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Post. Of the for the love

2:52

cats will come to the so I'd smiley

2:55

and of you could hear me smiling or

2:57

for your over on you tube you can

2:59

see me smiling but. I.

3:01

Just as a says interview and. And

3:04

yes, Delighted by

3:06

it. An energized by Ed

3:08

and inspired by at. I

3:12

love this girl! Were. Continue

3:14

their series on matriarchy, And

3:16

pretty much to do and a

3:19

deep dive into. The.

3:21

Power of beauty and the

3:23

resilience of women who are

3:25

leading. And. Inspiring and shaping

3:27

our world. I said that's all that's

3:29

all we're trying to do here. This

3:32

is a celebration of

3:34

the string and the

3:36

wisdom in determination of.

3:39

Oh why, But consider some of our

3:41

most. Beautiful. Matriarch

3:43

right now. And I mean

3:45

that in the most honoring

3:47

way. The women who are

3:49

showing us. A path

3:51

to were lighting it up with their

3:54

own lanterns. in their own lives, in

3:56

their own choices and. Today

3:58

we have a truly X. Urinary

4:00

Guest really like in every

4:02

way. We have both armor.

4:05

Bizarre. Miss a Shine as here today and if

4:08

you. Know. Where you know or if you love

4:10

her, your lover. Millions. Of

4:12

us do for a reason. Osama is

4:14

not just a corporate power house, is

4:16

literally a force of nature. Is.

4:19

He is a absolute trailblazers.

4:21

She has shattered glass ceilings.

4:23

She has defied expectations she

4:26

has exemplified on a personal

4:28

level what it just takes

4:30

to keep going after. Tragedies.

4:34

Rock. Your world. She is

4:36

the epitome of this

4:38

series. Truly bizarre. my

4:41

face. The. Loss of her husband,

4:43

the cancer when she had just a four

4:45

year old. She's navigate the. Complexity of

4:47

a single motherhood. She.

4:50

Learns and just absolutely embrace

4:52

life with courage with resilience.

4:54

As a fully realized woman,

4:56

I've been watching her and

4:58

learning from her fourth years,

5:00

our first touch point with

5:03

years ago when I began

5:05

going wait a minute. I

5:07

respect her. I admire her see

5:10

his her own selves both. Summer

5:12

is her own self. She is

5:14

at the very very top of

5:17

the ladder. Like. In

5:19

a corporate success space. But

5:21

in all areas of her

5:23

life, she is her. She

5:25

is uniquely her. see his

5:27

powerfully her and I been

5:29

obviously drawn to that some.

5:31

just in case you don't

5:34

know her work, she is.

5:36

A groundbreaking business leaders, she's

5:39

lead marketing. Or

5:41

mega companies. I'm not sure if you've

5:43

heard of any of them and I'm

5:45

in lead Marketing, Chief marketing Officer. To

5:48

see a mouse Apple. Netflix.

5:51

Cooper. Pepsi? sort

5:53

of. You've heard of that mess.

5:56

Seized. Nominated several times over

5:59

for her amazing work, But

6:01

I mean she was just

6:03

recently inducted into the Marketing

6:05

Hall of Fame. She's.

6:08

Won so many awards I literally

6:10

cannot list them all. One of

6:13

my favorites is that in Twenty

6:15

Twenty one she was crowned by

6:17

Forbes. The World's

6:20

most influential Cml. Beyond.

6:23

That. Both. Arm

6:25

as she's a passionate advocate for

6:27

diversity for inclusion. She uses Harper

6:29

her power and her platform. She's

6:31

expanded her service Outside of the

6:34

now she has been named as

6:36

an Ambassador for the African Diaspora

6:38

Special envoy to the President of

6:40

Gonna which is where she was

6:42

born and raised in the U

6:44

and she is to special really

6:47

on every level and I don't

6:49

care he worked this conversation is

6:51

going to move you. we are

6:53

in the the ducks. In the

6:55

bones of real life. Today we are

6:57

talking about Spiegel Woman. In

7:00

this world and what strength means

7:02

and what resilience means what last

7:04

looks like would single parenting lists

7:06

like like this is the A

7:08

human conversations and I mean she's

7:10

at the top. But if ever

7:12

you like to watch any of

7:14

the episodes sets over on my

7:16

youtube channel and. Both. Hum

7:19

It is hard to like. Stunning.

7:22

As beautiful human, this conversation will

7:24

be a really fun ones her

7:26

to watch with your eyeballs, but

7:28

otherwise. Enjoy this.

7:30

Discussion. Lucky me

7:33

to have yet another conversation with the

7:35

absolutely wonderful spills on the St. John.

7:45

I'm delighted to see of. I'm delighted

7:47

to see you. I. Just

7:50

look forward to any minute I ever get

7:52

to talk to you and so happy Or

7:54

here. Thank. You I'm so

7:56

glad to be here! Is a delight in

7:58

I. Love all the conversations. You have

8:00

a feel like there's just so feel. And

8:02

that sounds corny, because everybody wants to be

8:05

real these days, you know, But.

8:07

It's actually very difficult thing to.

8:09

Do. It. Is absolutely.

8:12

Difficult. To be that

8:14

real to ask the questions to, the

8:16

answers said. Speak your mind and so

8:18

I just appreciate the space that you've

8:20

created. With. The lap That kind of

8:23

honesty and truth and mess. You. Know

8:25

that we we are So thank you

8:27

Hm. That's a nice thing to say

8:29

and it's true. Like one thing we

8:32

figure out as women. In

8:34

whatever degree of spotlight, There's.

8:36

Like a real and that put him

8:38

in quotes that it kind of reward

8:41

it because it doesn't threaten the story

8:43

at all. and then there's a real

8:45

real this different that would cause hard

8:48

and there's a cost to it and

8:50

it's disruptive. So that's a

8:52

harder level for sure. into harder

8:54

level. And you're so right Because

8:56

the idea that you can be

8:58

real without threatening is actually than

9:00

what makes people feel. Like oh, you

9:02

know what? That must be easy. It's fine. If

9:05

when you touch with men people. Or.

9:07

Me: Uncomfortable with your real

9:09

mess. Or owners.

9:12

That. Then his side. You know the

9:14

bleep hits the same because you just

9:16

like oh my god. And that

9:18

is what I mean. By like it's difficult

9:21

to be real. it is up and

9:23

somebody. Sees. All.

9:26

It is energy believe me as I don't walk

9:28

into rooms and is this at all fanfare all

9:30

the time? Although that. Would.

9:32

Be. But. We'll talk about

9:34

that later. We know it

9:36

should be one of my

9:38

north stars when I am.

9:41

A feeling like a disruptor. Or.

9:44

It isn't all fanfare as he say what

9:46

can into room is the question they asked

9:49

myself. Is or a school.

9:51

And my ascending and that hims

9:53

to be an indicator of I'm

9:56

either in the right path of

9:58

the wrong path we. I'm

10:00

offending people in power When I'm

10:02

offending keepers of the status quo.

10:05

When I am offending people who

10:07

would prefer me not to change

10:09

or evolve or question the system.

10:12

I'm okay with that. I have

10:14

got it wrong when I have

10:16

stepped wrong, and I'm offending people

10:18

on the margins when I'm offending

10:21

my compatriots. A my or oh. I.

10:23

Got this one wrong? I can choose who

10:25

to offend and that said really tells me.

10:27

I'm. And if I'm on the right path or not, You're.

10:30

Absolutely right. About that you know

10:32

and look. Yes, agreements. Speak.

10:35

Enough a you. Have walked into many

10:37

a room. And

10:39

been. in your full.

10:42

Power. In your

10:44

full authority with. All

10:46

of your credentials and

10:49

your expertise and you

10:51

burned it. And not

10:53

surprisingly, not everybody likes

10:55

that all the time.

10:57

So. You're. At intersections

10:59

can we just start here? Where does the

11:01

which is jump right in the middle of

11:03

the most is are hey. What's

11:06

going on here? Can you are just for

11:08

a minute before we drill into some of

11:10

these ideas. Tell. My listeners

11:12

the ones who inhabit don't already know you in

11:14

a lot of them deal some billions of us

11:16

value for reasons but who don't this kind of

11:19

your deal destroy your at peers. Are people here

11:21

for thing. Yes, Okay,

11:23

well. How. Do I describe

11:25

myself as a really. One. You

11:27

don't? I mean self proclaimed bad ass. Me:

11:30

For people were using bad as them for

11:32

like you know The funny thing is like

11:34

you know I've said it because. It

11:37

was so different. Was.

11:39

Someone who's in corporate America in

11:41

high level positions. To.

11:44

Call themselves a name like that.

11:47

You. Know and he being at

11:49

the top of companies like

11:51

Pepsi and Apple an Ember.

11:54

Endeavor and Netflix. Meant.

11:56

That I had to appear a

11:58

certain way. The I

12:00

would offend people out more on that.

12:02

What was that? A it's what was

12:04

that expectation. This is a really difficult

12:06

to talk about. It really is. You know, I.

12:10

Am. Obviously. A black woman. I.

12:12

Think there were many people and are many people

12:15

who think I should just be grateful. Or.

12:18

The Trinity. For. The

12:20

position. For. The Pack for the

12:22

money. They. Think I should be grateful.

12:25

And. Walked in with gratitude. And

12:28

utility quote unquote. And

12:30

I will say to you it's like when

12:32

you were talking about who to offend. I

12:35

actually pause it on have you thought? But

12:37

I pods though because as let me think

12:39

about that because. If I'm being

12:41

totally honest and. Transmit it breaks

12:43

my heart because sometimes.

12:46

It was not just people in power. Is

12:49

the books on T. My.

12:53

Colleagues. You.

12:56

Know people who. Should.

13:00

Have been cheering me on. Who

13:02

did it? Who. Told

13:05

me that I'm to that. Told

13:08

me that. I'm too outlandish.

13:11

And that is all wrapped up in you know

13:13

the idea of like old? You should just be

13:15

grateful to be here. You know that when you

13:17

other one of one. Or

13:20

one of you. It's

13:22

the oddest thing people really think they

13:24

use a just be so happy to

13:26

be in the space, be allowed in

13:28

the space station do a happy. You.

13:31

Know and instead. I would

13:34

stop myself. You. Know

13:36

and. Even. More

13:38

painfully. Last. Year. I

13:41

released my. Memoir of the Earth which

13:43

can talk about late but right after

13:45

I published said you know is like

13:47

that I came off the high of

13:50

by doing the bookstore and all that

13:52

stuff. I had been out of corporate

13:54

for about a year and a half

13:56

left my chief marketing job. At.

13:58

Netflix to publish my. And if I

14:00

my book and publish it. And I called

14:02

a friend. Who. I really

14:04

respect to the entrepreneur. And.

14:07

I was asking her and there's not a lot of people.

14:09

Can call and ask for really advice from

14:11

don't when you're in the space is very

14:13

few people can trust with your body. And

14:16

I have also. You know over the years

14:18

have found it very difficult to be. Totally

14:21

vulnerable people cause you know folks will use

14:23

it against you So. Any case,

14:25

very little circle, but I called one. Who.

14:28

I trust and asked her

14:30

how she doing it. you

14:32

know how see. Turned.

14:35

Into the Entrepreneur this year's you could as considering

14:37

like maybe I don't want to go back to

14:39

the corporate. Space mean I want to keep going.

14:41

You know, in this direction I'm not quite what.

14:44

And she said to me that. Well

14:47

that's that's really good. You can. But.

14:49

You're going to have to get. Paid.

14:54

She. Did you know

14:56

look frivolous? And

14:58

new hobby too much. And

15:01

you know you're wearing bikinis and your

15:03

boobs or out. It.

15:05

Should cover up if you want

15:07

to be in the spaces and

15:09

it just knocked me off? I

15:12

bet is it because. You. Know

15:14

see the person who is very much out

15:16

women's empowerment like google Google logo, jazz girls

15:18

you know and it was something to because

15:20

you both of my friends. And

15:23

I was like way whole line like do

15:25

you mean. The. Just because I

15:27

pop bottles. You

15:30

forgot that. I also have advised

15:32

the Clintons and the Obamas and

15:34

the Bite. Did I

15:36

get the top of who are

15:39

global companies as a chief officer?

15:41

You from thought that I'm inducted. Into the Parking

15:44

Hall Of Fame. You. Forgot that

15:46

I'm also a single mother to a fourteen year

15:48

old girl at. My husband died of cancer and

15:50

I still when. You. Forgot. Don't

15:54

dare you tell me. The.

15:56

To cry myself. In

15:59

order to be. That the after all of

16:01

that. And

16:03

it reminded me that. It

16:06

is a constant. Conversation.

16:09

For. Me: And. For

16:11

people who look at me. To.

16:13

Always have to rule them. Fit.

16:16

It's okay for us to be a full self.

16:19

This is my game. When we say

16:21

ring a bell south it is difficult.

16:23

It is dangerous. And.

16:25

You can look around you and there are people

16:27

around. You who don't believe you should be able to do

16:30

that. Was like

16:32

how dare you. Tell

16:34

me over here to do it. But I can't do

16:37

it. And so

16:39

that's why I say that. It.

16:43

Is Not. An. Easy.

16:47

Thing. To do. When.

16:50

You say? oh shoppers, your for self

16:52

ring on your Gp Exactly who you

16:54

are is dangerous people keep. Yeah the

16:56

rules for that people hate to quietly

16:58

for that. People. Look

17:00

like a channel for you but as would be my groceries

17:03

and even do that. On the side. That

17:06

is what the reality of the situation is.

17:09

It. Really is and you

17:11

highlight a really interesting.

17:14

Kind of heartbreaking reality which

17:16

is that a lot of

17:19

times in our generation as

17:21

we are. Really

17:23

pushing toward. Pay

17:26

equity and it's. Power

17:28

Differential and are all the

17:30

things that have kept women

17:32

historically. Been grateful

17:34

for the crumbs at the

17:36

table. And this is of

17:38

course, absolutely true that we

17:40

spent a lot of time

17:42

discussing and dissecting and confronting

17:45

the patriarchy. But the patriarchy

17:47

has a partner is devastating.

17:49

In a lot of times,

17:51

it's women. and it's women

17:53

against women. And it's women

17:55

who would. Enforce

17:57

the norms. It. Even if we

17:59

are. In our friends you know less

18:01

and go with if you just would

18:03

wear a bikini. Why? Why?

18:06

Why? Why?

18:10

Why? It's and so the

18:13

patriarchy have a as a

18:15

partner in women to are

18:17

willing to. Box. One

18:19

another in and say. That's a

18:21

bridge too far. With Jet.

18:25

And amazing thing is it's like you know

18:27

and love that you said the partner in

18:29

Patriarchy because we have to recognize that. And

18:32

we have the call of and I did

18:34

call it out. He did. yeah I did

18:36

because I didn't do it in the moment

18:38

though. so hurt Jenna Direct phone and I

18:41

write i'm sorry but real hot tears by

18:43

just. Ride. At

18:45

least question myself. You.

18:48

Know had to. I

18:51

didn't say. That they get

18:53

this straight because now I'm sanded down and look

18:55

you have a com us have a bad ass

18:57

with as not all the time. I

18:59

won't lie and pretend like there's and doubt that creeps

19:01

in my mind. Sometimes I'm just. In

19:03

so that one time when I was dancing like.

19:06

that too much put on internet. I

19:10

questioned our life time I says that must

19:12

say so have asked that question could move

19:14

a little tough. Fight. As

19:16

I don't question so. And

19:18

in getting the affirmation.

19:20

From another francis agree but a set up. Get

19:23

off this phone and go like those fears. You.

19:25

Know and I was like oh, snap to

19:27

the phone and call home girl back. And.

19:30

I was I say look I wanna talk. About

19:32

this because I would you says metaphor makes

19:34

are you know what it is it she

19:36

said to me. And.

19:39

With that, one of those moments where suffice, Oh My.

19:41

god, Why didn't. Mean to say that like bad or

19:43

a death of when I met his sister I'm concerned

19:45

about you just missed that. The death. And

19:47

in that moment again I realize

19:50

that you know when we talk

19:52

this way. Sometimes.

19:55

It really is our subconscious. All the stuff

19:57

that we've learned. Growing.

19:59

Up. You know all of the words that

20:01

have been said. Swear to tell us the tone

20:04

it down to tell us sustain our place, to

20:06

tell it to be grateful for. The spaces were

20:08

in that you don't even realize. That.

20:10

Those are the word that you're saying that are inflicting

20:12

on somebody else. And so very much

20:15

like the way I see racism. Or

20:17

sexism? homophobia that.

20:20

You. Are just repeating

20:22

things that have been embedded seeds?

20:25

In. Your mind is the with my Dad. Are you set?

20:27

The staff? Who. Need

20:29

it The and women. Are

20:31

you races? know what he time? I have

20:33

black friends along with my daughter. Teachers are. You.

20:37

Don't like all of these things that

20:39

we say and so when we recognize

20:42

that in a friend. We.

20:44

Have to call it out. We. Have to

20:46

tell that to. This is not just

20:48

about getting on a stage or platform

20:50

or one on a march and saying

20:52

no Down with the Patriarchy Know down

20:54

the racism. And

20:56

you have to address them. That is

20:59

hard to do because you recognize. How

21:01

much they love you? or how much they

21:03

respect you? But they still. Want. To

21:05

say some. this sounds crazy. And

21:08

so for me, that has probably been the

21:10

hardest thing. Is. To correct.

21:13

People. Who have direct access to

21:15

me? Who. Have a straight

21:17

into my heart. Who can bring

21:19

me down a peg are too. Because.

21:21

They are repeating things that are called

21:23

as taught them. And then how do I

21:25

continue to? Defend myself against it back his

21:28

actual battle. That where it. Gets.

21:32

Interesting as. I'm listening to

21:34

talk. I'm thinking I'm turn in

21:36

the mirror inside. The some

21:39

of the interior worker hopelessness issue because.

21:43

It's easy and it's It's not expensive

21:45

to just say yarmouth him in as

21:47

yes, I'm an anti racists. I'm an

21:49

allied to my Belgium France, but.

21:52

It. It's also interesting. To note

21:55

where our. Power.

21:58

And our proximity. The power. That's

22:00

because. It's

22:02

almost an innate. Instinct.

22:05

To protect our. Privilege.

22:09

Whatever. It is whether or me

22:11

of why so I have instant

22:13

access to that privilege. Whether it's

22:16

socio economically or it's racial, or

22:18

it's gendered or whatever it is,

22:20

we all have access somewhere which

22:22

could be a blind spot. Deep

22:24

ties, Privilege.

22:26

Is. It's a

22:28

reliable enemy of equality.

22:32

Reliable. And it is.

22:34

It is sometimes insidious the ways

22:36

the links will go to protect

22:38

it because we're benefiting. Were

22:41

benefiting. Still, Even if we

22:43

would say no and I'm I'm out

22:45

in front of this is possible that

22:47

you get on a call with. Your

22:49

girlfriend who you love was

22:51

powerful. And resilience. And you

22:53

take her down. And not because

22:56

you're protecting those areas. it's. It.

22:58

Can happen. And it does happen. It

23:00

happens all the time to be open

23:02

to. The. Correction.

23:06

And. Times you become so defensive of

23:08

the position. That. It's hard to

23:10

be open to the correction. And that

23:12

is. A. Area where it's like

23:14

the mirror attorney inside of By be open

23:16

to the correction. You. Know all right

23:18

on time and yes he has it

23:20

been intense as we. Guess what? your

23:23

results. Were. Damaging. As

23:26

always, impact matters more than

23:28

intense. As always fascinated with

23:30

I want to talk about.

23:33

Some. Of the various.

23:36

The Reds that have. Turned.

23:39

You created in New.

23:42

The qualities that you possess, The

23:44

reason that you can. Sexual.

23:47

In actually say I am a bad ass

23:49

new have had strict. Built into your

23:51

life the way that it's typically belt

23:54

which a sheet the system boat which

23:56

is their suffering. Hate that hate that

23:58

I wish it was just. Happiness

24:00

and joy that made us into

24:02

bad asses. Turns out.

24:05

A. Lot of it is the

24:07

places that we have lost and

24:09

suffered and greens and had to

24:12

rebuild and reimagine. It's can you

24:14

talk a little bit about how

24:16

you can pick from a zillion

24:18

spite you had paid and you've

24:21

struggled and wonder if you can

24:23

just put that in as a

24:25

backdrop. For my

24:27

listeners to understand. This

24:30

would not have handed to you. Oh.

24:33

Yes, Yes, hard one. Part

24:35

of one. And. That's

24:38

what I even start. You're right. It's like a

24:41

zillion places to start, right? You.

24:43

Know and something that I've learned a long. I.

24:46

Would say in the last like year

24:48

since I published my book is that

24:50

often sensible want to compare grief. You.

24:53

Know they wanna say like suffered more

24:55

than me or alive our haven't had.

24:57

in which you gone through so for

24:59

you know and it always bothers. Me

25:01

because I'm just like this is Not this. You.

25:04

Know it, You'll have to have had the

25:06

same losses I've had or like suffered the

25:08

same way I've sought. To.

25:11

Prove that you are worthy of

25:14

the scars that should bear. You.

25:17

Have them and it's okay with all.

25:19

it's that even when compared to somebody else

25:21

is car that's. Bigger. Than

25:24

you know my girlfriend Chris and cause

25:26

it's the suffering Olympics to like. There's

25:28

no winners, the zero gold medalists. We

25:31

need a trademark that have a sense

25:34

of regular. Because he and it's

25:36

amazing to me because. He.

25:39

Knows you're right. bet I witnessed. I certainly

25:41

was and look I've had many houses my

25:43

god about this return. Same. I.

25:45

Could mine. You. Know some

25:48

lessons or that I could. You.

25:50

Know feel deeper or that I

25:53

could be more resilient. Not.

25:56

Some suffering. Know. If I saw

25:58

of them just by lot. Have I not alone? The

26:00

not like it's Well, I think I'll

26:02

pass this particular glass or really wants

26:04

a pottery please? You don't? I mean.

26:07

Yeah, he set aside. Is

26:10

the reason why I wrote my book Birds

26:12

and Life Because. I had already.

26:14

You know, like I said, achieved all of

26:16

the same record or already been in that

26:19

sense a half a might already been to

26:21

see among several companies that are ready like

26:23

that. Somebody's gotten so many accolades and all

26:25

of that. and the book that people wanted

26:28

me to write was like how to be

26:30

a bad ass one on one. Get

26:33

into the corner. sweet girl. You

26:35

don't have your boss. six. Flags.

26:38

That were going on Doing that. I'm I'm not

26:40

doing stuff because. I don't think it's worthy in

26:42

cook the books that have been written like that.

26:44

Kudos you! Great job. But I thought

26:46

it was more important for me to write

26:49

about. I am this way. You

26:51

don't to document the. Events

26:54

in my life. This have led to

26:56

this point. And that is

26:58

why I don't like to participate in

27:01

the suffering Olympics because I'm like look

27:03

everybody has gone through something you know

27:05

just because. I I can

27:07

talk about my college

27:09

boyfriends. Death. By suicide.

27:12

Or. The of my first daughter because

27:14

of pre o'clock am Cia and having

27:16

her die the same day the she

27:19

was born or my husband's battle with

27:21

cancer that was only six months. Before.

27:24

He died yes I can talk about

27:26

although those things in the lessons I

27:28

learned from that. But the greater lesson

27:30

is that every time I have com

27:32

against. A

27:34

loss. Of grief. Whether.

27:37

That was the loss of a human. Or.

27:40

That was a loss of a

27:42

job. Or. A haiku

27:44

aggression or a macro aggression. Or.

27:48

At the day I walked into my daughter's

27:50

elementary school in there were like oh, where

27:52

is the baked goods You supposed. To bring and

27:54

I was I would be good. I. Miss

27:56

the email or my back and has. A month

27:58

of the push you don't. It makes a

28:00

run back to the school with his you know

28:02

but the cookie. All of

28:05

those things. Are. The.

28:08

Reason why I am who I am.

28:10

And I'm living my life in a

28:12

way which. Is in

28:15

defiance. Of

28:17

these tragedies and losses

28:19

in Greece. I'm

28:22

absolutely the finance. You

28:24

look at me like all this woman's

28:26

fierce bosses. that is tenants. You know

28:28

what? You're seeing is it is not.

28:31

Business is defiance. I visited. Fierceness.

28:34

His eyes. Yes, I'm Q. And

28:37

I know it and everybody get

28:39

outta my way. And I was

28:41

laid down, no money to finance.

28:43

It is like you pushed me down. I

28:45

stood up and look teaching the that is

28:48

defined. That's. Where them by. Side.

28:50

You try to tell me that I couldn't climb

28:53

the ladder the way that I am. I am

28:55

the fight against that I was. So you. What

28:57

can. You. Wanted to tell me

28:59

that because my husband died of cancer,

29:01

I'm supposed to sit down and be

29:03

afraid of life. And supposed to

29:05

get some. I feel Love love I am

29:08

defiance. In. That face. Everything

29:10

that has happened to me. I am

29:12

a defiant person and so the bad

29:15

as this shows up in that way.

29:17

And so yes I will be on the yacht.

29:20

Have them bottles in my bikini.

29:23

Okay, Cause I am defying is

29:25

against the image that I I'm supposed to

29:27

show up in a gray suit with my

29:29

say are tied back. And

29:31

say nice words the people Because that's

29:33

what they expect. Of a Hall

29:35

of Fame inductee Marketer? Absolutely not and

29:38

completely different. Shout.

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download the app today. You.

31:18

Got a brand of strength that is. Different

31:21

from what is easy just to lay down on

31:23

a page like. You He spoke

31:25

recently about. Your

31:28

strength not necessarily meaning

31:31

hard. And like

31:33

rigid you talked about that

31:35

street can be pliable and

31:37

a. Shortlist of

31:39

this: It's if you have fun Side

31:42

to silly side, the fierce side the

31:44

smart side that loving said, the tinder

31:46

side like there is a strength and

31:48

that I'd like to hear you talk

31:51

a little bit more about that sense.

31:53

Of pliable and flexible string being

31:56

actually stronger than the hard rigid

31:58

kind. Yes, Yes, Yes! What

32:00

other com face as having with lovey a

32:02

guy jones who we both know. A

32:06

lot of them. Her. Oh My.

32:08

God sees the great. It.

32:10

Came about because. I

32:12

think yet again I just felt so exhausted.

32:15

By. The thought that.

32:18

Strains. Is

32:20

determined by how are you can

32:22

be. Una. Mean

32:25

that I felt that com. And definition

32:27

and understand that you must be

32:29

hard. At there.

32:31

Is. A

32:34

certain unbreakable. Miss. About

32:37

strength but you have to have Nord for

32:39

some ice it will. She's a strong know

32:41

a thing brought her down you know and

32:43

it's just so much. Stronger.

32:48

To be able to so the

32:50

vulnerability. That. Allows

32:53

you to release, feel,

32:56

All the impact. And.

32:59

Then bounce back. You.

33:01

Know it's like when you're watching like a

33:03

superhero movie. Him. And

33:05

yet prices impressive when that like laser

33:07

disc the laser at the superhero in

33:09

it hits them in the chest and.

33:11

They just stand there like you know,

33:14

But. Don't sue feel a little more

33:16

excited. For the superhero. Who gets like

33:18

knock back onto the wall. And

33:21

then sand. That. That's what would

33:23

are. You know me? So

33:26

it's like use I flew. By then you

33:28

but you can feel it. You. Can feel

33:30

my youth a bad move. You know you

33:32

cringe like oh my god actively the I

33:34

hit so hard the miraculous. Say.

33:37

Why blast the dust off their

33:39

space? And the. On

33:41

their hands and knees. and then they stand up again.

33:44

That. Is the kind of strength. That. We

33:46

should be actually apply. And so the

33:48

pipe bomb. This for me is that. It's

33:51

like yes, I've been knocked down by many

33:53

things. But. I'm still

33:55

standing up am still get know. He

33:58

didn't mean that some have a got it right away. The.

34:00

Strength means that sometimes I really did

34:03

have to lay down their. Mates.

34:05

Even play dead like girl Not

34:08

nobody could be any the minute.

34:12

Details in a few a minute, You know? The

34:16

beauty of strength of being high

34:18

a ball is that even in

34:20

that brokenness in that hurts. That

34:23

there for me is the

34:25

way to. Get.

34:28

Up. You. Know

34:30

of my own volition. This

34:34

and a certain amount of strength that it

34:36

takes. To. Get up of your

34:38

own volition. Because. Again,

34:40

this is one of the things. That is so difficult

34:42

enough. You've ever had a friend or somebody

34:44

in your life. Who. Has fallen

34:46

down and you just want them to get up

34:49

and your time to get all the advice in

34:51

the world you try to you about your legs.

34:53

let me help you can help it's and they

34:55

just can't do it and then you just get

34:58

frustrated Gov that. You know,

35:00

didn't Come on. You. Know and it's

35:02

so frustrating. But the thing is they. I.

35:05

Think the strength of that person. Is.

35:08

Their ability to get up of their own

35:10

volition. The. Nasa. The end up just

35:12

because you said so. Say my for Zakat.

35:14

The don't fall right now know. You.

35:17

Know and will. It takes a certain amount of

35:19

your own will. To. Say I'm going to

35:21

stand up again After been knocked. And

35:24

didn't you stand in here? And.

35:26

Then maybe even tried sick a step forward. But.

35:28

That. Is real strength. And

35:30

so I think of it out. the superhero.

35:33

You. Know it's not. It's not The hardness of

35:35

it is that I've been knocked down by that

35:37

Families are. And in have to sam

35:39

back up again. That's

35:41

the kind of stirring said. Everyone.

35:44

Is drawn to. Because it's it's true.

35:46

As his sentiments, there's plenty

35:48

of people who. Put

35:51

on as if they're that hit me in

35:53

the trash. Didn't even bugs me an edge.

35:55

But it's not true. I don't believe it.

35:57

I don't believe that. I do Not believe.

36:00

That a single person is.

36:02

Never knocked back or down by

36:04

life and so I believe. The.

36:07

People who go down to the ground and go.

36:09

I'll get up when I'm ready. But

36:11

I will get up. And then what

36:13

happens is when you get up your

36:16

own volition, when you'd like dust yourself

36:18

off and you stand back up, you're

36:20

teaching your future self that you can

36:22

do that again. We become our

36:25

own mentor. You. Become your

36:27

own mentor and use.

36:29

So your future self we can

36:32

do this and then the next

36:34

time you can. Say. It's

36:36

not that it's easier, but you

36:38

know with possible and so it

36:40

may happen even a little sooner.

36:42

And it's not cause any outside

36:44

forces other than our own personal

36:46

story said, we've done it before.

36:48

Oh, do it again. We've got

36:50

this where we have it inside

36:52

of a some we do. Everyone

36:54

does. I don't think that you

36:56

have to be born with a

36:58

certain personality or with this outward

37:00

facing power that's easy to identify.

37:02

Or to recognize. I think we all have

37:05

this in service no matter who we are.

37:07

Yes, possible. Yeah. It is possible

37:09

say no center. Same made me think of

37:11

not a walk situation but you know for

37:13

some motherhood. Journey A message

37:16

you. Know. My first daughter

37:18

was born. At thirty

37:20

two weeks I had pre eclampsia

37:22

I was not aware. You know

37:24

is just five minutes in where

37:26

we know we don't talk enough.

37:28

I think an especially professional spaces

37:30

where. You. Know motherhood is in

37:32

Sonoma mean any honest about. Be.

37:35

Suffering. In. Madison,

37:37

you know, or pregnancy. That.

37:40

Is almost feel shameful like I revised do

37:42

It And so therefore if I can see

37:44

faith a problem of sense. Or

37:46

know that maybe you're not. Good.

37:48

Enough for like. A

37:51

Wrong with you. And. So I

37:53

just didn't know at know and

37:55

when my daughter was born. And

37:57

then subsequently died. I was.

38:00

Carmen that I want to be a mother. It.

38:03

Through that process, actually when I first got pregnant, I

38:05

wasn't sure that I want to be a mother. Be.

38:08

Totally honest, right? I was

38:10

afraid that pregnancy would get in the way of

38:12

my career. As. A

38:14

daughter a child would slow me down.

38:17

You. Know I'm thinking of those things.

38:20

And then when she died I was I have

38:22

no no no with will.by the I know I

38:24

should do on the amount that I would like

38:26

to have a baby. And.

38:28

When. I got pregnant with Leo.

38:32

I had a better sense.

38:35

Of. What to look out for? You.

38:38

So I first became sex. With.

38:40

Preeclampsia with ease at. About

38:43

twenty weeks. With. Mail and

38:45

I became sick that eight weeks. And.

38:50

Having been through the experience with Eve,

38:52

I knew what to look out for

38:55

layout. And. So

38:57

the example that you just gave

38:59

about. Sometimes. Those.

39:02

Hard lessons are those losses.

39:04

Allow you to stand up. Faster.

39:09

Not necessarily that I was like

39:11

oh yeah I can body this

39:13

pregnancy. That's what do I got?

39:15

this snow girl love you. But

39:18

I knew better of what to look out

39:20

for. I knew. The. Questions

39:22

to ask, The. Doctor is

39:24

I understood what to look out for and

39:26

my own body. At. So

39:28

even though I was still fearful in

39:31

my pregnancy. The. Fact

39:33

that I had been through such a loss.

39:36

Allowed me to be them much

39:38

more powerful place with my and

39:40

Nc. You. Know. And and

39:42

each. Of. Their.

39:45

The community of people around me

39:47

of course specialist know that allowed

39:49

me to be able to have.

39:52

You. Know a child who lived. But.

39:54

Girls you wanted Thirty four. You.

39:57

Know and so a wet

39:59

of. That know like him and

40:01

another Alameda. another two weeks. It'll.

40:04

Pass the time with Eve so. I

40:07

do think that even in the

40:09

cases. When we're not necessarily talking about

40:11

the corporate environment to I like, you

40:13

know, You've been fire it is. Now

40:15

you can stand up again because you know

40:17

how you know it is is applies to

40:20

every part of our it's life. the threat,

40:22

everything. Everything apartments gratitude.

40:24

It's such a complicated thing.

40:27

As complicated thing because. It's.

40:29

Like the and is how we started cafes and rights

40:31

I want to have to be Have gone through the

40:33

loss of a daughter and I do appreciate the next

40:35

one. Wants

40:38

that. But. At

40:40

the same time I think about it and. I

40:42

thought on a few occasions us all men

40:44

like. The. Way that

40:47

my pregnancies. Happened.

40:50

I would have been able to have both daughters. You.

40:54

Don't Became. A pursuit

40:56

eve early and as painting three

40:59

months after that. So.

41:01

It is a C D Day. And

41:04

had eve I would have Leo. And

41:08

so how then do you reconcile that

41:10

in grad. Very

41:13

very complex things. The sometimes

41:15

even it's part grieve for our

41:18

struggles. You recognize the complexity

41:20

of being. What? You pads

41:22

even though last the other thing and

41:24

yes you would want it it's yes

41:26

it would have been the greatest thing

41:28

ever but also. You. Lost

41:30

that and you have this. Whereas.

41:33

The gratitude and how the south

41:36

of things. That. Can

41:38

lead to sleep. See doesn't always doesn't

41:40

balance out in this obvious and

41:43

clear way. And holding

41:45

that complexity holding that nuance

41:47

is it can be a.

41:50

Real. Gift and I'll see what

41:52

else. As a guest is Ben

41:54

I'm in know that it was

41:56

by watching you apparently. L for

41:58

years of course. The always been

42:01

a delight to watch. your relationship

42:03

with her is. Hilarious!

42:05

And your special? It's a

42:08

special it's always been about.

42:10

I'm a recent. Recently.

42:13

Also now a single mom, which I hadn't

42:15

been. And I've always

42:17

had a partner and that it had

42:19

a divorce I didn't see can mean

42:21

it's and then all of a site

42:23

in. I've got five kids. And

42:25

I'm I'm the lead parents. On

42:27

the full time parent on the lead,

42:30

Perry on the home, parents and. All

42:32

of a sudden I'm looking around out

42:34

women that I respect and admire who

42:36

are doing it as you were one

42:38

of other animals like. She's.

42:41

To knit this is a possibility.

42:43

For me. it's like we're not

42:45

doomed. There is life. On

42:48

the other side of this and

42:50

I learned a lot from you

42:52

and I love the way that

42:54

you parents I'd like to hear

42:56

you talk a little bit about

42:58

all these are speed a single

43:00

mom. And what

43:03

you have learned,

43:05

what you value,

43:08

What you cherish, what you decided I'm not

43:10

going to hang on to these things are

43:12

not in the let this and this it

43:14

a sick this is what I'm going to

43:16

cherish. Because I'm just telling you I'm. Like

43:19

I'm out try to catch everything out

43:21

atmosphere that I care about. The all.

43:23

Every possible. That is impossible.

43:26

Know, you know I. I always say

43:28

this, I got a sucky club to

43:30

be a part of. you know, like

43:32

okay worthy or you don't expect like

43:34

the best of it appear when are

43:36

you got it out because I'd really

43:38

do appreciate it She said, you know,

43:40

unexpected. Divorce in or

43:42

unexpected single parenthood. Why?

43:45

I guess I don't think any have a seat. None

43:47

of us alive who well know? there's a few, but.

43:50

A lot of us. Going to dislike Oh

43:52

you know what? Yes, I want a partner. Who.

43:54

Is point he is. Equally

43:57

responsible. For it's

43:59

system. You know, like somebody I can count

44:01

on and when I need to go take a nap.

44:03

He got it. You. Know. Didn't

44:06

always work out that way. Even when you are

44:08

in a marriage. To. Really talk

44:10

about that but you know it's like that is

44:12

this as well. So sometimes I'm like girl you

44:14

in a marriage but you a single bear. You

44:17

know that I picked up. That. Is

44:19

very real. And it is

44:21

rust trading because of course like

44:23

I know thing until recently. We.

44:26

Were really able to talk about.

44:28

You know, not being a hero. As.

44:30

A mom. And

44:33

because the thing is, it's been

44:35

just so. Upheld that

44:37

like if you are of mom is

44:39

like you know float when mother they

44:41

comes around he and how many cars

44:43

and like you. Are amazing and you

44:46

are the best super human mom ever!

44:48

A new that everything and I'm literally

44:50

sin. They're. Like oh my God. this I.

44:52

Dread it because. I.

44:56

Appreciate that you love my relationship and

44:58

the way that I parent. But

45:00

at the same time as I, I'm not perfect. You.

45:03

Know I am doing

45:05

what I'm doing for

45:07

my side. You. Don't and I

45:09

can do it. And. I

45:12

recognize and thankfully. In

45:14

I recognize this pretty early by

45:16

peter past week when lifts or.

45:18

And. Destroying. Lighted cell

45:20

is that. He. Really was

45:23

the one who wanted joke. You

45:25

know I again I won't lie to you.

45:27

I really was. Whether or not this is

45:29

the path of wanted you know. But.

45:32

Then we lost Eve and then a hadley

45:34

out with my shoes worn. It was like

45:36

that with me. Worms is what have I

45:38

done. You know, enemy lines autopsy here Now

45:40

she's gonna leader. You

45:42

don't have prepared and anxiety if I

45:44

were hold on a what are here

45:46

but then also why does. And

45:49

what at the way? She.

45:53

Was sleeping in my bed. Or

45:55

and was like, you know, Long after the

45:57

castle does that come in and people Fact.

46:00

That now. In all aspects. And

46:02

I was lane any her Emmy to have

46:04

to be almost dawn brow sleepless analysis looking

46:06

at her think installed a helmet was a

46:09

do this. But

46:11

are you serious right now? After this, He

46:13

Must happen. Met

46:15

her and feeling all the anxiety and

46:17

feeling like there's no way. That.

46:20

I'm able to l you know how to do that says no

46:22

I told my husband. And

46:24

I chapter on the So Color.

46:26

Cipro. Await. Odyssey mommy feel

46:28

for whatever you know so far away. I

46:31

actually said sewer to sort out the

46:33

said hey look. I

46:36

don't know what I'm doing. An.

46:39

Acid the tell me. What? You

46:41

need. And. Need it.

46:44

Because I just, I don't know and I'm

46:46

at a cost Them a thorn saab, And

46:48

sign and I said that's worth And the funny

46:51

thing is that like I grab him to that

46:53

day but it was yesterday. Look

46:56

at me issue like okay. We're

46:58

basically. An easy thing

47:00

is that like of course the south completely

47:03

insane to say that were four year old

47:05

they expect by some sort a reasonable entertained

47:07

you know. It's.

47:10

Her: okay, Gave

47:12

me the permission. To.

47:14

Not know what? the hell out, don't. Intend

47:18

on her. To tell me. And

47:20

it really did change my view of motherhood.

47:22

I was no longer like oh, I'm the

47:24

one in charge and at. Your

47:27

The thing is that like it's not I see. Run

47:29

Me Around and nino the house

47:31

is like completely insane because Run.

47:34

But I didn't recognize that

47:36

the relationship she and I

47:38

were going to have was

47:40

not built me being insights.

47:43

It was going to be a relationship that

47:45

felt like a partnership. In that, I'm

47:47

going to have to depend on her. To

47:49

tell. Me what she needs. I would have the. Little

47:53

person. To. Be honest with me, but

47:55

that method I had to make room. For.

47:57

Her honesty. I to make room

47:59

for. He the truth. You're.

48:02

At home for her to express to

48:04

me when she needed something I was

48:06

in providing it. And so that's

48:08

why it's like even as. Like I was

48:10

trying to get back on. My feet and

48:12

get back into the corporate swing of things

48:14

we moved from New York to And legs

48:16

I got and. It. And

48:18

then we were acquired by Apple and as a

48:21

bad to fly from L Latest to Cupertino every

48:23

single day of the week. And

48:25

even said she had just turned five

48:27

and I said swear, hey look. I'm

48:30

when we run around a lot. Of

48:32

that a calendar. Of the

48:35

things you need me to. Attend or be

48:37

at Uni to tell me. You

48:39

see methods consists of five euro but

48:41

upset if my bad has been to

48:44

the system for us. And

48:46

so even. At fourteen

48:48

gone off as should be seen. a couple of

48:50

the league's. See. Knows.

48:53

That. When she need something from me. She.

48:55

Is allowed to say it and

48:57

I will respond in the way

48:59

that knowledge is her and respects

49:01

her needs. And that is

49:03

why I feel if I'm able then

49:06

to honestly be the kind of. Executive

49:09

and Mom that was. Yeah.

49:12

Because like, look, I'm not at every volleyball game.

49:15

A lot of times I miss bedtime. I

49:18

will forget. When. There's a tests

49:20

that is coming. Girl.

49:23

During the pandemic I was not good at

49:25

math and o'clock Now I can talk about

49:27

it. Is so then as

49:29

i grow which need to your have

49:31

a fantastic consider. hey if I were

49:33

that sooner if he is up. The

49:36

that totally and for me.

49:38

My and seeing. Has.

49:41

Changed because I need to make. Space.

49:44

For. Her honest with me about what she

49:46

needs to that I can be. The.

49:49

Mother this She needs. Not. Necessarily

49:51

the mother that I think is needed.

49:54

That just means so much for me. To her.

49:57

you talk through and I I. Think it's gonna need

49:59

a lot to live. People are thing. I

50:01

have a big did demographic of

50:03

the single moms in this community.

50:05

Some of us. By.

50:08

Choice some by force. most

50:10

of us unexpected just as

50:12

you mentioned and I have a

50:14

non traditional. likes to travel

50:16

a lot. I worked demand.

50:18

A and some on the road. I've

50:20

always been. An airplane's I discussed his

50:22

death. My. Career explained as long as

50:24

that's what my kids grew up with,

50:27

that's what they know and then add

50:29

the sort of lost a lot of

50:31

a partner switch in the lot of

50:33

ways made that piece manageable. The seventh

50:35

on someone's home and an alternate wasn't

50:38

attained. And we just had

50:40

recalibrate everything. And so now

50:42

my youngest is eighteen! A

50:45

disappearing or so differently. But I'm like

50:47

this is how our family works. so

50:49

it's not a template and it doesn't

50:51

Other families who operate in maybe a

50:54

little bit more of a conventional setting

50:56

would that look at it and how

50:58

is is working on an injustice for

51:00

us? Like this is our family dynamic

51:03

as it works. Because we constantly talk about

51:05

it. Are you okay? What? Is

51:07

going on? What do you need

51:09

right now? What's the push and

51:11

pull here of you're learning autonomy

51:13

by. You still live in my

51:15

house? yeah it's decreed that doesn't

51:18

suggest by death as idea need

51:20

the line that point. You.

51:22

Know, Which is that we also need to

51:24

trust them. Solicitors, You.

51:28

Mean when you say what do you need. He.

51:32

Did trust that presumably can articulate

51:34

it. And it's that it's asked to.

51:36

And I think like if you

51:38

approach it that way. No

51:41

one sack over you. You. Know. What

51:44

I mean. The suicide? Will? You still are

51:46

in charge of the house? You still are.

51:48

The decision is still the one who gets

51:50

to make the rules. But. Think

51:52

you'd be really surprised. By

51:55

what it is that the actually need

51:57

when they built Spitzer asking them insincerity.

52:00

Image of. Believe. That many tell

52:03

you. Know. If

52:05

I think sometimes me approach it

52:07

with scepticism. Or. As if I will

52:09

if I ask us is just gonna say she

52:11

gave us a million dollars to go shopping with

52:13

her friends but is gonna say this outs of

52:16

two am and know because the curfews eleven. And.

52:18

If I know actually without some what it is

52:20

to five, what do you need? What? What does

52:23

that? You might. You. Don't Fight!

52:25

We just had a a big breakthrough cause I

52:27

left my daughter go to court Zola. Without.

52:29

Me: She. Went with a

52:32

woman who used to be my sister a few

52:34

years ago. I new some of layoffs friends were

52:36

going to be there. began Remember lay a fourteen

52:38

years old. you know. And her

52:40

favorite artists who started the career. When

52:43

the lineup came out issues like oh my God

52:45

will believe that can be a coach Allah and

52:47

I'm looking at her my gruesome lots of their

52:49

mind if you think I'm a ledger. In

52:51

I'll hear. With all that said he thought

52:53

out there that you know, how does that

52:56

all an odd you said you know you

52:58

don't need it. And.

53:00

Fit It held my first reaction. The

53:02

Fabiani enough for Christmas. And

53:04

then you know side the week went by

53:06

and I could see that you know she

53:08

was trying to bring up the whole Tyler

53:10

thing and it you know again this is

53:12

all the work in. Progress right? The has

53:15

reminds us either a bait and the

53:17

real confrontation. So. At dinner

53:19

one day I'm not a am I. What? What Is

53:21

it? The jets you want? but what is that you

53:23

want? To. I know I know you mongol could

53:25

to go cello but like tell me exactly what is

53:28

it as you want from Kojo. You know

53:30

you want Isler is that it? Or you just want to

53:32

go with my thing out of friends. Like? what does that

53:34

mean? And. Talking. Through

53:36

it out like you know where as he

53:38

was he was is an outrage. Was.

53:41

He was isn't like you know to

53:43

go imparted We am every night. T.

53:46

V don't want to see Lana. Del Rey smiles.

53:48

It's as leaders must don't get. And.

53:50

Am I. As I

53:52

bet. Okay, let me let you go with the mighty I

53:55

trust. And let's see now we'll We'll

53:57

keep talking about this. And so when she was

53:59

by her. She. Was

54:01

shocked because again we get it

54:03

to little quote Okay. So. I'm

54:05

not perfect, but. You know,

54:09

And. I for for us was

54:11

bad for you know another have it

54:13

goes use ice. Thank you for trusting

54:15

me. Go.

54:18

And. I think again he says. I'm

54:20

hopeful anyway bit as we approach this

54:22

new time. And for a guy, Where.

54:26

You know, the teenage years can

54:28

be aggressive. But I'm an

54:30

alibi. As as I hope

54:33

that. What? We have established

54:35

as a foundation. In

54:37

you said, I know this won't always

54:39

come to me with everything. But.

54:42

I hoped I'm brave enough. To

54:44

always ask her what is it needs is me.

54:47

And. That I will be able to figure out a

54:49

way to provide. So. That She truck. The.

54:52

Way that she needs to be my third. That

54:55

So then there is something

54:57

special about treasure in. Our

54:59

kids growing independence, giving them

55:01

some room, To

55:03

spread their wings a bit and to

55:05

say I believe in you and. I I

55:08

trust. I trust her. Word. Here and

55:10

my. Experience: Having

55:12

raised. By teenagers my youngest is

55:15

eighteen. Is that it

55:17

happens. But it's rare that

55:19

they abuse that trust because

55:21

they're so grateful. Habit there.

55:23

so something shot. That. I

55:25

said yes, you can do this. Here's

55:27

the guard rails, but you can do

55:29

this. That they're like oh hell, I'm

55:31

not gonna mess this up. I'm gonna. I'm. Gonna

55:33

run this operation like I said I was

55:36

going to and I'll get a repeat. And

55:38

the right. Here right? That's

55:40

how it works. Teenagers are not evil. i'm

55:43

telling ya mom says are behind their

55:45

like some so scared for this sweet

55:47

little baby to turn into had he

55:49

not like up sooner kids they don't

55:51

turn into a new human they're just

55:53

bigger they smell were split stats your

55:55

kid and the what is like a

55:57

wonderful good about them just is still

55:59

in there. Don't worry about it. So

56:01

I actually think parenting

56:03

teenagers is fun. Now, 14

56:06

is ideal. Frankly,

56:09

really 12 and 13 was. I don't know how you did at

56:11

12 and 13, but I was like,

56:13

Jesus, the rapture.

56:15

Can we pause and just

56:17

acknowledge how amazing you look

56:20

at art? Thank you. Can

56:24

we get

56:26

that as the rule book

56:28

or whatever? We need that. I feel like

56:30

that's the thing we all need. What

56:33

I'm doing, hello. Go ahead.

56:37

I'm proud of you. Listen,

56:40

I probably operated at about a 61%

56:42

rate. It's passing enough. That's

56:44

how I see it though.

56:47

I'm way past the optimistic

56:49

idealistic. I'm going to do

56:51

this perfectly. I'm going to

56:53

control all the outcomes. Oh hell. Oh God.

56:55

We're way beyond that. We've had wage

56:57

mini like f ups. So now we're

56:59

just like, you know what? We're all okay. We're

57:02

all right. That's good enough. We're okay.

57:04

We made it. We're alive. We're

57:07

alive. Oh my God. I'm telling you. I

57:09

think literally sometimes the miracle of it. I'm

57:11

just like, we still here. We made it

57:13

through. You know, it's like, yeah,

57:15

the Monday after Coachella, I was like, Oh God,

57:18

thank you Jesus. We made it

57:20

through that one. And I know there's more challenges and

57:22

more trials. Thank you. Thank

57:24

you. You know, I

57:26

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1:00:26

You love what you said. Earlier

1:00:29

Loved it When you're like everybody

1:00:31

wanted you to like, right? The

1:00:33

formula. How do you become fancy

1:00:35

and famous and wealthy and successful?

1:00:37

You know, sort of those dial

1:00:39

and you are how you said.

1:00:42

I didn't want to write about.

1:00:45

How necessarily to do that, but rather

1:00:47

why I am the web? Oh, it

1:00:49

was such. A good says that he

1:00:51

said I just butchered it but I'd

1:00:53

like to just hear you say now

1:00:55

that your books been out in the

1:00:57

world's once it's been like for you

1:01:00

consists of leadership. This is a certain

1:01:02

leadership flex that you have done. You

1:01:04

are leading. Buddhism is an authentic tinder.

1:01:06

Human piece of your story

1:01:09

in addition to all of

1:01:11

your career success. What's. Been

1:01:13

the most surprising thing about having put

1:01:15

this little piece of your heart out

1:01:18

into the world's. What's the world?

1:01:20

Give any back. There

1:01:22

were many times when I was writing. When

1:01:24

I thought I should have written the career book.

1:01:27

In a horse I feel a

1:01:29

bit easier for source to be

1:01:31

easier for so or are. Some.

1:01:35

I need a goal is. A

1:01:37

story that I really didn't wanna go to

1:01:39

right? And they were

1:01:41

often times when I saw it. Wow.

1:01:45

Lulu Good identify with this.

1:01:48

He always has aside this is my story and

1:01:50

all of us just. Eat. If

1:01:53

I'm writing about likes having the flu

1:01:55

and how I got over it, live

1:01:57

in all yeah, maybe because everybody else.

1:02:00

Gone to the Flute a fan. By.

1:02:03

Who's really points? You get this story.

1:02:06

York. First.

1:02:08

Generation American. Who.

1:02:10

Move back and forth and then

1:02:12

landed in Colorado Springs, Colorado A

1:02:14

twelve. Two. Tall and to

1:02:16

black. Race up

1:02:19

the corporate ladder. Laughlin. Has

1:02:21

been lost. My boyfriend lost

1:02:23

my child's lost jobs with

1:02:25

people like the confidence was

1:02:27

will that up and down.

1:02:29

So who is actually going

1:02:31

identify. And

1:02:33

when my book was published I

1:02:36

just kind of side of. This

1:02:39

relief because I like who are

1:02:41

done and now you know, like expectations

1:02:44

be damned. You know, like level A? Whatever

1:02:46

they want to say. okay and if I I

1:02:48

guess added it, you know, And

1:02:50

the most amazing thing

1:02:52

about. Being. Human.

1:02:55

Is. How and. Credibly. Hide

1:02:58

the are to each other. In

1:03:00

which their socks me. You.

1:03:02

Don't hate to be so like

1:03:04

small about it, but I really

1:03:07

was the site. Okay, Well, maybe if

1:03:09

you've been through all the things I've been through,

1:03:11

then you don't get it. And

1:03:13

so I am Sox time I

1:03:15

wanted to. Anybody who is nothing

1:03:18

like me. I

1:03:20

girl I sobbed well as reading your book And Emma

1:03:22

you did. Why? You.

1:03:25

Know and see. If

1:03:27

a bar human condition. Has

1:03:30

a sweets other in ways that

1:03:32

is unexpected and it is a

1:03:35

beautiful thing that. Even through

1:03:37

our pain. We. Are still

1:03:39

tied together as human beings, And

1:03:41

so when I do see the devastation that

1:03:43

it's happening in the world and the challenges

1:03:45

in the conflict that we have. With each

1:03:48

other. And just I'm still. On

1:03:50

by our humanness in it. At

1:03:53

like as there are you know certain factions

1:03:55

of doing things that we with people would

1:03:58

do. But. The majority. of

1:04:00

us, a majority of

1:04:02

us are tied together because we have this

1:04:04

shared experience. And so it

1:04:06

gives great hope for humanity. It gives me

1:04:08

great joy at meeting strangers and

1:04:10

being like, girl, yes. And then what'd

1:04:12

you do when you had to separate from your husband, girl,

1:04:15

let me tell you what I did. You know, like,

1:04:17

and we don't have anything in common, but

1:04:19

I love that. And it's a reminder

1:04:21

again, that I'm

1:04:23

going to use your friend, Kristen, right?

1:04:25

Her, her words about Olympics,

1:04:28

because it reminds me again that

1:04:31

we don't have to compete for who

1:04:33

has suffered more or more is

1:04:37

that we are all living this experience,

1:04:39

which is happiness

1:04:41

and sadness and triumph and

1:04:44

defeat and anger and, and

1:04:47

all of the things, and that we really are

1:04:49

tied together as humans. And that

1:04:52

pushed to continue living

1:04:54

my life in this way because

1:04:56

it is connected to everybody else.

1:04:58

And so I'm not out here

1:05:01

singular and alone in my experience.

1:05:04

None of us are. That's just

1:05:06

such a beautiful way to end this. What are

1:05:08

you doing right now? What's on your plate? Well,

1:05:11

after the phone call I had with my friend,

1:05:13

I still call her my friend. I

1:05:16

am pursuing what it looks like

1:05:18

for me to be an entrepreneur

1:05:20

outside of, you know, the corporate

1:05:22

environment. And so that's what I'm

1:05:24

doing. I'm, I'm building it's

1:05:26

scary as hell, but I am very

1:05:28

energized. Yeah. Oh, I

1:05:31

can't wait to see what you're putting your hand to with

1:05:34

all that you have to dump into that

1:05:36

bucket from your varied experiences. I'm

1:05:39

excited. I'm going to round up

1:05:42

all your things, all your links, all your everything

1:05:44

for my readers so they can just one click

1:05:46

and find you and follow you and buy

1:05:48

your book, which they'll be so moved by

1:05:51

because to your point, yes, you include the

1:05:53

particulars of your story, but embedded in that

1:05:55

is a universal

1:05:57

experience of law. and

1:06:00

hope and recovery and resilience and

1:06:03

family and relationship. That's all, that's

1:06:05

everyone, it's human. So, hey,

1:06:08

I'm so happy to see you and I'm

1:06:10

just completely delighted in you as a human

1:06:13

and so grateful for everything

1:06:15

that I've learned from you but also

1:06:17

just to be a woman

1:06:19

at the same time as you and

1:06:23

just hopeful, so hopeful for what

1:06:26

it is that we get to

1:06:28

build and the next generation watching.

1:06:30

I'm just, I just

1:06:32

am stubbornly optimistic about it and

1:06:34

so thanks for being on today.

1:06:37

You, thank you. Again, I started off by

1:06:39

saying I appreciate this space but

1:06:42

you are wonderful in being able to use

1:06:44

this gift that you have in

1:06:46

this way. It is really a gift. Not

1:06:48

everyone has it, so thank you for using

1:06:50

it for this purpose. All

1:07:01

right, guys. Oh,

1:07:04

I love her. I love her. I

1:07:07

learned from her. I'm proud of her. What

1:07:10

a time to be a woman. Again, I know

1:07:12

I just said it but I'm so hopeful. We

1:07:15

have more to come in the Matriarchy

1:07:18

series, just a celebration

1:07:20

of women across the board. I

1:07:23

wouldn't want anything

1:07:26

other to be a woman in this world and

1:07:30

I love our

1:07:32

community with so many women of strength

1:07:36

who are leading us and loving us and

1:07:38

serving us so well and Bozama

1:07:41

is certainly one of them. As promised,

1:07:43

if you go over to jenhatmaker.com under

1:07:46

the podcast tab, I'll have this episode, the

1:07:48

link, the show notes if you'd like to

1:07:50

share it and then all

1:07:52

of Bozama's stuff, her socials. You'll love to

1:07:54

follow her on social. If

1:07:56

you haven't already subscribed to the show, do it. Subscribe

1:07:59

wherever you get your. That

1:08:01

means so much to us and we will just

1:08:03

show up in your little. Library.

1:08:06

Week after week and you're not

1:08:08

want to miss any. Episodes in

1:08:10

this series. So and sell then you

1:08:13

guys me sure love you We love

1:08:15

serving you and seen expect. The

1:08:26

For the Love Podcast with Jin

1:08:28

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1:08:31

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1:08:35

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1:08:43

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1:08:45

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