0:00

I had a guy who, I had done a TV show

0:02

that day, like I had been a guest on a show.

0:04

Okay. And then I saw him at the Comedy Store later and

0:06

I started talking to him about something that happened during the show and he goes, I

0:08

don't talk about work when I'm not in work. And

0:11

I went, and I

0:13

put my shoulder to him for about six months. Like

0:15

every time I saw him I was like, bam,

0:18

bam, bam. Okay, tell

0:21

me the truth. Do people make fun

0:24

of my podcast lighting behind my back? Yes, the

0:26

only reason I know that, the only reason I

0:28

know that is because they go, you and Whitney,

0:30

blah, blah, blah. I'm like, guys, I

0:33

don't have time to go get, go to a med spa

0:35

and get my face done. So I put some fucking light

0:37

on. Okay, so tell me how, is it bad? Because here's

0:39

the thing. We look great, I don't fucking care. Sorry,

0:42

it's my podcast, I want my face to look

0:44

out with my face on. If I didn't have

0:46

amazing lighting in here, you guys would say that

0:48

I'm an unfiltered, haggard, and.

0:51

I love that you think the light has something to do with

0:53

your personality. It's blowing

0:55

out your personality. That doesn't erase all

0:58

my, that doesn't make me less

1:00

shrill. I thought it had an audio effect. No,

1:02

I like to be just very well lit. But

1:05

it's also not just for me, it's for the guests.

1:07

I didn't want the guests to have to like wear.

1:09

No, they don't understand. Professional makeup. They don't understand what

1:11

it's like when you have a guest, come on. I'm

1:13

a martyr, okay? I'm an American hero. I did this

1:15

for the guests, not for me. But do you know

1:17

how many guests I've had come on? All women, no

1:19

offense. Come onto my Swallow

1:22

podcast and go, I

1:24

can't post this clip. The

1:27

lighting's bad. And I, it

1:29

was my wrong side. Speaking of sides, up,

1:32

up, up. Up, up, up.

1:35

Up, up, up, up. You

1:37

have a symmetrical face. I

1:39

really don't. You

1:42

do. Annie just,

1:44

if there's a throne in the room,

1:46

Annie needs to be sitting in it.

1:48

You're not even your throne. Wait a

1:50

minute, but that's not as well lit on

1:52

that side. I'm kidding. Okay, so Annie is

1:54

maybe the only person that I will allow

1:56

to sit in my throne

1:58

and kick my dog. And

2:01

wear sunglasses. Okay, do

2:03

you want to take that shirt off? That was the

2:05

shirt I was gonna wear. I can't guys. By

2:07

the way, this is the shirt we picked. This is the

2:10

one and So imagine what

2:12

we saw before this. Annie? If we picked that one.

2:14

I picked a couple shirts to put on and she

2:16

just went That's not it. That's not it. That's not

2:18

it. I don't know what. You

2:22

need someone here with you. You know what? I

2:25

kind of miss the jealous female

2:27

comedians that are trying to sabotage.

2:29

That's the one. I'd

2:32

like the comments to be about us and our relationship

2:34

and not your outfit. Well

2:36

this is what I was gonna wear. That's

2:38

cute. It's a shirt with dogs

2:40

and rhinestones on it. My agent every time I

2:42

talked to him. He's like I can tell he's like

2:44

lying to me. His voice goes up. I

2:46

go did you switch these issues? No! Why

2:50

did you just go through puberty when you said that? It's so

2:53

funny. I mean my style at this point

2:55

is is only designed to repel men. I'm

2:57

not sure. I mean I'm very fertile. We learned

2:59

that this year. Which is wild. You just have

3:01

to repel men at all costs. Isn't it wild?

3:03

Did you ever get pregnant before? It

3:06

when I was a teenager. Oh really? I never

3:08

even got teen pregnant. Oh really? No, I never

3:10

got teen pregnant. Why not? I

3:12

don't know. So I was just like I guess I'm not fertile and

3:14

then I went and got like my eggs and stuff checked I'm like

3:17

you're very fertile. Huh? They

3:19

say I'm entering my thirties. Okay,

3:22

so Annie is putting on my baby's

3:24

sunglasses. Don't they look cute? Don't they

3:27

fit perfect? This

3:30

is how regular sunglasses look at my wide white. It's

3:32

so hard to get glasses. So I got these glasses.

3:35

I was like these are gonna be so cool. Do

3:37

you think they just get what? Glasses

3:39

for midgets and make them in the same factories and

3:41

ones for babies? Like these

3:43

are Brad Williams. Yeah. I

3:45

will come a little person. I don't know why she would say the M

3:47

word. No, I was gonna say Tony Hinsfield. Tony

3:52

Hinsfield likes his sunglasses. We can't make fun of the

3:54

kids. Sorry, Tony. I love you. I have to set

3:56

this on here because no pictures came out. But

3:58

when I first went to Texas this, even

4:01

before the mothership was open and stuff, Tony

4:03

had been bragging about his he

4:06

was like, so proud of his like, 2021

4:08

Corvette. So I rented a 2022 Corvette

4:11

and showed up with

4:17

a Corvette that was one year better than his. And

4:19

there's no physical evidence of this happening.

4:22

It was my number one troll and

4:24

it was so good. The pictures disappeared

4:26

somehow. Because you know

4:28

how digital pictures don't develop sometimes. But it

4:30

was one of my most epic trolls. That is

4:32

so I

4:37

got a red one, he had a yellow one.

4:39

It was like ketchup and mustard. I love like

4:41

a real big prank that once you're doing it,

4:44

you're like, this is such a big

4:46

thing. I'm just picturing you in the rental Corvette

4:48

like going over speed bump and you're and you're

4:50

like, still worth it. No,

4:52

what a nightmare to be in at the tiniest.

4:54

By the way, why people with midlife

4:57

prices get short cars. What is it with

4:59

men when they get money? No car

5:02

color is good enough for them. I

5:04

know you they always go with like a

5:06

weird like a not color. Yes, it's like

5:08

a non it's like a color that would

5:11

be like the base that you would paint.

5:13

It's like a black, gray matte. Like if

5:15

you hold on a carpet, whatever that floor

5:17

would look like underneath is like, they're like,

5:19

that's the color. Like how they cue streethors

5:22

that they have cat like what is the

5:25

purpose of having a car? I think it's

5:27

just showing that not shiny. But also, okay,

5:29

Matt, I've been attracted to I've never done it. I

5:32

know. But it's just like, we know that

5:34

you took your car to a place, left

5:36

it there for three days paid what like

5:38

six grand to look you obviously looked into

5:40

it, you know, exactly how much it costs.

5:42

It's like a vanity license plate. I'm like

5:44

you filled out the paperwork. But isn't it?

5:46

Isn't it weird that the people that like

5:48

to look at the reflections the most take

5:50

the reflection? True. It's a very good point. They

5:52

don't want other

5:54

people to look at themselves in their car. I don't know

5:56

what it is. They obviously want people to know it's your

5:58

car. So then it's like you're kind of just making yourself

6:01

a target. That's what I would think. Why would you want

6:03

that? To rob you. Why would you want that? Why would

6:05

you want people to know what your car is? Because when

6:07

I first got my, this was another troll I was gonna

6:09

do against Tony, but when I first got my Tesla, I

6:11

was gonna get the license plate iROSE

6:13

II because Tony's old Corvette used to

6:15

say iROSE. So I was gonna

6:18

say iROSE for the number two. And then

6:20

I was like, I don't want people to know my car, but. Yeah,

6:22

that's the thing. Women don't do that. We don't want you

6:24

to know our car. Yeah, we're gonna roast when they set

6:26

us on fire. But

6:29

what, I also am seeing a lot of purple

6:32

car. I'm seeing a lot of purple. Look,

6:34

I'm so tacky. You know when I first

6:36

got my car, I wanted the things I

6:39

wanted, the things I wanted. I wanted to

6:41

get like that really tacky, like, the

6:45

fatigues that are like pink, like

6:48

the army fatigue, but in pink. I

6:50

like girl fatigue. We get it. You're a Republican now.

6:52

We got it. That's clear. That's

6:54

very obvious. No, I meant it more

6:56

like from the Choutinham Mall. OK.

6:59

Do you know what I mean? I meant it more like.

7:01

But for the seats? No, I

7:03

wanted to get a wrap. OK. And

7:06

maybe iridescent. Hannah Stockin

7:08

has the iridescent car. But Hannah,

7:10

it looks cool. But like at

7:13

the end of the day, when you're backing up

7:15

and can't like, you just look even more dumb.

7:18

You know, like she'll be like backing out of

7:20

my driveway and like kind of not like doing

7:22

the awesome powers. And it's like the fact that

7:24

your car is iridescent. Like you

7:26

have to be such a good, cool driver.

7:28

Yeah. To pull it off. Otherwise, like very

7:31

crazy. I don't want cops to remember my

7:33

car when they're like, saw me go through a

7:35

stop sign or whatever. By the way, I just

7:37

had to do traffic school. Why comedy traffic school?

7:39

I was thinking about it was actually so easy

7:41

and you just do it online. I thought it was going to be a

7:43

whole problem. No, what was the the offense?

7:45

Transgression. I rolled through

7:47

a stop sign. Uh-huh. You were

7:49

rolling. I was rolling. I was on Molly.

7:53

Which by the way, I think I would be a good

7:55

driver on Molly. I've never done Molly. Oh, really? Not one

7:57

time. I wonder what we're going to do together. thing

8:00

I will do my whole thing with new

8:02

drugs moving forward is that we just have to

8:04

do it on a live podcast. So

8:06

we have to monetize I will do

8:08

Molly with you on a live podcast.

8:11

I'm in. We should do it

8:13

like a moment house. I could only do it for public

8:15

consumption this point or it doesn't count as

8:17

a drug. Do you see

8:19

the mistake with these? Where I then

8:21

gold trim I thought was gonna be cool

8:23

but it just makes it matches my face

8:25

color so it makes it look these are

8:27

sunglasses that she is wearing that used

8:29

to belong to Stevie Wonder at some

8:31

point. What are these? I just

8:34

these were a birthday present I got myself. Okay.

8:36

Okay. But

8:39

wait, so let's go back. I've never done Molly.

8:41

I've never done cocaine but I feel like that

8:43

ship has sailed. Coke is like not

8:45

for us. No. We're already that

8:48

have don't have what we have.

8:50

People already think I'm on coke. It's too much. And

8:52

I also don't want to start any new businesses. Do you

8:54

know what happens? You know what happens with coke?

8:56

What? You die of fentanyl. You're

8:59

already talking fast and then you it's almost

9:01

like you've dubbed yourself. It's just like but

9:04

does it feel good or do you feel like I think

9:06

it's just for people who drink a lot basically. Drink a

9:08

lot? And they're drunk and they want to be able to

9:10

keep drinking so it sobers them up a little bit. Does

9:12

it feel like Adderall? Yeah,

9:14

it's kind of like Adderall. It's just it's really

9:16

just like it's just not for us. Everybody I

9:18

know that did a lot of cocaine they now

9:20

have to get like their nose reconstructing

9:23

from like skin on their lower back.

9:25

Yeah. And I'm like you know what?

9:27

I'm like let's take your lower rib. They're

9:29

like we need to take some skin from

9:31

your ankle and put it in your nose

9:33

because it collapsed. I'm like yuck. Yeah coke

9:35

and I did coke in college

9:38

and I think the things I liked about it were

9:40

like the cooler older kids were doing it. That made me

9:42

feel like I was fitting in. It makes you more

9:44

confident. Well it's not that I

9:46

made my mark. I was talking to more

9:48

people but it wasn't I never had a

9:50

problem talking to people. Interesting. So for me

9:52

it was like I really love like genuine

9:54

connection talking to people learning about them finding

9:56

what we have in common. Yeah. So I

9:58

would feel like so. hungover that way, like

10:01

morally hungover. Like I just talked to like

10:03

just random people about random stuff that didn't matter, you know,

10:05

it was like a fake fall. But then when you hung

10:08

out with them without cocaine were you like, oh you're dead?

10:10

I never saw them again. People like in

10:12

a warehouse. I don't even know. I would

10:14

wake up, I would wake up with like

10:16

all these new numbers and my little T9

10:19

phone, my little like, my little flip phone,

10:21

I would have, like I quit, I quit

10:23

drinking before iPhone.

10:26

I knew I couldn't do Adderall anymore

10:29

when I would have phone numbers. I was like

10:31

going out, like having a couple drinks. And you

10:33

have too many numbers. They have too many numbers

10:35

but they're always like Mark Redhead, Mark Philly's fan. This

10:37

is exactly what I was about to say. Jenny Mole

10:39

on her G. I have worse, okay? Because it would

10:41

go, it would be all these new names and then

10:43

next to it would say pool party, which means I

10:45

fucking put a pool party together. I didn't have a

10:47

pool bitch. I didn't have a pool. I was like,

10:49

I'll find us a pool, don't worry. And I remember

10:52

I'd always say to people, I'm not just saying this

10:54

because I'm on coke. I mean this. I do not

10:56

mean this. Is

10:59

it true, a true fact, I'm a

11:01

scientist now, that whatever you say

11:03

you're not doing and whatever you say you're not

11:05

is exactly what you are. I

11:07

feel like that is the new way for people to tell

11:10

on themselves. People are like, look, I'm not crazy. Got

11:13

it. Look, I'm not a liar. I

11:15

don't lie. If you're justifying something, it means,

11:17

okay, so if someone's insulting you about something

11:19

that's not true, you would go, isn't that

11:21

weird? They're saying something that's not like my

11:23

lady's not that bright in

11:25

my podcast. You know, you know,

11:27

I'm sure women gorgeous. So

11:30

that's just gorgeous. No, but it's like, you know,

11:32

if they're saying something that doesn't you don't doesn't

11:34

resonate is true to you, then you're not going to

11:36

get triggered or offended by it. Right. Right. Right. So if

11:38

they're triggered by something and to the point where

11:40

you have to defend yourself, then it's something that

11:42

you call me crazy. I'm like, probably. Yeah. Or if

11:44

someone's like, are you a liar? And I'm like, yeah,

11:46

sometimes you just lie. You're like, I'm five minutes away. You

11:49

know what I mean? Like, I don't think you're a liar. You wouldn't

11:51

be like, I don't lie. I don't think you're a liar. We

11:53

all lie all the time, but kind of by accident. You're like,

11:56

I'll call you tomorrow. But you know, like a liar, you know, when

11:58

you meet a liar in the betrayal. when you

12:00

meet a liar and you're like, could you like-

12:03

But is it a lie if you

12:05

think it's true? Like when I'm like, I'll call

12:07

you tomorrow. Like in my head, I really want

12:10

to. Right, and then there's

12:12

me that will track you down. Oh,

12:14

you think you're not gonna call me? But

12:16

also, it's also, I'm gonna call you tomorrow.

12:18

Like I know I'm not, but I'm really

12:20

gonna try. But you believe- I believe I

12:22

will- Or you're trying to get off the

12:24

phone. Yeah, there's also that. Like I'm in

12:26

the middle of something. That is technically a

12:28

lie. I do want to get off the

12:30

phone. But there's certain things that I'd rather

12:32

lie a little bit than be like, I

12:34

would like to hang up now. Yeah.

12:36

Which I totally- Which feels too mean. I used

12:38

to go in the comedy store because I decided

12:41

there was a point where I was gonna stop hugging people and not

12:43

do small talk. And I was like, I'm just gonna tell the

12:45

truth. I'm just gonna be authentic. Like the truth will never hurt

12:48

as long as it's true. And I got

12:50

so much for it. And I'm still recovering from like

12:52

going in and Eric Griffin love you. But he'd be

12:54

like, hey, and I was like, oh, I'm actually not

12:56

hugging anymore. That's so funny to quit hugging. I just

12:58

was like, oh, you know what? I'm good on hugging.

13:00

Like I'm actually just not hugging. So quit hugging is

13:02

so funny. I thought it was gonna go over great.

13:05

But you're triggering them that they're like mom wound

13:07

or something. Well, cause they're also like their wing

13:09

spans out. And I'm like, ah, I actually quit

13:11

hugging. It is actually so disgusting what we do

13:13

at a comedy club. It's so disgusting. But it's

13:15

also like, I saw you yesterday. Hugs are for

13:18

like, I haven't seen you in months. You're my

13:20

family. There's so much hugging. There's so much breathing

13:22

on microphones that we're giving to each other. And

13:25

then I tried to quit small talk and I was

13:27

like, oh, this is gonna liberate everybody from having to ask.

13:29

No one wants to hear about your flight, dude. When

13:31

someone's like, how's your flight? It's like, I have to

13:33

read, I don't wanna know the answer. We just say

13:35

it because we think we have to say it.

13:37

It's just like this silly formality. Who is asking

13:40

you about your flight? Well, you know, or like

13:42

when someone, like, yes. Eric Griffin, grow up. She

13:45

gets some better content, okay? She's not hugging you

13:47

and she's not talking about her flight. When someone's

13:49

like, how's your flight? I'm like, do you mind

13:51

if I don't tell you? Because I just had to live

13:53

it. But also it's like, the only story I would have

13:55

is if it was bad and I don't need to say

13:58

it. You don't care. Yeah. I'm

14:00

saying we don't have to do this like I'm big on a

14:02

we don't have to do this Yeah, let's like move on. Let's

14:05

move on to big talk like let's move on to something interesting

14:07

I had the funniest thing happen on a flight. I Interrupted

14:09

you sorry. No, I was you're like, well, no,

14:12

I think this was before we became close friends

14:14

where people would just like Hey, so like what

14:16

are you working on and I would just say

14:18

I don't do small talk Would

14:20

you like to talk about something like is there anything else? Do

14:23

you have any other questions? Like

14:29

our Philly would come out They're just like

14:32

ponytails being pulled But it was like

14:34

people that I kind of knew where I thought I was

14:36

liberating them of like Oh, we don't have to do that

14:38

I had a guy who I had done a TV show

14:40

that day like I had been a guest on a show

14:42

and he was like the Produced

14:46

my segment or whatever and was like helping me write

14:48

my jokes or whatever for the show Okay,

14:50

and then I saw him at the commie store later and I started talking

14:52

to him about something that happened in the show And he goes I

14:54

don't talk about work when I'm not in work and I and I and

14:57

I went And

14:59

I put my shoulder to him for about six months

15:01

like every time I was like I

15:08

was like I will I was so mad.

15:10

I was like we're at the comedy store. We're still

15:12

at work I know I'm like when do you work

15:14

my work? Yeah, I guess you're not past but also

15:16

like you're doesn't count it work Talking

15:19

to you feels like work I was

15:21

with you two hours ago And I have an anecdote

15:23

that only you will understand because you were the only

15:25

one in the room also Wait,

15:27

what was the question again? What

15:29

what did how did it go today? Or what was I was

15:32

just asking? I was like brought something up about

15:34

that just been like yeah, it was a black

15:36

like he could have just changed the subject Yeah,

15:38

it was just so fun. I was like and

15:40

we're done that I just feel like but that

15:42

is also I mean I am

15:44

so done with people who are just

15:46

dickheads being like I have Asperger's I'm

15:49

not everyone's autistic I know right everyone's

15:51

autistic We used to just call it

15:53

a dickhead have you seen? People

15:56

think I'm deadpan. I'm not deadpan. I have a

15:59

little Asperger's I

16:01

have a little Botox, a lot

16:03

of Asperger. I have no Botox. You

16:06

really don't. I've never gotten it. People say

16:08

that I look better now because when you're pregnant you

16:10

can't get Botox, so I haven't gotten it for like

16:12

a year and I think I look better. I'm sure

16:15

there's someone that's like maybe we can get myself and

16:17

the baby at the same time. Yeah,

16:19

I think you look amazing. I think you look younger

16:21

than me and I will not have it. No, I

16:23

will suck your dick right now. You have never looked

16:26

better. You're ravishing. It's crazy. I

16:28

mean, only I feel like I might

16:30

be the only one that can do this, but

16:32

I really, I grab your juicy booty a lot.

16:34

I go up, I can't help myself. I can't

16:36

help myself. We've completely switched bodies. You look unbelievable.

16:38

I love you. You've been doing like a 90s

16:40

thing. You just show up. You came to the

16:42

green room of the Comedy Store once and you

16:44

were wearing jeans and like... You mean four days

16:46

after I gave birth. No, it's crazy. Never

16:49

looked hotter. Placenta dragging behind her. Umbilical

16:53

cord. Lactating. Throwing over her

16:55

shoulder. Lactating all over the

16:57

place. But it's crazy and you

16:59

look so happy. I love you. So do you.

17:02

My dog bites. Can I tell you, we're getting prettier

17:04

than you get older. Everyone's going to be stupid

17:06

cunts. I can't help it. No, I'm just telling

17:08

you, it's not cute to say that when you're like in your

17:10

early 20s, but it's like triumphant

17:12

for us. Well, I hooked up with

17:14

my ex-boyfriend from college. We never had

17:16

sex in college. Okay. Because

17:19

I was coming off of a little bit of a

17:21

traumatizing event in high school, so we never actually f***ed,

17:23

but I did. Let's just say I learned to suck

17:25

a dick on that dick and he got it. He

17:27

honestly got like the best. I mean, I've never blown anyone in

17:30

more my life. I think it's where I developed my TMJ. But

17:33

years later, I like went through a breakup. I was

17:35

like, you know, 32 maybe

17:39

or something, you know, and I was feeling

17:41

so good. I was so confident. I really

17:43

like loved my body. I was like, so

17:45

excited to go back and finally bang him.

17:48

And he pulls me outside afterwards. Like we

17:50

hook up, we have this night together and

17:52

he like, he's like, oh, let's like look

17:54

at old pictures. So he like brings

17:56

me in and I'm like sitting with him in front of his

17:58

computer and he's like pulling up. these like old pictures of us

18:00

and he finds this picture of me from when I'm 21 he

18:02

goes God you were like so

18:05

hot when you were 21 and I was like

18:07

I hate you so much. I just was like

18:10

this person doesn't get it. I was

18:12

like I'm so much hotter now and I'm so much

18:14

more like myself and my body and I was like

18:16

so my feelings were so hurt. I was like f***

18:18

you but it's more a reflection of him. Honestly.

18:21

Do I look hotter now? Pedophiles are just

18:23

everywhere huh? But it did feel not that

18:25

he was like a pedophile but

18:27

it was like eww. Hey

18:29

y'all. Please don't tell child services

18:32

but I am going on tour this fall

18:34

as a brand new mother and this little

18:36

guy is going to be coming with me

18:38

because I've always wanted to be,

18:40

yep, I've always wanted

18:42

to be that person on the

18:44

plane that everybody hates. It's called

18:46

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18:48

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18:51

Let's ruin everyone's flight. Mwah.

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love.com today There's

22:07

something really sad about this what well you just

22:09

have a sign that says jokes jokes Do

22:17

have a piece of paper that just says jokes 50 times

22:19

on it do remember to be funny I kind of do

22:21

like the idea of writing that over and over again. That

22:23

was because I Wrote out the

22:25

font of my special called jokes And I was just

22:28

writing it out and writing it out to see one

22:30

that I liked and I think I picked that up

22:32

or Right one you were gonna do Joe

22:34

case Joe guess Like

22:38

I want to appeal to like every demographic Okay,

22:40

so tell me about this breathwork. Look she's never

22:43

been more calm. You know, I'm so happy. I'm

22:45

doing very good I'm very happy. I love being

22:47

with my Whitney I was talking

22:49

about how it's like I can't remember who I was

22:51

talking to about it But I'm like every time I hang out with

22:53

you, there's like three days where I'm like, I love Whitney Do you have

22:55

this with her? So I'm like, hi Like

22:59

are you? Bested

23:04

you as my friend. I told you this it's actually

23:06

kind of embarrassing. I Was

23:09

like watching you obviously I knew of you before

23:11

you knew of me. You're famous Yeah,

23:14

and I was like, I'm gonna be I was like,

23:16

I'm gonna be like friend friends with her like friends

23:19

You're like like really be friends with brunettes

23:22

I Was no competition. When was

23:24

this when you were in New York? No, it was

23:26

like what in LA, but I was like I was

23:28

like, I don't know if

23:31

it was before or after the roast Moment.

23:34

Okay, so we had this moment

23:36

which look I don't Okay,

23:39

I've always been intimidated by you the

23:41

comedy star. So funny. She's like this famous person. It's

23:43

like intimate I was like an open my girl like

23:45

okay But you just like had this confidence in the

23:47

way you walked and you have these big-ass hoop earrings

23:50

Like fuck every you're making everybody laugh and you're just like,

23:52

you know I mean cuz to me you're just like such

23:54

a funny person and You just

23:57

like have this like energy was like coming down the hallway and

23:59

you're just like an all all just like cheetah print and

24:01

shit. You're just like blonde fran dresser. And it's like, you

24:03

also look like you could fight. Like I don't know. I

24:05

do like to look like I can fight. I'm totally a

24:07

Quaker, I would never fight, but I like to look like

24:09

a quaker. You're also just like the kind of person that,

24:11

and I think I'm kind of this person too in a

24:14

way, or at least I've heard. So when I meet someone else like

24:16

this, it gets a little bit weird. Like you're the

24:18

kind of person that, if someone's gonna talk to you,

24:20

they better know who they are. Because

24:22

you don't let s*** lie. Yeah, I don't. I don't

24:24

let pointer out her. You're a pointer out her. My

24:26

mom used to get so annoyed. If someone

24:28

has like a narrative

24:31

about themselves or a

24:33

belief that's either self-limiting or not, you're gonna poke

24:35

a hole in it. If it's not, you know

24:37

what I'm saying? Well, I guess like Brian Simpson

24:39

was saying to someone, he was like, he's

24:41

like, I'm scared of Annie. Cause she like, she'll

24:43

like, she'll like get the truth out of

24:46

your order. I'm like, I'm sorry that

24:48

I expect you to tell me the truth. I

24:50

just expect everyone to tell me the truth. I

24:52

expect to like go through life. And

24:55

I know that actually that's a thing that's a

24:57

weird interpretation I'm having on life because a

24:59

lot of people aren't telling the truth for

25:02

whatever reason. To be self-aware and not be

25:04

delusional. And I think it doesn't occur to

25:06

me that other people are delusional or self-disbelievable.

25:08

Or maybe they don't want everyone to know

25:10

every single true thing about them. And that's

25:12

totally okay. Or they've had no one in

25:14

their life be honest with them or they're

25:16

only surrounding stuff with people. Like yes, man,

25:18

I'm trying to- The shaking of it is

25:21

wild. I'm moving more and more to- It's it, it's

25:23

it, it's it. That's not what I

25:25

was- That's the one. See, you

25:27

can't get away with anything. You're like,

25:29

okay, Lee Eisenberg, big

25:32

writer was on The Office, right? A lot of movies

25:34

and stuff. This is like, you're like this. So

25:37

I used to chew gum a lot.

25:39

And it was just like annoying and whatever. Yeah, I know, but

25:41

I was just like- Confident. Whatever. I was kind of doing

25:43

it to like not eat or something. Or it was just

25:46

like, I'm always so insecure. You were trying to pump that

25:48

one tip back up. I'm so insecure. They

25:50

write you on this side. My nightmare is that I

25:52

have halitosis because when you talk to people

25:54

with halitosis, they have no

25:57

idea. Like how could you not know?

25:59

I know. That and guys bad breaths

26:01

not the same as how to this is

26:03

there's a rotting from the inside There is

26:05

a rotting from the inside bad breath when

26:08

you're like, oh you didn't brush your teeth

26:11

enough to this when you smell it You're like,

26:13

yeah makes you gag and it can be from

26:15

like five or six feet away Like

26:17

you'll get the effluvium of like a pet store and

26:19

you're like, okay, how could not be in your mind?

26:21

I know you mean it makes me angry and they

26:23

don't know and then I'm like no one loves you

26:26

because no one's I'm not gonna say anything because I'm like

26:30

but like anyway, there's gotta be

26:33

some kind of Darwinian thing I also I wonder

26:35

if Halitosis is case by case because You

26:37

know that when you're related to someone in some

26:39

way, they don't smell as good to you like

26:41

the pheromones Yeah, I don't want you to have

26:43

in so it's like yeah way to stop that's

26:45

I heard That's why people why kids hate their

26:47

parents from their reproductive eat like in the reach

26:50

So that they go to the village to

26:53

bang rather than stay with their family That's

26:55

why they like they don't like their parents

26:57

from when they're like what 13. Yeah, 20

26:59

minutes. They get reproductive They're like, I don't

27:01

run away from home. Yeah, and then when they're

27:03

old bags that aren't supposed to reproduce anymore 26

27:08

When they're all old and dried up at 26, they

27:10

start to like their parents again But that was kind

27:13

of right like I feel like I always liked my

27:15

parents Yeah Even though we like saw and I felt

27:17

this just like angst and this I this I

27:20

guess angst works But it's like against each

27:22

other. Yeah, it wasn't it was

27:24

around 25. I think I would just like absolutely released

27:26

that We don't have to test them It's you have

27:28

to see where the walls are and it's parents their

27:30

job is to let their kids test them and test

27:33

them Yeah, and then it's your job to push back.

27:35

So it's like this whole thing where people like

27:37

these college kids what their wealth values It's like

27:39

well the whole thing

27:41

with young people is they're supposed to

27:44

be dumb They're gonna be so many

27:46

like hardcore like Nazi Republicans

27:48

with transparent like they're gonna hit

27:50

it's gonna be so crazy The future is gonna be like

27:53

the pendulum just swings back to put like like my

27:57

Nieces they don't smoke weed. They think it's lame

27:59

because their parents Okay, yeah, I mean like

28:01

but um, okay So Lee Eisenberg or this

28:04

is something that was helpful because it's like,

28:06

you know When you think you're getting away

28:08

with something, yeah, like everyone just lets you

28:10

look stupid Yeah, so I was chewing too much gum

28:12

and I was like, you know, I'm gonna do I'm gonna do those Tea

28:15

tree toothpicks. Oh, we all tried

28:17

that. Didn't we all try that? Didn't

28:21

we all and then did you they would dump

28:23

out accidentally cuz the keys And

28:25

you'd reach into your purse and stab your

28:28

fingernail in pale every Pale

28:30

blizz come out like like Edward

28:32

Scissorhands Bleeding fingers is so

28:34

painful and like the tea tree which

28:37

like burns like nightmare And

28:39

so I'm talking to him and I like have it in my

28:41

mouth and we're talking for like a couple minutes And then it

28:43

gets kind of quiet. He goes So

28:45

is this like your And

28:48

it was you literally trying it I was and

28:50

I was just like it was like the end

28:52

of the party I'm like everyone stopped that this

28:54

whole night. So funny was that a party? I

28:57

really was thinking you were like in a writers

28:59

room. No, it was like I like work your

29:01

board So you want to be doing when you

29:03

take like a new like Tick

29:06

for a spin. Yeah, like a new personality choice,

29:08

you know to me and you're like, I'm gonna

29:10

be this guy now And he was like so

29:12

this is the new thing called out immediately and

29:14

also know Whitney I don't I've never gone. I

29:16

have a new personality trait. I'm picking out. I

29:19

do want to be clear that I Understand

29:21

we're saying but no Like

29:26

how like when you try new slang like everyone

29:28

says new slang was like the first time you

29:30

like oh It's so embarrassing when you when we

29:33

stopped saying cringy and starts in cringe. Yeah,

29:35

I was like that's Cringe

29:38

Oh No, I'm done. That's it. Now

29:40

everyone's like don't say cringe cringes cringe

29:42

Also, by the way, like clutch is

29:44

new like people just say like aha clutch

29:46

choice I'm like there you try that out for the first

29:48

time and there's no way it went great the first time

29:51

you tried it Out and you had to make the conscious

29:53

choice like I'm there catching people in

29:55

that moment is my happy place When

30:00

someone says something and I can see

30:02

them tense and look

30:04

around to see if anyone saw it, they find

30:06

me and I saw it. And here's what I

30:09

like about it is that like, on

30:11

one hand, I want to go like, Oh, it's

30:13

sadistic to like take a joy in someone's embarrassing

30:15

moment. But I think what you do is you

30:17

actually make it not be. I'm trying to make

30:19

it not embarrassing. Exactly. I thought

30:21

everybody thought your finalist is like 100%. So

30:24

for me, part of the reason I think I was resistant

30:26

to you is like, if I'm going to

30:29

hang out with her, I better be ready to be

30:31

told the truth about I think

30:34

I'm getting away. Like you're the bitch that says you have food

30:36

in your teeth. You're the bitch that's not pulling this thing

30:38

off that you think you're pulling off. I will say

30:40

this. What I think

30:42

we've learned in our friendship recently is

30:44

that you give me literally

30:47

like the number one best

30:49

advice. Like, I mean, Whitney gives me advice

30:51

that like, I should have to pay

30:53

like, like a million

30:55

dollars to hear. It's like crazy, the advice

30:57

you give me. But I don't understand

31:00

for about a year that I was good advice. And

31:02

I'm a little bit I'm a little bit. I'm like,

31:04

what are you talking about? We

31:07

have falling outs for like months because I've

31:09

tried. I don't think it's ever falling out. I

31:11

always love you. But I'm like, I'll be like,

31:13

I know you're like, annoyed or I said something.

31:17

I straight up was like, we have a good

31:19

lane Maxwell here. And I gave her

31:21

advice one time and she I mean, put me

31:23

on Megan's law. She was like, maybe a predator. So

31:27

I don't know. I was like running a sex trafficking

31:29

ring. And there was a moment I was like, woke

31:31

up and was like, Whitney

31:33

gave me the most accurate, beautiful,

31:36

perfect advice. She gave it to me

31:38

lovingly. You gave it to me like,

31:41

let's go, whatever. It got a little

31:43

heated. And well, because I

31:45

and I don't even think like, at

31:48

you, I just was like, I was like,

31:50

couldn't understand. I

31:52

was so in my own experience. I

31:54

literally could not like eagle vision it

31:56

in any way. And you were basically

31:58

just like this hawk. coming and being

32:00

like, I see all of it. This

32:03

is what's going on. This is how it's going to play

32:05

out. I can help. I can

32:07

be with you in this if you want to keep doing this, or we can

32:10

nip it in the butt now and not have to deal with

32:12

it. And I was like, I literally think you're insane. I don't

32:14

know what you're talking about. And then everything played out exactly how

32:16

you said. And I

32:18

was like, damn, I really wish someone had come and given

32:20

me. Oh, she

32:23

gave me the exact advice and

32:25

everything you were saying was like, I'm not telling you

32:27

this is right. I'm not telling you this is how

32:29

things should be. I'm just telling you, like, we could

32:31

do this way or we could do that way. And

32:33

I love you for that. And I think now, I

32:36

hope now when you come to

32:38

me saying something like this, I go, she

32:41

must be telling me, but I think it's just

32:44

not trusting people. Like, it's just a thing of

32:46

like being like, Oh, I guess like

32:48

in the past, people just not like not thinking that

32:50

people are writing for me, like just being like, Oh,

32:52

maybe this, I don't know. I don't know what I

32:55

thought. And it's also, I think that there's a, I

32:57

feel very lucky that. My dad

33:00

who by all accounts should

33:02

have been in jail for

33:04

the other choices he made while children were

33:06

in the house, um, did

33:09

say a lot of stuff to me that actually

33:11

was probably like child abuse, but he was right.

33:13

He would always tell me life isn't fair. He

33:15

was like, life is not fair. You are not

33:17

going to get the same opportunities. You are not going

33:20

to be seen the same way. You are not, you are going to

33:22

have to work twice as hard to get up. Sometimes your friends are

33:24

going to sabotage you by giving you a banana flavored. I'll

33:27

be pop. You know, they're delicious.

33:29

Like, Oh, okay. Do you

33:31

know what I mean? It's like,

33:34

I prefer whichever the one, my sweet Olivia

33:36

Munn. What kind of share

33:38

you will realize this is the most

33:40

delicious thing you've ever tasted. I

33:43

actually, I'm starting to really enjoy it, but I

33:47

do like fake banana taste. I'm

33:49

a fake Hawaiian tropic sunscreen. It's

33:52

delicious. I love it. It's like

33:55

tastes like a banana runt. Doesn't

33:57

it? It tastes nothing like a banana. There's

34:01

something bad about it. There's something

34:03

like it's almost good and then there's something

34:05

really bad. Do you sell these?

34:08

No. Okay. I don't know. This is not even something.

34:10

Because I'm like if she sells these I

34:12

love it. It's delicious. Promo code Whitney.

34:14

Isn't it funny though? Have you ever had people

34:16

like try out like your something you are like sponsored

34:19

by and they go like... And

34:26

you're like it's healthy for you it's not that it tastes good

34:28

that's not what I'm saying something something that's healthy for you but actually

34:30

everything I saw I love. I mean I had

34:33

a just random side note

34:37

I had a bluechoo package

34:40

out because we like put the merch

34:42

out guy I'm seeing just picks it up and

34:44

takes one. I never took one. It's the gum.

34:47

It was like he was like I think it was gum. Is it

34:49

gum? Or maybe it was the thing. Took it. I

34:52

can now endorse it. I couldn't endorse it before. You know what we need

34:55

to come up with and

34:57

this is a collab with bluechoo. A way to

34:59

get to your airplane story? This is listen it's

35:01

not actually that good but okay wait so bluechoo

35:03

this is a collab I think instead of gum

35:05

we should make toothpicks okay

35:09

okay they give you boners tea

35:11

tree toothpicks. Is

35:15

that a good one or what? Call shark

35:17

tank they pass. But

35:19

wait I want to get back to this okay

35:21

so I do I am getting a point in

35:23

my life where I

35:25

think love looks different than what I thought

35:27

it looked like and

35:30

I trust crying screaming

35:32

no police being called. Wait

35:35

the cops will never be called. Wow. It's

35:39

shocking. Have you been in those relations where I get

35:41

I like had neighbors notes like slid under they're like

35:43

we're calling the cops like this is gotta stop. Like

35:45

they won't come they've walked

35:47

us a while ago. They don't

35:50

take our calls anymore. I'm like yikes. But

35:52

I had so much conflict

35:54

in my home growing up that I think

35:56

when I started making friends and my mom

35:59

was very histrionic, dramatic, a lot of

36:01

crying, a lot of stress. So by the time

36:03

I made girl friendships, I was always just kind

36:05

of trying to make sure everything was copacetic. Like

36:07

it was just, if you see

36:09

something, don't say something. You know, just kind of like, that's

36:13

what a good friendship is supposed to look like.

36:15

And then I was like, healed the stuff around

36:17

that, I'm friends with you. And

36:20

you're kind of the first friend that I've been able

36:22

to be like, can you just listen for a minute?

36:24

And it's like, we're not fighting. I'm just trying to-

36:26

I will never fight with you. I love you. You're

36:29

one of my most healthy friends. Like I leave

36:31

you like crazy things. I hope, I know that

36:34

your love language is not verbal,

36:36

but I can't stop. I love you. I can't,

36:38

I literally leave you things where I'm like, I'm

36:41

like, you give me the best,

36:43

most healthy, but I love you. Like I'm so grateful

36:45

for you because first of all, I

36:48

knew it was going to happen. I just knew it. I don't

36:50

know. I was just connected to you. I don't know.

36:52

I sound like a stalker. And I also like to

36:54

be the person that goes like, right now, given what

36:56

was going on with you, there's no way that you

36:58

cannot be angry or mad. Do it at me. If

37:01

you're going to be mad and yell at someone, do it

37:03

at me. I can take it. And I know what's happening.

37:05

Don't call anyone. But don't make

37:08

it bigger. Don't take it places. You shouldn't have

37:10

feelings right now because what is happening isn't fair.

37:12

And I think that's what I was trying to

37:14

say. I'm going like, these are your choices. None

37:16

of them are fair. I was like, oh my

37:19

God, we got Jeffrey Epstein's bitch right here. Don't

37:21

we? I was so confused, but it's so

37:23

funny because the roast thing, which is what we were talking

37:26

about before. No,

37:28

the roast when we first met. OK, you tell

37:30

the story. OK, I don't really remember. I don't

37:32

know if we've talked about this. We probably have.

37:35

We haven't really talked about what

37:37

happened. So I was doing it

37:39

was Jason Reitman was filming for.

37:42

He was doing a documentary on the roast battle.

37:44

I forgot about that. Was it me and Dane

37:46

Cook? It was you and Dane Cook. OK, OK.

37:49

Another element to that that

37:51

I have not told you about that I want to fill

37:53

you in on. OK. So that

37:56

night, also something else happened. I

37:58

actually remember very clearly. that

38:00

I didn't put on

38:02

powder. Like, I get- So you were

38:04

in your head feeling shiny. I

38:07

get a lot of s*** for looking shiny, you know what

38:09

I mean? Cause I put oil all over my face cause

38:11

I'm so afraid of aging because everyone's like- Isn't it so

38:13

funny to be like, people are mad at

38:15

me for my shiny face because I put oil

38:17

on it? Cause I put oil on it cause

38:19

I'm trying to not look old. And then when

38:21

your face is shiny, you look old, like you

38:23

get crazy lasers and plastic surgery. Who cares, who

38:25

cares? The point is, then we get up there, it's the

38:28

roast battle. It's upstairs in the belly room. It's 5,000 degrees.

38:31

I'm sweating profusely. I just remember it and

38:33

being insecure about what I look like. And

38:35

Jason Reitman, who did Up in the Air, who

38:37

did all that, is shooting it. So I'm already

38:40

like, oh God, like I already look like a

38:42

crazy real housewife, jellyfish and whatever. And it's a

38:44

f***ing documentary, so there's no hair and makeup. Of

38:46

course not, but I'm just kind of like, you

38:48

know? Anyway, so I'm already feeling

38:51

a little bit insecure and a

38:54

comedian who is a friend of mine, who we

38:56

used to be very close to in New York,

38:58

we're very good now, we like talked through it,

39:00

but kind of like hadn't seen each other in

39:02

like six, seven years. He was

39:04

on one of the roast

39:06

battles. And he said, like when you're

39:08

up judging, you kind of get hit, but not at the

39:10

end. The idea is you're just like weighing in and voting

39:12

at the end. And he said, oh, Caitlyn

39:15

Jenner's here. Oh, just kidding. I

39:18

didn't realize that was Whitney Cummings. And you're like, you're my

39:20

friend. And I was like, there was

39:22

a couple, I was already feeling insecure. It

39:24

was already kind of like, nah. And

39:27

you weren't in roast mode. You were judging the

39:29

roast. So you weren't like. I wasn't the first

39:31

person to clown on myself, like roast myself. Like

39:33

you were there when I did the roast. But

39:35

sometimes it just hurts your feelings. Sometimes it does.

39:38

Oh, that one just kind of hurt my

39:40

feelings. And like, it also wasn't the perfect

39:42

joke. Like there's a time, when Nick Swartz

39:45

and, one

39:47

time we were doing the podcast and he was

39:49

telling a story that was taking forever and I kept trying to

39:51

like get him to finish it faster. And he's like, can you

39:53

just let me finish the story? And I was like, well, you're

39:55

taking forever. And he goes, sorry, I'm not an Adderall mannequin. Perfect

39:59

joke. And one time

40:01

I did this like crazy laser called

40:03

not halo. I

40:06

don't remember, soft wave or something. And it

40:08

makes your skin like crazy tight for a couple of

40:10

days. Oh, I saw you after that. Cause I remember

40:12

going, what'd you get done? You're like, nothing. I just

40:14

got a facial. I'm like, you're snatched. I'm like something.

40:17

You, one time you had a pointy, I was

40:19

like Whitney. But this was my dream.

40:21

I was like, I want to be able to have a relationship

40:23

with this bitch where I'm like. No, but then, okay. That was

40:25

the same week because you get PRP. You

40:28

get PRP, protein rich plasma injected

40:30

and it makes your cheeks swell up. And

40:32

you kind of look like a squirrel with

40:34

nuts in your mouth all day. So

40:37

we were shooting this thing together. I

40:40

hadn't seen, I hadn't seen

40:42

Swartzen. And I was like wearing my hair down trying

40:44

thinking I was like covering it. And

40:47

we were on camera and he walks up and he hadn't seen

40:49

me yet. And he walked up and I like started doing

40:51

whatever bit we're doing. And he goes, why are

40:53

you wearing a Halloween mask? But

40:57

not set at the right time. But like

41:00

Halloween mask is so funny. Cause it's like,

41:02

it's nondescript. It's just like the ones from

41:04

the fifties that are just white with staples

41:06

in the side. Like it's like the perfect

41:08

joke. So like nothing is funnier to

41:10

me than when someone wrote. But it was like, it just

41:12

wasn't perfect. And it was just like a little sad. And

41:15

it was like a little too rough. And he was probably

41:17

feeling, cause I know you're talking about, so he was probably

41:19

nervous. So he was probably said it. And he knows me

41:21

well enough to know that I would laugh at myself and

41:23

I love a good rose. So

41:25

it's like, no one did anything wrong. But then

41:27

it was just like, it was also on this

41:29

documentary. And then I was like embarrassed and whatever.

41:32

So I think we, I forgot about the fact

41:34

that there was a documentary. So there was already

41:36

weird things involved. When we

41:38

come to the end of the story though, you,

41:40

the advice was not actually that bad. So, okay.

41:42

So it was actually pretty good, but okay. So,

41:45

but the way I took it was, so I

41:47

did rose battle against, against

41:50

Mike Lawrence. Okay. Okay.

41:54

Like a swamp thing. I mean, it was, it was, but he's

41:56

one of my old friends. So it was like, it was really

41:58

like, we had this rose battle. really fun is like intense we're

42:01

going at each other and you were you

42:03

said something along the lines of like she kills

42:05

by the way you know you go you're like you're

42:07

like um you know like I think like I

42:10

don't know if you said as women but you

42:12

were like you're like you should smile more up

42:14

there okay so what I

42:17

hear is I'm like bitch cat calling me on

42:19

the streets of New York I'm like smile more

42:22

bitch what about the jokes bitch you know I

42:24

was like that's how I'm feeling but then now

42:26

looking back on it I probably

42:28

looked so pissed the whole roast battle which doesn't

42:30

isn't fun it's not fun to watch people getting

42:33

mad at each other it's fun to watch people

42:35

lightheartedly like smiling and it's true because I was

42:37

like because in my head I wasn't mad I

42:39

was thinking about my jokes I wasn't listening to

42:42

his totally do you know what I mean there

42:44

I think what I'm the advice was like good

42:46

yeah I think it was like and this took

42:48

me a long time to learn and I just

42:50

try to give the advice or feedback or whatever

42:53

that I wish someone had given to me sooner

42:55

because no one tells women the little shortcuts like

42:57

no right says like like I'm not telling you to smile

42:59

more I'm just saying like you can get away with more yeah

43:01

if you have a little bit of it makes so much sense

43:04

if you have a little bit of warmth but by the way

43:06

I'm at the point where I'm still in the place where like

43:08

when I started comedy I was like like I'm

43:10

not even just through comedy but I was like very

43:12

like not that I was like trans or

43:15

anything but I was like very my mom was like

43:17

not feminine at all yeah so I was very like

43:19

I'd never wanted to like play up being a girl

43:21

I never wanted to be pretty like especially when I

43:23

started comedy like I was like I never wanted people

43:25

call me a female comedian I didn't want to be

43:27

treated median I wanted to be treated yeah comedian yeah

43:29

I wanted to just be treated treated like a dude

43:32

I don't know if it's because I brothers or whatever

43:34

so I still was in this like mindset that I

43:36

had a dress like Rachel Feinstein has a joke about

43:38

it where it's like why don't like female comedians like

43:40

that to dress up like one of the Beastie boys you know

43:43

like I'd be like in hoodies

43:45

and stuff I think I was still a little

43:47

bit like why are you been

43:49

addressing me as a girl and I think that we

43:51

try to overcompensate as girls by like neutering ourselves I mean

43:54

like tougher and like I'm gonna do in people like

43:56

why do female comedians only talk about sex cuz like in

43:58

the beginning you're just trying to neuter your And you're

44:00

trying to make like the guys in the back like

44:02

not see you with You

44:05

are in a weird way and like cartoon you know

44:07

yourself You know what I mean? Like you're kind of trying to be

44:09

tough, but it doesn't It

44:12

comes off like we already come off tough And I think

44:14

it's hard for us to see that because we feel so

44:17

vulnerable and insecure right? But that's not

44:19

how we're perceived Yeah Took me so long to realize

44:21

there was such an Incongruence between the way I felt

44:23

in the way that other people perceived me and the

44:25

more insecure and nervous I was the bitch here I

44:27

was coming on yeah, cuz I was just being like

44:29

quiet and whatever so in a loop And I was

44:32

trying to tell you like you can also

44:34

have fun with this and be played yeah I mean were

44:36

you are at war up there right

44:38

you're genuinely And someone

44:40

is like coming at you and saying horrific stuff about

44:42

you But like you can just like I

44:45

gave Dane such a good burn too. I went up I go

44:48

I go Dane and this isn't against him I think

44:50

Dean I don't know him very well, but I'm not but

44:52

this was just in the moment I go I go this was

44:55

like 2000 probably like 2014

44:59

or 15 I

45:02

go Dane it's so amazing you're

45:04

here like but if you're here who's

45:07

at the improv getting bumped by crystal? Yeah, cuz

45:09

that was when they were like battling So

45:13

you all know how much I love going

45:15

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45:18

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it's 2024 Let's talk about

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That's 4forthepeople.com/Whitney or dial pound

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law pound 529 from your

48:48

cell phone. This is a paid advertisement. When

48:51

I made the decision to leave Trash Tuesday,

48:53

which was like a hard decision, my mom sent

48:55

me flowers. My parents sent me flowers for being

48:57

brave because it was like a hard decision to

49:00

leave Trash Tuesday. Well, because I also do think

49:02

like, can I, I don't even think I identify,

49:04

I don't, feminism, are we done? Like this thing

49:06

where we all have to like be girl bosses

49:08

that we work all day and grind and have

49:11

nine shows and nine, like, can I not be

49:13

a CEO? Can I not have

49:15

an empire? I have too many businesses.

49:17

I don't have so many businesses. I like that we

49:19

went from going like women can't get jobs, so they

49:21

have so many jobs that they're burning out and

49:23

missing their opportunity to have kids and giving

49:26

themselves cancer and going bald. My jaw hurts

49:28

because you know, and it's

49:30

not from sucking cock. Okay. It's

49:32

from just like, I

49:35

night my subconscious was like, you're

49:37

falling behind. You need to do more. I tape my mouth shut at

49:39

night. Do you ever tape your mouth shut? Oh, shhtape? Shhtape?

49:42

Shhtape. I shhtape myself. Do you know about shhtape? Do

49:44

you know about shhtape? Are you sponsored? Do you know

49:46

about shatope? Are you sponsored? This is

49:48

what happens. I'm so jealous. Guys,

49:51

I need this.

49:55

No, Todd pretending he wasn't excited when I

49:57

started doing this was the funniest thing. Todd being like. Wait,

50:00

but I always rip it off. So this is what

50:02

I keep talking when you're a female comedian the sponsorships

50:05

you get our blue Choo, by the

50:07

way come to any which tape So

50:10

when you're a female comedian And talk

50:13

a lot the sponsors you get our blue choo because

50:15

they assume the men around you can't get erections Or

50:17

or that they have to shove their talks and I'm

50:19

out to shut you up And

50:21

they literally blew and chew it's cute and blue

50:23

and we're done with it And

50:26

then tape which is basically

50:28

fancy duct tape it really the

50:30

only problem is I'm such a spray tan girly That's this

50:33

really money will look like by the way. It's the first

50:35

time I said girly and I know like a minstrel doll

50:39

So this is You put on

50:41

your mouth so that you breathe out of your nose when you sleep

50:44

But you put tape on it just you know,

50:46

I just put like little no, no, it's it's

50:48

for sleep Oh, okay But I end up like

50:50

not going to sleep Todd wait says he wakes

50:52

up in a full conversation every morning because I'm

50:54

waiting I'm like Like

50:56

either way to punch you in the head to wake you up so I can finish

51:01

Or he's gonna start talking Tape

51:06

hot I don't want you to ruin my spray

51:09

tan So

51:12

that's what you you can take that with you

51:14

I'm very excited about it stay because I just

51:16

use like So that you go

51:18

sleep out of your so I don't have my jaw

51:20

open and I'm not like crying Yeah,

51:23

cuz if I mouth breathe I will I

51:25

have more chance of Brux's okay talk about this on

51:27

Huberman's pod But

51:34

okay, I want to know what Ayahuasca

51:36

specifically did for you because I think I

51:38

would like to do it again, but I'm not sure why okay I

51:42

it helped me I think every time I've done is

51:44

about 30 years of therapy is what it feels like

51:46

It's like I get all these answers and I have

51:48

like it sounds crazy. So I was like you too.

51:50

I never Did

51:53

the diet or anything like before you do I watch

51:55

there? You're not supposed to have spicy

51:57

food coffee can barely tell you what it is.

51:59

I don't read the emails. I

52:01

get sent emails. I don't read them. I

52:03

just show up, you know? Because the first

52:05

time I did it was very like last

52:07

minute. And then so I never really

52:09

like followed the rules or anything. I still had these

52:12

like profound experiences. But like

52:14

the first time it was about my anxious attachment to

52:16

men. Like why was I always feeling like I was

52:18

always in these relationships with guys that like I

52:21

was so concerned whether they liked me. I didn't even Can

52:23

I do a drug that makes me stop dating comedians? I

52:25

know it was crazy. I mean, you have seen me through

52:27

some spins. I have but it was like I didn't even

52:29

know if I liked them. And I'd be like, did you

52:32

like me one but I hadn't even thought about whether I

52:34

liked them or not. I always thought like I'm in love

52:36

with someone I don't like. Yeah, I love

52:38

you. But I don't like you. How did it all sound just like

52:40

I'm like you just like tell me whether you want to be with

52:43

me or not. And then I'll even

52:45

have any experience of my own and think about this. It

52:47

was just always like focused on other people what they were

52:49

thinking. And basically what I learned the first time

52:51

in ayahuasca was that it was like, my

52:53

dad, my dad's older and I was always afraid my

52:55

dad was going to die. So like throughout my whole

52:57

life, I've been like, just afraid

53:00

my dad's gonna go. So never appreciating

53:02

the moment and always wanting to like,

53:04

keep him like I always had the image of

53:07

like grabbing water like I'm always trying to grab

53:09

water and you can't do that. So you guys,

53:11

this is an Andrew Heberman taught me

53:13

this water is in solid. And look

53:15

at the sun and make sure you look

53:17

at the sun. I'm

53:20

always like, I want to do like a sketch where

53:22

my eyes are just burning. I'm like, keep your mind,

53:24

leave me alone. I just hear you need to look

53:26

at your son. I'm like, haven't seen him in days.

53:28

When you look at your son. Where is

53:30

he? I think I hired someone to do that. Someone's looking

53:32

at him, right? Okay, I just

53:34

wanted to really go through why you are like radiating

53:39

in inner light. I have more ayahuasca stories.

53:41

Can I tell you the last one? Please.

53:44

So this because it pertains to what you

53:46

were saying because I finally okay, two, three

53:48

ayahuasca ago, I do it like once

53:50

a year. It sounds crazy. Like I do it all

53:52

the time, but I really, this year I did do

53:54

it twice already, but in 2024, but so February, But

53:57

I actually turned down a trip. I was gonna go to.

54:00

The work of I actually feel like complete. Why

54:02

do you take trips? Can you to do it?

54:04

Like. Ah, my ideas. I live only done it with

54:06

one Sharman and I just love him so he just

54:09

gotta hit me up when he's doing a group of

54:11

that. But I'm starting to the point where I don't

54:13

want to do it with the big groups anymore because.

54:16

You. Can apply to analyze your grip on

54:18

Ios. I could anymore out one but. Also

54:20

it's like it is like I had an experience

54:22

where there was a there is a person on

54:24

that that new me and it was. It was

54:27

just i don't want to like deal with someone

54:29

that like. Had. Was not my podcast

54:31

while I'm like oh no no but as out his

54:33

fault like whatever. but if I wanted Devon I could

54:35

have explosive diarrhea in front of my why am I

54:37

was certainly about as a dire as a promise of

54:40

like I don't I just want to feel like I

54:42

can be but it but I was doing and larger

54:44

groups and it with and I met a lot of

54:46

amazing people that way but it's like I kind of

54:48

really thought Per is complete I didn't feel I mean

54:51

as a couple things like. First. Of

54:53

all like I don't really get a lot out of

54:55

it of certainly the first night and I was like

54:57

sitting there you're saying on a pillow for like eight

54:59

hour shifts and then the next that I was like

55:01

okay this I'm not really feeling meaning but I am

55:03

having a lot of epiphany is and like. But.

55:05

If I were to. Sit. On a

55:07

pillow for eight hours without my phone like I'm sure I'd

55:10

have a lot of of roni than it, you know, to

55:12

mean or like to being. A. Room with like ten

55:14

people I don't know and having to dislike.

55:17

Be alone in public like now. Going

55:20

to be weirdly therapeutic. It was

55:22

interesting. Like the. Could. I

55:24

think it was beneficial to do in a group because I was

55:26

like. Finding. A lot of myself

55:28

and everyone shares. you know, like I was like

55:30

oh okay and I was like some really like

55:32

interests of our and now I'm like I feel

55:34

I just feel complete. I feel like. I've.

55:36

Met enough people and I owe us consumers cut todos

55:39

makes on Makers will be like. Mike.

55:42

I. Like I would go like a little too hard

55:44

with her and be my billie guess we're per and

55:46

then it would be item by can be like to

55:48

do my top people in your her and i was

55:50

you going like talk to them on the phone every

55:52

and i have taking either one would hope or aliens

55:55

I have to gotta hide with a new for exactly

55:57

like in a bag ways but with that said I've

55:59

met some. like soul

56:01

sisters there and stuff too. So, but it's like now

56:03

I'm feeling like, okay, I want to be more protective

56:05

of my energy and I don't want to have to

56:07

listen to everyone's stories anymore. I'm kind

56:09

of like. Because it's another way to just get out of your

56:12

own feelings. Exactly. Or to go like,

56:14

oh, I'm just gonna take your insights and like,

56:16

you know. I had to consciously, there were two things

56:18

that happened. Like one time there was a

56:21

guy sitting next to me and he was sharing like his intentions

56:23

for the weekend. And he was like, well,

56:25

I had never met him before. I didn't know his

56:27

name, knew nothing about him. And he goes, the

56:29

mother of my children just passed away.

56:32

I had to consciously tell myself to

56:34

not Last.

56:37

Process that, to not masturbate. Um,

56:40

I take that blue chill and I'm hard, hard, hard. But

56:43

I had to be like, don't process his loss.

56:45

Like I started to like feel so sad for

56:47

him and his kids. And I'm like, you don't

56:49

know this person. You don't know any, like stop.

56:52

And then also I got a text one time when I wasn't supposed

56:54

to be looking at my phone and I thought I was done and

56:57

I wasn't done. I looked at my phone. And

56:59

it was that when Kate Quigley had overdosed, it

57:05

happened. It was, it was announced. It was

57:07

announced. But someone sent it to me and like, you didn't know

57:09

if she was going to die or not. And I'm not like

57:11

friends with her or anything, but I was like, I started processing

57:13

and I had to go like, Kate, I wish you well. Like

57:15

I, I hope you survive. I

57:18

cannot like process. Like I can't, I can't

57:20

take journey. You're experienced right now. So

57:23

it's turning into a sociopath. No,

57:26

but I mean, you're like, God, I can't like deal with this

57:28

right now. I think it's more

57:30

like, like I had Dr.

57:33

Paul Conti, like just brilliant

57:35

psychiatrist on. And I asked him like, what's

57:37

the one thing if everyone could

57:39

do this free, that would

57:41

help their mental health immensely. He said, don't read the

57:43

news. There's nothing you can

57:45

do. There's absolutely nothing you can do. And

57:47

the sanity of only focusing on the things

57:50

you can control is how you can like, whereas

57:52

like it's more just going like, I can't

57:54

control this, whether I'm sad or pitting myself, it

57:56

would just be using this as an opportunity to

57:58

hurt myself and be cutting. Yeah. I mean, before

58:00

when other it's also a form I think

58:02

of like, like, trying

58:04

to get attention or self indulgence, like

58:07

when someone else is going through something bad

58:09

to make it like you're saying, right? Well,

58:11

also, you don't have to process your own

58:13

thing. And so many of the times in my

58:15

in my ayahuasca journeys, I was having to kill my

58:17

parents. It was all about my parents death, my parents

58:19

death. But what I realized is like,

58:21

that was like, like, I'm

58:23

on deck, right? So that's like, it's

58:25

basically my death to that I'm, I'm

58:27

kind of procrastinating on by only focusing

58:29

on ego death or I

58:31

think true death. I've been like was focusing on

58:33

my parents death. Like that they'll die one

58:36

day. Yeah. And I was like, Oh, like, having

58:38

to process that and like, we need if it goes down

58:40

the way went down with Whitney, I'm gonna need to get

58:42

ahead of this. No,

58:45

but I think that wasn't trying to get ahead of this

58:47

thing and trying to like make it it's the one thing

58:49

you know, it's gonna happen and it's blind.

58:52

It's still blind, right? And yeah, red.

58:54

And there's like such a dread about

58:56

it. Like, the one thing I will

58:58

say, I said after your parents are

59:00

dead, there is this freedom, right? Like you're

59:02

flying cuz you're like, at least I'm not

59:05

dreading my parents dying, right? Like it's such

59:07

a weird freedom. Well,

59:09

it's like I imagine getting herpes. I

59:15

always thought that I was like, maybe I just get it.

59:17

So I stopped worrying about it. Yeah, like I just want

59:19

the shoe to dry and Lord, I know it sounds like

59:21

I have herpes or I would tell you guys, I don't

59:23

have it. I think we all have shingles. I shingle with

59:26

herpes. Why did you

59:28

point to your because I got on my side. Okay, don't

59:30

put like, I got

59:32

shingles in my asshole. But someone who

59:34

was on recently, I was Brooke who

59:37

was saying like, everyone has chlamydia and

59:39

herpes. But herpes, I

59:42

apparently don't have it. But

59:44

I don't believe it. Don't we sound like liars? I

59:46

don't sound like it just

59:49

seems unlikely. Well, good for

59:51

you. That's actually why it's named good for you. Because

59:53

she doesn't have herpes. I just said like, whatever

59:55

doctor tells me that I'm like, all

59:57

right. But when I was like, when I was actually I

1:00:00

is like when I was drinking and

1:00:02

I was like blackout drunk, I

1:00:04

was in... That's why I was thinking

1:00:06

about playing piano. I was like, oh, that was so fun. And

1:00:09

I never got it, but I was like... It's because you never kissed

1:00:11

them. I know. I was like, I

1:00:13

never got it here. You never said it was just... We

1:00:15

were never worried about this one. If you have

1:00:17

sex with a lot of people and they never

1:00:20

kiss you and there's zero intimacy, maybe that's the

1:00:22

life hack. My mouth kissed

1:00:24

parts. It was... I

1:00:28

was always like, oh my God, I escaped

1:00:31

this again. You know there's a dating app for people... Furby.

1:00:34

No, and that's probably the most loving... I'm so sorry. A

1:00:38

lot of people Furby's. A lot of people, most people

1:00:40

do. I

1:00:42

think we might. I

1:00:44

think we do. I'm

1:00:48

trying to just wrap my head around this because, again,

1:00:50

there's no way we're going to get out

1:00:52

unscathed. What do you think that any of

1:00:55

your internal light that

1:00:57

you're emanating... I

1:00:59

mean, look, doesn't she look like a... I'm

1:01:01

so happy. Doesn't she look like a self-help,

1:01:03

like a gorgeous... Looking

1:01:06

very lioness today. I'm

1:01:09

just happy. Does any of it have to do

1:01:11

with getting engaged? Oh,

1:01:13

that's so funny. Not even a little bit. I'm

1:01:16

like, why getting engaged? Isn't

1:01:18

there a little bit of this... Once

1:01:21

I got pregnant, everyone's like, oh, don't you

1:01:23

feel terrible? And I'm like, any of the

1:01:25

physical ailments, any of my back

1:01:27

hurting or the thyroid thing, all

1:01:29

of it is better than the fear of being like,

1:01:31

what am I going to have a kid? Right. You

1:01:34

know what I'm saying? So that was taken

1:01:36

away. Yes, some discomfort was added, but a

1:01:39

giant fear was removed. So I was in

1:01:41

such relief that none of it felt punishing.

1:01:43

I think, yeah, no, the engagement for me...

1:01:45

The only reason the engagement isn't that big

1:01:47

of a monument is because I

1:01:49

totally know what's happening. But meeting

1:01:51

Todd, yeah, Todd was so... Todd

1:01:53

is the only securely attached guy I have ever

1:01:56

dated. I was never attracted to guys that weren't

1:01:58

crazy, which is fine. Great like

1:02:00

I dated hilarious. Yeah, I dated men who

1:02:02

are so brilliant and so smart and a

1:02:05

little crazy too But like, you

1:02:07

know like the rest of us but like but I think it's

1:02:09

important to get all that out of your system So by the

1:02:11

time you meet the good person you don't take them for granted

1:02:13

You have something to compare them to and actually appreciate. Yeah, so

1:02:15

it's like gonna be like girls don't like

1:02:17

nice guys Yes, we do It's just the same way that

1:02:19

guys have to get like having sex out of their system

1:02:21

with a lot of people Yeah I have to like be

1:02:24

in kind of like date the tattoo guy and the motorcycle

1:02:26

guy and the athlete and the gay guy

1:02:28

and then I'm just Reading my

1:02:30

journal. I'm like all those can be taught except for Yeah,

1:02:34

we don't know by and then we will

1:02:37

and then when you get to the night that you can actually

1:02:39

appreciate them And you're ready to receive that I just it took

1:02:41

so long to get there and I also like don't like if

1:02:43

you had Met top when you were 25. It wouldn't have You

1:02:48

would have been in preschool I Had

1:02:52

been a freshman as well, but I'm just saying

1:02:55

like it wouldn't work I wouldn't have been interested

1:02:57

at all Yeah, and it's like and Todd is

1:02:59

so funny and so cool and all those things but

1:03:01

it's like Todd is one of my

1:03:03

favorite. Isn't he the best? He is just always

1:03:09

I'm like I would do anything for your

1:03:11

inner model. Yes. No, it's really it's very

1:03:13

it's a plan. He's a game He

1:03:17

doesn't make drama for no reason like he

1:03:19

lives right. Yeah, he's the best and it

1:03:21

was so I The surrender

1:03:23

I had a surrender to that cuz I still was trying to

1:03:25

get out of that I was trying to get the but the

1:03:27

pandemic it cuz I was like, I'm like, how

1:03:29

do I get this kid out of my? And

1:03:39

then you know the pandemic and then I was

1:03:42

just like we'll just ride this

1:03:44

out to the pandemic and Yeah, and then

1:03:46

I just surrendered to it and it was

1:03:48

so like It

1:03:50

is such a relief to just like have found my

1:03:52

partner and someone that I can just like But what

1:03:54

was the surrender process like was it like it

1:03:57

was accepting that I am? old

1:04:00

Not old. I don't feel old but like I

1:04:02

was talking to my friend Malo from college

1:04:04

and he was like from high school Excuse me,

1:04:06

and and I like snuck out I was

1:04:08

like I'll be right back and I

1:04:11

was like he's like so who are you dating or whatever? It's like

1:04:13

yeah, where it's not gonna last, you know, he's like he's young I

1:04:15

was like, you know if I want to have kids and have a

1:04:17

family like I have to go with like an older guy And he

1:04:19

just started laughing. He's like Annie. We're the older guy We're

1:04:22

the older guy you you have a young

1:04:24

guy. That's like in like Doesn't

1:04:27

Todd look like the first pregnant man? Do

1:04:31

you remember? He's

1:04:33

gotta do that for Halloween. That is

1:04:35

such a like side-eye pose, too. Oh

1:04:39

God My

1:04:43

husband so now you're only doing

1:04:45

any I'm only doing Annie would and I'm

1:04:49

I'm very excited about I'm excited to just because

1:04:51

I've been like planning to do a special forever

1:04:53

And I haven't been able to focus on it

1:04:55

It's like it's hard to explain to people because

1:04:57

it sounds like you're complaining and it it

1:04:59

seems like we're just doing one hour And there's

1:05:01

no it's like it seems like podcasting is really

1:05:03

easy I need to show up and whatever and

1:05:05

maybe it is and if you're comparing it to

1:05:07

like I

1:05:09

don't know building a highway or something I

1:05:12

mean after doing my podcast you have to go

1:05:14

to the optical surgeon to get your

1:05:16

retinas It's

1:05:26

just you're looking at the Sun and every But

1:05:33

Yeah, I'm really excited. I'm really happy It was like a

1:05:35

hard decision to make it's hard when you have something that's

1:05:37

popular and people really like But

1:05:40

I was like I can't like God Is

1:05:42

there something to be said for just being

1:05:44

like I have a like Can I just

1:05:46

trust my gut? Yeah, my gut needs me

1:05:48

to go. Let me make a decision based

1:05:50

on all the information I have. Yeah, I

1:05:52

might have more information than you about my

1:05:54

energy levels and ability to focus. and like

1:05:56

there's like I mean this thing where I

1:05:58

mean I am now. Oh like identify as

1:06:01

just like a professional podcast because we're not only

1:06:03

podcasting are also guess some other people should run

1:06:05

in like two days a week will be another

1:06:07

people have never gotten anyone. sure I can go

1:06:09

in anyone's I was so that it's it's just

1:06:11

like I have nothing else to say that my

1:06:13

john are Also We don't want you guys to

1:06:16

get sick of us idol why I want a

1:06:18

becoming and being interesting until you know things haven't

1:06:20

heard. I don't want you to hear me like

1:06:22

telling the same story and a million different places.

1:06:24

Like I said totally and league in you guys

1:06:26

will call us out of we do like people

1:06:28

that I just told that. On Tiger belly and

1:06:30

I'm like whoa I have to talk for like

1:06:32

seven hours a week. i know it's a law

1:06:34

and were also performing and try. I'm troubling like

1:06:37

almost every single weekend and it's like I'm I'm

1:06:39

going to another time zone and come back and

1:06:41

I'm tired. I'm not complaining because I'm so grateful

1:06:43

for the show but I love it so much

1:06:45

I'm so happy but it's like yeah but it's

1:06:47

also like a it or to be to perform

1:06:49

and deliver few I have to make sure that

1:06:51

I'm growing is a percent of this is maybe

1:06:53

gonna make you guys feel like. I.

1:06:55

Don't know. maybe this is embarrassing say but

1:06:57

I actually am an artist. I like to

1:06:59

crash things, I like to make them good,

1:07:01

I like to have perfection and my work.

1:07:04

I like to draw, I like to do

1:07:06

things, I like to create things and if

1:07:08

that's cut off I feel like I'm in

1:07:10

my garage. You mean on abs Yes drawing

1:07:12

on abs one only needs anything can and

1:07:14

and ah but but just like I've I

1:07:17

haven't like been creating to the ability that

1:07:19

makes me happy as you know and if

1:07:21

I stand something for money or I stand

1:07:23

something because fans like it it's like. That

1:07:26

suffer that up for me? Yeah and

1:07:28

it also like an idol and you

1:07:30

like what. Whatever. You like

1:07:32

what every like but it's like you know I if you

1:07:35

trust me and you feel like there's more goods of the

1:07:37

com and you'll get it or you'll get it and it's

1:07:39

it is a lot of guts of and be like be

1:07:41

okay with. Us growing and of I don't mean

1:07:43

like we at like I've seen so many

1:07:45

people who don't know when to. Call it

1:07:47

and they just get less interesting and less

1:07:49

my arm or are the same person for

1:07:52

ever and like trust me I'm going to

1:07:54

get ahead it is. It's like when I

1:07:56

am when we interrupt it's like trust me

1:07:58

see I founded as an arena. I

1:08:00

interrupting. But says me of the vowed to

1:08:03

get boring and around like if I'm sort

1:08:05

of honestly be or started of honestly totally

1:08:07

what I was always Howard Stern saying. Is. Like

1:08:09

Howard Stern always, he goes, if I'm

1:08:11

bored, it means the audience is about.

1:08:13

To. Get bored so i always energy idea.

1:08:16

As I start getting bored. Yeah and I'd rather

1:08:18

people think that I'm an asshole interrupting then

1:08:20

morning. So we just do it really quick

1:08:22

and see if people on questions and. I've

1:08:24

never done it before on. Have. You

1:08:26

ever done live a lot is I live

1:08:28

out of my god was going to know

1:08:31

that. Fun! I've never done this before so

1:08:33

if is is boring I'm so sorry. Ah

1:08:35

and I knew if it's more has on

1:08:37

our fall. Yeah again, don't bore habitats. don't

1:08:39

be boring. Okay what are you working on

1:08:41

Whitney? I'm working on. Getting. People

1:08:43

to watch a podcast I'm I'm working

1:08:45

on a podcast together. Simple get us

1:08:47

are hard to know. What do you

1:08:49

like? Guess that this is my beard

1:08:51

I got yeah that's electricity to see

1:08:53

as I the and I guess it

1:08:55

it seems easy with what know this

1:08:57

is it's I literally have a bike

1:08:59

as I tore it. so what does

1:09:01

she work is I didn't read a

1:09:03

little her son. When your state and

1:09:05

comedian people have no respect for you

1:09:07

like you tube I can Somebody working

1:09:09

on Zelig of what. Do. A

1:09:13

job okay? Ah, is Annie

1:09:16

joining the podcasts? No

1:09:18

wait, what's the female comic gossip

1:09:20

That's. A good one. What? Is it?

1:09:24

I. Have some. Be. Do.

1:09:28

Their. Own. Ah, I

1:09:30

demand on on hubble thing really and yeah but

1:09:32

this is Instagram. Live Week certainly? clearly.

1:09:34

Can. Give.

1:09:37

It to be two people. No no, I

1:09:39

swore. I don't know, but unlike that's

1:09:41

not going to not not not do enough. Let

1:09:45

you play during the middle of a sings

1:09:47

disease have why litter and others are not

1:09:49

a. Beginner advocacy is

1:09:51

now I'm at list and get come.

1:09:53

Se ma means diseases any Had crabs

1:09:55

and Santa Fe a while back? Yeah

1:09:57

I hear the full story on good.

1:10:00

If you guys find out who my baby daddy

1:10:02

is, let me know! Ah

1:10:04

that's real that's actually real goes

1:10:06

ah all the okay hit me

1:10:08

with your favorite she's was sharp

1:10:10

cheddar get the they are give

1:10:12

a. But she's going to his

1:10:14

which town has the worst. Ah,

1:10:19

I'm not worse. But. When.

1:10:22

I was in Greensboro, North Carolina was

1:10:24

hard to really. I'm. Gonna go

1:10:26

to wasn't bad, it was fun but it was. I had to

1:10:28

be like. Hey. Belgian.

1:10:32

Years ago, don't do that is

1:10:34

done on. My own

1:10:37

business. And yeah, you know I

1:10:39

Oxnard number one. Fan: I'm Belgium.

1:10:41

I guess they don't laugh, they clap

1:10:43

instead. Oh analysts on. and so they

1:10:45

were just clap and it was like

1:10:47

time jarring and I felt like there

1:10:49

were mocking. Yeah, well. when we were

1:10:52

doing that in outdoor shows and people

1:10:54

were honking, that was a nightmare. That

1:10:56

was a goddamn nightmare Like us. What

1:10:58

women being haunted is like and another

1:11:00

to rise. Okay, any tear is always

1:11:02

so on point. Agree. Best city for

1:11:04

comedy outside L A whole of Salt

1:11:06

Lake City has been. Why is it

1:11:09

so ago I had an altitude. May.

1:11:11

Oh yes. So good. I like city. I

1:11:13

love. Chicago is my favorite August able.

1:11:15

To detect as a access anywhere in

1:11:17

Texas. Ever learn a different Miami Everyone

1:11:20

says that needs to go to Rehab.

1:11:22

I love it. Yeah, but it gets

1:11:24

all that my yami army. Okay let's

1:11:26

see. favorite actor or actress? What are

1:11:29

we? five? Ah, I'm winning

1:11:31

Cummings said about getting. Raped and

1:11:33

I saw some. Were

1:11:35

getting a raging that shows might. Have

1:11:38

easily why I feel more be boosted

1:11:40

of guys the accuse I did are

1:11:42

you don't you're missing out Fear queen

1:11:44

getting. Just morally be tough for you that

1:11:46

that is where were you playing a young

1:11:48

over my girl. For.

1:11:52

Like wearing a miniskirt to the of

1:11:54

makes asking for by the way arts

1:11:56

and for Zeke to rape her side

1:11:58

I may be as. That the ribs

1:12:00

when the in the show and see how them

1:12:02

over to like oh this guy rape me on

1:12:04

tv and he's like that of nice as I

1:12:06

areas may I might have. Like hell

1:12:09

out of it's own lazy or me

1:12:11

out as soon. As it doing

1:12:13

that because I can begin v shows as I. Can

1:12:16

you say that like I've played care. Of

1:12:19

that are already been saying.

1:12:21

I really have been since.

1:12:23

I was selling a good answer. you

1:12:25

are is like it activists, I tend

1:12:28

to the diapers. I didn't die. that's

1:12:30

all that. Such as such it amazing

1:12:32

Bird said I'm favorite actor address. The

1:12:34

I that's that's actually like an interesting

1:12:37

question. unless I love the guy. what's

1:12:39

his name? That always say the villain was

1:12:41

gonna say said he sought Michael Shannon. I

1:12:44

love Michael Shannon. I like Molly Shannon.

1:12:46

I I love Molly Shannon. Demolish and

1:12:48

In and White Lotus season One when

1:12:50

she's playing the character that couldn't remember

1:12:52

anything about the wedding. smart like I

1:12:54

just can't remit do I can remember

1:12:56

thing. It was still specific and so

1:12:59

funny. I'm obsessed with our ah ok

1:13:01

let's see are you so friends and

1:13:03

Howard Stern after he got wasted Jerry

1:13:05

Seinfeld place and stole a bowl from

1:13:07

there again you know, I

1:13:10

feel like you guys more let

1:13:13

this go where you sober. For

1:13:15

years I lived in Ivory has

1:13:17

no. I was at Jerry Seinfeld

1:13:19

House for a Fourth of July

1:13:21

saying it's and generally analog do

1:13:23

that anymore. Ninjas Is that Why

1:13:26

is our brains piano? But America's

1:13:28

where they know why. Because of

1:13:30

the indigenous people Know that's that's

1:13:32

not. That's Thanksgiving. Oh, you're

1:13:34

right, you're not alone with the burleigh.

1:13:36

When Mary and I'm a patriot, you

1:13:39

libs hard again. We love tags as.

1:13:44

So I am. so we go. End

1:13:46

like isn't just his idols are very

1:13:48

funny and like gregarious and I was

1:13:51

just i'm of trash i'm sauce and

1:13:53

I was. It's like making fun of

1:13:55

how rich they were and leg in

1:13:57

a way that I just like. Cause

1:14:00

that way I renounce thing in early August and I

1:14:02

just stole a bowl and I was funny where the

1:14:05

guy you to see they would node where's the boom

1:14:07

I don't remember I think of a Howard Stern's out.

1:14:10

Oh. You plan on having fun

1:14:12

either. Just like steel know I, you

1:14:14

know what you me undies. Know when

1:14:16

I know. We will never care as I was

1:14:18

just like alright doesn't take this but. Like out

1:14:21

of i don't remember, I'm going to okay.

1:14:23

This is the thing that I soon as

1:14:25

run to the with thousand a month with.

1:14:28

Very funny at the time what is a

1:14:30

bar called that's and most feel as that's

1:14:32

like the Betty Ford Anyway there's it's like

1:14:34

market were brought in as I was wasted

1:14:36

moving my ex boyfriends to ally with his

1:14:39

current grow from which is very nice me

1:14:41

from Santa Fe so I was like visiting

1:14:43

my friends were getting wasted I stole they

1:14:45

bought a house right next to this by

1:14:47

the they want to have a nice I

1:14:49

stole the like. The. sign that said

1:14:52

like two beers Yellen Stall I brought

1:14:54

her home and like woke up and

1:14:56

ever was madam. you know the do

1:14:58

you guys are you also add you

1:15:00

don't get it on now online there

1:15:02

nobody in your you all would hey

1:15:04

are big losers Another being a star.

1:15:07

Okay I have a friend who draghi

1:15:09

about the the next day with Americanize

1:15:11

side of a renewed every year, steals

1:15:13

ornaments off of every Christmas tree at

1:15:15

every party she goes to and then

1:15:17

give that ornament said the person the

1:15:19

next year that galleria it's. So funny

1:15:22

and so I don't know. I

1:15:24

just it's didn't go well. anyway.

1:15:26

it's cocaine. better than chocolate. I've

1:15:29

never had cocaine. Ah. Any.

1:15:32

Cocaine. Better than Chaco he saw. Who

1:15:34

do you think? it's hot? I'm. The.

1:15:37

Child My my Delilah Leo would I

1:15:39

was hot but nine overhaul why the

1:15:41

ago he got to all of for

1:15:43

yeah he's twenty eight now ugly and

1:15:46

hood I think it's hi I'm not

1:15:48

like I'm not into the timothy salah

1:15:50

may know why my I live like

1:15:52

men now just look like women as

1:15:54

at the micro plastics and I don't

1:15:56

know many who I think is hop

1:15:58

oh Tom Hardy I think. it's hot.

1:16:00

Still? Yeah. Have you seen

1:16:02

him recently? Why? What happened? He's fighting a

1:16:04

lot. Fighting. The face has become fought.

1:16:08

Foughted. Like, like, he's been on a

1:16:10

mat. Getting bro talk. His face has

1:16:12

been on a mat. You know

1:16:14

who's getting hotter? Mark

1:16:16

Wahlberg. Is it because

1:16:18

you're a Christian now? I

1:16:21

just find that I'm Jewish, so.

1:16:24

Did you? Congratulations. Yeah, my chosen

1:16:26

mom's dad. Oh,

1:16:29

fun. Yeah. How dare you.

1:16:32

Okay. Can we get Tom and Whitney

1:16:34

together? Favorite low key vacation spot? I

1:16:37

love Santa Fe. Okay, we

1:16:39

get it. You do. I love. We get

1:16:41

it. You're my hair.

1:16:55

This is already happened. It is already happening. That

1:16:57

already happened. It's already happening. Your hair

1:16:59

is dangerously long. Like something

1:17:02

like it's going to get caught in a drain.

1:17:05

Rip right out. Flip it all. Okay.

1:17:07

Let's see. Favorite comedian?

1:17:10

David Tell. Of course, David Tell. Number one,

1:17:12

always. The other night he was at the

1:17:14

comedy store. He said, I'm

1:17:17

at the age run midway between

1:17:19

Proud Boy and Oathkeeper. Annie

1:17:23

wants the wedding. I don't

1:17:25

know. I can't with this. You're having

1:17:27

a wedding. I should we just

1:17:29

do it here? Yeah, we can totally do it here.

1:17:31

You have to do it. I have

1:17:33

to officiate it or pay for it. No,

1:17:35

you don't have to pay for it. Oh, my

1:17:37

God. Let me guess. No,

1:17:40

I okay. Honestly, I'm so focused on doing I

1:17:42

want to get my comedy special and comedy special

1:17:44

and wedding feel like the same amount of bigness.

1:17:46

Can I tell you it's 100% comedians

1:17:49

never want to have weddings because it's just

1:17:52

a non monetized special. It's

1:17:54

basically like I just have to take a weekend off

1:17:56

for my job. So I exactly. So it's like I

1:17:58

have to write a speech. I get

1:18:00

so much attention every night. I kind of already have

1:18:02

a wedding. Everybody comes in the class. But what you

1:18:04

should do is you should do it more as like

1:18:06

the pressure should be on the guests to like give

1:18:08

funny speeches. Yeah. And you guys can just

1:18:10

be celebrated. Like you don't have to perform at your wedding. Well, Todd

1:18:12

wants a wedding. He's like really wants to have groomsmen. I'm like, so

1:18:14

we have to have a wedding because you want to be in a

1:18:17

tux with a dude at a

1:18:19

wedding. Like maybe you're gay. I really want

1:18:21

to see the... Maybe

1:18:23

you want to kiss your friend. I

1:18:25

feel like you... I cannot wait

1:18:27

to see the wedding dress you pick. I

1:18:30

a little bit yesterday was like, Oh,

1:18:32

maybe I could get into like... I just never

1:18:34

been like a wedding person. It's going to be

1:18:36

so Philly. It is going to be so like

1:18:38

mesh bikini top. Something. It'll be something. I feel

1:18:40

like you're going to have like a tiny hat.

1:18:43

Even if it's not in Vegas, it'll be Vegas,

1:18:45

you know? Oh, hot. Like full trash. Vegasy. Okay.

1:18:48

Let's see favorite song when you're alone or drunk.

1:18:50

Dude, I am the youngest person alive.

1:18:52

Therefore, my favorite jam at the moment

1:18:55

is the Willow Smith song, meet me

1:18:57

at our spot. I don't know it.

1:19:00

I think this was big like three years ago. I very

1:19:02

much enjoyed the script break even. One

1:19:05

of my favorite songs. Sing

1:19:08

it. I

1:19:10

don't like that. Wait, I mean the

1:19:12

song, the script break even. Break

1:19:15

even. Wait, I remember... Todd and I always sing it

1:19:17

on the... I remember this song. Hold

1:19:20

on. This

1:19:23

song. I

1:19:25

remember this song. This

1:19:28

song is so dumb. It's so good. Dude,

1:19:31

wait. It's so alive but I'm barely breathing.

1:19:33

You know what I'm into. So I love

1:19:35

a band that's funny, but I think

1:19:37

they don't know they're like a joke band. Imagine

1:19:41

Dragons. I'm

1:19:43

sorry if this is a hot take, but that

1:19:45

song, Sunda. Yeah. Sunda,

1:19:47

Sunda. I, by the way, I met him

1:19:50

here, bitch. You're friends with

1:19:52

him. Oh. You're

1:19:54

friends with Imagine Dragons. Oh. He's

1:19:57

dating a Minka Kelly bitch. We're

1:19:59

friends with him. We're friends with him.

1:20:01

This is why I cannot go live on

1:20:03

Instagram. It's been a pleasure. This is never

1:20:06

happening again I'm just like I love imagine

1:20:10

That's a thunder I

1:20:15

mean look wait I am Moving

1:20:17

on by the way, I think I might bomb with

1:20:20

your friends at your parties because I do I do

1:20:23

a thing when it's someone I'm a fan of I

1:20:25

go overboard thinking that they'll think it's cute and sometimes

1:20:27

I think it's too Much, but I went

1:20:30

up to Minka Kelly and I went I literally was like I'm weak in

1:20:32

the face I'm fainting and she's

1:20:34

like I Think that when

1:20:36

you sign up to me It's so hard to get

1:20:38

famous that you don't get to get famous and then

1:20:40

be like I don't want attention She wasn't being not

1:20:42

that way but I was like, I mean, I really

1:20:44

didn't know how to explain to her Nice

1:20:47

person. Oh, she's so gorgeous. Yeah, so she's such

1:20:49

a queen shocking to see her in person was

1:20:51

I couldn't believe my life Yeah She

1:20:54

does look like it if AI made Minka Kelly

1:20:56

but not to be weird because I felt the

1:20:58

same way about John Lovett's That same night. I

1:21:01

was weak in the easy liked it though Yeah,

1:21:03

that's his either if you When

1:21:05

we were watching this but the the only

1:21:08

fans thing and I was like, I

1:21:10

need you to think I'm funny I was like, I need you

1:21:12

to watch my set. I need you. Yes Okay,

1:21:18

yo from Michigan you look great with glasses, thanks so

1:21:20

much I'm blind Annie what's

1:21:22

your go-to Wawa order? Oh Well

1:21:26

now it's like me and an Uber ring. Yes,

1:21:28

I'm always together. I actually throw them through the

1:21:30

hoop. Um, I

1:21:33

like to meet boss up shorty Okay

1:21:39

They do but back in the day

1:21:41

yeah, we used to go I would get

1:21:44

my little shorty sub again Italian I like

1:21:46

the oil on the Italian. What's your favorite

1:21:48

game to play with friends? Naked

1:21:50

twister what aim to play

1:21:52

games like um Wait,

1:21:55

let me think what would it I would like actually very much

1:21:57

like to go to an escape room with you. Do you want

1:21:59

to? double date in the escape room? I've

1:22:02

dated Hollywood producers. I

1:22:05

auditioned for Harvey Weinstein. I've survived a

1:22:07

couple escape rooms. You should be richer. That's

1:22:09

so embarrassing. No. No,

1:22:11

by the way, I told you Harvey Weinstein came to the comedy store. I

1:22:14

didn't know this. Oh, yeah, he came to the comedy store to see me

1:22:16

once. And the person that was

1:22:18

working there, the manager at the time, called me and was like,

1:22:20

Harvey Weinstein's here. You need to come back and talk to him.

1:22:22

And he had already seen me in really good lighting because I

1:22:24

was on stage and I didn't want to come back because I

1:22:26

didn't want him to see me in comedy store lighting because

1:22:28

then I'm worried he wouldn't want to rape me. What

1:22:31

if he doesn't rape me out? But

1:22:34

wait, favorite game?

1:22:36

I've never done an escape room, not one time. We'll

1:22:38

go. It'll be fun. Really? Yeah. It sounds fun. They're

1:22:40

weirdly like I pushed my mom in one. I was

1:22:42

like, get out of the way, mom. But it's like,

1:22:44

do you have to do math? You

1:22:46

don't like math? I like math. I'll do the math. OK,

1:22:48

but is that what you're doing? You're looking through books to

1:22:50

find code? Yeah, you're finding things. Can

1:22:53

you get Ali Wong on the podcast? Nope.

1:22:56

Did you play, um, no,

1:22:58

it's called beef. It wasn't a

1:23:00

note. Did

1:23:03

you ever play Myst back in the day? No.

1:23:05

The computer game? What's your favorite essential oil? Are

1:23:07

these your fans? Guys,

1:23:09

I don't do, I mean, whatever you give

1:23:11

me. Favorite essential oil. By the way, lavender,

1:23:14

hashtag Dr. Huberman, says, I think it's not good

1:23:16

for you. So it's not lavender, it's pine oil.

1:23:19

Is good for you? Pine oil. I like to, sometimes

1:23:21

I'll smell pine oil when I need to pick me up. Spruce

1:23:24

is yep. Oh my gosh, we got to get our own Coke,

1:23:26

guys. Smoke weed

1:23:28

with Miranda Cosgrove. That is the best

1:23:30

idea I have heard all year. Last

1:23:32

time Miranda Cosgrove was on this podcast,

1:23:35

I accidentally made

1:23:37

the biggest TikTok sound ever by asking her her

1:23:39

favorite first word. And she was so cute

1:23:42

about it. And then this child star,

1:23:44

the sweetest person you've ever met, every,

1:23:46

people are just like, probably the fuck

1:23:48

they just yell the fuck at her

1:23:50

on the street constantly. Making her get

1:23:52

fake fucks flung on her at that

1:23:54

thing. Annie, red bars watching. Oh,

1:23:56

you promise? I am red bars. We

1:24:01

love you. We

1:24:03

love men that hate us. We can't help it. Okay,

1:24:06

where did you get your big break, Whitney?

1:24:08

Google me. By the way, she already told

1:24:11

you Harvey Weinstein. What's wrong with you? I

1:24:13

still haven't gotten it. You mean my psychotic

1:24:15

break in January? Google me. What's

1:24:17

your best blue ball story? What the f***?

1:24:22

I finished where I started. Mama didn't raise no punk

1:24:24

bitch. Um, all

1:24:27

right. I feel like we

1:24:29

had a good run. The best blue

1:24:31

ball stories was the airplane story

1:24:33

from the beginning of the show. Okay. That

1:24:35

you'll never know. Not the people, the police.

1:24:39

Can I tell you something? All you bitches listen up

1:24:41

right now. Every woman should know

1:24:43

how to cook. Every person should know how

1:24:45

to cook. This isn't a thing. What

1:24:49

is this? Go on Chris Willak's show. Whatever

1:24:51

that guy is. I saw

1:24:53

your clip where you're like, you're

1:24:55

like, women don't treat

1:24:57

your man like your girlfriend. Don't tell

1:24:59

them your stories from the day. I'm

1:25:01

like, imagine I'm not coming home talking.

1:25:03

I was like, I like your gossip.

1:25:07

Make sure you only just suck their dick and

1:25:09

cook them steak. Oh

1:25:11

my God. There's Colleen Maxwell's back. Here we go.

1:25:14

I have a full Chad wife. Women belong in

1:25:16

the kitchen. Okay. Suck

1:25:18

a dick, make it. I'm like, by the way,

1:25:20

her kitchen like didn't even have a fridge for

1:25:22

like two years. She's so full of. There

1:25:25

was like no stove for you. Okay.

1:25:28

So there's this new thing where like feminists

1:25:30

girls like I'm an independent woman. I'm a

1:25:32

feminist and like I don't cook. I don't

1:25:34

clean. I'm like, bitch, what do you do? Like,

1:25:36

what do you bring to the table?

1:25:39

Like you're just a filthy

1:25:41

starving. Like I

1:25:43

think it's okay to be able to cook for

1:25:45

yourself. Some of us are meant to be served.

1:25:50

Some of us have to be able to provide. Okay.

1:25:52

We got to stop. You were

1:25:54

blue and you needed to provide a lot more

1:25:56

when your hair was blue. Okay. Look. Anyway,

1:25:59

Ellen DeGeneres. go off. Do

1:26:02

you know her? Do

1:26:04

I? Um, no, I just, I,

1:26:08

we should never do Instagram lives. Pat

1:26:10

is sabotaging me. Um, go

1:26:14

to the Y. This

1:26:16

one. Oh my God. It's worth 25 minutes into

1:26:18

it. Gold

1:26:22

juice. I don't know what gold juice is. I know

1:26:25

that. So I think that

1:26:27

the gold juice is a metaphor. So when Taryn Mayden

1:26:29

came on and talked about being offered the gold juice,

1:26:31

which is kind of like a metaphor for

1:26:33

being in like the Illuminati, I still think

1:26:36

it's Scientology or like that

1:26:39

would be if there was such a thing as

1:26:41

gold juice, I think it would be Scientology. I

1:26:43

think it's like, look, shut your mouth. There's things

1:26:45

going on. You have to be more, if we're

1:26:47

going to get you, that's like higher level of

1:26:49

things. You better not be sloppy with our business

1:26:51

literal. It's like, if you sort of play

1:26:54

by our rules and look guys,

1:26:58

if you have gold juice for me, I'm

1:27:00

ready and willing. I will. I need

1:27:02

to stop talking. Do you understand how much my mouth has

1:27:04

gotten me in trouble? Some of the tape. Um,

1:27:09

this is gold juice. It's banana

1:27:11

soda. Annie

1:27:13

is clowning on my robot soda.

1:27:16

Okay. Reboot Whitney. I'd love to.

1:27:19

Um, boot Whitney or reboot? Reboot

1:27:21

Whitney. Oh my God. Your life

1:27:23

would be a good one right

1:27:25

now. What's happening

1:27:27

in your life currently would be a

1:27:29

great to come. It was. You don't

1:27:32

think so. Thanks. It's Harvey Weinstein's pee.

1:27:34

Mommy Whitney. Um, bring

1:27:36

back bear claw. Okay. She's bear claw is in

1:27:38

the closet with the ugliest clothes I've ever seen

1:27:41

in my life. There's a closet.

1:27:43

When is two closets where there's like regular sort

1:27:45

of ugly clothes and then there's a closet where

1:27:47

you're like, what? And I'm the sad

1:27:49

part. I think the closet with the worst

1:27:51

clothes are like the most expensive ones. Some

1:27:55

of those were like, I have

1:27:57

a closet full of, I've tried out many

1:27:59

personalities. None of them have gone well. So

1:28:01

there's sometimes she's with her. I tried them

1:28:03

out at the same time There is a

1:28:05

closet full of like I'm an

1:28:07

adult now. I'm like a CEO person. I'm

1:28:09

just one of you Like

1:28:14

and none of them worked and I just that's

1:28:16

like a cemetery of all the identities I tried

1:28:18

to have that didn't work and then I also

1:28:20

have my sex robot in there now Okay, I'm

1:28:22

raising my child. I am looking at a picture

1:28:25

of Did

1:28:27

you Mar make that Jim are didn't make okay.

1:28:29

Jim are Jim are neighbors made a piece of

1:28:31

artwork that I'm looking at right now That is

1:28:34

so psychotic someone asked honest thoughts

1:28:36

for drugstore June Now

1:28:39

I have not seen Esther's movie. I've ever I

1:28:41

haven't seen it. I was asked to be in

1:28:43

it and I had to pass I'll

1:28:46

be in the sequel. How about that? What

1:28:49

drugstore July drunk store

1:28:51

most recent concert bear tooth I just went

1:28:54

to bear tooth at the Wiltern. You should

1:28:56

have brought bear claw bear. Loved it I

1:28:58

know what's your most recent concert? Uh,

1:29:01

the last concert I went to I'm not a

1:29:03

concert I like to talk the last concert I

1:29:05

went to little people little people fight Oh,

1:29:09

yeah, and that was the part that was annoying Annie

1:29:12

to a show called Lucia vavoom and it's luchador

1:29:14

wrestlers and I was like, you know And it's

1:29:17

like there's like burlesque and you know Sometimes there's

1:29:19

like little people there and it's like really fun

1:29:21

and we're through like the second or third fight

1:29:23

of luchadores She's like if

1:29:27

there are not midgets in this show

1:29:29

I never said I'm going to lose

1:29:31

my shit She was legitimately like I

1:29:33

want and then to have like the

1:29:35

most beautiful Little people

1:29:37

women came out and wrestled each other and

1:29:39

I was fully satisfied with it was

1:29:41

incredible and I was Okay,

1:29:45

I feel like we had a good run on this

1:29:48

it's Todd releasing a greatest hits album He

1:29:50

should Todd has a hit song called she

1:29:52

allows about that he sings when I let

1:29:54

him have pizza That

1:29:56

is actually we'll get stuck in her head.

1:29:59

She allows me to eat

1:30:01

pizza today. She allows, she

1:30:04

allows, she allows. It's very

1:30:06

good. She

1:30:09

is loud. She is loud. Okay,

1:30:12

no, it was um, so we're gonna

1:30:14

start doing Instagram live on the show

1:30:17

and taking else questions. Live.

1:30:20

Yes, I am a permanent member of the

1:30:22

show. My name is what?

1:30:26

Ben. I love you guys. Thank you for

1:30:28

tuning into the live. I don't know what

1:30:30

camera I'm supposed to be looking at. Sorry,

1:30:32

it's the first time doing it. I'm sorry if this

1:30:34

is a big show. Love you. Annie Letterman. Thank

1:30:36

you for, um, thanks for having me. I love you so

1:30:39

much. Doing this. Is this gonna go on though? No,

1:30:42

I know how to stop it. Oh, stop.

1:30:45

I know how to stop it. Someone said

1:30:47

two of my favorite female comedians. Does

1:30:49

that, how do you feel when they say female comedian? I'll

1:30:52

take a compliment. I don't give a fuck.

1:30:54

I don't, I'll take a compliment. I mean, what do

1:30:57

you mean? Like instead

1:30:59

of just comic? I, like honestly, I, I

1:31:02

believe in gender. Uh, this is

1:31:04

a very hot day. Well, your shirt says something different. I'm

1:31:08

just saying like, I get if someone doesn't

1:31:10

want to watch them. Guys, I mean,

1:31:12

oh, this is an amazing man. She knows. Why

1:31:15

does he think I have ebony black pubes? I

1:31:18

know. The pubes is why. Or does he think that's my

1:31:20

vagina hole? Also, he made you honestly

1:31:22

look like me, but what does

1:31:24

the button do? It like is me yelling about

1:31:26

something. I'm just saying like, if you don't

1:31:28

want to see a female comedian, I have to say,

1:31:30

I'm going to see this female comedian tonight. Like, that's

1:31:32

fine. Like I do feel like there's certain genders and

1:31:34

jobs that I don't want and do want. Like, do

1:31:36

you ever get a manicure and you get like the

1:31:39

man? I

1:31:41

prefer it. You do? I prefer, I

1:31:43

don't want him doing my pedicure because we know what's going on

1:31:45

there. We know it's a little

1:31:47

foot fetish going on there. I'm just saying like

1:31:49

when I, like the man who's getting it done, he does it hard.

1:31:51

No, I hate that. I hate that. I would get like the husband

1:31:53

who's supposed to just like take the credit cards. I

1:31:55

like the girls doing my massage. Okay. I'm just saying, if someone's

1:31:58

like, I don't want to see a female comedian. to see a

1:32:00

female comedian no matter. I get like fine good. Well

1:32:03

all of the people rush in the room when I'm on

1:32:05

stage. Listen yes. Okay thank you. Whitney

1:32:07

if you don't want to see Whitney

1:32:10

perform come see me. Fuck

1:32:13

this bitch. I like that you

1:32:15

don't like the term female comedian because it throws you

1:32:17

in with the other ones. You're like I'm not with

1:32:19

them. No I'll pick me I'm like I'm not

1:32:21

like the other girls. No I'm

1:32:23

just like wondering I was just wondering if you cared

1:32:25

but I'm excited about my new glasses. Okay these

1:32:27

are my baby got a new pair of

1:32:29

glasses. How cute is this? They're so

1:32:32

cute. Tiny things it's like. Yeah you

1:32:34

have to get for baby showers. Watch

1:32:36

next. When does this come out? It's

1:32:39

out. We're streaming. Oh we're streaming.

1:32:41

Guys watch next Tuesday to see the cutest

1:32:43

present I ever got for Esther's

1:32:45

baby. It's so cute. Oh cute. I'm

1:32:48

proud of this. Is it a mom? Yes.

1:32:51

A baby mom. I said a mom.

1:32:54

Is it a mom? Did

1:32:56

you get her baby a mom? I

1:32:59

got a I got

1:33:01

an incubator that fits Esther too. I have to

1:33:03

say. They're gonna put Esther. That's my dad's. My

1:33:05

dad's actually gonna be the only mom that's gonna

1:33:07

be in the room. They're gonna put Esther in

1:33:09

the ICU. I

1:33:12

love you guys. Thank you for tuning in. This was really fun. I

1:33:16

just have to stop this. I don't know Come

1:33:18

to Annie Wood. Annie Wood and I'm doing Annie

1:33:20

Wood this weekend. Yes. Okay. Bye. Love you. you