Quentin Inside Teen Trash Review.

56:34

That's right. Let me point out what you

56:37

just said. Supposed to be.

56:41

I think, um, Bruce, I think they misunderstood

56:44

what you told them. Yeah. Because

56:46

this is all the trash they have. Yeah,

56:48

this is all they have between the two of them. Yeah, so we got

56:50

rid of, yeah. So it's

56:52

a little tough here.

56:55

All right, Bruce. So can you

56:58

just tell us what happened? Okay.

57:01

So what I remember, the plan

57:03

was to do the

57:05

outside trash reveal, I believe

57:07

on a Monday and then the next day on a Tuesday,

57:10

we'd go in and do the inside

57:12

trash reveal. There were a number

57:14

of circumstances, which there

57:16

always are, that led to us not being able to do go

57:19

in that Tuesday. So we called into

57:21

San Quentin and I said, if there's

57:24

anything in the trash that the three of you have gathered

57:26

that's going to be like disgusting, you can

57:28

throw that out, just document it, keep

57:30

the rest of your trash. So then we went in the following

57:32

Monday, the three of us expecting

57:34

there to be like a fair amount of trash, you know? But

57:39

it turns out to take it basically

57:41

throughout everything except

57:43

like a few pieces of selective, nicely

57:46

curated trash. I think Nigel was like... I wouldn't

57:48

edit. I was like, this. Oh yeah. I

57:52

was trying to not look

57:52

mad, but I was like, what the fuck? And I wasn't

57:55

blaming Bruce. I mean, I knew it got lost in translation.

57:58

It took me a minute to recover. But what it did

58:00

give us was, as you said, nicely

58:03

curated trash to deal with. So

58:05

it ended up working, but it was one

58:07

of the few

58:07

times I really was going to, I thought I was going to lose my

58:09

temper inside. To me it felt like, oh

58:11

yeah, of course. Every time we go in there,

58:13

there's some lost in translation. Somebody's not

58:16

there. That's just the nature of it in there. But

58:18

this one, for some reason, struck you more

58:21

even though you've been in there for whatever. You're

58:23

exactly right. I should be totally used to that

58:25

stuff happening. I tried to be, but

58:28

I will admit, I was like, how could this be?

58:31

It was actually Reg's trash

58:33

that was smelly. It was Reg's trash. I

58:36

kept it 100. I really kept my trash

58:38

though. I didn't throw nothing out. And

58:41

even in the sale was thinking, I

58:43

was thankful that I was able to bring it down

58:45

here and drop it off. To be honest

58:47

with you, Oscar the Grouch would have thought

58:50

that was perfume the way that he

58:52

would have been juiced. Give it to me.

58:55

So we just had to ask them to describe

58:58

what all the trash looked like before they threw it out.

59:00

And it was a lot, like way

59:03

more than the trash any of us on the outside team

59:05

had.

59:06

It filled up a trash can. A 50 gallon

59:08

trash can. And how did you throw it all out?

59:11

Into it. Just one? You

59:13

put everything in one giant 50 gallon trash can.

59:17

But Tony, Sadiq and Reggie had each kept

59:19

a little bit of trash. So we got an idea

59:22

of what had been in those bags.

59:24

Oh wow. Can you describe what that looks like? So yeah,

59:26

it's this weird contraption that I had never seen

59:28

anywhere else until I came here. It's

59:32

like a, it's like foil and plastic. And

59:36

you can kind of pop the piece, you can

59:38

pop the medication out. And it's

59:40

probably the size of a book, like a hardcover

59:43

book. It's got my name on

59:45

it. And it's got phlooxetine, which is generic

59:47

for Prozac.

59:48

The front is orange. So it looks kind of festive.

59:52

Like there's going to be some treat in there. Yeah.

59:55

It's a party. It's a party. It

59:57

looks like a, it looks like candy or it looks

59:59

like an apple. calendar. Yeah. Looks like

1:00:01

an advent calendar and then it's got I guess

1:00:04

maybe it's your CDCR number on it and it says where

1:00:06

you live North Block, San Quentin.

1:00:08

So this is made specifically for prison.

1:00:11

Yes. And isn't there any

1:00:13

other use you could have for this? You

1:00:16

know what they're really good for? Stopping the door from

1:00:18

slamming when it's really windy in North Block. Who's

1:00:22

toothbrush is that? Oh that's mine. It's

1:00:25

barely used. Why'd you throw it out? So it's

1:00:29

like it's like no it's like three months in so

1:00:31

I got rid of it and I got a new one. It's like I look at that toothbrush

1:00:33

and I could think of a bunch of stuff I would do with it. Yeah.

1:00:37

Would you reuse it? Yeah I would reuse

1:00:39

it. Well first I would use

1:00:41

it longer because I'm definitely cheap about toothbrushes.

1:00:44

I use mine to clean the tile. When I dust

1:00:46

the floor I used to get all the

1:00:49

loose hair pieces of dust.

1:00:52

I get it all off with the old toothbrush.

1:00:54

I have brought a brand new toothbrush to brush my

1:00:56

beard. I was brushing my beard. I

1:00:58

have it back here. Matter of fact that I always brush my beard in

1:01:00

the morning. It's not growing out right now but I still use

1:01:03

it a little bit. I mean you just got one or you got a couple

1:01:05

of them together?

1:01:05

I just have one. Tony

1:01:08

you can look so. Eyebrow brush. Oh

1:01:10

what? An eyebrow brush. I

1:01:13

use mine to clean my clippers.

1:01:15

Mm-hmm. Yeah.

1:01:18

So you see all these uses on these. Yeah all these uses

1:01:20

and I just threw it right on the way. I think out of them too. Yeah

1:01:23

actually there's other. That's the old school. New

1:01:25

York. New York

1:01:28

City.

1:01:30

And

1:01:30

finally it was Reggie's turn to reveal

1:01:33

his trash. And you know what Erlon?

1:01:36

I feel like he and I are kindred spirits. I do

1:01:38

too. He was so committed to this project.

1:01:40

Not just committed. He can get

1:01:42

real like descriptive. Oh he

1:01:44

can do it. Like just introspective. Mm-hmm. Did

1:01:47

you learn anything about yourself from collecting all this

1:01:50

garbage? I eat too damn much. I

1:01:52

need to cut back on and people

1:01:54

in comment on my stomach talking about

1:01:57

what you look like. You obese

1:01:59

right there.

1:01:59

like, dude, you built

1:02:02

like a dad now. You

1:02:04

got that damn, you got

1:02:07

that uncomfortable dad body like

1:02:09

you whole show up at a PTA

1:02:12

meet that it eats. So what you learned,

1:02:15

what you learned is that you eat too much. I

1:02:17

eat too much. And I'm accumulating too

1:02:19

much plastic. What

1:02:21

do you think Reggie's trash says about him? That

1:02:26

Reggie just, I

1:02:31

don't know. Reggie just, I don't know. Reggie's

1:02:34

wild. Reggie's wild, man.

1:02:38

Reggie's dedicated to the cause. Yeah,

1:02:40

he is. Whatever the cause is,

1:02:42

if he's on it, he's dedicated. Yeah.

1:02:45

He's gonna do it. Yeah. That's what I

1:02:47

think, yeah. 100%, 110% he's gonna do it.

1:02:49

And I would think that your trash should be all

1:02:51

kind of like, kind of

1:02:53

like crazy. If you were to open that bag,

1:02:56

you would have smelled like that noise. Do

1:02:58

it again, that noise. That's what

1:03:00

it would have smelled like. Yeah.

1:03:03

Well, just

1:03:03

cause you get super excited about, it's like very passionate

1:03:05

about anything that we talked to you about. So I'd

1:03:07

imagine any project you would be passionate about.

1:03:09

And so your trash was like abundant,

1:03:13

abundant and passionate trash.

1:03:16

Yeah.

1:03:23

And when you look at your trash, what

1:03:26

does it say about the life that you're living right now?

1:03:31

Wasteful, gluttonous,

1:03:36

and I'm clearly not thinking about myself or

1:03:38

the future. I'm

1:03:41

just thinking about right now and how I

1:03:43

can satiate whatever that need

1:03:45

is.

1:03:50

I feel that too, because when it's there,

1:03:52

I just eat it. Like these

1:03:54

TGI Friday chips, I

1:03:56

ate three bags just in one sitting, just

1:03:58

laying on my bunk, just eating.

1:03:59

the chips over and over and over because it's there. And

1:04:02

I feel like I take things for

1:04:04

granted by just eating the things that I get, that

1:04:07

my people take care of, send in to me. And

1:04:11

I'm not looking at the fact that they out there working

1:04:13

hard for this stuff and I'm just wasting it by eating

1:04:15

it all up. And

1:04:18

it kind of is like it plays with me now because

1:04:20

I'm looking at these things that I've just eaten and

1:04:23

they

1:04:24

sat there and bought all this stuff and they wonder

1:04:26

why I always asking for more things. Like

1:04:28

why do I need it? And I just bought it for

1:04:30

you. Cuz

1:04:33

I'm wasting it and it kind of

1:04:36

shows where I'm at in my life. What

1:04:38

do you think, Rich? What

1:04:40

came up for me is my unresolved

1:04:43

insecurity. I grew

1:04:45

up, I was skinny

1:04:46

most of my life. And at

1:04:49

times I was in a household where

1:04:51

it wasn't enough food to eat. And I

1:04:53

recall during my childhood, the

1:04:56

first time I went to the refrigerator in I

1:04:58

opened it and it wasn't nothing in there to eat

1:05:00

and I closed it and I went outside

1:05:02

and played, came back 30 minutes later

1:05:04

and opened it and still wasn't no food

1:05:07

in there. That trauma sat

1:05:09

with me, but it was so painful,

1:05:11

I put it in the back of my mind. And

1:05:15

I never addressed it. And

1:05:19

I'm coming to realize that my insecurities

1:05:22

about my weight and my size

1:05:25

is showing through my food consumption.

1:05:29

I don't wanna be without. Just

1:05:31

having food and eating

1:05:34

it whenever I want to, I'm comfortable

1:05:36

with that. And I need to get out my

1:05:38

comfort zone and address that insecurity

1:05:41

that I have with my weight and with food.

1:05:44

I never went back and grabbed

1:05:47

that little boy

1:05:48

and told him, it's all right, we got plenty of food

1:05:50

now. Even though I'm in prison, I still

1:05:52

need to go back and deal with that trauma.

1:05:55

The

1:06:10

So, Erlon, this is why I love doing these

1:06:12

projects. I love the group dynamic

1:06:14

of it, and I love how everyone on the

1:06:16

team rallies around something, and

1:06:19

you get excited about it, and you learn about people's

1:06:21

personalities. Erlon, I know this

1:06:23

is hard because we know each other really well.

1:06:25

Yeah. But I'm curious, did you learn anything

1:06:27

new about me? Yeah. You

1:06:29

have a Popsicle every night before you go to sleep.

1:06:32

That's surprising, isn't it? I don't look like a Popsicle

1:06:35

eater, but I am. Not every night. I

1:06:37

know. But, you know, I think beyond

1:06:40

what we learned about people on the team,

1:06:42

what I really like best about doing these challenges

1:06:45

is the way it connects us with the guys inside,

1:06:47

and we do something

1:06:49

together, and we get excited about together, and

1:06:51

at that time when we're doing these, it's

1:06:53

like we're speaking the same language.

1:06:55

You know what I'm surprised

1:06:57

about? What? That

1:06:59

a lot of people really enjoy

1:07:02

doing this type of stuff. You know,

1:07:04

I might think that it's a weird idea,

1:07:07

but then like, oh, everybody into this shit.

1:07:10

All right, maybe I was wrong. Maybe I was wrong. I

1:07:12

was looking at it wrong.

1:07:19

If you're interested in doing your

1:07:21

own trash challenge alone or with

1:07:23

a group, please go to EarHustleSQ.com.

1:07:26

Click on the trash episode

1:07:28

where you will find a link to our trash challenge

1:07:31

user guide. We got a trash challenge

1:07:33

user guide? Yes, and we're very excited about it. Do not

1:07:35

put it down, my friend.

1:07:37

Please. EarHustle is produced by

1:07:40

me, Nigel Poore, Erlon Woods,

1:07:42

Bruce Wallace, Amy Standen, and

1:07:44

our son, New York Thomas.

1:07:46

With help from Neroli Price and

1:07:48

Tony Tafoya inside of San Quentin. This

1:07:51

episode was sound designed and engineered by me, Erlon

1:07:54

Woods, and Derrell Sadiq Davis With

1:07:56

help from Fernando Arruda.

1:07:58

It features music by David Joss.

1:08:00

Antoine Williams, Erlon Woods, and

1:08:02

Darrell Sadiq Davis. Amy

1:08:05

Standen edits the show, Shubnam Sigmund

1:08:07

is our managing producer, and Bruce Wallace

1:08:10

is our executive producer. Thanks to

1:08:12

acting warden Oak Smith, and as

1:08:14

you know, every episode of Ear Hustle has

1:08:17

to be approved by this

1:08:18

woman here.

1:08:21

I am Lieutenant Gia Mare Berry, the

1:08:23

public information officer here at San Quentin

1:08:25

State Prison, and I approve this episode.

1:08:29

This episode was made possible by the Just Trust,

1:08:32

working to amplify the voices, vision, and

1:08:34

power of communities that are transforming the

1:08:36

justice system.

1:08:36

And please don't forget to sign up for our newsletter,

1:08:39

The Lowdown, where you can learn more about

1:08:41

each episode and find out what the Ear Hustle

1:08:43

team is up to. Subscribe at

1:08:46

EarHustleSQ.com slash

1:08:48

newsletter. You can also find out

1:08:50

more about the show on Facebook, Twitter,

1:08:52

and Instagram at EarHustleSQ.

1:08:56

Ear Hustle is a proud member of Radiotopia

1:08:58

from PRX, a network of independent,

1:09:01

creator-owned, listener-supported podcasts. Discover

1:09:04

audio with vision at Radiotopia.fm.

1:09:08

I'm Erlon Woods. I'm Nigel Poor. Thanks

1:09:11

for listening.

1:09:15

Oh, what is that? It's your wedding

1:09:17

ring. Hey, why did you say

1:09:19

that on the mic, Nigel?

1:09:23

Hey, listeners. It's that time of year. It's

1:09:25

our annual Ear Hustle fundraiser. Help

1:09:27

us reach our goal of 1,000 donors by

1:09:30

supporting us right now on EarHustleSQ.com,

1:09:33

or you can hit the link in the episode notes.

1:09:35

Everyone who donates will be invited to

1:09:38

our virtual celebration on June 8th. And

1:09:41

if you have a question for the team, just leave

1:09:43

it in the comment box when you donate. We

1:09:45

love hearing from listeners, and truly,

1:09:47

we read every single note.

1:09:49

Thank you for listening, and big thanks for

1:09:51

supporting the show.

1:09:55

Radiotopia. From

1:09:58

PRX. you