0:00

This week on Fare of the Free Child

0:02

podcast .

0:09

The final episode of Fare

0:11

of the Free Child podcast starts

0:14

now !

0:21

You can't keep using tools of oppression

0:23

and expect to raise free people

0:25

.

0:32

Peace and love . Akilah S

0:34

Richards here , final

0:36

episode . First

0:39

of all , I want to absolutely start out

0:41

with gratitude . It

0:47

has been levels of everything

0:49

really to be

0:51

in conversation and

0:54

, in some cases , community with

0:57

you . I started

0:59

this from a place of anger

1:02

and sadness , frustration

1:05

, longing

1:08

, which I'm

1:13

, recognizing the connection between

1:15

longing and belonging , and

1:20

that's what this podcast has been really

1:23

a journey from longing

1:25

to belonging , experiencing

1:27

a sense of belonging , inviting it

1:29

, being a co-conspirator in

1:32

different people's successful

1:35

belonging efforts

1:37

, their efforts to belong

1:39

and to create spaces where other people

1:41

felt that they belonged

1:43

, knew that they belonged , and

1:50

sometimes , when something

1:53

serves or someone invites

1:55

a sense of belonging , it can be hard to

1:57

let that person , that relationship

1:59

, that experience go . It can be hard

2:01

to let it go . I

2:04

am not about to play those

2:06

games with this podcast , because I know

2:08

that it is time to let it go

2:10

. I

2:14

find myself less

2:16

concerned with unschooling

2:19

as a pathway

2:21

, and more so who

2:23

unschooling has shaped, in

2:26

me in particular . Which

2:28

parts of myself was I able to let

2:30

go of as a result of going down

2:32

this journey through the portal called

2:34

unschooling ? Who

2:39

are my daughters now ? Who

2:41

is Kris now as my partner , as

2:43

their father ? Who are you

2:45

as someone who has been going through your own

2:48

unschooling journey over the years ? Who

2:50

has it shaped ? Where do you belong

2:52

? Where have you left

2:55

because you did not belong ? I'm

3:00

just more zoned in on

3:03

the embodiment

3:05

of the unschooling skills and

3:08

I really need to investigate

3:10

, explore , nurture

3:12

belonging in that space

3:15

, and it is different than what Fare

3:17

of the Free Child is for

3:19

/was for . In

3:27

this episode I'm going to do

3:29

a couple of things . One I'm going to offer

3:32

you that fifth care package . There

3:35

were five things I wanted to leave you with

3:37

how to guides , so

3:39

to speak , for navigating all of this information

3:42

that I've put out and been part

3:44

of over the past seven or eight years . A

3:47

beginner's path we've talked about A

3:50

path of moving from homeschooling to

3:52

more confident , autonomy centric

3:54

practices . We did

3:57

a for me , not them path . We

4:00

did a pervasive whiteness

4:02

naming that and navigating that

4:04

path . And then this week

4:06

we're going to talk about the been

4:08

unschooling and now ready to deepen

4:10

my ship path . I'm

4:15

also going to tell you

4:17

five places where you can get

4:19

the type of work that you are

4:21

getting on Fare of the Free Child . And

4:24

, of course , there are so

4:26

many podcasts that have been out

4:28

, and now there are even more podcasts that

4:30

are out that give you

4:32

this more expansive

4:35

, more inclusive , less

4:37

school or not school type of

4:39

approach to raising free people and unschooling

4:42

. I'm following a lot of those people

4:44

on Instagram . I also try

4:46

to share in my stories other

4:49

podcasters who are doing this type of work

4:51

. So I'm not saying

4:53

that this is the only place

4:55

where you could get it , but what I am saying

4:58

is that there are specific places

5:00

that are making sure that this work

5:02

, the effects of this work , the

5:04

impact of this work , live on . So I will

5:06

tell you those five spaces as well the

5:16

Been Unschooling and Now Ready to

5:18

Deepen my Shit Path . So

5:22

you've been unschooling , you get it . You're

5:25

not doing school at home . You

5:27

have your moments because we're all deschoolers

5:30

up in here , but you are ready

5:32

to deepen your

5:34

path ? You want to get all

5:36

up in the spiritual aspects of this

5:38

work . If you already are , you just want to

5:40

name it and be more intentional about

5:42

it . For that path

5:45

, there are two specific feelings

5:47

that I want to address . The first one

5:49

is being on the spiritual

5:51

path of unschooling right , and

5:54

then the feeling you're having is oh my

5:56

God , am I doing enough for them . When

5:58

it comes to your children , they

6:00

may be out of school like maybe

6:02

you've pulled them from school or maybe they're in school

6:05

but you are absolutely doing

6:07

unschooling practices . It is real

6:09

and true . In your life you are

6:11

having conversations about the difference

6:13

between what you want for your kids and what they're

6:15

saying they want . You are honoring

6:18

their nos and their yeses

6:20

. They address how

6:23

they're comfortable , not how you're comfortable

6:25

. You continue to invite conversations

6:28

about the things that you might not agree with or

6:30

understand . Right . You're doing that

6:32

type of work and

6:34

at the same time , you're also

6:36

feeling big doubts . You're not

6:38

sure whether you're stepping in when you're supposed

6:41

to , or if you're stepping in too much

6:43

or if you're not doing enough for

6:45

them . Should you be requiring them to do

6:47

certain things ? Should you be involved

6:50

in more spaces to find out more about

6:52

the opportunities available for them ? You

6:55

know that that I'm not doing

6:57

enough , feeling that we , as

6:59

parents tend to have Many

7:01

of us for

7:03

that feeling . Remember

7:05

that that feeling is oftentimes

7:07

just your wisdom

7:10

checking in with you . It's just

7:12

the part of you that wants to make sure that

7:15

you are honoring how

7:17

important this is . You

7:19

are looking at the angles that might not be readily

7:21

apparent . That's just more

7:23

of your wisdom at play , and

7:25

the more you believe that

7:28

, the more you trust into that

7:30

, the less audible

7:32

the doubts become . You

7:35

start to recognize the

7:37

difference between a fever , which

7:39

is just an indication of something else

7:41

happening some recalibration and

7:44

the flu . Right

7:47

now , in the schoolish mode , in

7:50

the more conventional parenting

7:52

mode , we treat everything like the flu

7:54

. Oh my God , what , okay , do I need to take

7:56

this medicine ? They need

7:58

to be getting away from everybody else . They need

8:00

to be focused in on the healing . It's the flu

8:02

, so I'm going to treat it with everything I

8:04

can because I don't want it to become pneumonia

8:06

. You know , sepsis Like we

8:08

. Just we go immediately . We

8:11

start off at like a level seven because we're

8:13

trying to stop it from getting to a 10 . As

8:15

you continue to deepen your path

8:17

and by deepen I mean

8:20

look more at why

8:22

you believe what you believe and act

8:24

how you act and why you resist

8:26

and why you push , really

8:28

investigating the why behind what

8:31

you do , and not so much assuming

8:34

that whatever you're doing , especially in relation

8:36

to a kid , is exactly what you

8:38

should be doing , because you're the parent and you just

8:40

want what's best for them . Right . So

8:42

you're already in that level of conversation . You

8:45

are on what I call the spiritual

8:47

path . As an unschooler , you

8:50

are not just thinking about my kid is not

8:52

going to be in school because of all the issues

8:55

with school . You don't connect the dish

8:57

to a whole bunch of other realities that

8:59

you did not get the chance to notice before

9:01

, and so in that

9:03

journey you move from

9:05

treating everything like the flu to

9:08

recognizing which things are fevers

9:10

and which things are your

9:12

fevers . It's not a fever that you're noticing

9:14

on them and wanting to treat on

9:16

them . It's actually your fever

9:19

, your fever lens that

9:21

is shaping how you're approaching

9:23

or viewing what's going on . So

9:26

that's my recommendation for that

9:28

particular feeling of I'm not doing

9:30

enough , recognize it as a fever

9:32

, not the flu . That feeling

9:35

is not evidence that you are not in fact

9:37

doing enough . What

9:39

it is is another part of your wisdom

9:42

checking in and you can respond to it and

9:44

say which part of this feels

9:46

legit . What do I want to pay a little bit

9:48

more attention to ? What will I look

9:50

into and which parts of

9:52

this ? Is just me being able to say thank

9:55

you for bringing that to my awareness , the

9:57

noticing that I always want to be checked

9:59

in , tuned in to the opportunities

10:01

out there . Right now . I'm

10:04

good on that . They good . They

10:06

doing what they want to do , they are engaged , they

10:08

are happy . Whatever

10:10

, your indicators are that your child

10:13

is getting what they need and

10:15

then if you don't feel like they're getting what they need

10:17

, that feeling is

10:19

just an opportunity for you to look at where

10:22

that need might be met . Maybe

10:24

it's not you , maybe

10:26

you are not the solver of that thing , but you can

10:28

point them in a direction . These

10:31

are fevers , not the flu . The

10:38

second one is really an

10:40

extension of the first one , which

10:42

is about managing me , not

10:45

them , not it , not

10:47

that choice , basically

10:49

getting tools for how you manage

10:51

things . When we talk about deepening

10:54

our shit in this path and moving away

10:56

from school or not school , or which class or

10:58

which curriculum , you're really looking

11:00

at a type of trade off

11:02

where you're giving up the idea

11:04

of a specific outcome

11:06

when it comes to your child , when it comes to

11:08

your life . You're giving up the idea

11:11

of if I do this , then I

11:13

should be able to get this out of it , trading

11:16

that in for managing yourself

11:19

, your reactions , how you respond

11:21

to choices , to changes , to

11:23

uncertainty you move

11:25

away from okay , if I go to

11:27

this school and get this degree , then

11:29

I should be able to get this type of job , whether

11:31

that's for you or your child

11:33

or a child in your life . You

11:36

go away from that and say , okay , if

11:38

I'm actually interested in this thing

11:40

, not this degree , and I'm

11:42

going down this path . How

11:44

can I best take care of myself while

11:46

I manage the disappointments as

11:48

well as the joys , the pleasant

11:51

surprises as well as the unpleasant ones

11:53

, the uncertainty as

11:55

well as the points of clarity ? If

11:58

you are deepening your path , you

12:00

are moving away from an attachment

12:02

to specific outcomes and

12:05

formulas and curricula over

12:08

into being grounded

12:10

in a certain level of confident

12:12

autonomy in yourself , in

12:15

your child , for them , on their

12:17

behalf , in such a way

12:19

that it ain't about what does or doesn't

12:21

happen . It's about how you deal

12:24

with it and how you are learning

12:26

to manage choices

12:28

, changes and uncertainty

12:31

. So

12:46

let's talk about the places where you

12:48

can continue to get this work . Raisingfreepeople

12:53

. com, Fare

12:55

of the Free Child episodes . They

12:58

not going nowhere , I'm just not doing any more

13:00

of them . So the 270 plus

13:02

actually , (because there was some brata

13:05

between-a- sodes) all of those

13:07

episodes , one link that you can

13:09

go to and you'll be able to get access

13:11

to every single episode . Raisingfreepeople

13:13

. com . More

13:17

places you can get this work: The

13:19

My Reflection Matters space has a Fare

13:22

of the Free Child village . So if you head

13:24

over to MyReflectionMatters . org

13:26

, so many reasons to be part of

13:28

that space with Chemay , Vanessa , that

13:30

whole crew . Love y'all . Oh my

13:32

gosh , so much work there

13:34

around liberation- centric parenting and

13:36

ways to be and raise free people . There

13:39

is a Fare of the Free Child village . I

13:41

encourage you to feel into

13:43

some of the questions that come up for you

13:46

as you listen to the episodes and

13:48

invite other people into

13:50

conversation around those things

13:52

, and the Fare of the Free Child village

13:54

inside MyReflectionMatters is a great

13:56

space to do that . Of

13:58

course , anywhere you're listening to this podcast

14:01

should be a link to this episode

14:03

, and there will be links specifically

14:06

for the MyReflectionMatters village and

14:08

everything else I talk about in this episode

14:10

. Another

14:14

place to get this work is

14:16

YouTube . There's a Fare of the Free

14:19

Child YouTube channel , f-a-r-e

14:21

of the Free Child . Lots

14:23

of information about past episodes

14:25

will be there . I will also be

14:27

doing occasional videos with people who

14:29

I wanted to interview on the podcast but

14:32

didn't get to . But y'all need

14:34

to know their stories . So I'll

14:36

be using YouTube for that . Make sure

14:38

you subscribe to the channel , write

14:40

that down ! Write that down ! On YouTube

14:43

. I will also be uploading lots of new

14:45

content from the perspective

14:47

of hindsight -my unschooled

14:50

OG wisdom lens . So

14:53

, for example , I plan to do these

14:55

kind of talk back videos on

14:57

that channel . For example , you'll see videos

14:59

that I posted in like 2014

15:02

, 2015, Really early on in our journey

15:04

, and some of those , when

15:06

I hear what I said or where I was

15:08

, I'm like , oh girl , keep going , come

15:10

on , come , come , come . So

15:12

I want to talk out loud to that version

15:15

of myself , because I know

15:17

from your feedback that it's

15:19

useful to hear things

15:21

from early on in the journey , especially if you're

15:23

just getting started on your raising free

15:25

people work . Like you just came across

15:27

the podcast or somebody else's work

15:29

and you're like , oh shit , okay , rabbit hole , Fare

15:32

of the Free Child ! oh my God , but what about

15:34

this ? You know I can speak from

15:37

those spaces and to those spaces

15:39

and that's what I plan to play

15:41

with on YouTube . Yeah , so just

15:43

make sure you subscribe . It's youtube . com

15:45

forward slash at fare of the free child

15:48

. Another

15:51

spot is our Make it Happen family:

15:53

patreon . com forward

15:55

slash Akilah . I have

15:57

two staple things

16:00

on Patreon in addition to

16:02

just like random everyday awesomeness

16:04

in between . Not every day , certainly

16:06

every couple of weeks , maybe even

16:08

every week , but

16:11

I have two staple things . They are

16:13

some type of way Thursdays,

16:15

or STOWdays . What

16:17

I plan to do , probably starting

16:19

towards the end of this year

16:21

, is that every month I'm gonna pick a Thursday

16:24

for a live session For

16:26

just discussion about the journey . It won't

16:28

be a public live , so you will need a link to

16:30

get in the room . So join us on patreon

16:32

and then we'll chop it up on video and in the chat

16:35

. You know that kind of deal , anything

16:37

you're feeling some type of weight about

16:39

on that particular week . We don't

16:41

hit up a stow day , it's an acronym , some

16:43

type of away . Okay , also

16:45

on patreon , I'm gonna share Things

16:48

like I will invite guests . Sometimes

16:50

there's so many people like oh my god ! Binah

16:52

Joy . Who does movement and body

16:55

work , just people whose work

16:57

influence my own Capacity

17:00

to be and raise free people because they

17:02

help me with my personal leadership

17:04

. You know , manage the things that are really about

17:06

me , but it look like it's about my

17:08

kids , or it look like it's about my relationship

17:11

with Kris or you know , whatever the thing is . So

17:14

just different things to name and manage

17:16

the feelings that come with this commitment to

17:18

raising free people . I'm gonna be

17:20

having conversations about that on patreon

17:23

as well , and doing some of that through

17:25

some type of away Thursdays , our STOW

17:27

days . The difference

17:30

between YouTube and patreon would

17:32

be that you might see a lightly edited

17:35

video version of a conversation

17:37

on YouTube right , so I'll put that on the channel

17:39

, but then on patreon I might go

17:41

back and talk about some of what I

17:43

gathered from the conversation , like a week

17:45

or a few days later . So our make

17:48

it happen family Patreon

17:50

is more of an intimate conversation

17:52

about the things that we would discuss on YouTube

17:55

. The

17:58

last spot that I will mention to

18:00

continue to get this work is

18:02

our online shop , schoolishness . com

18:05

. Like our make-it-happen family

18:08

, it's a place where you go to name

18:10

and manage the feelings that come with

18:12

this journey of raising and being free people

18:14

. The difference between the shop

18:17

and , say , patreon or YouTube is

18:19

that it gives you Tangible

18:21

tools and toys for that journey . So

18:24

some of my own spiritual processes

18:26

. That's why the practice deck is in there , the

18:28

card deck . I call that the raising

18:30

free people practice deck . That really came

18:32

from me , just using pieces of paper

18:35

and writing down things that helped

18:37

me stay in touch and in tune with how

18:40

I wanted to approach things , how

18:42

I wanted to Respond , not

18:44

react , you know , just calling in

18:46

my own alchemy and

18:48

then being able to create something

18:51

from that for other people to use it , just

18:53

like I use other people's books and card

18:55

decks and all of that . So it's just

18:57

some of the ways that I've learned to educate

19:00

and to connect with this version

19:03

of myself that is less school-centric

19:05

and that is not looking for outward

19:08

validation and a lot of sameness , you

19:10

know , in order to feel complete or whole

19:12

or on the right track . So when

19:15

I get asked questions like how

19:17

did I get away from being like

19:19

a nervous , doubtful parent over to

19:21

a confident unschooler , that

19:23

is the type of question that

19:25

the shop offers tools and toys for

19:28

. So , schoolishness . com

19:30

, go check it out . I

19:38

want to thank you for rocking with

19:40

me for however long

19:42

you have been here , whether you

19:44

started with us in July of 2016

19:47

, or this is the very first episode

19:49

you're listening to . I appreciate

19:52

you could not have done this Well

19:55

, could not have continued to do this without

19:57

you , because I

19:59

did it , because I needed it , but

20:01

I would not have continued for this

20:04

long had it not been for your

20:06

involvement , every

20:08

single member of our Make it Happen family

20:11

on Patreon . com all

20:13

178

20:15

of y'all . At this time I'm not

20:17

going to say everybody's name , but

20:19

know that I'm calling in constant

20:22

gratitude and joy and

20:24

appreciation for your presence in my

20:27

life . Stay a part

20:29

of our Make it Happen family on Patreon . com/akilah

20:31

. Join

20:34

anytime you're listening to this episode

20:36

because the podcast has

20:38

died , the elder has been laid to

20:41

rest , but my work as

20:44

someone shaped divinely

20:46

by my unschooling path continues

20:48

and you can see how on

20:50

Patreon and find all the other

20:52

spaces where I am doing and

20:54

living into what I've become

20:56

as a result of this journey . Juan

21:11

Pablo Perez, Fatima Mookadam, Vanessa Molano , Kris

21:13

Richards , David

21:16

Amesquita , Daniella Gutierrez Paez, everybody

21:18

who has worked on any episode of

21:21

Fare the Free Child Bless

21:23

, bless , bless , bless . Up yourself

21:25

. Everybody who has been listening

21:27

consistently Bless , bless

21:29

, bless , up yourself . Every

21:35

version of me that has lived through

21:37

this podcast . Bless , bless

21:39

, bless and up myself . You

21:42

listening , bless you . May

21:45

your journey to being and

21:47

raising free people continue

21:50

to evolve beautifully , love

21:52

and appreciate you . Chat

21:55

to you somewhere else in space

21:57

and time . Peace .

22:12

I'm coming from a background Black

22:14

, british , jamaican parents

22:16

, all of that culture

22:19

and hearing about what it was like

22:21

for them growing up and how

22:23

they had such a strict upbringing

22:25

and stuff . So this is what I'm going against

22:28

, potentially , and I

22:30

just want some sort of affirmation

22:33

or reminder of what it means

22:35

to have and raise free

22:37

children Really

22:42

the term

22:44

free child and

22:47

kind of like what this

22:49

means and what

22:51

this creates and

22:53

, dare I say , the benefits

22:55

and the risks of this .

23:00

I trust children Fare

23:02

. The Free Child is a weekly podcast

23:04

that centres Diverse narratives

23:06

, insightful commentary , Learning

23:10

with our children and de-schooling ourselves

23:12

, Owning our multiple identities

23:15

and treating children with dignity , Creating

23:18

community and sharing conversation

23:20

from often silenced spaces

23:23

. This

23:30

statement raising free people

23:32

what does it mean ? What

23:36

does it look like in action ? Is

23:39

it even possible ? Raising

23:42

free people ? The term and the work

23:44

that it invokes tends to appeal

23:46

to a certain type of person , the

23:48

type of person who has particular , usually

23:51

unpopular , opinions and

23:53

motivations for parenting or

23:55

working with people before they become

23:58

adults . This work

24:00

is oriented toward liberatory

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relationships by trying

24:04

to avoid or no longer do

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two things One , we

24:09

want to avoid or we want to stop

24:11

unconsciously mimicking the

24:13

ways that we were parented or treated

24:15

before we became adults . And

24:18

two , we want to avoid or

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we want to stop parenting

24:22

from a place of anger and anxious

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reactions to society's ideas

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on how young people should be raised

24:29

or treated . Basically

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, when we say we're raising free people

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, we've decided that respect

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and love , not fear and

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control , will be how we raise

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and regard the youngest members of

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our homes and our society .