A bald striker who likes to tuck in his shirt and bangs in goals for fun? No, he’s not Ronaldo Nazario in the early 2000s while he was playing for Real Madrid. No, he’s arguably even better (and certainly more of an FPL hero at the very least). The club is Crystal Palace, the time is April 2024, the number on his shirt is 14, and the man of the moment is Jean-Philippe Mateta. His whopping 29 points is the capstone of, quite frankly, a feast of a gameweek—one in which the top-scoring FPL team (aptly called “Hakuna Mateta!”) ended on 216 points. Funnily enough, the popular Liverpool assets turned out to be the big disappointments, with the triple-up of Salah, van Dijk, and Robertson getting outscored by Will Hughes. It may be tempting to linger forever on DGW 34, but we must set our sights on the few remaining gameweeks of the season. To that end, we discuss which Chelsea and Spurs assets are good for DGW 35, the Salah problem (crazy that he’s become a “problem”), and overall transfer strategy before the big DGW 37. Since we won’t have time to record an episode next week, we look at captaincy options for GW 36 in addition to GW 35. Jacob presents an enticing idea that Jiayang may just take up next season…

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