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0:00
This
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is a Headgum podcast.
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for as low as three dollars a month. Just go
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to patreon dot com slash girls
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on porn. Welcome to girls
0:27
on porn. I'm Rachel. I'm Laura.
0:30
And we love
0:31
porn. This is our porn
0:33
review podcast. We talk about what
0:35
we love and we roast what we hate. Helping
0:37
you find hot ethical, just
0:39
plain better born for your Spain thing.
0:41
And we are looking at everything.
0:49
Before we introduce the topic, we have a valuptuous
0:52
little segment for you today. Sixty
0:54
nine seconds of sex news. We've
0:59
pulled headlines from the news to keep you informed
1:02
and horny. Here we
1:04
go. A couple in Florida
1:07
were caught having sex in a stranger's pool.
1:09
A realtor discovered the two getting busy when
1:11
she pulled up to show the vacant home. The
1:13
couple admitted that they didn't know the homeowners,
1:15
but claimed they didn't do anything wrong.
1:17
The police, however, did not agree. In
1:21
Bummer News, one man is allergic
1:23
to his own steven. A medical journal
1:25
recently reported about an anonymous twenty
1:27
seven year old man who has been experiencing flu
1:29
like symptoms every time he orgasms for
1:31
the last ten years. The condition is
1:33
called postor gastric illness syndrome, and
1:35
it is a very rare for treatable condition. Postor
1:38
gastric illness syndrome is the new, I have to
1:40
work early tomorrow. Excuse. Researchers
1:43
have found a solution to getting more matches on
1:45
your dating profile. B original,
1:48
idiot, they surveyed over twelve hundred
1:50
dating app users and found that quote, People
1:52
with profiles considered to be more original
1:54
tended to also score significantly higher
1:57
on perceived intelligence, sense of humor,
1:59
and attractiveness. Lever nerds,
2:01
our moment has arrived. Oh. A
2:03
chess grand master claims he didn't use a sex
2:05
toy to defeat the rating world champion. Pant's
2:08
Neiman surprised everyone by defeating Magnus
2:10
Karlsson at the chess world championship this
2:12
fall and rumors circulated as to reason
2:14
why. One rumor suggested that
2:16
Neiman was tapping into a computer program through
2:18
a prostate massager or wireless anal
2:21
beads that were communicating winning moods
2:23
to him. Neiman vehemently denies
2:25
his claim, but anal Morse code sounds pretty
2:27
fucking fun to us. That's
2:31
right. Big daddy's baby.
2:34
Today is the day. Today is the
2:36
day. Big naturals.
2:39
And first of all, let me come
2:42
out and say. There
2:44
ain't nothing wrong with heaven. Not
2:47
natural titties. Okay? Nothing
2:49
wrong with a big fake ebay. There's nothing wrong
2:51
with big fakes. Yeah.
2:53
Right? But big naturals in the porn
2:55
space, like, makes sense that it's its own size.
2:58
Yes. Because majority of the time, we do
3:00
see you know See a lot of big things.
3:02
Yes. And -- But -- you
3:04
know. -- the I gotta speak for my people.
3:07
Yeah. I appreciate it. I appreciate it. I appreciate it. I appreciate
3:09
it. I appreciate it. There's nothing wrong with fake boobs.
3:11
I'm actually on the countdown of
3:13
getting by fake boobs a facelift.
3:16
Update it. So -- Yeah. -- given a little
3:18
jush. Yes. Were one
3:20
month out from a big surgery if
3:22
anyone wants to donate money.
3:24
Hey, guys. Rachel, nice money for the
3:26
surgery. Send her money. It
3:28
is expensive. It is expensive.
3:31
Anyways, back to the topic at hand. Big
3:34
big natties. Yeah. I would love I
3:36
wish that I had big naturals, you know.
3:38
What a what a easy life I would have had.
3:42
But maybe he wouldn't have had this sparkling
3:44
personality, though. That's right.
3:46
True. And That's all. True. Necessity.
3:49
Excellent point. I had to make up for it.
3:51
You know, having not big naturals,
3:54
you know, that builds character. It's so It
3:56
really does. Obviously,
3:58
probably it comes from the porn space
4:01
to describe well and dead women on the Internet
4:03
in the two thousands. And it also,
4:05
like, had a big moment in, like,
4:07
Internet culture and memes. Yeah.
4:10
It just had a big a big meme
4:12
moment. Yeah. But it was it was
4:14
added to Urban Dictionary in two
4:16
thousand nine. Yeah. First, we don't
4:18
know exactly where it goes back to definitely like a
4:20
porn thing, but it first written appearance
4:22
of the Internet that we know of is January
4:24
twenty fourth two thousand nine. By
4:26
user douche man dick
4:29
who's that's her big naturals is to
4:31
describe a girl that has huge
4:33
natural tits. Yeah. I'm pretty straightforward.
4:35
Yeah. You know, douche man dick.
4:37
What a fuck is stifled? What an
4:39
icon? Getting out ahead of But what's
4:41
interesting? Truly is
4:44
the average porn star -- Uh-huh.
4:46
-- because thank god of John Millward. We
4:48
talk about this all the time. He did
4:50
this incredible database. He went through the porn database
4:52
and came up with, like, a cross section
4:54
of of stats and information about porn
4:56
stars. And porn in general demographics
4:58
on ten thousand porn stars. Yes.
5:00
Quite a lot, you know. And he
5:03
found that the most the average adult
5:05
film actress is a brunette with a
5:07
beaker. Yeah. Named Nikki.
5:09
Yeah. Nikki is the average name.
5:12
Yes. Make Nikki falls in the middle, I
5:14
guess. Yes. Which -- Yeah. -- fascinating.
5:16
Yeah. I mean, a lot of porn stars are petite,
5:18
you know. And, like, we think of porn stars
5:21
as having, like, tagle biddies.
5:23
Right. But I almost think it's just because
5:25
that's where, like, you see a
5:27
woman with gigantic breasts being
5:29
championed most. Yeah. But
5:33
Yeah. Like, what's funny is, like, there there's
5:35
more bigger tits in society than there
5:37
are in porn. True. You know? Really true.
5:39
And especially in America. America and have the
5:41
biggest natural boobs in the world. It's true.
5:43
It's the world population review. Back
5:45
in two thousand sixteen, US women once again
5:47
topped a survey by the Journal of Female
5:49
Health Sciences. A quarter
5:51
of Caucasian American Ladies had breasts
5:54
weighing at about twelve
5:56
pounds. Yeah. That's heavy.
5:58
That's wild. You know? I'm terrible with
6:00
weights. You know? Like, I couldn't tell you. I don't
6:02
work out with weights. I couldn't tell you how much I
6:04
work out Five pounds is, but it's a lot.
6:06
I like, five pound weights is like the
6:08
max. Yeah. So, like, twelve pounds.
6:10
It's a lot. I mean, for a lot. A lot.
6:12
You know? Yeah. But it's also it's
6:14
kind of hard to find an average of, like, bra
6:16
size and things like that because -- Yeah.
6:18
-- bra sizes are frankly,
6:21
there's no universal stamp. Just like
6:23
sizing in general. Yes. We're all not
6:25
in agreement about what the
6:27
correct sizing is. Or But
6:29
every every time
6:31
you go shopping for a fucking bra,
6:34
everyone will say you're probably wearing
6:36
the wrong size. Yeah. I'm like, yeah,
6:38
according to you because the way you size your bras
6:40
is different than the way the other people's you know,
6:42
like, everyone does it different. It's like
6:44
it's toasted. It's like an offering from
6:47
abra like, every bra brand is like,
6:49
but you've never like, but you're doing it
6:51
wrong. And, like, we're the one that's gonna do it right
6:53
for you. Like, I've taken the fucking quizzes.
6:55
I've, like, done the shit. The Lady of Victoria's
6:57
Secret has molested me -- Yeah. -- you know,
6:59
all the things. And, like, ultimately,
7:01
I'm gonna figure it out, and it's just the right balance
7:03
between, like Mhmm. It's hard.
7:05
It's hard, though. Right. You know? Because I'll also
7:07
fluctuate and wait and suddenly, like, my boobs
7:09
are spilling over. They're like, cuff
7:11
and weird, you know, or, like, the the band
7:13
size is, like, wrong, you know. We need
7:15
a bra sponsor who's actually
7:18
great. That would be nice. I
7:20
wouldn't mind feeding them to the Internet. Yeah.
7:22
Yeah. Man, I wasn't free anything.
7:24
So Yeah. You know, we're gonna drop
7:26
somebody. You wanna give us a call? To sleep.
7:28
We're we're stating a need here. Mhmm.
7:30
But we are we are putting forth a mandate.
7:33
Like, we're we're challenging you to, like, make
7:35
an incredible bra. You know?
7:37
The average bra size in the US is a
7:39
thirty four double d. That's
7:41
wild. Is that nuts? So I can't stop
7:43
using the word wild, but it is. No. You know?
7:45
And size are you? I'm like a
7:47
thirty four, thirty six c. Okay.
7:50
Depending who you ask. Yeah. Depending which
7:52
store I'm making cost of that at the time.
7:54
Uh-huh. But usually, that's pretty faithful. Occasionally,
7:56
it'll be, like, a thirty six b,
7:59
and it'll, like, kinda tuck me in nicer.
8:01
But, like, really depends on the
8:03
brand. Yeah. Yeah. Mhmm. I
8:05
do have average sized
8:07
but well sized tips, I would
8:09
say. You got a you got a great rack. Thank
8:11
you. I like my snack. Yeah. You know?
8:13
I like your snack too.
8:15
Thanks. Well, it's still their wonky
8:17
right now, but, you know, I'm excited
8:20
about to get a little shoes because you're excited.
8:22
Yeah. In January, they're gonna be, hopefully,
8:24
fingers crossed, literally perfect.
8:28
So Oh, wow. Yeah. Then
8:30
big naturals became a meme in
8:32
twenty twenty. Mhmm. And we
8:34
don't really know, like, how it started
8:36
again, but people love
8:39
big boobs. Mhmm. There is just some sort
8:41
of, like, childlike
8:44
joy There is. There's a
8:46
child like wondering to enjoying a big
8:48
pair of lips. You know, people
8:50
suddenly become sort of child like when
8:52
they're you know, when they have boobs in front of them because
8:54
they just wanna, like, Hong Kong, you know, and
8:56
kinda, like, do sort of they wanna play
8:58
with them. Yeah. You know? They literally wanna
9:00
play with And and so
9:02
we shall and so we do, you know?
9:04
Mhmm. Can't let those those big
9:06
daddy's go to waste. It's true. I have
9:08
some fun slang words for big boobs. was
9:10
just gonna say we would be remiss
9:12
if we didn't highlight just a
9:14
couple of the slang comments
9:16
from this list. That I think we now both
9:18
have in front of us. So you wanna kick us off? Yeah.
9:20
I'll say one that I like and you say what do you
9:22
like. Okay? It's just like the showdown, but -- Yeah. --
9:24
extra bonus bonus booby,
9:26
showdown stuff. You did too
9:28
because they come at a set. Yeah.
9:31
If you're lucky, oh, mine
9:33
did it. Okay.
9:36
Am I the first one I'm gonna
9:38
say, VAPS. Never heard
9:40
that one before. Grace,
9:42
our our token Brit. Is that a token
9:45
rental Brit? BaaS? It does say
9:47
BaaS. BaaS. BaaS. BaaS.
9:49
BaaS. Okay. Confirmed British Yep. There's a
9:51
lot of British stuff on here, and and quite frankly,
9:53
a lot of it is incredible. Yeah. I'll go with another
9:55
British one. Mhmm. Top
9:57
bollocks. Which basically means,
9:59
like, your balls. Upper balls. Upper
10:01
balls. Upper balls? Yeah.
10:03
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Right?
10:05
Grace? Yeah. As ballers are balls.
10:07
Yes. Confirmed. Okay.
10:11
Bristol's? Also British
10:13
Lang. Oh, cockney? Uh-huh. Okay. I
10:15
gotta do one more testicles
10:17
reference, and then we're gonna leave the
10:19
testicles be. Breasticles. Ugh.
10:22
Yes. Gotta give it to him. Yeah. He
10:24
gotta give it to the older chest the testicles.
10:26
Yes. Of course. Yeah. Fun
10:28
bags. Okay. Uh-huh.
10:31
Ditties? Ditties. Yeah.
10:33
P Ditties? Yeah. Kinda sweet. I don't
10:35
know that like, bigknockers, but, like, I
10:37
like it. Yeah. Dirty
10:39
pillows. That's a great
10:41
one. Mhmm. I haven't thought about that one in a while. There
10:43
are ones. Is I'm the movie, Kerry.
10:45
Yeah. My mom is, like, dirty
10:48
pillows. It's definitely, like, a few TV
10:50
and, like, movie references. Yeah. I can't remember
10:52
which, but dirty pillows just feels like one of
10:54
those weird slang that was just, like, popular in the,
10:56
like, early nineties or something.
10:58
Like, it feels like a specific time.
11:00
Churchy people in the nineties late lady in the
11:02
nineties would say. Yeah. Because, like, dirty
11:04
pillows. Like, it's such a funny -- Oh,
11:06
no. -- it's so prudish. I don't
11:08
know. Three penny
11:10
bits. Yeah.
11:13
This one sort of
11:15
grossed to me. Milk
11:17
bag. Yeah. Oh, why is it also why
11:19
is it singular? Yeah. Milk jugs
11:22
is two words, whereas milk bag
11:24
according to this this is one. Yeah. Which would
11:26
imply it's been in use so long that we've
11:28
just agreed that it's a word and pushed it
11:30
together, you know. Yeah. I
11:34
guess this could be the last one for me. Uh-huh.
11:37
Sweater puppies. Why?
11:41
You know? What? Yeah.
11:44
Sure. Okay. We
11:46
also never We can't leave off Bazongas.
11:48
Bazongas is just There's something
11:50
nostalgic about a Bazango. Yeah. You know,
11:52
also I gotta say this one because I thought
11:54
about it a lot in these videos. Udders.
11:58
Udders. Udders. Wow.
12:00
I don't like that one.
12:03
Neither. Maybe there. But and
12:05
I can't quite pin down why, but I'm
12:07
just telling you I don't like it. The
12:09
similarity you can't ignore, you
12:11
know. Yeah. It's the functionality
12:14
of it. You can't ignore it. How
12:16
like, I think why I don't like it is it makes it
12:18
feel like the woman is a beast,
12:20
you know, is an animal. And, like,
12:22
sometimes that's Alright. Also, frankly
12:24
how dare you? Yeah. It
12:26
doesn't quite it doesn't feel
12:28
right to me. Yeah. Me neither. I don't like
12:30
it. Don't refer to anyone is
12:32
a cow. Yeah. Well,
12:34
shall we should we leave a cow there and
12:36
move now to a different list? Oh, well,
12:38
I actually have another list. What?
12:40
What's the other list? The other list? I have a list
12:42
of porn stars with big naturals.
12:44
Okay. Do we know that these are big naturals
12:46
and not just big titties? Because Yeah.
12:48
Okay. Great. Confirm. Great. Okay.
12:50
You can take the lead on this one and tell
12:52
you about which porn starts. So these are some
12:54
of the most famous porn starts with big naturals.
12:56
Okay. Gaby Carter. Okay.
12:59
Patty packs? Oh, yeah.
13:01
Mhmm. Mhmm. Lina Paul.
13:03
Lina Lina the Plus. Of course.
13:05
Mia Khalifa. Oh, yeah.
13:08
Mhmm. Adam wait. Doesn't she have a boob job? I
13:10
don't know if she had a boob job, but she'd got a
13:12
nose job. Yeah. Maybe I'm really look
13:14
natural to me. They do look natural. I mean, I haven't looked
13:16
at her boobs in a while, but -- Yeah. -- in my mind, I
13:18
was like, did she enhance them beyond
13:20
what they already were? But maybe maybe I'm
13:22
wrong. Autumn falls. Okay.
13:25
Lana Rhodes, and last,
13:27
and certainly not least, and
13:29
my favorite, probably yours
13:31
too, Angela White. Who we
13:33
will talk about after the break. Yeah. What a
13:35
fucking star she is. Yeah.
13:37
What a star? Yeah. Do you know
13:39
who else is on that list, but who isn't on
13:41
that list? Oh. Orabella
13:43
danger. A Bella danger? A
13:45
Bella danger. Thank you. I knew I was gonna
13:47
get it wrong, and I was like, I'm gonna try
13:49
Rachel's and Cyclopedic or brain
13:51
will fix it. About She's gonna be
13:53
natties. Right? She does. Yeah. She
13:55
does. For sure. She's great. Just, like,
13:57
you know, keep the India folks in the mix. You
13:59
know? I'm now a me
14:01
and her escrow my sisters. Really?
14:05
Pretty cool. Can I need details on
14:07
that? Yeah. We'll talk about it. Great. I love a
14:09
way to use things like that. We're like, put on the
14:11
show. We don't get to know the details.
14:13
I'm sorry. You just get to know we have
14:15
cool sex lives, but that's it. Because
14:18
that's not our show. Okay. This is the
14:20
show. You know, that's what
14:22
Patreon is occasionally for, but honestly
14:24
even that, you know. Okay. We keep
14:26
it tight. So that we can continue to have
14:28
exciting sex lives. Right.
14:31
Let's now do the showdown. Yes. I
14:33
know. So as long as okay.
14:37
Daily sex, central
14:39
lovemaking with a bouncing tits.
14:41
I love my roundness
14:43
wife. Wow. Kept
14:45
going. Yes. My round
14:47
and his wife. My round and his
14:49
wife. Okay. Big
14:51
natural jugs jizzed.
14:53
Yes. Yeah. Jugs
14:56
jizzed. We're gonna jizz those jugs We're
14:58
gonna jism. We're gonna jism. We're gonna
15:00
jism. Jism. I know. How you love
15:02
alliteration? So I had to I really do.
15:04
Yeah. I'm really a sucker for alliteration.
15:06
You see me, rage. I appreciate that. I
15:08
know. I see a bit. Big boobs
15:10
fall out of cleavage in fitting
15:12
room. What's funny about
15:14
this is that this user seems to think
15:16
that cleavage is something that holds the
15:18
boobs together. Yeah.
15:20
Falls out of it. Is actually the
15:22
result. Of -- Yeah. --
15:24
being held, you know. So
15:26
interesting journey there. Mhmm. But
15:28
basically, we have some tips come out of
15:30
a shirt or something presumably in a fitting room.
15:32
You know? They're no longer squished together. They're
15:34
freely falling to the side.
15:36
You know? They're spreading like
15:38
you know, a wave. Parding
15:41
like the red sea, you know.
15:43
The amazing tits make
15:45
the real horn number six.
15:49
And I know it's probably the amazing tips, make
15:51
the real horror, number six. But I like
15:53
to say the amazing tips, make the
15:55
real horror, number six. After the
15:57
the fake heart, number five. The
15:59
real heart, number six, is a character is
16:01
a track in les mis. You know,
16:03
like, Absolutely. Yes. Real
16:05
Horn number six was like a featured
16:07
extra in Lemus. Yeah.
16:09
She had a great day, you know.
16:11
Yep. She gets a solo.
16:14
Yeah. Okay. For me, we've got
16:16
fuck me. I'm
16:18
Irish, tipsy, and got big
16:20
tits. Oh. Very
16:23
clear, you know. Mhmm. Mhmm.
16:25
This could've been starring Patty packs,
16:27
actually. It could've been. Could've been Irish, but
16:29
she's a red head So if we need one, you
16:31
know. Big naturals,
16:33
moving mountains. Oh,
16:36
yeah. See what they did there. Smart.
16:39
Uh-huh. Last one for me.
16:42
Short sweet to the point. A
16:44
hundred and ten percent natural tits.
16:46
A hundred and ten percent.
16:48
These tits are given up a hundred percent.
16:50
Exactly. I'm like, they're natural. So, like, how could
16:52
they be more than a hundred percent natural?
16:54
But they're giving a hundred and ten. You
16:56
know, that's the effort of the tits. These
16:58
are personified tits at this point. Fine. I'll
17:00
give it to them. No. Why not? Why
17:02
not? Should we take a break? Let's take a break,
17:05
baby.
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And speaking of Angela White A
18:26
fucking pro. It would be remiss
18:28
of us. Yes. If the comments I
18:31
mean, so glad you suggest Angela
18:33
White. And my god, this particular
18:35
video -- Mhmm. -- is epic.
18:38
So it's called triple x Big
18:40
Tit rub down, seen one.
18:42
Yes. By way of adult time. New sensations bid
18:44
posted on adult time. Mhmm. And
18:46
I just wanna talk about Angela White a lit
18:48
just a little bit because -- Okay.
18:51
-- she's been inducted to the Avian Hall
18:53
of Fame. And she's been the
18:55
first three time female performer of the year
18:57
winner for Avian. Yeah. And she's one of those
18:59
people that we've been trying to get on the show for a
19:01
really long time. Mhmm. We've gone to close a couple times.
19:03
She graduated from the University of
19:05
Melbourne with a first class honors degree in gender
19:07
studies. Yeah. And her
19:09
thesis was the porn performer, the radical potential of
19:11
pleasure in pornography -- Yeah. -- which was
19:13
end up getting published. Yeah. And she's
19:15
just one of those people that
19:18
is really smart and outspoken and
19:20
an incredible performer and seems
19:22
She's brilliant. Yeah. Yeah. You know, we're
19:24
a big fan. Yeah. And
19:27
has a great nod.
19:29
Yeah. Has a crazy rack
19:31
and just a consummate.
19:34
Yeah. Professional. Like okay. So we open
19:36
this porn. Yeah. I don't quite
19:38
understand what is happening. This is,
19:40
like, one of those series, like, one of these Where's
19:42
the voice over? Episode where I'm like, I don't
19:44
need any of the plot. Just put Anne
19:46
White and Logan Pierce in the scene. And
19:48
I basically, like, she's getting a massage
19:50
and she knows she's gonna fuck this guy because he
19:52
fuck his clients. Yeah. Like, she's like, I she hasn't been touched in
19:54
a while. I love, like, there's there's always
19:57
gonna be a woman in a robe, like, sipping coffee, and
19:59
the voice over is gonna be like,
20:01
it had been too long and she really
20:03
needed to be touched, you know. And
20:05
then there's also a sequence where she's
20:08
like, She didn't just wanna fuck him. Yeah. She wanted to
20:10
be his most beautiful -- Yeah. --
20:12
client with two of the most exquisite
20:14
breasts. A man had ever seen it. She's, like,
20:16
brushing her hair a little bit. She
20:18
wanted to be as legendary as he
20:20
was. Yes. Exactly. So she's,
20:22
like, prepping for this crazy
20:24
sex. Mhmm. Then Logan Pierce walks in with
20:26
his massage table. And I just had this mover. I was
20:28
like, this is a list porn. Like,
20:30
this is these are the fucking heavy hitters.
20:32
Let's fucking go. You
20:34
know? Uh-huh. And then we start with
20:36
this massage. Uh-huh. And, of course,
20:38
like, when she had disrobes, like, the
20:40
voice over was, like, as she was so satisfied
20:42
to see his face was covered with, like,
20:44
sheer desire. You know? Yes.
20:46
Yeah. Oh, it's so sweet. And then
20:48
the narrative goes away, which I'm fine.
20:50
Hang on. Yeah. Yeah. We get a massage. love
20:52
a massage board. We should do another episode of
20:54
massage because, like, it's fucking
20:56
hot. Yeah. It's just like there's something
20:58
about, like, body worship to it that I
21:00
really enjoy. Yeah. And
21:02
she just like it highlights
21:04
texture. Yeah. Exactly. Like, something
21:06
about wet tips and wet plus, like, greased
21:08
up bodies. And, like, hand sliding
21:10
around. Right. It's just
21:12
such an obvious literal lubricant
21:14
to, like, the sex act, you know.
21:17
And, yeah, he does this thing he's like massaging. She's laying on her stomach
21:19
and he's like massaging her back. And he kind of like
21:21
pulls apart her, like, spreads
21:23
her ass cheeks. Yeah.
21:26
Which I love. I love -- Yeah.
21:28
-- feeling. You know, so I'm just, like, kind of
21:30
spreading you open -- Yeah.
21:32
-- really hot. And then he flips over and he
21:34
starts rubbing her tits. Yeah. And
21:37
what I appreciate about this video
21:39
is it never felt like he
21:41
was, like, playing with her boos. Yeah. Like, he wasn't ever,
21:43
like, a little kid being, like, boy, yo,
21:45
yo, yo. You know? Like, he was, like, really,
21:48
like, massaging them and,
21:51
like, kind of, like, why he's so
21:53
still playing with it? Like, the Tuxedo main
21:55
event and he's You were going to to
21:57
evangelize. Exactly. It wasn't childish,
21:59
but it was still playful somehow.
22:01
Right. Yes. And he really yeah. Like you
22:03
said, he really did this thing or he was, like, squeezing the
22:05
shit out of, like, each tent, you know? Yeah. Uh-huh.
22:08
And really emphasizing, you know, for the big
22:10
natties viewer, like, really giving you the tent
22:12
show. Kissing them, you can tell by the way
22:14
that they they move that
22:16
they're real, you know Yeah. And they do a lot
22:18
of really smart work to build into
22:20
this being like, okay, we definitely know we're gonna
22:22
fuck. Like -- Right. -- he basically starts
22:24
massaging her tits first. He's also,
22:26
like, got his crotch sort of up
22:28
against the table by her face. And she has, like, a
22:30
cheeky look at, like, his phone or
22:32
basically, like, through his pants. And then
22:34
-- Right. And then we just get into
22:36
it. And then she gets his dick out.
22:38
And I actually, you know, what I
22:40
appreciated is that he wasn't fully
22:42
hard. Yeah. I love that. I
22:44
love, like, normalize that. You know? Yeah.
22:46
Like, not everyone shows up
22:48
with, like, a thropping, you
22:50
know, right out the aggregates.
22:53
Yeah. Like, she baked it from
22:55
scratch. Yeah. You know? Because she
22:57
she made it herself. She got it. So
22:59
she really did. And I appreciated
23:01
that. She got it hard. And then he,
23:03
like, there's this really cool shot where he's,
23:05
like, kinda, like, fucking her mouth and it's there's
23:07
this The camera angles underneath.
23:10
Yes. And you can see
23:12
her tongue. Like, she's not just, like,
23:14
holding her mouth open, like, getting fucked in
23:16
the throat. She's, like, using her
23:18
tongue on the underside of his penis.
23:20
Yeah. Pro which I was, like, fucking
23:22
Pro stuff. Yeah.
23:24
Beautifully shot porn by the way.
23:26
Yes. Like, there's this, like, lighting that comes across her
23:28
face where we're, like, seeing her from above. That's,
23:30
like, really gorgeous. Like, her eyes are super
23:32
striking and it's, like, light blue and
23:34
the light. like you said, there's this,
23:36
like, incredible shot from below, like, just really
23:38
interesting angles. Right. And then, my
23:40
god, does this porn just
23:42
keep doubling down on itself? Yeah. Like,
23:45
anytime I think we're, like, going
23:47
as far as we're gonna go. And, like,
23:50
it is the combination of both
23:52
pretty wild antics. Like, I will say it, like, goes
23:55
further than I needed it to in terms of,
23:57
like, the play with the oil and, like,
23:59
that kind of stuff that we'll get to.
24:01
Mhmm. But it's the combination of, like, the way that
24:03
she gives a blowjob. You just feel
24:05
like she's just doing everything right that
24:07
it's not just choking or performative.
24:09
It's like the way that she is,
24:11
like, caressing his cock is, like,
24:14
such enthusiasm and
24:16
effective use of her mouth. Like, you can just
24:18
tell. Mhmm. And then it just
24:20
keeps building Yeah. And she's, like,
24:22
squeezing massage oil on her
24:24
tits and then starts, like, fucking
24:26
him. Like, we see it get, like, a titty
24:28
fucking sequence. Right. Yes. Also,
24:30
lots of ass eating. So
24:32
much ass eating. Well, she so she's, like,
24:34
going to eat him. Logan's ass. Yeah.
24:36
And then she, like, flips him up and, like, he's his ass while
24:38
he's on his back. Right. Which I was, like,
24:40
so hot. Yeah. Yeah. And,
24:42
you know, this is all happening, like,
24:45
you know, twelve minutes in, we don't even have insertion yet,
24:47
which I was like, this is so sexy
24:49
to me. Yeah. I definitely was, like,
24:51
worried about like, there was, like, a lot of oil in
24:53
her mouth and I was, like,
24:55
I don't need that. I was like, you're so excited about the voice. But
24:57
I got it. Became the oil became a
24:59
leading character, and I just wanted the
25:02
oil to day as a supporting role
25:04
and for Angela to be the star
25:06
because at one point, like, we get into a sequence
25:08
where she's squirting the oil in her mouth. Yeah.
25:10
And then she's spitting it, like, first,
25:12
she's spitting it down her front. Yeah. During the
25:14
titty fucking, then she's spitting it on his
25:16
dick. Then she's she starts fucking him and she
25:18
spits it on, like, both of their crotches. She's spinning it
25:20
in his mouth. She's like, yes, spin it back at me.
25:22
We're spinning massage oil back and
25:24
forth each other. Massage oil seems to be cut with
25:26
something because it doesn't seem thick like oil.
25:28
It's just watery.
25:30
Yeah. It's very Which also kind of
25:32
like this becomes, like, a slip and slide.
25:34
See, like, this becomes, like, almost
25:36
two. Slippery. Yeah. Yes. There's
25:38
so slippery. They're, like, on top of this table.
25:41
I was, like, I mean, these again, these are pros because this is like a safety
25:43
hazard at this point where they're like, they could
25:45
just slide right off the fucking table.
25:47
Yeah. Yeah. So that
25:49
kind of went, like, a little too far and, like,
25:51
I just it's it's great for
25:53
someone with fluid play. Yeah. Hank, you
25:55
know, like, that it really
25:58
went there. And it's just worth
26:00
saying, like, everything she does is so,
26:02
like, motivated and infused
26:04
with enthusiasm and commitment. Like, they don't
26:06
skip a b if feels like performative. Yeah. It
26:08
feels like this is a continuous shot. Like, it's
26:10
not, but it just feels continuous.
26:13
And then we just get, like,
26:15
crazy Fucking. Yeah. And this is very
26:17
hot. Like, I had to watch this and I'm her
26:19
baby. Body is so I will
26:21
say that, like, the massage
26:23
or the oil is really good for
26:26
her. For well, a for big naturals, but also just
26:28
for her particular body because she has,
26:30
like, like, she's a, like, a
26:32
full figured woman, and it, like,
26:34
highlights everything so well. Like, you
26:36
look. You wanna grab her. You know, her
26:38
curves are glistening. Yeah. Like, for how
26:40
do you not, like, grab that ass or,
26:42
like, put your face in those titties,
26:44
you know, she also, like, does some just,
26:46
like, crazy shit or, like, Logan's faces
26:48
between her -- Yeah. -- tips, and she's, like, on top of
26:50
him and, like, dragging her tips, like, across
26:52
his face and, like, down his shoulders --
26:54
Yeah. -- like, whipping him with them and stuff.
26:56
Like -- Right. -- but, again, it didn't feel
26:58
like child. Oh, it just felt -- Yeah. -- so
27:01
exactly. Like -- Yeah. -- it just felt
27:03
committed and, like, creative and,
27:05
like, I did watch this high, which is how I would recommend watching
27:07
this part. Is it, like, you know, is
27:09
that it looks even better because you're, like, oh, you
27:11
just wanna feel that. No. Exactly. Like,
27:13
it just felt so sensual and, like,
27:16
wild and, like, holy shit. Like, it
27:18
just felt creative, you know, like, in
27:20
this way that was really fucking
27:23
sexy. My only thing is, like, I just I
27:25
there was just so much squirting of oil in
27:27
our mouths and holding it and spitting it on each other. I
27:29
was worried about the pH balance of it, you know.
27:31
Yeah. See, we're thinking about infections
27:34
potential. Of course. Yeah. Yeah.
27:36
But my God, she's a show woman. You know what I
27:38
mean? Like And also, it ends with a
27:40
hand job. Which I really like.
27:42
Yeah. She's, like, squeezing the base of his
27:44
dick and, like, jerking him off and, like, staring at him
27:46
in his eyes and she's, like, wow, he's,
27:48
like, getting close to coming. She's like, oh, I can feel it. You
27:50
know? Yeah. And then he comes on
27:52
her and she, like, licks it off. It's really
27:55
hot bed. Yeah. Very hot.
27:59
Yeah. I loved it. I loved it. This is
28:01
in my bank bank. She's a fucking
28:03
champ. Like, We've been
28:05
talking about Angela White in a while. Or or
28:07
really featured that many pours that she's
28:09
in. Actually, I don't even know if we have. Yeah. And I
28:11
was like, this is It's
28:13
a plus it's a plus work. Right. She's a fucking
28:15
I knew that we were gonna if we were gonna talk about this,
28:17
we had to feature her because she's sort of Yeah.
28:20
Well done. Thank you for that. Highly
28:22
recommend. This is the big
28:24
natties video -- Yeah. -- for anyone who's a
28:26
big natties fan. So the
28:28
other vid. The other vid will talk
28:31
about bang surprise, chesty, Chloe, surreal,
28:33
titty, fuck's a big cock before taking it
28:35
deep in her pussy. Mhmm.
28:38
So Chloe surreal is someone who comes up a
28:40
lot when, like, big naturals on, like, pornhub. Mhmm.
28:42
And this is, like, one of those classic, like, mainstream
28:44
videos where there's, like, a weird dance
28:47
intro. Yes. Which, like, there's
28:49
kind of, like, nothing I hate more. Like, it's
28:51
just, like, like, dancing, like,
28:53
body scanning. You know, like, I don't really need
28:55
that. Yeah. And she I
28:57
did like the close-up on her face. Like, she's
28:59
gonna cute, like, use the face with, like,
29:01
little freckles and, like, her eyes and
29:03
stuff. But then Yeah. We get, like, a
29:05
presentation, like, she's wearing -- Yeah. --
29:07
dance, like, the catch -- two
29:09
piece -- Yeah. -- and she's, like, doing a
29:11
lot of, like, pulling the boobs, like,
29:13
flopping them down, and I'm like, god, those things must
29:15
be fucking heavy, you know. Yeah. Like, I
29:17
did feel like that has to, like, hurt a
29:19
little. Yeah. But And she
29:21
also does the thing where she's, like, pulls the
29:24
fishnets, like, on her vulva and, like, and,
29:26
like, flossing her crotch.
29:28
Yes. And then we get some oil out because, of course,
29:30
if we're gonna do big naturals, we gotta have oil.
29:32
Gotta grease up those booj. We gotta grease
29:34
up those other stuff. Like, soft and
29:37
mushy. Mhmm. And then we get this man who's
29:40
playing with them like he's a kid
29:42
in a candy store. Yes.
29:44
Yes. This is sort of the difference. Right? Yeah.
29:46
It's like this feels a little bit
29:48
like he's got innovation
29:50
for innovation sake. Yeah. Like, he does
29:53
himself face slapping. Yeah. That's, like, much
29:55
more, like, weird and, like --
29:57
Oh. -- he also does the thing where he just is,
29:59
like, oh, just one. And he, like, kind of, like,
30:01
rubs his stick on, like, one. You
30:03
know, think his dick like his face, one nipple, and
30:05
I was, like, they're gigantic tits, but
30:07
they're certainly not, like, encompassing your
30:10
dick. So Yeah. We're
30:12
just playing here. And she's, like, around,
30:14
slapping him in the face with her tits, and she's, like, you're
30:16
gonna get a black eye, and he's, like, I love
30:18
it. Yeah. And
30:20
he kind of like holds one. And this
30:22
is where I was like, this feels like an utter because he's like,
30:25
I'm I'm like squeezing it, like eating it.
30:27
And I was like, yeah. This is a
30:29
little and, like, squeezing it in, like, a thin way. Like, you know,
30:31
like, the tits lost all meaning in this. It's
30:33
kind of what happens. Yes. Like, that
30:36
that, like, they became these fun bags. And,
30:38
like, that's totally its own, like,
30:40
valid thing. But it did feel like
30:42
it had a slightly weird or
30:44
more juvenile angled
30:46
to it that, like, lost me a little bit. But
30:48
there I also have to say there's probably a
30:50
reason that, like, if you're gonna be squeezing tits
30:52
this much, like, you do need oil because
30:54
I'm someone who, like, whenever someone squeezes
30:56
my tits, like, I get, like, burst blood
30:59
vessels. Yeah. I don't really I get, like,
31:01
the arcs and bruises. So, like,
31:03
if you're you kinda have to you kinda need
31:05
the oils. That doesn't happen.
31:07
Yeah. So I can't
31:09
believe that they also went through this whole
31:11
video and they didn't rip the fishnets. Yeah.
31:13
Seems like a missed opportunity. Like, I
31:15
thought for sure that was gonna happen at one point.
31:17
Around the big tickle biddies, you know.
31:21
Yeah. Yeah. I also, like,
31:23
struggled a little bit. She's
31:25
gorgeous, but she does kind of
31:27
the, like, Again, the sort of childish
31:29
phase of, like, what's happening and the
31:31
sound? And she's doing that well. She's getting titty fast.
31:33
Like, she's doing these, like, childish
31:35
sounds and, like, Oh, no. Like,
31:37
face. Mhmm. Well, someone's in their tits, and
31:39
I'm like and this guy looks older.
31:42
Yeah. Yeah. So we are leaning into, like,
31:44
almost age play here. Yeah. Yeah,
31:46
it's just less believable, you know, especially when
31:48
it's like, you're dismayed about how your
31:50
tits are being fucked right now. You know, like, there's not
31:53
quite anything hard
31:55
to swallow about that. It was
31:57
strange. You know? Yeah. I wanted to, like,
31:59
this more. Like, I kind of was, like, maybe I'm just
32:01
gonna love all the big natties. And
32:03
while there were, like, great elements to this,
32:05
it just did not stand up to the other
32:07
one. It had some tough competition, not that the points
32:09
are always in competition, but that's just
32:11
what happens. Right. I think it's a good they're a good side
32:13
by side comparison of, like, how to
32:15
play with a boob and not make it seem like you're,
32:17
like, someone with, like, a, like, a
32:19
baby, like, breastfeeding, kink. You
32:21
know? Yeah. And you can have a breastfeeding.
32:23
Okay. Totally. Because it just kinda, like,
32:25
walked I don't know. It was it was sort
32:27
of interesting that he was just, like, obsessed
32:30
with her. Tents and it was kind of
32:32
I don't know. It was just sort of an interesting line
32:34
that she was both infantilized and, like
32:36
-- Mhmm. -- kind of, like, mommy
32:38
kinks and Yeah. It
32:40
just felt a little bit, like, weird
32:42
ideas for weird ideas sake as opposed
32:44
to just, like, leaning more into either ink.
32:46
It, like, it just didn't feel, like, loaded
32:49
with that stuff. It felt more like decorated with it.
32:51
Fair. There's a there's a fucking
32:53
weird way of criticizing it.
32:55
Listen. We got there. Yeah. Yeah.
32:57
Well, safe to say the Angela White one is definitely something
32:59
I'm masturbating to. Yeah. I'm I'm
33:01
gonna need to, like, work massage
33:04
oil into my real life very
33:06
safe. I am. Sam. Come on.
33:08
Would be nice. Yeah. Would be very nice
33:10
on a massage. Yeah. But I
33:12
love a big nap. I love big nappy,
33:14
big nachies. And that's reminding you
33:16
all, it's okay to have unnatural
33:19
boobs too. I love
33:21
unnatural boobs. Okay. I
33:23
love it. Naturals tits. Yeah. Listen. Just
33:25
because we want, like, one thing on the show doesn't mean
33:27
we don't like it's counterpart, you know. Exactly.
33:29
Which some people need to know.
33:32
Need to sometimes remind people of that. We like big tits. We
33:34
like little tits. We like big tits. We got
33:36
like natural tits. We just like
33:38
tits. Okay? Yeah. We do.
33:40
Just like titties. Titties. Well,
33:42
thank you so much for listening to girls
33:45
on porn. You can find us on Instagram and TikTok at
33:47
girls on porn. That's porn with at the o on our
33:49
Twitter at jupyph podcast on our website at girls
33:51
on porn dot com and also on our
33:53
Patreon, patreon dot com slash girls on
33:55
porn. Don't forget to rate review and
33:57
subscribe if you haven't already. And
33:59
in If you want to leave us a five star review, feel free to
34:01
drop your Instagram handle so we can tag it
34:03
and thank you. This has been girls on porn, the
34:05
only GOP that actually any
34:08
good. That
34:15
was a head down podcast.
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