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How Can We Be More Effective With Language?

How Can We Be More Effective With Language?

Released Wednesday, 29th May 2024
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How Can We Be More Effective With Language?

How Can We Be More Effective With Language?

How Can We Be More Effective With Language?

How Can We Be More Effective With Language?

Wednesday, 29th May 2024
Good episode? Give it some love!
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Episode Transcript

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0:00

Darling, I was on a vacation

0:02

recently and stayed at an Airbnb, and

0:05

then I realized that while

0:07

I was away, my empty house

0:09

could be making money, honey. If

0:12

you're someone like me that is busy and

0:14

not home all the time, your home could

0:17

be an Airbnb, and it's actually pretty simple

0:19

to get started. Even if you don't have

0:21

a whole house, you could start with just

0:24

a spare room. Personally, I really

0:26

enjoy staying at Airbnb's. I really do. I

0:28

love a good Airbnb. Who is that? Come

0:30

back, British U. And it really is a

0:32

great way to support local economy and support

0:34

local people. So Airbnb is fabulous. And

0:36

I know I was doing my British voice earlier, but we

0:39

love Airbnb. So think about what

0:41

you could do with some extra cash. Whether you're

0:43

looking to treat yourself to something nice, like a

0:45

shopping spree or a spa day, or start a

0:47

whole side hustle, Airbnb can help you be that

0:50

person. Your home

0:52

might be worth more than

0:54

you think. Find out how

0:57

much at airbnb.com/host. Darling, I

0:59

was on a vacation recently and stayed at

1:02

an Airbnb. And then I

1:04

realized that while I was away,

1:06

my empty house could be

1:08

making money, honey. If

1:11

you're someone like me that is busy

1:13

and not home all the time, your

1:15

home could be an Airbnb. And

1:17

it's actually pretty simple to get started. Even if

1:19

you don't have a whole house, you could start

1:22

with just a spare room. Personally, I

1:24

really enjoy staying at Airbnb. I

1:26

really do. I love a good Airbnb. Who is

1:29

that? Come back, British U. And it really is

1:31

a great way to support local economy and support

1:33

local people. So Airbnb is fabulous. And I

1:35

know I was doing my British voice earlier, but we

1:37

love Airbnb. So think about what

1:39

you could do with some extra cash. Whether you're

1:41

looking to treat yourself to something nice, like a

1:44

shopping spree or a spa day, or start a

1:46

whole side hustle, Airbnb can help you be that

1:49

person. Your home

1:51

might be worth more than

1:53

you think. Find out how

1:55

much at airbnb.com/host. He

2:02

curious people. I'm Jonathan Venice and

2:04

welcome back to getting serious. You

2:07

guys. I. Have.

2:09

A Special updates I suppose him A

2:11

literally my name's Wayne last night's I

2:13

will talk about that one more time

2:15

in our interview with Our Guess Today.

2:17

But just the you know, A

2:19

little bit say twain. I. Asked

2:21

her literal career advice. She. Made

2:23

me cry last night. I. Have a

2:25

it a good way. I love Zinnia.

2:28

You're a goddess. End you slay. Sidebar:

2:31

Language. Linguistics. What's it

2:33

all about? How Alec.

2:36

Through. My career and really through

2:39

my life. I've. I. Love

2:41

language. I love vocabulary word.

2:43

I. I love a

2:45

moto. In fact in fifth grade I

2:47

literally started a moto company were like

2:49

I made a list of words that

2:51

were like freezes the i invented like

2:53

I have always and in this other

2:55

could make lacerated like arrival fucking moto

2:57

company and then art teacher miss Rescue

2:59

who also is the one who got

3:02

me obsessive finland ah because she was

3:04

like finish the shut down our company's

3:06

she's that was causing too much faith

3:08

in the class so our our motto

3:10

company got shut down but. I'd

3:12

be been such a public figure and. I'm

3:15

a writer, I'm a comedian A and

3:17

also just suddenly I'm interested in language

3:19

and had to have a lot of

3:21

conversations around language and how it's perceived

3:24

and how it comes across. And generally

3:26

I want to use language better. I

3:28

want to be more curious about how

3:30

it's a new language better missouri really

3:32

curious about like. How. Language

3:34

of the ball to how it's changed and

3:36

like. How are languages police?

3:38

both like in real life and on

3:40

social like media? And if there's a

3:42

difference to talk about this and so

3:44

much more. And you guys just like.

3:47

This one of our like I just it's giving me like. Just

3:50

this episode is so fucking good. You guys

3:52

to talk about this. We're bringing And and

3:54

Curzon. To ask: how can we

3:56

use our language more effectively. Let's.

3:58

Find out more about he incurs

4:00

on his the Dean of Literature,

4:02

Science and the Earth at the

4:04

University of Michigan where she also

4:06

teaches courses on the history of

4:08

English English grammar, language and gender

4:10

and the dynamics of conversations. She's

4:12

a train linguists in history and

4:14

of the English language. protect talk

4:16

at you and called what makes

4:18

the word real has over two

4:20

million views on the national Ted

4:23

site see earn her be a

4:25

Linguistics from Yale University and her

4:27

Phd in English Language and Literature

4:29

from the University. Of Michigan. Oh

4:31

My. God. Her credentials are so

4:33

major and I definitely midnight last

4:35

night. Oh My. God. A. Her.

4:37

Book says who are kind or fun

4:39

or usage guide for everyone who cares

4:41

about words. Just came out on March

4:43

twenty six. And walk into

4:46

the show how are you? I'm great

4:48

and I am delighted to be here.

4:50

Thank you so much for inviting me

4:52

to join you in! Some of my

4:54

favorite people in the universe have been

4:57

named an like my assistant oil have

4:59

so much as name is an my

5:01

grandma's name was an i Love Ends

5:03

so. Thank. You for coming

5:05

to you Birch searing you are expertise

5:07

with us am because you're really doing

5:10

it just and are in for we're

5:12

talking about. Your tenure

5:14

which is just like. Stunning.

5:16

Like you've done so many cool things

5:18

and you're a linguist. Make. When.

5:21

Did you realize that you wanted to be a linguist

5:23

For you? Like. Young are you

5:25

like in school? Like when were you mining?

5:27

Like how are you minding your own business

5:29

and then like the linguistics bug Just gotcha.

5:33

Jonathan I love starting

5:35

with this question because.

5:38

I went to college as a math. Major.

5:42

i didn't know what linguistics was

5:44

i of course went to college

5:46

before the internet i'm old enough

5:48

that that is this true and

5:51

i knew there was something out

5:53

there called linguistics i was a

5:55

really massey kid i liked martha

5:57

was good at math I

6:00

was also interested in languages, and I

6:02

liked languages. So I went to college

6:04

as a math major, and I took an

6:06

introductory linguistics course just to figure out

6:08

what it was. And I would

6:11

guess some of our listeners are also like, well,

6:13

Anne, what is it? So

6:16

it's the scientific or systematic

6:18

study of language in

6:21

general, or languages specifically. And

6:24

that course was interesting enough

6:27

that I thought, well, I'll take a second course.

6:29

And my sophomore year in college, I took a

6:31

course called the History of

6:33

the English Language, and it changed

6:35

my life. I loved it. This

6:39

professor, whose name was Marie Boroff,

6:42

knew the answer to questions that I

6:44

hadn't realized I wanted to know the

6:46

answer to, but... Oh, like tell us

6:48

one, tell us one. So

6:52

when was double negation standard in

6:54

the English language? Why is

6:56

kernel spelled with an L and

6:58

pronounced with an R? You

7:01

can answer that question if you

7:03

study the history of English. And I fell

7:06

in love, and I became a

7:08

linguistics major. And here I am 35

7:10

years later, still

7:13

studying the history of English. We've learned a

7:15

lot on the pod about things that ended

7:17

up having, this is a little bit of

7:19

a right term, but I'm just curious, especially

7:21

with where we are just

7:24

currently in the world. Yeah.

7:27

Like the history of the calorie, the

7:29

BMI, a lot of these things

7:31

have so much racism and

7:33

there's eugenics folded into it, which

7:35

is really intense, things

7:37

that you wouldn't even know, but it's

7:39

racism and the misogyny and the patriarchy,

7:41

it really seeped its way into all

7:44

up in this culture. How does

7:46

that history interplay into linguistics? Does

7:49

the linguistic academic community talk about

7:51

this? Is there a spectrum there

7:53

where people are like, oh,

7:55

get off that stuff. Like let's just talk about double

7:57

negatives and participles. And then is

7:59

there other? people they're like, no, we really need

8:01

to reckon with some of the ways

8:03

that like language was used to like, enforce

8:06

like class or perception or like how someone

8:08

is like received because if they didn't, you

8:10

know, get enough education and then they weren't

8:12

like, seen as like

8:15

deserving of respect or whatever. That was

8:17

a lot. I'm sorry. Oh, but

8:19

it is such an important

8:21

question. And the two pieces

8:24

that you said, is it one or the

8:26

other? And I would say actually, they're closely

8:28

linked together. And the

8:30

fact that language

8:32

matters for those fundamental

8:35

social questions is why

8:37

I stayed in the field. And it

8:39

was in graduate school that I had an advisor

8:42

who helped me see how linguistics

8:45

matters for real people in

8:47

real time in real educational

8:49

systems, because

8:52

we judge people

8:54

and discriminate against people based on

8:56

their language. So

8:58

the stakes are high. Language

9:01

is also a key part

9:03

of who we are. Sometimes people

9:05

will say, language is just like clothes, you can

9:07

put it on or take it off. And, and

9:10

I say, no, language is part

9:12

of our identity. It's part of

9:14

the communities in which we grew

9:16

up, and then the communities with

9:18

which we identify.

9:21

So it's a big part of us. And

9:23

when people criticize our language, it

9:25

can feel very personal because they're

9:28

criticizing a really foundational part of

9:31

our identities. That also just my intrusive

9:33

thought went into they

9:35

them pronouns, because that's such a genderqueer

9:38

person, like, I didn't really get

9:41

exposed to that language or under but I

9:43

mean, this was a feeling and an identity

9:45

that I'd always had. But then when I

9:47

met a look then I really

9:49

understood that's a good friend of mine. We

9:52

did an episode on this podcast and like a for

9:55

the show on Netflix. But Once

9:57

I learned the language, I was like, Wow. These

10:00

are the words that I been like

10:02

searching for describe how I experienced gender.

10:04

At my experience of gender and being

10:06

able to tell the difference between. Sachs.

10:09

Engender like. That's.

10:12

A huge thing bit. I think no

10:14

one's arguing or in biology. although we

10:16

kind of our because intersex people aren't

10:18

really ever factored into the conversation like

10:20

where they said beats. Because even biologically

10:22

like it's you know we know that

10:24

it's not fully of such a cut

10:27

and dry mary, even though there's like

10:29

a. You. Know there is more

10:31

of a majority but is still is like a

10:33

drum that. What about the

10:35

them pronouns and singular us like what can

10:38

I say that did you see that like

10:40

clipper that British lady it's like on that

10:42

British new so so and she was all

10:44

like refusing to use they them pronouns with

10:47

that like cool journalist and so I just

10:49

my views acts in sydney not say you

10:51

have we ever done they them pronoun for

10:53

a singular can you school that lady or

10:56

or wyatt. Oh. I have

10:58

such strong feelings on this I would

11:00

love to see if. I

11:03

had spent. For. Better

11:05

or worse, pretty much my entire

11:07

career thinking about pronouns and thinking

11:09

about singular day. So thank you

11:11

for asking. I'm gonna climb right

11:13

up until my soapbox. let me

11:15

get it up or yeah, nice.

11:17

Here we go. Yes, I'm

11:21

gonna start with the fact that

11:23

we have to have two different

11:25

uses a singular day that I

11:28

think are worth distinguishing. One is

11:30

really old and this is what

11:32

I would call center neutral. Singular.

11:35

They this would be they and

11:37

something like a teacher said learn

11:39

their students' names. Were.

11:41

Were talking about any teacher. This

11:43

is a teacher whose gender is

11:46

irrelevant to this conversation. A teacher

11:48

said learn their students' names or.

11:51

Someone. Who knows where they're going.

11:54

Rights. As someone, it's clearly singular.

11:56

Who knows where they are going?

12:00

Now a lotta people think that's new

12:02

and. I'm here to say as

12:04

a historian of the English language,

12:06

it is hundreds and hundreds of

12:08

years old. We have evidence back

12:10

to the thirteen hundred, Fourteen hundreds

12:12

of singular they. Said

12:15

that one even though in the

12:17

eighteenth century grammarians decided to say

12:19

it was wrong. It's

12:22

never. it's not wrong, it's and so

12:24

here I'll do a little schooling to

12:26

people will say to me and they

12:28

had not be singular. And

12:31

I say but it is and they say

12:33

but it can't be of I say but

12:35

it is Quit is not a very interesting

12:37

arguments to have but if you listen to

12:39

the way we speak. And. This is

12:41

true of: American, English, British, English, Australian, English.

12:44

The list goes on. They

12:46

is singular because we can say someone who

12:48

knows where they're going to give us directions.

12:52

The and then they'll say but a pronoun. Can't

12:54

be singular and plural at the same

12:56

time. With

12:58

is a really funny arguments make about

13:01

English because we already have a pronoun

13:03

that is singular and plural at the

13:05

same time, which is, and that is

13:07

you. Yes, So you.

13:10

Use. To be only plural. Say

13:13

you had us a plural pronoun. For.

13:16

The second person and you had dow.

13:19

As a singular pronoun. And

13:21

then in the Renaissance or to the time. A

13:23

Shakespeare thou starts to fall out

13:25

of use as a singular. Obviously,

13:28

there's still a few communities in

13:30

the world that use our, but

13:32

most of us don't and you

13:34

took over the singular function. Said

13:37

that you have you are one

13:39

person. Or. You.

13:41

Are. Lots. Of people

13:43

and. Notice that it kept the plural

13:46

are. But. You are can

13:48

be singular now of course, some of

13:50

them. What you and I know is

13:52

that people have also develop new plural

13:54

variants. I. Don't know what yours

13:56

is for? I really wish that I

13:58

was a Y'all speaker. I do. They

14:00

are, so it's not part of my

14:02

grammar. I grew up outside the seas.

14:05

I can't pull it off with any

14:07

legitimacy. I really wish I could. I

14:09

use you all, which is a subtle

14:11

difference, but I can pull that off.

14:13

In Pittsburgh. people use. yeah, Yeah,

14:17

I live in Texas, I totally see ya, But I've

14:19

been single for like a long time because they come

14:21

from like. West. Central Illinois

14:23

like on the Mississippi River. Select people

14:25

do. Say. Y'all I feel

14:27

like or at least they did at camp. Somewhere.

14:30

I heard at oh. Absolutely all over

14:32

the falls. All over the

14:34

South you have y'all in African American

14:36

in this many speakers will use your

14:38

of it's a great pronoun so so

14:40

in any case, we go back. You

14:42

can be both singular and plural, so

14:45

when people say to me they cannot

14:47

be both singular and plural I say

14:49

well, that is not a very persuasive

14:51

argument because a ten and. More.

14:53

Importantly, it already is.

14:56

It. Already is particular burrow. So we've

14:58

been having this argument and and what

15:00

I try to help people see is

15:03

the argument is really. It's.

15:05

Not canopy. Singular, the question

15:07

has been are we allowed to

15:09

write it down Because we say

15:12

it. And there's no good

15:14

reason we can't read it down. So you

15:16

have that singular day and then more recently

15:18

and this is relatively recent. We have non

15:21

binary. They. Said this is

15:23

singular, they. For people whose pronoun

15:25

is not he or seats

15:27

who don't identify with in

15:29

that binaries and they is

15:31

there. Pronoun: And I think

15:33

it's really important you sometimes hear

15:36

people call it a preferred pronouns.

15:38

And I think it's much better to say it's.

15:40

People's pronoun. It's not that

15:43

they prefer it. In

15:45

the way one could say like i

15:47

prefer see no see is my pronoun.

15:49

They is other people's pronouns, so I

15:52

think that that's a a helpful distinction

15:54

for people to have on that. The

15:57

non binary day. He. Is

15:59

a real the important development. For.

16:01

People who need a pronouns that

16:04

is not he and it's not

16:06

see and it expresses their identity.

16:08

It's true to their identity and

16:10

sometimes people will say to me.

16:13

I don't think I should have to use

16:15

they as a singular pronoun and. My

16:17

responses. It is fundamentally

16:19

an. Issue of respect that

16:21

respecting people is respecting their

16:24

names. And respecting

16:26

their pronouns. ah, In.

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Plus. The

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Grammarians? When did

18:41

the... Who the fuck are they?

18:43

Were they like the literal grammar police? When

18:46

did they come about? Were they like... Were

18:48

they like in the... When were they? You

18:53

ask the best questions. Who are

18:55

these grammarians? And I

18:57

wish more people asked this question

18:59

and it's why I titled the

19:02

book, Irreverently, Says Who, that

19:04

we should be asking this question more

19:07

often when someone says double negatives

19:09

are illogical or

19:11

someone says they can't be singular.

19:14

We are allowed to ask the question, who

19:16

said that? And do I have to

19:19

believe that person? So

19:21

these grammarians in English, we

19:24

start to see the earliest grammars

19:26

in the 18th century-ish. That's when

19:28

they become popular. It is

19:31

a lot about class mobility. So

19:34

these grammars are a way

19:36

for people to quote-unquote

19:38

refine their English. And

19:41

this is when we're seeing the rise of the

19:44

middle class. Oh wait, when was this again? I think

19:46

my brain paused. So this is 1700. Wait, so the rise

19:49

of the middle class happened in the 1700s? 1700s to 1800s,

19:51

we're seeing the rise of the middle class

19:55

and we see these grammars come out.

19:58

So if we look at something like... singular

20:00

they, the earliest grammars that

20:02

talk about this are in the mid 18th century,

20:04

so mid 1700s. And

20:08

one of the really early ones is a grammar

20:10

by Anne Fisher, it's by a woman. And

20:12

she has this rule

20:14

in the book that says, the

20:17

masculine encompasses the feminine. So

20:19

in case you were wondering, John, the

20:22

masculine encompasses the feminine. And then she says,

20:25

for this reason, he

20:27

can be used for everyone. And

20:29

this gets picked up in this

20:31

grammar 1795, this grammarian named Lindley

20:35

Murray, he was an American. He

20:37

published this grammar called English Grammar,

20:39

a very, very creative

20:41

title. And it went

20:43

through dozens and dozens of editions, it

20:45

was highly influential. And in that grammar,

20:48

he takes a sentence with a

20:50

singular they. And that's important

20:53

because it means that Lindley Murray knew that

20:55

that's what people were saying, and

20:58

writing down. So he took that sentence

21:00

and he crosses out the they. And

21:03

he puts he and for 200 years,

21:06

we were stuck with this rule

21:08

that the correct singular

21:11

gender neutral pronoun was he.

21:13

And I'm old enough

21:15

that I grew up with that rule in

21:17

elementary schools, junior high school was that I

21:20

was supposed to write, a

21:22

teacher should learn his students names.

21:25

And that covered all teachers,

21:28

even though I will say, even at

21:30

a young age, it was quite clear to me that it

21:32

did not include me. The

21:34

first time we see them like talked

21:36

about is like the 1700s, or

21:39

did they exist like before that? Well, so

21:41

there have been grammarians for a long time.

21:43

And the question is what kinds

21:45

of books they were writing. So a

21:47

lot of the early grammars were designed

21:50

to help people learn a second language.

21:53

And we still use grammars that way. So you may

21:55

have a Latin grammar or a

21:57

German grammar to help you learn. a

22:00

language that is not the one that you grew up with.

22:03

What we see starting in the 1700s is these grammars

22:07

that really are usage guides.

22:09

They're not designed to help

22:11

you learn English. They're designed

22:13

to help you, quote-unquote, refine

22:16

your English so that you will

22:18

write and speak in particular ways

22:20

that are seen as better

22:23

or more educated, more civilized,

22:25

more educated, more correct, more

22:27

refined than other varieties. These

22:29

grammars are written to native

22:32

speakers of the language to

22:35

say, you need to improve

22:38

your language.

22:42

What is so powerful about these grammars

22:44

is that they naturalize the

22:46

sense that whatever variety they put out

22:48

there as the good or

22:50

the best use of English, what

22:52

has happened is that's been naturalized, that

22:55

that's just good English and that all

22:57

the rest of the kinds of English

22:59

that most of us speak most of

23:01

the time are somehow not

23:03

as good or even

23:06

wrong. A lot of kids in

23:08

school are told that they talk

23:10

wrong. I think that

23:12

that is devastating. If

23:15

you want to silence a kid, tell

23:18

them that they talk wrong, that their grammar

23:20

is bad. You're not

23:22

only telling them that they

23:25

talk wrong, but that their

23:27

mom talks wrong, their family,

23:29

their community. It's really powerful.

23:32

And I want to say as a linguist, it's

23:34

also ill-informed and

23:36

not accurate. They're

23:39

not wrong. They may be speaking a

23:41

variety that is not the standardized variety,

23:43

but it's a systematic variety. How has

23:45

all of this affected our society? What

23:47

do these

23:49

standardized, formalized rules say?

23:52

And what's their effect been on

23:54

culture and really America?

23:58

So many important questions packed in. there. Sorry.

24:02

No, it's cool. I love it. I

24:04

really do. And let's start with education because I

24:06

think it is really at the core of this.

24:10

And if I had a magic wand and I

24:12

could change something, it would be how we teach

24:14

language in school because

24:18

kids are curious about language because

24:20

I actually think humans in general are curious

24:23

about language. And in the

24:25

book, I talk about that every one of us

24:27

has an inner wordy in our head. And

24:30

this is the part of us that

24:32

loves language. And

24:34

it's clear from your questions. You're curious about

24:36

language. You enjoy it. People like to

24:38

play with language. They like to make up slang.

24:41

We know right now people are playing

24:44

Wordle and spelling bee and they rap.

24:47

We play. We love language.

24:50

Poetry. Poetry. It's fun. It's

24:52

beautiful. And when you can play with

24:54

it, we

24:56

should be nurturing that in school. And

24:59

what we should be doing, even

25:02

as early as elementary school, if you

25:04

think about elementary education, kids

25:06

are learning a tiny bit of chemistry,

25:08

a tiny bit

25:10

of biology, some geology.

25:13

Even if we don't call it physics, they're starting

25:15

to learn about things that are

25:18

physical. Gravity. Gravity.

25:21

They're learning some math. And then with

25:23

language, we start

25:25

with this very prescriptive

25:27

place, these rules that have been handed

25:29

down for generations as if that's

25:32

what it means to study language. But

25:34

no, we should start with how

25:36

does language work? Where do

25:39

dialects come from? Why do people in

25:41

Texas speak differently from people in Michigan?

25:44

How do they speak differently? Help

25:46

kids answer the questions about

25:49

how language actually works, including,

25:51

for example, who

25:53

wrote the dictionaries that you're using?

25:57

I was never allowed to ask

25:59

that question. I didn't even know that was

26:01

a question. Did you know that was a question? No,

26:03

who didn't? I ate those suckers. I asked too many

26:05

before, so we gotta, stay on your

26:07

train of thought. Yeah, no, we're gonna go there

26:10

because if you think about early childhood

26:12

in your classroom, there are dictionaries, and

26:14

now online there are dictionaries. So quote

26:17

unquote, what does a word mean?

26:19

And people say, go look it

26:21

up in the dictionary as if

26:23

there is only one, when of

26:26

course, there are many, many published

26:28

by different publishers with different editors

26:30

and different philosophies. And

26:32

we should be able to ask who

26:34

wrote that, when was it published, because

26:37

also language changes, and so it might

26:39

not be up to date. And my

26:41

Shania Twain brain, I literally, cause

26:45

I was like, when you first started seeing this,

26:47

I was like, well, really a dictionary just is

26:49

like, it's like how it's spelled, but then it's

26:51

the description, like the

26:53

description of what the word means

26:55

that's so important and like

26:57

how it's supposed to be used. Exactly,

27:00

and that dictionaries are an

27:02

amazing resource. The people who

27:04

write them are highly trained.

27:07

They are also human beings with human

27:09

bias. And so we can think

27:12

about the ways in which historically,

27:14

for example, they defined marriage.

27:17

And now many dictionary editors

27:19

have revised that definition because

27:22

they're trying to capture the way

27:24

the word is being used. And

27:27

it's, people often go

27:29

to dictionaries to find out, what

27:31

does that word mean? What does it really

27:33

mean? Or they'll say, is it really a

27:35

word by which they use it in a

27:37

dictionary? And of course there are many words

27:40

that are words. A word is a

27:42

set of sounds that

27:44

you and I can use to communicate to

27:46

each other with a shared meaning. And if it's new,

27:48

it might not be in a dictionary yet, but

27:50

it's still a word. But so

27:52

people go to find quote unquote, the

27:54

answers. If you talk to dictionary

27:57

editors, and I actually am friends with dictionary editors, so

27:59

I get to talk. to them all the time,

28:01

they will say, we are just

28:03

trying to keep up with all of you. That

28:06

you keep changing the language, words mean

28:09

different things. We are tracking you all.

28:11

We're tracking the writing and the speech

28:13

that is being produced. And

28:15

then as something changes, we're trying to

28:17

update our dictionaries so that

28:20

we can keep up with the way

28:22

language is changing. And we can

28:24

take a word like peruse.

28:27

Is that a word that you use,

28:29

the verb peruse? Yes. So what does

28:31

it mean for you? Go like do

28:33

a light look about the thing. Okay,

28:36

love that. That is the way almost everyone

28:38

uses it. One or

28:40

two generations back, it actually

28:42

meant to read carefully or to

28:45

pour over. What? And

28:47

if you go into most dictionaries, the first

28:50

definition will be to read

28:52

carefully or to pour over. And

28:54

then for example, in the American

28:56

Heritage Dictionary, they have the second

28:58

definition and they preface it with

29:01

usage problem. And

29:03

then they have skim or

29:05

scan. My mind is blown.

29:15

Hey, it's Jonathan Van Ness. Americans

29:17

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29:19

State defends your freedom to live as

29:21

yourself and believe as you choose, so

29:24

long as you don't harm others. Core

29:27

freedoms like abortion rights, marriage

29:29

equality, public education, and even

29:31

American democracy itself, rest

29:34

upon the wall of separation between

29:36

church and state. Christian nationalists

29:38

are attacking these freedoms seeking to

29:40

force us all to live by

29:42

their narrow beliefs. Americans

29:45

United is fighting back. Freedom

29:48

without favor and equality

29:50

without exception. Learn more

29:53

about AU at au.org/curious.

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Taylor Brands. I

31:06

always used to refer

31:08

to things as like, she, she, she,

31:10

like, like a shampoo, like anything, like

31:13

anything could be a she. Then

31:15

I had some people tell me how like, really

31:17

it's a little bit like, it's

31:19

giving a little bit like patriarchal if you dig into it

31:21

a little deeper, because it's like, like, why can't it be

31:24

a he? Why isn't it funny if the shampoo is a

31:26

he? Why does it have to be a she? That's

31:28

like into this idea of like being

31:31

hysterical, being, you know, these like, it

31:33

just, there's misogyny in that. And I

31:35

don't want to be misogynistic. So I

31:38

sometimes it still slips out, but I like, I try

31:40

not to like gender inanimate

31:42

objects. And then another thing was, is

31:45

it like, and you mentioned AAV

31:47

or AAV earlier, I

31:49

think before I understood

31:51

like our history, like

31:53

a lot of things. And

31:56

I've been called out on this on tech talk, like lots

31:58

of times that like, you know, the

32:00

way that like white queer men, and then

32:03

I'm like, I'm not binary, but whatever sign,

32:05

um, will co-opt this language that was really

32:07

created by black women, but that has caused

32:09

me to like, have to do

32:12

work around myself. And I noticed that like,

32:14

I would kind of like code switch. Like I

32:16

would like talk differently if I was like with

32:18

this person or that person. And so then I

32:20

was like, Oh, maybe I don't really like this.

32:23

That actually kind of makes me feel cringy now

32:25

that I understand like more things. So it's like

32:27

our language does evolve with what we know. And

32:29

that's okay. But I think it can

32:31

trigger so much of this, like, am I a bad person?

32:33

Like, am I, like, it's just the

32:35

guilt and the shame. So even, I think it's such

32:37

an eye brain. It makes me want to cry, but

32:40

why do we, cause like, cause it did, it just

32:42

like totally touched my like shame about the way that

32:44

you come across like, and why does

32:46

this happen? I, again,

32:49

your openness to the

32:52

feedback about language is

32:55

inspiring and really important that

32:58

you're telling stories in which you're saying, you

33:00

know, and someone said this to me and

33:02

I rethought something about the way

33:04

I was speaking. And that

33:07

is exactly the interaction that I

33:09

hope we can have, which is that

33:13

we can be thoughtful speakers and

33:15

open to people saying, you know,

33:18

that language that you're used to using

33:21

is worth rethinking and that we

33:23

can be not defensive about that. The

33:25

other side of that is that we can

33:27

be generous listeners. And so when someone says

33:30

something that rubs us the wrong way,

33:32

we're like, uh, that we

33:34

give them the benefit of the doubt and say, now,

33:36

occasionally there are times where we don't give someone the

33:38

benefit of the doubt. We're like, I know you use

33:40

that language to harm, but that in a

33:42

lot of instances where we say, I don't

33:45

think that person meant harm and

33:47

I'm going to say something in a generous

33:49

way to say, you know,

33:51

here's how I heard that. Here's

33:54

what it felt like. But

33:57

The emotions run so high here, I Think

33:59

because. This is

34:01

about power. It's. Fundamentally,

34:04

their power is about the

34:06

power to say what is

34:08

acceptable and not acceptable was

34:10

harmful and not harmful. And

34:13

historically there have been some

34:15

groups. That. Have been socially

34:17

powerful and able to say this is the

34:19

right language and this is the wrong language

34:21

and everybody else has had to be very

34:24

careful about their language and we can think

34:26

of all the ways in which. Women

34:29

and Black. Speakers and have

34:31

had to be incredibly careful about

34:34

the words they use because the

34:36

consequences can be dire if you

34:38

use. The wrong words and one of the

34:40

things. That we're seeing in this movement that

34:42

people often called Political Correctness or Pcs. And

34:45

I know I can see this. but I'm

34:47

using scare quotes because people use that in

34:49

a whole range of ways. But what we're

34:51

seeing is that. Groups.

34:53

That have been historically marginalized.

34:57

Are. Getting the microphone and

34:59

are able to say.

35:01

That language. Is.

35:03

Offensive to us and we asking

35:06

you to use different language. And

35:08

sometimes he'll say to meet with this is new and

35:10

i'm like. Some other language

35:12

has been. Offensive for a long

35:14

time. It's just that people weren't

35:17

empowered. To. Get to say.

35:19

That. Language offensive. And

35:21

were at a moment where we

35:24

have more groups with microphones who

35:26

can say we're asking you to

35:28

rethink that uses and the key

35:30

is gonna be that for the

35:32

speakers who historically have been powerful.

35:35

Who. Haven't had to rethink their language because

35:37

they can say whatever they want, because

35:39

they. Are powerful. What I hope is

35:42

that they can adopt the attitude

35:44

jonathan that you've had which is to

35:46

listen when someone says i'm ask you

35:48

to rethink that. To. Be

35:51

open to that feedback and

35:53

say. Do I want to

35:55

use language that someone else is telling me

35:57

as offensive? Or. Is it worth.

36:00

rethinking. But I think the

36:02

emotions are high because what

36:04

I will have people say is, why do I

36:06

have to be so careful? And part of my

36:08

response is, you know, other speakers

36:11

have been careful the whole time.

36:14

I think generosity in the

36:16

space is really important and

36:18

giving people some grace. So

36:21

one of the ways I've found helpful to think about this

36:23

is that both intention

36:25

and reception matter. And

36:28

I think sometimes people want only one of them

36:30

to matter. They want to say, I didn't mean

36:32

it to be offensive, and therefore it doesn't

36:34

matter that you found it offensive. And

36:36

that's not the way language works. Or

36:39

people want to say, I heard that as

36:41

offensive. And so it doesn't matter if you

36:43

didn't mean it that way. It was

36:46

offensive and you're wrong. And they

36:48

both matter. And I think this is where we

36:50

can be generous, which is to recognize

36:52

people's intention. It does matter. But for

36:55

those of us as speakers, even if we

36:58

didn't intend it that way, to be open

37:00

to someone saying, well, this is how I heard it. And

37:02

then, and I think this is what you're describing, making

37:05

a decision of, okay,

37:09

I hear you and actually I think it's worth

37:11

changing. Or I hear you, but

37:13

actually I really don't mean it that way.

37:15

And I've appropriated it. And I'm

37:17

using it in a positive sense. And I'm going to

37:19

own that. But that we take

37:21

both of those seriously as we make

37:24

decisions. Decisions with lots

37:26

of data and input

37:29

about how to achieve

37:31

what we want to achieve. I didn't realize that this was

37:33

going to kind of turn into therapy, but I'm just going

37:35

to do a full send. Because

37:38

there's also a large history around, we

37:41

talked about pronouns as being gendered, but then

37:43

there's also a lot of perception on how

37:46

you come across with the language that you

37:48

speak. You're femme, you're butch, you're this. And

37:51

I wrote down earlier like, like,

37:53

I say like so much, I

37:55

can't help it. I've tried to,

37:57

I don't know I

38:00

don't know if it's my ADHD and I don't say that

38:02

lightly because I do have ADHD. I

38:05

don't know if it's the processor. I don't know if it's

38:07

a coping thing.

38:11

I try to slow down. I try not to say it,

38:13

but I kind of can't help it. And

38:17

then there's just the clearness of my voice. I've

38:20

never been able to... I do

38:22

jokes about how I can't sound straight. And

38:24

my impression of a straight

38:26

man is so funny because it's not

38:28

in my register. I

38:31

wish I could find it, but I just can't.

38:35

There's a field of study

38:37

here that is really important

38:39

around language and gender and

38:41

language and sexuality, around people's

38:43

expectations based on people's

38:46

gender and people's sexuality and what

38:48

it means to break those expectations.

38:52

So you're absolutely right

38:54

that when we break those expectations,

38:56

and there was a lot of work

38:58

early on that worked within the male-female

39:01

binary on this, sort of assuming heterosexuality and

39:03

that sort of thing, but that

39:06

women's speech was often read as

39:08

not powerful and not

39:11

assertive. And that was a way to be feminine.

39:13

And so there was this movement called

39:15

assertiveness training where women were trained to,

39:17

quote unquote, speak like straight men. And

39:21

when women do that, it goes

39:23

really badly. And

39:26

we know the B word that people

39:28

use when women speak

39:30

that way, that we

39:33

are all navigating this

39:35

complex web of expectations

39:38

about how different

39:40

groups speak, which are based on

39:42

stereotypes and all those sorts of things.

39:45

And we're navigating our way through that

39:47

as we're making decisions about how to get

39:49

done what we're trying to get done. Like

39:51

we're all trying to get stuff done. And

39:54

the question is how, with this audience,

39:56

given the expectations that I'm managing with

39:59

my identity, How am

40:01

I going to get that done? And

40:03

it is complicated terrain. And I was thinking

40:06

about that also as you

40:08

were talking about the ways in which some

40:10

words are getting appropriated or identity

40:12

terms shift. This is

40:15

really complicated territory. And I will hear

40:17

people say, you know,

40:19

I hear your message, Ann, that I should

40:21

be sensitive and thoughtful and I should listen

40:23

to the feedback and I want to be,

40:25

but I feel like things change

40:28

really fast. And, you

40:30

know, I was supposed to use this term and now I'm

40:32

supposed to use this term and how am I supposed to

40:34

keep up? And I

40:36

think you and I can both get that, that there

40:38

are some parts of the language that move fast. And

40:41

this is where I think we're

40:43

all in it together is to say, we

40:46

try to keep up. I actually don't think

40:48

it's too much to ask. If

40:50

you care about being respectful, you try to keep up.

40:53

But it also for me is about the generosity

40:56

is to recognize that it is fast

40:58

moving and complicated territory and people may

41:00

not always get it right when

41:03

they are well intentioned and

41:05

to give people again, give them some

41:07

grace. Yes, clean. It's the grace. It's

41:10

hard to come by these days. It is. It

41:12

is. Okay. Also,

41:15

what about swear words? We're

41:17

coming into home base. What

41:22

is the history of swear words? What does it mean? How

41:24

do they evolve? Oh, swear words, such an

41:26

interesting category of words. So the first thing to

41:28

say is that I'm going to call them taboo

41:31

words to start with because there are lots of

41:33

them. Swear words

41:35

are one category of them, but

41:37

we have taboo words around taboo

41:40

topics for many people. So death,

41:44

sex, particular body parts that

41:46

are seen as intimate. There are words that

41:48

people see as taboo. There

41:51

are epithets, the horrible things that

41:53

we say about other people, which

41:55

are taboo words. And then

41:57

there are swear words, curse words. Well,

42:01

I think one important message is

42:03

that all of these words fundamentally

42:05

show the power of language. That

42:08

there are words that we see as

42:10

so powerful that we either

42:13

don't say them or we're very, very

42:15

careful about saying them because

42:17

we know that they can be explosive.

42:20

So whenever somebody says, it's just words, I'm

42:23

like, it's almost never just

42:25

words. Words are really powerful. They're

42:28

part of our identity. They're how we respect

42:30

other people. There's a lot going on in

42:32

this space. But what's also

42:34

interesting about taboo words or swear words

42:37

is that in the name taboo words, there's

42:39

a suggestion that we can't say them. But of

42:42

course, we do say them a lot.

42:47

That when you do studies of how often people

42:49

swear, and it depends on what you count as

42:51

a swear word, but people

42:54

swear a good amount because swearing, it

42:57

can be offensive and a lot of people just

42:59

stop there. But it can also be funny. It

43:03

can be intimate. And I think

43:05

about this because, for example, when I'm at

43:07

work, I don't swear

43:09

for the most part. It's not

43:11

the identity I have at work. Yeah, I don't either. I

43:14

keep it pretty... Yeah. I'm

43:18

kidding, Ann. All I do is fucking

43:20

cuss everywhere I go. I'm like, I

43:22

got to get it the fuck together. I

43:25

want to be more like you, honey. Well,

43:27

no. I mean, it's just that in

43:30

the environment I work in, in the university, it's not the

43:32

way that I perform my identity in

43:34

that space. So for me,

43:36

it's a signal of intimacy with

43:38

my friends and with my family

43:40

that I can let that guard

43:42

down and I can curse.

43:45

And I actually remember I was teaching this

43:47

in a graduate course at one point and

43:49

one of my graduate students said, I really

43:51

remember when I came to graduate school, I

43:53

was being super careful and I never curse

43:55

because actually I do curse a lot and

43:57

I didn't. And then I remember when I

43:59

felt... But I knew people well enough

44:02

that I could stop kind of performing

44:04

graduate student and I could be myself

44:06

and I could curse where I crossed

44:08

the cursing line. But I

44:11

thought it was just great. What

44:13

did you think about that trend? Did you see that trend

44:15

when the parents were letting their little kid go into the

44:17

bathroom with the phone and they'd be like, you're allowed to

44:19

cuss and say whatever words you went to in this bathroom

44:21

only. Just come out when you're, did

44:23

you see that? It was like everywhere on the internet. I

44:26

did not. But on the internet a couple months

44:28

ago, if you put on

44:30

TikTok, kids cussing, it probably

44:32

will come up. But these little toddlers would

44:35

be like, okay. And then the parent would leave the

44:37

bathroom with the phones recording. The kid would be like,

44:39

shit, fuck, bitch, damn, goddamn it.

44:42

Fuck, shit, fuck, goddamn.

44:46

These kids were hilarious. But

44:48

what is that? Does that

44:50

just mean kids are so perceptive

44:52

and get it so young? So

44:55

that's one thing. Yes, exactly. That they

44:57

sense that these words are powerful and

45:00

they pick up on them and then

45:02

they will say them and they get a

45:04

response from adults. So the kid says it and

45:06

they get a very strong response from adults. The

45:09

other thing that it's worth saying about swear

45:11

words is that they

45:13

seem to, we have a physical

45:15

response to them and

45:18

they actually seem to do some work. So they've

45:20

done these studies where they ask

45:22

college undergraduates because that's who they test

45:24

to hold their arm in a bucket

45:26

of ice water. And

45:29

the students who are allowed to curse actually

45:31

can keep their arm in the ice

45:34

water longer that it seems to release

45:36

the pain in some way. And we

45:38

can all imagine that. If

45:40

you stub your toe or something, what comes

45:42

out of your mouth at that moment? It

45:46

is usually not the word the. Yeah.

45:49

It's like, oh, that was, yeah, no, it's yeah, you're

45:51

definitely cussing. My Shania

45:53

brain took us all over the

45:55

place on this episode, which I think was part of the magic,

45:58

but really what we've talked about. is like

46:02

the policing of language

46:04

a little bit. Who gets to say what, how

46:06

does language evolve? So

46:08

I love the idea of

46:11

like a caretaker of language rather than a

46:13

gatekeeper of language. So how can we be

46:15

caretakers and not gatekeepers

46:18

with our language? I really appreciate

46:20

you bringing that up because it is

46:22

one of the fundamental messages I want

46:25

to get across, which is

46:27

to redefine what it means to

46:29

care deeply about language. Because

46:32

I think what has happened is

46:34

that there's a sense

46:36

that the people who care deeply are the

46:38

people who police other people's language and who

46:40

have a sense that there's one right way

46:42

and lots of wrong ways and that

46:46

the best caretakers are the people who

46:48

are enforcing those rules. And

46:50

I don't think that's right. I think

46:52

that caretaking of the language

46:54

is about understanding how it works. And

46:57

a couple of important things to understand is that

46:59

the language is always changing. It

47:01

is just a natural part of language. And

47:04

a second important thing to understand is that

47:07

the diversity of language is part of the

47:09

diversity of us. That

47:11

we are a diverse community of speakers

47:13

and we are going to speak in

47:15

a diverse set of ways. And

47:17

that is a rich and wonderful thing. And

47:20

we need to embrace that diversity. And

47:23

the third thing is that what

47:25

we learned is right and wrong

47:28

is actually not nearly as stable as

47:30

we think it is. And so to be

47:33

a caretaker is to understand those things and

47:36

then to observe the language around you

47:38

and think, what is

47:40

happening and how can I

47:42

use the language effectively? So one of the analogies I

47:44

came up with as I was writing the book, which

47:47

was really fun, was could we

47:49

adopt, first of all, the mindset

47:51

of a birder or a

47:53

birdwatcher, which is that

47:55

we see and hear things that are novel to

47:58

us. Maybe it's new. Maybe it's from a. variety

48:00

of the language and that

48:02

our response is to be curious, is

48:05

to say what is going

48:07

on over there? Where does that come from?

48:09

How does it work? Who says that? As

48:12

opposed to what I think is sometimes people's

48:14

reaction which is kill it, which is not

48:17

a very good attitude for a birder. So

48:20

there's that way of coming at

48:22

language and then to realize

48:24

that the goal is actually to

48:26

be effective speakers and writers. And

48:30

that we are speakers and writers in a

48:32

whole range of context. And

48:34

that one way of speaking and

48:36

writing is not going to be effective in all

48:38

those contexts. So to think about rather

48:41

than what's right and what's wrong, that

48:43

we do much better to think about

48:45

in this context with this audience given

48:48

my purpose, what is

48:51

the most effective way to use the language?

48:53

And that is going to vary

48:55

depending on all of those factors. And

48:57

that is being an informed,

49:00

careful, engaged speaker and writer

49:02

of the language. And really

49:05

it's like when I was saying like sometimes

49:07

I get feedback where it's like too strong.

49:09

It's like it's like it's giving me Goldilocks.

49:12

Like not too strong, not

49:14

too like soft,

49:16

like just kind of learning

49:19

how to be an arbiter of

49:21

the language in the way that we... that's

49:23

like most effective. Literally what you said.

49:25

It's efficacious language, hunty. And it means

49:27

that when we do it that way, and

49:30

this is of course the subtitle book,

49:32

first of all it's more fun because

49:34

we get to be curious. And

49:36

it is also kinder. It is

49:38

a more generous way to

49:41

approach other people and their

49:43

language. Yeah, I know. I

49:45

feel like that actually that was such a strong end.

49:47

And I think where language is going next is going

49:49

to be in our part two about like our eras

49:51

tour. Yeah, I mean that's that's giving eras tour. I

49:53

love you so hard not to like go right into

49:55

the L word on our first meeting, but like Ann,

49:57

it's not your fault. They have such a...

50:00

and hit me hard. Well, you

50:02

ask, your questions are

50:04

so spot on. That was

50:06

a gorgeous place to end, but then I keep thinking

50:08

of one more, but maybe this will be the last

50:10

one, but we'll see based off of your response. The

50:14

Tortured Poets Department, Taylor Swift,

50:17

linguist like, honey,

50:19

like she's giving us linguistics. Have

50:21

you listened to it? I

50:24

have not. So this will not be the best

50:26

place to end, but I'm going to go listen to it. I'll

50:29

tell you something right now. I'd

50:31

rather burn my whole life down

50:33

than listen to one more second

50:35

of all your bitch in the

50:37

morning. That's like, it's

50:39

one of my favorite lyrics from this album. I'm

50:41

sorry. I don't sing like her.

50:44

Um, you don't want to hear me sing at all

50:46

ever. And you got to like

50:48

get into some, the Tortured Poets Department. I just

50:50

think as a linguist you

50:52

and also Ariana Grande, I just feel like

50:54

both of these artists would

50:57

really, you would love how

50:59

they are using linguistics up in their music.

51:01

It is so fucking

51:04

genius. I can't stand it. And I know

51:06

this about both of them and I have been a little

51:09

distracted. Why? Because

51:11

you're just like a Dean of like a

51:13

major college in the middle of like a

51:15

gigantic political upheaval that we haven't seen since

51:17

like the seventies or something. I

51:19

can hardly wait to go do that. So

51:22

I'm going to do that this weekend. With

51:24

like a little bath soak. With a little

51:27

bath soak with some Tortured Poets Department. That's

51:29

what I'm going to do as I take

51:31

a long bath. And also that'll be good

51:33

for you to become a Swifty in preparation

51:35

for our next interview because then you'll really

51:37

vibe with like the eras, like the

51:40

eras, um, like analogy or metaphor. This

51:42

will make my niece very happy because

51:44

she's a total Swifty and she has

51:46

been wanting me to get on board

51:48

here and I'm absolutely willing to get

51:50

on board. I just haven't had time

51:52

to get on board. So I'm going

51:54

to make it. We got

51:56

to get, yeah, I've got to clear a little space of time for

51:58

Taylor. I know that you. do have your

52:01

hands, like supporting the community

52:03

through it. Come

52:05

on. And well, we got to have you back for part

52:07

two. We're going on a history tour and thank you so

52:10

much for coming on, getting curious. We appreciate you so much.

52:12

Oh, thank you. This was such

52:15

fun. If you were as riveted as

52:17

I was in that episode, please

52:19

get Ann's book. It is so

52:22

fascinating. It's

52:24

available wherever you get your books. Again, it's

52:26

called Says Who? A Kinder, Funner Usage Guide

52:28

for Everyone Who Cares About Words. You

52:31

guys get the book, Support Ann's Work. We're

52:33

obsessed. Did

52:35

we learn how I can be more effective with language?

52:39

Yes. And no. Because

52:42

I didn't stop talking so much and we're definitely going to

52:44

have to have Ann come back for a second episode. It

52:46

wasn't because she didn't answer it effectively. It's because I

52:49

was so excited by everything that she said. I didn't let

52:51

her finish like half the questions.

52:54

But I do think I a little

52:56

bit have learned how to be more effective with language.

53:00

And I think this is the other thing. How

53:03

I've become less effective with

53:05

language and why I've gotten more scared of

53:07

language, I think, is because when

53:09

our language is criticized, it can

53:12

be so personal and that

53:14

can be tough and painful and it touches the shame and

53:18

the guilt. So I thought that was really interesting, but

53:20

there's a lot more that I found interesting. The

53:23

idea of being a caretaker of language

53:25

versus a gatekeeper of language, I thought

53:27

was interesting. Also because, and

53:30

I think Ann's work so much speaks to

53:33

respecting someone's POV and

53:36

being a generous listener, as she

53:38

was saying. I thought

53:40

that was fascinating that when you go

53:42

back hundreds of years, there's

53:44

evidence of them being a singular,

53:47

all the way back to Shakespeare times. And then

53:50

every kid who learns language reinvents it with

53:52

the peruse, that

53:56

was everything. And also What's

53:58

going on in our brains. These are language

54:01

also made. Tic toc an Instagram

54:03

algorithm recently started showing me like.

54:06

What I now know is a Spanish

54:08

linguists because they're like. Don't.

54:10

Have order your copy like this. Order it like

54:12

this to sound like more like in the the

54:14

Spanish speaker to die within like played out to

54:17

narrow on. Cafe is like can I have a

54:19

coffee it's within. This guy was like that sounds

54:21

super like how and in this weekend Christmas Aids

54:23

is that they would. Sell. Me on

54:25

cafe for for war or like. Cafe.

54:27

Pop of or and it's just like more

54:29

like natural sounding So of a while we

54:31

love you so much these recommend getting curious

54:33

as to go take a shower. I'm. And

54:36

ghosts in a tween and go in for gone of he

54:38

will have. You been

54:40

listening to? Getting Serious with Me. It's on

54:43

at the Center, Learn more about this week's

54:45

guess in their areas ecstasy and the episode

54:47

description and follow us on Instagram. As serious

54:49

as a Vn you can touch with your

54:51

every Wednesday and make sure to tune in

54:54

every Monday for episodes. A Pretty serious it's

54:56

we love with our podcast on Often Beauty

54:58

get into it. Still can't get enough. Any

55:00

want to go little spicy with us? He

55:02

can subscribe to Access Serious an Apple podcast

55:04

for commercial free listening and or. Subscription only

55:07

So as Cbn who were talking sex

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really says had a really different ever

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Music is Free Bike Lane at think

55:15

you so much to her for letting

55:17

us use that are editor an engineer

55:19

as Nathaniel with we're Getting series of

55:22

Free By Me Christmas Were and Julie

55:24

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