0:01

This is a head game podcast.

0:05

Thursday, Thursday, Thursday, October

0:07

twentieth in New York City at nine thirty

0:09

PM eastern. Girls on porn

0:11

is saying fuck it and doing it

0:14

live. That's right, Laura and I are getting

0:16

up close and personal and hosting pod from

0:18

caveat on the lower east side. We're all gonna

0:20

huddle into a room together and watch porn

0:23

just like when we were teenagers. But

0:25

don't worry, it's barely in our rated show. Like,

0:27

we're watching some adult content, but only little

0:29

clips. Clips only as long as you can hold

0:31

your breath and see if your date is storming out. There

0:33

will be games and prizes, lots

0:35

of laughs, and honestly a lot of really attractive

0:38

people. Our fan base is really attractive.

0:40

And what's a better me cute? Then, oh, we met in

0:42

a basement on the lower east side watching porn together.

0:44

You can find tickets on our website, girls on

0:46

porn dot com, or in the link

0:48

in bio at girls on perm on

0:51

Instagram. And if you're not in New York, don't

0:53

worry. You can watch via livestream. Get

0:55

your tickets now at girls on porn dot com.

0:57

Welcome to girls on porn.

0:59

I'm Rachel. I'm Laura, and

1:01

we love porn. This is

1:03

our porn review podcast. We

1:06

talk about what we love we roast what we hate.

1:08

Helping you find hot ethical,

1:11

just plain butter porn for your

1:12

bank bank. And we're looking

1:15

at a thing. Before

1:21

we introduce the topic, we have a gorgeous

1:23

little segment for you today.

1:26

Sixty nine seconds of sex.

1:30

We've pulled headlines from the news

1:32

to keep you informed and horny. Here

1:35

we go. Digital

1:37

flashing is still flashing. Law

1:40

s p fifty three, which prohibits sending

1:42

explicit photos without consent has

1:44

passed in California. The sender

1:46

could incur fines of up to thirty thousand dollars

1:49

for anyone over eighteen years old. Consent

1:51

is king, queen, and everything in between.

1:53

Only some pics of your hot pod to a willing participant.

1:57

There's a new dating app on the market called Meet

1:59

where women are paid to talk to men.

2:01

Meat, spelled with an extra e on the end, looks

2:03

like normal dating app with profiles and likes

2:05

sent to the people of your choice. While the

2:08

app is free for women to use, men

2:10

have to purchase gems in order to

2:12

match and message ladies. According

2:14

to vice, depending on how consistent popular

2:16

you are in the app. Women can convert

2:19

these points into cold, hard cash,

2:21

transferable directly to their bank account.

2:23

The more women interact with people on the app

2:25

through calls, message and voice notes,

2:26

the more points they receive. I've

2:29

been waiting for the day I get paid for small

2:31

talk.

2:32

And in another corner of the Internet, there is

2:34

a web site where you can leave reviews of ex

2:36

boyfriends. Tracy Tigan created

2:38

a website called the ex boyfriend's list, which

2:40

has been dubbed the TripAdvisor for Exs.

2:43

This

2:43

space was created as a place for women to vent

2:45

about their relationship woes and warn others

2:47

about the dirty dogs who have cheated stolen

2:49

money or are just bad in that.

2:52

This is very helpful for venting, but I'd also

2:54

love a site where women can rate their gently used x's

2:56

who were nice, but the timing just wasn't right.

2:59

Taking conscious uncoupling one step

3:02

further, a Tucson went viral on TikTok

3:04

after going on a breakup vacation. The

3:06

video features Piper Riley and her soon to

3:08

be ex holding hands under text where

3:10

she wrote, me and my boyfriend are breaking up in

3:12

two weeks. We went on a beautiful breakup weekend

3:14

getaway. We cuddled in the spot reminiscing.

3:17

We talked about all of our fears, our plans for

3:19

healing, and what we hope for our futures. Sounds

3:21

massively mature. I'm wondering if they also

3:23

had some weeping and or epic

3:24

goodbye sex or maybe just some

3:26

little dry album.

3:32

I

3:32

see what you did there. Dry

3:35

humping. Dry humping.

3:38

dry humping. I was excited to

3:40

do this

3:41

topic -- Uh-huh. -- because I'm just gonna

3:43

come out of the gate. gonna say it. I'm a

3:45

fan of dryumping. You're a dry humper.

3:48

It does not get the credit. It deserves. You

3:50

know? It needs better branding. Right?

3:52

Yeah. Like, like, dry humping? Yes.

3:55

makes it sound some

3:58

kind of way, you know.

3:59

It makes it sound so bad. It makes it sound

4:01

straight at. It makes it sound lame.

4:03

Well, because there is there are not

4:05

to imply the big sewers. Like, no. No. It

4:07

just what do you hear dry and sex?

4:10

Yeah. it sort of automatically connotates

4:14

not Well, you know, like not

4:16

sex. That's funny. Why is kind

4:18

of like co opted by the church? Right? By

4:20

the Christians? Oh, I feel like because

4:22

it was like, this is a great way to abstain

4:24

from sex. You know? Yeah.

4:26

I mean, I love how they come around on

4:28

that. You know what I mean? They're like, okay, fine.

4:30

You can dry help. You know? Like,

4:32

in this era, it's like, this is a great way

4:34

to avoid sex. I'm like, right isn't

4:37

because it just makes you wanna fuck. Yeah.

4:39

And there's an argument to be made that, like,

4:41

dry humping is better than sex, particularly

4:43

for someone who doesn't have experience with sex. be

4:45

like, oh, this is hot. My quits getting stimulated.

4:47

Right. And then you have sex and you're like, wait a

4:49

minute. What happened? Whatever for my quits. Yeah.

4:53

That is what it was like for me losing my

4:55

virginity. I was like, wait.

4:57

Mhmm. The important part wasn't touched,

4:59

you know. Yeah. How come this is

5:01

different? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I

5:04

love a dry home. Who do I love a

5:06

dry home? And I think it's different

5:07

to me than

5:10

tripping because there is

5:13

dry humping for me is anticipation.

5:16

Interesting. Yeah. I mean, we we

5:18

land in this place a lot. Like, Weird

5:20

event diagram. Yeah. Like, it

5:22

does feel like dry humping is

5:25

a type of trimming.

5:27

Yeah. I think that's fair to say. and

5:30

since the straight person's --

5:32

Yeah. -- trip. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. Yes.

5:34

It feels head around obviously,

5:36

also the queer person's trip. But I

5:38

think we all associate it with, like, teenage

5:42

resistance and tension. Yeah.

5:44

Is that the origin story of a lot of our

5:46

early experiences with dry humping. And,

5:49

yeah, at that time, it was like, I don't know. I

5:51

guess you said a different thing just now than you

5:53

that it's in anticipation that

5:55

it's Yeah. Like, I don't Maybe in a bigger

5:57

way. Like, years from now, I'll have sex

5:59

as opposed

5:59

to, like, minutes from now, I'll have sex. Well,

6:02

yes and no. For me, tripping

6:05

feels like it could be the sex act.

6:07

I see what you're saying. Which dry

6:10

humping feels like foreplay. Uh-huh.

6:12

But, I mean, that's also not true because we'll talk

6:14

about this in a video. But so, I mean, I guess, they're

6:16

one in the same. Yeah. Just different types

6:18

of things. I mean, serving Tripping,

6:20

I think, can be awesome. Tripping can be

6:22

what? Tripping can be what? Yeah. Tripping

6:25

can be well, here's the difference as dry humping

6:27

implies close. Like, think that's always the

6:29

case where it's tripping. Exactly. You

6:31

can have your holy foundation clip

6:33

on something. We found it. We figured out the

6:35

difference. We found it. because I yeah.

6:37

I would say that, like, tripping can absolutely be foreplay

6:40

or a whole act sex

6:42

act and dry humping

6:44

I

6:45

think you're right that, like -- Yeah. -- it's

6:47

rarely the whole sex act. Although we haven't even

6:49

talked about the fact that dry humping is how a lot

6:51

of people discover or start masturbating or

6:53

continue to masturbate, that that is -- Right. -- a

6:55

style of masturbation as well. Lots

6:57

of stuffed animals, lots of pillows,

7:00

couched arms. Yes. It's clipped

7:02

jeans. But like -- Yes. -- yes, my

7:04

own jeans. We didn't have the

7:06

same middle school class or

7:07

a board, like, uh-oh. Yeah. I know

7:10

you're saying yep. Yeah. Yeah. Uh-huh. I know what you're

7:12

saying. Yeah. It's like about

7:14

pressure on your private parts.

7:16

Yeah. We nailed it.

7:19

It's up fresh on your private parts.

7:22

But but, like, no wet

7:24

no wet genitalia and dry something.

7:27

Yeah. Then it becomes something else. It's funny

7:29

when I was doing my own research for dry humping.

7:31

I like a lot. It's still so sad.

7:33

It makes me so sad about, like, the sex education

7:35

of in our country because it was like the first

7:37

things that were popping up were like, can

7:39

you get pregnant from dry humping?

7:41

Like, how long does Steven stay

7:43

alive on clothing? You know?

7:46

Oh my god. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

7:48

Yeah. These poor people just

7:50

I know. chosen on jeans and rise

7:52

and sleep over it. It's so sad.

7:54

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

7:57

But do you like to dry hump? I love

7:59

dry hump. I

7:59

love to

8:00

dry hump. Similarly, to

8:02

you, I think. I'm like, let's not

8:04

skip over this fun bit, you know.

8:07

Sometimes it can be like, you know,

8:09

sometimes I'll get impatient and be like,

8:11

let's go. You know? Like, let's move

8:13

on. But it's

8:15

hot. It's fucking hot. Yeah. stimulus.

8:17

I love the build up. I love just

8:19

like grinding on somebody and getting excited

8:22

about them. But I I will say that I use it

8:24

exclusively as foreplay. I don't masturbate

8:26

that way. Yes, I And I kind of I

8:28

I never masturbated to climax

8:30

dry humping as a kid.

8:32

Me

8:33

neither. If I didn't think it was just, like, there's a

8:35

feeling done there. It was very early days.

8:37

you know? I just I

8:39

would I would suggest to

8:42

all of our listeners to maybe just,

8:44

like, try some dry humping and because

8:46

it's like it also the anticipation

8:48

of, like, getting to the actual, like,

8:50

penetration or whatever is

8:52

could be so I mean, it's like edging.

8:55

You know? Yeah. I'm in

8:57

support of being a little

8:59

prude these days, actually.

9:02

I see. I see. Yeah. I I almost

9:04

can I rebrand what you've said? Can I put

9:06

words in your mouth? Okay. If they're

9:08

good ones. because, like, you're not prude.

9:10

Come on. Like, doesn't get that? here's

9:12

what I'll say about it is that anticipation is

9:14

fucking hot. Is that, like, delaying

9:16

the thing is actually sexier than being,

9:18

like, let's just get to the dick in

9:20

China or, like, you know, whatever

9:22

the event is. Talk about your

9:24

case, obviously.

9:25

For making myself wait, like,

9:27

three, four, stoop sessions,

9:30

you know. You gotta do a

9:32

few stoop make outs -- Yeah. -- or

9:34

you get to the dry house. Yeah. Yeah. No.

9:36

Even, like, I mean, I'm dry humping on the

9:38

stoop. I don't care for everyone to see. But

9:40

yeah, I think it's like, you know,

9:42

it's just

9:42

kinda nice sometimes to be like actually I'm

9:45

gonna make this person wait and

9:47

really want it. it's delightful. It's

9:49

it's delicious.

9:50

Yeah. In favor of dry

9:53

humping. Yeah. I'm a dry hunk

9:55

advocate. Yeah. I also I mean, I even like to,

9:57

like, act truly humped. Like, I'm

9:59

not, like, rubbing. Like, I'm, like, bang

10:01

into me. I'd

10:04

now wanna know exactly which kind of humping

10:06

you mean. because there's grinding, which

10:08

-- There's grinding is really hot. -- sec

10:11

simulation that feels like it

10:13

creates a lot of simulation. Are you, like,

10:15

bouncing out of the deck? Like, what are you saying

10:17

when I mean, like, you know, like, press

10:19

into me? Like, yeah. Well, the

10:21

pressure is very important. I don't know

10:23

what I need. Like, I need to get, like Yeah.

10:25

Yeah. Like, I don't know that I need rhythmic

10:27

pumping so much is

10:29

I just want you to, like, press

10:31

into me, like, you your life depends on

10:33

it. You know? And also, if you're, like,

10:35

oh, the size of

10:37

what this person has. Oh,

10:39

yeah. You know? Yes. Yeah. If we're talking

10:41

about grinding it through this, you know.

10:43

Yeah. That, like, a a boner through a

10:45

pair of pants can be a great time. oh, I love a

10:47

boner through a pair of pants. Yeah.

10:49

It just feels you're so proud. You're like,

10:51

oh, I did that.

10:52

Yeah. You know?

10:54

Yeah. I made this. one

10:56

of my friends I'm presenting it to the

10:58

judge's panel, the gray finish bake off.

11:00

This is mine. I hate this.

11:02

This is mine. I'm proud of

11:04

my bake. Thank you very much. My

11:06

my very good friend who is a

11:08

mother of two and currently separating

11:10

from her partner just said a thing

11:12

kind of casually when we were high where she was

11:14

like, I just fear that I'll

11:17

never feel a rock hard cock through a

11:19

pair of jeans ever again. And

11:21

I was, like, first of all, don't

11:23

worry. Yeah. You're about to be

11:25

single. Yeah. Like, second of

11:27

all, It's okay. You

11:30

know, there are better

11:32

things. But you will, and it's okay. You

11:34

will. A hundred percent. Yeah. That's a hundred

11:36

percent. I have some other names

11:38

for dry humping. Oh, I love this.

11:40

Thanks. Given to me. Yeah. Okay.

11:42

Frodeage. Oh, yes.

11:45

Yes. Big in the UK. I always forget

11:47

about that one. I think that one

11:49

I love it and it sounds

11:52

unappetizing. It does. Like, sounds like cottage

11:55

cheese. Yeah. You nailed it.

11:57

That's exactly what it sounds like. Yeah. Like, it sounds

11:59

like a food that I'm on the fence about.

12:01

you know, like, it sounds like an obligatory

12:03

food. Although, I eat the shit out of the pillows.

12:05

I know. It's gonna be, like, the Urals

12:07

would love a cottage cheese. I eat cottage

12:09

cheese. Yeah. with cottage cheese.

12:12

No problem. I have no problem with

12:14

cottage cheese. Okay? I have no

12:16

problem with cottage cheese either.

12:18

Okay. That's when I

12:20

cream my jeans because I'm dry holding.

12:22

I'm just

12:25

gonna say it.

12:25

That's like

12:27

when you your panties could show,

12:29

like, you think it's snap in half

12:31

afterwards. I'm always

12:33

like there's nothing worse like,

12:35

after, like, looking up with someone, you

12:36

try to find your underwear, and you your underwear, you

12:39

put it back on. They're really, like,

12:40

stuck together, stuck

12:42

to themselves. Yeah. Like, I guess, I'm just

12:44

gonna pop -- Yeah. -- crack them open like

12:46

a fire glow stick. I found a dirty

12:48

pair of underwear and a pair of in those

12:50

shoes that I'm gonna wear for our live

12:52

show. I was oh, maybe these and there were dirty

12:54

underwear stuff for them, presumably from my, like,

12:56

packed up in a hurry at one point

12:58

someone. So who knows how long that underwear

13:00

had been in there? It was a humbling

13:02

moment. It was a tough moment. Still

13:04

not sure if I get a trash those underwear.

13:06

Yeah. I'm I'm trying washing them, but I have

13:08

little faith. You know, I just It's like at that

13:10

point, they're like fossilized. you know.

13:12

Exactly. I have, like, petrified

13:15

Badgoo in

13:15

my underwear right now. Petrified.

13:18

Over centuries. Petrified.

13:22

jeez. So

13:23

sick. I've

13:24

never felt more attractive than this

13:27

moment. I know.

13:28

So, basing people wanna have sex with

13:30

us. who the

13:30

DM's are gonna be on fire this week?

13:32

I'm actually sorry. I'm I'm

13:35

assuming a lot actually and I don't know

13:37

if anyone I'm assuming people

13:39

want to. don't know.

13:41

Wanna have sex with us? Yeah. I

13:43

mean, you know Yeah. I do alright. Okay.

13:47

I mean, this conversation I don't

13:49

know. I feel like it could go either way. I

13:51

don't Either

13:52

my stock is rising right now for all the

13:54

fraud at cheese fans or, like, I am

13:56

losing I'm falling off,

13:58

you know. Nineteen thirty nine.

14:00

This is the crash.

14:02

this great crash. The great sausage

14:04

cheese crash of twenty twenty two.

14:07

What's the topic

14:10

today again? Okay.

14:12

Dry

14:13

sex is a

14:15

name for dry hump. Oh, yeah.

14:17

Mhmm. -- outdoor course. which I

14:19

don't have course, I like. It's outer course.

14:21

I like. It's funny. It's obvious, you

14:23

know. Like, if there's intercourse, it implies

14:25

the

14:25

existence of outer course. Right. Right.

14:28

Which Yeah. I'm I'm in Although,

14:28

I guess, inter just means

14:31

between as opposed to

14:33

intercourse. It's not, you know,

14:35

inter like, but there's no

14:37

equivalent -- Yeah. -- whatever. I like outer course.

14:39

Let's not overthink it. What's the next

14:41

one? Grymeeting. That's

14:43

all I got. Bumpy grinds. Great

14:45

lists.

14:45

some other fun facts, dry

14:49

humping is a hundred and for the year

14:51

twenty twenty one, dry humping is a porn

14:53

search term was up a hundred and ninety

14:55

percent in Canada. Canada, big

14:57

year for dry humping in Canada. Yeah.

14:59

Interesting. Big continent. So Yeah.

15:02

Isn't it how do we

15:04

even It's a country. k? It's a

15:06

country. Thank you. Did you

15:08

do this shit to me all the time?

15:10

I know. I'm glad that you caught me on

15:12

that. That's a good call. Also

15:14

Mindy Kaling advocates. For dry

15:16

humping, she in her

15:18

book talked about how actors

15:20

are all lying when they say, like, on

15:23

screen, like, sex scenes are uncomfortable. It's like

15:25

you get to, like, dry hump with

15:27

someone really hot. Yeah. I mean, I

15:29

think it obviously depends on the circumstances and

15:31

the person. You know, like, course.

15:33

Sometimes you're like and, like, I think the thing

15:35

that actors bitch about, I'm sure you

15:37

can relate to is just the awkwardness of

15:39

it being potentially hot but not

15:41

hot and -- Right. -- you've got to suck out

15:43

of bed. Damn if you don't.

15:45

You know? Yeah. But yeah. Certainly,

15:47

I've, like, had some sex scenes that have been very hot

15:49

and have been, like, uh-oh. I'm gonna talk

15:51

really quickly about a sex scene on TV show that I

15:54

recently watched that I really liked. Oh.

15:56

American Jigalow. Have you been

15:58

watching? I watched the pilot. I

16:00

haven't watched much past that. Is it in the

16:01

what episode are we talking? I think it's

16:04

the

16:04

most recent one, the fourth episode.

16:06

don't know. I'm watching it. I have a lot of problems with it because

16:08

it's like, you know, it's sensationalized

16:10

with sex work and -- Yeah. --

16:12

sex traffic a king and kind of

16:14

inslates them and inslates the two in

16:16

a way that Yeah. I I felt a little

16:18

dicey about it. Yeah. And also, like, someone

16:20

who received sexual abuse as a

16:22

child makes them as

16:24

sex worker. You know? Right. Right. Right.

16:25

Like, this is the obvious path.

16:28

Yeah. But, like, listen, this so sad, this poor

16:30

guy. You know? Like, what

16:30

if he just likes sex? Anyways,

16:32

there is a really good sex scene,

16:35

and John Birdell's really hot. He's

16:37

great. I've heard he's the nicest

16:39

guy. Yeah. He's so

16:41

fucking hot. He's got a great

16:43

body in the show and yeah.

16:44

I jerked off to the scene, whatever. Great.

16:46

Anyway, should we do the show down?

16:48

Frontage cheese, for John

16:50

Bernthal. Yeah. Let's do the showdown.

16:53

Yeah. When

16:55

you're nineteen single and

16:57

super horny, the coffee table

16:59

never lets you down. The

17:03

coffee table. I know. Oh,

17:05

god. Like, at least the

17:07

armchair made I was literally gonna say, at least, like, the arm

17:09

of a a lounger or a

17:11

couch. You know? Yeah. A little

17:13

bit of a cushion.

17:16

Yeah.

17:16

But I guess a coffee table because if you're like I

17:18

mean, it's solid. Like, it's that rock

17:20

hard coke simulation, I suppose. And

17:22

if you're sitting on the ground, it's

17:24

like right there. you know,

17:27

it's right there or the leg. And the

17:29

victorians did have an issue with

17:31

-- Yeah. -- people like something

17:33

taboo about it.

17:34

a they around Yeah.

17:37

Now that's

17:37

what I call humps volume

17:40

one, humping compilation. Oh,

17:43

my humps. My home's. My home's. My

17:45

home. It's it's also obviously a

17:47

little parody of, like, now that's what I call music.

17:49

You see that recording? Yeah.

17:51

Love it. I did get that. Okay. girl

17:53

teasing old man with her juicy

17:56

pussy.

17:56

Some about

17:58

you know, this whole episode we've been talking about how

17:59

dry sounds not sexy. But, like, a juicy

18:02

pussy -- Yeah. -- has

18:04

never it sounds like in the same world

18:06

as sausage cheese. Right. I'm, like, ringing out

18:08

the pussy and it's dripping at

18:10

me. drip drip. Doesn't make it sound

18:13

appetizing as much as I love a web

18:15

pussy, you

18:15

know. Yeah. Yeah. It's gonna be hard kinda

18:17

hard to get something back to being appetizing.

18:20

in this show we've already gone

18:22

so far in the

18:22

other direction. We've really gone oiled

18:25

our appetites. Please. Oiled the

18:28

cheese. So just

18:31

two horny ladies and ankle socks,

18:33

figurine and fondling

18:35

breasts.

18:36

And do know that

18:39

that's fixturing, fixturing.

18:41

There's no end. No. We're fig we're

18:43

figuring we're fixturing and fondling

18:45

breasts. Yeah. But we're not spelling

18:47

anything correct? Correct. And we're not figging

18:49

because that's something different. That's

18:51

something different. Yeah. My

18:53

turn, those pussy's

18:55

needed to come in three fit

18:57

in. How many pussies?

18:59

I don't know. It's a lot of pressure and

19:01

they only get three minutes. Yeah. What

19:03

happens if they don't? That's my question.

19:06

they experience less pleasure

19:08

based on the lack of orgasm, but

19:10

not, you know, medium stakes, we'll call

19:12

it. OMG, I grind my

19:14

pillow to my pussy Blowed. Full

19:16

video. Blowed. Yeah.

19:18

That that kinda goes hand in hand with the ugg

19:20

needed to come in three minutes. Oh,

19:22

yeah. Yeah. Like high stake's

19:24

dry hump. Right. Like, we're trying to make it

19:26

really unique to James

19:28

Bond, you know. Yes. Yeah.

19:30

I mean, a pillow like, I'm like, well, good

19:32

thing the pillows there catch the explosion. You know? Like,

19:34

it just doesn't

19:35

the quietest

19:37

explosion, like, screaming into

19:39

a pillow, like, a pussy exploding into

19:41

a pillow just sounds anti

19:43

climactic. But listen, you do

19:45

you, babe. Yeah. Okay. Last

19:47

one from me. I gotta go

19:49

back to work. incredibly horny

19:52

cheating coworker grinds on cock

19:54

comes during lunch break. See, it's

19:56

like lots of like time constraints

19:58

here. Yeah. Well, we're just trying, I think, in the porn

20:00

space here to make the dry humping active.

20:02

Yeah. How do we raise the stakes? How do

20:04

we enhance the stories of porn? We had

20:07

also why no penny

20:09

trays? Yeah. But, you know, why

20:11

just the dry hump? We gotta give

20:13

something for the dry hump. I mean, you just

20:15

advocated

20:15

for more dry humping than last.

20:17

So I did. I don't

20:18

take it back. I have two

20:21

more. Great.

20:23

I almost missed this one. I was about to be, like,

20:25

This is my last one. I just saw this. It was like, this cannot

20:27

be lifed off. I can't wait.

20:29

Dry humping this log.

20:31

the

20:32

Okay. I'm just dry humping this

20:35

log. That sounds terrible. That

20:37

sounds fucking dicey. It's giving me log,

20:39

lady. It's giving me bark

20:41

rash. it's giving me,

20:43

like, this this

20:45

log, like, that sounds not

20:47

worth the trouble, you know.

20:49

Yeah. But it if

20:50

you're alone in the wilderness I I still

20:52

think not worth it. I if I still have my

20:54

my fingers in my hands, like

20:57

Sure. other things. We're better out. Dry

20:59

hump your sleeping bag, you know, twist it up

21:01

-- Yeah. -- and give it a you know,

21:03

her her, like, do the do a little floss

21:05

out

21:05

with your sleeping bag.

21:07

before you try to have the log. Best of

21:09

luck to that person. Hope they're okay. Okay. Last one

21:11

is from the same creator who we're gonna talk

21:13

about after the break. So because

21:15

of the title of the sequel -- Uh-huh. --

21:18

cheating on my dryer with my

21:20

washing machine. Really

21:23

curious, like, how we had a monogamy

21:25

conversation with inanimate objects.

21:27

But, listen, you

21:28

you do you baby.

21:30

Oh, god. Let's

21:33

take a break.

21:39

Both

21:39

are hot. Alright? I'm talking

21:41

about Vindiesel, Tyson Backford,

21:44

Stanley twitchy, anyone. But

21:46

did you know most folks shaving their heads might be doing it

21:48

wrong. Razors were designed to

21:50

shave flat surfaces, not curved

21:52

domes. Razors shave too

21:54

close often under the skin, so hair

21:56

comes back as uncomfortable irritating

21:58

ingromes. Avoid painful Nixon

22:00

cuts with a shaver actually

22:02

designed for the head. Freedom

22:04

grooming's flex series electric shaver

22:06

has five rotary blades that individually

22:08

flex for a closer shave. Compared

22:10

to an old school razor, the flex

22:12

series shaves fifty percent more hair in a single

22:14

stroke and it's waterproof. You can

22:16

shave wet or dry even in the shower.

22:19

faster baby smooth shaves in three minutes

22:21

or less. For upcoming holidays,

22:23

birthdays, or just because, get your

22:25

bald guy the best shaver of

22:28

his life. Freedom is giving our listeners

22:30

an exclusive discount. Visit

22:32

freedom grooming dot com slash G0P

22:34

for twenty percent off. That's freedom

22:36

grooming dot com slash G0P

22:38

for twenty percent off

22:40

today. So

22:40

we realized last month that we had at

22:42

least

22:42

two different sorry, porn subscriptions that

22:45

we were paying more than

22:47

twenty dollars a month for. Now, Rachel and

22:49

I aren't really that upset to be paying porn. We're

22:51

not watching. It's

22:51

a good cause. But if this was happening to you

22:53

and you were paying for, let's say, some kind

22:56

of giant evil corporation

22:58

whose services you don't actually

23:00

use, you might be kind of pissed. Right?

23:02

eighty percent of people have active subscriptions they forgot

23:04

about. Maybe for you, it's an unused Amazon

23:06

Prime account or a Hulu account that ever

23:09

gets streamed, There's this great app that Laura and I have been telling you about

23:11

here for a while, formerly called True Bill,

23:13

now known as Rocket Money. It helps you track

23:15

all of your expenses and helps you cancel

23:17

unwanted subscriptions with one tap.

23:19

The app shows all subscriptions in one place and cancels

23:21

what you don't want for you. Rocket

23:23

money can even find subscriptions you didn't know

23:25

you were paying for. You may

23:27

even find out you've been double charged for a subscription. To

23:30

cancel one,

23:30

all you have to do is press cancel and

23:32

rocket money takes care of the rest.

23:35

unnecessary

23:35

subscriptions with rocket money today.

23:37

Go to rocket money dot com slash

23:39

G0P Seriously, it could save you hundreds

23:42

per year. That's rocket money

23:44

dot com slash G0P

23:46

So here we are to

23:49

talk about this modern marvel. This

23:51

film. Yeah. This cinematic

23:55

achievement. I actually had a loss

23:57

for words. Yeah. Yeah. Well, let's just

23:59

start with the title, then

23:59

we'll see what flows. called

24:01

Wisconsin Girl Humps dryer. Uh-huh.

24:04

I'm so curious

24:06

about this person and what their

24:08

deal is. Uh-huh. It

24:10

feels self aware. It feels like a

24:12

joke or a self aware of that. Yeah.

24:14

I looked at her profile and she is

24:16

from Wisconsin. Yeah. It felt

24:18

authentic. Oh, yeah. If hammed up a good

24:20

deal. She's leaning in.

24:22

Yeah. She's really leaning in to

24:25

She is chewing the scenery. She is humping the

24:27

dryer. She is always a

24:29

forest. She is a fully fleshed out

24:31

character. You know, she has

24:33

done some accent work. Yes.

24:35

We have backstory. We have everything. We have beginning

24:37

middle and end. Yes. So this is from

24:39

l hell. It begins as

24:43

one might expect. How many borns do. We

24:45

find ourselves in a terrifying basement.

24:47

A basement. A dimly lit

24:49

basement where apparently we're

24:52

in a building that has multiple

24:54

units. So we're led to believe. It feels

24:56

like the basement of a house -- A home. Yeah.

24:58

-- but presumably it could be you know, Wisconsin

25:01

rental situation where we

25:02

got four units in an old home.

25:04

Right. Right. And one washer, one

25:06

dryer in

25:06

the basement. And

25:09

she's like, oh, hey there, neighbor, new

25:11

neighbor. Don't worry. Take your time, you know. You

25:13

must be the new neighbor here in my death

25:15

basement. Yeah. She doesn't say that, but I

25:17

did in my head. Sucks that

25:19

there's only one of each machine. Oh,

25:21

you're using both. Yeah. You

25:23

gotta load in both of them. And then

25:25

she's also like, I could go shovel

25:28

the walk or salt or something. So I'm like, okay. So

25:30

you're the super -- Yeah. --

25:32

presumably. Or not.

25:34

Like, she's the just, like, throwing out things

25:36

that people do in Wisconsin. Basically,

25:38

that's what I was getting. Yeah. But if if

25:40

it's a multi unit building,

25:42

she's like, oh, I'll just go shovel the

25:44

walk or salt or something. Like,

25:47

You're the super. Right. You know, I mean, I

25:49

had to assume she's a super because I'm like, well, if

25:51

you're not the landlord because you would know who

25:53

the new neighbor was. Right.

25:54

Yeah. That's true. Like, really?

25:56

Yeah. Really tight. Wow. Okay. This

25:58

together story here.

25:59

Yeah. Anyways, she mentions

26:02

it's above zero degrees. So you know what

26:04

that means? Shorts on about them

26:06

and a flannel on top. You know, I'm just

26:08

josh it. How about them packers? You know,

26:10

about them packers? I think this might be Aaron's

26:12

second ring. It's a

26:15

name. You're using the dryer. I need it for something. But, like,

26:17

she's also giving this neighbor no time to talk.

26:19

You know? Yeah. Like, it has that

26:21

unfortunate actuary thing of, like, fill

26:23

the silence. It's just keep rambling.

26:25

Yeah. Whereas, like, in theory, the other person would

26:27

be talking. Right. She also throws

26:29

a note, don't you know? Yeah. A

26:32

lot of that. Uh-huh. I could show you if

26:34

you want. Uh-huh. And

26:36

boy does she? Yeah. She said there's a

26:38

really great other use

26:40

for a dryer, and then we just get right to

26:42

it. Like, I can show you. And then

26:44

and then we're humped in a dryer. You

26:46

know? I have to say, this

26:48

is not I've never humped a

26:50

dryer. but this is not what I would imagined the

26:53

way to use it. In other

26:55

videos, like, in her cheating, when she cheats

26:57

on the dryer, she does it

26:59

better. But yeah, she starts

27:01

just by corner. Well, she the

27:03

corner makes sense to me, but it's her thrusting

27:06

her pubic bone into the side of the

27:08

machine. Yeah. You see, like, she's There's not what

27:10

seems to be obvious contact

27:12

between a clip and a

27:14

dryer. There seems to just

27:16

be general humping.

27:18

You know? Like, my thought is that you'd immediately

27:21

straddle the dryer to get closer

27:23

access. I thought you would sit on top

27:25

of it. Oh, that's

27:27

what I pictured. Oh, I see.

27:29

Okay. Interesting. Interesting. And,

27:31

like, rubbing kind of, like, grinding back and

27:34

forth. But Wait. Wait. She was legitimately

27:37

humping. Yes. But I need

27:39

to also understand what you're doing

27:41

because, like, I get the notion of sitting on

27:43

a dryer, especially if it's, like, bumping around

27:45

and vibrating the idea being that creates

27:47

stimulus -- Yeah. -- that way. But is are you

27:49

saying that you're sitting in such a way that you're

27:51

positioning your clip. Like, how are you

27:53

sitting on the driver? I mean, I'm sitting on

27:55

it. I don't know if I'm sitting on the top of it,

27:57

and I'm, like, rub like, removing my hips back

27:59

in

27:59

for it. and

27:59

that is therefore, like, tugging on

28:02

your clip because it's

28:04

holding your coach in such a way

28:06

that it's creating pressure that way? Or is your I'm

28:08

actually making contact with the

28:10

dryer for the My clit. Yeah. It's making

28:13

contact with the I don't know. I mean, I've never

28:15

done it. I mean, what you're describing, I'm like,

28:17

where is your Clint Rachel? because you're making it sound like it's

28:19

on your asshole. But I think

28:21

what you're saying is not sitting, like, this. I

28:23

mean Yeah. You're sitting up and you're positioning

28:25

your hips in such a way that you're Like,

28:27

when you're grinding on you're sitting on someone's

28:29

lap and you're grinding.

28:30

Uh-huh.

28:31

Yes. But when I'm doing that, I'm straddling

28:34

them. You know? Right. But you're okay.

28:37

Whatever. Like, I'm just in the moment of,

28:39

like, is Rachel's clip at a different place

28:41

than mine? And, like, what's happening here?

28:43

But Yeah. Mine's high up. I don't know. It's

28:45

not my belly button. Like, that

28:47

makes

28:47

lessons. If

28:50

your clue

28:50

was on your date, then I'd be like, oh, yeah. Sit

28:52

up right on the drier and dry. No.

28:55

No. Anyways, it's just not

28:57

how I pictured the mechanics of this

28:59

going. Yeah. That's what I'm trying to

29:01

say. Yeah. And it's always gonna be hard to

29:03

get like clips to from

29:05

a drier. You know? Like, you gotta

29:07

find a pretty unique position. Well,

29:09

you know, not for Wisconsin Girl.

29:12

Well, yeah. this video in particular, she's just, like, humping from the

29:14

front and

29:14

I'm, like, it's gotta be tucked in there.

29:16

Like, how are you how are you getting

29:19

to it? like, if I'm humping a dryer, my legs

29:21

are spread and I'm, like,

29:23

it's the corner or it's like the edge.

29:25

Let's be clear here. I'm

29:26

never humping a dryer.

29:29

I have a plethora of gorgeous

29:31

high end luxury

29:33

sex toys. The

29:34

dryer is the last place I'm going.

29:37

for quitting stimulation. You're getting so defensive

29:39

about how you honked a dryer,

29:41

dude. Like, take a breath. I We

29:43

can all honk dryers in our own way,

29:45

I just needed to understand what you were

29:48

articulating because I know where the clip is

29:50

located and I want our audience to

29:52

understand where it is too. Yeah.

29:55

But, you know,

29:56

I don't know. It

29:57

makes sense in my head, but I've never

29:59

I understand what you're saying. It just took me a

30:01

second. It just sounded like you're rubbing your butt on

30:03

the dryer, but now I get it. It's about

30:06

positioning your butt up. Back there. Like, my

30:08

butt isn't touching. My butt phasing

30:10

that way. You know? That just

30:12

confused me more. Okay.

30:14

After this, you're gonna draw me a

30:16

picture of which way you're sitting on the dryer, and it's gonna

30:19

clear everything else. It's a

30:21

mess. noticing of your hip -- Yeah. --

30:23

of your hip hair butt is the top,

30:25

the drier at best. I under I

30:27

get it now. I just needed to understand

30:29

beforehand. I'm not attacking your person.

30:31

I'm just trying to understand how

30:33

you would theoretically hump

30:35

a dryer and, you

30:37

know, if you know our own clothes, like, doing big

30:39

deal. We've done a lot of episodes. I just wanna make

30:41

sure you know. I

30:44

I'm pretty sure I know more

30:46

than you know. Yeah. Yeah. It was

30:48

also,

30:48

like, maybe Rachel has a special clip. That's

30:50

in a different place than mine. Everybody's

30:53

different. That's true.

30:54

Anyway, this video so

30:57

she helps the dryer I don't

30:59

think she comes. No. The dryer course, she doesn't

31:02

come. She's humming a dryer. Yeah.

31:04

And she but she just kinda,

31:06

like, does it for a bit. And

31:08

then she says and she does well,

31:10

she's helping it say aw pipes, which is --

31:12

Yes. -- an amazing line to say, well, you're Lot

31:14

of your own gosh. Yeah. Lot

31:16

of oh gosh. Oh, feels so good.

31:19

Crips. Also, very key detail. There's

31:21

duct tape on the side of the dryer. I know. I was like,

31:23

what's that? Like, holding it together,

31:25

like, holding the pieces. Yeah.

31:27

And then we wrap up. And then she's

31:29

leaving, and she's, like, Oh, where are you By the way,

31:31

like, if I happen to know your

31:33

folks, tell your folks I

31:35

says, hi. Well, that's just like

31:37

a Midwest Yes. I just

31:39

was, like, what a way to

31:41

wrap it up with, like, tell your

31:43

tell your mom. I said, hi. If I

31:45

happen to know her, hey, mama, you're

31:47

a laundry. she also had to she

31:49

was like, is this your big? Like, she had

31:51

to use the term big? Yeah.

31:53

Yeah. Just because she wanted to say

31:56

big. Yeah. She also offers use of her detergent, which is

31:58

very generous. I know. Again, just like

32:00

Midwestern sensibilities. Very,

32:02

yeah, very polite, very sharing, very

32:05

generous, so sharing that she teaches you

32:07

about how she humps the dryer, whether

32:09

it's an effective method, remains to be

32:12

seen. Jerry's still out on that one. Yeah. And

32:14

then she goes about her business. Yeah.

32:16

This was a psycho video. Yeah.

32:18

I really I'm fascinated by, like

32:20

I laughed a lot. I left

32:22

the and this performer has, like, a a lot of views. Like, a

32:24

lot of times you find these videos and it's, like, a

32:27

thousand likes and two

32:29

thousand views. That's even high. what

32:31

I meant. Like, a hundred likes and a thousand views. But

32:33

she's, like, up there. Yeah. I think that

32:35

yeah. She's leading And it just seems very self aware.

32:37

Like, one of the cues too is, like,

32:40

her tattoos were, like, really

32:42

cool and specific. I don't quite

32:44

know how to -- Yeah. -- describe what I mean by that,

32:46

but, like, her tattoos were badass. So I

32:48

was, like, cool. She's not, like, confused.

32:50

I think she's just, like, making a

32:52

really funny self aware video and there's an audience for

32:54

this -- Oh. -- for whatever reason, you know.

32:56

A hundred percent. Wild.

32:58

Let's talk about teenage dream. Great.

33:01

So this is from aortic films we just

33:03

talked about recently and apparently -- Yeah. -- we

33:05

love and are gonna keep coming back

33:07

to, I think, for sure. This is called Teenage Dream from

33:09

aorta films starring Parks Authority

33:11

and Shane Knox. Mhmm. And

33:13

there's a great little blurb, and

33:15

I'm just gonna this the last

33:17

little part of it because this is exactly what I think of

33:19

when I think of dry humping. Yeah.

33:22

I know it. With hard bulges under

33:24

tight denim and wet spots proudly

33:26

left on their favorite jeans. What are you

33:28

waiting for? Climate and take a ride.

33:30

I was like, yes. That's exactly what I

33:32

think of when I think of dry hump Yeah. Like,

33:34

it's already in a car, back

33:37

seat, you know, the back seat of a car.

33:39

Uh-huh. And the whole thing the whole

33:41

thing is dry humping in a car. Like,

33:43

it starts with, like, making out and it builds

33:45

and it has it has a whole little

33:47

mini arc, but -- Yeah. -- it's all

33:49

just well, it's how big we do get naked

33:51

to be fair. So we did earlier, like,

33:53

define it a certain way. But but I

33:55

think it's it's not like she

33:57

has pants on. Exactly. So it's not.

33:59

So technically, it's it's half

34:02

dry and still dry. Yeah.

34:04

It's very I mean, yes. If there's clothes,

34:06

there's clothes. There's what I mean.

34:08

Yeah. I really

34:10

liked the way that it was shot.

34:12

It felt like I it felt

34:14

like I was experiencing it in the

34:16

car with them because it was

34:18

very, like, voyeuristic and close-up. Yeah. You know?

34:20

Yeah. And kind of messy. You know, like, it

34:22

was a hands on

34:24

camera and it was also very

34:26

beautifully shot. Like, the light

34:28

that was coming in, like, just like the

34:30

natural light from outside, like, on their

34:32

bodies and, like, in the the nighttime --

34:34

Mhmm. -- was really gorgeous. Which

34:36

probably wasn't natural light. It was probably, like, a

34:38

right beautiful elaborate lighting setup,

34:40

but achieved such a green

34:42

glow light. Yeah. It looked like

34:44

moonlight. It was great. And that's like,

34:46

it really, like, felt very nostalgic and,

34:48

like, brought me back, you know, to, like, I

34:50

don't find, like, cars. like dry hoping sessions

34:52

of, like, my teenage years. Yeah. It

34:54

was very nostalgic. Like -- Yeah. --

34:57

very aching, sweet. And just, like, the

34:59

anticipation and, like, wanting to,

35:01

like, you know, have sex, but you're like,

35:03

I don't know, for whatever reason you're not.

35:05

Yeah. Or this is sex to you. And this is

35:07

a case where, like, this is this sex act. We

35:09

just get a really intense striving.

35:11

Right. And it builds and

35:14

is fucking hot. And then they kinda

35:16

both collapse and, you

35:18

know, like, giggly and lying side by

35:20

side, and it's Hold on.

35:22

Yeah. Yeah. It was really sweet. It

35:24

was also just really hot because

35:26

it wasn't performative. it

35:28

was, like, genuine pleasure and, you

35:30

know, they weren't, like, worried about, like, looking

35:32

hot. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah.

35:36

Yeah. It felt very raw for that reason. Mhmm.

35:38

Yeah. Mhmm. It didn't feel like porn

35:40

where

35:40

everybody's, like, posing in a certain

35:43

kind of way.

35:43

Exactly. Exactly. Also, the music was

35:46

really good. Yeah. The music was great. Great

35:48

sound. It's just like really great simple

35:50

production. Like, Right. It's really small.

35:52

It's like a shorter video, and it but

35:54

it felt like even like the music, I was like, yeah.

35:56

This feels like something I would have listened

35:58

to when

35:59

I was and this wherever AI am in my memory, like, this

36:02

of, like, how old I was. Yeah. But, yeah, I

36:04

liked that it wasn't, like, pulling out in these,

36:06

like, wide shots to,

36:06

like, see, you know, there's always,

36:10

like, in porn sometimes. It's like what you don't see is actually

36:12

kind of a Exactly. Yeah. This -- Yeah.

36:14

-- this exemplifies, like, the

36:17

heat in the implication that, like, we're

36:19

just seeing,

36:19

like, a leg and a some

36:22

jeans. Like, we're seeing, like, a bare leg and some

36:24

jeans

36:24

or we're just seeing, like, hands on an

36:26

ass or something, you know, the moon, like, kind of, like, in shadow,

36:28

like, illuminating in the Volvo for, like, a

36:30

brief moment. You know? Yeah. But it's

36:34

not, like, harsh lighting, you know, meat shot

36:36

of -- Yeah. -- clinical, like what

36:38

that we always, like, call it mainstream porn

36:40

for

36:40

doing the thing that we hate.

36:43

Yeah.

36:43

But, yeah, I really liked it. I thought it was

36:45

a really sweet, actual, like, you know,

36:48

like very sweet and very, like,

36:50

reminiscent and nostalgic video. Yeah. I think

36:52

it goes to show how much just,

36:54

like, simple but

36:55

really effective and thoughtfully

36:57

chosen production. And and,

36:59

like, heated performances can just make for a

37:02

great video. And that doesn't need, like, a ton of bells

37:04

and whistles, you know? Uh-huh.

37:06

Uh-huh. I thought

37:06

it was great. loved it. I will say I

37:08

don't think I'm masturbating to either of these

37:10

because I think for me dry humping

37:12

is the real

37:13

life act as opposed to something I wanna

37:15

watch and

37:16

porn.

37:17

Yeah. I I would agree with you on that. Yeah.

37:19

It's not something that I'm necessarily searching for. Mhmm.

37:21

But I did still really

37:23

enjoy the

37:24

era aorta films. Yeah.

37:25

Yeah. That's a

37:26

beautiful little film. I loved it.

37:28

I highly recommend. Yeah.

37:30

Yeah. Well, thanks so much for

37:32

listening to girls on porn. you can find

37:34

us on our website at croissant

37:35

porn dot com, on TikTok and Instagram

37:37

at croissant porn porn with SEO,

37:40

on Twitter at G0B the podcast,

37:42

and also on Patreon on patreon

37:44

dot comgirls on porn. Don't

37:46

forget to rate review and subscribe if you

37:48

haven't already. We do get

37:50

the Acacia small, a hateful, single star. Probably from people

37:52

who don't even listen to the show and are just generally

37:54

threatened by women talking about

37:56

porn. So if

37:58

you are a supporter and you like what we do, please, please give

37:59

us that five star rating. It means a

38:02

lot. This has been girls on porn, the only

38:04

GOP that actually

38:08

good.

38:14

That

38:15

was a hit down podcast.

38:17

that