0:00

You're about to hear what's coming up next on this episode of God mode, a player's guide to life.

0:05

I'm literally going to push the fabric of the edge of my being.

0:10

Yeah, and I'm changing something This would have been looking for my entire life Mansions full of girls, all the guys, literally all the girls is like abstract.

0:21

The amount of eye contact and smiling are the seeds of connection the antithesis of my very being, the book of the Sith I.

0:29

Got seduced into thinking that was the way also, you get to be bond.

0:35

It's like a James Bond seduction. I had a great time in college And you went to town on your daily quests.

0:42

It was like an applied science. That's such a good statistic.

0:46

It's a made-up statistic, by the way. Hey, live up to being the deity I need you to be.

0:51

Just because you think something doesn't mean that's what you should say.

0:55

Yes, wow, that was fucking great.

1:10

Hello and welcome to the first ever part two of an episode on God mode a player's guide to life.

1:17

This is the continuation of my episode with my dear friend, dylan Levitt.

1:22

As As usual for clips of today's podcast, be sure to subscribe to my youtube channel, noah Talon 44, and Also follow Noah dot Talon on Instagram.

1:32

Without further ado, part two of God mode with Dylan Levitt.

1:40

So the moment that altered the trajectory of my life was getting home drunk from a college party, frustrated, horny, and I will be fully transparent I went online, i went to watch porn that's what he did and I was on the porn site.

1:56

But before I ever clicked on a video, a Random ad invaded my screen, didn't even click on anything, because I never click ads on a porn who would site, but?

2:05

this one invaded my screen This is 2012 before they have like that technology really, and I will never forget the first word of the first sentence of the advertisement Invades my screen.

2:18

It's a vsL, so it pops up with written letters across the screen and it says hey man, i got a question for you and it might be kind of hard to hear.

2:26

When was the last time you got laid?

2:29

and That question and that moment was just like a dagger Straight to the heart because I was a virgin at the time, terribly ashamed of being a virgin and.

2:44

And and horny and drunk and frustrated from all of the Like.

2:49

Failing that, i'd done that night trying to talk to girls and get laid, and I was like what the hell is this?

2:55

I'll tell you what it is It's the fucking voice of God.

2:58

That's what's funny. You, god, found you through a fucking porn site adverts.

3:04

Yes, he said yo, you need to get real with yourself.

3:07

You ain't getting laid, bro.

3:09

Yeah, you home alone right now on this website And it's dismal.

3:15

Yeah, and you didn't even click on this ad.

3:17

But I'm interrupting your session.

3:20

Shall. We say to let you know it's time.

3:24

Yeah, dude, that's a call to adventure, like fucking, that's some, you're sure.

3:28

Yeah.

3:29

Absolutely is.

3:30

It was and again was it on a desktop.

3:34

Oh no, that was on my laptop.

3:36

I guess I mean now you're sitting in front of a smaller screen. Yeah, and you're like I.

3:41

Was like what the hell is this? so ended up, did it keep talking?

3:44

Oh, it was a 45 minute vsl, it was.

3:47

You've seen video sales letters. Oh, that video sale is a video sales letter.

3:52

They're those things. A lot of times they have a hand drawing different graphics, while there's there's a narrator and it's an ad for a product, and so that's what this was, and And it just launched into a 45 minute thing.

4:05

You clicked it. You know I didn't click on it.

4:07

I remember vividly not clicking on anything because I would never she's let it play like in all, but if that question hooked me Because it was when was the last time you got laid like it put me dude, they put you in the biological case.

4:19

They grabbed your caveman. Oh yeah, you're not.

4:21

Your eyes are here and you're not moving whoever wrote the copy for that video sales letters?

4:26

an incredible copywriter. Well done, you.

4:31

Hooked me, fuckin hook-lighted from the first sentence.

4:35

First question when was the last time?

4:37

you got late, i remember it and yeah and it go.

4:39

It went into Describing all of these covert ways that you could turn women on and create attraction sneaky and all these subtle signals You could look powerful and the female Expressions that were signs of attraction, and I was like what the hell is this This?

4:57

and honestly, in my head, i was like this would have been looking for my entire life.

5:00

I was like where I needed this and so I was hooked.

5:04

I was listening, i was watching it gently and it got to the end and it was a $67 product.

5:10

The name of the product was stealth seduction properly priced and So, you get to be bond.

5:16

It's like a James Bond seduction.

5:17

Yeah, stealth seduction, stealth seduction and 67 bucks was a lot of money for me as a bro college student.

5:25

I was.

5:25

It's also had a money back guarantee, and I was like you know what?

5:29

I was drunk, i was suggestible, i was like this sounds honestly, had I not been drunk, i don't think I would have Trusted it enough to actually buy it.

5:39

Damn Like, and I've thought about that looking back on it, had I not been drunk, i probably might.

5:45

My egoic rational mind, while he would have been like this is bullshit, like this is just a scam, like don't buy this, and that would have changed the trajectory.

5:54

But I bought the product and it Honestly it that one product didn't change everything, obviously, but what it did do is it opened my eyes up to the whole world of personal development and personal growth, because The guy who made that product was a guy named Richard La Verena the gambler, as he was known in the pick-up artist community And it was actually a lot of good content, not just on Techniques, but also on how to craft yourself into the man you want to become and how to Consciously hone different aspects of your personality, your identity, and I'd never seen any personal development anything at this point.

6:30

And so, after that, started finding other coaches like Tony Robbins and Jim.

6:35

Rohn And I started buying as many personal development products as I could afford.

6:40

Going through all of these video Program so they're 18, though I'm 18, damn you got early and I'm hooked into this and then meanwhile I'm studying communication studies and psychology in my university classes.

6:53

Wow, okay, and I we get to write our papers about anything we want.

6:56

Yeah, so what do I pick? the science of attraction.

7:00

I wrote all of my calm and Psychpapers in college about the science of attraction, the science, the evolutionary mating, psychology Like those were the two main areas that I wrote over a hundred pages worth of papers on And I was like I had a great time in college.

7:19

I was like I could study and learn.

7:22

So exactly what I want, study exactly what I want, and then so I would do the Academic research and then I would go home and I go through these video programs and it was like an applied science.

7:32

Yes, like these pick-up artists were like the actual ones, applying the things all these armchair experts were talking about.

7:39

Yes, and the academia field and I was like holy crap, like I'm getting the science and the theory From my university classes and I'm getting the applied, the application from the pickup artists you can't get a better education.

7:54

That's a fucking education, right.

7:56

And it ended up being a very comprehensive education and human behavior.

8:00

Wow, why we do what we do, the study of why we're attracted to what we're attracted to.

8:06

Yep, you know the differences between mating choice and All of my choice, and met male versus female, the evolutionary psychology underpinning, like mating strategies between men and women.

8:19

All of that.

8:20

I got a bit of a shallow question. But, just for the sake of like.

8:23

Let's, like you know, set some benchmarks on the story here And you know we can get dive deep in a second.

8:27

Yeah, how long did it take between the time you got the material and the time you were able to finally?

8:32

you know I had a girlfriend pretty much, yeah, and I don't mean that in a shot like you know, yeah, yeah, no, it's a good achieve that depth of connection that you were looking for.

8:41

So, and that might be, i might be romanticizing it.

8:45

I just want to get you and you can be honest.

8:47

Honestly, I never really did want to. I wanted a girlfriend.

8:50

Yeah, I get that, but I also wanted.

8:52

I thought I wanted to get laid too, but it wasn't just, i wanted one night's day, i want a girlfriend.

8:56

Yeah, so that first product I bought. Second semester of my freshman year in college shit, amazing.

9:02

First semester of my sophomore year in college I bought another program called the girlfriend activation system.

9:12

I bought this and It was a step-by-step process on how to get a girlfriend.

9:17

This one was all about how to get a girlfriend and how to activate the How to activate the obsession storyline in the female mind that they've been conditioned into Adopting over the course of a woman's development, and how to activate this obsession storyline.

9:35

And it was a great product. I followed it to a fucking tee and so that this is a year later, first semester of my sophomore year in college, i bought this program and we're far from the truth at this point.

9:48

You still haven't, even you don't know, anything about that right the truth.

9:51

I read like two years ago Oh, wow.

9:54

Yeah, the book didn't come out until, like I was well into my adulthood but got it.

9:57

So I used that product to get my first girlfriend and I met her the end of my first semester sophomore year and we started dating The end of my first semester sophomore year.

10:12

So it was about it was a little over a year Between the time that I bought stealth seduction and had that yeah that moment that altered the trajectory of trajectory, my life And the time that I got a girlfriend was a year and a couple months.

10:29

And when you guys, when you finally did get a girlfriend, did you, was it Like a good relationship.

10:34

It was, to this day, the best relationship I've ever had.

10:39

Oh my god.

10:40

Yeah, it was.

10:41

I love everything I wanted it to be.

10:43

I love that she treated me like a king, i treated her like a queen, and we had So much fun together.

10:50

I love it.

10:51

It was an amazing even all my friends looked at it with envy the relationship that we had in college and we dated until the end of college Wow, So it worked and absolutely worked you know, yeah, you were saying like I think one of the cool things that like okay, so right off the top, there's plenty of toxic shit in that space.

11:10

Oh, yeah, and by the way, i do not consider myself a pick-up artist.

11:14

I do not subscribe to the philosophy of being a pick-up artist.

11:18

I got seduced into thinking that was the way and it wasn't until I was 24 and found Transformation that I actually realized what the pick-up artists are doing is not effective for long-term, healthy relationships.

11:33

Right. So I want to make that very clear. Well, because what they put on the chopping block is authenticity.

11:37

Yes, that the value of authenticity is like completely overlooked, i think, in the most toxic of those environments, you know, and so that's what's missing.

11:48

But in the but, now that now we've had the disclaimer, Yeah like um I.

11:56

The way it contextualizes failure and rejection is amazing.

12:02

Like I wish someone could have supported us earlier in a more maybe I don't know less pop-up on a porn site way to really like understand the formative aspect of rejection in the part where it's like cause, that's the thing that you were saying.

12:20

Like these guys, you said they're it's like not the armchair dudes, they're the ones in the field.

12:24

They're in the applied sciences And that's the new context.

12:28

So suddenly you're like a pioneer, suddenly you get rejected and you're like I fucked up this and that thing And I'm gonna go back and I'm gonna do better next time.

12:35

It's not just like this, like I'm moping on my way home in self-beatup, i mean maybe this is a little bit, yeah, and I had a framework for understanding it Understanding women, understanding the process of seduction and where I was airing in my attempts.

12:49

So okay, this is awesome. So get this shit Cause again.

12:52

Dylan and I haven't had this conversation yet.

12:55

This is crazy, not in this detailed level. We literally just happened to go to an area where we we have not connected on this in this detail.

13:00

I was saving it for the podcast Next level.

13:03

So for me, i saw the game in college.

13:07

I saw it like on a coffee table or something.

13:10

And it looks like a Bible, it's got like the gold trim and the whole nine 100% And at the time I was so repulsed by bro culture, the frat boy vibe Like I was like I mean, i think my feminine side was highly developed, i think it's still pretty developed, and my masculine side was way underdeveloped you know In so many ways And so like a lot of times I felt like insecure around other guys and also kind of like I didn't get them.

13:45

I didn't get them.

13:46

I didn't get what they were up to. what drove them?

13:48

I didn't care about sports very much.

13:51

So like.

13:51

I felt super out of the loop in that regard And I loved video games and I wore that on my sleeve and they might use that against me sometimes, which was weird because you know they play.

14:00

But then it was, it was just the time before. It was like cool, They're trying to be cool.

14:05

They're trying While in the shadows playing games, and then I later realized that a lot some of these guys, maybe even a lot of them, were intimidated by me, which was like something that would have never occurred to me, because I was insecure, and so they would actually like go out of the way, and they deliberately put me down in ways that were far beyond my comprehension So they wouldn't have to feel threatened by me or whatever, which is like wow.

14:25

When I figured that out, i was a junior and I started getting a clue as to that being what was happening.

14:30

I actually had to, like leave a huge group of my friends behind, yeah, but the point is repulsion, right, like ugh, i don't want anything to do with this.

14:37

Well, it wasn't until, you know, you fast forward, mind you, i went through a lot of rejection, but I had like a really wonderful college relationship that went a little bit past college, and I've had several really beautiful relationships in my life.

14:49

Still, though, i did feel disconnected from a certain ability, which I actually was gonna compliment you on this a few minutes ago, but you know I continued to let you speak like a good podcast.

15:00

So, you know, you've made friends, one of your best friends.

15:04

You made friends with him by meeting him at Starbucks and starting a conversation.

15:08

You know, and that for me is quite far out of what I would call my comfort zone.

15:13

You know, now probably not as far, but there was a time when I could have a visceral body reaction that just started to take place when I saw like a beautiful girl at Starbucks.

15:26

That could result in like full blown, like tension compression and like, yeah, like from zero to 100, right.

15:35

Yeah.

15:36

Now I know it to be called anima possession which is to say, anima.

15:40

Possession is when there's these qualities in me, especially since I was, was am feminine, quite feminine.

15:47

There's these qualities in me that I don't associate myself as, so I don't believe that I have these qualities, but I do.

15:54

They're in me And I then project them.

15:59

What happens, sort of automatically, what the psyche does, is it projects them onto these women and they become your pinnacle, like this is like the pedestal thing, right?

16:07

You're projecting these aspects of you onto them and then you want to be in relationship with these aspects of you, so you think you need to be in relationship with them.

16:16

Now there's several things going on here.

16:18

First of all, you don't know who the fuck they are. So in literally, i would have these like tense moments.

16:22

Yeah, i don't know who this is. She just walked through the door and she's it's been 30 steps through the cashier Like I have no idea who this person is And yet she's the queen of my existence.

16:33

She's like a deity. She has the power to completely crush your soul with one word being.

16:39

Dude physically affected my body.

16:41

Yeah, before you even talked to her, she physically affected your body.

16:45

Well, i never did, and that's my point.

16:46

And what I was getting at is had you gone and talked to her?

16:49

she has all of the power to crush your confidence and your soul with the one word of no or I don't want to talk to you And you know what's worse than that?

17:00

How set up for failure am I, where I've preloaded the word hey with hey, live up to being the deity I need you to be to transform myself in my life?

17:13

You know, hey, you know what I'm saying And it's like, and I didn't know this for a long time, we're about to get to the point where I do know this, but that is there.

17:25

You know, it doesn't matter if you don't say it out loud, like it is in my body language, It is in everything.

17:31

Oh yeah, it's in my tonality, It's in my fluidity, like it is a hundred percent present, and so they freak out.

17:39

And I freaked out. A lot of girls Like I don't mean to say I did something weird, like if I told my friend the story they'd be like, okay, well, what's wrong with her Right?

17:50

But in reality, now, looking back, i'm like, oh no, i mean I front loaded the shit out of these things And for me it goes back to my mom and you know that whole thing.

18:00

And so what was I looking for in that one?

18:02

You know, it's like just miscalibrated.

18:04

Right. So I go through my fair share of suffering and feeling, even though I've had these great relationships, like I haven't been able to craft one Like every time I went out to craft one, something would sort of fall into my lap, and then I would be like I always find the good and I can fall in love with people you know, and so I would literally fall in love, and then I had.

18:25

now I'm not in a position of crafting. I also felt really uncomfortable, rejecting and like moving on to the next person.

18:30

So I would always just sort of dive deep with whoever was kind of in front of me, interesting.

18:34

Anyway, it worked out beautiful relationships.

18:36

But there was a certain masculine element in me that was like dude, i want to be like a hunter, i want to be able to like say, hey, i like that person, i want to at least start a conversation with them.

18:45

Yeah, you know, like in the case I brought up with you I didn't even bring up you seducing a girl and having sex with her from Starbucks I brought up a guy friend that you made at Starbucks, right, you know.

18:53

So it's like Who also happens to be gay, by the way.

18:55

Look at that. I want that power. I wanted that ability to have that freedom in my day-to-day movement around earth.

19:03

Yeah, so it's a heat wave in LA And it's probably like fucking six years ago, five years ago now, and now I'm in this house and in this house is the game left behind by someone And there's a huge heat wave.

19:18

And what I was doing at the time was I was teaching myself how to read.

19:21

I knew how to read, but I had a crippling belief that other people could read faster than I could And that I read slowly and poorly Interesting, and I knew enough to know that that can't be a permanent truth.

19:39

Yeah, and that if I flexed it I could get better.

19:41

Yeah, so I read all the Harry Potter books. I got myself like a little bit of a like a runway start, but then it's this heat wave.

19:49

I'm using my Kindle and all this shit And I see the game on the table And I'm like the antithesis of my very being, the book of the Sith, you know.

19:59

But it calls to me And I'm like and I remember I was like I can't deal with this whole biblical vibe.

20:09

So I downloaded it on like a Kindle.

20:12

I downloaded on Kindle and then.

20:13

I made it like it just made it even space text To avoid the physical presentation of the book.

20:20

There's a few things.

20:21

First of all, the book is daunting. It's a fucking tome.

20:23

It is a tome. And the letters are small.

20:26

Right.

20:26

Yeah, and at the time I'm a big computer science guy And so I know, for example, that like there's a certain amount of words that the eye loves to consume in a given line And there's a certain font face and a font size that the eye loves to consume, and so at the time, since I was trying to teach myself how to read faster whenever you buy things on Kindle.

20:43

Kindle can conform the text to this exact like robotic you know, feed you perfectly.

20:51

It can help you read it quicker. It can help you read it quicker.

20:53

Yeah, so I did that and I plowed through the game.

20:56

I was fully hooked, much like what you've described right, like first of all there's a magician and it's like exciting, and then Neil Strauss is a complete, like you know, nerd.

21:06

He's also a great writer.

21:08

Oh, he's a fantastic writer.

21:09

He's the guy who wrote the book.

21:09

But in the, in the story, he's the character, he's one of the main characters.

21:12

So he goes from being a nerd to hero.

21:15

Right, yeah, you know this is what it seems.

21:18

Yeah, this is how it seems It.

21:21

I always say it's the social network of social life.

21:24

Rather, social network was like tech.

21:26

Oh, i'm building a huge tech startup Like look at me.

21:29

Yeah.

21:29

And it had that energy of like I'm a nobody, nobody knows me, i'm just this nerd and I'm like in my room by myself And then like builds to.

21:37

Like you know what's cool? Not millions, billions, right.

21:40

Like you know what's cool? Not some girls?

21:42

mansions full of girls.

21:44

All the girls, yeah, like bouquets, literally.

21:47

All the girls Dude it's like abstract, the amount of like energy this man was able to.

21:52

Channel sorcery, which is like a darker version of like magic, really like force, into his realm.

21:58

You know, and obviously he realizes later not the best move, but but I'm hooked and I'm on the ride And the book is designed in that way where it is a startup You know they like build a startup, it is So anyway, i go on the full journey of this thing And, much like Dylan, i popped like popcorn dude, like I did not go into some twisted, an authentic thing, because for me I still had a distaste for that.

22:27

And I just couldn't do that self abandonment for whatever reason.

22:29

Yeah.

22:31

But what I? but I, just it was like what you said, like I was like, oh my God, this is what's been happening the whole time, like their body language mattered, where their shoulders were facing My mom and I, mom, love you, love you, mom, my mom.

22:47

Very hamfisted, very heavy handed, right.

22:52

Like she communicates in bold right.

22:54

So she's angry, she's like yelling. If she's sad, she's bawling.

22:58

If she's happy, she's the most happy person in the fucking room.

23:01

Yeah, so nuance did not exist in my world.

23:05

So I couldn't and I didn't know that I was blind to it, Right.

23:08

Because I didn't know any better.

23:09

You don't know what you don't know, so I had, no, I just there was all this information that I was literally blind to.

23:15

And then I read the game and you know me, I'm like my analyzer is sharp, right, Yeah.

23:19

So suddenly I'm like Zach Galifianakis in the fucking meme of the money, where not the money, the math, where he's like seeing the like calculus Moneyball, Is that it?

23:30

I always see the meme I've never seen moneyball.

23:32

I've seen moneyball. I thought that was the reference. It might be.

23:35

It might be, But either way I'll put it on the screen.

23:37

Tech guy Yeah.

23:38

You know how good it is.

23:39

So point is, it was like I was in Terminator mode and I could see things happening in real time.

23:44

And then I started to learn about the concept of social responsibility and like taking on more social responsibility and the way that like social value and credit moves in a group and how people perceive who is taking on the social responsibility And then, if they do it well, the value they receive from the group scales based on the responsibility they're taking.

24:05

Yeah, so I started to not only try to build my calendar out with days I would go out, which was new for me, yeah, but then it would be so robust with like events and things that I would do that I could invite people and then I was responsible for their experience and my experience.

24:20

So I was just fully outside of my comfort zone.

24:23

Right, you're creating value and therefore being seen as higher value by the people around here.

24:26

Yeah, exactly.

24:28

So a few things I want to pause for in a God mode way, to just highlight.

24:32

Yeah, i think that in both of our cases, in terms of extrapolating something for everyone, i know I was in the spirit of prodding my limits like 100% like.

24:48

So when like and same for you. I was too. Yeah, 100%, so for me it was about reading and I was already in the spirit of prodding that limit.

24:56

You know, and then it became I'm over not having this agency in my life with humans, yeah, and especially females, yeah, i want some agency.

25:06

And so I was prodding that like weak spot of my existence and I think it's just a theory that when we Push reality in that way and we're like I'm not settling for where I've been, yeah, i'm literally going to push the fabric of the edge of my being, yeah, and I'm changing something.

25:27

This is where I say every reality is alive, it conspires, mmm it conspires on your behalf, and so you end up like you, you have the potential, let's say, to leap forward.

25:38

Yeah, so I started just trying to get good at reading.

25:40

Boom, i end up being like, oh my god, i can see the matrix and I get all this social stuff.

25:46

I went out one night with my, with a group of people, and we encountered all kinds of shit Which I, for the sake of brevity, won't get into right now.

25:53

Yeah, but there was this moment where maximum tension occurred and I was in a heated situation with a host, was like trying to kick us out, and it was a whole thing.

26:01

I Was able. It was as if time stopped.

26:05

It was like a movie, time stopped. You can hear, like some like beautiful, a theory of woman singing in the back.

26:09

There's, like you know, coral, like orchestral music, and I'm just watching this bully guy like yelling at me in his own home right, and I can feel my friends behind me like feeling awkward, feeling like they should leave, like this was a mistake, etc, etc.

26:26

And I can tell I'm like the fulcrum point on which this entire thing is like Unfolding, and at the time I, what I did was I was like He's like yelling at me, yelling me, and I just like turn around.

26:38

I'm like, oh my god, like you're so amazing.

26:41

Like thank you so much for having us. Like have you met my friends?

26:44

And I just diverted the energy to them and they each went up and shook his hand, one at a time, and by the time he got to the end of the line, it was such a mind fuck because I completely switched the frame Right.

26:53

He was presenting this frame of like who the hell are you?

26:55

Why are you in my house? Yeah, and I went to your house is amazing, thank you for having me.

27:00

This is who I am, and let me introduce my friends.

27:02

By the end of it, he was so sort of like turned around that he was like, oh, it's really nice to meet you guys.

27:10

Yeah, well, enjoy yourselves. Like go find like a drink and get so he didn't know what to do.

27:13

You know what to do and and so, but there was this moment for me where I and I had never felt this way.

27:18

It felt like being a an athlete, and it felt like that razor's edge when I was just like I Was on the precipice of failure, but I was also aware of what I needed to do to navigate it.

27:30

Yeah, it took me out of my head for the first time ever.

27:35

It was like presence on an unbelievable scale like so huge You know like it's, it's this, it's the mr Miyagi.

27:41

Like you can see the fucking flutter of the flies wings And you can catch the fly in the chopsticks.

27:46

Yeah, once I had a taste of that presence, of that sort of like game time Flow state, yeah, i was hooked.

27:55

Oh, i bet, i was like I love this.

27:57

And then I would tell people that It was.

28:00

It was like I was like it was, and I don't want to use this lightly, so I use this with a great deal of respect, right, but my blindness was so intense before I read the game that it was almost as if I was in a neurodivergent category.

28:11

I was literally considering that maybe I was neurodivergent interesting.

28:14

And then I read this stuff and it was like, like all of these like circuits started firing.

28:20

It was a download. It was a download, yeah, and I'll leave it at this.

28:25

I Ultimately was upset at some point.

28:28

You know, i've been doing this for like eight weeks, yeah, and I wasn't gonna go out for Thanksgiving.

28:32

I think this was like 2018, okay, and I decide, you know what, fuck it, for social reasons, i'm going out.

28:39

And I went out and I was supporting a buddy of mine at a Thanksgiving Friends giving party With his own depression moment and I thought, I mean, my friend was a great actor and I wanted to support him.

28:49

And that's when somebody walked up to me and told me about MIT and that's when my Activation of these circuits that we're like looking for body language, tonality, they understood the beginnings of NLP, like all this stuff.

29:03

Yeah, i already had that online.

29:05

And then this person tells me like, oh, you should go to this program.

29:08

That's why, when I went to the program, what at the time was like eight years of back loaded therapy, mm-hmm, plus this ability to understand mechanics of like, social movement and and interaction, social mechanics Yeah, i, like I said at the beginning of this podcast, i lit up like a gasoline tank boom.

29:26

It was just like boom everything made sense.

29:28

And you saw it, he was there. No, it was never the same.

29:31

No, and I, and did I? I mean, i swung for the fences, a hundred percent, i swung, for that I was.

29:37

It was do it day three when I did that special little moment of Yes, yes, I think that was day four Yeah where.

29:45

I buried it all Oh that was day three.

29:48

I think it was day three was day three, yeah, and you came alive, your spirit came alive, i know and it was that razor's edge again.

29:56

Yeah, i think that was a really good point that you made about prodding your edges, and that was one of the things that I learned as an 18 year old in college.

30:04

There was this whole concept in one of the programs about I don't even remember which one, but one of them had this concept of pushing your edges, constantly pushing your edges, and it talked about pushing your edges with fitness, you know, doing that extra rep, that extra set, whatever it is.

30:20

Oh yeah, nice staying at the gym an extra ten minutes or whatever It is.

30:24

It talked about pushing your social edges, like staying in a social interaction longer than you necessarily feel comfortable.

30:31

It talked about pushing your edges when it came to women, approaching women.

30:36

What like actually walking up to women and starting conversations, as well as what you were willing to say to women, because a lot of these techniques, we're like very fucking bold techniques, especially for somebody who had me who had a ton of insecurity around my sexuality and around expressing, expressing sexual desire.

30:59

You know to say some of these things that they were you know, advising was like, literally felt like outing yourself dangling myself off of a cliff.

31:10

Really, it was as if I was like, by saying it, like I was dangling off a cliff, and her response, her response had the ability to like stomp on my hands and you're gone and I would fall off the edge or wow, reach a handout and drag me up off the cliff.

31:29

And I started doing that.

31:31

I mean, i I started.

31:34

I wasn't like a madman approaching women at the college parties, because I was socially savvy enough to know that if I Was using some of this stuff and it didn't work and backfired right, that could be bad.

31:49

I could be known for like the creepy dude who, like, is always approaching women, so like I wasn't like a maniac on a mission in that way, right, but what did happen?

31:58

where I really credit the most of my growth in college is junior year, when I studied abroad in Melbourne, australia, next level love Australia and I was with my girlfriend.

32:13

This was after I met Anna, my first girlfriend, and Because I told you, beginning a sophomore year, and sophomore year was when we got together and I went abroad and We made an agreement that while I was abroad, she didn't care if I talked to other girls, she didn't care if I hooked up with other girls.

32:32

Our agreement was she said I don't care what you do, as long as you don't have sex with anyone else.

32:37

Oh, okay.

32:38

Cool, anything leading up to sex is fine, interesting, and I was.

32:43

I couldn't believe it, bro. I was like this woman is amazing, like it only made me love her more and because even after I got, even after I got a girlfriend and and I were together, i was still consuming the content the content, man, i said maniacally, not maniacally, obsessively, obsessively, obsessively, consuming it even while I was with her.

33:05

And so then I'm in Melbourne, melbourne, and I have a girlfriend, yeah, and I also have a fuck ton of content and and things to apply techniques and things to apply and nobody knows me And you'll be leaving there's, i'm leaving in six months, so there's really, oh, not a big downside.

33:27

damn, and I was a maniac on a mission in Australia and.

33:33

Australians love American accents the way we love Australian accents.

33:37

They think Australians think American accents are equally as cool as Americans.

33:42

Americans think Australian accents are So like.

33:46

I had the immediate in where people just thought I was cool and interesting just by the way I talked.

33:52

And I might need to get the fuck out of America at some point.

33:55

That sounds amazing.

33:57

Yeah, bro, it was, i was surprised.

33:59

And so it kind of makes sense. I've never considered that ever.

34:03

Yeah, they think we're as exotic as we think they are.

34:06

I love that.

34:08

You just gave me a great gift. You're welcome. Yeah, for real, that's amazing.

34:11

Which, by the way, your gift is right on the table there.

34:13

So, uh, we may have to end the podcast with the gift, me giving you the gift.

34:19

Oh, shit never gives you that. Yeah, um, that's fun.

34:23

So in Australia I started, Like on the weekends I would go to this big Market that they had and I would make it a point to approach at least 10 women While I was there.

34:33

So I'm gonna pause.

34:34

I gotta pause. This is god mode.

34:38

This is it. This is what I'm talking about.

34:41

Yeah like my god, talk about world of warcraft.

34:45

in reality, bro, you got to this fucking place.

34:48

You took a flight path, landed on the other continent kalim door or eastern kingdom?

34:53

Yeah, you started in eastern kingdom. So you landed kalim door, yeah, and you said, hey, ain't nobody in kalim door gonna know me for long.

34:59

I'm gonna be back in eastern kingdoms before you can say boo.

35:01

Yes, sir, and you went to town on your daily quests.

35:05

Yes, i did. Damn right, you did man.

35:08

Damn right, Yes, I did Wow and you got xp.

35:11

I got a lot of xp, i got a lot of levels And I had a routine where I would go to a nearby park And I would exercise while I was listening to this podcast called dating skills review, and they just Interviewed anyone who sold a dating and relationship product.

35:26

Okay, it was all dating coaches on this podcast, and so I would exercise, while downloading this information about different ways to connect with women.

35:36

Reminder that dylan is a dating coach and a relationship coach dating and relationship coach, but I had no plans to be a coach at this point.

35:42

This was all for my own personal sake. So, but the combination.

35:46

I'll say this as a little nugget of Value god mode value sweet combination of doing physical exercise And ingesting information into your ears through audio at the same time, like if you want to get better at a skill or if you want to learn some kind of information that you want to apply in your life.

36:07

Listen to that while doing exercise.

36:10

And it was so. It helped ingrain it on such a deeper physiological level amazing.

36:17

So that was definitely a hack that I learned early on in college.

36:21

And then I was in the park, this, i was working out outside, and I was also practicing handstands.

36:26

That was my exercise of choice, because I just wanted to be able to do handstands.

36:31

I thought they were fucking sick me in high school, so that's funny.

36:34

So I taught myself how to do handstands for 30 minutes a day I would.

36:38

I would go out practice handstands while listening to a podcast and then afterwards I would talk to at least one woman on my walk home.

36:47

Amazing before I got home. I would not every single day I talked to one woman, but my goal for the day Most days I did and my goal for the day was speak to at least one woman and start a conversation before you get back to your dorm.

37:00

I say amazing, not like I mean, i just want to like clarify that for me.

37:04

That's so out of my comfort zone.

37:07

You know that it really does amaze me.

37:12

I sit there and I go, whoa, that's, you did it.

37:14

You know, you really did that.

37:16

Yeah.

37:17

I guess I did something similar in the field, and I was field testing like a little maniac too, in the period between I read it and between MITT Yeah, mitt was, by the way, the kerosene explosion that happened was authenticity, yes, and also, oh, this is happening all the time.

37:33

Yeah, every individual with my family, with my siblings, with the women that I'm interested in, with the job opportunity, client opportunity, roommate, landlady, it's 24, seven and it's all pinned and you'll have the most leverage and the most light if you're authentic.

37:58

Yeah, boom, and that is.

38:02

Those are the ingredients of the explosion.

38:05

Yeah 100%, And then learning to be secure in your authenticity, because then you're like I don't know you really want me to bring that out.

38:12

That took a little while for me. That took a little while too, yeah, exactly.

38:14

Yeah.

38:15

So okay, so you'd go and by the time you're done, the park you'd be.

38:21

What kind of conversation you start with a random woman on the street without I mean, i know you're good at this, so you don't even come off like creepy or anything.

38:28

Yeah, I mean the easiest way to start a conversation and it's so overlooked, but, like for any guys or girls out there that want to practice connecting with people, the easiest way to start a conversation.

38:38

I love that, by the way.

38:39

Practice connecting with people. This is where this podcast is juice for everyone.

38:44

Yeah, it's like this is for all of us, not just guys going after girls, not girls.

38:49

It's like. no, guys, hey, we matter, everybody matters.

38:52

Learn people's names, remember them, repeat them to yourself.

38:55

You know like, say them back to the person.

38:58

It makes their day Like these little things. You know, we're in a world of parasocial relationships.

39:03

We're in a world where I'm friends with Gary Vee and Gary Vee doesn't know me.

39:06

Right, for the rest of us, when I see you at Starbucks, when we bump into each other on the street, when you're getting on a Lime Scooter, say something, especially if you have the impulse too.

39:14

Yeah, you know, sometimes, you know, and it's funny because people can get all like, oh, you're just forcing yourself, like that's not, you don't even care, like you're just doing it as an exercise or whatever.

39:24

Yeah, it's like guys, that's the training wheels, that's the training wheels, because how often did I have a natural thing Like, oh, my God, i love your shirt.

39:33

Oh, i love your shoes. Your shoes are so cool. You know, i just told you I bought these shoes off, like that I saw somebody else wearing.

39:37

Yeah, it's like I used to have these impulses and I would choke on them every time Yeah.

39:43

So this is a moment to be like look, i'm just gonna put some tricycle.

39:46

what is it Like training wheels? Training wheels on.

39:48

And dude. I talk about this in my coaching currently of I say to the guys that I coach, like I'm gonna give you a couple lines, a couple techniques, like the things the 80, 20, the 20% that I believe to be the most effective in terms of improving your outcomes socially and with women.

40:05

I'll give you some of that, but that's all just training wheels.

40:08

Like that is not the answer. You are the game Authenticity.

40:13

Keep going. Authenticity is the name of the game And you get to make the game like.

40:22

You get to create the game you wanna play and make the rules of that game.

40:26

These training wheels are only that.

40:28

They're only training wheels for you to use to get some initial results and reference experiences until you don't need them anymore.

40:38

And then who you are is the game And speaks for itself.

40:41

And that's what women, men, anyone who's looking for a partner.

40:46

What they wanna see is your authentic expression.

40:50

And when, people. Why is Gary V so helplessly compelling to millions?

40:54

Cause he is helplessly authentic And people feel that authenticity from him.

40:59

He's not a great looking dude Like in terms of all the things.

41:04

Classic markers.

41:05

Yeah, like he very much deviates from the stereotype.

41:10

He's so goofy. My description of Gary V is he thinks he's a rapper and he thinks he's a football coach.

41:17

And he also is very nice And he's pushing an agenda of being super nice.

41:23

So he's confused. He wants to be a super nice guy while channeling a gangster rap football coach.

41:31

But that is the definition of authenticity.

41:34

Who the hell is that?

41:36

Yeah, it's saying what you actually think in your head and putting those thoughts into words And like, obviously you get to be selective around how you express it in the words that you choose.

41:48

It's not to say you have full license to just say anything you want in the name of authenticity, cause that also can get toxic.

41:55

Yes, but going back Win win intention.

41:58

We talked about that before in the podcast. You want to carry around that win win intention, not say things that are people's expense and shit like that.

42:04

Right, that'll genuinely generally keep you in a good value, creating space.

42:10

Right, and to put it a little bit more specifically if you see a girl and you think to yourself, she's super hot, i'd love to fuck her, you don't lead, you don't open with oh my God, you're super hot, i'd love to fuck you.

42:23

Right Like that. That's what I mean.

42:26

Or even, you don't open with oh my God, you're super hot.

42:30

Right Like not that you couldn't necessarily open a conversation that way.

42:34

But what I mean is No, but it's true, people get stuck on that Just cause you think something doesn't mean, that's what you should say Yeah, yeah, yeah.

42:41

Right. But if you see someone in your and you think, as a man, oh my God, she's super hot, i would totally fuck her, then okay, that's a little signal that's pulling you towards that human being, for whatever reason, and if you can have the clarity of mind to have the intention to connect and not try to get something from her And discover.

43:08

Discover, yes, which comes from a way of being of curious and curiosity, and so this is where, honestly, a lot of guys go wrong.

43:17

Is they see a girl that's hot And the first thing they think in their mind is I would hit Right, like the male bod immediately goes to sex And we've immediately made a decision if a girl is hot enough that we want them.

43:32

That is already not true, because you've never met her.

43:37

And you have no idea who she is Exactly.

43:40

And she could fucking collect human toenails in a jar And you probably worship the devil in her basement.

43:47

Oh, my God, and you probably wouldn't still want to sleep with her if you knew that.

43:52

So the reality is.

43:53

It's the projection.

43:54

It's the projection We make a split second decision based on someone's looks, that we want them And that throws us off the intention of actually connecting with them.

44:03

Because now we want something from them.

44:05

We want her number, we want to get laid, we want to get in her pants, whatever it might be, and what I coach guys on is okay.

44:12

Just because she's hot doesn't mean she's worth your time.

44:19

Oh, wow, yeah, and it's not about her worthiness, it's about, it's about the right shoe fit And yeah, that was maybe a derogatory way of putting it.

44:30

Not necessarily.

44:30

Not to put her down. But it doesn't mean that you and her are a good match.

44:35

It doesn't mean you should want her to be with you or want to sleep with her just cause she's hot, cause you don't know who she is.

44:44

Right in Kabbalah, we might say like an experience that is for us, is for us, it's for you, and you want what's for you and you don't want what's not for you.

44:53

Basically, and when you toxically use the game, this is why the truth came out the book.

44:59

It's because what you're doing is you're reaching out across sort of like lanes.

45:05

You're getting out of your own lane, which is where you should be firmly the king of, to be the king of your lane.

45:10

But in the game, you're getting out of your lane and you're trying to reach and say gimme, gimme, taker, taker, for all these things that aren't necessarily for you.

45:18

And especially since you're disconnected from authenticity, your barometer for, like, being able to see what is or isn't your discernment is off.

45:27

It's gone Yeah.

45:29

And when you say she's not worth your time. This is why I want to just like lather respect all over.

45:34

That is it's about. If she's not for you, if she, if this isn't like the best, if this isn't divine, let's say, then you are wasting your time on something non-divine And you're dragging her into it.

45:50

Yeah Right, yeah, so anyway.

45:53

Yes, that's the framing that.

45:57

I understood what you were saying through, but I think it's important just to, like you know, make sure.

46:00

Well, thank you for lathering respect on that.

46:02

Cause I think that's also important. Oh, so sexy, lather it with respect.

46:08

Lather it up, baby. Yes, But where I was going with all of that is when you were acknowledging me for starting conversations and you're like you didn't say how did you do that?

46:19

But there was a-. Yeah implicit, implicit there of like how did you do that?

46:24

And starting a conversation is actually so easy.

46:27

It's so easy And you did it when you bought those shoes, when you saw the girl who had those shoes.

46:32

Totally, the first thing I coach guys on is well, actually the very first thing is making eye contact and smiling at everyone that they pass by in a given day for a week.

46:42

Making eye contact if they look back at you, smile at that person without ever starting a conversation or stopping.

46:48

That's where I start everyone, cause that alone is something most people don't do.

46:52

Yep.

46:53

And eye contact and smiling are the seeds of connection Solid, so we start there, but then it goes to.

47:00

Okay, now you're gonna start approaching women And the-.

47:06

Or people, or people, right, but I coach mainly men.

47:11

That being said, i have coached a few women. So if you're a woman out there, i can't work with women.

47:15

I do work with women, but whoever you're interested in, we're gonna start approaching those people.

47:21

Fantastic, and how do you do that?

47:24

Oh my God, what should I say? That's people's big question.

47:26

What should I say? Yeah, what should I say? And the reality is, it doesn't matter what you say At first, because if you ask somebody like, let's say, you ask a couple who's like four months into dating, and you ask the woman or the man, what was the first thing they said to you?

47:42

98% of the time they won't even remember.

47:45

That's such a good statistic. It's a made up statistic, by the way, but I actually did run that experiment in a clubhouse room where it was a room full.

47:54

It was a bunch of women. I forgot what the room was about, but I pulled the room and asked it was everyone?

48:02

a bunch of them were in relationships And I asked, like who here remembers what the first thing the guy said to you was?

48:09

And there's a bunch of guys in there too And I was like I made the point of like see, guys, we freak out over what should I say, especially in those first 30 seconds when the reality is she doesn't even remember, because she's taking in the information of your energy.

48:27

The energy that you're transmitting through your being is what she's taking in And her conscious rational mind is actually is on autopilot in those first moments, because she's trying to figure out am I safe, nice?

48:42

And at the beginning moments she doesn't know.

48:44

That's true, by the way, even if I'm approached by a guy, for example.

48:47

Like that happens, it's just a human to human moment.

48:49

We're taking in people's energy. We're figuring out can I trust them?

48:52

We're figuring out are they safe? We're figuring out what do they want from me?

48:56

All of those questions were using the nonverbal information to decipher it.

49:02

But then I have people walk up to someone they're interested in.

49:06

Give them a compliment, a genuine compliment.

49:09

If you can't find something to compliment, you're not looking hard enough.

49:13

Nice Because there's always something, and even if it's, you look beautiful today or you look handsome today, even if you just think they're hot and that's the thing you wanna compliment like, go for it Yeah.

49:26

Right, and then I have them give the compliment and walk away Nice.

49:32

And say just wanted to let you know. Have a great day.

49:35

Nice, You know, I was gonna say that you just fucking nailed it Because I was like well, Noah, you always used to front load that moment.

49:44

So it really comes down to it needs to be weightless, A weightless moment, Right, and that's practicing not wanting something.

49:52

At the same time, it's practicing not wanting anything.

49:54

Like I don't need anything from you, right, because a lot of guys that come to me for coaching and just guys in general, people in general there's a needy element that they give off.

50:06

It's a lack driven thing. Yeah, it can be When we talk about that neediness and that, like heavy handedness, it's coming from connection to lack 100%, yeah, 100%, but that's how to get over the neediness Totally.

50:18

The point that I'm getting at is like if you practice giving a compliment and walking away, you're practicing creating connection without needing anything in return.

50:27

Yeah, and that's what neediness is. Is I need your validation or your attention in order to feel okay?

50:34

Right.

50:35

And calm within myself Right. Losing formula Yeah, And it's like people who are needy.

50:39

It's like what? When they're not getting the attention or the validation from somebody else, they start to feel disturbed internally.

50:48

Yeah, And then they try to clutch for that attention validation.

50:51

Grabbing the rock Affection While the river is rolling Right Clinging onto it.

50:56

Grab the rock, yeah.

50:58

And so like. To me, that's the essence, the energetic essence of what neediness is.

51:03

You know, this is awesome like spiritual practice.

51:05

I'm not sure which tradition I got this from, but I heard it And it's basically like going around giving people little blessings And you can do it in your head even Like where you're, like I mean, i say thank you at Starbucks and stuff, but like you can literally like be in line at Starbucks and go one person at a time and be like I wish you have a good day, i wish you have a good day, i wish you have a good day And what you're doing is training yourself first of all to experience yourself as a full cup Right, instead of thinking about lack or all the shit that's in your way or blah, blah, blah, whatever.

51:33

You're a little broadcast signal of like boom light, boom light, boom light, and so that is kind of priming you for this moment.

51:45

Of like showing up to that as not in a taker mode, but here's a little gift.

51:49

You're used to giving people, these little gifts, these little blessings, throughout the day.

51:53

Yeah.

51:54

And you need nothing in return.

51:55

You know, giving the gift of attraction And that's what I call that exercise of giving a compliment and walking away.

52:01

I call it giving the gift of attraction And that's a big part of what my whole coaching is based on.

52:06

Is attraction is a gift, and that's what I use to help guys get over for anyone that fear of rejection.

52:13

Can you expand on that?

52:14

Yeah, attraction is a gift. Think about when you experience the feeling of somebody else being attracted to you Right, even if you are not attracted to them, even if you don't want anything to develop between the two of you.

52:31

When somebody says genuinely, without getting treated to the truth, genuinely gives you a compliment, right, whether it's they like what you're wearing, whether it's you know they like how you look Your style.

52:42

Whatever it is that they're complimenting on you, it's an expression of attraction to your being, your style, whatever it might be.

52:49

Attraction does something about who you are Right And when you for anyone listening.

52:54

Think about when you've been on the receiving end of somebody giving you a compliment or thinking you are attractive.

53:01

How does it feel It?

53:05

feels good. It feels good. Uplifting For me it feels good.

53:08

I think for most people it feels uplifting to the spirit.

53:11

Most people are stuck in their heads thinking about a million problems they have.

53:15

So when someone interrupts their day and you are interrupting like I call it like being a welcomed interruption, Oh nice To their day Because you're interrupting whatever they're doing.

53:26

When you're walking up to a stranger, but you're a welcomed interruption, Right, They're in the middle of their head thinking about God knows what.

53:32

Yeah, They're coming in giving the gift of attraction And I literally think about it as your compliment is like this wrapped gift that you're walking up to them and handing to a stranger And by expressing your attraction to them, they experience an uplifting sensation that truly is a gift.

53:54

That's so cool. I mean, you know, man, there's so much baked into that.

53:57

First of all, just the way that you embodied it right now as you were discussing it, is like oh well, that's why it works.

54:02

Fucking Dylan, You know, because he's being completely real, Like that was.

54:06

You know, that's yes, you literally see it that way.

54:08

So at that point you can say what the fuck you want, Right, You literally just gave somebody an ethereal gift.

54:12

Like you know, there's no way around it.

54:13

That's how I see it.

54:15

So that's pretty hilarious. Yeah, it was great.

54:19

There's some other things wrapped up in it too.

54:21

Attraction, specifically around attraction.

54:25

Yeah.

54:26

You know, i realized way later in the journey that there was this nuanced element happening where I was embarrassed to admit that attraction because it meant implicitly that first of all I'm a sexual being and that I have desire, and it took me a long time to realize that that implicit communication was too vulnerable for me, too intimate, which is not good.

54:51

Because you're trapped, you can't tell people that you think they're cool or desire them.

54:56

I was in the same boat.

54:57

You were in the same boat too. That's why I always got friends owned. Yeah, it was too vulnerable for me to admit that I was actually attracted to someone I had desire, because I felt like, if they said no, my entire identity was thrown into question.

55:09

Right, Yeah, wow, jbp, who I don't necessarily condone lately, but I think he had a lot of contributions and has, you know, live on the Internet right now.

55:21

Yeah, jordan has this thing where he says, like you know, about being in relationship with beauty and how being in relationship with beauty, whatever that is to you, is a relationship with divinity.

55:35

And that beauty can be very confrontational, because, internally, when you're in relationship to what you are oriented to believe is beauty, then it kind of highlights all the spots where you're not behaving at that level or embodying that beauty.

55:48

And that's kind of what we're getting to here, which is like when you say to someone or whatever like hey, this is you know, this is.

55:58

I believe in this preference, you're my preference, you're my desire, i'm attracted.

56:02

Then there might like even with your, i got it, guy friends.

56:06

Yeah, oh my God, this girl. Oh, i'm so excited, she's so hot.

56:09

Oh, yeah, let me see. Oh, that one.

56:15

Oh.

56:15

Dylan has this taste. That's a sinking feeling as a guy, dylan has this kind of type Blah, blah, blah, right, and JBP, he's like what's the matter with you, right?

56:26

And he says it in terms of style, like so you make like a choice, Like I put the banana on the wall, right, and it's like some people might look at that and go like ugh, this guy, why you put a banana on his wall And you got to be able to tank that.

56:40

You know, you got to be able to say, well, because I like bananas and I thought it was cool and I'm actually not going to take it down just because you feel that way.

56:46

But I appreciate your feedback, you know.

56:49

But until you have that, or maybe as you're developing that, it can be a bit confrontational to put the thing on the wall 100%.

56:58

And it scales. It scales to even order.

57:01

Even cleaning this is what JBP.

57:03

Again, cleaning your room Just you're getting your life together can be confrontational to friends of yours and all kinds of other people that don't want to.

57:11

Yeah. You know, it's like oh shit, what are you doing?

57:14

Why are you introducing beauty into my life, that kind of thing?

57:16

Anyway, sorry I got on a tangent. The point is you were so embodied in it that I was like dude, this guy's channeling like a lot.

57:23

In that little moment, and that little gift moment, like so much is coming across Self-confidence.

57:29

I am a value, i have value. Here's a gift.

57:31

It's a gift. It looks like this, it's pretty, it's beautiful.

57:34

I'm doing it for you and I'm out of here, yeah, and I'm curious.

57:38

I love that The curiosity is really.

57:41

I preach curiosity all day long because that's where it's the difference between being interesting and being interested.

57:52

Oh, please expand.

57:54

I love it.

57:54

I've heard it, but I want it. There's a great story about this, and it's a story that's told in the book The Art of Seduction, so I'm ripping it from that book Fair enough.

58:04

Robert Green is one of my favorite authors. He wrote a book called The Art of Seduction And I think it's Benjamin Disraeli is the person who this story is about.

58:15

So, basically, there's a political dinner happening like a gala, think of it And there's this one woman who's in the high court.

58:26

Basically She's part of the royal family And she's single, so she has multiple male suitors, potential male suitors, that want to talk to her at this gala, and Benjamin Disraeli was I don't remember the details, but he was in politics at the time and he was known for being a great politician of, i think, like the Queen Victoria era And instead of and.

58:54

He had a lot of accomplishments and a lot of.

58:57

He was in the military and had a lot of military exploits that he got a lot of valor from and all that.

59:04

But instead of going up to this woman, the princess or whatever she was instead of going up to him her and talking all about himself, he made her the focus of the conversation And he was sitting to her right And then there was another guy that was sitting across from her And they both talked to her for a good amount of time that evening And at the end of the evening, one of the woman's friends comes up to her and says I saw you talking to Disraeli and I saw you talking to this other guy.

59:45

What were they like? What did you like about them?

59:47

And she starts off by saying well, the other guy, he was one of the most interesting men that I've ever met.

59:57

He did all of these things, he went on all these raids and war and he's made all of this money and I forgot.

1:00:05

That's cool Because it's the best case scenario for that guy. Right, he came off interesting and not like a dick.

1:00:09

Right, he came off super interesting.

1:00:12

She felt like, oh my God, he was one of the most interesting men I've ever met.

1:00:15

And then she said well, what about the other guy?

1:00:18

What about Benjamin Disraeli? And she smiled and she said he made me feel like the most interesting person in the room.

1:00:30

And I just got chills as I said that, because it's such a different approach And talk about a gift And a gift And it's like the difference between trying to impress and coming off as interesting or coming off as high value or coming off as whatever you want that person to think.

1:00:48

You are the difference between that and having your intention be to get to know her and make her feel like the most interesting person in the room or, at the very least, the only person who your attention is focused on.

1:01:03

Yeah That, even if it's just about presence.

1:01:06

That is the gift.

1:01:08

And if a woman or a man walks away from a conversation feeling like they were the most interesting person, by the way that you extracted information from them, and not extract in a manipulative way, but just by the way you engage with them, it's game over, invited them to shine their light And gave them a space to receive it.

1:01:33

You know.

1:01:34

Uncover their repressed gifts.

1:01:38

Wow, they were, yes, that's like max value.

1:01:42

But also just listen to their known gifts.

1:01:44

That's another version. True, True, but uncovered.

1:01:48

Their repressed gifts is like now your wizard territory. You're like doing something real.

1:01:51

You went after it in that conversation, a hundred percent.

1:01:56

But yeah, that's the difference between being interested and being interesting.

1:02:02

As we're getting to the end of the podcast, i want to say, like how cool to finally, in the most overt way, be talking about World of Warcraft gaming.

1:02:13

You know, field testing, not just being an armchair guy, but out there like trying things out, poking the fabric of reality.

1:02:21

For me, one of the craziest things. I got an Oculus Rift headset like two and a half years ago Oh shit, i don't think you did.

1:02:28

I put it on and I was in VR.

1:02:31

I just I had to try all the apps.

1:02:34

You know, like I just kept going. So I did like 11 hours on the first day and I think I did like eight hours on the second day and by the third day I had super VR sickness.

1:02:41

It was bad, like I took the headset VR sickness you're not sick in it, you're sick when you're out.

1:02:46

Yeah, yeah, i've had it once.

1:02:49

Rough. So anyway, i just I went way too hard.

1:02:51

Way too hard.

1:02:52

Yeah, i didn't stop. I took a day off or whatever to reset from the sickness and I went back in and then the last game I discovered on it was a multiplayer game, i think it was called Echo VR and you could like fly around a space station and like shoot people and stuff, yeah, and you're all these little robots, but in this game it was multiplayer and and you could talk to each other, so it was like live voice comms And then, obviously, like the sound was being generated based on your direction and where the other person was, et cetera, very immersive.

1:03:21

Hmm, didn't matter that it was low grade graphics and that your robots very immersive, wow, so you're kind of like in this environment pushing off walls and shooting people, grabbing people, and you can actually grab their bodies and you're in zero gravity, right, so you can like move around their bodies and shit.

1:03:34

I was so immersed I took the headset off and I walked out into my living room and my brain was like these are avatars, these aren't real people.

1:03:43

Yeah, and I dude, literally. It was so dissociative and unnerving that I put it away and I haven't touched a sense.

1:03:49

It's literally. The whole console was in a trash bag in the garage covered in dirt and dust for the last two years.

1:03:54

It can be extremely disorienting.

1:03:57

That said, that said, that is life A game, a fun, interactive What's the word?

1:04:05

Immersive experience.

1:04:07

Yes.

1:04:08

They say in West Rose, a relentless fucking experience.

1:04:12

Right, like that's it, you know.

1:04:15

And so God mode is all about fucking turning on that cheat code, going through it like a warm knife through butter.

1:04:21

You know what I mean? Yeah, it's just a little gifts I also.

1:04:25

I mean, for me it's just about the like the players It's not supposed to be.

1:04:29

it's not like the top of the leaderboard necessarily but how are?

1:04:32

everyone plays the game. How does anyone play the game?

1:04:35

How are you getting through today and tomorrow, et cetera, et cetera.

1:04:37

We're all playing some kind of game in life, which is why I love this podcast title of like the players guide to life.

1:04:43

Like we're all playing a game all day long And if we're conscious about this is the game I'm playing, then we can attract other people who also play that game Hell yeah.

1:04:55

Cause we can only attract people who play the same game as us.

1:04:58

Yes, and in another episode I was talking about the infinite game, where every it's a win-win infinite game for everyone, and the goal is for the game to go on into the future and for everyone to join in and play.

1:05:09

Yeah, that's a good game to hone it in your sights on.

1:05:13

The people you're going to attract are great human beings, great people, basically, that are also playing a fucking win-win game.

1:05:18

Also in the midst of this infinite game, Dude next level.

1:05:22

Well, thank you so much for coming on. We have so much more to talk about.

1:05:25

For sure We do One of the most.

1:05:27

One of my fear things about today's session was how much I had not already heard.

1:05:31

I did not every time leading up to the podcast and I've only done four, but every single time I'm always like, well, what are we going to talk about?

1:05:40

And you and I talked about that a little bit like, oh, we're going to structure it, this is that and the other thing, yeah And sure, shit, boom.

1:05:46

And it's a really rich session where we get our relationship deepened on the podcast In front of all of you.

1:05:55

That's the bomb, dude. That's what we're here for. Thank you for having me, brother 100%.

1:05:59

It's been a true honor.

1:06:01

Dude, potentially the first and last in this room.

1:06:03

True pleasure And to everyone listening.

1:06:06

I want to leave you with the message of being a walking invitation for connection.

1:06:13

Yes.

1:06:14

In your daily life you are, you are passing by strangers that you have the opportunity to connect with, And one of the things that I find so fascinating about our modern world is there's this awkwardness around starting a conversation with a stranger that I wish everyone would seek to overcome and be the exception in overcoming that awkwardness and initiating conversation being a walking beacon for connection.

1:06:50

So basically, to paraphrase what you're saying, is comment like subscribe, join Gen Chat and be a fucking good person in Gen Chat, don't be a degenerate 100%.

1:07:01

Boom.

1:07:02

Podcast over.

1:07:04

Complete Yes, yes, wow.