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we have perks like merchandise discounts, blooper

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reels, extra clip reviews, thirst traps seem

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to be very popular, and we've even

1:01

started a series that we call The

1:03

Pre-Come, which is basically a bonus podcast.

1:06

Rachel and I hop on before we record

1:08

our episodes and we shoot the shit about

1:10

our latest sexual adventures and

1:12

also answer questions submitted by listeners

1:15

like you. That's right, you

1:17

can genuinely ask us anything and we'll

1:19

honestly probably respond. We've yet to

1:21

encounter a question we couldn't handle. Gauntlet

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Throne, famous last words. You

1:26

can find us at

1:28

patreon.com/girls on porn. Welcome

1:31

to Girls on Porn. I'm Laura.

1:33

I'm Rachel. And we love porn.

1:36

This is our Porn Review Podcast. We

1:39

talk about what we love and roast

1:41

what we hate. Helping you find hot,

1:43

ethical, just plain butter porn for your

1:45

spank bank. And we're

1:47

looking at everything. Before

1:54

we introduce the topic, we have a

1:56

secret little segment for you today. 9

2:00

seconds of sex news. We've

2:04

pulled headlines from the news to keep

2:06

you informed and horny. Here we go.

2:11

Public sex correspondent Laura here. Today we

2:13

have a new case from a likely

2:15

locale. This one comes to us from

2:17

a viral TikTok user at Girls or

2:19

Women with a caption trying to enjoy

2:21

a beautiful Sunday afternoon in NYC, only

2:24

in New York. The video displays what appears

2:26

to be a couple bumping uglies under a

2:29

blanket in a public park. While

2:31

commenters on TikTok have demanded the

2:33

NYPD launch an investigation, our

2:36

sources say this could turn into another cold

2:38

case. Fret not, at Girls or

2:40

Women will be on the lookout at parks

2:42

all summer just to see if anyone's having

2:44

sex or even trying to. For

2:47

research. We're

2:49

so sorry to do this, but sometimes the worst

2:51

people in the world say funny things. Outside

2:53

of the courthouse during Trump's criminal trial in which

2:56

he was accused of paying for sex, one

2:58

supporter, Boldy, proclaimed that it's an extremely normal

3:00

thing for Trump to have paid for sex.

3:03

Unprompted, he offered up that he spent a

3:05

lot of time in East Asia in pursuit of sex.

3:08

In his own words, what do you think I do in

3:10

Thailand? Just sit in a chair? We

3:13

at Girls on Bourn support sex work and

3:15

sex workers. It's the silencing we're not on

3:17

board for. White

3:20

boy of the month alert, an Australian

3:22

only fans creator aptly named Girth Master

3:24

has gone viral for his appearance in

3:27

a Man on a Street video about

3:29

careers and salaries. In the video, Girth

3:31

Master revealed he's in the top point

3:33

one percent of OF creators earning

3:35

up to eighty thousand dollars a month.

3:38

So what sets him apart from other creators? Well,

3:41

let's just say he has a really thick accent

3:43

and a meaty personality. He's got a

3:45

giant heart. Oh, and his cock

3:47

has a seven inch girth. This

3:50

is our official petition to give Girth

3:52

Master's collaborators some sort of commendation for

3:54

their heroic service. Speaking

3:57

of only fans, data from sex toy company.

6:00

and looks like a murder scene happened. I like to

6:02

pile the sheets up, you know? I like to strip

6:04

the bed and pile it. So all she has to

6:06

do is like, ooh, I put them in the bathtub.

6:08

Put them in the bathtub? I'm like, she doesn't have

6:10

to leave. Yeah, she worked. That sends a message to

6:13

be like, this is biohazard material.

6:15

Yeah, you don't wanna have to go through

6:17

it. You don't wanna have to go through it.

6:20

Yeah, I'll like pile up, put them in

6:22

the bathtub just for easiness of cleaning. But

6:24

yeah, I do. I think I've had sex

6:26

in every single hotel in

6:28

my neighborhood. Whenever I

6:30

go on vacation, I also love to

6:32

have sex with someone like a local.

6:38

In a hotel, are you making sure the local

6:40

is getting a room for you? Is that part

6:42

of it? Oh, no, no, no, no. When I'm

6:44

on vacation, it's my room. And then I say

6:46

night, night, goodbye. I paid for

6:49

this nice, fancy hotel room. You're not staying.

6:51

I see. I like that. I just, I

6:53

love a hotel. I try

6:55

to make my bed feel like a hotel room with

6:58

the all white cushion. It does kind

7:00

of, it's all white. It's very cozy.

7:02

It's percale or something. It's like whatever

7:04

that thing is. Not even how they

7:06

usually say that. Yeah, that's right.

7:09

Cotton percale. And then I have like a

7:11

zillion pillows. Not because I need them, but

7:13

because like every hotel room does. You know?

7:15

I see. And that just like feels right. I

7:18

don't know why I never put together before that your

7:20

room is designed to replicate a hotel. Or like that

7:22

the bed is specifically. The bed is, specifically, yeah. I

7:25

always feel like I get the best sleep of my life in

7:27

a hotel room. Yeah, I'm

7:29

thinking about maybe I'll get a hotel. I mean, I'm going to

7:31

get a hotel room for my birthday, but maybe I'll get a

7:33

hotel room next week. I don't

7:35

know. I like a staycation. Yeah, a little

7:38

treat. Yeah. Mm-hmm.

7:40

That's nice. Thank God for the invention of

7:42

hotel tonight. I will say that. Yeah, good

7:44

for deals. And these days, like the just

7:46

hotels just have more availability. Although, now I'm

7:48

just going to ruin it. There's like a

7:50

lawsuit about like price hijacking, like that they're

7:52

price gouging and they're like the

7:55

hotel groups are getting together to drive up

7:57

their prices. Because hotel demand is like

7:59

down. everybody's doing Airbnb and like it's

8:01

a different market. Yeah. Stupid.

8:04

I love a hotel.

8:07

I was thinking about, so like we have this research

8:09

from Lovely Matt. Yeah. This

8:12

is from Thrillist that is about like

8:14

whether Americans believe sex is better in

8:17

hotels. Yes. With the kind of

8:19

resounding yes that 49% of Americans

8:22

said their partner performs better in hotels and

8:24

46 believe they perform better in a

8:27

hotel. Right. 2,200 people surveyed from 11 countries. Mexico

8:32

had the highest opinion of their partners performance in

8:34

hotels, 63%. Germans

8:36

the least. It's only

8:38

18%. For

8:41

some reason that's rocks. You know. Exactly.

8:44

So that's what I'm trying to dissect and I was trying to like assess whether

8:46

I fit the German model in

8:48

this case because I'm like the German reason might be

8:50

that like we're fucking kinky

8:52

and. Already. So

8:54

there's like. Yeah. We're

8:56

already having crazy exciting eventful sex all

8:59

the time. Right. your

9:01

props. That's what I was going to say. I

9:03

was like, well, their fist isn't, you know what

9:05

I mean? Like they're fisting dildo isn't at the

9:08

hotel. So. They gotta bring a big

9:10

ass bag of toys and things. Their sex swing like

9:12

isn't in the hotel room. Right.

9:15

You know, like they don't have all the. It's not

9:17

structurally sound enough. A kuchama, you know. Right. That

9:20

that could be part of it. And I was thinking about my own life

9:22

and I was like, I've definitely had great sex in

9:24

hotels and definitely like. Yeah. Like

9:27

I would say that hotel sex, you still

9:29

make it like a special occasion. Like you

9:31

take. Of course. Like I've, I've tripped in

9:34

a hotel and had some fun, like trippy

9:36

sex in a hotel. I love big fucking

9:38

bathtub and having that be

9:40

like a part of a fun experience,

9:43

but not necessarily like the kinkiest

9:45

or like right. But also like

9:48

great sex. I don't know that sex has to be

9:50

like kinkier to be better for me, but it's not

9:52

necessarily like. Miles.

9:54

I think, I don't know. Now I sound like I'm

9:56

bragging, but like for the average American, like going to

9:59

a hotel. implies you're gonna

10:01

have sex, you know? Like

10:03

you're uninterrupted, like maybe

10:06

you have kids that aren't there, you have more

10:08

privacy than usual, you're like away from your normal

10:10

routine that can sometimes get in the way of

10:13

sexual possibility. You don't have a roommate next door,

10:16

you know what I mean? You don't have a

10:18

roommate next door. I'm screaming in a hotel room,

10:20

like I am fucking having as

10:22

much sex as I want. That's actually, that's a

10:24

good point, that's a detail I didn't think about,

10:26

that like, yeah, I've had some hotel sex recently

10:29

with a partner who we'd like have to be

10:31

quiet, maybe under other circumstances, we've been like, be

10:33

as loud as you fucking want, which

10:36

could be nice. And we'll talk about this after,

10:38

but like. I know what you're gonna say. Interesting

10:40

detail of the story of it. In that video,

10:42

yeah. Yeah, we'll get to it, we'll get to

10:44

it. I totally agree. Yeah. I

10:46

will say though, about going back to the

10:48

whole, like you gotta bring your own props,

10:50

and this is why every woman, I know

10:53

everyone loves to have a tiny little purse,

10:55

but put a tiny little vibrator in

10:57

there. I carry a vibrator, I carry

11:00

two vibrators, and lube, and like 17

11:02

condoms, at the everyday

11:04

of my goddamn life, you know? Girl,

11:06

I was recently gifted this, this will

11:08

be a special feature for the Patreon.

11:11

Incredible. The mini magic wand. And is

11:13

it powerful as hell? Fucking packs a

11:15

punch, it's plenty for me. It's

11:17

definitely not as much as like the magic

11:19

wand. Sure. Yeah, yeah. It's a

11:21

lot more than like you often see, and I

11:23

love the texture of it, and the little wobble

11:26

head. Yes, yeah. I brought this to Berlin, and

11:28

had a great, Go off. Very

11:30

sufficient time. And I also brought it to Berlin, because

11:32

I was like, it can fit my little baggy, like

11:34

my little like fanny pack if I go to Kit

11:36

Kat, and I just wanna help someone get off, or

11:39

watch, or get off. They just wanna get off, yeah,

11:41

yeah. I'm just advertising for them, and they didn't pay

11:43

for this, which is frustrating. But it's a sweet little

11:45

gift. As far as like tiny portable

11:47

vibrators go, I do recommend.

11:50

I have one from Dame, that's a little purple

11:52

guy, and it's got sort of like a little

11:54

like triangle tip, that's kind of curved,

11:56

and it has like really nice like point to

11:58

it. Yeah, you're into the point these days. Man,

19:00

that sunset is gorgeous. Grill,

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32:00

bait, like the straight conversion. So

32:03

do I. Why not? You know?

32:05

Yeah. The only thing that I say that

32:07

I kind of wish this was, I sometimes in Cape Horn, like I'm like,

32:09

I want to see the bottom either like touch

32:12

his own dick or like the top reach or,

32:14

you know, like injure him off a little bit.

32:16

Yeah, that's true. We don't get enough. It's like

32:18

the equivalent of the clit. It's like the bottom

32:20

stick is like left out of the show. Just

32:23

touch it a little. Touch his dick, you know?

32:25

Yeah. Come on. That's a

32:28

good point. But yeah, I will say, I was like,

32:30

I will be circling back to this later. Yeah.

32:34

Found this one. Both of these are

32:36

actually pretty decent offerings. So the tolerance

32:38

is like kind of a hit. Yeah.

32:42

I'm a fan. I am a fan. Yeah. Both of these will

32:45

be going in my spank bank. Yeah. Well,

32:47

hey guys, thank you so much for listening

32:49

to Girls on Porn. You can find us

32:52

on Instagram and TikTok at girlsonporn. That's porn

32:54

without the O on our YouTube channel, youtube.com/at

32:56

girlsonporn on our website, girlsonporn.com

32:58

and also on our Patreon, patreon.com/girlsonporn.

33:01

Don't forget to rate, review and

33:03

subscribe if you haven't already. And

33:06

if you want to leave us a cheeky little

33:08

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33:10

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so we can tag it and thank you. This

33:15

has been Girls on Porn, the only GLP that's

33:17

actually any good.