The robot didn’t want to wear the hat: and that’s fine. All you can do is try. All you can do is hack the machine that prints the hats and go skipping through it’s kaleidoscopic innards. It’s a wave of a hand. It’s no time wasted, if there’s such a thing as wasted time. They said that if you kept being late to class there’d be consequences, but you could access the registration computer from the rooftop of C block and look down at the campus and be exactly as late as you wanted. You could be terrifically late. It’s a blink of an eye.

And this is SO easy! The machine that prints the hats is easy, some squat little AI inside turning and looking at you, bleary-eyed. Goodbye! The security cameras all over this casino? Trivial. You can see a man about to spill his coffee. He’s spilled his coffee. Down in custodial a pink LED clicks on. This is a casino? They store money here? But what would you spend the money on? So, the rent’s due, but what are they going to do about that? Evict you? 

These are magic tricks. This is sleight of hand. Small fry don’t get to see the real stuff. Once you made it to class on time and there was a box on your desk and right between then and the end of the period you spent 6 months in the dream of a dream of some glacial, oily thing. You rearranged planets in the sky between your thumb and index finger. The ocean in the shape of a ring. 

Click your fingers. It’s cameras. Scrub through the footage. Pay attention, as much as you can. It’s just a job: and that’s fine. Hack the machine that prints the hats. Do what you love, and you’ll never work a day in your life. 

This week on COUNTER/Weight 0.4: New Perspectives

In the event of a crisis, remain calm!

Hosted by Austin Walker (@austin_walker)

Featuring Keith J Carberry (@KeithJCarberry), Jack de Quidt (@notquitereal), Ali Acampora (@ali_west), and Art Tebbel (@atebbel)

Produced by Ali Acampora

Cover Art by Craig Sheldon (@shoddyrobot)

Music by Jack de Quidt