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Brunette

Brunette

Released Wednesday, 6th December 2023
 1 person rated this episode
Brunette

Brunette

Brunette

Brunette

Wednesday, 6th December 2023
 1 person rated this episode
Rate Episode

Episode Transcript

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0:02

This is a HeadGum Podcast. Hey

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listeners, friendly reminder that we now have

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our work for as low as $3 a month. Just

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go to patreon.com/girls on porn.

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Welcome to Girls on Porn, I'm

0:31

Rachel, I'm Laura, and we love

0:33

porn. This is our porn review

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podcast. We talk about what we love

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and we roast what we hate.

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Helping you find hot, ethical, just

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plain better porn for your spank

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bank. And we're looking at everything.

0:51

Before we introduce the topic, we have a

0:53

hairy little segment for you today. 69

0:57

Seconds of Sex News. We've

1:01

pulled headlines from the news to keep

1:03

you informed and horny. Here

1:05

we go. Light

1:08

the candles and get out your kneelers.

1:10

It's time to talk about the Catholic

1:12

Church. In a letter responding to questions

1:14

from cardinals around the world, Pope Francis

1:17

said he is open to Catholic priests

1:19

blessing same-sex unions. Pope Francis is by

1:21

no means ending the Vatican's overall stance

1:23

on gay marriage, but rather endorsing a

1:26

case-by-case approach to these blessings. This is

1:28

one step on a long road toward

1:30

ending years of stigma and taboo for queer people

1:32

in the church. Though, as someone who

1:34

watches a lot of gay porn, I gotta ask, at

1:37

what cost? A

1:39

new frontier in sex tourism just dropped.

1:41

Berlin's Psy Brothel, which claims to be

1:43

the first of its kind, provides clients

1:45

the opportunity to rent realistic sex dolls

1:47

and engage in VR porn. Though similar

1:49

concepts have existed in Japan for years,

1:52

Psy Brothel's dolls each boast unique personalities,

1:54

traits, and voice actors, offering its clients

1:56

a truly immersive experience. Even a sex

1:58

doll can be a great experience. and

2:00

VR get more realistic, it's important to remember the

2:02

difference between dolls and humans. There's a

2:04

joke about Barbie in there, but I'm too busy

2:06

looking up sex doll voice actor auditions on Actors

2:08

Access. Oh, I... New Republican

2:11

House Speaker Mike Johnson has made

2:13

headlines for using anti-porn software again.

2:16

A 2022 clip recently resurfaced showing

2:18

Speaker Johnson discussing his usage of

2:20

Covenant Eyes, an app

2:22

devoted to freeing users from the

2:24

chains of pornography, the app mines

2:27

its users' data and produces weekly

2:29

reports to the user's accountability partner,

2:31

alerting them to any objectionable content.

2:33

Speaker Johnson's accountability partner is his teenage

2:36

son who, according to Johnson, has a

2:38

clean slate, making him one of the

2:40

small percentage of teenagers whose porn consumption

2:42

is celebrated by their parents. Oh! Bonafide

2:45

brunette babe Riley Reed has launched her

2:47

own AI avatar with site clona.ai. Her

2:51

avatar was trained using footage from Reed's YouTube

2:53

videos, podcasts, interviews, and adult work to truly

2:55

capture her essence. Per clona.ai's

2:58

rules, users are prohibited from

3:00

chatting about anything sexual or taboo with avatars like Reed's,

3:02

but they are able to talk about just about anything

3:04

else under the sun for $30 a month. As

3:08

great as this service is, it just

3:10

makes me wonder, can AI really replace

3:12

a real-life brunette? And that leads

3:14

us to today's topic! BRUNETTE!

3:17

Ugh... Just because we

3:19

like to make it about us. Yeah, anytime

3:21

we can, you know? I'm selfish. Listen,

3:24

we've done a topic about blonde, we've done a topic

3:26

about redhead. It seemed only fair. Yeah.

3:28

We gotta include ourselves excessively, frankly.

3:31

I mean, I talk about myself

3:33

all day long. Especially

3:36

on my podcast. But yeah,

3:38

you know, I just thought it would be kind

3:40

of interesting to take a look at it, since brunette

3:42

is, you know, one of

3:44

the biggest... I mean, it's more... It's a

3:47

big old search term. It is. We're popular. Okay? We

3:49

can say it. I mean, what's the percentage of people

3:51

that have brown hair? Most

3:53

people that are white. 20%

3:56

of the world's population has brown hair. I was way off.

3:59

Yeah. Actually, I know, I thought

4:01

that was weird too, but it's most people have

4:03

like the highest, highest hair color,

4:05

what am I trying to say? The

4:07

most common color of hair is actually black. Oh

4:12

yeah, closely followed by brown. Yeah.

4:15

And then, yeah, I did modify my answer with white

4:17

people. Yeah, fair. And then

4:19

blonde, and then obviously like a very small percentage of us have

4:22

red hair. But

4:24

yeah, so I know 20%, you would think that it would be

4:27

more. I'm proud of 20%, I'll take it. But

4:29

then it makes sense and you think about like, yeah, I

4:31

guess like, but like is brunette like

4:33

a sub-sex of, no it's not, it's its own

4:35

color. Under the banner of what? Of like black

4:37

hair. Are those kinds

4:40

of brunettes? Are they just kind of brunettes? I think that's like the

4:42

question that like, if you told me someone's

4:44

brunette, and I looked

4:46

at their hair, and it was much darker

4:48

than mine, to the point of being like,

4:50

sure, that's a raven hair, a raven hair,

4:53

gal, for example. I

4:55

would still count that as, we could be

4:57

brown hair, we could be brunette. And

5:00

people, more people with black hair, than I'm like getting

5:02

out of. And then like, well, are they actually brunettes?

5:04

Yeah. My whole life,

5:06

everyone was like, you have black hair, and I was like, no I don't. Because

5:09

it's a very deep, was that really hard

5:12

for you? It was upsetting, clearly. It

5:14

was upsetting. Because it's a very

5:16

deep, dark brown. It hasn't

5:18

been my natural, I haven't had my natural hair color in, I

5:21

don't know, years, but you can see it, like underneath here, you

5:23

know. Like it is a very dark brown. And

5:26

I was like, no, no, no, no, it's dark, dark, dark, dark, dark, dark brown.

5:28

It's not black. Just

5:31

brings up the question of the stats. Yeah, I

5:33

know. Now I honestly don't even

5:35

know what brunette is anymore. Yeah, I mean, I

5:37

thought this was like a pretty cut and dry

5:39

definition compared to other episodes. And now I'm

5:42

out to sea. Right, and there are many shades of brunettes. Oh,

5:45

look at this list of shades. I know. Deepest

5:47

brunette. Which I haven't talked about. That's

5:49

how I feel. Dark chestnut brown, yeah,

5:51

deepest brunette, is that you? Yeah, essential,

5:53

somehow. I know, deepest brunette. What

5:56

the fuck am I? Walnut brown,

5:58

caramel brown. You've got some. caramelly. Do I

6:00

have some caramel? I mean I also have some color

6:02

but I'll see. Imagine like having to describe your hair

6:04

as mousy. That's upsetting to me. I think of mousy

6:07

as a texture more than a color. I think of

6:09

it as like flat. Yeah. And light

6:12

brown. Yeah. Oh maple brown is kind

6:14

of nice. Maybe I'm maple brown. Oh

6:17

it sounds delicious. Can I be delicious?

6:19

Yeah. Sounds really yummy. And

6:21

there's a lot of um I think like preconceived notions

6:23

about people with brown hair. You know.

6:26

I don't know like I was really trying

6:28

to find like historically like where you know

6:30

I mean same thing when we did the

6:32

episode on blonde but like where

6:34

it came across like brunettes

6:36

were yeah intelligent sophisticated

6:39

yeah serious and why are blondes

6:41

the bimboes yeah justice for brunette

6:43

bimbos. We're out here babes. There

6:46

are brunette bimbos. Yeah you know. Yeah. And

6:49

I think that you know there was like

6:51

this study that was done of

6:53

like a scientific reason why men neither prefer brunettes

6:55

or blondes from Elite Daily. A

6:58

female test subject sat in a nightclub over the course of

7:00

several weeks changing her hair over the course of the weeks

7:02

and counting up like how many men approached her and

7:04

the subject was approached

7:06

by about 30% more men when they were blonde

7:09

but they had a follow-up study where they asked

7:11

men to say like which the same woman and

7:13

they said like who is more beautiful and they

7:15

said the men favored the brunette. Interesting.

7:18

I know. It's an interesting variable

7:21

or lack thereof that it's the same woman. Yeah.

7:23

Do you know what I mean? Because I almost feel

7:26

like there's other elements of her features that may or

7:28

may not work better with the hair colors. Yeah. To

7:30

an extent. Right. But it's funny to me that they

7:32

think that like oh she's more approachable when she's blondes.

7:35

You know. Yeah. But like a brunette is

7:37

serious. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

7:39

It's like gentlemen. Blondes also

7:42

gentlemen prefer blondes but the gentlemen

7:44

marry marry brunettes. Is that

7:46

the rest of that expression? Yeah. Yeah. So

7:48

they marry brunettes. Uh-huh. Yeah. Interesting. Which is

7:50

so fascinating to me because maybe I should

7:53

try being blonde because I'm still single as

7:55

a brunette. You know. Nothing's

7:57

worked so far. I guess they should use a

7:59

blonde and it was intense. I don't know that

8:01

we need that. I love the amber

8:04

tones. Sure. I like what you do with red. Thank you.

8:06

I like just red and brown. I like that fun. Yeah.

8:09

The thing you should know about me is

8:11

I like that fun. I didn't know that

8:13

about you. I don't know how I missed

8:15

that. And all of our years of friendship.

8:17

I was like, she's really a fucking downer.

8:19

She's serious. No, no capacity for a good

8:22

time. Also, John Millward, my

8:24

guy, he did the got the digging

8:26

deep, the inside look into the adult

8:28

film, internet adult film database. Yeah, he

8:30

likes, yeah, you know, went through all

8:32

this research. He found that 39.1% of

8:35

female performers have brown hair. 31

8:38

39. More than 32% blonde. Interesting.

8:40

More porn performers have brown hair.

8:42

Yeah, which is kind of crazy.

8:45

But yeah, so the idea like

8:47

he also like took what the

8:49

most like common foreign start

8:51

would be, you know, like, yeah, you sort of

8:53

made an avatar, like this is the day would

8:56

be brunettes. Yeah. And they would, they're, it would

8:58

have a B cup and their name would be

9:00

Nikki. Yeah. Yeah. Which

9:02

is so weird. Because it's not what you think.

9:04

Everyone's like it would be a massive, no, no,

9:06

no, no, no. Yeah. Gone are those days. The

9:09

name Nikki tracks though. Yeah. Well, that's what's funny

9:11

is my sister is a brunette named Nikki. Oh,

9:13

there you go. Yeah. Well, she's got a line

9:15

of work available to her. But yeah, but so

9:18

many like we all we always think I think,

9:20

you know, like 10 years ago, I think whenever

9:22

we thought of a form of former, we thought

9:24

of like Jenna Jamison. Yeah. You know, Yeah. And

9:27

it shifted to what Riley Reed.

9:29

Yeah, sure. Really? She's very famous. Also,

9:31

the who's the top brunette porn stars.

9:33

I made a lot of beautiful segue.

9:35

I didn't mean to. Well,

9:37

thank you for teeing it up. I

9:39

had Lana Rhodes, Angela white, Bella

9:42

danger, Violet Meyers, Lena

9:45

Paul, Emily Willis,

9:48

Autumn falls, Adriana Chechik, Danny

9:52

Daniels, Jonatior. I'm just like

9:54

naming all the most famous porn stars. Really? Great list.

9:56

Yeah. I like just being like, Oh,

9:58

yeah. And that's I will

10:00

thank you. Yes. So then I

10:02

also had to look at like male porn performers

10:04

too. In terms of this is all sourced from

10:07

porn hubs like top performers, top models, you know,

10:09

like in terms of popularity. So I went to

10:11

Guy and this is number one Jordy El Nino,

10:13

boya, classic. Classic brunette.

10:15

Followed by Owen Gray, who I

10:18

didn't think of him as a

10:20

brunette. But that's also a fine

10:22

line. That's another area where it gets he's sort of

10:24

a redhead because a lot of blonde

10:27

weirdly I find this with, well, I guess it's

10:29

true. He has ginger energy. Ginger

10:31

energy. Is he not a ginger? See,

10:34

I thought of him as like a dirty

10:36

blonde. Fascinating. Like I didn't think of him

10:38

as like red tones. I'm trying to get

10:40

this what pubes look like. Dark,

10:42

aren't they? They're sort of quite scary. Quite scary. Hard

10:45

to know. They're scarce, yeah, but I think they're sort of

10:47

gingery. Have I just like made

10:49

him a ginger in my head? I think so.

10:51

But I also know people who are convinced they're

10:53

like a friend of mine who I won't name

10:55

because they get weird. You're convinced

10:57

they're ginger? Yeah. I think other people in

10:59

his family are. Oh, so he's got like

11:01

ginger DNA. He does get like ginger specs

11:04

in his beard. Oh, sure. But he's fucking

11:06

blonde. Yeah. I mean, I have

11:08

a friend too that he's a red, that says he's a redhead and I'm

11:10

like, babe, no, you're not. But also sometimes people will be like, oh, I'm

11:12

not blonde. I have brown hair. And I'm like, your hair is

11:14

blonde. Like your hair is so much.

11:16

But I guess if we're getting into mousy, like,

11:18

I know that where blondes exist, the color spectrum,

11:21

I don't know all the words even. Well,

11:24

to me, he's the ginger. And

11:26

that's that makes him more attractive to you. You

11:28

want to hold on to that because he's special. Yeah.

11:31

Yeah. He's exotic because they're rare. Yes,

11:33

they are. I see. Yeah.

11:36

And also like, you know, he has a higher threshold for pain.

11:38

Do gingers have a higher threshold for pain? Isn't it true? Lower.

11:41

I thought the opposite was true. Oh, they're

11:43

they. Oh, really? Yeah. But

11:45

they need more anesthesia. Wait, that is

11:48

a thing. They need more anesthesia. Yeah. Like

11:50

the regular person. Yeah. Because

11:53

they're more sensitive to the pain. Oh, okay.

11:56

Okay. Maybe. Maybe.

12:00

I see in my head that I thought they were at

12:02

this whole time. I've just correlated those wrong. Yeah, I

12:04

thought that they were like, oh, they don't, they don't,

12:07

they don't hurt. They don't feel pain, but

12:09

they feel pain more intensely. No, it's, I

12:11

think it's kind of the opposite. And this

12:13

will just sound like a judgment, but more

12:15

like frail creatures, like, more prone

12:18

to like, more frail creatures.

12:20

There's like, like, worse immune

12:22

systems, like, like, inbred,

12:24

lower, you know, inbred. Yeah, of course.

12:27

No, I think it's something

12:29

to do with like the, you

12:31

know, the evolutionary line and like

12:34

it being like, it's almost because

12:36

they're rare that they, now

12:39

I just sound like I'm racist against

12:41

gingers, which I did grow up in Colorado.

12:43

If you've seen that South Park episode, it's

12:46

real. There's this

12:48

kind of this around gingers in Colorado and maybe

12:50

it's in me and I didn't mean to. Weirdly,

12:53

the episode is about brunettes. And here we are.

12:55

I'm just, well, what I'm doing is

12:57

I'm sneakily disparaging the other hair colors to boost my

12:59

own. You see? Okay,

13:02

some other popular brunette porn

13:05

stars. Antonio Mallorca,

13:07

Manuel Ferrara, Nacho

13:10

Vidal, Lucas Frost, Ramon

13:13

Nomar, Tyler Nixon, Seth

13:16

Gamble. Oh, delicious list. Great

13:20

list. You

13:22

know, we could just make the show listing porn

13:24

stars. Yeah, making sounds and reaction to them. But

13:26

then I feel bad when there's like one I

13:28

don't know. And I'm like, and also you and

13:31

also him. Okay. Fun

13:33

little fun little stats about brunette as a

13:35

search term. Okay. Because I couldn't really find

13:37

anything. I feel like

13:39

brunette is just like it just people just happen to

13:42

be brunette. I don't think people are really like searching

13:44

for it. Yeah, like they are like, I don't know.

13:46

I don't think brunettes are fetishized, I guess. Yeah,

13:48

I think people just happen to be brunettes.

13:51

Yes. Yes. Like the fun

13:53

is asynn moves more when it's like

13:55

culturally associated. Whereas like, yeah, I

13:57

don't know anyone who searches like blonde or brunette that

13:59

isn't like. a 17 year old

14:01

boy trying porn for the first time being like

14:03

my crush has this color hair Yeah, the way

14:06

that we all were like I'm this spice girl

14:08

because I that's my hair color They always made

14:10

me be sporty and I didn't want I was

14:12

also made to be sporty I wanted less order

14:14

than I am I wanted to be ginger. You're

14:17

a ginger. Yes, that makes utter sense

14:19

Thank you. You're gin. I I officially

14:22

command you do you I actually

14:24

don't know that's kind of the problem. Yeah,

14:27

like None of them.

14:29

Yeah, I'm not baby spy one. Well,

14:31

I'm not very sporty would have been

14:33

would be the like such a tomboy

14:35

Yeah, like they put her in such

14:37

a sporty category Yeah, I was like

14:39

can we fucking once give her

14:42

like a sexy blazer dress as opposed to a

14:44

tracksuit? Yeah, I have thought about scary. Yeah, but

14:46

also scary Like what do they do to her

14:48

like what do they mean scary spice? Like

14:50

that was problematic in its own way and like always

14:53

that we were like what is your person? But you

14:55

just have like a big personality like yeah that I'm

14:57

like sure maybe I'm like a combo of scary and

14:59

sporty Right, right, but both are kind of meaningless You

15:02

know, yes, you just slap a label on the other

15:04

and we're like wow Our

15:07

tiny little brains. Okay. Um, so back to the pornhub

15:09

stats. Yes, this is from the 2022 year in review

15:14

Mexicans are 81% more into Burnett when

15:16

compared to the rest of the world Brazilians

15:19

are 92% more likely to

15:21

view Burnett and then

15:23

visitors from Poland are 107%

15:26

more internet. Okay, really interesting I

15:30

thought we were going in like sort of a South America

15:32

Well, we were going in like a

15:34

viewing our own, right like culture

15:37

direction and then Poland Although it's

15:39

not like Poland is exclusively blonde people.

15:41

Yeah, that's true But it's interesting that

15:43

it's so much higher there like there

15:45

has to be some cultural element that

15:47

like, yeah Maybe they're like a brouette

15:49

is exotic, you know, maybe they're like

15:51

wow a spicy. Yeah, you know point

15:53

compared to You

15:55

know a very Christian blond. Mm-hmm.

15:58

Yeah, interesting Interesting.

16:02

I'm sorry, I'm still not over the fact that the

16:04

20% of the world's population has

16:06

brown hair. That feels wrong. I want you to

16:08

do a deeper dive. You know? I'm weirdly happy

16:10

to just forget that stat for the rest of

16:12

my life. I guess. Sure. I'm

16:14

just like looking at this room right now

16:17

and all three of us have 100% of

16:20

this room has brown hair. I think that part

16:22

of the challenge resides in the

16:25

difference between brown and black. Sure. Because I

16:27

think that is a Venn diagram you see.

16:29

Right. And a bit murky where like some

16:31

people with raven hair are considered brunette. Right.

16:34

And if we're saying this many people have black

16:36

hair. Yeah. Black is a quite

16:38

absolute concept. It is, yeah. You

16:40

know what I mean? So I don't, I'd be very curious

16:43

where they're drawing the line and where they're like, you get

16:45

to be on this side and you

16:47

get to be on this side. Like countries and

16:49

like Asia and you know. Yeah. I'm thinking about

16:51

many ethnicities and cultures and being like, what would

16:53

you call that? Yeah. You know?

16:55

Of course. And certainly I have Asian friends who are

16:57

like, my hair's brown. Yeah. Because it's like, you know, like

17:00

there's a spectrum there as well. Sure. Of

17:02

course. So who did the

17:04

study? Yes. Side questions. World

17:07

Atlas. It's a

17:09

study. That does sound

17:11

like a problematic textbook I read in third grade.

17:13

Yeah. Like it does sound like there are four

17:16

colors on there. There's a white man

17:18

holding the globe. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. And

17:20

he's supposed to represent God. Yeah. Or

17:23

at least we feel like he does. Because

17:25

it's going to definitely be patriarchal. Yeah. I

17:27

got like a white beard. Yeah. Should

17:29

we do the showdown? Let's do the showdown.

17:31

Okay. Hot brunette. Enjoy

17:34

giving a blowy and then hardcore

17:36

fucking. I haven't

17:38

used the term blowy. Blowy. Blowy

17:41

is, it's, I

17:43

dated a guy in high school briefly who hated the

17:46

word handy. Oh. Because he thought it was like juvenile.

17:48

Yeah. I think blowy kind of has a similar risk.

17:50

Well it sounds like a child's

17:52

TV show. Yeah. Because there is one

17:55

called blowy. But like, you know. So

17:57

it's just, it's a hair off. A brown hair.

18:00

hair off or

18:02

is it a bra is it a braving hair off? Blowy

18:05

and then hardcore fucking. Yeah, it

18:07

certainly doesn't sound sexy like blowy,

18:10

blowy and then hardcore fucking. They don't go, they

18:12

don't go hand in hand. No. Yeah,

18:15

yeah. They don't go handy in handy. Sexy

18:18

brunette whore gets double penetrated by

18:20

hot Latina blonde tranny and horny

18:22

dude nearby the swimming pool. Wow,

18:25

we got a lot of. A

18:27

lot happening. A lot of descriptors.

18:30

The problem is terminology in there. This

18:33

is verbatim. Blonde and brunette. Yeah. Dude.

18:36

Where there's a horny dude and there's

18:38

a Latina blonde trans person who

18:40

are double teaming this sexy brunette

18:43

whore. Yes. Blessed we forget.

18:45

Double teaming and double penetrating. So,

18:47

you know, when you remove the problematic labeling,

18:49

it actually sounds kind of hot. I'm

18:53

like, this is just a cool swimming

18:55

pool. Swimming pool side threesome, but with

18:57

some DP. Okay,

19:00

okay, I'm done talking about this one. Okay. I

19:03

close the book on it. Brunette

19:06

married guy take a gays cock.

19:13

Take a gays cock. Just take a gays cock.

19:15

You know what? Take a gays cock. We all

19:17

need to take a gays cock like once a

19:19

week. You know, here and there. How can you

19:21

say you've lived? You haven't taken a

19:24

gays cock. You know, gorgeous brunette

19:26

gets licked before rough fuck. Ooh.

19:29

Anal addicted. I kind

19:31

of liked that touch at the end. This honestly could be about me. Yeah,

19:33

honestly, it could be. I

19:36

see myself in this. Yeah. You know.

19:39

Anal addicted. That would be the name of your

19:41

channel. It would be. It's a good one. It's

19:43

good. Yeah, I'm subscribing. I already signed up. Peep-a-poop.

19:49

Wonderful brunette enjoying. That's

19:52

it. That's it. She's just enjoying.

19:54

What does it matter where she's enjoying? She's enjoying it.

19:56

Let her live. Let her have her pleasure. We don't

19:58

need to define it now. We don't

20:00

need to label it. She's just enjoying.

20:02

She's just enjoying. Similarly,

20:05

short and sweet, brunettes seduce

20:07

employer. Oh. This

20:09

kind of touches on the sophisticated idea. Like

20:12

I do think a lot of brunettes are more like, she's...

20:15

Or she has a job. She has a job. We

20:19

don't know what it is. As long as the

20:21

babysitter, the brunette is the secretary in the unfortunate

20:23

pantsuit for some reason. Yeah. We

20:25

don't know if it's well paying. We

20:28

don't know what kind of benefits she gets. Yeah. But

20:31

she has a job. Yeah. Okay.

20:34

Laugh out for me. Okay. Anal

20:36

sex, anal sex, brunette blowjob cumshot facial oral

20:38

sex hot. This is also

20:40

on your channel. Anal sex,

20:42

anal sex. I

20:44

mean, you know what I mean? Like, come on. Yeah.

20:48

It's a mantra practically. Anal sex,

20:50

anal sex, brunette blowjob cumshot facial

20:52

oral sex hot. It's a call

20:54

to action. It's active. What do

20:57

we want? Anal sex, anal sex.

21:00

This one for some reason really tickles me. I

21:04

fuck her her finally. Sexy brunette babe. I

21:07

fuck her her finally. I fuck her her finally.

21:09

I fuck her her finally. This

21:18

sounds like my European vacation. I

21:20

fuck her her finally. Two

21:24

days I chase her around the street. I fuck

21:26

her her finally. I have to fuck her ass.

21:29

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amazing. Thank you, Ora Welcome

23:19

to free use kitchen Is

23:21

the name of the first video we're gonna talk

23:24

about from say uncle Freeze

23:26

twink we found this on x hamster.

23:28

What a sight it

23:30

stars Dakota Lovell Jonah Wheeler and a

23:32

moon bane and You

23:35

know a little premise these three

23:38

Charming men are hanging out there.

23:40

They're chatting about their dinner. Yeah,

23:43

they're gonna make they just went to the

23:45

grocery store They've gotten anything that vaguely resembles

23:47

a dick and they're gonna grill it up.

23:49

They well, there's a lot of discussion about

23:51

whether or not it's real I wanted to

23:54

get right into like the thing that is

23:56

most impressive about this is

23:58

how much we managed to discuss the

24:00

meal that we're making. Like the

24:02

discussion of the size of the cucumber and

24:04

the best way to cut and grill a

24:06

cucumber. Like different ways. Like are

24:08

we gonna do a skewer? Like are we gonna

24:10

consider all of this? So he holds the eggplant

24:12

up to get a hold of the egg. He's

24:15

like, well they didn't have like full size eggplants.

24:17

I'm like babe, that's a full size eggplant. Like

24:19

they don't come bigger actually. That's it. Full

24:21

size is really funny. I know, I was like that's-

24:24

Like when is it full? If it's an eggplant, you

24:26

know. That's it, it doesn't get any bigger than that.

24:28

That's the eggplant. It's

24:30

a porn joke. Like the dick can always get bigger I

24:32

suppose. I was really dying and impressed

24:34

when I got around to like, and you know

24:36

like cucumber and tea sandwiches. Like they

24:38

were so like grasping at straws. They're like how

24:41

do we draw this fill? The presentation's not as

24:43

long as possible. Because it's like a 30 minute

24:45

video and it's free use. So obviously like they're

24:47

talking about their dinner and they just start whipping

24:49

their dicks out. And they're like jerking

24:52

off, getting hard. And

24:54

then Dakota starts chopping up the zucchini

24:56

while Amone starts fucking him. And I

24:58

was like okay, this is a little

25:01

dangerous. Yeah, slightly dangerous here.

25:03

Yeah, I guess we should clarify

25:05

like basically what's happening is where

25:07

the whole conversation continues. The

25:09

whole scene. So it's not just exposition or

25:11

like scene set up. No, they are talking

25:13

while they're- This isn't like ignoring slash free

25:15

use video where as soon as

25:18

they're just talking about whether they're gonna fry

25:20

or grill the cucumber. Somebody's like masturbating and

25:22

then they're fucking. But with

25:24

the most calm

25:27

collected- Again. No

25:29

reaction to the sex whatsoever. I know, this is

25:32

like, wow, these performers are really great. But

25:35

also at the same time I'm like, I did miss

25:37

the thing that I love about free use, which

25:39

is like the like, okay.

25:42

Yeah. This is a little hard

25:44

for me to concentrate. You know? I want the

25:47

fight. Yes, exactly. Show me the struggle. If you're

25:49

gonna, like the thing that's hot about like ignoring

25:51

style videos for me too is like, yeah, like

25:53

it's a little bit of that dubious consent. When's

25:56

the person be like, I'm just gonna go about

25:58

my past. Yeah. Yeah. It's

26:01

fine. Yes, we can continue. Right. But

26:04

I think that's fine. That's hot. Yeah. This

26:07

is a whole different thing. I know. Like

26:09

they're fully just like having the most

26:11

boring conversation and like having cut a

26:13

very casually fucking each other. Yeah. Which

26:16

is, I mean, there were moments obviously that were hot to me, but

26:19

I was just like, wow, I would have loved just like a little bit

26:21

of like, wow, this is hard for me to concentrate

26:24

or like, you know, yeah. I wonder if

26:26

there's a longer version where I get there.

26:28

There must be. The

26:30

first time Jonah Wheeler also looks

26:33

so much like my friend and

26:35

the end of your family. Sounds like my

26:37

friend. It looks like my friend Matt and like literally looks like

26:39

him. Sounds like him. I was like

26:41

this. I'm watching. I'm watching that. Right

26:44

now. Because I feel like if

26:46

I was going to cast this, yeah, it's

26:48

Cola Scola, Anthony

26:50

Ramos. And then

26:52

I didn't quite have someone for Jonah.

26:55

Well, it's my friend Matt. It's different. Matt.

26:58

That's perfect. You're friend Matt's

27:00

quite attractive. Yeah, I know he's hot. He has

27:02

like a mustache, sort of young daddy vibe.

27:06

He's exactly this person. He does feel like a young dad

27:08

in his tone in this. He's like, well, the thing is

27:10

you can take him out back. I know. And

27:12

you get a nice brown on him. Exactly. Yeah.

27:15

Oh, just put it in me, daddy. And

27:17

he's like in the middle of like second day. He's like, no, that's

27:19

not true. He's like, no, no, no. When you

27:22

when you things get smaller when they're colder. But if

27:24

they if they did get smaller, then like, why would

27:26

they refrigerate vegetables when you go to the grocery store?

27:28

You know, and then he like puts the dick back

27:30

in his mouth. I was like, wow, fascinating. Is that

27:33

also a fact? Wait, what did he say? He was

27:35

like, well, don't like a moment was like, oh, don't

27:37

things get like smaller when they get colder? Like, why

27:39

would you wash it with cold water? We're

27:42

talking about the vegetables. He was like, shouldn't

27:44

you wash it with warm water? He's like, if that was the case, why

27:47

would we put them in like

27:49

refrigerated aisles in the, you

27:51

know, and then we wouldn't want to shrink

27:54

our vegetables. Yeah. The only thing

27:56

I can think of to pretend there's science

27:58

that I'm aware of here. I

28:00

mean the science exists. I just don't know what I'm talking

28:02

about. Of course, but you know that like snow when it

28:04

shrinks down Takes up less space like

28:06

if you have like a bowl of snow and it's like

28:08

piled out the top of the bowl What it melts into

28:10

water is like half the ball Ice

28:14

is bigger than water But

28:18

I mean things when you get the black bowl

28:20

of snow in Michigan I

28:22

thought we had everything in common with

28:24

our state when things get cold they

28:26

shrink like your body Yeah, and

28:29

like your body. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah so

28:32

that's what you When

28:34

it comes to vegetables, I think he was trying to relate

28:36

to the fact about like there were I think everything Shrink

28:43

when they get cold, you know wink

28:45

wink they contract them Yeah Anyways,

28:47

of course, I found this hot because it was

28:49

men fucking each other and there was a train

28:51

at the end I know. Yeah, I'm into this.

28:53

Yeah, but I would have really appreciate a little

28:56

bit more just Just passion some enthusiasm.

28:58

Yeah, I love that if they want to be

29:00

here, right? I was like, oh wow I'm actually

29:02

this is sort of hard to like talk

29:05

about the thing we're talking about. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah Yeah,

29:08

I always want that in my for use

29:10

ignoring. Yeah, but definitely if we

29:12

consider all of these brunettes Yes, all quite

29:14

attractive check the box all quite representative of

29:16

the convention I like that we looked at

29:18

like cuz like of course we could have

29:20

just done like I don't know like a

29:23

lot of roads Whatever. Yeah, check something. I

29:25

was like, let's talk about some gay male

29:27

performer. I love that Yeah, and mixing it

29:29

up and speaking of mixing it up. Yes.

29:31

The next one we want to talk about

29:33

features a Wonderful trans performer.

29:35

I wasn't aware of Daisy.

29:38

Oh, no, no Daisy Taylor. Yeah before

29:40

this. Yeah, I mean either I just

29:42

know like when I think of like

29:44

a brunette like very popular. I mean,

29:46

obviously Natalie Mars. Mm-hmm incredible Yeah, former

29:49

but yeah always nice to diversify our

29:51

portfolio Yes, made a new performer. I

29:53

love what it happened. Yeah, and she's

29:55

gorgeous and really Sweet.

29:58

Yeah, and it was a really Like

30:00

really striking and endearing

30:02

like charismatic performance style. She's got

30:04

like this cute little pixie cut.

30:07

Mm-hmm. And it's a true like

30:09

POV. Yeah. Like waking

30:11

up next to her like oh, you don't remember

30:13

last night. She's on like a belly and like

30:15

curled up. Yeah. Like the angling

30:17

on it is really well done. Yeah,

30:20

it was very intimate. Very intimate. Her

30:22

performance is very like, like

30:24

yeah, it's really captivating. Yeah. Like hey, like last

30:26

night was really fun. Yeah. Like very believable. Yeah.

30:29

Like felt intimate. And she was like, do you know,

30:31

like I could make us breakfast. Like what do you

30:33

plan for today? You know, and then like our POV

30:36

guy starts like playing with her. Yeah. And

30:38

then it gets into some sex. Yeah. It

30:41

also did some like interesting things with like,

30:43

because we've talked about in our trans

30:45

episode way back. Yeah. First talked about like

30:47

the surprise. Oh, sure. They're like the

30:50

sort of how in transport when we're dealing

30:52

with someone with a dick, it's often like,

30:55

aha. Gotcha. Gotcha. Yeah. Like in a problematic

30:57

way. There was a slight moment. There was

30:59

a little, I think what it was doing

31:01

was it was borrowing that trope,

31:04

but slightly modifying it. Yeah. Where we

31:06

just kind of like, she

31:08

just kind of discreetly sits up and like her cock

31:10

kind of just like rolls out onto her leg. Yeah.

31:12

The camera sort of like pans down. And she's just

31:14

kind of like looking at this camera like clocks that

31:16

comes up and then just like reaches right for it.

31:18

Yeah. And just starts like playing. And

31:20

I think it was like, that was kind

31:22

of hot to me because it was like part

31:25

of the, we shouldn't say in part of the premise is that the guy

31:28

and bed with her doesn't remember

31:30

what happened. Yeah. Yeah. Or remember her name.

31:32

Some of that like surprise, surprise. Like she's

31:34

like, nice to meet you. Like you guys

31:36

have that surprise element. Yeah. But him just

31:39

like going for it was like hot.

31:41

Like she kind of owned it. She was like, you remember

31:43

this is like kind of what she might have said. And

31:46

then he like him just being like immediately into

31:49

it and wanting to like play with her cock

31:51

and make her feel good. Felt

31:53

different than like some of this Christ stuff

31:56

we see where it's like aha or it's

31:58

like, oh, gross. Yeah, or

32:00

like you're gay now. Yeah. Oh, well, I guess

32:02

I have to suck this day You know like

32:04

there's like the dubious consent version of it. So

32:06

I thought that was kind of

32:08

clever. I did too Like it's not all together.

32:10

No great Like it's

32:12

not necessarily like totally inclusive because

32:14

it is kind of it's definitely still like

32:17

objectifying It's still kind of fetishizing her it

32:19

is porn after all of course, but it's

32:21

like it's the way that it's sort of

32:23

Harnessing that fetishization seems really conscious

32:25

like he is intentional in a

32:28

way that's smart Yeah, and that

32:30

probably is really effective and

32:32

like drawing an audience. Yeah, and then Davey

32:34

Taylor from what we know is like does

32:36

quite well Yeah, yeah, no really hot vid.

32:39

I also really love I mean I

32:41

love watching You know like I'm a big

32:43

fan of like Aubrey Kate as a

32:45

performer and I love anytime But

32:47

like no one sex organs are ignored,

32:49

you know, like they are used. Yeah,

32:52

everyone's pleasure is involved We also have

32:54

talks together which I weirdly become something

32:56

that really I really love Yeah, a

32:58

lot of time to like you have

33:00

like to hand like double dick hand

33:02

job Really sensual

33:05

also. Yeah, like really like

33:08

the blowjob involved like kissing and

33:10

licking and like eye contact Like

33:12

it was a very intimate. Yeah,

33:14

my favorite part Yeah after like

33:17

we come yeah the person and then Daisy comes.

33:19

Mm-hmm. We go in the shower with her Yeah,

33:21

which I really love. Yeah, we go in the

33:23

shower and then it's like we clean up and

33:26

then it's like, okay And then she like walks

33:28

us to the door and it's like, okay.

33:30

Well, it's really fun Like are you gonna miss

33:32

me, you know? Yeah, it was very sweet Like

33:34

it was like it felt like you know, yeah

33:37

what actually happens like in the morning after like

33:39

a hookup nice one Yeah,

33:41

not most Yeah,

33:43

yeah. No, I loved it. I thought I mean there

33:45

were definitely moments obvious like I was you know

33:47

turned on by this video Yeah, I was so

33:50

I really liked it and I thought that like

33:52

there was something kind of like sweet and like

33:54

girlish about Daisy that I really liked, you know

33:58

Like yeah, I yeah Yeah.

34:00

I was really endeared to her.

34:02

Yeah, me too. She was beautiful

34:05

and just a really strong performer,

34:07

like a really believable, natural

34:10

performance and just like a great

34:12

fuck to watch, you know, like all

34:15

of that. Like, yeah, really striking. I

34:17

was like, what's going on? I

34:19

know. Both of these videos did turn me

34:21

on. I will, you know, guilty. Guilty.

34:25

Yeah, I think I like Dix and

34:27

I like Burnett. So, hey, Sue

34:29

me. Taking all those boxes. Yeah, I

34:31

think Daisy more than our free use,

34:33

just because the free use

34:37

was like so flat, like it was so like

34:39

amusing. Like I was just in a different headspace.

34:41

Right. Like occasionally I'd be like, oh, this is

34:43

kind of hot. Like we're just watching Blowjob, but then

34:45

I'd just be laughing at those moments you're

34:47

talking about of like, oh, that's

34:50

not true. Yeah. I

34:53

was like, it was like an amazing sketch more

34:55

than it was like porn to me. Yes. Yes.

34:58

But they definitely, definitely turned me on. Yeah, it was a

35:00

cool vid. Well, hey, thanks so

35:03

much for listening. Girls on Porn, you can find us

35:05

on our Instagram and TikTok at Girls on Porn. That's

35:07

porn without the O. On

35:09

our YouTube, youtube.com/at Girls on

35:11

Porn. On our website, girlsonporn.com

35:13

and also on our Patreon,

35:16

patreon.com/girls on porn. Don't forget

35:18

to rate, review and subscribe if you haven't already.

35:20

And if you want to leave us a cheeky

35:22

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35:24

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35:32

us to thank you, you can always include your

35:35

Instagram handle. This has been Girls on Porn, the

35:37

only GOP that's actually Eddie Gage.

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