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2:04

I'd I'd welcome back to the gym

2:06

have maker but sub hide cast. I'm.

2:09

Oh you're going to be thrilled to hear from our author

2:11

this month cause I was. I

2:13

literally just finished the interview and. I'm

2:17

just like energized in every molecule of

2:19

speech. And new might

2:21

remember her frankly if he's been a friend

2:23

of the show for a while. she was

2:25

in a super popular series. And Twenty twenty

2:28

one called for the love of flipping. The

2:30

script and we had an

2:32

amazing conversation with two days.

2:35

Until light for guests!

2:37

Jamie currently my about.

2:39

Fighting. A fear of failure. It

2:43

was a wonderful conversation. Really like as you haven't

2:45

already, go back and get that episode. Of listen

2:47

to that was extraordinary. If you did

2:49

catch that episode, the New probably already know

2:51

that Jamie is a New York Times bestselling

2:53

author of Hub New but back then with

2:56

Pub believe it, she the guess teacher of

2:58

the last few months last live with. Clean

3:00

Herself Oprah founder of

3:02

It Cause Metics which

3:05

has it's own extraordinary.

3:07

Model of success in the world.

3:10

So my favorite thing about. The

3:12

It brand is that Jamie started.

3:15

Would turn into a mega company and her little.

3:17

All Living Room and it

3:19

has grown it to the

3:21

largest luxury make up brand

3:23

in the country. We talked

3:25

about this our first episode, but she sold it

3:27

to Lore yell. And a billion

3:29

with a be. Dollar bill.

3:32

Which Mitzi became the first female

3:35

Ceo of a Lori L brand

3:37

in the company's history. In addition

3:39

to like all that often this

3:42

Jamie as she's a super active

3:44

when therapist. To the mom

3:46

of two and ancestors speaker a

3:48

thought leader. She says of

3:51

wonderful force. Of Good at the

3:53

World And today we're going talk

3:55

about her New with book or

3:57

Worthy Worthy is the March selection.

4:00

For the to inhabit her book club and

4:02

it just came out so. I saw

4:04

an additional have been the most. Like.

4:06

Xiii Zippy, glitzy,

4:09

Cover I've ever seen on about which

4:11

I love it. It has most incredible

4:13

subtitle and it fits right in with

4:16

what we've been talking about really and

4:18

all my channels all month long. So

4:20

her sub. Is how to believe

4:22

you are enough and transform. Your

4:24

life and really does it in a nutshell.

4:26

And if you don't already love. Jamie

4:28

to pieces. you will after this

4:31

interview. So lucky I helped me

4:33

welcome back the absolutely incredible Jamie

4:35

Current Lima. Jamie

4:43

I'm so happy to see you and

4:45

I'm so happy to have you back

4:47

on the show! I am so grateful

4:49

to be here and so excited. And

4:51

be he for having knee and yeah

4:53

I'm fired at and just and honored

4:56

cel. Yeah it's easy. Sell Okay,

4:58

I have a million things I want

5:00

to say. The cover.

5:03

Of. This book is so

5:05

looney. Like am

5:07

like moods so shiny

5:09

and magnetic and amazing And

5:12

so I would pick this

5:14

book off the shelf. Before.

5:17

I knew it was about. But now that

5:19

I know what it's about, says. Be.

5:21

Kill A, You're welcome. And.

5:24

So passionate about this and this is just

5:26

a book. For every person's ever

5:28

doubted there and know which is

5:30

me most of my entire life

5:33

and still often every day. Until

5:35

play all the tools in this. But to literally

5:37

learn to believe and where the a good

5:39

daily life long thing that I'm so honored

5:41

to be party or but plants Let me

5:43

just say that lake or three men from

5:45

the top of their it's i am so

5:47

excited and bake you so much and and.

5:50

Just excited and have thought that this

5:52

book is for every single women in

5:54

person inside your cloud. I to Nutley

5:56

to read our stories and does all

5:58

of this South Asia. And. So

6:00

everybody listening is this is also

6:03

going out to my entire podcast

6:05

feed. Not just our book club

6:07

members. This is what Jamie wrote.

6:10

at the very beginning of her but. As a

6:12

dedication. For. The eighty

6:14

percent of women who don't bleed nests,

6:16

The seventy five percent of female executives

6:19

who deal with imposter. Syndrome. And

6:21

the ninety one percent of girls. And women who

6:23

don't love their bodies. For the seventy three

6:25

percent of men who feel inadequate, and the

6:28

one hundred percent of men who came from

6:30

a woman and likely have at least. One

6:32

girl or woman in their lives whom they. Care about

6:34

when you believe your fundamentally not

6:37

enough and unworthy as a person.

6:39

It is alive. The

6:41

time to unlearn that lies has

6:43

come together. Let's leave. No girl,

6:45

no woman know person left behind.

6:48

In knowing they're worthy. I've. Goosebumps.

6:51

I just have goosebumps. Like less

6:53

the anybody say. Oh

6:55

I don't know if I said into this category. You.

6:58

Obviously do. Everybody listening, we're

7:00

part of such. Enormous.

7:03

Like demographics. And

7:05

we know there is this message humming

7:07

along inside our veins that we're not

7:10

enough. and you can fill in the

7:12

category. Our. Bodies, our emotions,

7:14

our careers are families. I mean

7:16

really, it's endless. It's a list

7:19

what we can sell deficient in.

7:22

But the through line remains. Yeah.

7:24

I think he nodes and most demand

7:26

nice cause. I always knew deep

7:29

down he didn't feel on that. but I

7:31

believe that lie ahead. see the Nes. Then

7:33

I finally feel enough or as

7:36

I people please message they make

7:38

and as people happy. Or if

7:40

I get some kind of external.

7:43

Recognition as lads. Then I'll

7:45

buy me feel enough and

7:47

I literally. Spent decades of

7:49

my life in that pursuit and. Selves.

7:51

You know when you google my story you'll always

7:54

seen I I started a company called. It cause

7:56

metics as you know my living room and. Druids

7:58

who were thousand employees and. The

8:00

color yeah and all these things

8:02

happen That kind of by the

8:04

world's external definition of success said

8:06

make you feel enough and and

8:08

you when you google my story

8:10

it always says you know daddy's

8:12

waitress build silly not company and

8:14

law. That's true. When. I

8:17

didn't understand with even through all that

8:19

decades and doing things I have a

8:21

really cared about and lay didn't know

8:23

was I was building a lot of

8:26

self confidence. But. That that

8:28

is very different than self worth. And.

8:31

So many of us spend our whole lives.

8:33

the league's I'll convert as which is very

8:35

important and we strive for goals and things

8:37

with people make us feel happy and fulfilled

8:39

and we bill complex in the pursuit of

8:42

those things. But then when we arrive at

8:44

Than. It slowly but surely we

8:46

offered his are baptists feeling like it's

8:48

not enough or something is missing or

8:50

we're not enough and sell usually our

8:52

solution as will let me just. Level

8:54

up but achieve more and give more and

8:57

do more ads all the season. That was

8:59

sort of me forever and. I.

9:02

Even had arrived at working decades for some

9:04

big goals in my life. and then. Still

9:07

not understanding. Why? Do

9:09

I still feel like I'm not enough?

9:11

And even as recent as a few

9:13

years ago, I was sabotaging different areas

9:16

of my life potential friend said things

9:18

like that not realizing that even though

9:20

I was very confident and I thought

9:23

I. Needed my confidence would ask.

9:25

Needed with more software. I didn't

9:27

believe internally I was a nest.

9:29

At the person a hand when we do not believe

9:31

we are in his. Rights Their

9:34

self right is very very different. It

9:36

will impact every single area of our

9:38

lives. Even as recently as just a

9:40

few years ago I thought like da

9:42

says worked so hard I should be

9:44

happy as sit still enough I said

9:46

it's all the see that I still

9:48

didn't and still sabotaging be the my

9:50

life. It's so can a doubting myself

9:52

and my destiny and a lot of

9:54

ways And I just realized that after

9:56

sabotaging a big lifelong dream just about

9:59

for years ago. I realized that

10:01

there is a big difference between. A confident that

10:03

self worth and attend became obsessed with setting

10:05

Southworth because you know for every single one

10:07

of us they talk about this in where

10:09

the a lot is that? seven in life

10:11

we don't become what we want, we become.

10:13

What We believe we're way the as. And

10:16

it's are self worth as are stealing.

10:18

A software as are ceiling and

10:20

sell. If we don't think were

10:22

worthy of something we will either

10:24

stay stuck, will find the way

10:26

to sabotage it or a best

10:28

case is will actually go for

10:30

did see that that was still

10:32

still unfulfilled and still feel like

10:34

we're not enough in the process.

10:36

So my real story as a

10:38

girl who has not believe sea

10:40

worthy most of her entire life

10:42

tried to really solve it with

10:44

things that still confidence which are

10:46

important but really it's been a

10:48

huge. A huge part of my last

10:51

three years of understanding Allow self worth

10:53

is really really different and I need

10:55

to learn how to build. Son has

10:57

I don't have a laugh at it.

11:00

That's. right? And. You do a

11:02

really lovely job of. Delineating

11:04

between the two in the but

11:06

and because right once an inside

11:08

job and one is more tied

11:11

to external and while both have

11:13

their place. Certainly. Self

11:15

worth is and not dependent on circumstances, and

11:17

that's the stuff that a last that's what

11:19

I see us through that that's what. Us

11:21

through. To be honest, I wonder if

11:24

you could talk more about. What?

11:26

You alluded to when you just said you sabotage

11:28

to lifelong dream three years ago which. Is

11:30

helpful only to the degree that

11:33

me those of us listening. Under

11:36

spending that. Why am

11:38

I doing what I am doing? Why

11:41

am I not doing what I wanted

11:43

to wire my sabotaging these beautiful things

11:45

that come my way and hearing you

11:47

sort of walk us through it from

11:49

your own personal perspective. Is

11:51

useful and helpful that it holds the the mirror.

11:54

Yeah. Anyone listening has ever like still the

11:56

you're stuck in you don't know why are you wrote

11:59

the book but you. And it out

12:01

or s year. Gotten a dating app

12:03

with. A new stuff like the or if you

12:05

know you you hit. A ceiling I use

12:07

advertise something Us whatever It might be

12:09

a you're not alone since and be.

12:11

This is such a big thing because

12:14

this was planning on the biggest Aha

12:16

moments in my entire life was that

12:18

oh my gosh there are said to

12:20

difference between a complex and southwest and

12:22

me not understanding the defense. Has.

12:24

Actually costs. Me decades, As

12:27

ceasing after the wrong see senators to

12:29

share this friendly lads who may be

12:31

like me and doesn't know the difference

12:33

for so many years is a killer

12:35

exactly he said sense of confidence is

12:37

lol an internal tree if it's in

12:40

which based on the external based on

12:42

how we assess Er skills and abilities

12:44

are willing to try and girlfriend how

12:46

much of the world's definition of success

12:48

the had, how we feel we stop

12:50

gap where compared to others say so

12:53

the boxer who wins us fight automatically

12:55

thirty percent more confident in. Our. Confidence

12:57

is fragile us and it's fluctuates

12:59

and it's It rises and

13:01

falls and it's delicate and are

13:04

self worth. Is. Different right

13:06

is that deep internal knowing and

13:08

belief that you are worthy of

13:10

love. And the Lonnie exactly as

13:12

you oxus are, Not as years

13:15

past mistakes and failures, not as

13:17

whatever successes us for exactly innately

13:19

answers you are has gone. On

13:22

to the. Most of us we

13:24

are raised getting these messages everywhere whether

13:26

it's from well and send his family

13:29

or commercials on television or whatever that

13:31

once we get that see then we'll

13:33

finally still and ask them will finally

13:35

feel happy with our the seized that

13:38

none of them actually. Build a

13:40

meat self worth. With. Is really

13:42

really different. Inner self worth is our

13:44

ceiling and so. And so

13:46

self worth right? Cause we can. We

13:49

can look to the world like were

13:51

discussing it everywhere with you know like

13:53

oh you must you know be so

13:55

happy with how fit see as look

13:57

at how kind see as look at

13:59

how. Whenever she has. But again

14:01

all those things are different than than

14:03

what we feel on the inside and

14:05

our own level of self worth and

14:08

self worth for anyone is like an

14:10

achiever a people pleaser are perfectionists. This

14:12

is really com and that's what is

14:14

it. Sleep dull for the scene we

14:16

a medium to high self worth rights

14:18

will get it. Would. Then we

14:20

have rather had it feeling still

14:23

like it is not enough, Like

14:25

we're not enough and we live

14:27

perpetually unfulfilled, were not able to

14:30

enjoy that things were pursuing. And

14:32

by the way, A

14:34

lot of marriages end this way or a

14:36

lot of these and as a wix someone

14:38

like I just like something's missing and they

14:40

think it's their partners and they don't. Really

14:42

that's because in already quit a job and

14:44

eighty something missing in the jobs. If the

14:46

downside beetle believe they are enough. And.

14:48

So they're looking for it everywhere. Off and

14:51

sell. This is a big thing is that

14:53

spurred the answer your question. From the time

14:55

I was a little girl, I. Would sit

14:57

in my living room and watch Oprah. Said

14:59

and Sea Ray and I just.

15:02

Hate San I just. I just

15:04

love. It For some

15:06

people there's hero with superman

15:08

or. Batman or Santa Claus?

15:11

For me it was Oprah. Growing up I

15:13

was at sit there every day was to

15:15

and was a. Day. And.

15:17

Been in meet her Wednesday night Laces

15:20

had this kind of feeling and I

15:22

dared to praise and believe it would

15:24

one day happened and. Stats

15:27

for it thirty nine years. And

15:29

is about celebrate my fortieth birthday. I

15:31

ended up meeting her at Nevada at

15:34

a really quick meeting. He. And

15:36

that was a really cool experience. Than.

15:38

A replay Very the I wish I had

15:40

said I were enormous. It's real her this

15:43

long. email. And sent it to her

15:45

sister, knowing it be one in a billion that

15:47

she'd read it's one in a billion seed showed

15:49

a breath when in a billion Over. Had read

15:51

it and when into billion over a chair? But

15:53

somehow all that happened and lo and

15:55

behold I get a phone call. And.

15:58

Obr invited me to have lunch with. Their

16:00

house. So. I'm like oh

16:02

my gosh, this is a life long

16:04

dream. H E. And and now this

16:06

is the important part though for everyone

16:08

listening. On. The outside it looked

16:11

like i hi i must be you

16:13

know a and had a lot of

16:15

self confidence because my businesses doing live

16:18

in a giving so much to causes,

16:20

added past and about everything on the

16:22

outside. Might. Look great! But.

16:24

On the inside A did not believe I was

16:27

in that I did not yet. Understand the

16:29

difference between self confidence and self

16:31

worth and so. I

16:33

go to have lunch with a we

16:35

have a three hour lox. I'm so

16:37

confident jan ads and use them introverted

16:39

but I'm like talking and so I'm

16:41

I'm you to funny what is the

16:43

mere that simulator let really last and

16:45

then at the very end of it

16:47

seats and and me her cell phone

16:49

number. And she said you could call

16:51

me anytime. Call. Me

16:53

anytime and san I.

16:55

Did not call her first. Four

16:58

years. Four.

17:00

Years and in and member. This

17:02

is my life. Hundred and enough

17:04

for your window. Also. Most

17:06

of toys that, oh. And this gonna wait

17:08

till I had the perfect thing to say. Works

17:10

and us You know everyone wants them from her.

17:12

They want a new car I'm and approve any

17:14

message like all these were it. Yeah. Four

17:17

Years goes by a real as the

17:19

real reason. That. I hadn't

17:21

called her was because deep down inside.

17:23

I didn't believe I was worthy of

17:26

beach or sand. And

17:28

are self worth is our ceiling and

17:30

so even know that was a lifelong

17:32

dream, I sabotaged the whole thing. And.

17:35

That day I realized that. which by the way

17:37

it was. Just a little over three years

17:39

ago. That. Day was when I

17:42

picked up the phone and called her.

17:44

And. Now is you know

17:46

you're sitting. Here talking like. She

17:48

and I did, of course together all these things.

17:51

But. It almost didn't hop. It's

17:53

because I almost doubt in my

17:55

cell right out of my own

17:58

destiny. and I have many. There

18:00

are times that many other things and for

18:02

every person like listening with you and I

18:04

right now. What? Has

18:06

happened or has almost not

18:09

happened or won't happen. If

18:11

you don't learn to believe you are worthy

18:13

of it. It's hinges everything

18:15

and I think, what's? Exciting

18:18

about it is that we have

18:21

agency over this. There's so

18:23

many external that aren't necessarily

18:25

up to us. some are,

18:28

but some words and circumstances

18:30

they add and they slow

18:32

and life lifestyle. But we

18:34

have agency. Over.

18:37

Our sense of our own self worth

18:39

which is exciting. This is within reach

18:41

of every him in person see your

18:43

point. And so you mentioned a couple

18:45

times in there about self dell. And.

18:48

Athletic Blake. Let's funnel into that.

18:51

The underside of this whole

18:53

conversation. That we can better

18:56

understand the path. Toward.

18:58

Worth. Towards self worth so

19:01

can you. Can. You

19:03

talk a little bit about. Why?

19:06

You see, Believing

19:08

in our own to inherit

19:10

worth cause we're human people

19:12

is so hard and what?

19:14

What are you saying And

19:16

I know this is we're

19:18

not ubiquitous, but with some

19:21

of that the Farm in

19:23

lies. That lead us to

19:25

just says doubt that we walk around with.

19:27

Every single day in and they ultimately

19:30

mail assessed the semen. I'm polyamorous excited

19:32

about this. Everyone is to yes I

19:34

did accuracy or fifteen or a hundred

19:36

and sixteen slice. It is never too

19:39

early, it's never too. Late. To.

19:41

Start to learn to the leader worthy

19:43

and to build some worth and yes

19:45

there is. You know when we talk

19:47

about lies there is where minute to

19:49

say is it and secluded lie that

19:51

some some a good place from so

19:53

many generations of women before us that

19:55

somehow self love as selfish and. The

19:58

problem with that age? He did you

20:00

look at all the study of the other data. We.

20:03

Cannot love that The deaths of love

20:05

and snacks and we can have with

20:07

another human being. Whether. It's a

20:09

partner France, our kids excedrin. It mirrors

20:11

the deaths of loving connection we have

20:13

with ourselves. That's right. So for someone

20:16

listening as as like oh well I'm

20:18

really good at loving everyone else placer

20:20

hate myself and the things I say

20:22

to myself all their lives. In my

20:25

head this is a really big deal

20:27

because. You. Can sell that they love

20:29

other people. Really well the

20:31

best you Karen but they will see

20:34

how you love yourself and that is

20:36

caught with our kids it's Cox said

20:38

with people around as. If.

20:40

You are. So when that prides herself

20:42

in being self lists and a giver

20:44

and you can't think about doing this

20:46

for yourself that you actually truly care

20:49

about other people said greatest guess you

20:51

can give other people it's to learn

20:53

to love yourself and to learn to

20:55

believe you are worthy because the deaths

20:57

of a lab that you are for

20:59

yourself. what expand the depth of love

21:01

you now have for that stat is

21:03

the greatest guess you could give for

21:05

them. And how this all and sports.

21:08

Oh my gosh, we all start learning

21:10

lies. That. Leads a self doubt

21:12

that leads us believing. We're.

21:14

Not enough some of the lies that

21:16

I talked about in here. There's a

21:18

whole chapter. You know, Self. Doubt

21:21

and fear. Her jackson failure kill

21:23

more dream than almost anything else

21:25

and I have a whole chapter.

21:27

In Here Club when you change your

21:29

relationship with rejects and you change your

21:31

entire lives. The I love that. I

21:34

have a real strong reaction. So

21:36

rejection as ours like. glad

21:38

she's read my diary? Yeah,

21:40

no good. The so powerful

21:43

tactile keep going. Yeah so many

21:45

this deal right Answer me this

21:47

believe like will get rejected I was

21:49

fail at something and that can seek

21:52

are confident within. A lot of us

21:54

have either recent are fast or jackson

21:56

failures works with actually let them.

21:58

Take a as a. Any level to the

22:01

point where we. Think we're i reject

22:03

or we're. As failure and bats and

22:05

it's six or so were. So.

22:07

It's so easy to let other people

22:10

as doubt about ask. Some. Add

22:12

turn into doubt in our own heads. And.

22:14

Just like how important this for that

22:16

not to the city I go into

22:18

like a. Whole floor per frame. I

22:21

can't How do you actually the sickness?

22:23

Wilde friend who inherited the percent but

22:25

honey. Lastly, embrace. Rejected.

22:27

Failure. In. The way where

22:30

it excites. You I know that's gonna

22:32

sound Wilde said I have alerts now I

22:34

Abyssinia is usable. I said fear of rejection

22:36

and failure is number one of them. I

22:38

get rejected almost every day spread. We all

22:40

deal in some way shape or form. Someone

22:43

doesn't invite us to coffee with the other

22:45

group and it hurts our feelings. Or if

22:47

you know we're trying to make friends as

22:49

an adult and we don't know why that

22:51

person doesn't see our value of the applied

22:53

for the job was so bad and she's

22:56

sitting. Get it. And there's so many. So

22:58

many ways this happened. But I go nc

23:00

these email. Understanding what's the current

23:02

meaning. Were assigned to the things. Are

23:04

current definition and they are You redefine

23:06

its and then also. In.

23:08

A Chapter four I talked about how you have greatest

23:11

inside you and. I am glad you are

23:13

saying kind words and I didn't hold back.

23:15

There were so many things here that I

23:17

have never shared in. This book is not

23:19

my. Story: This book is the story of

23:21

everyone reading it, but I just. I

23:24

wanted to share things that I

23:26

had carried so much seem around

23:28

because what I node speech I

23:30

know fresco fact is I do

23:33

not care how many past mistakes

23:35

are failures. Or. Thing is that

23:37

you feel ashamed for a regrettable

23:39

incidents. None. And then define

23:41

your worst they do not and it's

23:43

a lie that the deal and a

23:46

lot of us hold on to this

23:48

things that somehow de marseille than worthy

23:50

and and learning that lie that your

23:52

past somehow determines. Your future Or your

23:54

past. Somehow determines your work

23:56

at all allowed in hand side

23:59

deal as. That and then some

24:01

of that. There's a whole sexy called the

24:03

lies. One of them is called the lie

24:05

my weight. Impact. My worst.

24:08

The. Powerful chapter. They

24:11

talked about lake. Don't. Wait on

24:13

your we. I do not care what

24:15

your leaders but do not wait. Find

24:17

you are wait to leave Your best

24:19

life When you look at how eighty

24:21

Nine Percent right now is were talking,

24:23

eighty nine percent of girls and women

24:26

opt out of meaningful activities with loved

24:28

ones in their lives. Devastating, right? Because

24:30

they don't like how they look in

24:32

some way. shape or form and slaves.

24:34

A chapter about like. What has

24:36

a waiting. On. Your weight already

24:39

cost to you and your life. and

24:41

how for me it was. Decades.

24:44

That I missed out on in a

24:46

deli? Say yes to the invite to

24:48

the party or the high school reunion

24:50

or not, but not a swimsuit in

24:52

public? What's all this crap and a

24:54

task about. Decide. How

24:56

to unlearn that lie? And how high did

24:58

a male like a lot of the other

25:00

life as it only be seen when I'm

25:02

happy. So. Many as

25:05

I and this by the way, Millions.

25:07

Of when they can actually deal. Last

25:09

year see themselves through Eugene and I

25:11

think it's because you don't. Believe.

25:14

This lie with a lot of us do

25:16

you like a less only be seen on

25:18

a happy silt we suppress oliver other healthy

25:21

a motion to we think we're not worthy

25:23

of as sharing them are we set aside

25:25

show the real me. I won't be

25:27

last. And that is a lie

25:29

right? You look at all the data and

25:32

the that it's allies and because you still

25:34

have fully at that degrees who you are

25:36

It's why so many other women and people

25:38

think see this is bad because they can

25:40

connect with you but so many of us

25:42

are scared to do that We think oh

25:44

I'm in itself with my representatives every day

25:46

as the person I see people want me

25:48

to be. right? On social

25:50

media the people who still a who people

25:52

want me to be it at work or

25:55

in my friend group. Or. with

25:57

the other moms or at an email

25:59

at church. There aren't a problem

26:01

with that it every time. They.

26:03

Show up in ostensibly. Ray.

26:05

As someone we think is gonna make

26:07

everyone else happy. As a people pleaser

26:09

As I representatives, every time we do

26:11

that we are telling ourselves we're unworthy.

26:14

A. Big who is truly eyes and it

26:16

just slips away at our self worth.

26:18

Plus. It's impossible. To have

26:20

authentic connection with another human being

26:22

is impossible unless you know who

26:25

you are. And. So. We're.

26:27

Walking around China people please

26:29

everyone else. Showing. Up as

26:31

a representative. And then wondering why

26:33

was still so lonely and disconnected? When

26:36

what we crave is to the see

26:38

the be love to be understood that

26:40

we have this fear. That. If we should aware

26:42

who we are, we won't be. As. I

26:44

talk about and learning that why there's

26:46

some story but I'm on flight. I

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So. Many people, especially women, believe

29:40

this line. I don't deserve better.

29:43

The. Median and Sophie really since. And and.

29:45

Healthy. Spend. Sit. And. This

29:48

tax about. How to overcome that? Live.

29:50

Another. Life. I don't have anything special

29:52

to offer. Sure, How.

29:54

Many people oh my dust sense we think

29:56

like oh I have an idea that a

29:59

million people done. Way badly Need.

30:01

You now I don't have

30:03

anything special offers and. Let

30:06

is so. Beautiful

30:08

and powerful as if you.

30:11

Are. There is only one is

30:13

eel in the entire universe. Literally,

30:15

if only once. I S I

30:17

d How you have something special.

30:20

Yes, Yes yes I need a house

30:22

you know hi it cause metics like entered

30:24

the squad Adidas this a thousands of companies

30:27

it's at and they are they are also

30:29

had found this is than consumers. But.

30:31

At the end it a day if you

30:33

are Willie and then up truth what business

30:36

someone is and are wet space they're creating

30:38

an or with they're offering his into the

30:40

world where wet friendship group them whenever it

30:42

is If you're one of the brave ones

30:44

willing to serve as who you truly are.

30:47

It is impossible to say your ideas

30:50

already been done because if you're gonna

30:52

do your Id authentically to you, it

30:54

has never been done before. It's something

30:56

so not yet as simple as that

30:58

rates and and still. but but so

31:00

many of us speak oh I have

31:02

some anything special to offer that is

31:05

a lie says as they talk about

31:07

and then that like another one If

31:09

I. Stand out: I'll get kicked

31:11

out. And. This.

31:14

Is for people who speaks.

31:16

oh I I'd. Eat we

31:18

wanted demar like to sit in

31:21

right. Stay. Small with it went

31:23

to make anyone else feel uncomfortable. Always

31:25

had experiences. Works if we celebrate a

31:27

when other people are happy for us

31:29

death and so this goes into that

31:31

legs and then it went. I'm an

31:34

imposter and not enough on my own.

31:36

It's a real thing that. That's

31:39

really impacted us and so many ways. We think

31:41

that we don't have what it takes the that

31:43

we need somebody else. You know

31:45

you, You look at how I love Disney.

31:47

I love all of it And. We

31:49

know we, we see all the stories about. have

31:51

you know we need somewhere that's fine with

31:53

us and rescue us to given to live with

31:56

that or two a week us from sleep. Or

31:58

at sea rescue. It's happily ever after. And

32:00

then use that were a decade and

32:02

even though I'm mentor lot of women

32:04

and I'd sierras the mentors or my

32:07

life we learn and just happened every

32:09

day as all get emails from someone

32:11

say you know by business has some

32:13

it's potential but I just need a

32:15

mental as we grow up ck. That.

32:17

We're not enough on our own to make

32:20

own decisions in our ideas or business. We

32:22

now need see lamps, do everything based on

32:24

consensus, and we need someone else to tell

32:26

us. Vs securing our own intuition

32:28

and here in our own Millie And

32:31

the one thing I'll say I thought.

32:33

I'd share sit next to my girlfriends and

32:36

a friend and mentor. It's. So let's

32:38

add, even with all that, I was still

32:40

still true. I think the most important thing

32:42

we learned to do send filter that advice

32:44

through our own intuition. It's whether it's prayer

32:47

at a T Cynics address and go basle

32:49

right for me. And I think that this

32:51

is so important because so many of us

32:53

women we have learned Sprite that weeks. I

32:55

hear every single day that from people since

32:58

I don't even know how to hear my

33:00

own and she was many y ha, I

33:02

don't know how to hear it's and I

33:04

don't know how to trust. Or I trusted

33:07

at one. Time it It was wrong

33:09

And so deep in a book on

33:11

and how easy that and ourselves. I

33:13

believe your intuition is never wrong. I

33:15

believe it either leads you to the

33:17

next rights, Death or the next right

33:19

lessons. And and I just have a

33:22

piece of the trust in that sense. I talked

33:24

about that. the lie If I mean I won't

33:26

be last. Fan. We somehow

33:28

either to seek their permanent or.but they're

33:30

like posted notes that this era light

33:32

as she said we can remove of

33:34

we can replace them with and power

33:36

labels that he know. Our drew as

33:39

a Quincy's really starts a d The

33:41

work and understanding where are the labels

33:43

we have hundred thousand off the web

33:45

is having them on us. Cost.

33:48

Us and what will it cost

33:50

us? Five years. About said years

33:52

from now. If. We're still believing

33:54

these lies. When you imagine your

33:56

life and. The pain of that.

33:58

Is actually almost. All we have greater.

34:01

Than. The pain of oh well, if I go for it

34:03

now, fall. Flat on my face if that's

34:05

where the swimsuit not judge just the

34:07

pain of that is less smiled and

34:09

obscene of red rats. And. Sites and

34:11

a dive deep? A though it's how do you really.

34:14

Look. At that in your own life, right? Now

34:16

and in, what matters most. As.

34:18

You said been sealed. You know the person that

34:21

they are blind to be so he is. Not

34:24

so good. Yeah, yeah, I can't root.

34:26

Separate was but one of the quotes he put quotes

34:28

the beginning of every chapter for all. Kinds of people.

34:30

But whenever I'm with something like. Ah

34:33

I basically need to make this decision right

34:35

now because teacher me as depending on it

34:38

and I was like cool. I love that

34:40

I love thinking about future me and not

34:42

saddling her with regret, energy and or pink

34:44

is that he's the expert on regret the

34:46

he's like when he talked to most people

34:49

at the end their lives. About regret

34:51

and everybody has some the absolute

34:53

through line. The vast

34:56

majority. Of people. Regret

34:58

more with they didn't do than

35:00

what they did. Though it's

35:02

those things that we just put on herself

35:04

and go, I'm too afraid to try or

35:07

to go for it, and those are the

35:09

ones that stick to our bones. Turns out

35:11

at the end and so I just think

35:13

your advice is so right. And it's There's

35:16

so much advice in here, frankly and what

35:18

I love about the way that is. Written

35:20

word, The. And

35:22

just kind of food you. Are. As a leader

35:25

is that. You. Are

35:27

tackling these huge idea? the systemic

35:30

issues and narratives that had been

35:32

aimed at not just women, but

35:34

it securely been in. Years

35:37

the since with the they were born. And the

35:39

generation before us and the before

35:41

them. So these their these huge

35:44

cultural narrative that are big ships

35:46

to turn but you bring it

35:48

down. To where we

35:50

actually live in the real

35:53

world on the ground and

35:55

it's all little usable, incremental

35:57

nuggets of wisdom. Here are.

36:00

The thing to do here is a

36:02

really can double way to like replace

36:04

an idea in your head. To

36:07

instead of this, say this. It's it's all

36:09

like oh there it is. there's the path

36:11

because it can see all. So.

36:13

Daunting. To just

36:15

go develop self worth you know and

36:17

be will occur and then you're like

36:20

oh how I want to know how

36:22

and how can a wholly and hear

36:24

you and clear how it is in

36:26

here and is so. Available.

36:29

And it's not about how visible you

36:31

are or if you're famous or not,

36:34

or if you have a lot of

36:36

money or is everything's gonna wait for

36:38

your. If you were raised in an

36:41

ideal it childhood home, it's none of

36:43

that matters. That's not the thing it's

36:45

not. It really is not circumstances or

36:47

even station in life that has. It

36:50

matters. This. So.

36:53

Forth is available to every person. And

36:55

what a wonderful, true thing to

36:57

know. It's wonderful. Any do

37:00

a wonderful job of like holding

37:02

that out. In. Such

37:04

inaccessible. Tangible. Way and

37:06

not just leaving us to sort

37:08

of sort through ideas, but. Rather

37:10

hear looks, grub hands and walk through

37:12

this together. It's marvelous. Yeah and I

37:14

love what you just said because so

37:16

awesome Me: think old that person say

37:18

have so much wherever how can they

37:20

feel they're not in that's hardly see

37:23

some guilty they thought. It

37:25

was no matter how difficult your

37:27

past and no matter how. You.

37:29

Know. Perfect.

37:31

Looking your past. None of that

37:33

actually increases your chances of having

37:35

software. Because. It's so different stretched

37:38

over the so different and some confidence.

37:40

And C N N for anyone whether

37:42

you'd have an ideal childhood or as

37:44

a receipt childhood so many of us

37:46

are equally likely she'll to ask. The

37:48

still select were not enough on lands

37:51

were obvious no amount of money or

37:53

success or accomplishments are privileged. A site

37:55

none of that actually helps to build

37:57

software. None of it's not the finalists

37:59

in. Yeah, and that's what silks.

38:02

A. Seat in a be so big

38:04

because for any when he lived to

38:06

no matter what the deal is still

38:08

doubting there enough. Almost. Always

38:10

Jan they're trying to fill that void

38:12

with things that own adults of confidence.

38:15

And. It never gets you to that place

38:17

or fulfillment. Dancing similarly for the person

38:19

thinking as had me. too many mistakes.

38:21

Nice. I've had too many problems that

38:23

come from the right place and pray

38:25

the right way. I don't love the

38:27

right way. I'm from right family and

38:29

somehow and worthy. Ah that is a

38:31

lie as wow oh that is allowed.

38:33

Last and as I'm learning all of

38:35

these lies whether it's like oh, I

38:37

should have all these things I said

38:39

feel enough I hit my goal Weight

38:42

I said feel enough. Why lose my

38:44

age if I learned hurry. By am

38:46

a nurse Will I lose my as

38:48

it's like oh no sleep and higher

38:50

yourself worse because yourself with your ceilings

38:52

a higher yourself where it's a more

38:54

ambitious you becomes because you know even

38:57

if I go there it's I fail

38:59

As asked Lana my space. You.

39:01

Might your your cop and it my

39:03

seat for a minute but it kinda

39:05

sad yourself where history you become more

39:07

fearless. Because you know it does not

39:09

impact you and so it's the you inside

39:11

that's the real data for thing and

39:13

that's where self worth as much as. Which.

39:16

Is so different than Star Hop. and

39:18

it's and it's why we can. We

39:20

can meet someone and go Oh my

39:22

gosh, he's amazing and kind and awesome.

39:24

Spicy in that Toxic Relationship series has

39:26

deep down inside she may have everything

39:28

on the outside of she does not

39:30

believe she is worthy of it, acts

39:32

as a be loved well and does

39:34

it look for selfless? It? It isn't

39:36

that the I See Israel Foundation of

39:38

average space is how you walk into

39:40

a board room and think we're not

39:42

enough and we don't belong in the

39:44

room and all of the state. Use

39:46

And so it's just. And.

39:48

Enough for every gone. Every woman in every

39:51

person he says doubts your and that even

39:53

if you are really good at hiding. It

39:55

from the world him to me as

39:57

the one thing. That really does.

40:00

Abby think when you really build yourself

40:02

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B O L L. And branch.com

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see site for detail. I

42:33

want everyone to know that

42:36

you are a person of

42:38

integrity and you live what

42:41

you say and you. Embody

42:44

what you believe

42:46

and you are

42:48

donating. Every. Penny of

42:50

your author profits from this

42:52

book and it makes want

42:54

to cry like that is

42:56

so extraordinary and you are.

43:00

In every way. Like with your

43:02

leadership, with your influence with your

43:04

finances. Raising women

43:06

up. And

43:08

supporting. People and bridging

43:11

gaps if that means something.

43:14

It. Matters because you are

43:16

trustworthy person. And this

43:18

is real and this is your

43:21

real life. And that's evidence

43:23

you're not talking it. Reliving

43:26

it and so thank you for

43:28

being exactly who you are! This

43:30

book. Is available. It just came out. It's

43:33

a couple. Of weeks old in

43:35

the world and. Available

43:37

everywhere. Are you sending people anywhere specific to

43:39

get it? or just wherever they get their

43:41

books? Yeah. And eighty By

43:44

the way you know I'd have to

43:46

say you are still ahead of everything.

43:48

Skins were the right now as you

43:50

know talking It's been a things aunts

43:52

and so you got where the first

43:54

in near but class and right now

43:56

Amazon is. Allison sold out Barnes and

43:58

Noble Target for their. Restock that

44:00

when you look at their the publishers

44:02

in the fifth print rents and it

44:05

Wow. No one could have anticipated this.

44:07

but why it's happening I think is

44:09

that real women. Are getting yet and

44:11

they're. They're freaking out as and they're

44:13

spreading the word and they're telling people about

44:15

it And I still so grateful for that

44:17

because yeah and for me this as I'm

44:19

donating Lucky with that on all may proceed

44:21

hundred percent of my proceeds of Feeding America

44:24

where thirty three percent as single mom households

44:26

have food insecurity. So we donated Millions and

44:28

meals are to in the first. First.

44:30

Few weeks but the real sting of a

44:33

just oh my gosh, I just know that

44:35

the i'm so passionate us oh the answer

44:37

question. Where the but.com Where the bus.com has

44:39

all the places that have it is often

44:41

outside or selling books by or anything else

44:43

on my website but it will lead. Kids

44:45

are the places and then there's a free

44:47

work but which by the way. This.

44:49

Is wild and I know he's experienced this

44:51

as an author, but I did a work

44:53

but that's completely free. On. Where The book.com

44:56

and those with this. But. The

44:58

day the book launch there are hundreds as an

45:00

authorized work but on Amazon Yes, very weird and

45:02

one of them was on the best seller list

45:04

and I'm like so weird I didn't write these

45:06

so I just say that because the one a

45:08

mixer no one buys when it as a distinct

45:10

that I wrote it that I didn't and when

45:13

that we just three. but. The. Thing

45:15

I'm most excited about is just. Like.

45:17

Because I just believe it will rise

45:19

to what we believe. It's possible we fall

45:21

what we believe a word. He added every

45:23

area and the moment. A person

45:25

learns to beliefs is worthy that is

45:27

the moment and healthy relationships and Orcs

45:30

and how these benefits and little ideas

45:32

or birth or sans are raised an

45:34

art is shared with the world and

45:36

I just feel a to me embrace

45:39

silly are and me and we Burmese

45:41

were worthy of it like it feels

45:43

like joy a t side freedom and

45:45

and that is the thing I'm just

45:47

so past and about and. Said.

45:50

Something thrill out of might share over right now

45:52

because that is that this book is all about

45:54

and I just want to beat you so much.

45:57

You. Are always. I had it as though.

46:00

That habit first even before exclusive the

46:02

to you before and hit stores this

46:04

isn't a favor by club started and

46:06

I just I just wanna say thank

46:08

you for for that and for. Believing

46:10

in me and for just loving people

46:12

in women. So wow it's an honor

46:14

to be part of this of the

46:16

as the Beach Yes yes I have

46:18

just. Respected. And

46:21

admired you and loved you now

46:23

since the day I met you.

46:25

And so what a joy to

46:27

have you to our little book

46:29

club and thus we insist. Are

46:31

throwing her arms around your message and

46:33

your leadership and and is thrilled for

46:35

you! And I'm excited! For what this is gonna

46:38

mean for women, And. For all your

46:40

readers, Thrilled for you cited and

46:42

I'm so thankful that Iran today. By

46:44

the way, everybody I'm still at you

46:46

know this at the very tell and.

46:49

Jamie. Has the flu. Says

46:52

see like that low the

46:54

he just deliver It is

46:56

high energy highly engaged lake.

46:59

In Susie asked it interview.

47:02

Sick. As a done so.

47:04

Thank. You for just powering through on

47:07

him for paid sake. I did a

47:09

book. Signing and it went. Six dollars in

47:11

my home meals you play. Had this experience

47:13

but when you bear news is that had

47:15

been on people to were crying all over

47:17

me. Oh yeah shared stories and I cannot

47:20

leave life. Stayed until eaten berries

47:22

and they ended up be over

47:24

six hours. Cel mai in here

47:26

and I'm honored and I'm grateful

47:28

and so excited! Like this means so

47:30

much to me that you're staring radio

47:32

everybody and I'm just and married a

47:34

piece on the He for hobbies. You're

47:36

welcome. You're welcome. The

47:40

For The Love Podcast for Ten

47:42

Hatmaker as a presentation of Odyssey

47:44

and produced by For I The

47:47

Media with Laura Nights link producer

47:49

or the Seasons Production Director Gregory

47:51

Demario production Assistants and More and

47:53

Winfield researcher. Odyssey's executive producers are

47:56

Gen Y Sperm and and Leah

47:58

Reese Dennis Special thanks to the

48:00

Team Odyssey More A current Melissa

48:02

Western Mack Casey, Kate Hutchinson Spirit

48:05

Donnelly, Erin Constant He no her

48:07

Courtney and Hillary Shop, Listen and

48:09

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48:11

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48:14

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48:16

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48:29

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