0:09

So. I've decided to change things up.

0:11

I can feel my brain tilting, getting

0:13

over cluttered with stress and worry, and

0:15

so I need to escape the swells

0:17

to take a break from my neighbors

0:19

and share a different story. We're all

0:21

here for distraction, myself included, and I've

0:24

been sitting on the beginnings of a

0:26

short story for a while, and I

0:28

think now is as good a time

0:30

as any to share it. I began

0:32

working on the short story in January

0:34

of Twenty Twenty, blissfully unaware of the

0:36

myriad of horrors to com. I've

0:39

revisited it occasionally over the years, but just

0:41

haven't gotten around to finishing it. And by

0:44

sharing it here, I know it will force

0:46

me to do just that. And

0:49

if any of you have been paying attention to

0:51

that, would you rather be trapped in a forest

0:53

alone with a man or a bear? Discussion on

0:55

tic tac. This story feels quite timely. That's

0:58

while s can keep going. There

1:02

you are is the story of Jane,

1:04

a woman who was stocked and kidnapped

1:06

by a man and saved by a.

1:09

It's a story about hyper vigilance and

1:11

anxiety and how they can both

1:13

cripple and save us. It's.

1:16

A story of the particular devastation

1:18

of survival. please note: this story

1:20

contains elements of trauma, mental illness,

1:22

and sexual assault. I don't go

1:24

into detail, but this story might

1:26

not be the one for you

1:28

if those topics cause distress. I

1:31

mean of course they're distressing, but

1:33

I wanna let you know ahead

1:35

of time that Jane Story isn't

1:37

a cozy one. We're headed into

1:39

a world of crime and horror

1:41

nothing cause about it. My.

1:46

Anyway, I'll share their you are a

1:48

few chapters at a time. I'm going

1:50

to attempt a weekly episode, but we'll

1:53

see. And my best guess is that

1:55

it will take me three, maybe four

1:57

installments to share what happened to Jane

1:59

As. Hm. I will really

2:01

sit there without the intro chatter

2:04

in it's entirety once. The stories

2:06

complete. Whose

2:08

if you haven't yet caught on? This

2:10

podcast is my way of dragging you

2:13

all long as I teach. Myself to

2:15

right. There. You Are

2:17

is just different enough that it's. Making me

2:19

frightened to share it here which.

2:21

Is why we simply must proceed. This

2:23

autumn overturned to the flowers. But for

2:26

now, let's hop in the car and

2:28

take the long drive to upstate New

2:30

York. There

2:36

you are, by less our. Epigraph.

2:41

Wherever you go there you are. Jon

2:44

Kabat Zinn, What

2:51

are you thinking about? Him.

2:55

He. Just it off. Chain

2:57

get the site. A shake of her head. I

3:00

was thinking about the woods. Yes,

3:03

but I've noticed you pause at

3:05

that same moment before before you double

3:08

back and he continues off and the

3:10

opposite direction. What happened? I

3:13

know he was just so close at

3:15

that point. On there with my only

3:17

camp. The.

3:20

Therapist tilted her head until the slow

3:22

studying breath. Jane. Recognize the

3:24

response. She'd seen it countless times in

3:26

the our she'd spent in Andrea's office.

3:30

You. Don't have to tell me. Not yet.

3:33

Not ever born. You allow yourself to feel

3:35

what it was. Like and witness yourself

3:37

surviving. You bring yourself farther and farther

3:39

away from that cabin. Saying.

3:42

It out loud. Telling. Your true.

3:45

Puts. Me in the driver's seat. Jane finished

3:47

for her, having heard the saying a

3:49

dozen time. She. Middle the

3:51

hang now her own telling tech. What?

3:55

Made you double back. Andrea pressed.

3:58

He was behind you, hunting you down. I

4:00

wondered for some time now. You could have

4:02

continued forward, putting more distance between the two

4:05

of you, but you didn't. You turn back.

4:07

Why? If

4:10

I continued on the way was going. I would

4:12

have run straight into the lake. I would have had

4:14

a chance. But. You

4:16

didn't know that at the time plain. Jane.

4:19

Shifted in her seat, Andrea

4:21

remain silent. I

4:25

say something any and I

4:27

thought I saw someone. Oh.

4:32

Jane to the inside of her lip than force

4:35

yourself to tell the truth. To say the thing

4:37

that frightened had the most. The.

4:40

Would for dark because of the storm. And

4:42

it was hard to know. Through the brush, I

4:44

was hunched over and moving as fast and as

4:46

quietly. As I could. but I was shivering so

4:48

badly my legs, when do what I wanted

4:50

them to. His. Voice kept

4:53

getting closer. I start to look for a

4:55

place to hide. I was looking around. I.

4:57

I thought I saw someone. I mean I did.

4:59

I saw some and move behind. A tree ahead

5:01

of me. Are

5:04

you afraid of them? Is that why you turned

5:06

around? Know. I

5:09

thought maybe they could help me. I called

5:11

out very quietly. I ask for help. I

5:13

move towards a tree I'd seen. Them locked

5:15

behind, but they weren't there As confused I

5:17

thought I was probably hallucinating and that worried

5:20

me because I wasn't sure if it might

5:22

be some fan of hypothermia and I knew

5:24

that if I couldn't think straight, I wouldn't

5:26

have a chance. I

5:29

get stumbling forward and then I thought

5:31

again. Andrea his

5:33

eyebrows twitched. It.

5:36

It wasn't real. Jane. Pressure

5:38

lips together. It was just

5:40

my brain trying to keep me alive. What

5:44

did your brain show you? Jane

5:46

took a deep breath and to her nose. A

5:50

monster she said exhaling.

5:54

Do. Feel comfortable telling me what the monster looked

5:56

like? andrea asked after a

5:58

be A

6:00

devil, like a forest

6:02

devil. That's what I've named it in

6:04

my mind. Jane admitted, letting out

6:06

a small laugh. She

6:09

just rose up from the brush right in front of

6:11

me like she'd been crouched down. I don't

6:14

know how I didn't scream, but thank God

6:16

I didn't, I froze. Her skin

6:18

looked like tree bark, but smooth. She

6:21

was about maybe eight, nine feet tall.

6:24

Huge, but thin. Jane's

6:27

eyes met her therapist, then slid away to

6:29

the window. She

6:32

had antlers, like a deer, but there

6:34

were horns coming out of her forehead too. She

6:37

didn't have a nose or ears, but her

6:39

face was somehow human. Her eyes

6:41

were huge. They were like jet

6:44

black, but not shiny. Dull. Cloudy.

6:48

Time kicked by as the women sat in silence.

6:53

There was a monster blocking your path from the

6:55

monster hunting you. Andrea said

6:57

finally. Jane, I'm

6:59

so sorry. Jane

7:02

blinked back tears. It

7:05

raised its arm, if you could call it that.

7:07

It was more like a long, thin branch with short,

7:09

thinner branches at its end. At first

7:12

I thought it was pointing at me, but it wasn't.

7:14

It was pointing behind me, back and to the right.

7:16

I was afraid to turn my head. I

7:18

thought I'd turn and see him standing there. I had

7:21

this horrible moment where I thought they were working

7:23

together. Joel and the monster, I mean. I

7:26

began to back away from the thing, and then it said...

7:29

Jane stopped. She was furiously picking

7:31

at a hangnail and her left pinky, not realizing

7:33

it had begun to bleed. It

7:36

spoke, but it didn't open its mouth. It

7:39

spoke to me without speaking. What

7:43

did it say? It said,

7:46

he is close. Jane

7:48

whispered, you. It

7:51

was helping you. Jane shook

7:53

her head. It wasn't real. My

7:56

subconscious must have conjured it up, somehow knowing that

7:58

if I doubled back, it would... throw Joel

8:00

off. Andrea

8:02

sat and thought, have you

8:04

seen anything like that before or since?

8:07

Jane snapped. Do

8:09

I usually see monsters? No. All

8:12

right, what happened next? You

8:15

know what happened. I escaped. Walk

8:18

me through it. If you stop here,

8:20

you remain in those woods caught between

8:22

two monsters. Jane

8:25

sighed. I didn't

8:27

want to, but I had to turn

8:30

my back on that forest devil thing

8:32

because I could hear Joel getting closer.

8:34

That sick fucker was yelling, Janey, where

8:36

are you? Don't panic, honey. Just come

8:38

towards the sound of my voice. He

8:40

was doing it in case there was anyone else in

8:42

those woods listening. Her hands

8:45

balled into fists on her lap. I turned

8:48

and backtracked in the direction

8:50

the... she hesitated

8:53

briefly. The monster told me to.

8:55

I didn't have a choice. I had to get away

8:57

from it and Joel was so close. He passed by

9:00

not ten feet from me, but he was so focused

9:02

on looking ahead that he didn't even notice me. She

9:05

closed her eyes, forcing herself to study

9:07

her breath. I

9:10

stayed very still as he passed by and watched

9:12

him for a count of thirty before I began

9:14

moving again. At that

9:17

point, did you think you'd lost him? Jane

9:19

opened her eyes. Who?

9:23

Andrea looked taken aback, but quickly arranged

9:25

her expression into one of gentle concern. Either

9:29

of them, I suppose. No,

9:32

not really. I don't know how long I

9:34

walked. Twenty minutes, thirty. I

9:36

found a two-lane road and walked parallel to it,

9:39

about ten feet into the woods. It

9:41

was slow going and it was freezing cold, but I

9:44

didn't want to walk out in the open. He'd

9:46

abducted me from a parking lot, for Christ's sake. He

9:48

wouldn't have had any trouble taking me from the side

9:51

of the road. I

9:53

watched the gas station for a long time before I got

9:55

up the nerve to go inside. I was

9:57

paranoid. Rightly so. I

10:01

guess, Jane said, her

10:03

eyes briefly meeting the therapist. A

10:06

man went in to pay for gas and I didn't

10:08

trust it. I just thought maybe he'd... I

10:10

don't know. I just didn't want to be

10:12

near another strange man, but then two young women

10:14

pulled up and pumped gas. When

10:17

they went inside, I trailed after them. I

10:19

figured there was no way they would be in league with him.

10:22

With y'all. Cautious.

10:25

Jane gave half a smile. Paranoid.

10:29

Perceptive. Andrea countered.

10:32

Jane shrugged. What

10:35

happened inside the gas station? The

10:37

attendant recognized me immediately. I mean, after she

10:39

got over the shock of having a muddy,

10:42

soaking wet, deranged woman stumble into the store in

10:44

nothing but a t-shirt, she

10:46

said, my god, it's you. They've

10:48

been looking anywhere for you. And

10:50

then those girls squealed their own, oh my

10:53

god, and I said, please call the police.

10:55

He's coming. I don't know how much time we have.

10:58

At least that's what they told me, I said,

11:00

because after that, I don't really have any memories

11:02

except for flashes. The police

11:04

lights outside, having my blood pressure

11:06

taken to the hospital, the nurses coming in

11:08

telling me how happy they were. I was

11:11

found. And

11:13

then Peter got there and I completely

11:15

broke down. He broke down. I just...

11:18

I never thought I'd see him again. Tears

11:21

rolled down Jane's cheeks, but she did not wipe

11:23

them away. Her voice remained

11:25

steady. You

11:27

know, they thought he was behind the whole thing. They

11:30

let everyone believe he'd done something to me. He

11:32

had to deal with the police harassing him when he

11:35

knew I was out there. God knows

11:37

where, and they wasted their time focusing on him. How

11:41

awful for him, especially given his line of

11:43

work. Jane

11:45

nodded. His second book was

11:47

about a young woman who simply vanished. They

11:50

found her car on the side of a country road

11:52

in New Hampshire, but there was no sign of her,

11:54

no leads. She's been gone for years. It was the

11:56

same with me. I simply vanished. came

12:00

back," Andrea said firmly.

12:02

You escaped, Jane. You survived.

12:05

Jane scrubbed in her eyes. You

12:07

saw your chance and you took it. You got away.

12:11

Jane began picking at the hangnail again. He's

12:14

still out there. Andrea

12:16

put the notebook she'd been holding down onto the

12:18

coffee table in front of her. He's

12:21

long gone. That

12:23

seems to be the party line. Are

12:26

you afraid he'll come back? I

12:28

know he will. Joel

12:33

hummed a gentle tune she couldn't place. I'll

12:37

never let you go, he whispered, pouring

12:39

a cup of water over her head. Rinsing

12:42

away the conditioner, he gently combed through her hair.

12:45

Jane stared straight ahead. Her

12:47

knees pulled to her chest, her arms

12:50

wrapped around them. Shivers

12:52

racked her body, despite the warmth of the

12:54

water surrounding her. You

12:56

know that, right, Janey? I

12:59

promise I'll never let you go, even

13:01

if some cruel twist of fate tears us

13:03

apart. I'll always come for you. You'll

13:06

never be alone again, he said,

13:08

before continuing to hum the tune that would

13:10

haunt her for the rest of her life.

13:15

Chapter Two Jane

13:17

entered the cafe two doors down from her

13:19

therapist's office. It had taken her a

13:21

long time to open up to Andrea. In

13:23

the beginning, they'd spent the hour in silence. Jane

13:26

knew physically unable to speak,

13:29

shivering uncontrollably at the thought of revisiting

13:31

the cabin in her mind. Andrea

13:34

simply sat with her, solid and safe, unflappable.

13:39

Only in the past month or so had Jane been

13:41

able to talk about what had happened in that cabin.

13:44

It was difficult, brutal, even,

13:47

talking about the abduction, but Andrea was

13:49

right. It helped, if only to

13:51

remind Jane that if she was there, sitting

13:54

across from Andrea, in her softly lit

13:56

office, the worn cornflower blue

13:58

armchair beneath her, framed black

14:00

and white silhouette of the Syracuse skyline

14:02

hanging on the wall beside them, then

14:05

she wasn't in the cabin. She'd

14:07

really made it out of those woods. It

14:11

was Andrea's idea to order a coffee

14:13

after her twice-weekly therapy sessions, a

14:15

homework of sorts. It was

14:17

months before Jane could do it. She

14:19

hated her therapist for suggesting it, but she

14:22

hated herself more for her inability to push

14:24

past the terror that consumed her at the

14:26

thought of the simple pause. Brief

14:28

interactions like ordering a coffee had never

14:31

been a problem before the addiction, but

14:34

getting kidnapped soured one on

14:36

casual interactions with strangers. Keeping

14:39

her sunglasses firmly in place, she stepped

14:41

to the back of a two-person line,

14:43

clocking everything in the brightly lit coffee

14:45

shop. There were two college students

14:47

at a far back table. A man in

14:50

a navy blue business suit had entered the bathroom at

14:52

the back of the shop just as she walked in.

14:54

A teenager was placing her order, and there was a guy with

14:57

about 20 ear piercings ahead of her in

14:59

line. A short, stocky

15:01

man in a crisp white polo shirt

15:03

manned the register. He was new.

15:06

Jane had never seen him before. Breathe.

15:10

You can leave anytime you want. Breathe.

15:14

Jane listened as the guy ahead of

15:16

her placed his order with a kind,

15:18

grandmotherly barista behind the counter. Her

15:20

dread grew. She'd ordered from

15:22

this woman before. Friendliness beamed

15:24

from the woman. Above all

15:26

else, kindness, especially from strangers, rattled

15:29

her now. She couldn't trust it. Wouldn't

15:31

trust it. She lowered her guard

15:33

once, and it nearly cost her her life.

15:36

She was about to step out of line

15:38

and leave without a drink when someone grabbed

15:40

onto her upper arm. Oh

15:43

my God, hi! A woman exclaimed.

15:46

Jane ripped her arm away, backing into

15:48

the earring-laden guy. Oh,

15:50

I'm so sorry to startle you. I just

15:53

haven't seen you in so long. It's Jane,

15:55

right? How are you? Did you divorce us

15:57

and find another studio? Jane

16:02

breathed, after apologizing to the guy she'd

16:04

just jostled. No, I'm

16:06

just taking a break. We'll come back

16:08

to us. Jane forced

16:10

a smile, though her heart felt as though it would beat

16:12

out of her chest. Breathe,

16:14

she thought, feeling a panic attack,

16:17

testing the perimeters. Breathe.

16:21

Did you switch to Pilates? You look

16:23

great. The woman seemed

16:25

oblivious to Jane's inner turmoil. What

16:28

can I get you, Miss? The barista asked from

16:30

behind the counter. Jane couldn't speak.

16:35

She closed her eyes for the briefest

16:37

moment, feeling the impatience roll off the

16:39

patrons who just joined the line, the

16:41

confusion of her old spin instructor, her

16:43

panic beginning to blot it all out.

16:46

Ooh. May I have

16:48

a coffee, please? She asked, her

16:50

voice shaky. Sure, honey,

16:53

would you like light, medium, or dark roast?

16:56

Jane stared. I always get

16:58

the medium. Okay,

17:01

yeah, medium, please. Jane

17:03

hated coffee, had lost her taste

17:05

for it in the cabin. She usually

17:08

ordered hot chocolate, the sugar, a

17:10

rebellion against Joel's restrictions. I

17:13

did the whole mobile order thing, Beth said, sticking close

17:15

to her as she moved to the front of the

17:17

store. So anyway, did you join

17:20

a gym? No,

17:22

I just took a break from everything. It was

17:24

good to see you, but... Ashley,

17:26

look who it is! Beth exclaimed

17:28

to someone behind Jane. Oh

17:31

my God, hi, how are you? Jane

17:35

turned and saw another instructor from

17:37

the spin studio she'd once attended

17:39

religiously. She met Ashley's eyes

17:41

and saw in an instant. The

17:43

woman knew. She knew about the terrible

17:46

thing that had happened to Jane. Hi,

17:49

Jane said, accepting the coffee and slapping

17:51

a five dollar bill down, avoiding

17:54

interaction with the new man behind the counter. Listen,

17:57

it was so good to see you both, but

17:59

I've got to run. I'm late for something. Bye."

18:02

As she scurried towards the door, she heard

18:04

Ashley's excited voice. Oh

18:06

my god, Beth, do you even know who that

18:08

was? Jane dumped

18:11

the coffee in the first trash can she passed as

18:13

she fled to her car. The

18:17

coffee isn't too hot for you, is it? The

18:19

coffee was far too hot, but Jane

18:21

shook her head. Good.

18:25

Lukewarm coffee has always been one of my

18:27

little bugaboos. Joel's eyes

18:29

crinkled at the edges as he scrunched his nose.

18:33

Extra hot, I tell them every time, but

18:35

you know the type behind a cafe counter.

18:37

Students and divorcees, what do they know about

18:39

coffee? Jane took

18:41

a careful sip. It's

18:44

organic, he said. You can

18:46

really taste the difference, can't you? Jane

18:49

forced the corners of her mouth up. How

18:52

about the creamer? It's

18:54

nice, thank you. She

18:56

managed. I know it's

18:58

not what you're used to. His

19:00

nose crinkled again, but his eyes remained

19:03

watchful. You must

19:05

know how bad that artificial junk was for

19:07

you. Full of chemicals, and

19:09

sugar for that matter. You might

19:11

as well have been drinking candied plastic. Steam

19:15

floated gently up from the mug before her.

19:18

She breathed evenly, using all her willpower

19:20

to hold back a response. Your

19:24

taste buds will normalize over time. You'll

19:27

see. There's

19:31

a new guy at the front desk, Jane

19:33

said, as Peter relocked the two deadbolts

19:35

and slid the chain back into place.

19:39

I just met him, he replied, leaning down to

19:41

plant a kiss on her cheek. I

19:44

didn't see an email about them hiring anyone new. She

19:47

didn't want to sound as paranoid as she

19:49

was, but she couldn't help herself. She'd spent

19:51

the past hour and a half imagining scenarios

19:53

in which their building's new concierge was able

19:55

to break into their condo, or

19:57

lure her out into the hallway under false pretense.

20:01

Peter How the iphone. I

20:03

sent an email and my way up in the elevator. I'm

20:06

sure they just didn't get the chance to let the residents

20:08

know yet. Jane that

20:10

are tongue wanting to ramp over the

20:12

irresponsibility of. The management company for not

20:15

alerting them to staff change but she knew

20:17

it only make her sound as crazy as

20:19

she actually was. How

20:21

would grab the wind Peter said holding

20:23

out of hand her. She

20:26

took it and allowed him to pull her up off the

20:28

couch. I think I

20:30

might have a lead on the witness. He told

20:32

her as he poured two glasses of

20:34

Chardonnay. She returned. My email but I don't think

20:36

she feels comfortable. Putting anything in writing and they

20:38

have to meet with her face to face.

20:42

Oh. Same. Said trying to mask

20:44

the concern in her voice. Where

20:46

Does She live? Salt.

20:48

Lake City to the replied. Jane.

20:51

Personally, I wouldn't go

20:53

for another couple weeks, I'm sure, and then only

20:55

for a night. I was thinking you could stay

20:57

at your sister's. Chain.

21:00

Flow the large cup of line. Don't

21:03

worry about back, I'm just happy are making progress

21:05

on the book. He

21:07

took the still next to her that the kitchen island.

21:10

And. How was your day he asked rubbing

21:12

her back. Foot.

21:15

Okay, I'm almost done with the audio book.

21:17

I just have to listen to it one

21:19

last. Time to be sure. the sound of clean. Wow

21:22

and of an era. Che

21:25

non and taking another said. Maggie.

21:28

Asked if I could. Be. Available if anything comes

21:30

up with past projects. but yes,

21:32

that's it. Goodbye Audio box on

21:34

a free agent. Congratulations.

21:38

Peters said warmly, I'm so proud of

21:40

you. What? Are you going to tackle first?

21:43

Play have three podcast lineup but they gave

21:46

me so much lead time there's no rush.

21:48

I thought maybe I can start getting this

21:50

place ready to clutter it or whatever. Peter.

21:53

Turned to fully face her. Really?

21:57

Yeah. You're. Sure, Jane

22:00

nibble that hang now before answering. We've.

22:03

Been over all the pros and cons. Your mom

22:05

needs help. We should be there. A

22:08

loud bang sounded over their heads, followed

22:10

by high heeled footsteps clacking across the

22:12

polished concrete floor and the condo above

22:14

them. Why? Won't miss

22:17

having upstairs neighbors That for Sir

22:19

Peter replied grinning. And will

22:21

catch the spring market. Carry

22:24

will be thrilled. James. Said of

22:26

Peter sister. Megan.

22:28

Will be devastated. Peter. Countered

22:31

referring to her own. She

22:34

understands Jane said before draining her

22:36

glass. Peter. Picked up the

22:38

wine bottle. Did something happen

22:40

to change your mind? I thought we were going to

22:42

put it on the backburner until you've got your sea

22:44

legs. With a new business. He. Asked

22:46

as he refilled their classes. Chains

22:50

mind slashed. The coffee shop. Oh My.

22:52

God. Back to you know who that

22:54

was? It just

22:56

feels like the right time. She. Said.

22:59

Peter. Lean forward and kissed her before holding

23:02

up his glass. To

23:04

a fresh start. A

23:06

fresh start. For. Minute. She.

23:10

To treat. She

23:13

began her career in The Warm Embrace

23:15

a Public Radio. He didn't know

23:17

you're cooking at the want to senior

23:19

podcast engineer actually. Fall Over seen

23:22

recording of an interview on his very

23:24

first book. She met Peter. He.

23:26

Taken her by surprise when instead of

23:28

leaving. Directly after the interview he made

23:30

in the sand in door and asked

23:32

her if she meant to grab lunch.

23:34

She'd accepted. Now she

23:36

couldn't fathom doing something so risky, but

23:39

things were different then. She

23:41

was twenty nine, confident, arrogant, and

23:43

her assumption of safety. He butter

23:45

lunch at a popular Delhi close

23:47

to the studio. The. Same

23:49

Delhi or she would later encounter

23:51

Joel Vincent Hayes. State.

23:54

Their sandwiches on a bench in front of her

23:56

office. Peter.

23:58

Was a writer, a true. a crime writer

24:00

who'd just published his very first book on a cold

24:02

case in Casanova about a child who'd

24:04

been strangled, his body found at the

24:07

lake's edge. It

24:09

was an incredibly dark story, but Jane

24:11

didn't mind dark at a time in

24:13

her life when everything around her seemed

24:15

to glow so brilliantly. They dated for two

24:18

years. He published another book and

24:20

then proposed. They bought a condo

24:22

and a converted industrial building in Armory Square,

24:24

a space with polished

24:26

concrete floors, a shiny modern kitchen,

24:28

and massive floor-to-ceiling windows overlooking the

24:31

Museum of Science. She

24:33

reached the very top of her profession at

24:35

the radio station by the time she was

24:37

34, and then one day, as she mixed

24:39

the morning news, she caught a story about

24:41

the growing interest in podcasts, and it piqued

24:43

her own interest. Within six

24:45

months she'd secured a consultant's even role

24:47

at Audio Box, an independent

24:49

recording studio used not just

24:51

by musicians, but indie podcasters too.

24:54

By 2016, she was part owner of

24:56

the company, having left public radio behind.

25:00

Peter rode the wave of podcasts too.

25:03

True crime was the highest performing genres on

25:05

the platform. It was the second book

25:07

that made him famous, the one about the young

25:09

woman who disappeared into thin air in New Hampshire,

25:12

her car found on the side of the

25:14

road, several witnesses unable to offer any useful

25:16

information to her whereabouts. Having

25:19

spent so much time studying the

25:21

awful ways in which people could

25:23

be disappeared, brutally murdered, tortured, stalked,

25:25

and worse, when Jane failed to

25:27

answer his text messages not just that Friday

25:30

night, but the next morning as well, his

25:32

mind went to the worst case scenario. He

25:35

called the concierge in their building. Jane

25:37

hadn't been seen since five o'clock the prior

25:39

evening. By 7.30

25:41

that next morning, the

25:43

police had been alerted and Peter was in his

25:45

car making the two and a half hour drive

25:48

back from Albany, where he'd been promoting his books

25:50

at a true crime convention. By

25:52

the clock, he'd spoken to the woman who Jane had been

25:54

working with the night before. They'd hosted

25:56

a live recording at the studio, an

25:58

audience of approximately 20 people. people had

26:00

attended the recording of the

26:02

Minimalist Girl Boss podcast. Jane

26:06

worked the event until nine o'clock. Her

26:08

co-manager, Jen, saw her leave to the back

26:10

hallway, presumably headed to the parking lot behind

26:12

the building. It was later discovered

26:14

that the surveillance camera that kept watch over

26:17

the lot had been intentionally disabled. Peter

26:20

went straight to the police station upon his return

26:22

to Syracuse. Something is

26:24

very wrong, he'd insisted. He

26:26

was taken seriously, but there was nothing to do

26:29

besides check in with Jane's family and friends and

26:31

hope that they knew something of her whereabouts. By

26:34

late morning, the focus of the investigation turned

26:36

to Peter. Why was he in

26:38

Albany? What exactly was the nature of

26:40

his work? Unsolved murders and

26:43

missing persons cases, how did he fall

26:45

into that sort of reporting? Meanwhile,

26:48

Jane was sipping too hot coffee and

26:50

doing her best to stay calm and

26:52

take stock of the man who chained

26:54

her to a kitchen table in a

26:56

beautifully appointed cabin at the edge

26:58

of Lake Ontario. Chapter

27:03

Four I

27:06

totally get it, Megan said,

27:08

sniffling. You guys deserve a change,

27:10

a fresh start, right? Jane

27:13

listened to the Sesame Street theme song stream

27:15

into the small kitchen from the family room.

27:18

She crossed her arms, not trusting herself to speak.

27:21

I'm being selfish. Dover is what, four hours

27:23

away? Closer to

27:25

five. Megan blinked. It's

27:28

nothing. And his sister is there, right? We've had you

27:30

for all this time. It's only fair they should have

27:33

you close by, especially

27:35

considering his mom's condition. How is she?

27:37

Anyway. She

27:40

forgot to turn the kitchen sink off before she left

27:42

the house the other day. When Carrie helped

27:44

her to bring the groceries inside, she found it

27:46

running. The biggest concern is the

27:48

oven. I think they'll have the gas shut off.

27:50

That won't be a problem, but still. Jeez.

27:55

Carrie told Peter she'd started to line the

27:57

windows with crystals too, says it keeps the

28:00

forest spirits at bay. Oh,

28:03

the poor thing. Megan wiped her

28:05

nose. It's so unfair, isn't

28:07

it? She's such a good person,

28:09

and then there's our own mother who's pickled her

28:11

entire body for years, and yet she can

28:13

still get up and do that stupid aerobics

28:16

tape every morning. Eh,

28:18

it'll catch up with her eventually, Jane

28:20

said bitterly. It

28:23

just doesn't seem fair. It

28:25

isn't, but Carrie says Barbara's days are good

28:27

for the most part. That's why

28:29

I think we should move before things take a turn. I

28:32

know Peter would regret not spending as much time with

28:34

her as he can before it heads south.

28:38

When will you move? Jane

28:40

shrugged. We're having

28:42

a real estate agent over on Monday. I suppose she'll

28:44

tell us what we have to do to get ready

28:46

to sell. We probably have a couple months.

28:52

Jane was 18 years old when she

28:54

watched Gavin De Becker tell Oprah how important

28:56

it was for women to trust their instincts

28:59

when it came to strangers. Red

29:01

flag, a man who refuses to hear the word

29:04

no. Red flag,

29:06

inappropriate request for help. Red

29:09

flag, a subtle uneasy feeling in

29:11

your gut. As

29:13

the emergency exit door clicked closed behind

29:16

her that night in early October, Jane

29:18

had only one thought in her mind.

29:21

Getting home and putting on an old Agatha Raisin

29:23

episode to rinse the nonsense she just

29:25

heard at that live recording. Lean

29:28

in, ladies. You can have it all, but you

29:30

mustn't let it all clutter your space. The

29:33

podcaster espoused during an hour

29:36

and a half of vapid fluff

29:38

in that particularly insidious form of

29:40

girl boss propaganda. Her

29:44

hackles raised when she first heard the footsteps

29:46

off to her right. She

29:48

was headed to the left, away from the

29:50

noise, when she felt herself freeze up. Her

29:53

animal instincts had done their job, for

29:55

she was in mortal danger. girl."

30:00

A man's voice rang out through

30:02

the night. He stepped out of the

30:04

shadows. Oh, I'm

30:06

sorry if I startled you. He

30:08

held up his hands to show he posed no threat.

30:11

It's my dog. I've been looking for her for

30:13

the past half hour. Jane

30:16

managed to smile. Good

30:18

luck. She was just stepped in her

30:20

car. Yeah, thanks.

30:23

The man said. The thing is, she's

30:25

mostly deaf. I think she's hiding back

30:27

there. He motioned to the

30:30

wooden fence surrounding the building's dumpster. She

30:32

won't know it's me and she's too afraid to come out.

30:36

Sure, Jane said, still moving

30:38

towards her car. Her

30:41

heart was beating faster, dutifully

30:43

pushing blood to her muscles and her

30:45

heart preparing for her to move, to fight.

30:48

She was beginning to breathe more rapidly,

30:50

small airways in her lungs opening wide

30:52

so she had the breath to take

30:54

flight. Her mind overrode

30:56

her body, warning her against being rude

30:58

to a strange man, something

31:00

that could elicit his anger and put her in

31:02

danger. Hey,

31:05

wait a minute. Girl chews with tomato,

31:07

right? What?

31:10

I work at the deli. The man's

31:12

chuckle was tinged with embarrassment. That's

31:14

your usual order, isn't it? Oh,

31:17

yeah, yes. That's right. Hi. Hi.

31:21

She hadn't recognized him at first. His hat

31:23

had thrown her off. You

31:26

know what? Could I ask you a favor? Uh,

31:30

I wouldn't ask unless I was desperate. I just don't

31:32

want Queenie to get hit by a car or anything

31:34

in this parking lot. Of

31:36

course, Jane said, desperately wanting to

31:38

get into her car. I

31:41

will be forever indebted to you, the man

31:43

said, putting his hands into a gesture

31:45

of prayer. If you could

31:47

just come over here and crap your hands and I'll

31:49

go on the other side and catch her as she

31:51

comes out. Jane

31:54

placed her handbag and keys on the trunk of her

31:56

car and walked towards the man. Thank

31:58

you. Had

32:01

Jane been listening to her intuition, she would have

32:03

picked up on the excitement in his voice. Yup,

32:06

right over there. Okay, perfect.

32:10

She was on the ground before she had time to comprehend

32:12

what was happening to her. The

32:15

jolt of electricity incapacitated her. It

32:17

didn't last long, though it was long

32:19

enough for him to pop the hatchback on his car

32:21

before he hit her again with the taser. The

32:24

second jolt hit harder than the first. They

32:27

were out of the parking lot before she'd recovered her

32:30

ability to scream. Can't

32:34

this it is? I

32:36

think that's wonderful, Andrea

32:38

said, warmly. Jane nodded.

32:42

And such good timing for you, having wrapped

32:44

up your work at your old company. It is. And

32:48

Peter can do his work anywhere, too, so. How

32:51

is your mother-in-law doing? Andrea asked,

32:54

concerned knitting her brows together. The

32:57

decline's been gradual. I think it's best

32:59

we go before things change. It's

33:02

going to be hard, Jane. Jane's

33:04

eyes move to the window, to the view

33:06

of a red brick wall across the alley.

33:10

It won't be so bad. We can fit everything we

33:12

owned in a small truck. It's only a

33:14

five-hour drive. That's not

33:16

what I mean, the therapist said,

33:19

patiently. You'll be out of

33:21

your familiar routine. I'm

33:24

hoping that getting away from everything familiar will be a

33:26

good thing. How

33:28

so? Andrea tilted her

33:30

head inquisitively. Jane sighed. I

33:34

don't want to have to push away the memory of

33:36

being taken every time I pass audio box in my

33:38

car. I don't want to

33:40

be recognized as that poor woman who was

33:42

abducted by that psycho anymore. Did

33:46

someone recognize you? It

33:48

was nothing, just a woman for my old spin class. Do

33:52

you want to tell me about it? No,

33:54

it just hasn't happened in a while, so I wasn't ready

33:56

for it. Andrea

33:59

Drew in a breath. And let it out slowly.

34:03

I've been thinking about your monster. Jam

34:06

froze. I did

34:08

some research actually. I wondered

34:10

if perhaps there were any accounts as

34:13

similar situations where a person's mind conjured

34:15

and image to help them escape danger.

34:18

Jane. Watched her therapist closely for any sign

34:20

that the woman might be about to declare

34:22

her insane. And.

34:25

And. What I found were many. First person

34:27

accounts a spirit and counters. In fact,

34:30

I found a forum. Where

34:32

people share stories of being in the

34:34

forest and receiving help from benevolent creatures.

34:37

Jane Smith. I

34:39

can't be done. The name of the website for you. Andrea

34:42

for the monogrammed piece of know paper

34:44

across coffee table. Jane.

34:47

Hesitated before reaching for it. Crypto.

34:50

Zoology today.com. Andrea

34:53

smiled. Where. Else would

34:55

one time such stories. Prefer

34:58

to keep all. Those.

35:00

Types of people saw creature in the woods who

35:02

helped them. When they're under stress. That

35:04

sounds very similar to your story, doesn't it? Yeah

35:08

that. I know you feel

35:10

most comfortable isolating game, but in the

35:12

comfort you run the risk of flooding

35:14

back into agoraphobia. Andrea

35:16

held up a hand to stop James defense.

35:19

Absolutely no one would blame you for wanting to

35:22

hide from the world after what happened to you.

35:25

But what happened here was an anomaly. The chances

35:27

of it happening again, Of meeting a stranger who

35:29

becomes obsessed with you to the point of abducting

35:31

you under the premise that he can convince you

35:33

to run away and build a life with him.

35:36

He. Will never happen again. By

35:39

walling yourself up on the possibility

35:41

of another attack, he while yourself

35:43

optimal. Other possibilities. So

35:46

what what do you think I should do?

35:48

Join a crypto zoology form and make buddies

35:51

with people? Receive Verizon. The ones I feel

35:53

like you totally misunderstood. But I told you

35:55

that flight never told anyone about the monster

35:57

or whatever it was that I saw it.

36:00

wasn't real. I hallucinated. Something

36:02

inside me, my subconscious or

36:04

whatever, conjured the image and it

36:06

saved me. I don't believe in monsters.

36:09

Whether you believe in them or not, you saw one,

36:11

a very specific monster at

36:14

a very specific time, who carried

36:16

an incredibly specific and accurate

36:18

message. And you're not the

36:20

only one who's experienced such a thing. Andrea

36:23

said, What

36:26

if for just a moment we

36:28

considered the idea that in the middle of

36:30

something awful, something magical happened to

36:32

you? And what if you were able to find

36:34

someone else who's experienced the same? Jane

36:38

picked at the cuticle on her thumb. What

36:41

would you think of that person? I

36:43

think they were crazy. Really? Jane

36:47

uncrossed and re-crossed her legs. Uh,

36:50

yeah, if someone told me they saw a monster in

36:52

the woods and it helped them, I'd think they were

36:54

crazy. Do you

36:56

think you're crazy? Jane

36:58

looked out the window. I don't

37:01

know. She said quietly. That's

37:03

why I'm here. To find out

37:05

if you're crazy. Jane

37:07

nodded, blinking back tears. Well,

37:11

you're not. You've been

37:13

traumatized uniquely and horribly so.

37:16

You suffer from post-traumatic stress, which has

37:18

caused an inability to trust people outside

37:21

of your immediate social circle. And

37:23

you carry an immense amount of guilt and a

37:25

full sense of responsibility for what happened to you.

37:29

Jane's eyes met the therapist. Is

37:31

that what it says about me in that little black

37:33

notebook? Andrea smiled

37:36

and nodded. It also

37:38

says you're an accomplished professional who's

37:40

managed to keep her career and

37:42

maintain close relationships through an event

37:44

that would leave many others' lives in shambles. You're

37:47

eating again. You're facing down the

37:49

temptation to isolate yourself every day. And

37:51

so far, you've avoided the alcohol trap

37:53

so many survivors fall into. Well,

37:57

there's the bright side. At Least I'm not

37:59

an alcoholic. Yes. Be

38:02

proud can Andrew Had Seriously, you

38:04

are not of the what state.

38:06

you're getting closer everyday. Chain

38:09

picked painfully at the cuticle. That's

38:13

just it. Out of, however, leave

38:15

those words.