Episode Transcript
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0:00
Darling, I was on a vacation
0:02
recently and stayed at an Airbnb, and
0:05
then I realized that while
0:07
I was away, my empty house
0:09
could be making money, honey. If
0:12
you're someone like me that is busy and
0:14
not home all the time, your home could
0:17
be an Airbnb, and it's actually pretty simple
0:19
to get started. Even if you don't have
0:21
a whole house, you could start with just
0:24
a spare room. Personally, I really
0:26
enjoy staying at Airbnb's. I really do. I
0:28
love a good Airbnb. Who is that? Come
0:30
back, British U. And it really is a
0:32
great way to support local economy and support
0:34
local people. So Airbnb is fabulous. And
0:36
I know I was doing my British voice earlier, but we
0:39
love Airbnb. So think about what
0:41
you could do with some extra cash. Whether you're
0:43
looking to treat yourself to something nice, like a
0:45
shopping spree or a spa day, or start a
0:47
whole side hustle, Airbnb can help you be that
0:50
person. Your home
0:52
might be worth more than
0:54
you think. Find out how
0:57
much at airbnb.com/host. Darling, I
0:59
was on a vacation recently and stayed at
1:02
an Airbnb. And then I
1:04
realized that while I was away,
1:06
my empty house could be
1:08
making money, honey. If
1:11
you're someone like me that is busy
1:13
and not home all the time, your
1:15
home could be an Airbnb. And
1:17
it's actually pretty simple to get started. Even if
1:19
you don't have a whole house, you could start
1:22
with just a spare room. Personally, I
1:24
really enjoy staying at Airbnb. I
1:26
really do. I love a good Airbnb. Who is
1:29
that? Come back, British U. And it really is
1:31
a great way to support local economy and support
1:33
local people. So Airbnb is fabulous. And I
1:35
know I was doing my British voice earlier, but we
1:37
love Airbnb. So think about what
1:39
you could do with some extra cash. Whether you're
1:41
looking to treat yourself to something nice, like a
1:44
shopping spree or a spa day, or start a
1:46
whole side hustle, Airbnb can help you be that
1:49
person. Your home
1:51
might be worth more than
1:53
you think. Find out how
1:55
much at airbnb.com/host. He
2:02
curious people. I'm Jonathan Venice and
2:04
welcome back to getting serious. You
2:07
guys. I. Have.
2:09
A Special updates I suppose him A
2:11
literally my name's Wayne last night's I
2:13
will talk about that one more time
2:15
in our interview with Our Guess Today.
2:17
But just the you know, A
2:19
little bit say twain. I. Asked
2:21
her literal career advice. She. Made
2:23
me cry last night. I. Have a
2:25
it a good way. I love Zinnia.
2:28
You're a goddess. End you slay. Sidebar:
2:31
Language. Linguistics. What's it
2:33
all about? How Alec.
2:36
Through. My career and really through
2:39
my life. I've. I. Love
2:41
language. I love vocabulary word.
2:43
I. I love a
2:45
moto. In fact in fifth grade I
2:47
literally started a moto company were like
2:49
I made a list of words that
2:51
were like freezes the i invented like
2:53
I have always and in this other
2:55
could make lacerated like arrival fucking moto
2:57
company and then art teacher miss Rescue
2:59
who also is the one who got
3:02
me obsessive finland ah because she was
3:04
like finish the shut down our company's
3:06
she's that was causing too much faith
3:08
in the class so our our motto
3:10
company got shut down but. I'd
3:12
be been such a public figure and. I'm
3:15
a writer, I'm a comedian A and
3:17
also just suddenly I'm interested in language
3:19
and had to have a lot of
3:21
conversations around language and how it's perceived
3:24
and how it comes across. And generally
3:26
I want to use language better. I
3:28
want to be more curious about how
3:30
it's a new language better missouri really
3:32
curious about like. How. Language
3:34
of the ball to how it's changed and
3:36
like. How are languages police?
3:38
both like in real life and on
3:40
social like media? And if there's a
3:42
difference to talk about this and so
3:44
much more. And you guys just like.
3:47
This one of our like I just it's giving me like. Just
3:50
this episode is so fucking good. You guys
3:52
to talk about this. We're bringing And and
3:54
Curzon. To ask: how can we
3:56
use our language more effectively. Let's.
3:58
Find out more about he incurs
4:00
on his the Dean of Literature,
4:02
Science and the Earth at the
4:04
University of Michigan where she also
4:06
teaches courses on the history of
4:08
English English grammar, language and gender
4:10
and the dynamics of conversations. She's
4:12
a train linguists in history and
4:14
of the English language. protect talk
4:16
at you and called what makes
4:18
the word real has over two
4:20
million views on the national Ted
4:23
site see earn her be a
4:25
Linguistics from Yale University and her
4:27
Phd in English Language and Literature
4:29
from the University. Of Michigan. Oh
4:31
My. God. Her credentials are so
4:33
major and I definitely midnight last
4:35
night. Oh My. God. A. Her.
4:37
Book says who are kind or fun
4:39
or usage guide for everyone who cares
4:41
about words. Just came out on March
4:43
twenty six. And walk into
4:46
the show how are you? I'm great
4:48
and I am delighted to be here.
4:50
Thank you so much for inviting me
4:52
to join you in! Some of my
4:54
favorite people in the universe have been
4:57
named an like my assistant oil have
4:59
so much as name is an my
5:01
grandma's name was an i Love Ends
5:03
so. Thank. You for coming
5:05
to you Birch searing you are expertise
5:07
with us am because you're really doing
5:10
it just and are in for we're
5:12
talking about. Your tenure
5:14
which is just like. Stunning.
5:16
Like you've done so many cool things
5:18
and you're a linguist. Make. When.
5:21
Did you realize that you wanted to be a linguist
5:23
For you? Like. Young are you
5:25
like in school? Like when were you mining?
5:27
Like how are you minding your own business
5:29
and then like the linguistics bug Just gotcha.
5:33
Jonathan I love starting
5:35
with this question because.
5:38
I went to college as a math. Major.
5:42
i didn't know what linguistics was
5:44
i of course went to college
5:46
before the internet i'm old enough
5:48
that that is this true and
5:51
i knew there was something out
5:53
there called linguistics i was a
5:55
really massey kid i liked martha
5:57
was good at math I
6:00
was also interested in languages, and I
6:02
liked languages. So I went to college
6:04
as a math major, and I took an
6:06
introductory linguistics course just to figure out
6:08
what it was. And I would
6:11
guess some of our listeners are also like, well,
6:13
Anne, what is it? So
6:16
it's the scientific or systematic
6:18
study of language in
6:21
general, or languages specifically. And
6:24
that course was interesting enough
6:27
that I thought, well, I'll take a second course.
6:29
And my sophomore year in college, I took a
6:31
course called the History of
6:33
the English Language, and it changed
6:35
my life. I loved it. This
6:39
professor, whose name was Marie Boroff,
6:42
knew the answer to questions that I
6:44
hadn't realized I wanted to know the
6:46
answer to, but... Oh, like tell us
6:48
one, tell us one. So
6:52
when was double negation standard in
6:54
the English language? Why is
6:56
kernel spelled with an L and
6:58
pronounced with an R? You
7:01
can answer that question if you
7:03
study the history of English. And I fell
7:06
in love, and I became a
7:08
linguistics major. And here I am 35
7:10
years later, still
7:13
studying the history of English. We've learned a
7:15
lot on the pod about things that ended
7:17
up having, this is a little bit of
7:19
a right term, but I'm just curious, especially
7:21
with where we are just
7:24
currently in the world. Yeah.
7:27
Like the history of the calorie, the
7:29
BMI, a lot of these things
7:31
have so much racism and
7:33
there's eugenics folded into it, which
7:35
is really intense, things
7:37
that you wouldn't even know, but it's
7:39
racism and the misogyny and the patriarchy,
7:41
it really seeped its way into all
7:44
up in this culture. How does
7:46
that history interplay into linguistics? Does
7:49
the linguistic academic community talk about
7:51
this? Is there a spectrum there
7:53
where people are like, oh,
7:55
get off that stuff. Like let's just talk about double
7:57
negatives and participles. And then is
7:59
there other? people they're like, no, we really need
8:01
to reckon with some of the ways
8:03
that like language was used to like, enforce
8:06
like class or perception or like how someone
8:08
is like received because if they didn't, you
8:10
know, get enough education and then they weren't
8:12
like, seen as like
8:15
deserving of respect or whatever. That was
8:17
a lot. I'm sorry. Oh, but
8:19
it is such an important
8:21
question. And the two pieces
8:24
that you said, is it one or the
8:26
other? And I would say actually, they're closely
8:28
linked together. And the
8:30
fact that language
8:32
matters for those fundamental
8:35
social questions is why
8:37
I stayed in the field. And it
8:39
was in graduate school that I had an advisor
8:42
who helped me see how linguistics
8:45
matters for real people in
8:47
real time in real educational
8:49
systems, because
8:52
we judge people
8:54
and discriminate against people based on
8:56
their language. So
8:58
the stakes are high. Language
9:01
is also a key part
9:03
of who we are. Sometimes people
9:05
will say, language is just like clothes, you can
9:07
put it on or take it off. And, and
9:10
I say, no, language is part
9:12
of our identity. It's part of
9:14
the communities in which we grew
9:16
up, and then the communities with
9:18
which we identify.
9:21
So it's a big part of us. And
9:23
when people criticize our language, it
9:25
can feel very personal because they're
9:28
criticizing a really foundational part of
9:31
our identities. That also just my intrusive
9:33
thought went into they
9:35
them pronouns, because that's such a genderqueer
9:38
person, like, I didn't really get
9:41
exposed to that language or under but I
9:43
mean, this was a feeling and an identity
9:45
that I'd always had. But then when I
9:47
met a look then I really
9:49
understood that's a good friend of mine. We
9:52
did an episode on this podcast and like a for
9:55
the show on Netflix. But Once
9:57
I learned the language, I was like, Wow. These
10:00
are the words that I been like
10:02
searching for describe how I experienced gender.
10:04
At my experience of gender and being
10:06
able to tell the difference between. Sachs.
10:09
Engender like. That's.
10:12
A huge thing bit. I think no
10:14
one's arguing or in biology. although we
10:16
kind of our because intersex people aren't
10:18
really ever factored into the conversation like
10:20
where they said beats. Because even biologically
10:22
like it's you know we know that
10:24
it's not fully of such a cut
10:27
and dry mary, even though there's like
10:29
a. You. Know there is more
10:31
of a majority but is still is like a
10:33
drum that. What about the
10:35
them pronouns and singular us like what can
10:38
I say that did you see that like
10:40
clipper that British lady it's like on that
10:42
British new so so and she was all
10:44
like refusing to use they them pronouns with
10:47
that like cool journalist and so I just
10:49
my views acts in sydney not say you
10:51
have we ever done they them pronoun for
10:53
a singular can you school that lady or
10:56
or wyatt. Oh. I have
10:58
such strong feelings on this I would
11:00
love to see if. I
11:03
had spent. For. Better
11:05
or worse, pretty much my entire
11:07
career thinking about pronouns and thinking
11:09
about singular day. So thank you
11:11
for asking. I'm gonna climb right
11:13
up until my soapbox. let me
11:15
get it up or yeah, nice.
11:17
Here we go. Yes, I'm
11:21
gonna start with the fact that
11:23
we have to have two different
11:25
uses a singular day that I
11:28
think are worth distinguishing. One is
11:30
really old and this is what
11:32
I would call center neutral. Singular.
11:35
They this would be they and
11:37
something like a teacher said learn
11:39
their students' names. Were.
11:41
Were talking about any teacher. This
11:43
is a teacher whose gender is
11:46
irrelevant to this conversation. A teacher
11:48
said learn their students' names or.
11:51
Someone. Who knows where they're going.
11:54
Rights. As someone, it's clearly singular.
11:56
Who knows where they are going?
12:00
Now a lotta people think that's new
12:02
and. I'm here to say as
12:04
a historian of the English language,
12:06
it is hundreds and hundreds of
12:08
years old. We have evidence back
12:10
to the thirteen hundred, Fourteen hundreds
12:12
of singular they. Said
12:15
that one even though in the
12:17
eighteenth century grammarians decided to say
12:19
it was wrong. It's
12:22
never. it's not wrong, it's and so
12:24
here I'll do a little schooling to
12:26
people will say to me and they
12:28
had not be singular. And
12:31
I say but it is and they say
12:33
but it can't be of I say but
12:35
it is Quit is not a very interesting
12:37
arguments to have but if you listen to
12:39
the way we speak. And. This is
12:41
true of: American, English, British, English, Australian, English.
12:44
The list goes on. They
12:46
is singular because we can say someone who
12:48
knows where they're going to give us directions.
12:52
The and then they'll say but a pronoun. Can't
12:54
be singular and plural at the same
12:56
time. With
12:58
is a really funny arguments make about
13:01
English because we already have a pronoun
13:03
that is singular and plural at the
13:05
same time, which is, and that is
13:07
you. Yes, So you.
13:10
Use. To be only plural. Say
13:13
you had us a plural pronoun. For.
13:16
The second person and you had dow.
13:19
As a singular pronoun. And
13:21
then in the Renaissance or to the time. A
13:23
Shakespeare thou starts to fall out
13:25
of use as a singular. Obviously,
13:28
there's still a few communities in
13:30
the world that use our, but
13:32
most of us don't and you
13:34
took over the singular function. Said
13:37
that you have you are one
13:39
person. Or. You.
13:41
Are. Lots. Of people
13:43
and. Notice that it kept the plural
13:46
are. But. You are can
13:48
be singular now of course, some of
13:50
them. What you and I know is
13:52
that people have also develop new plural
13:54
variants. I. Don't know what yours
13:56
is for? I really wish that I
13:58
was a Y'all speaker. I do. They
14:00
are, so it's not part of my
14:02
grammar. I grew up outside the seas.
14:05
I can't pull it off with any
14:07
legitimacy. I really wish I could. I
14:09
use you all, which is a subtle
14:11
difference, but I can pull that off.
14:13
In Pittsburgh. people use. yeah, Yeah,
14:17
I live in Texas, I totally see ya, But I've
14:19
been single for like a long time because they come
14:21
from like. West. Central Illinois
14:23
like on the Mississippi River. Select people
14:25
do. Say. Y'all I feel
14:27
like or at least they did at camp. Somewhere.
14:30
I heard at oh. Absolutely all over
14:32
the falls. All over the
14:34
South you have y'all in African American
14:36
in this many speakers will use your
14:38
of it's a great pronoun so so
14:40
in any case, we go back. You
14:42
can be both singular and plural, so
14:45
when people say to me they cannot
14:47
be both singular and plural I say
14:49
well, that is not a very persuasive
14:51
argument because a ten and. More.
14:53
Importantly, it already is.
14:56
It. Already is particular burrow. So we've
14:58
been having this argument and and what
15:00
I try to help people see is
15:03
the argument is really. It's.
15:05
Not canopy. Singular, the question
15:07
has been are we allowed to
15:09
write it down Because we say
15:12
it. And there's no good
15:14
reason we can't read it down. So you
15:16
have that singular day and then more recently
15:18
and this is relatively recent. We have non
15:21
binary. They. Said this is
15:23
singular, they. For people whose pronoun
15:25
is not he or seats
15:27
who don't identify with in
15:29
that binaries and they is
15:31
there. Pronoun: And I think
15:33
it's really important you sometimes hear
15:36
people call it a preferred pronouns.
15:38
And I think it's much better to say it's.
15:40
People's pronoun. It's not that
15:43
they prefer it. In
15:45
the way one could say like i
15:47
prefer see no see is my pronoun.
15:49
They is other people's pronouns, so I
15:52
think that that's a a helpful distinction
15:54
for people to have on that. The
15:57
non binary day. He. Is
15:59
a real the important development. For.
16:01
People who need a pronouns that
16:04
is not he and it's not
16:06
see and it expresses their identity.
16:08
It's true to their identity and
16:10
sometimes people will say to me.
16:13
I don't think I should have to use
16:15
they as a singular pronoun and. My
16:17
responses. It is fundamentally
16:19
an. Issue of respect that
16:21
respecting people is respecting their
16:24
names. And respecting
16:26
their pronouns. ah, In.
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Plus. The
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Grammarians? When did
18:41
the... Who the fuck are they?
18:43
Were they like the literal grammar police? When
18:46
did they come about? Were they like... Were
18:48
they like in the... When were they? You
18:53
ask the best questions. Who are
18:55
these grammarians? And I
18:57
wish more people asked this question
18:59
and it's why I titled the
19:02
book, Irreverently, Says Who, that
19:04
we should be asking this question more
19:07
often when someone says double negatives
19:09
are illogical or
19:11
someone says they can't be singular.
19:14
We are allowed to ask the question, who
19:16
said that? And do I have to
19:19
believe that person? So
19:21
these grammarians in English, we
19:24
start to see the earliest grammars
19:26
in the 18th century-ish. That's when
19:28
they become popular. It is
19:31
a lot about class mobility. So
19:34
these grammars are a way
19:36
for people to quote-unquote
19:38
refine their English. And
19:41
this is when we're seeing the rise of the
19:44
middle class. Oh wait, when was this again? I think
19:46
my brain paused. So this is 1700. Wait, so the rise
19:49
of the middle class happened in the 1700s? 1700s to 1800s,
19:51
we're seeing the rise of the middle class
19:55
and we see these grammars come out.
19:58
So if we look at something like... singular
20:00
they, the earliest grammars that
20:02
talk about this are in the mid 18th century,
20:04
so mid 1700s. And
20:08
one of the really early ones is a grammar
20:10
by Anne Fisher, it's by a woman. And
20:12
she has this rule
20:14
in the book that says, the
20:17
masculine encompasses the feminine. So
20:19
in case you were wondering, John, the
20:22
masculine encompasses the feminine. And then she says,
20:25
for this reason, he
20:27
can be used for everyone. And
20:29
this gets picked up in this
20:31
grammar 1795, this grammarian named Lindley
20:35
Murray, he was an American. He
20:37
published this grammar called English Grammar,
20:39
a very, very creative
20:41
title. And it went
20:43
through dozens and dozens of editions, it
20:45
was highly influential. And in that grammar,
20:48
he takes a sentence with a
20:50
singular they. And that's important
20:53
because it means that Lindley Murray knew that
20:55
that's what people were saying, and
20:58
writing down. So he took that sentence
21:00
and he crosses out the they. And
21:03
he puts he and for 200 years,
21:06
we were stuck with this rule
21:08
that the correct singular
21:11
gender neutral pronoun was he.
21:13
And I'm old enough
21:15
that I grew up with that rule in
21:17
elementary schools, junior high school was that I
21:20
was supposed to write, a
21:22
teacher should learn his students names.
21:25
And that covered all teachers,
21:28
even though I will say, even at
21:30
a young age, it was quite clear to me that it
21:32
did not include me. The
21:34
first time we see them like talked
21:36
about is like the 1700s, or
21:39
did they exist like before that? Well, so
21:41
there have been grammarians for a long time.
21:43
And the question is what kinds
21:45
of books they were writing. So a
21:47
lot of the early grammars were designed
21:50
to help people learn a second language.
21:53
And we still use grammars that way. So you may
21:55
have a Latin grammar or a
21:57
German grammar to help you learn. a
22:00
language that is not the one that you grew up with.
22:03
What we see starting in the 1700s is these grammars
22:07
that really are usage guides.
22:09
They're not designed to help
22:11
you learn English. They're designed
22:13
to help you, quote-unquote, refine
22:16
your English so that you will
22:18
write and speak in particular ways
22:20
that are seen as better
22:23
or more educated, more civilized,
22:25
more educated, more correct, more
22:27
refined than other varieties. These
22:29
grammars are written to native
22:32
speakers of the language to
22:35
say, you need to improve
22:38
your language.
22:42
What is so powerful about these grammars
22:44
is that they naturalize the
22:46
sense that whatever variety they put out
22:48
there as the good or
22:50
the best use of English, what
22:52
has happened is that's been naturalized, that
22:55
that's just good English and that all
22:57
the rest of the kinds of English
22:59
that most of us speak most of
23:01
the time are somehow not
23:03
as good or even
23:06
wrong. A lot of kids in
23:08
school are told that they talk
23:10
wrong. I think that
23:12
that is devastating. If
23:15
you want to silence a kid, tell
23:18
them that they talk wrong, that their grammar
23:20
is bad. You're not
23:22
only telling them that they
23:25
talk wrong, but that their
23:27
mom talks wrong, their family,
23:29
their community. It's really powerful.
23:32
And I want to say as a linguist, it's
23:34
also ill-informed and
23:36
not accurate. They're
23:39
not wrong. They may be speaking a
23:41
variety that is not the standardized variety,
23:43
but it's a systematic variety. How has
23:45
all of this affected our society? What
23:47
do these
23:49
standardized, formalized rules say?
23:52
And what's their effect been on
23:54
culture and really America?
23:58
So many important questions packed in. there. Sorry.
24:02
No, it's cool. I love it. I
24:04
really do. And let's start with education because I
24:06
think it is really at the core of this.
24:10
And if I had a magic wand and I
24:12
could change something, it would be how we teach
24:14
language in school because
24:18
kids are curious about language because
24:20
I actually think humans in general are curious
24:23
about language. And in the
24:25
book, I talk about that every one of us
24:27
has an inner wordy in our head. And
24:30
this is the part of us that
24:32
loves language. And
24:34
it's clear from your questions. You're curious about
24:36
language. You enjoy it. People like to
24:38
play with language. They like to make up slang.
24:41
We know right now people are playing
24:44
Wordle and spelling bee and they rap.
24:47
We play. We love language.
24:50
Poetry. Poetry. It's fun. It's
24:52
beautiful. And when you can play with
24:54
it, we
24:56
should be nurturing that in school. And
24:59
what we should be doing, even
25:02
as early as elementary school, if you
25:04
think about elementary education, kids
25:06
are learning a tiny bit of chemistry,
25:08
a tiny bit
25:10
of biology, some geology.
25:13
Even if we don't call it physics, they're starting
25:15
to learn about things that are
25:18
physical. Gravity. Gravity.
25:21
They're learning some math. And then with
25:23
language, we start
25:25
with this very prescriptive
25:27
place, these rules that have been handed
25:29
down for generations as if that's
25:32
what it means to study language. But
25:34
no, we should start with how
25:36
does language work? Where do
25:39
dialects come from? Why do people in
25:41
Texas speak differently from people in Michigan?
25:44
How do they speak differently? Help
25:46
kids answer the questions about
25:49
how language actually works, including,
25:51
for example, who
25:53
wrote the dictionaries that you're using?
25:57
I was never allowed to ask
25:59
that question. I didn't even know that was
26:01
a question. Did you know that was a question? No,
26:03
who didn't? I ate those suckers. I asked too many
26:05
before, so we gotta, stay on your
26:07
train of thought. Yeah, no, we're gonna go there
26:10
because if you think about early childhood
26:12
in your classroom, there are dictionaries, and
26:14
now online there are dictionaries. So quote
26:17
unquote, what does a word mean?
26:19
And people say, go look it
26:21
up in the dictionary as if
26:23
there is only one, when of
26:26
course, there are many, many published
26:28
by different publishers with different editors
26:30
and different philosophies. And
26:32
we should be able to ask who
26:34
wrote that, when was it published, because
26:37
also language changes, and so it might
26:39
not be up to date. And my
26:41
Shania Twain brain, I literally, cause
26:45
I was like, when you first started seeing this,
26:47
I was like, well, really a dictionary just is
26:49
like, it's like how it's spelled, but then it's
26:51
the description, like the
26:53
description of what the word means
26:55
that's so important and like
26:57
how it's supposed to be used. Exactly,
27:00
and that dictionaries are an
27:02
amazing resource. The people who
27:04
write them are highly trained.
27:07
They are also human beings with human
27:09
bias. And so we can think
27:12
about the ways in which historically,
27:14
for example, they defined marriage.
27:17
And now many dictionary editors
27:19
have revised that definition because
27:22
they're trying to capture the way
27:24
the word is being used. And
27:27
it's, people often go
27:29
to dictionaries to find out, what
27:31
does that word mean? What does it really
27:33
mean? Or they'll say, is it really a
27:35
word by which they use it in a
27:37
dictionary? And of course there are many words
27:40
that are words. A word is a
27:42
set of sounds that
27:44
you and I can use to communicate to
27:46
each other with a shared meaning. And if it's new,
27:48
it might not be in a dictionary yet, but
27:50
it's still a word. But so
27:52
people go to find quote unquote, the
27:54
answers. If you talk to dictionary
27:57
editors, and I actually am friends with dictionary editors, so
27:59
I get to talk. to them all the time,
28:01
they will say, we are just
28:03
trying to keep up with all of you. That
28:06
you keep changing the language, words mean
28:09
different things. We are tracking you all.
28:11
We're tracking the writing and the speech
28:13
that is being produced. And
28:15
then as something changes, we're trying to
28:17
update our dictionaries so that
28:20
we can keep up with the way
28:22
language is changing. And we can
28:24
take a word like peruse.
28:27
Is that a word that you use,
28:29
the verb peruse? Yes. So what does
28:31
it mean for you? Go like do
28:33
a light look about the thing. Okay,
28:36
love that. That is the way almost everyone
28:38
uses it. One or
28:40
two generations back, it actually
28:42
meant to read carefully or to
28:45
pour over. What? And
28:47
if you go into most dictionaries, the first
28:50
definition will be to read
28:52
carefully or to pour over. And
28:54
then for example, in the American
28:56
Heritage Dictionary, they have the second
28:58
definition and they preface it with
29:01
usage problem. And
29:03
then they have skim or
29:05
scan. My mind is blown.
29:15
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29:17
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29:19
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29:21
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29:27
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29:29
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29:31
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29:34
upon the wall of separation between
29:36
church and state. Christian nationalists
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Taylor Brands. I
31:06
always used to refer
31:08
to things as like, she, she, she,
31:10
like, like a shampoo, like anything, like
31:13
anything could be a she. Then
31:15
I had some people tell me how like, really
31:17
it's a little bit like, it's
31:19
giving a little bit like patriarchal if you dig into it
31:21
a little deeper, because it's like, like, why can't it be
31:24
a he? Why isn't it funny if the shampoo is a
31:26
he? Why does it have to be a she? That's
31:28
like into this idea of like being
31:31
hysterical, being, you know, these like, it
31:33
just, there's misogyny in that. And I
31:35
don't want to be misogynistic. So I
31:38
sometimes it still slips out, but I like, I try
31:40
not to like gender inanimate
31:42
objects. And then another thing was, is
31:45
it like, and you mentioned AAV
31:47
or AAV earlier, I
31:49
think before I understood
31:51
like our history, like
31:53
a lot of things. And
31:56
I've been called out on this on tech talk, like lots
31:58
of times that like, you know, the
32:00
way that like white queer men, and then
32:03
I'm like, I'm not binary, but whatever sign,
32:05
um, will co-opt this language that was really
32:07
created by black women, but that has caused
32:09
me to like, have to do
32:12
work around myself. And I noticed that like,
32:14
I would kind of like code switch. Like I
32:16
would like talk differently if I was like with
32:18
this person or that person. And so then I
32:20
was like, Oh, maybe I don't really like this.
32:23
That actually kind of makes me feel cringy now
32:25
that I understand like more things. So it's like
32:27
our language does evolve with what we know. And
32:29
that's okay. But I think it can
32:31
trigger so much of this, like, am I a bad person?
32:33
Like, am I, like, it's just the
32:35
guilt and the shame. So even, I think it's such
32:37
an eye brain. It makes me want to cry, but
32:40
why do we, cause like, cause it did, it just
32:42
like totally touched my like shame about the way that
32:44
you come across like, and why does
32:46
this happen? I, again,
32:49
your openness to the
32:52
feedback about language is
32:55
inspiring and really important that
32:58
you're telling stories in which you're saying, you
33:00
know, and someone said this to me and
33:02
I rethought something about the way
33:04
I was speaking. And that
33:07
is exactly the interaction that I
33:09
hope we can have, which is that
33:13
we can be thoughtful speakers and
33:15
open to people saying, you know,
33:18
that language that you're used to using
33:21
is worth rethinking and that we
33:23
can be not defensive about that. The
33:25
other side of that is that we can
33:27
be generous listeners. And so when someone says
33:30
something that rubs us the wrong way,
33:32
we're like, uh, that we
33:34
give them the benefit of the doubt and say, now,
33:36
occasionally there are times where we don't give someone the
33:38
benefit of the doubt. We're like, I know you use
33:40
that language to harm, but that in a
33:42
lot of instances where we say, I don't
33:45
think that person meant harm and
33:47
I'm going to say something in a generous
33:49
way to say, you know,
33:51
here's how I heard that. Here's
33:54
what it felt like. But
33:57
The emotions run so high here, I Think
33:59
because. This is
34:01
about power. It's. Fundamentally,
34:04
their power is about the
34:06
power to say what is
34:08
acceptable and not acceptable was
34:10
harmful and not harmful. And
34:13
historically there have been some
34:15
groups. That. Have been socially
34:17
powerful and able to say this is the
34:19
right language and this is the wrong language
34:21
and everybody else has had to be very
34:24
careful about their language and we can think
34:26
of all the ways in which. Women
34:29
and Black. Speakers and have
34:31
had to be incredibly careful about
34:34
the words they use because the
34:36
consequences can be dire if you
34:38
use. The wrong words and one of the
34:40
things. That we're seeing in this movement that
34:42
people often called Political Correctness or Pcs. And
34:45
I know I can see this. but I'm
34:47
using scare quotes because people use that in
34:49
a whole range of ways. But what we're
34:51
seeing is that. Groups.
34:53
That have been historically marginalized.
34:57
Are. Getting the microphone and
34:59
are able to say.
35:01
That language. Is.
35:03
Offensive to us and we asking
35:06
you to use different language. And
35:08
sometimes he'll say to meet with this is new and
35:10
i'm like. Some other language
35:12
has been. Offensive for a long
35:14
time. It's just that people weren't
35:17
empowered. To. Get to say.
35:19
That. Language offensive. And
35:21
were at a moment where we
35:24
have more groups with microphones who
35:26
can say we're asking you to
35:28
rethink that uses and the key
35:30
is gonna be that for the
35:32
speakers who historically have been powerful.
35:35
Who. Haven't had to rethink their language because
35:37
they can say whatever they want, because
35:39
they. Are powerful. What I hope is
35:42
that they can adopt the attitude
35:44
jonathan that you've had which is to
35:46
listen when someone says i'm ask you
35:48
to rethink that. To. Be
35:51
open to that feedback and
35:53
say. Do I want to
35:55
use language that someone else is telling me
35:57
as offensive? Or. Is it worth.
36:00
rethinking. But I think the
36:02
emotions are high because what
36:04
I will have people say is, why do I
36:06
have to be so careful? And part of my
36:08
response is, you know, other speakers
36:11
have been careful the whole time.
36:14
I think generosity in the
36:16
space is really important and
36:18
giving people some grace. So
36:21
one of the ways I've found helpful to think about this
36:23
is that both intention
36:25
and reception matter. And
36:28
I think sometimes people want only one of them
36:30
to matter. They want to say, I didn't mean
36:32
it to be offensive, and therefore it doesn't
36:34
matter that you found it offensive. And
36:36
that's not the way language works. Or
36:39
people want to say, I heard that as
36:41
offensive. And so it doesn't matter if you
36:43
didn't mean it that way. It was
36:46
offensive and you're wrong. And they
36:48
both matter. And I think this is where we
36:50
can be generous, which is to recognize
36:52
people's intention. It does matter. But for
36:55
those of us as speakers, even if we
36:58
didn't intend it that way, to be open
37:00
to someone saying, well, this is how I heard it. And
37:02
then, and I think this is what you're describing, making
37:05
a decision of, okay,
37:09
I hear you and actually I think it's worth
37:11
changing. Or I hear you, but
37:13
actually I really don't mean it that way.
37:15
And I've appropriated it. And I'm
37:17
using it in a positive sense. And I'm going to
37:19
own that. But that we take
37:21
both of those seriously as we make
37:24
decisions. Decisions with lots
37:26
of data and input
37:29
about how to achieve
37:31
what we want to achieve. I didn't realize that this was
37:33
going to kind of turn into therapy, but I'm just going
37:35
to do a full send. Because
37:38
there's also a large history around, we
37:41
talked about pronouns as being gendered, but then
37:43
there's also a lot of perception on how
37:46
you come across with the language that you
37:48
speak. You're femme, you're butch, you're this. And
37:51
I wrote down earlier like, like,
37:53
I say like so much, I
37:55
can't help it. I've tried to,
37:57
I don't know I
38:00
don't know if it's my ADHD and I don't say that
38:02
lightly because I do have ADHD. I
38:05
don't know if it's the processor. I don't know if it's
38:07
a coping thing.
38:11
I try to slow down. I try not to say it,
38:13
but I kind of can't help it. And
38:17
then there's just the clearness of my voice. I've
38:20
never been able to... I do
38:22
jokes about how I can't sound straight. And
38:24
my impression of a straight
38:26
man is so funny because it's not
38:28
in my register. I
38:31
wish I could find it, but I just can't.
38:35
There's a field of study
38:37
here that is really important
38:39
around language and gender and
38:41
language and sexuality, around people's
38:43
expectations based on people's
38:46
gender and people's sexuality and what
38:48
it means to break those expectations.
38:52
So you're absolutely right
38:54
that when we break those expectations,
38:56
and there was a lot of work
38:58
early on that worked within the male-female
39:01
binary on this, sort of assuming heterosexuality and
39:03
that sort of thing, but that
39:06
women's speech was often read as
39:08
not powerful and not
39:11
assertive. And that was a way to be feminine.
39:13
And so there was this movement called
39:15
assertiveness training where women were trained to,
39:17
quote unquote, speak like straight men. And
39:21
when women do that, it goes
39:23
really badly. And
39:26
we know the B word that people
39:28
use when women speak
39:30
that way, that we
39:33
are all navigating this
39:35
complex web of expectations
39:38
about how different
39:40
groups speak, which are based on
39:42
stereotypes and all those sorts of things.
39:45
And we're navigating our way through that
39:47
as we're making decisions about how to get
39:49
done what we're trying to get done. Like
39:51
we're all trying to get stuff done. And
39:54
the question is how, with this audience,
39:56
given the expectations that I'm managing with
39:59
my identity, How am
40:01
I going to get that done? And
40:03
it is complicated terrain. And I was thinking
40:06
about that also as you
40:08
were talking about the ways in which some
40:10
words are getting appropriated or identity
40:12
terms shift. This is
40:15
really complicated territory. And I will hear
40:17
people say, you know,
40:19
I hear your message, Ann, that I should
40:21
be sensitive and thoughtful and I should listen
40:23
to the feedback and I want to be,
40:25
but I feel like things change
40:28
really fast. And, you
40:30
know, I was supposed to use this term and now I'm
40:32
supposed to use this term and how am I supposed to
40:34
keep up? And I
40:36
think you and I can both get that, that there
40:38
are some parts of the language that move fast. And
40:41
this is where I think we're
40:43
all in it together is to say, we
40:46
try to keep up. I actually don't think
40:48
it's too much to ask. If
40:50
you care about being respectful, you try to keep up.
40:53
But it also for me is about the generosity
40:56
is to recognize that it is fast
40:58
moving and complicated territory and people may
41:00
not always get it right when
41:03
they are well intentioned and
41:05
to give people again, give them some
41:07
grace. Yes, clean. It's the grace. It's
41:10
hard to come by these days. It is. It
41:12
is. Okay. Also,
41:15
what about swear words? We're
41:17
coming into home base. What
41:22
is the history of swear words? What does it mean? How
41:24
do they evolve? Oh, swear words, such an
41:26
interesting category of words. So the first thing to
41:28
say is that I'm going to call them taboo
41:31
words to start with because there are lots of
41:33
them. Swear words
41:35
are one category of them, but
41:37
we have taboo words around taboo
41:40
topics for many people. So death,
41:44
sex, particular body parts that
41:46
are seen as intimate. There are words that
41:48
people see as taboo. There
41:51
are epithets, the horrible things that
41:53
we say about other people, which
41:55
are taboo words. And then
41:57
there are swear words, curse words. Well,
42:01
I think one important message is
42:03
that all of these words fundamentally
42:05
show the power of language. That
42:08
there are words that we see as
42:10
so powerful that we either
42:13
don't say them or we're very, very
42:15
careful about saying them because
42:17
we know that they can be explosive.
42:20
So whenever somebody says, it's just words, I'm
42:23
like, it's almost never just
42:25
words. Words are really powerful. They're
42:28
part of our identity. They're how we respect
42:30
other people. There's a lot going on in
42:32
this space. But what's also
42:34
interesting about taboo words or swear words
42:37
is that in the name taboo words, there's
42:39
a suggestion that we can't say them. But of
42:42
course, we do say them a lot.
42:47
That when you do studies of how often people
42:49
swear, and it depends on what you count as
42:51
a swear word, but people
42:54
swear a good amount because swearing, it
42:57
can be offensive and a lot of people just
42:59
stop there. But it can also be funny. It
43:03
can be intimate. And I think
43:05
about this because, for example, when I'm at
43:07
work, I don't swear
43:09
for the most part. It's not
43:11
the identity I have at work. Yeah, I don't either. I
43:14
keep it pretty... Yeah. I'm
43:18
kidding, Ann. All I do is fucking
43:20
cuss everywhere I go. I'm like, I
43:22
got to get it the fuck together. I
43:25
want to be more like you, honey. Well,
43:27
no. I mean, it's just that in
43:30
the environment I work in, in the university, it's not the
43:32
way that I perform my identity in
43:34
that space. So for me,
43:36
it's a signal of intimacy with
43:38
my friends and with my family
43:40
that I can let that guard
43:42
down and I can curse.
43:45
And I actually remember I was teaching this
43:47
in a graduate course at one point and
43:49
one of my graduate students said, I really
43:51
remember when I came to graduate school, I
43:53
was being super careful and I never curse
43:55
because actually I do curse a lot and
43:57
I didn't. And then I remember when I
43:59
felt... But I knew people well enough
44:02
that I could stop kind of performing
44:04
graduate student and I could be myself
44:06
and I could curse where I crossed
44:08
the cursing line. But I
44:11
thought it was just great. What
44:13
did you think about that trend? Did you see that trend
44:15
when the parents were letting their little kid go into the
44:17
bathroom with the phone and they'd be like, you're allowed to
44:19
cuss and say whatever words you went to in this bathroom
44:21
only. Just come out when you're, did
44:23
you see that? It was like everywhere on the internet. I
44:26
did not. But on the internet a couple months
44:28
ago, if you put on
44:30
TikTok, kids cussing, it probably
44:32
will come up. But these little toddlers would
44:35
be like, okay. And then the parent would leave the
44:37
bathroom with the phones recording. The kid would be like,
44:39
shit, fuck, bitch, damn, goddamn it.
44:42
Fuck, shit, fuck, goddamn.
44:46
These kids were hilarious. But
44:48
what is that? Does that
44:50
just mean kids are so perceptive
44:52
and get it so young? So
44:55
that's one thing. Yes, exactly. That they
44:57
sense that these words are powerful and
45:00
they pick up on them and then
45:02
they will say them and they get a
45:04
response from adults. So the kid says it and
45:06
they get a very strong response from adults. The
45:09
other thing that it's worth saying about swear
45:11
words is that they
45:13
seem to, we have a physical
45:15
response to them and
45:18
they actually seem to do some work. So they've
45:20
done these studies where they ask
45:22
college undergraduates because that's who they test
45:24
to hold their arm in a bucket
45:26
of ice water. And
45:29
the students who are allowed to curse actually
45:31
can keep their arm in the ice
45:34
water longer that it seems to release
45:36
the pain in some way. And we
45:38
can all imagine that. If
45:40
you stub your toe or something, what comes
45:42
out of your mouth at that moment? It
45:46
is usually not the word the. Yeah.
45:49
It's like, oh, that was, yeah, no, it's yeah, you're
45:51
definitely cussing. My Shania
45:53
brain took us all over the
45:55
place on this episode, which I think was part of the magic,
45:58
but really what we've talked about. is like
46:02
the policing of language
46:04
a little bit. Who gets to say what, how
46:06
does language evolve? So
46:08
I love the idea of
46:11
like a caretaker of language rather than a
46:13
gatekeeper of language. So how can we be
46:15
caretakers and not gatekeepers
46:18
with our language? I really appreciate
46:20
you bringing that up because it is
46:22
one of the fundamental messages I want
46:25
to get across, which is
46:27
to redefine what it means to
46:29
care deeply about language. Because
46:32
I think what has happened is
46:34
that there's a sense
46:36
that the people who care deeply are the
46:38
people who police other people's language and who
46:40
have a sense that there's one right way
46:42
and lots of wrong ways and that
46:46
the best caretakers are the people who
46:48
are enforcing those rules. And
46:50
I don't think that's right. I think
46:52
that caretaking of the language
46:54
is about understanding how it works. And
46:57
a couple of important things to understand is that
46:59
the language is always changing. It
47:01
is just a natural part of language. And
47:04
a second important thing to understand is that
47:07
the diversity of language is part of the
47:09
diversity of us. That
47:11
we are a diverse community of speakers
47:13
and we are going to speak in
47:15
a diverse set of ways. And
47:17
that is a rich and wonderful thing. And
47:20
we need to embrace that diversity. And
47:23
the third thing is that what
47:25
we learned is right and wrong
47:28
is actually not nearly as stable as
47:30
we think it is. And so to be
47:33
a caretaker is to understand those things and
47:36
then to observe the language around you
47:38
and think, what is
47:40
happening and how can I
47:42
use the language effectively? So one of the analogies I
47:44
came up with as I was writing the book, which
47:47
was really fun, was could we
47:49
adopt, first of all, the mindset
47:51
of a birder or a
47:53
birdwatcher, which is that
47:55
we see and hear things that are novel to
47:58
us. Maybe it's new. Maybe it's from a. variety
48:00
of the language and that
48:02
our response is to be curious, is
48:05
to say what is going
48:07
on over there? Where does that come from?
48:09
How does it work? Who says that? As
48:12
opposed to what I think is sometimes people's
48:14
reaction which is kill it, which is not
48:17
a very good attitude for a birder. So
48:20
there's that way of coming at
48:22
language and then to realize
48:24
that the goal is actually to
48:26
be effective speakers and writers. And
48:30
that we are speakers and writers in a
48:32
whole range of context. And
48:34
that one way of speaking and
48:36
writing is not going to be effective in all
48:38
those contexts. So to think about rather
48:41
than what's right and what's wrong, that
48:43
we do much better to think about
48:45
in this context with this audience given
48:48
my purpose, what is
48:51
the most effective way to use the language?
48:53
And that is going to vary
48:55
depending on all of those factors. And
48:57
that is being an informed,
49:00
careful, engaged speaker and writer
49:02
of the language. And really
49:05
it's like when I was saying like sometimes
49:07
I get feedback where it's like too strong.
49:09
It's like it's like it's giving me Goldilocks.
49:12
Like not too strong, not
49:14
too like soft,
49:16
like just kind of learning
49:19
how to be an arbiter of
49:21
the language in the way that we... that's
49:23
like most effective. Literally what you said.
49:25
It's efficacious language, hunty. And it means
49:27
that when we do it that way, and
49:30
this is of course the subtitle book,
49:32
first of all it's more fun because
49:34
we get to be curious. And
49:36
it is also kinder. It is
49:38
a more generous way to
49:41
approach other people and their
49:43
language. Yeah, I know. I
49:45
feel like that actually that was such a strong end.
49:47
And I think where language is going next is going
49:49
to be in our part two about like our eras
49:51
tour. Yeah, I mean that's that's giving eras tour. I
49:53
love you so hard not to like go right into
49:55
the L word on our first meeting, but like Ann,
49:57
it's not your fault. They have such a...
50:00
and hit me hard. Well, you
50:02
ask, your questions are
50:04
so spot on. That was
50:06
a gorgeous place to end, but then I keep thinking
50:08
of one more, but maybe this will be the last
50:10
one, but we'll see based off of your response. The
50:14
Tortured Poets Department, Taylor Swift,
50:17
linguist like, honey,
50:19
like she's giving us linguistics. Have
50:21
you listened to it? I
50:24
have not. So this will not be the best
50:26
place to end, but I'm going to go listen to it. I'll
50:29
tell you something right now. I'd
50:31
rather burn my whole life down
50:33
than listen to one more second
50:35
of all your bitch in the
50:37
morning. That's like, it's
50:39
one of my favorite lyrics from this album. I'm
50:41
sorry. I don't sing like her.
50:44
Um, you don't want to hear me sing at all
50:46
ever. And you got to like
50:48
get into some, the Tortured Poets Department. I just
50:50
think as a linguist you
50:52
and also Ariana Grande, I just feel like
50:54
both of these artists would
50:57
really, you would love how
50:59
they are using linguistics up in their music.
51:01
It is so fucking
51:04
genius. I can't stand it. And I know
51:06
this about both of them and I have been a little
51:09
distracted. Why? Because
51:11
you're just like a Dean of like a
51:13
major college in the middle of like a
51:15
gigantic political upheaval that we haven't seen since
51:17
like the seventies or something. I
51:19
can hardly wait to go do that. So
51:22
I'm going to do that this weekend. With
51:24
like a little bath soak. With a little
51:27
bath soak with some Tortured Poets Department. That's
51:29
what I'm going to do as I take
51:31
a long bath. And also that'll be good
51:33
for you to become a Swifty in preparation
51:35
for our next interview because then you'll really
51:37
vibe with like the eras, like the
51:40
eras, um, like analogy or metaphor. This
51:42
will make my niece very happy because
51:44
she's a total Swifty and she has
51:46
been wanting me to get on board
51:48
here and I'm absolutely willing to get
51:50
on board. I just haven't had time
51:52
to get on board. So I'm going
51:54
to make it. We got
51:56
to get, yeah, I've got to clear a little space of time for
51:58
Taylor. I know that you. do have your
52:01
hands, like supporting the community
52:03
through it. Come
52:05
on. And well, we got to have you back for part
52:07
two. We're going on a history tour and thank you so
52:10
much for coming on, getting curious. We appreciate you so much.
52:12
Oh, thank you. This was such
52:15
fun. If you were as riveted as
52:17
I was in that episode, please
52:19
get Ann's book. It is so
52:22
fascinating. It's
52:24
available wherever you get your books. Again, it's
52:26
called Says Who? A Kinder, Funner Usage Guide
52:28
for Everyone Who Cares About Words. You
52:31
guys get the book, Support Ann's Work. We're
52:33
obsessed. Did
52:35
we learn how I can be more effective with language?
52:39
Yes. And no. Because
52:42
I didn't stop talking so much and we're definitely going to
52:44
have to have Ann come back for a second episode. It
52:46
wasn't because she didn't answer it effectively. It's because I
52:49
was so excited by everything that she said. I didn't let
52:51
her finish like half the questions.
52:54
But I do think I a little
52:56
bit have learned how to be more effective with language.
53:00
And I think this is the other thing. How
53:03
I've become less effective with
53:05
language and why I've gotten more scared of
53:07
language, I think, is because when
53:09
our language is criticized, it can
53:12
be so personal and that
53:14
can be tough and painful and it touches the shame and
53:18
the guilt. So I thought that was really interesting, but
53:20
there's a lot more that I found interesting. The
53:23
idea of being a caretaker of language
53:25
versus a gatekeeper of language, I thought
53:27
was interesting. Also because, and
53:30
I think Ann's work so much speaks to
53:33
respecting someone's POV and
53:36
being a generous listener, as she
53:38
was saying. I thought
53:40
that was fascinating that when you go
53:42
back hundreds of years, there's
53:44
evidence of them being a singular,
53:47
all the way back to Shakespeare times. And then
53:50
every kid who learns language reinvents it with
53:52
the peruse, that
53:56
was everything. And also What's
53:58
going on in our brains. These are language
54:01
also made. Tic toc an Instagram
54:03
algorithm recently started showing me like.
54:06
What I now know is a Spanish
54:08
linguists because they're like. Don't.
54:10
Have order your copy like this. Order it like
54:12
this to sound like more like in the the
54:14
Spanish speaker to die within like played out to
54:17
narrow on. Cafe is like can I have a
54:19
coffee it's within. This guy was like that sounds
54:21
super like how and in this weekend Christmas Aids
54:23
is that they would. Sell. Me on
54:25
cafe for for war or like. Cafe.
54:27
Pop of or and it's just like more
54:29
like natural sounding So of a while we
54:31
love you so much these recommend getting curious
54:33
as to go take a shower. I'm. And
54:36
ghosts in a tween and go in for gone of he
54:38
will have. You been
54:40
listening to? Getting Serious with Me. It's on
54:43
at the Center, Learn more about this week's
54:45
guess in their areas ecstasy and the episode
54:47
description and follow us on Instagram. As serious
54:49
as a Vn you can touch with your
54:51
every Wednesday and make sure to tune in
54:54
every Monday for episodes. A Pretty serious it's
54:56
we love with our podcast on Often Beauty
54:58
get into it. Still can't get enough. Any
55:00
want to go little spicy with us? He
55:02
can subscribe to Access Serious an Apple podcast
55:04
for commercial free listening and or. Subscription only
55:07
So as Cbn who were talking sex
55:09
really says had a really different ever
55:11
thought my mind that was our theme
55:13
Music is Free Bike Lane at think
55:15
you so much to her for letting
55:17
us use that are editor an engineer
55:19
as Nathaniel with we're Getting series of
55:22
Free By Me Christmas Were and Julie
55:24
Mlc with production support from Julie Korea
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