Episode Transcript
Transcripts are displayed as originally observed. Some content, including advertisements may have changed.
Use Ctrl + F to search
0:02
This is a HeadGum Podcast. Hey
0:07
listeners, friendly reminder that we now have
0:09
a Patreon. If you like what you
0:11
hear, you can support the pod. Each
0:13
week we release video casts of the
0:16
episodes, mini bonus episodes, reviews of clips
0:18
submitted by subscribers, behind the scenes content,
0:20
merch discounts, thirst traps, and more. Support
0:23
our work for as low as $3 a month. Just
0:25
go to patreon.com/girls on porn.
0:28
Welcome to Girls on Porn, I'm
0:31
Rachel, I'm Laura, and we love
0:33
porn. This is our porn review
0:35
podcast. We talk about what we love
0:37
and we roast what we hate.
0:39
Helping you find hot, ethical, just
0:41
plain better porn for your spank
0:43
bank. And we're looking at everything.
0:51
Before we introduce the topic, we have a
0:53
hairy little segment for you today. 69
0:57
Seconds of Sex News. We've
1:01
pulled headlines from the news to keep
1:03
you informed and horny. Here
1:05
we go. Light
1:08
the candles and get out your kneelers.
1:10
It's time to talk about the Catholic
1:12
Church. In a letter responding to questions
1:14
from cardinals around the world, Pope Francis
1:17
said he is open to Catholic priests
1:19
blessing same-sex unions. Pope Francis is by
1:21
no means ending the Vatican's overall stance
1:23
on gay marriage, but rather endorsing a
1:26
case-by-case approach to these blessings. This is
1:28
one step on a long road toward
1:30
ending years of stigma and taboo for queer people
1:32
in the church. Though, as someone who
1:34
watches a lot of gay porn, I gotta ask, at
1:37
what cost? A
1:39
new frontier in sex tourism just dropped.
1:41
Berlin's Psy Brothel, which claims to be
1:43
the first of its kind, provides clients
1:45
the opportunity to rent realistic sex dolls
1:47
and engage in VR porn. Though similar
1:49
concepts have existed in Japan for years,
1:52
Psy Brothel's dolls each boast unique personalities,
1:54
traits, and voice actors, offering its clients
1:56
a truly immersive experience. Even a sex
1:58
doll can be a great experience. and
2:00
VR get more realistic, it's important to remember the
2:02
difference between dolls and humans. There's a
2:04
joke about Barbie in there, but I'm too busy
2:06
looking up sex doll voice actor auditions on Actors
2:08
Access. Oh, I... New Republican
2:11
House Speaker Mike Johnson has made
2:13
headlines for using anti-porn software again.
2:16
A 2022 clip recently resurfaced showing
2:18
Speaker Johnson discussing his usage of
2:20
Covenant Eyes, an app
2:22
devoted to freeing users from the
2:24
chains of pornography, the app mines
2:27
its users' data and produces weekly
2:29
reports to the user's accountability partner,
2:31
alerting them to any objectionable content.
2:33
Speaker Johnson's accountability partner is his teenage
2:36
son who, according to Johnson, has a
2:38
clean slate, making him one of the
2:40
small percentage of teenagers whose porn consumption
2:42
is celebrated by their parents. Oh! Bonafide
2:45
brunette babe Riley Reed has launched her
2:47
own AI avatar with site clona.ai. Her
2:51
avatar was trained using footage from Reed's YouTube
2:53
videos, podcasts, interviews, and adult work to truly
2:55
capture her essence. Per clona.ai's
2:58
rules, users are prohibited from
3:00
chatting about anything sexual or taboo with avatars like Reed's,
3:02
but they are able to talk about just about anything
3:04
else under the sun for $30 a month. As
3:08
great as this service is, it just
3:10
makes me wonder, can AI really replace
3:12
a real-life brunette? And that leads
3:14
us to today's topic! BRUNETTE!
3:17
Ugh... Just because we
3:19
like to make it about us. Yeah, anytime
3:21
we can, you know? I'm selfish. Listen,
3:24
we've done a topic about blonde, we've done a topic
3:26
about redhead. It seemed only fair. Yeah.
3:28
We gotta include ourselves excessively, frankly.
3:31
I mean, I talk about myself
3:33
all day long. Especially
3:36
on my podcast. But yeah,
3:38
you know, I just thought it would be kind
3:40
of interesting to take a look at it, since brunette
3:42
is, you know, one of
3:44
the biggest... I mean, it's more... It's a
3:47
big old search term. It is. We're popular. Okay? We
3:49
can say it. I mean, what's the percentage of people
3:51
that have brown hair? Most
3:53
people that are white. 20%
3:56
of the world's population has brown hair. I was way off.
3:59
Yeah. Actually, I know, I thought
4:01
that was weird too, but it's most people have
4:03
like the highest, highest hair color,
4:05
what am I trying to say? The
4:07
most common color of hair is actually black. Oh
4:12
yeah, closely followed by brown. Yeah.
4:15
And then, yeah, I did modify my answer with white
4:17
people. Yeah, fair. And then
4:19
blonde, and then obviously like a very small percentage of us have
4:22
red hair. But
4:24
yeah, so I know 20%, you would think that it would be
4:27
more. I'm proud of 20%, I'll take it. But
4:29
then it makes sense and you think about like, yeah, I
4:31
guess like, but like is brunette like
4:33
a sub-sex of, no it's not, it's its own
4:35
color. Under the banner of what? Of like black
4:37
hair. Are those kinds
4:40
of brunettes? Are they just kind of brunettes? I think that's like the
4:42
question that like, if you told me someone's
4:44
brunette, and I looked
4:46
at their hair, and it was much darker
4:48
than mine, to the point of being like,
4:50
sure, that's a raven hair, a raven hair,
4:53
gal, for example. I
4:55
would still count that as, we could be
4:57
brown hair, we could be brunette. And
5:00
people, more people with black hair, than I'm like getting
5:02
out of. And then like, well, are they actually brunettes?
5:04
Yeah. My whole life,
5:06
everyone was like, you have black hair, and I was like, no I don't. Because
5:09
it's a very deep, was that really hard
5:12
for you? It was upsetting, clearly. It
5:14
was upsetting. Because it's a very
5:16
deep, dark brown. It hasn't
5:18
been my natural, I haven't had my natural hair color in, I
5:21
don't know, years, but you can see it, like underneath here, you
5:23
know. Like it is a very dark brown. And
5:26
I was like, no, no, no, no, it's dark, dark, dark, dark, dark, dark brown.
5:28
It's not black. Just
5:31
brings up the question of the stats. Yeah, I
5:33
know. Now I honestly don't even
5:35
know what brunette is anymore. Yeah, I mean, I
5:37
thought this was like a pretty cut and dry
5:39
definition compared to other episodes. And now I'm
5:42
out to sea. Right, and there are many shades of brunettes. Oh,
5:45
look at this list of shades. I know. Deepest
5:47
brunette. Which I haven't talked about. That's
5:49
how I feel. Dark chestnut brown, yeah,
5:51
deepest brunette, is that you? Yeah, essential,
5:53
somehow. I know, deepest brunette. What
5:56
the fuck am I? Walnut brown,
5:58
caramel brown. You've got some. caramelly. Do I
6:00
have some caramel? I mean I also have some color
6:02
but I'll see. Imagine like having to describe your hair
6:04
as mousy. That's upsetting to me. I think of mousy
6:07
as a texture more than a color. I think of
6:09
it as like flat. Yeah. And light
6:12
brown. Yeah. Oh maple brown is kind
6:14
of nice. Maybe I'm maple brown. Oh
6:17
it sounds delicious. Can I be delicious?
6:19
Yeah. Sounds really yummy. And
6:21
there's a lot of um I think like preconceived notions
6:23
about people with brown hair. You know.
6:26
I don't know like I was really trying
6:28
to find like historically like where you know
6:30
I mean same thing when we did the
6:32
episode on blonde but like where
6:34
it came across like brunettes
6:36
were yeah intelligent sophisticated
6:39
yeah serious and why are blondes
6:41
the bimboes yeah justice for brunette
6:43
bimbos. We're out here babes. There
6:46
are brunette bimbos. Yeah you know. Yeah. And
6:49
I think that you know there was like
6:51
this study that was done of
6:53
like a scientific reason why men neither prefer brunettes
6:55
or blondes from Elite Daily. A
6:58
female test subject sat in a nightclub over the course of
7:00
several weeks changing her hair over the course of the weeks
7:02
and counting up like how many men approached her and
7:04
the subject was approached
7:06
by about 30% more men when they were blonde
7:09
but they had a follow-up study where they asked
7:11
men to say like which the same woman and
7:13
they said like who is more beautiful and they
7:15
said the men favored the brunette. Interesting.
7:18
I know. It's an interesting variable
7:21
or lack thereof that it's the same woman. Yeah.
7:23
Do you know what I mean? Because I almost feel
7:26
like there's other elements of her features that may or
7:28
may not work better with the hair colors. Yeah. To
7:30
an extent. Right. But it's funny to me that they
7:32
think that like oh she's more approachable when she's blondes.
7:35
You know. Yeah. But like a brunette is
7:37
serious. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
7:39
It's like gentlemen. Blondes also
7:42
gentlemen prefer blondes but the gentlemen
7:44
marry marry brunettes. Is that
7:46
the rest of that expression? Yeah. Yeah. So
7:48
they marry brunettes. Uh-huh. Yeah. Interesting. Which is
7:50
so fascinating to me because maybe I should
7:53
try being blonde because I'm still single as
7:55
a brunette. You know. Nothing's
7:57
worked so far. I guess they should use a
7:59
blonde and it was intense. I don't know that
8:01
we need that. I love the amber
8:04
tones. Sure. I like what you do with red. Thank you.
8:06
I like just red and brown. I like that fun. Yeah.
8:09
The thing you should know about me is
8:11
I like that fun. I didn't know that
8:13
about you. I don't know how I missed
8:15
that. And all of our years of friendship.
8:17
I was like, she's really a fucking downer.
8:19
She's serious. No, no capacity for a good
8:22
time. Also, John Millward, my
8:24
guy, he did the got the digging
8:26
deep, the inside look into the adult
8:28
film, internet adult film database. Yeah, he
8:30
likes, yeah, you know, went through all
8:32
this research. He found that 39.1% of
8:35
female performers have brown hair. 31
8:38
39. More than 32% blonde. Interesting.
8:40
More porn performers have brown hair.
8:42
Yeah, which is kind of crazy.
8:45
But yeah, so the idea like
8:47
he also like took what the
8:49
most like common foreign start
8:51
would be, you know, like, yeah, you sort of
8:53
made an avatar, like this is the day would
8:56
be brunettes. Yeah. And they would, they're, it would
8:58
have a B cup and their name would be
9:00
Nikki. Yeah. Yeah. Which
9:02
is so weird. Because it's not what you think.
9:04
Everyone's like it would be a massive, no, no,
9:06
no, no, no. Yeah. Gone are those days. The
9:09
name Nikki tracks though. Yeah. Well, that's what's funny
9:11
is my sister is a brunette named Nikki. Oh,
9:13
there you go. Yeah. Well, she's got a line
9:15
of work available to her. But yeah, but so
9:18
many like we all we always think I think,
9:20
you know, like 10 years ago, I think whenever
9:22
we thought of a form of former, we thought
9:24
of like Jenna Jamison. Yeah. You know, Yeah. And
9:27
it shifted to what Riley Reed.
9:29
Yeah, sure. Really? She's very famous. Also,
9:31
the who's the top brunette porn stars.
9:33
I made a lot of beautiful segue.
9:35
I didn't mean to. Well,
9:37
thank you for teeing it up. I
9:39
had Lana Rhodes, Angela white, Bella
9:42
danger, Violet Meyers, Lena
9:45
Paul, Emily Willis,
9:48
Autumn falls, Adriana Chechik, Danny
9:52
Daniels, Jonatior. I'm just like
9:54
naming all the most famous porn stars. Really? Great list.
9:56
Yeah. I like just being like, Oh,
9:58
yeah. And that's I will
10:00
thank you. Yes. So then I
10:02
also had to look at like male porn performers
10:04
too. In terms of this is all sourced from
10:07
porn hubs like top performers, top models, you know,
10:09
like in terms of popularity. So I went to
10:11
Guy and this is number one Jordy El Nino,
10:13
boya, classic. Classic brunette.
10:15
Followed by Owen Gray, who I
10:18
didn't think of him as a
10:20
brunette. But that's also a fine
10:22
line. That's another area where it gets he's sort of
10:24
a redhead because a lot of blonde
10:27
weirdly I find this with, well, I guess it's
10:29
true. He has ginger energy. Ginger
10:31
energy. Is he not a ginger? See,
10:34
I thought of him as like a dirty
10:36
blonde. Fascinating. Like I didn't think of him
10:38
as like red tones. I'm trying to get
10:40
this what pubes look like. Dark,
10:42
aren't they? They're sort of quite scary. Quite scary. Hard
10:45
to know. They're scarce, yeah, but I think they're sort of
10:47
gingery. Have I just like made
10:49
him a ginger in my head? I think so.
10:51
But I also know people who are convinced they're
10:53
like a friend of mine who I won't name
10:55
because they get weird. You're convinced
10:57
they're ginger? Yeah. I think other people in
10:59
his family are. Oh, so he's got like
11:01
ginger DNA. He does get like ginger specs
11:04
in his beard. Oh, sure. But he's fucking
11:06
blonde. Yeah. I mean, I have
11:08
a friend too that he's a red, that says he's a redhead and I'm
11:10
like, babe, no, you're not. But also sometimes people will be like, oh, I'm
11:12
not blonde. I have brown hair. And I'm like, your hair is
11:14
blonde. Like your hair is so much.
11:16
But I guess if we're getting into mousy, like,
11:18
I know that where blondes exist, the color spectrum,
11:21
I don't know all the words even. Well,
11:24
to me, he's the ginger. And
11:26
that's that makes him more attractive to you. You
11:28
want to hold on to that because he's special. Yeah.
11:31
Yeah. He's exotic because they're rare. Yes,
11:33
they are. I see. Yeah.
11:36
And also like, you know, he has a higher threshold for pain.
11:38
Do gingers have a higher threshold for pain? Isn't it true? Lower.
11:41
I thought the opposite was true. Oh, they're
11:43
they. Oh, really? Yeah. But
11:45
they need more anesthesia. Wait, that is
11:48
a thing. They need more anesthesia. Yeah. Like
11:50
the regular person. Yeah. Because
11:53
they're more sensitive to the pain. Oh, okay.
11:56
Okay. Maybe. Maybe.
12:00
I see in my head that I thought they were at
12:02
this whole time. I've just correlated those wrong. Yeah, I
12:04
thought that they were like, oh, they don't, they don't,
12:07
they don't hurt. They don't feel pain, but
12:09
they feel pain more intensely. No, it's, I
12:11
think it's kind of the opposite. And this
12:13
will just sound like a judgment, but more
12:15
like frail creatures, like, more prone
12:18
to like, more frail creatures.
12:20
There's like, like, worse immune
12:22
systems, like, like, inbred,
12:24
lower, you know, inbred. Yeah, of course.
12:27
No, I think it's something
12:29
to do with like the, you
12:31
know, the evolutionary line and like
12:34
it being like, it's almost because
12:36
they're rare that they, now
12:39
I just sound like I'm racist against
12:41
gingers, which I did grow up in Colorado.
12:43
If you've seen that South Park episode, it's
12:46
real. There's this
12:48
kind of this around gingers in Colorado and maybe
12:50
it's in me and I didn't mean to. Weirdly,
12:53
the episode is about brunettes. And here we are.
12:55
I'm just, well, what I'm doing is
12:57
I'm sneakily disparaging the other hair colors to boost my
12:59
own. You see? Okay,
13:02
some other popular brunette porn
13:05
stars. Antonio Mallorca,
13:07
Manuel Ferrara, Nacho
13:10
Vidal, Lucas Frost, Ramon
13:13
Nomar, Tyler Nixon, Seth
13:16
Gamble. Oh, delicious list. Great
13:20
list. You
13:22
know, we could just make the show listing porn
13:24
stars. Yeah, making sounds and reaction to them. But
13:26
then I feel bad when there's like one I
13:28
don't know. And I'm like, and also you and
13:31
also him. Okay. Fun
13:33
little fun little stats about brunette as a
13:35
search term. Okay. Because I couldn't really find
13:37
anything. I feel like
13:39
brunette is just like it just people just happen to
13:42
be brunette. I don't think people are really like searching
13:44
for it. Yeah, like they are like, I don't know.
13:46
I don't think brunettes are fetishized, I guess. Yeah,
13:48
I think people just happen to be brunettes.
13:51
Yes. Yes. Like the fun
13:53
is asynn moves more when it's like
13:55
culturally associated. Whereas like, yeah, I
13:57
don't know anyone who searches like blonde or brunette that
13:59
isn't like. a 17 year old
14:01
boy trying porn for the first time being like
14:03
my crush has this color hair Yeah, the way
14:06
that we all were like I'm this spice girl
14:08
because I that's my hair color They always made
14:10
me be sporty and I didn't want I was
14:12
also made to be sporty I wanted less order
14:14
than I am I wanted to be ginger. You're
14:17
a ginger. Yes, that makes utter sense
14:19
Thank you. You're gin. I I officially
14:22
command you do you I actually
14:24
don't know that's kind of the problem. Yeah,
14:27
like None of them.
14:29
Yeah, I'm not baby spy one. Well,
14:31
I'm not very sporty would have been
14:33
would be the like such a tomboy
14:35
Yeah, like they put her in such
14:37
a sporty category Yeah, I was like
14:39
can we fucking once give her
14:42
like a sexy blazer dress as opposed to a
14:44
tracksuit? Yeah, I have thought about scary. Yeah, but
14:46
also scary Like what do they do to her
14:48
like what do they mean scary spice? Like
14:50
that was problematic in its own way and like always
14:53
that we were like what is your person? But you
14:55
just have like a big personality like yeah that I'm
14:57
like sure maybe I'm like a combo of scary and
14:59
sporty Right, right, but both are kind of meaningless You
15:02
know, yes, you just slap a label on the other
15:04
and we're like wow Our
15:07
tiny little brains. Okay. Um, so back to the pornhub
15:09
stats. Yes, this is from the 2022 year in review
15:14
Mexicans are 81% more into Burnett when
15:16
compared to the rest of the world Brazilians
15:19
are 92% more likely to
15:21
view Burnett and then
15:23
visitors from Poland are 107%
15:26
more internet. Okay, really interesting I
15:30
thought we were going in like sort of a South America
15:32
Well, we were going in like a
15:34
viewing our own, right like culture
15:37
direction and then Poland Although it's
15:39
not like Poland is exclusively blonde people.
15:41
Yeah, that's true But it's interesting that
15:43
it's so much higher there like there
15:45
has to be some cultural element that
15:47
like, yeah Maybe they're like a brouette
15:49
is exotic, you know, maybe they're like
15:51
wow a spicy. Yeah, you know point
15:53
compared to You
15:55
know a very Christian blond. Mm-hmm.
15:58
Yeah, interesting Interesting.
16:02
I'm sorry, I'm still not over the fact that the
16:04
20% of the world's population has
16:06
brown hair. That feels wrong. I want you to
16:08
do a deeper dive. You know? I'm weirdly happy
16:10
to just forget that stat for the rest of
16:12
my life. I guess. Sure. I'm
16:14
just like looking at this room right now
16:17
and all three of us have 100% of
16:20
this room has brown hair. I think that part
16:22
of the challenge resides in the
16:25
difference between brown and black. Sure. Because I
16:27
think that is a Venn diagram you see.
16:29
Right. And a bit murky where like some
16:31
people with raven hair are considered brunette. Right.
16:34
And if we're saying this many people have black
16:36
hair. Yeah. Black is a quite
16:38
absolute concept. It is, yeah. You
16:40
know what I mean? So I don't, I'd be very curious
16:43
where they're drawing the line and where they're like, you get
16:45
to be on this side and you
16:47
get to be on this side. Like countries and
16:49
like Asia and you know. Yeah. I'm thinking about
16:51
many ethnicities and cultures and being like, what would
16:53
you call that? Yeah. You know?
16:55
Of course. And certainly I have Asian friends who are
16:57
like, my hair's brown. Yeah. Because it's like, you know, like
17:00
there's a spectrum there as well. Sure. Of
17:02
course. So who did the
17:04
study? Yes. Side questions. World
17:07
Atlas. It's a
17:09
study. That does sound
17:11
like a problematic textbook I read in third grade.
17:13
Yeah. Like it does sound like there are four
17:16
colors on there. There's a white man
17:18
holding the globe. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. And
17:20
he's supposed to represent God. Yeah. Or
17:23
at least we feel like he does. Because
17:25
it's going to definitely be patriarchal. Yeah. I
17:27
got like a white beard. Yeah. Should
17:29
we do the showdown? Let's do the showdown.
17:31
Okay. Hot brunette. Enjoy
17:34
giving a blowy and then hardcore
17:36
fucking. I haven't
17:38
used the term blowy. Blowy. Blowy
17:41
is, it's, I
17:43
dated a guy in high school briefly who hated the
17:46
word handy. Oh. Because he thought it was like juvenile.
17:48
Yeah. I think blowy kind of has a similar risk.
17:50
Well it sounds like a child's
17:52
TV show. Yeah. Because there is one
17:55
called blowy. But like, you know. So
17:57
it's just, it's a hair off. A brown hair.
18:00
hair off or
18:02
is it a bra is it a braving hair off? Blowy
18:05
and then hardcore fucking. Yeah, it
18:07
certainly doesn't sound sexy like blowy,
18:10
blowy and then hardcore fucking. They don't go, they
18:12
don't go hand in hand. No. Yeah,
18:15
yeah. They don't go handy in handy. Sexy
18:18
brunette whore gets double penetrated by
18:20
hot Latina blonde tranny and horny
18:22
dude nearby the swimming pool. Wow,
18:25
we got a lot of. A
18:27
lot happening. A lot of descriptors.
18:30
The problem is terminology in there. This
18:33
is verbatim. Blonde and brunette. Yeah. Dude.
18:36
Where there's a horny dude and there's
18:38
a Latina blonde trans person who
18:40
are double teaming this sexy brunette
18:43
whore. Yes. Blessed we forget.
18:45
Double teaming and double penetrating. So,
18:47
you know, when you remove the problematic labeling,
18:49
it actually sounds kind of hot. I'm
18:53
like, this is just a cool swimming
18:55
pool. Swimming pool side threesome, but with
18:57
some DP. Okay,
19:00
okay, I'm done talking about this one. Okay. I
19:03
close the book on it. Brunette
19:06
married guy take a gays cock.
19:13
Take a gays cock. Just take a gays cock.
19:15
You know what? Take a gays cock. We all
19:17
need to take a gays cock like once a
19:19
week. You know, here and there. How can you
19:21
say you've lived? You haven't taken a
19:24
gays cock. You know, gorgeous brunette
19:26
gets licked before rough fuck. Ooh.
19:29
Anal addicted. I kind
19:31
of liked that touch at the end. This honestly could be about me. Yeah,
19:33
honestly, it could be. I
19:36
see myself in this. Yeah. You know.
19:39
Anal addicted. That would be the name of your
19:41
channel. It would be. It's a good one. It's
19:43
good. Yeah, I'm subscribing. I already signed up. Peep-a-poop.
19:49
Wonderful brunette enjoying. That's
19:52
it. That's it. She's just enjoying.
19:54
What does it matter where she's enjoying? She's enjoying it.
19:56
Let her live. Let her have her pleasure. We don't
19:58
need to define it now. We don't
20:00
need to label it. She's just enjoying.
20:02
She's just enjoying. Similarly,
20:05
short and sweet, brunettes seduce
20:07
employer. Oh. This
20:09
kind of touches on the sophisticated idea. Like
20:12
I do think a lot of brunettes are more like, she's...
20:15
Or she has a job. She has a job. We
20:19
don't know what it is. As long as the
20:21
babysitter, the brunette is the secretary in the unfortunate
20:23
pantsuit for some reason. Yeah. We
20:25
don't know if it's well paying. We
20:28
don't know what kind of benefits she gets. Yeah. But
20:31
she has a job. Yeah. Okay.
20:34
Laugh out for me. Okay. Anal
20:36
sex, anal sex, brunette blowjob cumshot facial oral
20:38
sex hot. This is also
20:40
on your channel. Anal sex,
20:42
anal sex. I
20:44
mean, you know what I mean? Like, come on. Yeah.
20:48
It's a mantra practically. Anal sex,
20:50
anal sex, brunette blowjob cumshot facial
20:52
oral sex hot. It's a call
20:54
to action. It's active. What do
20:57
we want? Anal sex, anal sex.
21:00
This one for some reason really tickles me. I
21:04
fuck her her finally. Sexy brunette babe. I
21:07
fuck her her finally. I fuck her her finally.
21:09
I fuck her her finally. This
21:18
sounds like my European vacation. I
21:20
fuck her her finally. Two
21:24
days I chase her around the street. I fuck
21:26
her her finally. I have to fuck her ass.
21:29
Anal sex, anal sex. Thank
21:40
you to Aura for sponsoring this very special episode
21:42
of our show. So special. Jake,
21:44
you know that the holidays are about connecting with
21:47
loved ones. Of course. And there's no better way
21:49
to connect than by using what
21:51
Wirecutter called the best digital photo frame.
21:53
Yeah, you can connect with anyone from
21:55
any distance. This is a great gift.
21:58
You actually gave this gift to your mother.
22:00
Did you not not just my mother but
22:02
Jill's parents and Jill's grandmother So how does
22:04
it work you give them a digital picture
22:06
frame and then before long they plug it
22:08
in and they're seeing photos that you Took
22:10
yeah, you have access to their picture frame
22:13
I can upload any new photo that I take of
22:15
my daughter I can just pop it on my mom
22:17
and dad's frame and then you can send videos too
22:19
That's cute. And can you can you upload like a
22:22
little silly cheeky message like help? I'm trapped in I'm
22:24
trapped in the photo I
22:26
guess you could do that But I don't think anyone
22:28
would like it because it looks like kind of like
22:30
a weird cry for help They'd rather just see pictures of
22:32
love. Yeah, and they know you want to see me. That's
22:35
fair actually Yeah, okay So if that's
22:37
not personal enough You can even upload a
22:39
video message to play as soon as they
22:41
plug it in like I'm trapped in the
22:44
photo or whatever Whatever you want it to
22:46
say and this holiday season or as having
22:48
the best sale of the year listeners can
22:50
save on the perfect gift by visiting or
22:52
a frames calm that's a You
22:54
are a frame not calm. That's right.
22:56
And then use the promo code head
22:58
gum Oh to get $30 off
23:00
their best selling frames. Perfect So get
23:02
your frame before they sell out the
23:05
perfect gift for the perfect family member.
23:07
Yes terms and conditions obviously apply always
23:09
But again, that's aura frames a you
23:11
are a frames calm promo code head
23:13
gum to get $30 off
23:15
amazing. Thank you, Ora Welcome
23:19
to free use kitchen Is
23:21
the name of the first video we're gonna talk
23:24
about from say uncle Freeze
23:26
twink we found this on x hamster.
23:28
What a sight it
23:30
stars Dakota Lovell Jonah Wheeler and a
23:32
moon bane and You
23:35
know a little premise these three
23:38
Charming men are hanging out there.
23:40
They're chatting about their dinner. Yeah,
23:43
they're gonna make they just went to the
23:45
grocery store They've gotten anything that vaguely resembles
23:47
a dick and they're gonna grill it up.
23:49
They well, there's a lot of discussion about
23:51
whether or not it's real I wanted to
23:54
get right into like the thing that is
23:56
most impressive about this is
23:58
how much we managed to discuss the
24:00
meal that we're making. Like the
24:02
discussion of the size of the cucumber and
24:04
the best way to cut and grill a
24:06
cucumber. Like different ways. Like are
24:08
we gonna do a skewer? Like are we gonna
24:10
consider all of this? So he holds the eggplant
24:12
up to get a hold of the egg. He's
24:15
like, well they didn't have like full size eggplants.
24:17
I'm like babe, that's a full size eggplant. Like
24:19
they don't come bigger actually. That's it. Full
24:21
size is really funny. I know, I was like that's-
24:24
Like when is it full? If it's an eggplant, you
24:26
know. That's it, it doesn't get any bigger than that.
24:28
That's the eggplant. It's
24:30
a porn joke. Like the dick can always get bigger I
24:32
suppose. I was really dying and impressed
24:34
when I got around to like, and you know
24:36
like cucumber and tea sandwiches. Like they
24:38
were so like grasping at straws. They're like how
24:41
do we draw this fill? The presentation's not as
24:43
long as possible. Because it's like a 30 minute
24:45
video and it's free use. So obviously like they're
24:47
talking about their dinner and they just start whipping
24:49
their dicks out. And they're like jerking
24:52
off, getting hard. And
24:54
then Dakota starts chopping up the zucchini
24:56
while Amone starts fucking him. And I
24:58
was like okay, this is a little
25:01
dangerous. Yeah, slightly dangerous here.
25:03
Yeah, I guess we should clarify
25:05
like basically what's happening is where
25:07
the whole conversation continues. The
25:09
whole scene. So it's not just exposition or
25:11
like scene set up. No, they are talking
25:13
while they're- This isn't like ignoring slash free
25:15
use video where as soon as
25:18
they're just talking about whether they're gonna fry
25:20
or grill the cucumber. Somebody's like masturbating and
25:22
then they're fucking. But with
25:24
the most calm
25:27
collected- Again. No
25:29
reaction to the sex whatsoever. I know, this is
25:32
like, wow, these performers are really great. But
25:35
also at the same time I'm like, I did miss
25:37
the thing that I love about free use, which
25:39
is like the like, okay.
25:42
Yeah. This is a little hard
25:44
for me to concentrate. You know? I want the
25:47
fight. Yes, exactly. Show me the struggle. If you're
25:49
gonna, like the thing that's hot about like ignoring
25:51
style videos for me too is like, yeah, like
25:53
it's a little bit of that dubious consent. When's
25:56
the person be like, I'm just gonna go about
25:58
my past. Yeah. Yeah. It's
26:01
fine. Yes, we can continue. Right. But
26:04
I think that's fine. That's hot. Yeah. This
26:07
is a whole different thing. I know. Like
26:09
they're fully just like having the most
26:11
boring conversation and like having cut a
26:13
very casually fucking each other. Yeah. Which
26:16
is, I mean, there were moments obviously that were hot to me, but
26:19
I was just like, wow, I would have loved just like a little bit
26:21
of like, wow, this is hard for me to concentrate
26:24
or like, you know, yeah. I wonder if
26:26
there's a longer version where I get there.
26:28
There must be. The
26:30
first time Jonah Wheeler also looks
26:33
so much like my friend and
26:35
the end of your family. Sounds like my
26:37
friend. It looks like my friend Matt and like literally looks like
26:39
him. Sounds like him. I was like
26:41
this. I'm watching. I'm watching that. Right
26:44
now. Because I feel like if
26:46
I was going to cast this, yeah, it's
26:48
Cola Scola, Anthony
26:50
Ramos. And then
26:52
I didn't quite have someone for Jonah.
26:55
Well, it's my friend Matt. It's different. Matt.
26:58
That's perfect. You're friend Matt's
27:00
quite attractive. Yeah, I know he's hot. He has
27:02
like a mustache, sort of young daddy vibe.
27:06
He's exactly this person. He does feel like a young dad
27:08
in his tone in this. He's like, well, the thing is
27:10
you can take him out back. I know. And
27:12
you get a nice brown on him. Exactly. Yeah.
27:15
Oh, just put it in me, daddy. And
27:17
he's like in the middle of like second day. He's like, no, that's
27:19
not true. He's like, no, no, no. When you
27:22
when you things get smaller when they're colder. But if
27:24
they if they did get smaller, then like, why would
27:26
they refrigerate vegetables when you go to the grocery store?
27:28
You know, and then he like puts the dick back
27:30
in his mouth. I was like, wow, fascinating. Is that
27:33
also a fact? Wait, what did he say? He was
27:35
like, well, don't like a moment was like, oh, don't
27:37
things get like smaller when they get colder? Like, why
27:39
would you wash it with cold water? We're
27:42
talking about the vegetables. He was like, shouldn't
27:44
you wash it with warm water? He's like, if that was the case, why
27:47
would we put them in like
27:49
refrigerated aisles in the, you
27:51
know, and then we wouldn't want to shrink
27:54
our vegetables. Yeah. The only thing
27:56
I can think of to pretend there's science
27:58
that I'm aware of here. I
28:00
mean the science exists. I just don't know what I'm talking
28:02
about. Of course, but you know that like snow when it
28:04
shrinks down Takes up less space like
28:06
if you have like a bowl of snow and it's like
28:08
piled out the top of the bowl What it melts into
28:10
water is like half the ball Ice
28:14
is bigger than water But
28:18
I mean things when you get the black bowl
28:20
of snow in Michigan I
28:22
thought we had everything in common with
28:24
our state when things get cold they
28:26
shrink like your body Yeah, and
28:29
like your body. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah so
28:32
that's what you When
28:34
it comes to vegetables, I think he was trying to relate
28:36
to the fact about like there were I think everything Shrink
28:43
when they get cold, you know wink
28:45
wink they contract them Yeah Anyways,
28:47
of course, I found this hot because it was
28:49
men fucking each other and there was a train
28:51
at the end I know. Yeah, I'm into this.
28:53
Yeah, but I would have really appreciate a little
28:56
bit more just Just passion some enthusiasm.
28:58
Yeah, I love that if they want to be
29:00
here, right? I was like, oh wow I'm actually
29:02
this is sort of hard to like talk
29:05
about the thing we're talking about. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah Yeah,
29:08
I always want that in my for use
29:10
ignoring. Yeah, but definitely if we
29:12
consider all of these brunettes Yes, all quite
29:14
attractive check the box all quite representative of
29:16
the convention I like that we looked at
29:18
like cuz like of course we could have
29:20
just done like I don't know like a
29:23
lot of roads Whatever. Yeah, check something. I
29:25
was like, let's talk about some gay male
29:27
performer. I love that Yeah, and mixing it
29:29
up and speaking of mixing it up. Yes.
29:31
The next one we want to talk about
29:33
features a Wonderful trans performer.
29:35
I wasn't aware of Daisy.
29:38
Oh, no, no Daisy Taylor. Yeah before
29:40
this. Yeah, I mean either I just
29:42
know like when I think of like
29:44
a brunette like very popular. I mean,
29:46
obviously Natalie Mars. Mm-hmm incredible Yeah, former
29:49
but yeah always nice to diversify our
29:51
portfolio Yes, made a new performer. I
29:53
love what it happened. Yeah, and she's
29:55
gorgeous and really Sweet.
29:58
Yeah, and it was a really Like
30:00
really striking and endearing
30:02
like charismatic performance style. She's got
30:04
like this cute little pixie cut.
30:07
Mm-hmm. And it's a true like
30:09
POV. Yeah. Like waking
30:11
up next to her like oh, you don't remember
30:13
last night. She's on like a belly and like
30:15
curled up. Yeah. Like the angling
30:17
on it is really well done. Yeah,
30:20
it was very intimate. Very intimate. Her
30:22
performance is very like, like
30:24
yeah, it's really captivating. Yeah. Like hey, like last
30:26
night was really fun. Yeah. Like very believable. Yeah.
30:29
Like felt intimate. And she was like, do you know,
30:31
like I could make us breakfast. Like what do you
30:33
plan for today? You know, and then like our POV
30:36
guy starts like playing with her. Yeah. And
30:38
then it gets into some sex. Yeah. It
30:41
also did some like interesting things with like,
30:43
because we've talked about in our trans
30:45
episode way back. Yeah. First talked about like
30:47
the surprise. Oh, sure. They're like the
30:50
sort of how in transport when we're dealing
30:52
with someone with a dick, it's often like,
30:55
aha. Gotcha. Gotcha. Yeah. Like in a problematic
30:57
way. There was a slight moment. There was
30:59
a little, I think what it was doing
31:01
was it was borrowing that trope,
31:04
but slightly modifying it. Yeah. Where we
31:06
just kind of like, she
31:08
just kind of discreetly sits up and like her cock
31:10
kind of just like rolls out onto her leg. Yeah.
31:12
The camera sort of like pans down. And she's just
31:14
kind of like looking at this camera like clocks that
31:16
comes up and then just like reaches right for it.
31:18
Yeah. And just starts like playing. And
31:20
I think it was like, that was kind
31:22
of hot to me because it was like part
31:25
of the, we shouldn't say in part of the premise is that the guy
31:28
and bed with her doesn't remember
31:30
what happened. Yeah. Yeah. Or remember her name.
31:32
Some of that like surprise, surprise. Like she's
31:34
like, nice to meet you. Like you guys
31:36
have that surprise element. Yeah. But him just
31:39
like going for it was like hot.
31:41
Like she kind of owned it. She was like, you remember
31:43
this is like kind of what she might have said. And
31:46
then he like him just being like immediately into
31:49
it and wanting to like play with her cock
31:51
and make her feel good. Felt
31:53
different than like some of this Christ stuff
31:56
we see where it's like aha or it's
31:58
like, oh, gross. Yeah, or
32:00
like you're gay now. Yeah. Oh, well, I guess
32:02
I have to suck this day You know like
32:04
there's like the dubious consent version of it. So
32:06
I thought that was kind of
32:08
clever. I did too Like it's not all together.
32:10
No great Like it's
32:12
not necessarily like totally inclusive because
32:14
it is kind of it's definitely still like
32:17
objectifying It's still kind of fetishizing her it
32:19
is porn after all of course, but it's
32:21
like it's the way that it's sort of
32:23
Harnessing that fetishization seems really conscious
32:25
like he is intentional in a
32:28
way that's smart Yeah, and that
32:30
probably is really effective and
32:32
like drawing an audience. Yeah, and then Davey
32:34
Taylor from what we know is like does
32:36
quite well Yeah, yeah, no really hot vid.
32:39
I also really love I mean I
32:41
love watching You know like I'm a big
32:43
fan of like Aubrey Kate as a
32:45
performer and I love anytime But
32:47
like no one sex organs are ignored,
32:49
you know, like they are used. Yeah,
32:52
everyone's pleasure is involved We also have
32:54
talks together which I weirdly become something
32:56
that really I really love Yeah, a
32:58
lot of time to like you have
33:00
like to hand like double dick hand
33:02
job Really sensual
33:05
also. Yeah, like really like
33:08
the blowjob involved like kissing and
33:10
licking and like eye contact Like
33:12
it was a very intimate. Yeah,
33:14
my favorite part Yeah after like
33:17
we come yeah the person and then Daisy comes.
33:19
Mm-hmm. We go in the shower with her Yeah,
33:21
which I really love. Yeah, we go in the
33:23
shower and then it's like we clean up and
33:26
then it's like, okay And then she like walks
33:28
us to the door and it's like, okay.
33:30
Well, it's really fun Like are you gonna miss
33:32
me, you know? Yeah, it was very sweet Like
33:34
it was like it felt like you know, yeah
33:37
what actually happens like in the morning after like
33:39
a hookup nice one Yeah,
33:41
not most Yeah,
33:43
yeah. No, I loved it. I thought I mean there
33:45
were definitely moments obvious like I was you know
33:47
turned on by this video Yeah, I was so
33:50
I really liked it and I thought that like
33:52
there was something kind of like sweet and like
33:54
girlish about Daisy that I really liked, you know
33:58
Like yeah, I yeah Yeah.
34:00
I was really endeared to her.
34:02
Yeah, me too. She was beautiful
34:05
and just a really strong performer,
34:07
like a really believable, natural
34:10
performance and just like a great
34:12
fuck to watch, you know, like all
34:15
of that. Like, yeah, really striking. I
34:17
was like, what's going on? I
34:19
know. Both of these videos did turn me
34:21
on. I will, you know, guilty. Guilty.
34:25
Yeah, I think I like Dix and
34:27
I like Burnett. So, hey, Sue
34:29
me. Taking all those boxes. Yeah, I
34:31
think Daisy more than our free use,
34:33
just because the free use
34:37
was like so flat, like it was so like
34:39
amusing. Like I was just in a different headspace.
34:41
Right. Like occasionally I'd be like, oh, this is
34:43
kind of hot. Like we're just watching Blowjob, but then
34:45
I'd just be laughing at those moments you're
34:47
talking about of like, oh, that's
34:50
not true. Yeah. I
34:53
was like, it was like an amazing sketch more
34:55
than it was like porn to me. Yes. Yes.
34:58
But they definitely, definitely turned me on. Yeah, it was a
35:00
cool vid. Well, hey, thanks so
35:03
much for listening. Girls on Porn, you can find us
35:05
on our Instagram and TikTok at Girls on Porn. That's
35:07
porn without the O. On
35:09
our YouTube, youtube.com/at Girls on
35:11
Porn. On our website, girlsonporn.com
35:13
and also on our Patreon,
35:16
patreon.com/girls on porn. Don't forget
35:18
to rate, review and subscribe if you haven't already.
35:20
And if you want to leave us a cheeky
35:22
little five star review, it means the world to
35:24
us because we get a lot of anonymous one
35:26
stars from folks who just generally object to what
35:28
we do here. So the five star review goes
35:30
a long way. If you want
35:32
us to thank you, you can always include your
35:35
Instagram handle. This has been Girls on Porn, the
35:37
only GOP that's actually Eddie Gage.
Podchaser is the ultimate destination for podcast data, search, and discovery. Learn More