0:00

So when it comes to like a man who's running a

0:02

roster right in the way the where it's hell if you're

0:04

on one or not. Is. One

0:23

national average. Girl got a

0:25

a welcome bad guy. Go on

0:27

for your ideal. You know I'm

0:29

going to show open with some

0:31

tea. What? Is it of how

0:33

we were maybe going to have today? I'm.

0:36

Going to say it I have start strong

0:39

we're we're going to have a Trevor from

0:41

Love is Blind. Who. Was

0:43

who was like big meathead mollet man because

0:45

you guys are dying for all of his

0:47

by recap of com yeah but you know

0:49

he's kind of like on the market. I

0:51

thought he would be a good person to

0:53

have like an angel. Yeah he seemed like

0:55

such an angel. I was like so into

0:57

his vibe on the show and we had

0:59

him like. Ready. To go. And.

1:02

Then all the stuff came out about him

1:04

having a girlfriend the whole time. The screenshots

1:06

were really setting Tessa use them to us

1:08

intuit as the same as always two steps

1:10

i think all he does and she was

1:12

just like I don't know should look into

1:14

this and you know there had been things

1:16

come out about the cast members that weren't

1:18

real so we were like well with let's

1:20

investigate it looked very real was like a

1:22

lot of text messages from a lot of

1:24

allegations of cast members being in relationship of

1:26

yes. Yes, Some substantiated it's summer not

1:28

yeah so we will have been dealing with the publicist

1:30

who also just kind of fuck to sort of made

1:32

me dirty. Yes so it's like I don't care I

1:35

was Philly the sea and we really hey what's going

1:37

on with us You know we saw this and this

1:39

will not bode well for him to come on our

1:41

show and you know like we're not in the business

1:43

of like let's have someone come on and just like

1:46

hold their feet the fire actually while I'm your time

1:48

fan of on I'm not a set of on. He

1:50

was one of those I keep say no I'm like

1:52

I don't want him on are showing it won't give

1:54

him a platform. I don't care about him, I find

1:56

him. Like just someone I don't even want

1:59

to talk to. Is it over

2:01

from I will you keep asking I don't want

2:03

it like maybe very new solo. I just don't

2:05

think what he's done on every other podcasts wasn't

2:07

Next I'll light a mop. We talk about this

2:09

having solo episodes where you get to pick out

2:12

here and I would have to sack rate of

2:14

success and of us So anyway so we the

2:16

message to publicists and she was like and for

2:18

to I think this is true and were like

2:20

okay so anyway I don't I'm sure people know

2:22

that this is true this went on him the

2:25

a big deal I mean he thought someone that

2:27

like made it to the engagement round but like

2:29

how to grow. From the whole time and

2:31

you read the text messages and it's like

2:33

was putting they can get away with that.

2:35

it's gonna come. Oh I mean it's a

2:38

big deal to me in the sense that

2:40

like a lot of people plaza show who

2:42

had positive good intentions and did not get

2:44

cast and that somebody who was interrelations have

2:46

doing as I don't for interim followers or

2:49

whatever like got on this show and got

2:51

past people that like actually probably would have

2:53

been like deserves the hype like it's It's

2:55

a bummer to me still weird to an

2:58

ellipse a blessing on the other side. Of

3:00

that like okay they go off and just

3:02

go at famous for us what would what

3:04

is the vibe there is a Stooge you

3:06

that a do for us to we can

3:08

went below our life together when opening name

3:10

it it's like you know it's kind of

3:12

like that anymore You don't mean with like

3:14

season six of this show like there's no

3:16

like let me just run often get engaged

3:18

to someone else who I can make us

3:20

that money baby uses way for me to

3:22

i come home is like what you do

3:24

get on ticked also what money you to

3:26

make your yeah couple of Instagram feals maybe

3:28

a bunch of women sliding into. His the an

3:30

auburn to such as deck will just speculating that

3:32

that's the conversation but I just find all of

3:34

it would kind of a thick an hour and

3:36

a like and I don't like that it's up

3:39

a spot from somebody of I would have enjoyed

3:41

watching on tv and dessert type that likes what

3:43

is a chore I know. Anyway, substitute

3:45

either one hundred and hi. I

3:47

mean I've receipts so yeah what

3:49

is the truth is that ultimately

3:51

be less the earth. Who.

3:53

Are some in front of the bus lot? When I think

3:55

back to like we kept so classroom lotta Chelsea Handler stuff

3:58

in there were so much more we could have said. Her

4:00

publisher with a burglary or guess we could

4:02

a really burned out of the ground and

4:04

maybe one day we well I want to

4:07

be matched the earth isotope give a fuck

4:09

we're be try to play it soon. nice

4:11

word as I get us. To

4:14

Chelsea Handler T Would have been so glad. I'm

4:16

sorry bars one of the past few months or

4:18

years ago she was a bitch. Snow

4:22

is is that she disliked Drag Us. drug

4:24

policy aimed at yeah was just very odd

4:26

if you know, you know, But the way

4:29

her publicist tried to spin it was like

4:31

shocking. Publishers have received

4:33

Sit You and I Think The A Man Who

4:35

and the were always a take the high road.

4:37

I'm done with that. Folks

4:40

who are. Hiring the puts the suffered

4:42

right idea that would create a low. I

4:44

want to go lower. Certainly.

4:47

Moreover, the high road for Usajobs superhero

4:49

I'll take the road less traveled, As

4:54

my tattoo. Okay

4:58

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in their website i know i'll leave

5:47

so bad and to my boss having

5:49

some issues with i like looking at

5:51

foods does late at night when i'm

5:53

starting it'll hungry or it's just it's

5:55

a problem the last i have infatuation

5:58

l a posted the best bagels LA,

6:00

which is an oxymoron. No, I'm just

6:02

kidding. But it looks so amazing. They've

6:05

had their best. Never going to be

6:07

in New York. But you've been telling me about Layla Bagels, which

6:09

is in my new neighborhood where I'm moving on March 15. And

6:12

so I was looking them up. I was just like foaming

6:14

at the mall. It's really good. You got

6:17

to do a bang bang with Layla and Gian Isaac

6:19

Bakery, which is next door. I try both at the

6:21

same time. That's my favorite thing. A bang bang. Mukbang.

6:23

You don't know about a bang bang? What, is this

6:25

like a double team? Yeah, you just do like two

6:27

places at this back to back. A bang bang. You

6:30

don't know this term? Oh. Do

6:32

you know this term? I know her term. What's mine?

6:34

A mukbang is different. Mukbang. Oh, well,

6:37

so my boyfriend recently confided

6:39

a mukbang. He likes to watch mukbangs. I know.

6:43

Not like section. He's just really

6:45

like fashion. And I'm like, eat all this food.

6:47

He's like, I'm into it. It makes him hungry. That

6:49

is so funny. What is like his brand of mukbang?

6:51

I don't know. Do you like Asian food or tacos?

6:54

Is he like a specific cuisine? Oh, I thought it

6:56

was like mostly Asian food. Is it not? It can

6:58

be anything? I

7:00

thought that it came from that culturally. I thought,

7:02

but you could do it with whatever? No, I

7:04

see there's an ASMR, hot honey fried chicken. It's

7:07

a Korean word. Right. So

7:09

yeah, like culturally, but I'm sure like white

7:11

people have appropriated it and they're doing it

7:14

with like pizza or something. Yes, just like

7:16

drunk white men. Anyways,

7:19

you got to do a bang bang. You just do two

7:21

places and watch them different. You don't do it on the

7:23

internet necessarily, although I don't do much that's not on the

7:26

internet. But you don't have to. But yes, and I have

7:28

been like following some more LA food people because I came

7:30

to you one day and I was like, my whole Instagram

7:32

feed is New York food. That's also making me hungry. But

7:34

this is pointless. You know, like I can save some of

7:37

these posts here and there, but I need like good LA

7:39

food people. So you've introduced me some people and

7:41

I've been crushing it on the food front. Hungry

7:43

in LA, this guy's adding how I could adjust.

7:45

OK, do You want to talk about your hair?

7:48

Yeah, you guys are probably on YouTube watching how

7:50

beautiful I look and thinking how did she do

7:52

it. And it's Mary Kate O'Connor. She's from Bedroom

7:54

and Salon here. I Got permanent hair extensions, you

7:56

guys. If You've been a fan of the podcast

7:58

for a long time or a short time, you

8:00

know that? my clip. then hair extensions are always

8:02

sticking out constantly. just pop it out of i

8:04

put the heart of age and I have like

8:06

sitting here because I've been hammering my hero hot

8:08

or but anyway I would ask like what was

8:11

it a place in L A for extensions A

8:13

lot of people mention Mary Kate and she suggested

8:15

parrot and tips which are sort of like the

8:17

glue. each piece on a takes a long time

8:19

with four hours if like and I still alive

8:21

right? how of I survived this long of so

8:23

strong suit thought the other permanent I think you

8:25

change them like every three or four months so

8:27

less than you changed like that track and I

8:29

don't. Know Yet I feel like every morning

8:31

I wake up with this long mermaid hair

8:34

and I feel just like beautiful and confident.

8:36

It's really fun sneezing. Really, it's so nice.

8:38

I love the way it looks. I'm so

8:40

glad you're happy with the Yeah Ansel. That's

8:42

a journey that four hours. You're just like

8:44

all I've done his sit here. So why

8:46

am I the most higher I've ever been

8:48

in my whole I know. I'd honestly rather

8:50

like lock for four hours and like sit

8:52

in a salon share I told you're talking

8:54

to so many people and you've never looked

8:56

uglier to do. Some Answers were and literally

8:59

wrote i've never looked ugly. Or there's no

9:01

uglier time the when you're in a

9:03

black keep, hair slicked back and it's

9:05

something about ninety five. So we like

9:08

ten times the size. I thought I

9:10

was like unlike are those my legs

9:12

What about fab Look like a mountain

9:14

climber? What other people see? What makes

9:17

linebacker when I'm in a salon? Share

9:19

another. There's something wrong of your belief

9:21

that wouldn't happen to her. Other people

9:23

are innocuous. I

9:25

look eighty five in the face. yeah I'm like

9:27

why been get Botox of I'm gonna look like

9:29

this I hope they do say surgery one still

9:32

sitting here of has this is a rose an

9:34

ominous from swords or me with the camera in

9:36

front of my face you just I can see

9:38

my phone or it but the phone and from

9:40

my face you can't see my face. I got

9:42

there you guys Anyways I love it. I really

9:44

can't recommend it out and Hershey's is fun to

9:46

talk shit weapon. she does regular her sentence to

9:48

attract but it was really fun. I just I

9:50

feel really like our Continent hasbro normally but it

9:52

just makes me so nice. I will have he

9:54

was slow hair yeah or Harry Harris such a

9:56

thing you know like I'll do my little cousins

9:58

here and there but you know given us. That

10:00

was watching the episode last week. I was like

10:02

I can see it. I can see that it's

10:04

not a perfect color match. I didn't go and

10:06

get them died, I thought they were perfect. but

10:09

then you get the third liner. like against it

10:11

is this always such a journey? My here is

10:13

then or it's fine and soda pop out. you

10:15

know like I've ordered the kind that are for

10:17

it. like more fine hair but it's so slick

10:20

always. I mean you know neutral attack from within

10:22

is the best. bad or.the from inside the salvage.

10:26

Yeah alternate couple time out for me because I'm

10:28

always late on curly make sense of yeah man.

10:30

And I'm constantly fidgeting with my hand and to

10:32

make sure that they're like in place and like

10:34

in the at a sticking out from people see

10:37

them so I don't have to do that now

10:39

and I'll give it like three months and see

10:41

I feel about it. I mean it's not cheap

10:43

South, yeah I don't Alpha I saw really good

10:45

and confident nice and anyway, that's my rock and

10:48

Ally Benjamin's line. Mary Kate, it's any. Are I

10:50

Kate O'connor Q: What? I

10:52

want to get an update for me hour ago and

10:54

his last week for time a bath tubs and you

10:57

said that you would take your last bath in your

10:59

our Scylla your first last weekend and you have but

11:01

we did read it with think about I mean we

11:03

had talked about it advance he knew I wanted to

11:05

the bath thing in like I had mentioned before this

11:07

past weekend my boyfriend came to visit or want a

11:09

sense of your new around here and so it is

11:11

like the last weekend we would spend in my house

11:14

and west hollywood which is the only house he's ever

11:16

really been and with me and allay and suits conflicts

11:18

that I don't I would have a lot of memories

11:20

in their this felt like we have our little home

11:22

and our family in one is all there and house

11:24

is kind of like sad to look for him to

11:26

leave and believe this is the last time are going

11:28

to be in this house. Me while I'm so

11:30

excited and like know it's gonna be so much

11:33

better like where are a lot and another yes

11:35

of course of the airport said your ass off

11:37

of he and he's just so thoughtful and wanted

11:39

to make a special so he did get some

11:41

like little t lights and some flowers for the

11:43

bathroom and he had ordered both out. That isn't

11:45

common time so iran we had some pack of

11:48

like lavender foam bat flick. it was foaming enough

11:50

you were very concerned we have bought you some.

11:52

you have a of you guys in the bathroom

11:54

scale yeah right Ipa it didn't look like well

11:56

that's what I want. Remarks: a demographer they bothered

11:58

about has a bomb makers. A mistake that

12:00

I doubt it was like foam on the top

12:03

but hard core bubbles they just disappear as I

12:05

hate say they'll stop at is also so big

12:07

we sit in it perfectly. I mean I'm five

12:09

ten he six three long limbs on both of

12:11

us and it took him six or to fill

12:14

it up I was what am I even doing

12:16

while he's in there like I like settled and

12:18

watch them carb of the just music while down

12:20

can him but like it's just took a long

12:22

time so that other thing with us and in

12:25

it was very comparable. I will say what you

12:27

do the best we honestly and we'd been out

12:29

all day. I planned or. Brewery.

12:33

At the brewery of ours were to say say

12:35

it, keep it moving like and you're like you're

12:37

wrong either up or them celebratory coffee. Over

12:41

the right price. So we've accepted a little

12:43

brewery crawl in downtown L A that I

12:45

plan because because the beer guy and there's

12:47

all these great burris downtown arts district and

12:49

so we had been like not drunk that

12:52

drinking beers all day we're just kill is

12:54

one of those days. Even day drinking is

12:56

nothing like makes you sleepy or than a

12:58

bath. I think it's like a Thanksgiving dinner.

13:00

like submerging yourself. In hot water I am

13:02

sutherland pass out there. I switched to safety hazard

13:04

I was not trying to too dark with

13:06

it but I do understand people drown the best

13:09

I can. You get thrown, can you come home

13:11

and get the bath Agree I still a good

13:13

body tiredness comes over me and that's why it's

13:15

not for me. like at like as you

13:17

the poll plunge any day that like energizes you

13:20

than a hot bath I think we're both have

13:22

as like oh I got like we'd had beers

13:24

all day really pass out in here it's

13:26

really made out a little and related opinion as

13:28

anymore what is wrong with me that I had

13:31

sex. In it is energizes may that's

13:33

fine. As like everybody else, Lysol. To

13:36

bring wind or you already drunk from the back we

13:38

didn't actually drinking alcohol in there was a good spot

13:40

if I playlist that was on it was like make

13:42

our dreams or something. As an aside you don't need

13:45

our balls I should I they'll last night and during

13:47

can I was like by two people do such. Crazy

13:50

like I got a bit like seven o'clock As

13:52

I was, I was appointed even being awake. Not

13:57

your name is Malcolm That dream as we get to that

13:59

I drag on Sunday. But I'm not your

14:01

money on lot this league and I literally

14:03

was just like you know, the like. I

14:05

don't think I drink every day but I

14:07

drink every day and I just lost. I

14:09

was like would you like to I guess

14:11

I'll go to bed at seven Oh my

14:13

god and I actually want to be longer

14:15

than I normally do. I thought you'd like

14:17

ten o'clock last night. that was crazy. Normally

14:19

I'm not lucid. the hostas emphasis on acid

14:21

attacks as a were attribute. They work. Do

14:23

it like at eight pm. Usually you retired

14:25

your chambers and you are you going all

14:27

the way up here would put like crow's

14:29

nest. Consider wine and years

14:31

pretzel jabs at like you're done for that I

14:33

do I know don't leave your phone downstairs us

14:35

I picture my head is like she's retired am

14:38

for the evening. I usually put it on the

14:40

side of my backup and buffy sheets are so

14:42

com for him and the helix mattress it's just

14:44

like a double whammy say i really nice and

14:46

he with him up in the crow's nest or

14:49

you like I'll say like I'm tired and aren't

14:51

really want to talk anymore but like what I

14:53

mean as like I'm putting is a thoughtful and

14:55

putting like god i don't want work you.shit to

14:57

me about people not the thought what us with.

15:00

Are they are. No doubt they are in

15:03

a dye your curse a curse. I'm putting

15:05

a boundary iron curtain some like that moratorium.

15:08

Them. Again, but some comments. I

15:12

was. you know shit to me I air

15:14

seven pm but not our yeah oh god

15:16

that's gonna bother me. When. He was

15:18

really funny as are gathered to so I

15:20

was gonna get on the phone with him

15:22

to talk about like topics and he sent

15:24

me a list of times and it was

15:26

like i'm free from like wanted to three

15:28

to four and then nine to eleven pm

15:30

and I called him and he's like hey

15:32

are you know like I just did it

15:34

without typo and he's like sums up so

15:36

i figure out a toss hate it maybe

15:38

not so hard I know I mean I

15:40

see people recording podcast late at night you

15:42

know associate you have like another job or

15:45

and you see people doing simply the night

15:47

I mean. that those most of work stuff i

15:49

would you like and i would because with like

15:51

the strippers wouldn't be so weird as i get

15:53

a pm how sir brian says are you going

15:55

on us your shop at night on nine advisors

15:58

like i like the upper and morning and I

16:00

don't think you would enjoy doing that at 7 a.m. Moratorium.

16:02

You just said it earlier. No, I didn't.

16:04

I said Miranda or something. Moratorium.

16:09

Does that make that up? I'm putting a

16:11

moratorium on work talk. I wasn't thinking that

16:13

would be like an embargo. Embargo means it

16:15

can't come out till later, so like, yeah,

16:17

like the, Kibosh? Like the Love is Blind

16:19

publicist told me there's an embargo on releasing

16:21

interviews with the cast, even though Nick Fial

16:24

and everybody else has. Kibosh? Putting the Kibosh

16:26

on something is just ending it. Okay. That's,

16:28

you're barking up the wrong, you're barking up the wrong tree. I'm

16:34

putting a Kibosh, is Kibosh Yiddish? I'm putting

16:36

the Kibosh on this. Yeah, Yiddish. A moratorium

16:38

I think is temporary. Okay. Kibosh

16:41

is forever. Yeah. It's forever. Like when

16:43

we put the Kibosh on this podcast,

16:45

we are going to bury people alive

16:47

on the last episode. Yeah.

16:49

Big dreams of that. Okay. So I do want to share this

16:52

prom dress story. I've just, I feel like people are like, we

16:54

don't care, but I just think that like, I don't want to

16:56

lie. I don't want to be like next week and then not

16:58

ever do it. You know, I want to hold myself accountable. That's

17:00

how you get people to tune in every week. You're like, next

17:02

week we're going to do this. Yeah.

17:06

They will probably, this is clickbait. People also really want a

17:08

long distance relationship episode and I'm going to do it soon.

17:11

Okay. Okay. But before you tell that story, we're

17:13

going to do an ad break. Oh, of course.

17:15

You guys have to keep tuning in. Blue balling

17:17

you even more. Okay. So I'm going to tell

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I am so, so obsessed with this. Like I

17:38

just don't have the time to like grocery shop.

17:40

I mean, you know, I don't, I don't want

17:43

to, I guess. I don't really have so much

17:45

extra time or the desire to do it. You

17:47

know, two companies, if you can outsource one thing,

17:49

it's grocery shopping. But I think people like to

17:52

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21:58

Okay, so I'm going to tell this story. And

22:00

if you don't know what I'm talking about, basically

22:02

Kate Kennedy brought it up on our episode with

22:04

her. That was early this year, a great episode. You

22:06

guys loved it. People love it. The truth about millennials.

22:09

And I guess I had told her this just talking

22:11

in conversation with a friend. She was brought up during

22:13

the episode and I was like, oh, I've never shared

22:15

that story. And I was saying I was going to

22:18

go tell it on her podcast and like do an

22:20

exclusive. But now I'm like, that's not fair. You guys

22:22

get to hear it first. Also tell it on hers.

22:24

I did her podcast years ago. I had such a

22:27

blast. I always like love talking about nostalgia and girlhood

22:29

and all the things with her. So

22:31

in my high school in Smyrna, Delaware,

22:33

there was a tradition that only seniors

22:35

could wear white to the prom. So

22:38

my high school had a lot of like really cool

22:40

special traditions. I mean, nothing like that extraordinary. But like

22:42

our homecoming floats were like nothing I've ever seen. Like

22:44

we would spend weeks building them, like puffing each flowers.

22:46

Like they looked and say no one in the state

22:49

had floats like ours. Like, you know, we just did

22:51

things like, you know, the cheerleaders would decorate the football

22:53

players' lockers and, you know, spirit week and all that

22:55

kind of stuff. Like the homecoming parade. Like I don't

22:57

know. I just went to very like quintessential kind of

22:59

small town high school. And I'm sure a lot of

23:01

people had those traditions too. But one that I've never

23:03

really heard of. Like I don't know if you heard

23:06

of this, like for seniors wearing white. No. Yeah.

23:08

So I was like so excited to wear white for senior

23:10

prom. I got this giant like princessy

23:12

like I thought it was like a wedding dress.

23:15

I got a bridal shop. Like I don't where I'll

23:17

see some white dresses. I

23:20

don't know. It's like Macy's bridal shops in the

23:22

bridal section. I had this like vision. I didn't

23:24

have a date. And I had this and I

23:27

got this dress that was like literal looks like

23:29

a wedding dress at like a bridal shop in

23:31

Dover like six months in advance. Like

23:33

I saw it. I had to have it. I was like,

23:35

Mom, that's the one, you know. So I'll post a picture

23:38

of this at some point. I wore it like years later,

23:40

like joking costume wise like a music festival. This group I

23:42

just hang out with always wear costumes and stuff. So

23:44

I do have some photos in it. So about

23:47

a month or two prior to prom, I start

23:49

hearing like rumblings about some junior girls saying they're

23:51

going to wear white. What?

23:55

Ashley doesn't like when people wear their roles. No.

23:57

What the fuck are you doing? No. This is honor of

23:59

the tradition. This is our

24:01

school tradition. Don't be fucking brats.

24:03

Wait your turn. So

24:06

I started being like, what is going on here? And it got

24:08

back to me and I started asking some

24:10

teachers about it. And my favorite teacher, Mrs. Conlin, she was

24:12

my French teacher. I think she was from the town, had

24:14

been to high school and she was like, this is the

24:16

tradition since I've been in high school. You asked her if

24:18

she's heard the say? Well, I just was

24:20

like, don't you feel like this is a real tradition? You've been

24:22

here forever. You went to school here too. She's like, yeah, it's

24:24

a thing. Fuck that basically. Or she

24:27

said it in French. And then like

24:29

other students are talking about and I'm kind of talking to

24:31

people. And then as the editor of the high school newspaper,

24:33

I was like, I'm going to write an expose about this.

24:38

It starts getting around the school. I mean, I was like in a small town.

24:40

I forgot that you were the head of the news. I was Owen. I

24:43

ran the news at that school. No,

24:48

I was the editor. I forgot that

24:50

you controlled the narrative. I controlled the

24:52

media. I controlled the good, the liberal

24:55

media at high school. So I'm

24:57

the editor of the high school newspaper of the eagle

24:59

eye editor in chief. Right. So I'm like,

25:01

I'm going to report on this. And so

25:03

let me, I'll read the article. I've article in

25:05

full right now. Okay, good. My

25:08

mom taught us my scrapbook. Okay. Wearing

25:11

white at prom should remain a senior tradition. And

25:13

then, so I didn't really want to like get

25:15

dragged. So I just said, buy the senior

25:17

girls on the eagle eye stuff. You can credit yourself.

25:19

Put my name on it. The ghost writer was all

25:21

of us. Well, everybody agreed and we did collectively contribute,

25:23

but like I wrote this shit, you know, but I

25:25

was like, maybe a little more, you're the voice of

25:27

the seniors. Right. Like I remember like people

25:30

in the South, like they all agreed to this. So I was like, maybe

25:32

make it a little easier on myself. Right. And

25:35

okay. There's something special about wearing whites at the prom.

25:37

It's a tradition that has been kept exclusively for senior

25:39

girls for as long as the teachers at Smyrna High

25:41

can remember. That's not to say that some underclassmen haven't

25:44

broken the tradition throughout the years, but most have been

25:46

respectful of this unwritten rule. Senior

25:48

girls look forward to their senior prom for a lot of reasons, but

25:50

many look forward to it in part because they get to pick out

25:52

their perfect white dress. Many wait until they are seniors to get a

25:54

white dress because they know and respect their tradition. Even

25:56

though not all seniors choose to wear white, they should still be the only

25:58

class of girls that has the choice. All

26:01

of the senior girls that were present in

26:03

homeroom on Thursday of last week were polled.

26:05

I forgot I did a poll. You polled

26:07

the homeroom. You were the original Instagram story

26:09

poll. Had

26:11

you polled? All of the senior girls that were present in homeroom

26:13

on Thursday last week were polled to see how they felt about

26:16

the tradition. Did you stand in front of the room and say,

26:18

I really organized this poll? Like, I told you about the poll.

26:20

I can't remember how I did it. I don't did I go

26:22

to every homeroom? I mean, there's probably every homeroom. I don't know.

26:24

Maybe I sent it out and like you filled it out. I

26:26

can't remember how I did this poll. I just imagine you standing

26:29

in front of the room and being like, all in favor say

26:31

aye, and then you go on the iPad. Yeah.

26:34

A whopping 80% believed that it is senior tradition

26:36

to wear white to the prom, while 19% disagreed

26:38

and 1% was undecided. 1%

26:43

who disagreed? Senior Tricia Jones stated, I waited three years

26:45

to wear a white dress and now it doesn't seem

26:47

special because so many underclassmen are doing it. Also, like

26:49

I interviewed like girls who were like kind of bitchy,

26:51

like friends, but I was like, I know Tricia will

26:53

pop off. And so will Jenny. Senior Jenny Davis said,

26:55

I want to wear white to the prom because I

26:58

think it's the senior tradition. And then I went for

27:00

the teachers. Many of the teachers at

27:02

Smyrna High feel that it's also a tradition that should be

27:04

kept. Yada, yada, blah, blah, blah. Mrs. Mary Conlon,

27:06

who has been a teacher at SHS for

27:08

21 years and is also the Sears Teacher

27:10

of the Year. So I had to throw that in. Give her some street

27:12

cred. Said that it is a tradition

27:14

the whole time she was in high school and has

27:16

been the whole time she has taught here. She stated,

27:18

I think it's a way to single out the seniors

27:20

on their special night and make them identifiable at the

27:22

prom. She adds, I think it should remain a tradition

27:25

because we're starting to lose a lot of those things

27:27

on which we look back on and then a whole

27:29

bunch of stuff like, you know, this is a magical

27:31

night, blah, blah, blah. But you did a lot of

27:33

work. You data, you had accolades, you reviewed. I got

27:35

a guy, Senior John Childs, who also brought kegs to

27:37

my Halloween party. So shout out to him. He said

27:39

it separates the seniors from the underclassmen. I think it

27:41

should stay a senior privilege. Plus, my girlfriend is wearing

27:43

white. Then I got a junior because I want

27:45

to get, you know, representation. Everybody, Junior Michelle

27:47

Walls agreed by commenting. Even though I'm underclassmen, I

27:49

still think wearing white is a senior tradition.

27:51

I got the one Jewish guy at the school,

27:54

Senior Jeff Stieleman. Some of the guys side by

27:56

saying I know that the tradition of wearing

27:58

white is supposed to be exclusive. senior girls.

28:00

If I were a senior girl and I knew that

28:02

underclassmen were wearing white, I would be quite perturbed. Not

28:04

the Jews. I

28:07

think I went on to be in politics. Literally, I was the

28:09

only Jewish person I knew. I went to- You

28:11

pushed him into politics. Yeah, he perturbed. Of course, he's

28:13

going to drop a big word on us. It

28:15

may not be a big deal to some, but it is to

28:17

many. It's a tradition that has not yet died, which was proven

28:19

by our survey. Prove of our future. Prove of our survey. And

28:22

should be respected. If we lose the one

28:25

tradition that is made to make senior girls

28:27

feel special on the most magical night of

28:29

their lives. Then what do we have left?

28:31

My straw. You really, really

28:33

believed in this. So

28:37

did the whole school reign at- I feel like you're not on my

28:39

side. I'm 100% on your side. Okay. And

28:42

the award-winning teachers and that Jew

28:44

and the guy and the junior

28:47

and all those bitches you interviewed.

28:49

Okay. I am not the 1%

28:51

of undecided. I am of the 80%. Okay.

28:54

So now let me also drop this, that

28:56

our newspaper ran in the town paper. So

28:59

it was like the last two pages of the town paper.

29:01

It was a really cool experience. It felt like a real

29:03

newspaper. Yeah. Like it ran in

29:05

the Smyrna, Clayton, Sun Times. So it felt like really

29:07

legit. The whole town read it. Right. So I just,

29:09

you know, I got to be the editor of that.

29:11

I like won some awards when I was in high

29:13

school for my writing because a lot of people saw

29:15

it. It was very cool. So this runs right in

29:17

the town paper. Okay. And of course some of the

29:19

junior girls were all pissed, but I was like, who fucking

29:21

cares about these girls? Right. But then some of the moms,

29:24

like some of the townie moms got all riled up

29:26

and started writing letters to the editor. And you're too

29:28

old town and you're like, little do you know you're

29:30

writing to me? Like one mom who also was a

29:32

fucking cunt and like, name her. My neighborhood. Right. I

29:35

like when I was a kid, I was like five.

29:37

I like left her house crying because the mom was

29:39

so mean to me. Like fuck this bitch forever. Right.

29:41

My mom was like, you're never going over there again.

29:43

She's such a bit. She wrote like a letter to

29:45

the editor, like dragging like me, essentially like the senior

29:47

girl. The fact that some moms got involved in this

29:49

is so crazy. So there was a drama in the

29:52

town and like Corey was like, my mom's friends are

29:54

like talking about this. You know, like it's a big

29:56

deal that moms are like, how dare they, our kids can

29:58

wear whatever we want. Whatever. So, but everyone's. I

30:00

was like, I'm winning out here. Like the teachers, the

30:02

seniors, whoever. Like I heard some like dumb rumors, some

30:04

junior girls were gonna throw drinks at me on the

30:06

prom. You know, like did your mom at any point

30:08

say, don't do this or I'm proud of you, you

30:10

should do this. No, I was telling you not to

30:12

do anything. My mom was like, this is par for

30:14

the course. Like, you know, her mom's like, Ashley's gonna

30:17

Ashley. So people are like, they're probably gonna like throw

30:19

a punch on you at the prom. I was like,

30:21

fucking bring it, bitches. You know, like

30:23

all tied up your dress. Bitch, like Carrie, you

30:25

know. So I didn't have a date this whole

30:27

time, right? Which I'm like, this is a little

30:29

weird, but maybe I just show up solo, just

30:32

like I run this town, whatever. So then I

30:34

got a date. We

30:36

gonna run this town. Yeah, exactly.

30:39

So like I got to show up. I'm like,

30:41

I don't care about boys or any of y'all. So

30:44

then I get set up with a date and

30:46

he would end up being my boyfriend, the first person.

30:48

I slept with like, you know, like my first like

30:50

love, technically whatever. So, and he just had like a

30:52

lot of swag. Like he really resembled Sean Patrick Henry

30:54

in St. Belaise Dance. And you know, here I am

30:56

a white girl. I was like, I am Julia Stiles.

30:58

You know, like I'm gonna break it down at this

31:00

dance. Like, remember we thought she just ate up those

31:03

dance moves back then. So I started to

31:05

talk to him more and get really excited for prom. And

31:07

then I'm like, oh my God, how am I even

31:09

going to Julia Stiles the dance floor in this white

31:11

princess dress? How

31:13

am I gonna feel his boner when we're grinding? You

31:15

know, like I can't wear that dress. Yeah, you didn't

31:18

actually think about the dress. I didn't think I was

31:20

gonna have this like swaggy date and nine layers of

31:22

tulle between the two. How

31:24

am I gonna bump and grind with this tulle? When

31:28

his tulle threw this tulle. So

31:31

I have a meltdown. I remember being in my

31:33

bedroom, be like, I can't wear that dress. I started to like panic.

31:35

Like I can't wear that dress. This

31:37

like expensive dress I've had for months. Like how can I

31:39

tell my mom whatever? So I just like went crying to

31:41

my mom. Like I can't do this. And I like, I

31:43

like this guy so much. And like, I just can't wear

31:45

this dress. I like had a full-blown meltdown. And she was

31:47

like, you are the fucking worst. She's like, the town's rooting

31:50

for you Ashley. Everybody's rooting for you. So I just like

31:52

begged. I was like, can I borrow some money? I'll pay

31:54

you back. I'm gonna have a summer job, obviously whatever. And

31:56

she was fine, like fine, fine. Just you

31:58

take my credit card, don't tell your father. and just

32:00

deal with this, whatever. Here's your max, you can spend,

32:02

let's go and get the fuck out of here. So

32:05

I had like a two day window to get this dress.

32:07

That was a week of prom. I had a meltdown week

32:09

of prom. I had a soccer game, senior things, whatever. So

32:11

I had like a two day window. I had an away

32:13

game that day. We had to leave the school, it was

32:15

so, I skipped school after lunch.

32:17

I went all the way up to Christiane

32:20

Mall, drove like 40 minutes, rolled up in

32:22

there, rolled up into cache, saw the loudest,

32:24

sluttiest red sequined dress, just copped

32:26

it, grabbed a little bag on the way out, stopped

32:28

into Macy's, bought a kitten heel, I

32:30

was back to school by 3.30 to leave for the away game, on the bus. So

32:34

I just found the perfect dress, right? So I

32:36

had this red dress. My mom was like, Ashley,

32:39

are you kidding me? She's like, I'm hearing about

32:41

this article. You're a white dress icon of this

32:43

town. You wrote this fucking thing, got the whole

32:45

town riled up, you're gonna wear red? And

32:51

I was like, I'm destined for greatness. You know, like

32:53

I was just like, yeah, I'm gonna do it. And

32:56

I started to get a little worried, like, is this okay?

32:58

Like, what's gonna happen? You know

33:00

what I mean? And so that's what I wore to

33:02

prom. I mean, like on prom night, this girl who

33:04

had pissed off the whole fucking town in the name

33:06

of the white dress tradition just rolled up in the

33:08

loudest fucking red dress anyone had ever seen. And I

33:11

was just like, it's what it is. It is like

33:13

president of the United States energy. It is so crazy

33:15

that you did this. What did people say? People

33:17

were giving me dirty looks and I shot them right back. You know, I was

33:19

like, I got this hot date on my arm. You know, I'm

33:21

bumping and grinding to jaw rule. You know, that was the

33:24

first time I got my pussy eight. I was like, I'm

33:26

on cloud nine, I don't give a fuck. Also, it's really

33:28

fun. I mean, who's gonna be mad at you besides the

33:30

junior girls? Like it's funny. It's a funny way to neg

33:32

people. It's like, I'm just standing up for

33:34

what's right. I'm not saying I'm gonna do it. This

33:37

is how it should be. Thank you, sir.

33:40

Exactly, I never said I was wearing white. Run

33:43

the tape on the article. I'm not gonna run that

33:45

article. That's it. Everyone did,

33:47

actually. I didn't write that

33:49

article, prove it. So

33:53

that is the Gondra story. That is so funny. Have you

33:55

seen it? I mean, don't worry guys, I'll post pictures of

33:57

both. But yeah, I mean, it's just, you can see the

33:59

cutout here. but it was just like

34:01

red. It's really red. Yeah, it's just

34:03

copper. That was the style. That

34:06

is so nice. I

34:08

know I feel like it's like a triangle cut

34:10

like diamond cut out at the top. Yeah. And

34:12

it's got a little halter straps at the top

34:14

and then totally open back. I

34:17

know. Nice. Really nice. Yeah, I think

34:19

I still have it. Thin dress. Yes.

34:21

It's all that penis. Yeah. I'm

34:26

just doing a nice. No, I've had you walk into

34:31

product. Yeah.

34:45

Meanwhile, it's like a Titanic theme, you know, like all

34:47

you do is I draw. Yeah.

34:49

So that's the story. And that's just like, I

34:51

don't know. It's like one of many. Like I

34:53

was just really just like, I'm going to do

34:56

me. I was like in subordinate could be kind

34:58

of a brat, but also just like, I

35:00

don't know. I didn't mind causing a stir. Like,

35:03

I don't know. I like wanted to be popular and well liked,

35:05

but I was just like, I don't care if you hate on

35:07

me. I don't know. It's an energy I did not have growing

35:09

up. Like it would have scared me to make a big stink

35:11

about something and then like stand in my power and be like,

35:13

I didn't say I was going to do this. I said other people shouldn't do

35:15

this. But I do think that was like, maybe

35:18

the first taste of like a hater. You know what

35:20

I mean? Like clearly that was no social media. Like

35:22

that was the first time I did something that got

35:24

public backlash, you know, and I definitely had mixed feelings

35:27

about it. Like I was like, this is a little

35:29

scary. Like moms are like coming at me, you know,

35:31

but you felt really confident and just being like, fuck

35:33

you guys. I don't care. Yeah. Back it up. I

35:36

was like, I

35:38

got these teachers on my side. Like I went

35:40

this round. Anyway, that's

35:42

the story. I love that dress. Borrow

35:44

that dress. Try that to a wedding.

35:46

That's hot. Bring

35:48

it back. The 90s are back in

35:51

style. Anyways, I hope you guys love that tea. I

35:53

hope you like to love his blind tea. Yeah. I

35:55

mean, honestly, I had more fun talking about it than if

35:57

he was on the show. This isn't to drag him. It's

35:59

just- just, well, I

36:01

don't actually care. It's a weird choice. I mean,

36:03

listen, I don't know him or his story. You

36:05

know, I just, I didn't see that one coming.

36:07

People were talking about Jeremy had a fiance, but

36:10

he kind of came out and said, no, that wasn't

36:13

true. You know, here's the piece. Well, he said we

36:15

broke up a little before. And then some girl said

36:17

that Jimmy was her boyfriend, but then TikToks, fluths, they

36:19

proved that to be untrue. Has this ever been said

36:21

about a woman that she came

36:23

on the show with a partner now? Maybe one

36:25

person on The Bachelor, don't you think? Like maybe

36:28

a couple years back, like some, but

36:30

then I don't even think it was really, just happens

36:32

to men. I just, I also think that like so

36:35

many people go on these shows with like, like the

36:37

women that went on the shows are also like pouring

36:39

their hearts out. Like a single mother like Jess talking

36:41

about her feelings and her emotions and pouring their hearts

36:43

out to somebody who's not gonna be with you. It's

36:46

so unfair to be that vulnerable person

36:48

that is literally there for the express

36:51

purpose of manipulating you. Oh my God.

36:53

Yeah, it's just like to be that

36:55

level of like dishonesty is just like

36:58

so gross. Knowing you have someone

37:00

at home and then you're texting them as soon as you get

37:02

the opportunity, yeah. People like bring all

37:04

those like, like personal items to like trade with

37:06

somebody on this line. It's just gross to me,

37:08

like manipulate people like that. I hate it. Yeah.

37:12

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get into our guests, our merch. So

39:36

I'm wearing some of the merch today. Raina

39:39

just delivered it to me. It came straight out of the bag. That's

39:41

why you see this little wrinkle. But you know, I'm trying to bring

39:43

wrinkles back. If wrinkles are in fashion, I'll never be late again. What

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are you going to write an article about wrinkles and then never wear

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our cute little like Los Angeles crop tee. I'm loving

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also a different color. It's small. It's great. I'm just

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like, it's, I'm big on a crop. and

40:00

so this is so cute. Like I'm wearing leggings

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can eat that kind of thing. Yeah, and the

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merch is there and our vibe's only products there.

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If you wanna get yourself a good high-end vibrator,

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we got you. Okay, Reina, so

40:18

excited to introduce this next guest. Yes?

40:20

I am so excited. All right guys,

40:23

we are very excited to welcome a

40:25

brand new guest today. He is a

40:27

dating guru and the voice behind the

40:29

wildly popular account, the Daddy Academy. The

40:31

New York Post says, this man is

40:33

teaching guys how to be daddies. Confident,

40:35

caring alpha men who aren't brewing in

40:37

their own angst and how to make

40:40

women feel at ease. Please welcome to

40:42

the show, Nico Emanu-lides. Thank you,

40:44

thanks for having me guys. Thanks for being

40:46

here. We're so excited to have you. I'm

40:48

excited. Your last name has 19 vowels

40:50

in it. It's out of control,

40:53

it's as Greek as it could possibly be. Listen,

40:55

we love that, that's a turn on. All right, I'll take

40:57

it. You're only here because we thought

40:59

you were hot on TikTok. No, I was like,

41:01

no, that's right. Speak for yourself. I do think

41:03

you were hot. I do think you were hot.

41:05

All right. Hey, I gotta get my

41:07

way in some way. And he's not single everybody, so

41:09

just keep it in your pants. But we actually

41:11

got a lot of requests for you from our

41:13

listeners as well. We asked on Instagram, specifically what

41:15

male guests do you wanna see? Because there's not

41:17

a ton of people like you doing what you

41:19

do. And we really love it.

41:22

I just, right before we got here, I was watching

41:24

a bunch of your content and just like prepping. And

41:26

I sent this to my boyfriend and I was like,

41:28

we have this guy at Daddy Academy coming on the

41:30

show today. He goes, what? I think

41:33

he was like, what are you, what's happening in that

41:35

room? I was like, no, you'll really

41:37

like his content. Cause he really, in terms of all

41:39

the stuff you speak about, he would graduate high

41:41

from the Academy. Yeah, yeah, I mean, that

41:43

will thank you for having me on. And

41:46

yeah, I'm the Dean of the Daddy Academy.

41:48

And that's it. Born and raised

41:50

in New York, you're from Westchester. I'm

41:52

from Westchester, New York. Southernville specifically, born

41:54

and raised, never left true New

41:56

Yorker. We love it. All right, well, tell

41:59

us. What about you? How did you become the

42:01

daddy of the Academy? That's a great question.

42:03

So Basically the way this

42:05

kind of all started is just do my

42:07

own like self-help confidence journey, you know I

42:10

was a young guy graduating high school I

42:12

was never like amazing with women like I

42:14

had confidence like graduated class clowns That's like

42:16

my claim to fame, right? But I never

42:18

like I was I was always texting my

42:20

friends like what do I say? What do

42:22

I say and just sort of as time

42:24

went on I just became really fascinated with

42:26

the you know man to woman just dating

42:28

Relationships I started at that time which like

42:30

10 years ago at this point maybe longer

42:32

I just started looking up, you know those content creators

42:35

and like learning about it and as time went on

42:37

and I was kind of developed into myself I

42:40

just sort of became like really comfortable with it

42:42

And now I kind of got to a point

42:44

where I was helping my friends helping my sister

42:46

helping her friends And I'm like,

42:48

you know what there's something here I've always

42:51

wanted a platform where I'm helping people entertaining

42:53

people just spreading positivity and I'm like the

42:55

Daddy Academy So funny name about

42:57

the name Sorry

42:59

about the name Right. So during

43:02

COVID right? I was nothing to do. I was just like

43:04

going to the gym and stuff So I was just sending

43:06

pump up videos to my friends I'm

43:08

going to the gym where this is the

43:10

Daddy Academy, baby and everyone was just like dying at

43:12

the name I'm like, you know what? That's a really

43:14

good name like there's something to do it It's kind

43:17

of funny though or something So that's kind of the

43:19

name came about and in the last year or so

43:21

I just started posting this content

43:23

online like, you know Wellness dating

43:26

and it took like eight months and then you know, nothing

43:28

really was going on and then one day I made a

43:30

video about what it means for a man to have bad

43:32

energy and sort of just blew

43:34

up and now we're here Yeah, okay. What

43:37

is daddy energy? Give it to us. Oh, I'll tell

43:39

you exactly Your girlfriend's

43:41

gonna hunt me down. She's like you gotta stop this bitch

43:43

stop So I gotta

43:45

give a little context So a lot of the

43:48

content out there for men nowadays is

43:50

basically either you're an alpha male

43:52

So you're super macho man, right

43:54

or your beta male you're a

43:56

bitch Okay, so to me that's

43:58

not very like digestible for guys

44:01

because not every guy resonates with

44:03

being like you know macho man

44:05

and neither do women's wants what

44:07

woman wants either I'm like you

44:11

know what women love like who's somebody

44:13

online that women love right Pedro Pascal

44:15

right he's the daddy of

44:18

the internet no no there's

44:20

science to this so

44:23

a man who's in his daddy energy right

44:25

he's masculine he's

44:27

not hyper masculine because there's a spectrum

44:29

of masculinity that women like to find

44:31

attractive right he's about his purpose he's

44:33

trying to achieve the goals in his

44:35

life he sees about his physical fitness

44:37

whatnot right but he's the lens that

44:39

he's going through life with is through

44:41

the lens of love giving

44:43

spreading positivity and good vibes right it doesn't take

44:45

life too seriously okay the type of guy where

44:48

he walks into a room everybody

44:50

wants to be his friend men women

44:52

people just gravitate to him because he's

44:54

this beacon of light and fun and

44:57

good vibes that's what women

44:59

find attractive not these guys

45:01

with the podcast you sit around the table let's talk

45:03

about how women are all shit well they're disrespecting

45:05

women like right yeah at the end

45:07

of the day like you can do

45:10

both you can be takes to to

45:12

tango so why are we gonna sit around

45:14

around table and just talk bad about women

45:16

what they do the women not know what

45:19

they want right so I'm hoping with the

45:21

Daddy Academy sort of be that middle ground

45:23

for men to kind of learn

45:25

about their authenticity like okay I don't have to

45:27

be all the way on this side to be

45:29

attractive and for women to like me like if

45:32

I just tap into my authenticity work to be

45:34

the best version of myself that I could be

45:36

working my physical fitness my passions in life strive

45:38

to be then that's attractive and

45:40

then just learning like little tips and tricks

45:42

obviously and then I could easily

45:44

you know find a woman who's gonna love

45:47

that so like that's my messaging to men

45:49

yeah right so women it's okay let's

45:51

take a look at these guys you're dating dating

45:54

pool isn't fantastic but let's look at these guys

45:56

you're dating and from those early

45:58

stages we could tell is

46:01

this man truly prioritizing you for something serious

46:03

or not based on his actions and how

46:05

he's kind of going about things so

46:08

that's what the Daddy Academy is about. I

46:10

love, we both do, the clips and

46:12

really straightforward advice and it's not flippant,

46:14

it's not dismissive, it's just this is

46:16

what's probably happening in these situations and

46:18

here's how you can pivot your behavior

46:20

and expectations to find somebody who is

46:22

a real daddy. That's right

46:24

we're trying to find daddies, we're trying to

46:26

make more daddies, the world just needs more

46:29

daddies in general. I mean this is the

46:31

thing I talk about all the time where and I

46:33

do feel like I found somebody that I feel like

46:35

is very rare but it shouldn't be. It's somebody that

46:38

is masculine and also is emotional and

46:40

treats me well and respects you know it's like

46:42

and you think like oh my god this insane

46:44

dichotomy it shouldn't be that rare

46:46

like you shouldn't have to choose Andrew

46:49

Tate or I don't know who's

46:51

the Timothy Chalamet. But Timothy

46:53

Chalamet is giving daddy energy now I feel

46:56

like. I hear your point I'm

46:58

trying to think of like a better example. So yeah we

47:00

just love what you're doing and I do want to fly

47:02

one thing you said you had a sister which I think

47:04

is very important you know you're not you don't get to

47:06

choose that but I feel like I've been having this conversation

47:08

a lot about like guys who have sisters even older or

47:10

younger sister. I have a younger sister and that's something

47:12

I've talked about a little bit. I

47:14

feel like a man who has a younger

47:16

sister like three to five

47:18

years younger he kind of grows up

47:21

with that natural sort of like protector

47:24

role and like knows how to like treat well

47:26

I played Barbie dolls you know how many Barbie

47:28

dolls I've played with and then like the Barbie

47:31

Dreamhouse and the car I take my Godzilla toys

47:33

and put them in the Barbie car we drive

47:35

around so it's like men who have a younger

47:37

sister kind of grew up tapped into their feminine

47:40

energy but in like a healthy way and that

47:43

like sort of protector way. I've noticed

47:45

that a lot with men with younger sisters that they

47:47

tend to like treat women. And then older sisters I

47:49

mean I read an article recently about older sisters because

47:51

then you grow up respecting this female that's not just

47:53

your mom you know you have these guys that are

47:55

like they're terrible guys but they're like but I love

47:57

my mom you know I feel like sometimes when guys

48:00

too hard on their mom, it's just a cover-up for

48:02

hating women. You know, like, but you know, my mom,

48:04

and it's just like... All fuckboys are obsessed with their

48:06

moms. Yeah, they use it as a get out of

48:08

jail free card for being shitty to all other women.

48:10

Yes, but yes, an older sister, like, my brother got

48:13

to see a woman who was, like, strong. He's so

48:15

proud of me, so impressed by the stuff I do,

48:17

and he was always my parents' favorite, so I look

48:19

up to him too. But we

48:21

like that you sort of, like, look at these questions

48:23

that women ask and just say, like, this person isn't

48:26

into you, and, like, let's pivot to find somebody who

48:28

is, almost. I was talking to you

48:30

before this, and Ash and I were looking at your content

48:32

and some of the different things, like, if he wanted to,

48:34

he would, and men having a roster. And so we do

48:36

want to get into some of these behaviors and have you,

48:38

for lack of... man's plain of toss. Mm-hmm. We'll

48:41

get into it. I'm ready. Yeah, I

48:43

mean, I feel like just let's start with this,

48:45

if he wanted to, he would thing. And because everything

48:48

kind of trickles down from there, and then how a

48:50

healthy, masculine man pursues a woman, this is all

48:52

kind of tied in, in, like, the intentionality and things

48:54

like that. Yeah, so this is what I

48:56

would say about if he wanted to, he would. Okay,

48:58

it's true 98% of the time. Right,

49:01

acceptance variable. Okay, it is. The

49:03

only exception here is if you

49:06

have this man who is, you

49:08

know, he has his own business, he's pursuing

49:10

this goal that takes a lot of time

49:12

and mental energy. Like, you have to give

49:14

a guy a little bit of

49:16

a pass there, but you also have

49:18

to read the situation, okay? Is this

49:20

guy truly running a business, striving for

49:22

this goal? Or is he

49:24

the 3 a.m. guy at Planet Fitness?

49:27

Right. You got to look and

49:29

get the whole story, see the whole picture from

49:31

the way that he's acting, the way he behaves,

49:33

like, really, like, you know, look at his socials,

49:35

get a vibe for this man, and then you

49:37

could tell the truth if he's truly a man

49:40

who's after this passion and this goal,

49:42

or if he's just using that as,

49:44

like, an excuse to blow you

49:46

off. But if he wanted to, he would.

49:48

It's true, like I said, like 98% of

49:50

the time, like, and if he's not prioritizing

49:52

you, it might not be another woman,

49:54

but there's something else that he's prioritizing. It could be

49:56

whatever it is, but if he wanted to, he would,

49:58

is 100% true. Any man

50:00

who has a girlfriend knows like when you

50:02

meet that woman who you want to make

50:05

your girlfriend Like you're gonna make it happen

50:07

and that's just a fact everybody if they

50:09

wanted to they would I really try to come visit me

50:11

And I'm like I would confirm this if I wanted you

50:13

to stay with me. I don't want you to stay with

50:15

me Yeah, if I wanted to make plans with you, I

50:17

would like if I wanted to text you back I would

50:20

I think that's just normal human behavior And I think

50:22

that there's exceptions to every rule and we don't want

50:24

people to feel like they have no agency like everybody

50:26

should feel Like they're in the driver's seat and you

50:29

can initiate a date initiate a text But there's some

50:31

point in which you have to pivot take a hint

50:33

I'd like that you mentioned that too But then sometimes

50:35

it's like but he's so busy doing this and that

50:37

and it's like that he doesn't want to like that Well

50:39

again, let's come back to our if you wanted to do what he

50:41

actually doesn't want to we have a friend right now And

50:43

she's in this relationship this guy. It's he's never gonna be

50:45

busier than now. He's just getting out of med school He's

50:47

trying to get his residency. He's doing his boards. I mean,

50:49

no one is busier than this guy They

50:52

met it, you know quote unquote the worst time in

50:54

both of their lives She's starting a business and they're

50:56

making it work They only see each other on the

50:58

weekends and they make it work cuz he wanted to

51:00

like if you would look at this guy's You

51:03

know timeline it couldn't be probably worse time

51:05

to try to fit in a girlfriend like

51:07

a serious committed relationship But

51:10

here we are, you know, and she's had to kind of

51:12

work around a schedule too. And so Examples

51:14

like that I get it You only have so

51:16

much capacity if you really are some big entrepreneur

51:18

this and that but then it goes back to

51:20

the well Then I don't want to go for

51:22

it now. I can't handle it Right because if

51:25

they want to they do and I'm the

51:27

same way. So it's actually we run two businesses We're on

51:29

tour we've lots going on. We fit people into our lives

51:32

when we want to Exactly. It's

51:34

not that hard. Not everybody is busy

51:37

24 hours a day non It's

51:40

like it's actually impossible most guys just get

51:42

home for work They'll text you like I'm

51:44

so busy babe and they're just scratching their

51:46

balls on their phone Like you

51:48

know, like it's true if you wanted to he

51:50

would it's true and it's true for men and

51:53

women It's just like you guys said it's like

51:55

you have to stop telling yourself excuses

51:58

at some point like if you a pattern

52:00

that's when you have to stop. Someone

52:03

could be busy one week

52:05

or one day. But if you're seeing this

52:07

pattern, that's when you have to go, okay,

52:09

what's going on here and really

52:11

look back and be like, okay, what's been happening?

52:14

He's always busy on the weekends, but he

52:16

says he's working. It's like, he's not working

52:18

on the weekends. He turns you into Miss

52:20

Wednesday. We don't want to be Jenna Ortega

52:22

here. We don't want to be Wednesday. We

52:24

want Prime Time, Friday, Saturday night, big time.

52:26

Quality time. I just was

52:28

watching your TikTok and I just wanted to

52:30

at least speak on this briefly, is this

52:32

like, should I follow up on this vague

52:34

plans? And it ends in this,

52:36

you know, if you wanted to, but I really love

52:38

this because I think Rayne and I hear this all

52:40

the time. He said, you know, on

52:42

Tuesday or, you know, maybe the weekend and

52:45

should I follow up? And so let's touch

52:47

base this weekend. Are we touching base? No,

52:49

you're not touching base. You're not

52:51

touching base. He didn't forget. He didn't

52:54

men in black. He knows.

52:59

He knows that he told you, hey, let's

53:01

do something Friday or Saturday. And

53:04

you're like, yeah, OK, reach back out. And

53:06

then he doesn't do it because what he's

53:08

doing, this is Roster Town, USA. This is

53:10

a guy who's keeping you probably as a

53:12

second or third option and is

53:14

just kind of just seeing how his week plays

53:16

out. And maybe you'll hear from him Saturday

53:18

at 10 p.m. What are you doing?

53:20

Like, if he wanted to take you out and

53:23

this is a woman that he's like, I'm crazy

53:25

about this girl. Like, I don't want to let

53:27

her slip away. Like, she's some other guy is

53:29

going to ask her on a date. Like, my

53:31

man doesn't want to let that one walk. OK.

53:34

And men know that women, you know, men are going to

53:36

ask them out. Hot commodities. So it's like if you want

53:38

to lock someone in, like he's going to lock them in.

53:41

So can we debunk? Like, he's texting me all the

53:43

time. The banter is great. I hear from him via

53:45

text all the time. We're not setting dates. Like, what

53:47

is that? Texting doesn't mean anything.

53:50

Texting means nothing. It's about the consistency

53:52

between the follow through of the actions.

53:54

OK, there's words and actions. If there's

53:56

no follow through and there's no consistency

53:59

in the amount. that you're seeing

54:01

him in relationship to the texting and

54:03

the communication, then you're a pen pal.

54:06

Right, you're a clown in his phone. Well,

54:08

and I think it doesn't

54:10

mean he hates you or thinks you're ugly or

54:12

doesn't want to fuck you. It's just like you're

54:14

not the top priority. So isn't that what any

54:17

relationship brain and I have both ever been in.

54:19

You know what that feeling feels like when someone

54:21

is pursuing you, they only want you, you're prioritized.

54:24

So we should all be striving for the

54:26

way that that feels. Like if you have

54:28

other options, then you should be fine being

54:30

someone's option. But if you're looking for the

54:32

relationship, why are you letting someone treat you

54:34

like an option? Exactly, that's it. And

54:37

it's like, you need to be very clear at the beginning

54:40

what you're looking for out of dating. If

54:42

you're cool with something casual and you're like,

54:44

that's fine. But if you want

54:46

a relationship, and the guys just said it, like there's

54:48

a very obvious feeling of a guy who's pursuing you

54:50

in this way. Like it feels totally different to any

54:52

other type of guy you've gone out on a date

54:54

with. Like it's just gonna be very

54:56

consistent. You're gonna see him consistently. You're gonna hear

54:59

from him consistently. You're not gonna be wondering, when

55:01

am I gonna hear from this guy next? And

55:03

it's just gonna feel really smooth. And you're gonna

55:05

feel very safe in knowing what

55:08

his intentions are and how he feels

55:10

about you. So if there's inconsistencies here,

55:12

then he isn't really sure of how he feels

55:15

about you. Or he is sure, he just knows that he wants

55:17

to be a little bit more casual. He is sure. He does

55:19

not want to think. He's sure, he's trying to say something. So

55:21

this is early stages of a relationship. And I

55:23

don't think either one of us has like a

55:25

no tolerance policy. People are busy. They do have

55:27

a couple people in their life that they're dating.

55:29

That's fine. As long as you're not full stop,

55:31

pause. I'm putting all my eggs in this basket

55:33

with this person that I'm not hearing from, that

55:35

I'm waiting for, that I did my makeup and

55:37

maybe I'm gonna hear from them for a plan

55:39

tonight. Like it's okay for other people to be

55:41

dating others, but I don't wanna feel disrespected in

55:43

my time. I don't wanna wait around, not know.

55:45

Like if you say let's make plans Saturday, I

55:47

don't hear from you on Friday, I'm making plans.

55:50

You can come to the plans, but I'm gonna

55:52

make a plan with my girlfriends. You're welcome to

55:54

come along if you text me. Yeah, the most

55:56

valuable thing we all have is our time. And

55:58

if somebody is disrespecting your time. Like that's just

56:00

grounds to ghost them and never talk to them

56:02

ever again Like if you get blown off once

56:05

like if he gives a really good response why

56:07

like maybe we could we'll see

56:09

how it goes But like if somebody's continuously

56:11

playing with your time, that's not something you

56:13

should stay in Yeah, I think

56:15

back to like something that Nick vial

56:18

says to where he's just like guys aren't that

56:20

different from women when they like that

56:22

You know, like they're thinking about them all the

56:24

time wanting to text them all the time. They're

56:26

talking their friends They're obsessing over everything, you know,

56:29

we've watched it happen too like with our guy

56:31

friends or things like that And it's

56:33

just like again, this isn't like a rule across

56:35

the board But it's I think sometimes we've been

56:37

fed this thing that well guys are just you

56:39

know, well in general They're just more aloof. They're

56:41

not gonna this they're not gonna that and it's

56:43

like, I don't know That's not really been in

56:45

my experience. Like when a guy really wants a

56:47

woman. He is like stopping at nothing Yeah, right

56:49

and that's sort of the past that

56:52

a lot of men get I call

56:54

it like the dumb guy mess. Yes

56:56

Yeah, oh I was like, oh

56:59

guys, you know, it's the funniest thing. They're so

57:01

sleepy Very

57:13

sleepy, okay, but that's it called

57:15

the dumb guy method. Okay guys

57:17

know that women perceive them to be

57:19

kind of dumb Dumb we're

57:21

not that dumb we're dumb, but we're not that

57:24

even if you're dumb you're gonna pursue a girl

57:26

you like You

57:29

know Know

57:36

the women that they want. Okay, there's a perfect

57:38

example of this So you've gone out a date

57:40

with some weird guy and you're like, oh, I

57:42

don't like this guy. I'm dumping him You dump

57:44

him and then he's obsessively blowing you up.

57:46

I miss you. I love you. I love you forever That

57:49

man knows what he wants. Mm-hmm. He

57:51

knows what he wants. Yeah, so it's like Every

57:54

guy knows that you know, they're behavior.

57:56

It's kind of depends but guys know

57:58

what they want I acted

58:00

pretty intolerable and still had men pursue me.

58:03

If they want you, they will stop at

58:05

nothing. I've done crazy shit and had men

58:07

still pursuing. It's so true. I saw past

58:09

boyfriends in early stages, especially when I was

58:11

younger and I was just a drunk mess.

58:13

You know what I'm like, there's no way

58:15

he's calling me again. Next day, boo boo boo,

58:18

want to hang out tonight? What? Why?

58:21

I think that's a great point. There

58:23

are all these little guidelines and rules

58:25

to follow to kind of make

58:28

sure you're going about dating the right way. But

58:30

at the end of the day, the right man

58:32

for you or the right woman for him, like

58:34

it's going to work out. You could do everything

58:36

completely wrong. And if the guy has these true

58:38

intentions for you and he feels that

58:40

connection, like you could mess up a lot and

58:42

it won't make that big of a difference. Right.

58:44

Totally. You shouldn't feel like you're walking on eggshells all

58:46

the time. Like one misstep and he's going to stop

58:48

liking you. That's not really reality. That doesn't know. I

58:50

hooked up with this guy and I found out he

58:52

had a girlfriend and then I told her this is

58:54

years ago and they broke up. And

58:57

then I heard from him like a month later,

58:59

I ruined his life and he still respect

59:01

out to me. They're sick. There's

59:03

nothing you can do to make them go away if

59:06

they want to date you. I know. OK. And I

59:08

want to just close the loop on this. I mean,

59:10

there are people that are shy. There's men that are

59:12

shy, of course. And they're not as pursuant. They're not

59:14

as much of a hunter. So like there

59:17

are people that fit into that box. How much should we

59:19

be like texting and like taking the lead? Because there are

59:21

some people like, I know this guy. He's just shy. He's

59:23

not like super pursuant. Not such a hunter. When

59:26

do you say like cut your losses and go?

59:28

All right. So this is my this is my

59:30

stance on this. OK, for the most

59:32

part, like think of it like

59:35

a car. Right. The guy is driving the car.

59:37

But women typically you're the one

59:39

putting the gas in the car. Well, so I

59:41

call those like indicators of interest. So you should

59:43

be giving a man these indicators of interest that

59:46

you want to go out with them. You want

59:48

to see him again. You want him to keep

59:50

doing the right things. Throw the dog the bone,

59:52

as they say. Right. So by doing that, you

59:55

could help along these guys. It just depends on

59:57

the guy. Some guys need a little bit more

59:59

indicators. of interest than others. Some guys

1:00:01

like you said are just naturally hunters. They

1:00:03

know how to pursue their boom boom setting

1:00:05

the dates, whatever. Some guys are a little

1:00:07

shy or they maybe their confidence isn't quite

1:00:10

at the point where they're able to read

1:00:12

your interest level. So by you

1:00:14

making it a little more obvious for him, he

1:00:17

could then take that lead and run with it.

1:00:20

But as far as like you ladies like trying

1:00:22

to plan and set the dates, I think that's

1:00:24

fine at a certain point in your sort of

1:00:26

relationship. But you just want to be careful about

1:00:28

doing that too soon and sort of forcing the

1:00:30

issue with somebody before they've showed you that that's

1:00:35

sort of the direction they want things to go because you'd be

1:00:37

like, oh, things have been going great. But you set up the

1:00:39

past three dates and he's just going along for the ride. So

1:00:42

you have to just be it's a fine line there. Okay, I

1:00:44

love that point. I think that there's this kind

1:00:46

of old school thinking of like, just be a

1:00:48

bitch, you know, and it's like, I don't know,

1:00:50

like, I think those guys want

1:00:52

a woman that makes them feel good, like feel

1:00:54

desired, feel, you know, not over the top, but

1:00:56

just like feel like you want to spend time

1:00:59

with them. And I know guys that are just

1:01:01

a little more in their head. You know, I

1:01:03

think like, even a younger generation just has more

1:01:05

anxiety, maybe more insecurity wrapped into that and more

1:01:07

spiraling, like, I don't know if she likes me

1:01:09

and this and that. And so to your point,

1:01:12

yes, like show someone you like them, you

1:01:14

know, not smothering them not over the top,

1:01:16

but like the indicators like you said, exactly.

1:01:19

And that should help the guy kind of

1:01:21

get the hint. My problem with like, some

1:01:23

women do sometimes just like, they keep doing

1:01:25

it, keep doing it, keep doing then the

1:01:27

guy's not taking the hint. Like I said,

1:01:29

we just said earlier, guys aren't stupid. He

1:01:31

knows that you're showing him signs that you like him.

1:01:34

If he doesn't take the ball and run with it.

1:01:36

Now you're chasing. And you know what else? Ask

1:01:39

a girlfriend. Like, my boyfriend told me he did this,

1:01:41

he showed his best girlfriend a text for me and

1:01:43

she was like, she's into you because

1:01:45

I think he was like, I don't know, you know, and

1:01:47

like the backstory, whatever had him in his head a little

1:01:49

bit. And she was like, no, no,

1:01:51

this is what we do as women. So

1:01:54

it's like, have a girl's way in or,

1:01:56

you know, you have a friend like you.

1:01:58

But no, that's true. I mean, a

1:02:00

lot of guys, you know, guys get a bad

1:02:02

rap, you know, but it's really only a small

1:02:05

percentage of guys who are really running

1:02:07

the rosters and doing all this. If

1:02:09

a lot of guys, there's a lot

1:02:11

of really great guys out there who

1:02:13

just don't quite know how to go

1:02:15

about those pursuing phases in the early

1:02:17

stages and how to kind of convey

1:02:19

themselves in the most like attractive

1:02:21

way. Because men's biggest problem is they usually come

1:02:24

across as way too needy and clingy. And then

1:02:26

like women are kind of like repulsed by that

1:02:28

like, Oh, I thought this guy was cool. And

1:02:30

then he starts blowing me up and saying weird

1:02:32

shit. Like, so a lot of

1:02:35

men need to learn how to like, take

1:02:37

a chill pill. Okay, you just went on

1:02:39

this date, don't blow her up, give her

1:02:41

a little chit chat for a day or

1:02:43

two and then ask her on the next

1:02:46

date. Like don't start going all in texting

1:02:48

all day every day. It's just a much

1:02:50

healthier, better pace to allow that space between

1:02:52

the dates, not smothering communication because

1:02:54

through that space, people, you sort of decipher

1:02:57

your feelings and realize like, how do I

1:02:59

actually feel about this? If you're just blowing

1:03:01

each other up and seeing each other every

1:03:04

day, every day, every day, you're building a

1:03:06

connection based in just dopamine and those exciting

1:03:08

new feelings, not actually rooted in is

1:03:11

this person a good match for me or not? How am I feeling

1:03:13

when I'm away? Distance makes the heart

1:03:15

grow fonder, right? Yeah, that's just that. It's really

1:03:17

true. Yeah. I

1:03:19

mean, I think so much texting builds a bit of a

1:03:21

false sense of intimacy where you're like, we talk constantly and

1:03:23

we laugh all the time in the bandage, I know so

1:03:25

much about it, but you don't really know so much about

1:03:28

them. So it's nice to take your time. I think life

1:03:30

is long and we can take our time and not have

1:03:32

to see somebody every single day. I

1:03:34

mean, do whatever feels good, but I still think we can

1:03:36

take our time. Yeah. And that's why

1:03:38

what I sort of preach is like

1:03:40

the healthiest way for the beginning stages of a relationship.

1:03:42

And like you said, you could break the rules and

1:03:45

can still work out perfectly, but this is just a

1:03:47

way to sort of ensure that you're not giving your

1:03:49

time and energy to people who don't deserve it because

1:03:51

you don't know what their true intentions are. So I

1:03:53

always say for men, because like I said, men's biggest

1:03:55

problem is they typically come across as too needy. So

1:03:58

the best way to kind of settle that feeling

1:04:01

is one date per week for the first

1:04:03

three weeks to a month, right? Consistent

1:04:06

communication, not constant communication, always making sure

1:04:08

she knows like the next time she's

1:04:10

gonna hear from you, she knows like

1:04:12

your feelings and how you're progressing this,

1:04:15

right? But you're allowing that space and

1:04:18

time for one for her

1:04:20

to see that your intentions are pure, right? Because if

1:04:22

you just love bomb and see somebody five times in

1:04:24

the first week of knowing them, you don't know that

1:04:27

person. You literally don't know him at all and after

1:04:29

a month you might not even know him, but probably

1:04:31

closer to two months you can get a good idea,

1:04:33

but it just behooves both parties to

1:04:35

kind of take their time in the early stages

1:04:37

because if it's meant to work out, it's gonna

1:04:40

work out and all it's gonna

1:04:42

do is weed out people who are

1:04:44

after things that aren't genuine or just you know

1:04:46

if you're looking for a relation to this guy

1:04:48

might just be trying to, okay if I could

1:04:50

see her twice this week and then early next

1:04:52

week I could probably hook up with her really

1:04:54

quick, right? We don't want that. You want to

1:04:57

see how a man operates over that period

1:04:59

of time so you can get a really

1:05:01

good vibe for his true intentions. Create scares

1:05:03

today. Yes. Yeah and I definitely

1:05:05

support that, but I think you also hear like

1:05:07

our friends we mentioned and you know I've had

1:05:09

some relationships in my past where you just like

1:05:12

kind of know and you do, you're not spending

1:05:14

every night together, but it is a little

1:05:16

more frequent. You might have that story of like I don't know we

1:05:18

just kind of like spent the whole weekend together

1:05:20

and it was early stages and we just kind of knew but

1:05:22

I think that's when both parties are

1:05:24

like really into it and secure about it

1:05:27

and like you're also both in the same stage

1:05:29

of life. You know I think

1:05:31

you can feel that difference where it's like this

1:05:33

insane like love-bomby situation and when you're just like

1:05:35

I don't know we just kind of knew and

1:05:38

we just you know like I think of like

1:05:40

Eden and her husband they just got engaged six

1:05:42

weeks and like they were very like, there's exceptions

1:05:44

there, there's exceptions to every rule of just kind

1:05:46

of like we just knew and we were both

1:05:48

securely attached knew we wanted out of life and

1:05:50

we just went full court press on each other

1:05:52

but I want to also just hold on what

1:05:55

you said like you know when you're gonna hear

1:05:57

from him again that's like so important I think

1:05:59

that's what drives women crazy and probably men

1:06:01

too of just like I don't know what I'm

1:06:03

gonna hear from them again like I don't know

1:06:05

if I'll ever see them again so like I

1:06:08

would hope you know that the good guys

1:06:10

out there like understand that's like a feeling

1:06:13

you should provide. Yeah no my recommendation for

1:06:15

that is this right so let's say let's say

1:06:17

we go on a first date right we go

1:06:19

on a first date on a Saturday we have

1:06:21

a great time and afterwards you text

1:06:23

me oh we had a great time I said oh I

1:06:25

did too right maybe the next day I'll

1:06:27

open up with a little chit chat or something like

1:06:29

oh I'd love to see you again what do you

1:06:32

have going on next weekend and maybe you say oh

1:06:34

I'm free Friday night I'll say perfect you know what

1:06:36

I'll hit you up on Wednesday with the

1:06:38

plan and we'll get it all straight so

1:06:40

then you might not hear hear from me

1:06:43

Monday Tuesday but you know that you're

1:06:45

gonna hear from me on Wednesday I told

1:06:47

you when to expect to hear from me

1:06:49

and that's the comfort that women want to

1:06:51

hear it's not about like not hearing from

1:06:53

it's about knowing when you're gonna hear from

1:06:55

him and when somebody says they're gonna do

1:06:57

it that they actually do it what a

1:06:59

nice comforting feeling yeah following through the

1:07:01

actions and the words and then there's

1:07:03

the follow-through and then we get to

1:07:06

relax you know like we say

1:07:08

this all the time when we talk about attachment styles

1:07:10

like you can really be pretty

1:07:12

innately secure and someone can make you

1:07:14

anxious you know based on the way

1:07:16

they're treating you their communication so when

1:07:19

you really come to expect someone's gonna do what they say

1:07:21

they're gonna do you know you're gonna see them again you

1:07:23

know they're into you you know enough to keep moving the

1:07:25

goalpost you're like you can just chill and

1:07:28

be your true self too you know there's

1:07:30

nothing worse than that feeling you're like we've

1:07:32

all been there as women where we're like

1:07:34

I didn't even recognize myself this guy had

1:07:36

turned me into like a weird anxious clingy

1:07:38

version of myself and who wants that? I

1:07:40

hear that all the time and that's a

1:07:42

man who's spinning plates let's talk about

1:07:45

a roster let's talk about a

1:07:47

man who can build a roster all

1:07:50

right so you might think this is

1:07:52

good because he has good team management

1:07:54

skills I am NOT a team

1:07:56

player okay yeah no we're the star

1:07:59

player okay I'm the only player. Right.

1:08:02

That's it. You're the only player on that

1:08:04

team. We don't want to burn on the bench. We're not the

1:08:06

second or third leading scorer. We want to be the star of

1:08:08

the team. Okay? So when it comes

1:08:10

to a man who's running a roster, and the way to

1:08:12

sort of tell if you're on one or not is

1:08:15

pretty similar to what I was saying earlier. It's the inconsistencies

1:08:18

in his behavior, communications, and

1:08:20

how much you're seeing him.

1:08:23

Right? Like I said earlier,

1:08:25

are you only seeing this guy on Wednesdays

1:08:27

or Monday nights? And

1:08:29

you only see him every two weeks? It's like, what do

1:08:31

you think he's doing all this other time? Who's

1:08:34

getting Saturday? Yeah. The star

1:08:36

player is getting Saturday. Totally. Yeah. Absolutely.

1:08:39

So it's very obvious, but the

1:08:41

way that men will sort of

1:08:44

make up for the lack of seeing you, right? Like

1:08:47

if I, if you're like my,

1:08:49

if you're like my third girl, right? If you're

1:08:51

third string, I'm not seeing you every week. I

1:08:53

might see you every two weeks. So then what

1:08:55

I would do is like you text

1:08:57

a lot, right? So that's what we're talking about. The

1:08:59

texting is false comfort. Yeah. If

1:09:01

I text you a lot and say, Hey, baby, I can't wait

1:09:03

to see you again. I'm just so busy. I'm

1:09:05

so busy a footlocker. I can't see. You

1:09:08

know, the footlocker manager, footlocker, man. You

1:09:12

worked there in high school. Be

1:09:14

honest. I did not

1:09:16

work. I did not work. They were referee. Like

1:09:18

they were actually running a roster. There

1:09:24

you go. Yeah. And

1:09:26

that's how you could sort of

1:09:28

tell like where you sort of

1:09:30

stand. Like how often are you actually

1:09:33

seeing him? That's

1:09:35

the key. The communication, the texting, the phone

1:09:37

calls, the guys, a guy who's really experienced

1:09:39

will throw in some face time, you know,

1:09:42

but how often are you actually seeing him?

1:09:44

If you're not seeing him at least once

1:09:46

a week, there's a problem. If you

1:09:48

are in this cycle where you're like, I'm getting a

1:09:50

lot of texts, face times. I like that. That

1:09:53

feels good. How do we break the cycle?

1:09:55

Do we stop responding? Do we stop answering? So

1:09:57

you sort of have to put a little test.

1:10:00

in place. I just was working with a client

1:10:02

and this actually really worked. Okay. So

1:10:04

you have to see the pattern. Like I said, you have to figure

1:10:07

out what this pattern is. Like I just used what

1:10:09

I was saying. You're only seeing them on Wednesdays. You've

1:10:11

never seen them on a Friday or Saturday night. You've

1:10:13

been going out for like a month and a half,

1:10:15

two months at this point. You are no longer available

1:10:17

during the week. You're no longer

1:10:20

available. Okay. So you're like,

1:10:22

we're going out Friday or Saturday or we're

1:10:24

not going out. And then you see

1:10:26

where his priorities are. If you don't see

1:10:28

him, you don't see him for two, three weeks. Then

1:10:30

it's done. Then you know, that's the answer. They wasn't

1:10:32

willing to give it to you. So you have to

1:10:34

take away your availability and the way that you've been

1:10:36

giving it to him. Flip it to the opposite and

1:10:40

then see if he makes the changes

1:10:42

to meet your new schedule, your new

1:10:44

communication style. And if he's willing to

1:10:46

do that, that's obviously a good sign.

1:10:48

If he doesn't, then he's going

1:10:50

to let you walk. He'll just replace you with the next person

1:10:53

on the bench. I'll put me in coach. He's like,

1:10:55

God, I've just picked up weekends at Foot Locker, babe. I

1:10:57

got to work a double at the mall. Like I just,

1:10:59

we aren't going to work for me. I

1:11:01

guess if you never draw a boundary, I don't know if you can

1:11:03

expect other people to like sniff out where

1:11:05

it is, but once you say this is it,

1:11:07

then I think it's pretty easy to know what's

1:11:10

going on. And I do like the idea of

1:11:12

making yourself a little less available, not texting as

1:11:14

much, answering the FaceTimes. Because I think that people

1:11:16

get that real dopamine hit when you do. And

1:11:18

they don't need to make plans to see you

1:11:21

and hang out. But do you think, I mean,

1:11:23

let's talk about the chase, you know, like,

1:11:25

do you think that there's guys out there that

1:11:27

are just they're always going to go back and

1:11:29

forth on the chase? Like if you make yourself

1:11:31

scarce, they'll push, but then you do fall into

1:11:33

it and then you're available and then they pull

1:11:35

again and then you push, you know, like, do

1:11:37

you see that where that's like, they really will

1:11:39

always just try and then as soon as you're

1:11:41

available and you just go back and forth forever

1:11:43

and it's like toxic cycle. So a

1:11:45

lot of men, like it's

1:11:47

a conquest, right? Maybe there's this woman, he's

1:11:50

not sure about his intentions for her yet.

1:11:52

But like, I really like that girl. She's hot.

1:11:54

I want to get her. If you,

1:11:57

like I was saying earlier, right off the bat, see him

1:11:59

bam, bam, bam, bam. bam, three times in

1:12:01

one week, you're giving

1:12:03

him exactly what he won, he won. Okay, and

1:12:05

if intentions weren't pure, if you didn't get that

1:12:07

feeling early on, like you were talking about where

1:12:10

you just know, which that's like, you know, that's

1:12:12

the best when you meet somebody just like, this

1:12:14

is it, right? But if you don't know, and

1:12:16

you're just feeling those positive feelings, because maybe he's

1:12:18

attractive or whatnot, you just like just want to

1:12:20

keep seeing him. If you give him all that

1:12:23

access to you, you just gave it away. Like

1:12:26

you just gave away the value scarcity is

1:12:28

value, there's a fine line. And that's why

1:12:30

I say in the first month of dating,

1:12:33

that cadence of once a week, like

1:12:35

it allows a little mystery, right

1:12:38

while you're building comfort over time, getting to know

1:12:40

each other in person. And then after that point,

1:12:42

after three weeks to a month, then it could

1:12:44

start to ramp up at a healthy

1:12:46

pace. I think if you feel like

1:12:48

you're in a cycle of like game playing, you

1:12:50

can stop, you know, yeah, and like, you'll sniff

1:12:53

it out pretty soon. Right. I just think, unfortunately,

1:12:55

probably some guys are wired to be like that

1:12:57

forever, or until they're, I don't know, 45, and

1:12:59

they just finally want to slow down and, you

1:13:01

know, settle down and their bodies start breaking down.

1:13:03

They've no more testosterone left. I'm just kidding. But

1:13:05

like, I just kind of like, they might just

1:13:08

go do that forever. And that's just probably not

1:13:10

who you want as a partner, as a stable

1:13:12

partner. But we like to say,

1:13:14

and I can't remember who said it, I think it just was something,

1:13:16

you know, came from TikTok. And it was like,

1:13:18

for women, don't play hard to

1:13:20

get just be hard to get just

1:13:22

live your life. Like, do you do

1:13:24

you have your hobbies, have your girlfriends

1:13:26

have shit going on? If you

1:13:29

really have already built like a full life where

1:13:31

a partner would just be the cherry on top

1:13:33

in the first place, and you got your stuff

1:13:35

going on, you're doing this and that, you're not

1:13:37

constantly just like trying to play in your next

1:13:39

move. It's just actually organic to you. I think

1:13:42

guys pick up on that too. Guys

1:13:44

can pick up on if a woman's trying to

1:13:46

play games, like an experienced guy

1:13:48

can pick up on that, like, she's

1:13:51

playing hard to get like she's purposely doing this.

1:13:53

A lot of guys can pick up on that.

1:13:55

That's why I say just like what you said,

1:13:57

like just be busy, like have things going on.

1:14:00

Love your life. Love the life you're already living

1:14:02

right now and you don't need

1:14:04

somebody. Like if he comes and it's a

1:14:06

perfect alignment, it feels great, then yeah. But

1:14:08

like you don't need a guy or anybody,

1:14:10

a relationship to be happy. If you're not

1:14:12

happy by yourself just doing your own thing,

1:14:15

then why would somebody be happy with

1:14:18

you? What are they coming into? Because

1:14:20

don't you feel like guys can

1:14:22

also sniff out that desperation, that like,

1:14:24

I'm looking for my missing puzzle piece.

1:14:27

My life isn't complete until, you know, like

1:14:29

that kind of feeling I feel like is

1:14:31

really kind of radiates

1:14:33

off of you. And that

1:14:35

feels like that's what pushes people

1:14:38

away too. Absolutely. Yeah, I know. That's

1:14:40

totally true. You have to be

1:14:42

comfortable with yourself and your own skin and

1:14:44

your current life. And that's the only way

1:14:46

you're going to attract. Like, I talk a

1:14:48

lot about like energies and like being at

1:14:51

that place where, you know, like energies attract,

1:14:53

right? And if you're in desperado mode or

1:14:55

you're not happy with everything and you're and

1:14:57

you're like, I just need a man. I just need a man.

1:14:59

Like, no, you don't get it. Get out there. Get

1:15:06

a peloton, whatever, a hobby,

1:15:09

anything. So can we talk about sort of the

1:15:11

mistake? I guess there's a tactic that people take

1:15:13

where they're like, he doesn't seem to be latching

1:15:15

on. So I'm going to show him how great

1:15:18

I am. I'm going to give him the full

1:15:20

girlfriend experience with Alpettidal. And he's

1:15:22

just going to see how amazing I am

1:15:24

because I am amazing. And

1:15:26

he'll come around to it. This is the

1:15:28

thing I like. We've seen this happen. We

1:15:30

rain and I just I want to scream

1:15:32

because you can feel women are doing this.

1:15:34

Like if I just go harder and show

1:15:37

him what a like nurturing there

1:15:39

for him supportive woman

1:15:42

I can be okay, you take it

1:15:44

away. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, you

1:15:46

don't want to give somebody girlfriend treatment

1:15:48

until they've told you you're their girlfriend.

1:15:51

Like there needs to be a level that

1:15:54

you hold back, right? Like you can show him 80%.

1:15:57

But that final 20% is saved. until

1:16:00

he says, you're my girlfriend, right?

1:16:02

You have to keep a little bit

1:16:04

in the tank. Yeah, you have to

1:16:06

you want to make a guy earn

1:16:08

it, so to speak, like there's a

1:16:10

level that he has to earn when it comes

1:16:12

to your availability, what you're giving

1:16:14

him emotionally, the amount of communication, his

1:16:16

scarcity in some capacity and like over

1:16:18

time it builds but like scarcity is

1:16:21

valuable. It is that's just a fact.

1:16:23

If he feels like he's still kind

1:16:25

of clawing to get to know you

1:16:27

get to have a little more access

1:16:29

to you and learn more about you,

1:16:31

like that's going to kind of keep

1:16:33

him pursuing if after two weeks you

1:16:35

give him the whole kit and kaboodle

1:16:37

like it's like, you know, it's done. And

1:16:40

whatever that looks like to you. I mean, I like you

1:16:42

breaking it down in percentages. I'm gonna go a little harder.

1:16:44

I'm gonna go 60, 40, 70, 30.

1:16:46

But like, just that like little gifts or I don't know

1:16:48

what it looks like. It's just, you know, my friend said,

1:16:50

she said, I would never leave a man's house better than

1:16:52

I found it. I kicked the hamper over on the way

1:16:54

out the door. Like you need

1:16:57

to say before about something like making a

1:16:59

same girl, I would never make him dinner. Why

1:17:01

are you cooking for this guy?

1:17:03

Yeah, same girl. She said I would never cook

1:17:05

him dinner. I'll knock the dresser over on my way out the

1:17:08

door. I'm making a bed. I thought you

1:17:10

I bought you this little gift. What

1:17:12

bitch what like and I think it's

1:17:14

just whatever it feels like to you.

1:17:16

You know, you're doing it. You know,

1:17:18

you have thought that if I just

1:17:20

show him x y and z, he'll

1:17:22

commit it's like actually the literal opposite.

1:17:24

If maybe if you withhold x y

1:17:26

and z, he might. Right?

1:17:29

No, it's true. It's true. So you have

1:17:31

a video where you talk about like, I feel

1:17:34

like I'm treating him better. And he's actually treating

1:17:36

me worse. Yeah, love this one. Yeah, yeah,

1:17:38

no, that's like, I hear that a lot.

1:17:40

And that's just a guy because listen, women

1:17:42

do these things to might just look a little

1:17:44

differently. So if you're giving me all this effort,

1:17:47

all this effort, and then the other guy's not

1:17:49

reciprocating it, he's doing that on purpose, because

1:17:51

he knows that if he reciprocates it, you're

1:17:53

showing her that you want to progress things.

1:17:56

So the only way to put things to

1:17:58

a halt is to not Reciprocate

1:18:00

or to stop doing things okay,

1:18:03

and if you're dating somebody in this trajectory

1:18:05

should always be positive It should never go

1:18:07

down right so if you know you

1:18:09

meet met each other. It's going great It's going

1:18:11

great. You start doing more and more and all

1:18:13

of a sudden. He's doing less It's like it

1:18:15

should never dip there should never be a dip

1:18:17

there should always be this positive trajectory So

1:18:20

if you feel like you're trying to give more

1:18:22

and progress things and he's kind of pulling

1:18:25

away taking it slow Bids

1:18:27

sorry. I was just so busy this week like

1:18:29

those are signs You just have to read those

1:18:32

flags they may not be red, but

1:18:34

they're beige if you squint your eyes a little yellow

1:18:36

I mean you can save yourself if I liked somebody would

1:18:38

I treat them like this? I mean we're all right people

1:18:40

were breaking it out like men do this blah blah But

1:18:43

like what a human being that wanted to see me and

1:18:45

date me, but I treat them like that

1:18:47

You know I like that you said

1:18:49

it should go in a positive Trajectory

1:18:51

because yes of course we all understand

1:18:53

long-term Relationships have the ebb and

1:18:55

flow and have ups and downs that's not what we're

1:18:57

talking about But I feel like you sometimes might hear

1:19:00

somebody say you know

1:19:02

let's say they started this Whatever

1:19:04

it is situation ship dating in

1:19:06

January and here it is March

1:19:09

I just wish it was back to it was

1:19:11

in January no We are too early it shouldn't

1:19:13

be going downhill back quick like before you're committed

1:19:15

You know like I think that's like a tell

1:19:17

sign where someone's like but at the beginning It

1:19:19

started out so good. It's like. What are you

1:19:21

talking about three weeks ago? You

1:19:23

know Tenure

1:19:25

marriage you know wishing it went back to

1:19:27

the early days This is like a few

1:19:30

weeks back when he was hot on your

1:19:32

tail You know we'd like to offer people

1:19:34

like if you find yourself saying this thing

1:19:36

reflect on what that means I hear

1:19:38

that all the time It's like it should should

1:19:40

not be any downward trajectory until like

1:19:42

you said you're in a relationship And then maybe six months

1:19:44

down the line you have like a little argument or something

1:19:46

like that Yeah, yeah like

1:19:49

the first three months should be

1:19:51

like pretty smooth thing like

1:19:53

up up up like it should be easy

1:19:56

It should feel easy like no one in

1:19:58

a really strong relationship

1:20:00

has ever been like, oh, the beginning was rough.

1:20:02

You know, like, it's just like, I don't know,

1:20:04

it's pretty easy. We just liked each other. You

1:20:07

know, so. Right. I

1:20:09

like this question we asked you about what they were

1:20:12

sort of wanting to talk about on Instagram, but I

1:20:14

like this just as a general addition

1:20:16

to this. Why do men pull back as soon

1:20:18

as you match their energy? So like they're pursuing

1:20:20

you hard. They're coming through and you're like, okay,

1:20:22

I could do this. And they're like, bup, bup,

1:20:24

bup, bup, bup. What made you think that we

1:20:26

were dating? I

1:20:29

think women really relate to this. This happens a

1:20:31

lot. I think women are like, he's pursuing me. Okay,

1:20:33

I'll lean in and they're like, ew, what made you

1:20:35

think I wanted this? Totally. Like

1:20:38

you started this. Do you know

1:20:40

what I'm talking about, daddy? I know what you're

1:20:43

talking about, but it's like, it's a case by

1:20:45

case basis. Like you really have to dive into

1:20:47

each thing and be like, okay, tell me about

1:20:49

the first week. Tell me about the

1:20:52

second week. What came after the second date? How did he pursue you

1:20:54

coming out? Because a lot of people are just like, I started giving

1:20:56

him any pulled back. I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa. Back

1:20:58

two weeks. There are signs right there. He was,

1:21:00

he never wanted anything serious with you per se. He

1:21:02

was just trying to push the issue to get more

1:21:04

time with you, to potentially sleep with you, to have

1:21:06

you on his roster or whatnot. And then now you're

1:21:09

like, oh, let me, let me try to push the

1:21:11

issue back and try to make this happen. And then

1:21:13

all of a sudden he pull, he's pulling back because

1:21:15

he knows, like I said, if he

1:21:17

matches your effort, if your effort is

1:21:20

going above his, well, you'll know that he

1:21:22

wants a relationship. So if your efforts going

1:21:24

up and he's, his max effort was here,

1:21:26

right? You match him. He's in his mind.

1:21:28

He's going, oh shit. Here we go. We're getting close.

1:21:30

You start passing him. He's going to go, whoa, whoa,

1:21:32

whoa. I got to pull this back because I don't

1:21:35

want a relationship right now. I've only been seeing this

1:21:37

girl for a few months. I got to pull this

1:21:39

back slowly and surely. So maybe he'll text you a

1:21:41

little bit less. Maybe he'll skip

1:21:43

a week of seeing you and he'll slowly pull

1:21:45

it back. But if he likes you and he

1:21:47

wants to keep you around, he's not going to

1:21:49

disappear, but there'll be this

1:21:51

slow pull back to a

1:21:53

point where you're seeing him

1:21:55

less. You're hearing from him less, but you're still

1:21:57

seeing him, but the consistency. went

1:22:00

way down. That's a guy who's seeing

1:22:02

multiple women. A guy who just, you

1:22:04

know, just started to feel differently, he'll pull back

1:22:07

for a few weeks and then he'll openly just

1:22:09

say to you, listen, I'm just not feeling this

1:22:11

blah, blah, blah. But if the consistency of everything

1:22:13

pulls back, you're giving more, he's pulling

1:22:15

back. You're seeing him less, you're talking to him less.

1:22:18

There's either other women or other priorities and he

1:22:20

doesn't want to match your energy because he knows

1:22:22

that you're going to think this is heading towards

1:22:24

a relationship then. Yeah, that seems pretty

1:22:27

simple. It's like if you matched his energy and he didn't like it,

1:22:29

he doesn't want to date you. He wants to sleep with you. I

1:22:31

want to talk to you about something. Every once

1:22:34

in a while, Ray and I see these situations,

1:22:36

probably more frequent. It's not like the most rare

1:22:38

thing where we have watched this relationship from the

1:22:40

beginning. It's never been great. It's been a lot

1:22:42

of push and pull. Like the woman, for example,

1:22:44

has just taken the scraps, you know, it's constant

1:22:46

anxiety. Where is he? Can't rely on him. Is

1:22:48

he going to call? Is he going to show

1:22:50

up for my birthday? This and that. Just like,

1:22:53

you know, she's in therapy. It's a whole mess.

1:22:55

Like it's not good. It's bad. And it goes

1:22:57

on forever. And she just waits it out and

1:22:59

just, I don't know, breaks him down and they

1:23:01

get married. I mean, we see it and it's

1:23:03

just, it's sad. And

1:23:05

I'm like, did the guy just get

1:23:07

worn out, you know, or like, did

1:23:10

he realize she was the one cause she

1:23:12

stuck around? Like, I don't like these stories because

1:23:14

they're not the norm and they're not healthy or

1:23:16

how it should be. And who knows? So people

1:23:18

could die together in the bed, like the notebook,

1:23:20

or they could get divorced. Like, I don't want

1:23:22

to say these marriages are doomed, but we really

1:23:24

do see it. And we always want to tell

1:23:26

people like that's the real exception to the rule.

1:23:28

But sometimes if that's your friend group and you

1:23:30

see that a lot, you're like, I can do

1:23:32

it. I can just wait it out and be

1:23:34

miserable. And one day he'll come around. We see

1:23:36

people be miserable for years. And then he finally

1:23:38

like pulls into the parking spot. But like, at

1:23:41

what cost to your own mental health has

1:23:43

this happened? Yeah, I've seen that

1:23:45

a lot too. You just, you're

1:23:47

wearing them down. And he essentially, well,

1:23:50

basically what happens is like they built

1:23:52

an attachment. Okay, then it's not necessarily

1:23:55

love or this genuine,

1:23:58

passionate love, but they have. this connection.

1:24:00

It's almost like a parasite and

1:24:03

they're just like attached to each other and

1:24:05

at a certain point because the fighting

1:24:07

the push and pull it creates this

1:24:10

dopamine like I want to win them back

1:24:12

win her back and like that fighting and the making

1:24:14

up the fighting and then the making up it's just

1:24:17

deeper seeding this attachment this

1:24:20

parasite and the longer it goes on the harder

1:24:22

it is to get rid of. I think

1:24:24

that's interesting because you see people with somebody for

1:24:26

years Amanda will marry them and then they marry

1:24:28

the next girl in six months and

1:24:31

so maybe what was holding those people together

1:24:33

previously was this like parasitic relationship where they're

1:24:35

like we've like been in this line for so

1:24:37

long I guess I'll just stay in this line. That's

1:24:39

exactly what ends up happening. They'll be

1:24:42

together for years they'll get married and

1:24:44

then they get divorced after six

1:24:46

months. And then we always are

1:24:48

like you've made him work so little

1:24:50

you know you put up with so much

1:24:53

so I think there's some guys out

1:24:55

there that are just not great guys and they

1:24:57

know she'll take whatever and put up with whatever.

1:24:59

I mean there's certainly got to be guys out

1:25:01

there that are like I don't know man she

1:25:03

has just let me treat her like shit for

1:25:05

three years like I'll marry this one because I

1:25:07

can just do whatever the fuck I want forever.

1:25:09

I'll be at the strip club with the boys

1:25:12

we have three kids at home like because she

1:25:14

has shown me she'll take whatever I give her

1:25:16

unfortunately I think it's like the bad side of it. That's

1:25:19

a hundred percent right and your

1:25:21

boundaries or lack of boundaries is

1:25:23

representative of your inner self-worth. So

1:25:26

it's like those two things are

1:25:28

congruent if you have soft boundaries then your internal

1:25:30

perception of your self-worth isn't where it should be

1:25:33

and like you know could be for a lot

1:25:35

of reasons could be because of this guy treating

1:25:37

you poorly but whatever the reason is the only

1:25:39

way to build it back up is

1:25:41

well I mean like obviously therapy talking to your friends and

1:25:43

like eventually you just have to

1:25:45

take a stand and just be like listen this is

1:25:47

my life I need to change

1:25:49

this and the only way to break through is

1:25:51

to hold that boundary and to break up and

1:25:54

to move on because that's the only way you're

1:25:56

gonna get the strength and feel that positive you

1:25:58

know the positive thing about yourself like I did it.

1:26:01

I stepped away from something. I actually was

1:26:03

working with somebody recently who very similar situation

1:26:06

and I'm like it might be tough for like a month

1:26:08

or two like you may be really sad but on the

1:26:10

other side of this is the happiest

1:26:12

version of yourself that you've ever been but you just

1:26:14

have to have the faith that it's gonna be there.

1:26:17

I really feel for people that have a hard

1:26:19

time drawing boundaries that are people pleasers that don't

1:26:21

know what it feels like to be the priority

1:26:23

and to be really lifted up and you're just

1:26:25

like maybe this is what it is and I

1:26:28

would hate the feeling of being chosen because

1:26:30

somebody just knows that I will put up

1:26:32

with anything and that you know she's stuck

1:26:34

around so if this must be love you

1:26:36

know I really I feel for people that

1:26:38

are in these situations that have never been

1:26:40

treated like a huge priority but you're so

1:26:42

right like you do have to get a

1:26:44

little uncomfortable unfortunately because there is people that

1:26:46

will treat you better than that and not like an

1:26:49

option while they run around and do whatever they

1:26:51

want. How many billion people are there in the

1:26:53

world? 6 billion?

1:26:56

I don't know like billions of people like there's

1:26:58

so many people out there like you think this

1:27:00

one guy who's treating you poorly like what is

1:27:02

so great about this? I know. Nothing. You hate

1:27:05

it. You hate your life. You hate yourself. You

1:27:07

hate everything about this. Yeah. You have to change

1:27:09

it. It's because of this attachment. They've lost a

1:27:11

sense of self and that's

1:27:13

what I hear about a lot of people

1:27:15

who are in like these negative relationships is

1:27:18

they always say like I don't know who

1:27:20

I am anymore because you became like an

1:27:22

amoeba like attached to this person and you

1:27:24

don't you really lost who you truly are

1:27:26

and that's why when these people finally do

1:27:28

break free and they start doing

1:27:30

things that make them happy again and the

1:27:32

self-help it's this glow up like you've never

1:27:35

seen because they've you know they quite literally have

1:27:37

turned to a new person. I mean I want to

1:27:39

do a whole episode on this but toxic relationships

1:27:41

like ruin who we are you know and I

1:27:43

think it's so sad that people are just you

1:27:45

know think they always have to be with a

1:27:48

partner because for me in my past nothing has

1:27:50

been more unhappy giving me more anxiety more stress

1:27:52

than a bad relationship like I'd be single all

1:27:54

day over that you know like single live my

1:27:56

best life do what I want be with my

1:27:59

girlfriends you know this than that than

1:28:01

like that constant around the clock

1:28:03

24 seven anxiety

1:28:05

loop of the toxic relationship.

1:28:08

It's horrible. And I know that like,

1:28:11

listen, I'm a full me five times person

1:28:13

sometimes, you know, I'm not a zero tolerance

1:28:15

down such a bad bitch, you can't ever

1:28:17

fuck up like I have let people acted

1:28:19

poorly. And I'm not always proud of

1:28:21

it. Like at this age, I just I can't be in

1:28:23

a situation where I just feel bad all the time. And

1:28:25

I never know if you're going to show up for me.

1:28:28

I never want to know when the other shoe is going

1:28:30

to drop and I have girlfriends

1:28:32

that like I watch their quote unquote partners like

1:28:34

just treat them poorly time and time again and

1:28:36

I'm like, how have we dealt with this six

1:28:39

times now and we haven't had enough? You

1:28:42

know, yeah, are you a good

1:28:44

boyfriend, daddy? Of

1:28:46

course. What was last

1:28:48

date you took your girlfriend on? When was

1:28:50

the last date? Oh, right. I

1:28:53

put him on the spot. He's nervous. No,

1:28:55

no, no. Where was your birthday? Where

1:28:58

was my first date? You know what?

1:29:00

What the hell was the name?

1:29:02

Oh, it's called Free Freehold Freehold

1:29:04

Freehold in Williamsburg? No,

1:29:06

no, no, no. And the free hand hotel and

1:29:08

thought I'm see I'm horrible. No,

1:29:12

let's just say it wasn't like Mr. Suave

1:29:14

best date. But like just like you were

1:29:16

saying, the connection of the first date was

1:29:19

just like a special one. We

1:29:21

just like vibed off the bat and it was just

1:29:23

from there. It was it just seemed like supernatural and

1:29:26

something that we knew like, okay, this is something serious.

1:29:28

I love that. You don't have to answer. I'm just

1:29:30

curious. It's a long term, short term. Like, have you

1:29:32

guys been together for a while or like two years?

1:29:34

Okay. Oh, yeah. A little

1:29:37

Halloween photo of you guys together. And then how did you how do you meet?

1:29:39

Do you meet in the wild or on an app or set up? We

1:29:41

met on an app. Okay.

1:29:44

Okay, those are my questions. All right. I won't get

1:29:46

too far into your relationship offline. You can text us

1:29:48

about her. But this has

1:29:50

been really fun. We are really excited to

1:29:52

have you on the show. And these topics

1:29:54

are great. And everybody should really check out

1:29:56

your TikTok. I mean, there's really great advice

1:29:58

and just information there. I know I'm

1:30:01

really so happy to see what you're doing and

1:30:03

really just like a counterbalance to some of the

1:30:05

like really terrible stuff that Men are getting fed

1:30:07

and then it's trickling down to the female experience

1:30:10

as well. And so this is great Yeah, I

1:30:12

really appreciate it guys Tell people where they can find

1:30:14

you tick-tock Instagram anywhere else you want them to

1:30:16

look you up Yeah, so

1:30:18

my tick-tock handle is the Daddy

1:30:20

Academy Okay, so you could look

1:30:22

me up on there on Instagram

1:30:24

at nico e-man and I KO

1:30:26

em an so the abbreviation of

1:30:28

my crazy long So

1:30:31

you can find me both those places posting similar content Instagram It's you

1:30:33

know, I got a little bit more my personal life on there

1:30:35

and some other things that I do But yeah,

1:30:37

if you're interested in like one-on-one sort of consultations

1:30:39

or coaching I kind of offer that to you

1:30:42

could DM me There'll be a link in my

1:30:44

bio You can click and there's some big things

1:30:46

on the horizon nothing that I could really talk

1:30:48

about right now Actual

1:30:52

Academy itself Doing

1:30:56

daddy stuff Well,

1:30:59

thank you so much. This is such a pleasure guys. I

1:31:02

really appreciate it Well, I hope you

1:31:04

guys enjoyed your teachings from the Daddy Academy

1:31:06

and you can find us at girls gotta

1:31:08

eat calm We are girls

1:31:10

gotta eat podcast on Instagram and tick-tock I

1:31:13

am ash Hess rain is raining dot Greenberg and of

1:31:15

course our other company vibes only which is vibes only

1:31:17

calm shop all your sex toys Subscribe on YouTube share

1:31:19

this episode with a friend show this episode with the

1:31:22

guy who needs to pick up on that daddy energy

1:31:24

And we will see you next week. Have a good

1:31:26

week guys. Bye I