0:00

Oh, Shalom. I love you guys. Thank you

0:02

for listening today. Esther Povetsky is on the

0:04

podcast. We're going to talk all about all

0:06

the things. But before that, I want to

0:08

let you know that I am going on

0:10

tour this year. I had a child, but

0:12

I'm not giving up

0:14

my career. Despite

0:17

what the trolls on Reddit want, I'm

0:19

still at it. June 28, 2024, I'm

0:21

going to be at the Warner Theatre

0:23

in Erie, Pennsylvania. July 6th, I'm going

0:25

to be in Las Vegas, Nevada at

0:27

the Mirage. July 14th, I'm going to

0:30

be in Edmonton, Canada at Kinsman Park.

0:32

I think this is the show

0:34

I'm doing with Burke, Burke Kreischer, right?

0:36

Great Outdoors Festival. I

0:39

am going to be adding more tour dates

0:41

soon all over the country. I'm going to

0:43

be coming at you. You know what? It's funny,

0:45

though. You know that I do those meet and greets after shows. I'm

0:48

not going to say which city and which venue, but

0:50

I got the text. They

0:52

won't confirm the show unless Whitney agrees to not

0:54

do the meet and greet from the stage after

0:56

the show, because this was a city where like

0:59

a fight broke out in the audience and they

1:01

were like, we just can't handle it. So I'm

1:03

going to keep doing the meet and greets this

1:05

year, but I think I just need to bring

1:07

some of my own security or something to help

1:09

with it all. I also have a new special

1:11

out. It's on OnlyFans TV. It's not porn. Don't

1:14

panic. You can watch it at work. The

1:16

porn's not going to come up. You're not going to see a

1:18

butthole. Unfortunately, just

1:20

go to of.tv slash Whitney for my

1:23

new special. It's called mouthy. I think

1:25

I had RSV during it, so I

1:27

do have a raspy voice, but

1:29

enjoy me being

1:31

a terrible mom. Hold

1:34

on. Sorry. I'm turning my. Why

1:38

as soon as you have a baby, you

1:40

just go so mom so fast. What do

1:42

you mean? Like when I send

1:44

texts, I say them out loud as I

1:46

type them. As

1:49

I'm turning off my sound notifications. Is

1:51

your iPhone screen already like those huge,

1:54

huge letters that are so embarrassing? No,

1:56

but it's my baby. OK, well, yeah,

1:58

it is my baby. We

2:00

stare at all day. I think I've gone

2:02

up a font size. Okay.

2:05

Like I wrote out our stuff today and I went to

2:07

60. That's not small. I went

2:09

to 60. Wow. Like this

2:12

morning. So it happens fast. And

2:14

I'm wearing glasses. Yeah, which I

2:16

like. It's hot. Well, you know

2:18

what's weird? I had not worn my glasses the

2:20

entire pandemic because I was stoned and

2:22

I couldn't see anyway. I feel like you wore

2:25

them sometimes on your show. On my talk show

2:27

I did. Yeah. Because I

2:29

couldn't read the prompter. I mean it. Love you mean

2:31

it. I always forget that you're such a big fan.

2:33

I know. It's really scary.

2:35

When I really let it all out,

2:38

it's like I need to tone it

2:40

down. I always forget that you're like

2:42

a Whitney Cummings fan. Have

2:44

I ruined that by being your actual

2:46

friend? No, not at all. Like

2:49

only actually like there's

2:51

so much I am shocked by by being

2:53

your actual friend after being obsessed with you

2:55

for years. Like I just picked

2:58

your... In an ironic way? What

3:01

do you mean? Like were you obsessed with me

3:03

in an ironic way? No. I

3:05

don't even know what you mean by that. No. Like

3:08

when people that I think are cool and

3:10

funny and smart are like I love you. I'm

3:12

like, oh, is this like how we like love

3:14

Britney Spears? I also love Britney

3:17

Spears. I don't know what you're saying. Like

3:19

you have something wrong with you for sure.

3:22

You know how you like someone ironically? That's

3:25

tricky to hear. No. Like

3:28

Shania Twain. Like I love Shania

3:30

Twain. But like... No,

3:33

you love her. You know what I mean? I

3:35

do love her. You're right. Okay. No,

3:37

definitely not. It's like... When you

3:39

tell people you liked me or was it like a secret? You're

3:43

getting crazier and crazier with these

3:45

questions. No, I wasn't ashamed to

3:47

be obsessed with you. But

3:50

the surprises like of

3:53

knowing you. I remember just being like, She's

3:56

like a tough girl. Like I don't know.

3:58

I just feel like you... I

4:00

viewed you as the site Hollywood Star

4:02

let anti projected onto what I thought

4:05

was about of i must have thought

4:07

that matter which no not that but

4:09

like just. You. Can do

4:11

share like you can take care of

4:14

yourself like you clean up like every

4:16

once I saw you still potter and

4:18

i my i would just like leave

4:20

the water and you like immediately like

4:22

cleats like you just or when on

4:24

a pig it he yeah ethicists I

4:27

didn't realize the of us assets like

4:29

same as pretty people would be though

4:31

i hate worth of would like to

4:33

clean up for themselves. oh thus. That

4:36

somehow the. How did I was in

4:38

a complete piece of. Chile and you're

4:40

also I do like I thought you

4:42

were attacking I just thought you were

4:44

How else can you be an article

4:46

in my it also hurts the as

4:49

it is a clean I is historically

4:51

you do it's weird were was A

4:53

or how's. I. Cleaned up water my

4:55

own ha and it sought to me and

4:57

I'll never get over it. Was a

4:59

core memory how low? like a

5:01

metal bar on sick when I

5:03

go to lead the news and

5:05

cellphone. I'm touring and I'm you know and

5:08

for me I'm having little quiet legs. you know

5:10

before I do shows that are good have to

5:12

kind of like power down and like do like

5:14

energy economy and people would come up to me

5:16

after the shows like that work. There. And look like

5:19

you who are the nicest. Person you've ever worked with

5:21

that I might have literally. Said thank you

5:23

for everything You dead and like high

5:25

and introduce myself I think what the

5:27

what? I'm going on Your so like

5:29

this big celebrity like and pretty and

5:32

sunny and like hat you know have

5:34

all this is really easy to assume

5:36

it's you don't know you that it's

5:38

gonna be. it's gonna not be that

5:40

way. It is What? How are people

5:42

behaving out there? I don't know and

5:45

maybe making them all up. Like

5:47

but is. Is based on like.

5:50

The. Julia Roberts movie where she played a

5:52

celebrity or or know the system to Catherine

5:55

Zeta Jones and Catherine Zeta Jones illegal Monster

5:57

is is basically Mommy Dearest The know like

5:59

where are get like I'm just curious where

6:01

the bar is coming from What it actually

6:04

by the way, none of this is even

6:06

a negative. It's like it makes sense to

6:08

me if someone is a superstar and they

6:10

dislike don't like have the energy or the

6:13

time to lake. And Queen

6:15

of Water and Them On isn't a

6:17

domiciled also suffer. I'd.

6:21

Say like you and I have

6:23

known each other for a really

6:25

long time. And

6:28

we were childless. For. Many years

6:30

grade segue we were child labor kit

6:32

is We have managed to get them

6:34

five minutes of talking not about kids

6:36

and it was like a be. Was

6:39

in her mouth. See. Had the

6:41

lead that the out that in the

6:43

main thing. When you become pregnant or a

6:45

mom is huge, it's all you. Can

6:47

talk about This is crazy that

6:49

we went so long. Not.

6:52

Having a baby and not losing.

6:54

That's an easy. He this is as you're

6:56

having a baby way too young of I marry that. This

6:58

is. Not it has a monologue you you

7:00

guys jumped. The gun It was due soon.

7:02

You guys started feeling empty in your lives in

7:04

just had one I guess I don't even

7:06

know them. Some keepers of them with I brian.

7:09

My brain I brought you the as it

7:11

is still time and California that's actually for.

7:13

Services are so I use citizens

7:15

who put it up for adoption

7:17

so. On and yes we went. I

7:19

definitely want long. Like did you think I

7:21

wasn't going to have wanted some point with

7:23

I thought of. As a person that was just like

7:26

gotta be lonely and sad and never have again. It's worth

7:28

and I just never give that. Saw it. You.

7:30

Never thought of me as someone

7:32

like think I just never thought

7:34

of you or me or any

7:36

of our few hours necessity necessity

7:38

as being felt like lot of

7:40

women size of us we didn't

7:43

have female organ. It never crossed

7:45

my mind now that we would

7:47

take the time to consider doing

7:49

anything but ourselves seattle and are

7:51

for it. This is how and

7:53

men as his Now I'm like.

7:56

i think some evil become mom's like src

7:58

where i liked my sam and my mom,

8:00

my sister, that was kind of like, they

8:02

always knew they wanted that, it happened early.

8:04

You're like a secret sister. You never bring

8:07

up. No, I know, I'm an only child

8:09

with a sister. Yeah. Yeah,

8:11

I know, everyone knows. Like

8:14

you never bring her up. Never. She's

8:16

not in any of your stories, like

8:18

from childhood. She's

8:20

not any photos in your house. I

8:23

don't know her name. It's because she's eight

8:25

years older. Don't know her name. No, you

8:27

were very close. Don't

8:29

know her name. No, no one does.

8:31

Okay, is she not wanting to be in

8:33

the limelight? She, no, I don't think she

8:35

does, no. She were just so

8:38

different, it would blow your mind. It

8:40

would blow your mind. Do you think you developed in reaction?

8:42

Because here's the thing, this is on topic, believe it or

8:44

not, I'm just not going on a wild tangent,

8:47

because I now have one child, and I'm

8:49

wondering if I need to have two, because

8:51

our only children, weird, but I,

8:54

what? I, this

8:57

is also something I think about 24 hours a day. Because

8:59

I also identify as an only child with a sibling, in

9:01

a way. Really? Yeah, where I

9:03

was kind of like, well, yeah. So you

9:05

have two siblings. I have so many siblings

9:07

neither of us know about. Honestly, my dad

9:09

was a busy man. So I have many

9:11

siblings. And I still picture every time you

9:13

say your dad, I think of Peter Gallagher

9:15

on the show with me, with like a

9:17

briefcase full of lies. Yes, my real dad

9:20

full of lies. Briefcase

9:23

full of lies. Should be the name of

9:25

my autobiography. And I look at your son and

9:27

I just I'm like, oh, he's gonna look like Peter Gallagher.

9:29

Yeah, I know, he's God willing. God willing,

9:31

we can get him on a WB. But yes, my,

9:34

it is weird though, also be prepared for

9:36

your baby to come out, looking like one

9:38

of your parents. My baby came

9:41

out looking exactly like my dad. It was

9:43

wild. Really? I know, it was weird. I

9:45

mean, their faces change truly every day. How,

9:48

really though? Yes. They really change.

9:50

I mean, like most people in LA, they have a new

9:52

face every day. Maybe it's just an LA thing. But yes,

9:54

his face is different every day. Like sometimes it'll look like

9:57

his dad, sometimes it'll look like my dad. It's

9:59

nuts. I okay Wow

10:01

I cuz all I want to know is

10:03

what it does this baby inside me look

10:05

like but if it's changing It'll change it'll

10:08

change well They say that in the beginning

10:10

that for the first couple months the baby

10:12

looks like the dad Right

10:14

so that the dad doesn't kill it right or

10:16

so that people Back then because

10:18

women were just getting raped so much that no one knew

10:20

who the father would be so that they would know who

10:22

the father Was of the baby, but my friend Nick

10:24

brought up a really good point Which is like they

10:27

didn't know what they looked like back then there were no there

10:29

are no mirrors in nature. Oh Well,

10:32

they're a pond Is

10:34

that I thought those

10:36

were like the original you guys you can't have a baby

10:40

She can't she does not have a

10:43

healthy relationship with her Are you telling me

10:45

that you can see your reflection in a

10:47

pond? I'm sure that if you what is

10:49

the last time you went to a pond

10:51

it I've never been to I've only seen

10:53

them in cartoons So

10:56

that may explain why I feel this way

10:58

because that's where princesses do their makeup So

11:01

it must be a look. Oh and ice

11:03

ice. They think you the ice is mirrors

11:05

Are you actually considering now going

11:07

the only child route? I look I I'm

11:09

advocating for It's in I'm honestly I'm that

11:11

way too because I'm kind of going like

11:14

okay all kids are a little weird You

11:16

know what I mean? I think I'm just

11:18

like looking for something to go like oh

11:20

only children are Selfish or self-absorbed

11:22

or self-involved is that bad? No, none

11:25

of those things are bad But I'm also going you know That's

11:27

actually not so many people I could also make the argument people

11:29

with two and three siblings You have to you end up

11:31

being neglected because the first two play with each other.

11:33

You know, there's no rules Yeah, that

11:35

kind of stuff. I think for me

11:37

like my dad was an only child and

11:40

then I am his only child So

11:42

it's like a lot easier for me to wrap

11:45

my head around like this isn't

11:47

a crazy idea No, it's not it's

11:49

like it's fine but I think I

11:51

think that I apply the way

11:53

that I parent is basically just how

11:55

I have dogs, so Two

11:58

dogs is easier than one because

12:00

they can play with each other and you never have

12:02

to worry about them being alone. But I don't think

12:05

two kids is easier than one kid. No, my and

12:07

again, I know nothing. I have not had this baby

12:09

yet, but it just from my observation. Okay, Esther, we're

12:11

podcasting. The whole point of podcasting is you pretend you

12:13

know stuff you don't know. Stop

12:15

telling them what they already know. We don't know

12:18

anything. You don't have to qualify. It was like,

12:20

hey, guys, we're not experts. They're aware. And

12:22

actually, I take it back. I am an expert

12:25

of observing women and it doesn't. Maybe as arrogant

12:27

as the men and just be like, we know

12:29

science. Like, just go. It

12:32

feels like one baby

12:34

is manageable and everyone with two

12:36

is drowning in babies. Yes, yes.

12:39

And my friend Zoe says,

12:41

I love it. She says having two

12:43

kids, it's like you're drowning and then

12:46

someone throws you a baby. Oh,

12:48

yeah. And I can't swim.

12:50

Yeah. I feel like to me, all the reasons

12:52

to have another one are so ridiculous. I'm like, well,

12:54

we only use these onesies for like two weeks.

12:57

So we should just have another kid so that

12:59

the onesie gets used more. We paid 40 bucks for

13:01

this thing. But that kind of makes sense to me.

13:03

I go like, I finally figured out how to do

13:05

this. Now I need to have one. Yeah. Now

13:08

that I'm good at it. Yes, that I do. The

13:10

first one's a wash. I

13:12

do get that. I mean, I just

13:15

cannot do pregnancy again.

13:18

And that's sort of where I'm at. Yeah. I'm

13:21

going to have the baby and then

13:23

want another baby. And I

13:25

don't want to do that. I think before I had the

13:28

baby, I was like, I need to have another one. But

13:30

also if I can just go back on my only child

13:32

comment, because I know a lot of siblings that

13:35

are two girls or two boys and all

13:37

the things that I just accused only children

13:39

of being of like self absorb, like, you

13:41

know, sort of like I'm the center of the universe. Their

13:44

worst because they had a little sibling they were

13:46

able to beat up on and like use as

13:48

their like assistant who like adored them. And

13:51

then they turned into that way. I'm

13:53

saying, I have not experienced

13:55

that. That's interesting. Yeah, you didn't adore your

13:57

older sister. You won't acknowledge that. I did. look

14:00

up to her and was obsessed with her, which is

14:02

why I'm probably obsessed with you, because

14:04

she wouldn't let me in her room. So

14:07

it's like I'm I invite you to my house every day.

14:10

Yeah. And I roll in here. I'm

14:12

like, I fucking own this. I own

14:14

this home. Um, cause that's how you

14:16

meet you do. By the way, eight

14:18

years that like, if you're kind of

14:20

not a sibling, if you're 18 and your 10

14:23

year old sister is trying to get in your room, she's gonna

14:25

like take a quaalude by accident. Like

14:28

that's dangerous for you to be in there.

14:30

I also was just like, would thought it

14:32

was funny to like fart on her boyfriends.

14:34

Like it wasn't a good, I know you

14:36

are like pig pens. Like

14:39

does like a little plume of brown smoke

14:41

just follow you around? Were you like

14:43

a dirty kid? I

14:45

feel like you were just like a dirty kid as

14:48

much as I was allowed to be

14:50

like booger. Yeah. Dirty is more comfortable.

14:53

And also in pregnancy, my hair doesn't

14:55

get greasy as fast. So I

14:58

am not bathing. What is your resistance

15:01

to basic

15:04

hygiene? So inconvenient. I don't like it. Is

15:06

this what it's like to be loved by

15:08

a man? No, this

15:10

is before that. This is in a while. But

15:12

okay. So here's

15:14

like the thing I keep thinking about the only child

15:17

version of things for us. Like

15:20

we've had so much life

15:23

that we were not moms. Yeah.

15:26

We don't want to, right? We

15:28

don't want to like totally say

15:30

goodbye to that. We

15:32

want to like kind of have it all. We

15:34

want to have the baby but still be us. That's

15:37

the possible. You want to still

15:40

lie in your bed all day after you have

15:42

the baby? You want to continue to be the

15:44

grandpa from Charlie and the chocolate factory? It

15:47

is so funny that I've called you.

15:49

What life are you talking about? I've

15:51

called you so miserable and like sickly

15:53

from bed while pregnant. And you're like

15:55

the only one that's like Esther, this

15:58

is how you always are. I

16:02

was like, I had not really thought of

16:04

that. And it really helped me. It

16:08

shouldn't, it should have been a rock bottom, but

16:11

I'm glad I could be helpful

16:14

to you. Okay, so it's like, you get the

16:16

clear blue, whatever one. You just

16:18

need a gadget. For

16:21

everything, you need a fit, you need like,

16:23

I just can't brush my teeth without my

16:26

charcoal floss. You are like such

16:28

a capitalist nightmare. You're like, I cannot

16:30

make any decision without Chinese trash telling

16:32

me what my body's doing. It's so

16:34

true. Like if I'm watching TV and

16:36

there's a Taco Bell commercial, I'm in

16:38

the car in five minutes. I'm like,

16:41

I need that now. But

16:44

it gives you a little smiley face. And then you know

16:46

that it's, this is a time where

16:49

it can work. What a creepy emoji. I

16:51

know. He's

16:53

like, yeah, let's go. But I

16:55

definitely throughout pregnancy, I've turned to

16:57

Dave and been like, after

17:00

this things are gonna be different. Like

17:02

we have to be really careful. And

17:04

he's just like, okay, with, come?

17:07

Like, what do you mean with

17:10

what? Well, so just

17:12

cause you don't wanna get pregnant again. No. Okay,

17:15

so pregnancy has not been a walk in the

17:17

park for you. No. Yeah, this has

17:19

been very tough on you. Has it really? But

17:21

okay, were you lying the whole time? I wasn't

17:23

lying the whole time. So I had, I'm not

17:25

saying an easy pregnancy. I,

17:27

a couple things. Number one, you guys might

17:30

know more than us, but I had a

17:32

boy and you had a girl. And this

17:34

is a real thing. There's gender. Wait,

17:38

I think it back. Gender is not real.

17:40

She's your own. I'm so

17:42

sorry. Okay, she's a

17:44

hula. She has to say that. No,

17:47

it's, it's, this is real. Yes. Cause

17:50

there's a lot of shit that's like old wives tale. And you're

17:52

like, okay, please leave me alone. I don't do astrology. But

17:55

like this is, I'm not a wiccan. There is

17:57

science behind this. If you are pregnant with a

17:59

girl, it is. is more likely that you

18:01

will experience extreme morning sickness than

18:03

if you have a boy. Because young

18:06

girls, baby girls, they are born

18:08

with every egg they will have

18:10

for their entire lives. Bleh.

18:13

Like what? It's so scary, I know.

18:15

Once I learned that, I was like, I'm done

18:18

being, I'm leaving being

18:20

a human. That is so gross. We

18:22

are animals, we're not people. Babies

18:25

are born with every egg they will

18:27

have. What? You pedophile

18:30

scientists. Who even found that out? Yeah,

18:32

why do we know? What's sicko found

18:34

that out? I'm over here just going

18:36

through all these studies about babies and

18:39

kids, and people are sending them to me.

18:41

I'm like, find the person that did this

18:43

study, and let's put them in the fucking

18:45

ground. There's one that's like, now,

18:48

babies' taints are getting smaller because

18:51

of microplastics and water, and babies'

18:53

taints were this size for the

18:55

past 30 years, and now they're

18:57

getting smaller. I'm like, who is

18:59

the weirdo that was measuring babies'

19:01

taints all this time for some

19:04

cross-sectional study that? Yeah,

19:06

that should not. What if they get bigger or

19:09

smaller in 40 years? We just need to have

19:11

some data. That's such a waste of research. So

19:14

I don't like any of these studies because they

19:16

were all conducted by sick pedophiles.

19:19

I agree, I definitely agree. That makes all

19:21

of that, made me uncomfortable, don't worry. You

19:24

did it. Like I just can't. The

19:27

5,000 babies where we measured their

19:29

cleavage, like what? What? Huh?

19:34

I don't care that babies are born with every

19:36

egg they'll ever have. I just don't like that

19:38

we know that. Yeah, no, I didn't need to

19:40

know. But we also, there's no way of knowing that. Right,

19:44

like what are you, how? How do

19:46

you, okay, I think sometimes people

19:48

who know nothing about science know

19:50

more. Oh, it's

19:52

like intuitive. Well, cause you're just like, you're

19:55

just like, that's not. It doesn't make sense. It

19:58

doesn't make any sense. Yeah. up

20:00

babies vagina like what do you mean yeah how

20:03

would you know but also you know

20:05

that we have no way of telling you you're wrong so

20:07

like if I'm a scientist I'm over here being like

20:09

here's this thing we discovered like who's gonna call you

20:12

out on it no one can

20:14

challenge you I would love to be your

20:16

doctor you know

20:18

like this doesn't feel true

20:20

like I don't know I just

20:22

I don't buy it did you

20:25

sounds good were you lying about

20:27

pregnancy the whole time okay like

20:29

fuck with my main symptom of

20:31

being pregnant was I became a

20:33

pathological liar no I think

20:36

for me I you I

20:38

think you and I are both like something

20:41

I love about our friendship

20:45

I just know you're hanging by a thread and I

20:47

feel like I'm usually like unnecessarily rough with

20:49

you because I love you and it's like

20:51

funny and I know you can handle it

20:53

and I don't mean rough I'm just starting

20:55

to like I was talking about

20:57

Leslie Jones about this the other day I was like I think we

20:59

come off scary I like

21:02

that though I know you like yeah but not everybody

21:04

you and you'll be like you won't you

21:07

you'll say the same like do you want

21:10

just me to hear you or do you want me to

21:12

like help you what is that question you want me to

21:14

listen or do you want advice and I do

21:16

you want me to just for support the decision

21:18

you've already made right and I'm all I always

21:20

say advice yeah like I'm not there's no reason

21:22

to waste a call with you and not get

21:24

your advice like that's crazy well I don't I

21:26

like that but you're right it made me realize

21:28

a lot of people don't want advice like I

21:30

but also it's just like I think I'm just

21:32

trying to be more self-aware because you know I don't

21:35

know maybe when you're in your 20s it's cuter to

21:37

be like bitch do this and then you get older

21:39

and everyone's like you're just being a bully or something

21:41

you know what I mean I don't know I've read

21:43

one YouTube comment don't worry it won't happen

21:45

again but uh but for

21:48

me like you and I I could be

21:50

more like you more vulnerable and more like able

21:52

to ask for help and more able to admit

21:54

like this doesn't feel good I'm uncomfortable I think

21:56

I was just so trained as a child and

21:58

not have any needs and be so self-aware contained

22:00

and just like growing up like playing sports

22:02

and stuff like you just couldn't have any

22:04

sign of weakness like and for

22:06

me it doesn't help to acknowledge

22:08

it whereas I think for you it does help it

22:10

helps for you to be like I don't feel good

22:12

I feel sick I need help I need to talk

22:14

to someone whereas I like if I feel uncomfortable I

22:17

will just pretend that it's not happening and

22:19

like not acknowledge it and just try

22:21

to like get stronger I mean there was a moment

22:23

on one of when you called me and you

22:25

were uncomfortable about pregnancy I remember just going I

22:28

don't know Esther you just need to get stronger like

22:30

that's the like

22:32

as the only way I know how to say

22:34

and you did inspire me and I still feel

22:36

like for example like now I'm at the eight-month

22:38

position and I think about seeing

22:41

you literally face timing with you the

22:44

night before your child was born and

22:46

you're doing push-ups and I'm

22:48

like okay so I can kind of at

22:50

least have that mindset in the back of

22:52

my head like that's an option for this

22:54

because I spend a lot of time on

22:56

pregnancy reddit and people are miserable yeah but

22:58

I think the kind of people that are gonna

23:01

go here's the other thing I think that you

23:04

only are okay

23:06

maybe I can't be a scientist

23:08

you're only keeping the data of

23:11

negativity no one's going out of their way to

23:13

be like pregnancy was easy pregnancy was amazing yeah

23:15

if you're the kind of person that has

23:17

had a relatively easy pregnancy or just the

23:19

mindset to not complain about it like no

23:22

everyone just thinks you're bragging or being

23:24

an asshole yeah I mean so I

23:26

think that like everything on social media

23:28

everything on the internet you're only hearing

23:30

the negative stuff and if you see

23:32

a hundred negative comments you're assuming it's

23:34

everybody was it ever really hard physically

23:36

or just anything like yes and I

23:38

wrote everything down because these are

23:40

the things nobody told that I felt like nobody prepared

23:42

me for and then my specific stuff like

23:45

nobody told me that your gums bleed okay

23:47

like gums were bleeding and they were

23:50

very itchy that feels like absolutely nothing

23:52

to me that's like okay

23:54

fucking bitch

23:57

like delete that

24:00

Cut that out of the episode. Who

24:02

gives a shit? Everyone's gums bleed.

24:04

Bloody gum? That's nothing. No, they

24:07

don't. You piglets.

24:10

Wouldn't you floss your gums bleed? That's honestly

24:12

a tough one, I'm realizing. Yeah, I know.

24:14

You are. That's the thing is you are, you're

24:17

a little spark plug answer, so I'm not scared

24:19

of you. Thank you for not saying mucus

24:21

plug. Did you have a... That's the other

24:23

thing is that we have to change a

24:25

lot of these terms around pregnancy. I know.

24:27

Pelvic floor, the vaginal ceiling, it's

24:29

just like a lot of architecture terms. Mucus

24:31

plug, it's all just like such a bummer on

24:33

top of it. My joints did hurt a lot.

24:36

I'm just telling you all the things that

24:38

I didn't want to... I couldn't in the third

24:40

trimester complain about anything because I just didn't

24:42

want to make it bigger than it was. And

24:44

for me, if I ignore something... I kind of

24:46

felt that because when I would call you,

24:48

I'd be like, how's the third trimester? And

24:52

you'd look like you were

24:54

about to moan and you'd be like, it's

24:56

fine. You'd be

24:58

like, it's totally easy. I

25:02

knew this was like, I've been waiting for this day. The

25:06

third trimester was my best though. I had the most

25:08

energy in the third trimester. I think I'm kind of

25:10

having that too. I was waiting for that to happen

25:12

for you too, because I know the first trimester is

25:15

the worst. You just have to get through it somehow.

25:17

I slept through most of my second. I also had

25:19

a thyroid condition. So my baby just ate

25:21

my thyroid. They're little vampires that don't care if we

25:23

live or die. And so I had to go into

25:25

thyroid medication. That really helped me. And

25:27

then I stopped eating sugar just because I wasn't craving

25:30

it. I don't know if this is true or not,

25:32

but the baby's blood type is apparently

25:34

what decides what you start craving. And I

25:36

got lucky and only really wanted meat and eggs.

25:38

Everything else made me kind

25:40

of nauseous. So maybe that's why I had the energy because I wasn't

25:42

eating a lot of sugar. Okay.

25:44

So joint pain? Joint pain. What did you do for

25:47

that? There's nothing to do. I was just in pain

25:49

at all. You get a rheumatoid in your hands sometimes.

25:51

And you just like, it's already hard enough to like

25:53

bend over. We get a lot of pride when we

25:55

get carpal tunnel. Yes, that's exactly. So it was like,

25:58

I was like, you know, those claws that. get

26:00

stuffed animals, like carnivals, like I just

26:02

you like kind of can pick things

26:04

up like, yeah, it was just that

26:06

was but I started I was exercising

26:08

and stretching a ton. Yeah, I would stretch like

26:10

three times a day because I was like, I just

26:13

didn't like, which is actually also you

26:15

start making relaxin which is what makes you

26:17

more flexible anyway. So yeah, if you stretch

26:19

now it's not gonna be as hard. Yeah,

26:21

you know, you're gonna be like more bendy.

26:24

The Charlie horses were bananas for me. I

26:26

have that started the last couple weeks like the calf cramps

26:28

in the middle of the night. You're just like, I

26:31

yeah, it's shocking. And I was like,

26:33

maybe this is some fucked up way

26:35

that nature prepares you for childbirth. Because

26:38

Charlie horses were worse. I

26:40

mean, a grand on childbirth, I was had an epidural but

26:42

I was just like I couldn't and I was like, you need to

26:44

drink water. I'm like, well, I we all know

26:46

that's not happening. This is another symptom that

26:48

is like so low that I've never even

26:50

mentioned out loud because it's so meaningless. What

26:52

are your what are your big ones? These

26:54

are small compared to what just general malaise.

26:56

And also I would I want to say

26:58

that taking magnesium glistenate has helped with the

27:00

cramps at night. Oh, good. Um, just in

27:02

case I can I say something though, what

27:04

we can cut this out if you want

27:06

because I went through this to Bridget Fettis,

27:08

he pointed this out to me. If

27:11

you are a regular cannabis

27:13

user, yeah, and you stop.

27:17

You're also going through cannabis withdrawal.

27:20

In a way, I wonder about and I

27:22

don't mean like withdrawal like you were like,

27:24

what drug addict I just mean your tolerance

27:26

for discomfort goes down a little bit. That's

27:28

all it is. Yeah, like things started tasting

27:30

really sweet to me like like, like, like

27:32

strawberries were like really sweet to me. But

27:34

it's also it's like, oh, like, like cannabis

27:36

like messes with your taste buds and you

27:38

know, stuff like that. I definitely like could

27:40

not turn to coping mechanisms which made that

27:42

was probably the hardest part of this pregnancy

27:44

is like all these discomforts and like there's

27:46

nowhere to turn like I couldn't even I

27:48

can't even like I mean, you could just think about

27:51

the joy of bringing a child into the world. Yeah,

27:53

but come on. What's leaving?

27:55

That's not real. You

27:57

don't know that experience that you can't think

27:59

about it. But for

28:02

me it's just like acid reflux. Why

28:05

is there a sour taste in my

28:07

mouth that hasn't gone away for seven

28:09

months? Like this is not, like that

28:11

sucks. But you know what was even

28:13

harder on me during my pregnancy? Telling

28:16

you to take an antacid and you not doing it. I

28:18

did though. I've started. I disagree.

28:21

Literally she'd be like, well I just talked to Rick

28:23

Glassman and he told me that I should do this.

28:26

And I was like, the guy, the Asperger's

28:28

guy with no kids? Do you remember everything

28:30

I say? Told you to do something different.

28:32

So you took his advice. He did? Literally

28:35

she'll be like, well Bobby Lee told me

28:37

that, and he looks pregnant at all times.

28:39

He knows more than you. Like I,

28:41

for sure. So it

28:43

was like having to argue with you

28:46

about doing very basic things. I did

28:48

start a prescription acid reflux medicine that

28:50

helped like the pain of it. There's

28:52

like no in between with you. You

28:54

either have to do some natural shit that

28:57

was made by like a

28:59

wizard in Culver City

29:01

or prescription. There's a Pepsi D.C. I

29:03

know. Just straight up. I

29:05

skipped over it. Just EBS, Rite Aid,

29:07

Amazon Fresh, that shit. It either has

29:10

to be like impossibly easy or it

29:13

costs money. I want to hear other things that

29:15

you drummed up just to like

29:17

make it seem like you're a human

29:19

being. Because you're embarrassing. I did. Look,

29:22

you do also start to like just

29:25

stink. You've always again, you've always experienced

29:27

your, you've always just smell like an

29:29

aquarium for no reason. But that was

29:31

new to me to just

29:33

be like, and I think it was, I

29:35

was bathing a lot. I bathe when

29:38

I'm pregnant, when I'm not pregnant. We get it. It's

29:40

like this weird OCD thing I do. But

29:43

I also was not doing like chemicals, of course.

29:45

But I just like stunk. Uh,

29:48

yeah. I don't know if that's nature's way of getting

29:51

men to not rape us when

29:53

we're pregnant or something. Like a

29:55

repellent thing. I don't know. Also,

29:57

third try. I don't want to say. like

30:00

you out, but third trimester I could

30:02

not inhale. I was having trouble

30:04

breathing. But

30:06

at that very end? It was just like, I feel

30:08

like he was just, cause they just compress your organs,

30:11

right? Like everything is smaller, your stomach

30:13

is tiny. I didn't have a big appetite in my

30:15

third trimester too, which made me like very anxious. I think

30:17

most of my thought was mental. Like I had people say

30:19

to me a lot, I think it's just cause I'm tall

30:21

and I carried well. I had a boy, I

30:23

have like a big torso, but people would always

30:25

be like, you don't even look pregnant. And I

30:27

think they meant it as a compliment. I am

30:29

sure obviously they did, but it made me be

30:31

like, is my baby small? Is my baby dead?

30:34

I think something's wrong with my baby. So I

30:36

was more in like the mental anxiety. I fully

30:38

have experienced that too, where people say you don't

30:41

look pregnant. And the first like six

30:43

or seven months before I now feel like I

30:45

look pregnant, I was like, my

30:48

baby's not growing. That's why I don't, this is

30:50

bad. But I think someone's just trying to say

30:52

you look really cute. People will be like from

30:54

behind, you don't even look pregnant. Why are you

30:56

looking at me from behind? What

30:58

are you, second, it was just

31:00

like that was not helpful to me, even though

31:02

I know people's hearts were probably in the right

31:04

place, but I was just like really stressed out

31:06

that my baby wasn't big enough. Wait, I have

31:08

a kind of heavy question for you, which so

31:10

a lot of times, like this

31:13

is more before I started taking magnesium to

31:15

relax, but like I would have these wake

31:18

ups in the middle of the night, where

31:20

I would just be in such a panic

31:22

of like, I waited

31:24

too long. Oh

31:26

my God, like family is the most

31:29

important thing. I can't like, I just

31:31

get into this weird, anxious

31:33

place. And I'm just curious

31:35

because you literally did this like after

31:38

both of your parents passed away.

31:41

And how did that, did that make the pregnancy

31:43

like harder, more emotional?

31:45

Like, I don't know.

31:47

I'm just really curious that perspective.

31:50

That's interesting. Cause I think about

31:52

like, there's something about like when

31:54

you lose both parents, I think something kind

31:56

of cool happens. Like where

31:58

you're just instantly. adult in ways that

32:01

you just can't be with parents. And that

32:03

that's not to say that people with parents

32:05

are immature, but it's like when your parents

32:07

are alive, you're always someone's kid. Yeah, that's

32:09

like the only way I know how to

32:11

describe it. Yeah, you're kind of like, once

32:13

parents die, you're like, Oh, like, I

32:15

have to make a will. Like you have to

32:17

do like very adult shit. Like no one's gonna

32:19

stop that my parents were ever very like parenting.

32:21

Like I was a parent by child. But it's

32:23

like, just certain things like that. We're like, you're

32:26

just the alpha now. And there's just certain shit

32:28

you stop doing. So it's like, I talk a

32:30

lot about boundaries and self respect. And maybe I've

32:32

been full of shit all this time. It's all stuff

32:34

that I've wanted to be able to do effortlessly, but

32:36

I wasn't able to effortlessly enforce a lot of these

32:39

like protocols that we talk about, like the energy dollars

32:41

and having boundaries and cutting people off and like, you

32:43

know, say what you mean, we would say don't say

32:45

I mean, like, there's just a certain level of maturity

32:47

that you instantly it's like having a software update on

32:50

your phone or something. It's just like new, you just

32:52

like see everything very differently. You don't

32:54

pity yourself the same way or play the victim.

32:56

Just little things like that. When you're done with

32:58

a phone call, you get off. It

33:00

may be is that from having

33:03

parents pass away or having a baby

33:05

or bowl? I think it's from having

33:07

a baby. But I'm sorry, having parents

33:09

die, because also you've watched people die in front of

33:11

you. And you have a very, like, deep

33:13

understanding that we're dying. Like every day,

33:15

we're just slowly dying. Like

33:18

we're dying. Like that's a great lot of people

33:20

don't spend a lot of time thinking about that.

33:22

Like when I see friends and bad relationships and

33:24

like doing shit, and I'm just like, you're literally

33:26

dying. And this is how you're choosing to spend your life. I actually

33:28

think that's such a much more articulate way

33:30

of expressing what I'm saying that I have

33:32

in the middle of the night while pregnancy.

33:34

It's like, I wake up and I'm

33:37

like, we're dying. Like, yeah, this is that

33:39

I got to do this because there's not a

33:42

lot of time just decided to have a kid.

33:44

Yeah, at eight months pregnant. And you've decided you've

33:46

decided this is something you're committing.

33:48

Well, this is something I'm curious

33:51

about. Like, I was never like, I

33:53

have to have a kid my whole life. But

33:55

you know what I'll say?

33:58

I wasn't but then I had a couple friends. point out

34:00

to me, they were like, well you froze

34:02

your eggs at 30. Like I did all

34:04

these things that I didn't really realize. I

34:06

always knew I was gonna have a kid

34:08

later. Got pregnant at 40 and

34:11

I said to my friend Genevieve, like

34:13

I was like, oh my God, is this crazy that I got pregnant

34:15

at 40? Like this is like crazy. I got like naturally pregnant at

34:17

40. And she was like, Winnie, you always said you were gonna do this.

34:19

And I was like, what are you talking about? And she was like, I

34:21

met you when you were 35 and I asked you about

34:23

kids. And you were like, I'm having a kid at 40. And

34:26

she's like, I thought it was so weird because I

34:28

was like, you know. So almost it's like

34:30

all subconscious. Like, yeah, she was like, you said, you were like, I

34:32

don't know if it's gonna be adoption. I don't know if it's

34:34

gonna be for my frozen eggs or what it is, whether I'm with

34:37

someone or not, I'm gonna have a kid at 40. And

34:39

she's like, you always said that to me. And I guess I

34:41

didn't even realize I was saying it, but it was just, yeah,

34:43

almost like a subconscious, just like plan. But here's what I didn't

34:45

wanna do. I didn't wanna worry about it

34:47

a second before I was gonna do it. I wasn't gonna just like

34:49

spend a bunch of time and be like, is it this

34:51

guy? Is it this guy? Is it now? Is it

34:53

now? Thank God. Thank God I didn't have a baby

34:55

with a blue man. That

34:58

could have happened if I did it when I was 34. Like

35:00

a blue man group? Like a blue man? Yeah. Okay.

35:03

He was in the group. Oh my God. When

35:06

he was a backup. Okay, is that her, I think?

35:10

What is it called? When you're the, like

35:12

if the main one gets sick. Oh

35:14

yeah. But they have to wear all the

35:16

makeup in case

35:18

one gets hurt. They do

35:21

not have to wear them, no. No, they go

35:23

Broadway. Don't listen

35:25

to her. There's

35:27

no, they're standing, there's always

35:29

four blue men in full

35:32

just praying that one of them braised her ankle. I'm

35:38

telling you, the show must go on,

35:40

Esther. I think I know how

35:42

showbiz works. You think they're

35:44

just out there winging it with four men in

35:47

makeup? One of them falls

35:49

off a drum. There's

35:51

no time, you know how long it takes to get blueed

35:53

up? It's really hard. Yeah. So

35:56

there's four guys at 365 days a year. No,

36:00

and that's what you. Put on full makeup and

36:02

just sit there waiting. As if you dated? Wait.

36:05

When? I've like studied your whole history. I

36:08

don't remember this. This is

36:10

new information. There's a couple blind spots.

36:14

Even I won't acknowledge that. That's right. Okay.

36:17

Which is fair. I feel like we all have ex-boyfriends that

36:19

count and ones that don't count. Yeah.

36:22

I think between the ones that counted, I

36:24

would always go so far in

36:27

the direction of like ridiculous just

36:30

so that it wasn't like when I

36:32

say I would rebound with people, they

36:34

were professional athletes. They were

36:36

literally remounders. Like I

36:38

would go so far because

36:41

I was maybe still hung up on the other person or

36:43

didn't want to

36:45

get in something serious. Okay.

36:48

Back to I

36:50

think there's like people. Let's just say I've put a couple of

36:52

men on tape for auditions. What

36:55

do you mean? What

36:59

do you mean? Let's just say. I'm

37:03

a mother. Okay. Sorry. I'm,

37:05

you're disturbing me. You young slut. I

37:09

am someone's mommy. When I look back,

37:11

I mean you really, gosh, like

37:14

what's the weirdest like vocation you've ever dated?

37:17

I did a paramedic. What?

37:19

Yeah. Which I was like,

37:21

he used to be a paramedic and I was like,

37:24

why did he stop? Because he

37:26

was a loser. I don't

37:28

know. How do you become a paramedic

37:30

and just be like, not for me. Don't you take

37:32

a bunch of classes? Because it's no, it's like

37:34

being a paramedic is not like, it's not

37:36

that hard. This makes a lot of sense

37:38

actually. Yeah. Paramedics are like the

37:40

chiropractors of ER people. They're just like

37:42

guys. Just like guitar. They're

37:45

not. I think this is, I think this is.

37:47

It's not what you think. It's

37:50

like how you think when you're little, if you call 911,

37:52

someone's going to show up. It's not

37:54

like that. It's like, nobody comes. It's like, is

37:56

it like a mall security guard? It's

37:59

a little. bit like that. Yeah. But

38:01

how do you know? Because I

38:03

know I tell you I wasn't I did have

38:05

my ear bitten off and they send the paramedics

38:08

and they did look very overwhelmed.

38:11

And when and when they saw

38:13

my ear hanging off, they're like, like they

38:15

they were all I was like, why are

38:17

you freaked out? I know you guys shouldn't

38:19

be freaked out. They're just to get you

38:21

from point A to B. They're Uber drivers.

38:24

Yeah. Yes. But they're more they don't have

38:26

like a degree. I'm pretty

38:28

sure no. It's like a simple training.

38:31

And then they like no CPR. Yeah,

38:33

it's very uber adjacent. Like my door

38:35

dash driver is probably who showed up

38:37

for your ear. Okay.

38:39

So let's

38:42

just cut the shit. Let's talk about

38:44

why my skin looks so amazing. Okay.

38:47

Is it because the lighting on the

38:49

podcast looks like the surface of the

38:51

sun and I'm just a snowman? No,

38:54

silly. It's Genusel skincare natural clean and

38:56

free from mineral oil parabens and harmful

38:58

chemicals formulated by a compounding pharmacist. It's

39:01

cruelty free. I'm obsessed with Gen 90.

39:03

This it's the new

39:05

instant wrinkle treatment from Genusel. I've been using

39:07

it since Dr. Drew told me about it

39:10

a couple months ago. Gen 90 instantly reduces

39:12

the appearance of wrinkles anywhere you use it.

39:14

I use it under the eyes on the

39:16

forehead like the crow's feet. Laugh line

39:18

starts working in seconds. Okay, that my skin is

39:20

so tight. If I got murdered by a psychopathic carnivore

39:22

and he's getting me alive to wear me as a skin suit,

39:25

it wouldn't even fit him. Gen

39:27

90 technology is a game changer. Honestly, I

39:29

may put it on my hoo-ha now that I have given

39:31

birth. So it's all snatched back

39:33

life hack. I'm sure they're gonna drop me after

39:35

I said that. But why not? It's skin

39:37

skin is skin. That's my

39:39

model. Gen 90 is on

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sale now at genusel.com. And

39:44

it's of course included in

39:46

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39:53

I'm and I'm I look as young as

39:56

my baby. And I think that's

39:58

a healthy goal. All

40:01

right, so let's just talk about my voluptuous

40:03

lioness hair. I've always been terrified of losing

40:05

my hair ever since watching the craft when

40:07

I was a teen. It's

40:10

been kind of a recurring nightmare and once I got pregnant

40:12

I mean it truly became a

40:14

reality. Okay, that's I

40:17

just started balding, okay, which has really put

40:19

a strain on me and my son's relationship for

40:21

the first couple days he was here. He was

40:23

not so much my child more just the vampire

40:25

who ate my hair follicles but we've we've

40:27

worked through it haven't we buddy. The only

40:31

thing we're horrifying than knowing you're gonna give

40:33

birth is being pregnant and seeing an entire

40:36

guinea pig of your hair matted

40:38

up in the train. So gross.

40:42

Like hair thinning it why is it fine

40:44

when it's on your head and the second it falls off

40:46

and gets wet you're like like that was it

40:48

on my I was just carrying that around on

40:51

my dome for years like

40:53

a while. The

40:55

point is hair thinning impacts a lot

40:57

of us. Thank God Dr. Ben Talley

40:59

actually suggested that I take neutrophil no

41:01

business like I was taking

41:03

it before they even started sponsoring the show and

41:06

I started taking it started working and now when

41:08

my friends like oh my god are you balding

41:10

it from pregnancy and aha I'm gonna babit and

41:12

I'm like no actually I have so much hair

41:14

right now I could make tons of those little

41:16

Blair Witch Project like twig bundles

41:19

and I'd still look like Rapunzel bitch. Try

41:21

neutrophil because over half of us will experience hair

41:24

thinning at some point in our lives. It's not

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only common it's just normal. Join the

41:29

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41:33

is complicated the problem is it's much

41:35

bigger than your hair alone like your

41:37

skin your hair is a reflection of

41:39

your health it's these internal factors can

41:41

impact the way your hair grows and

41:44

feels and looks and neutrophil is a

41:46

whole body approach that multi-targets underlying root

41:48

causes sorry for the pun like

41:50

stress hormonal fluctuation nutrient gaps for

41:52

visibly thicker stronger hair it's a

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number one dermatologist recommended hair growth

41:56

supplement with 1 million people now

42:00

Tailing it now that they take Neutrifold. They're

42:30

not like humans. We're animals and we're

42:32

not meant to survive childbirth. Yeah,

42:35

that's a concern. I think about that a lot

42:37

too. Sorry, just so you know, most EMTs work

42:39

as EMTs for a couple years to get

42:41

some experience, some experience before

42:44

undergoing additional 1200 to 1800 hours

42:46

of training to become a paramedic. Some

42:49

of them require you to have worked as an EMT for

42:51

six months. So all of this is more work than

42:53

you've ever done in your life on anything. That's

42:55

a lot of hours, yeah. I

42:58

can't count that in the hour. So

43:00

tell me more about that schlub you

43:02

dated, that loser. He was very fit.

43:04

Yeah. What was his

43:06

relationship? How did you meet him? It was

43:08

just a quick little like we were both

43:10

working as waiters somewhere. He was a paramedic

43:13

turned waiter? Yeah, you're not, I feel like

43:15

you're not keeping up. I'm, I think

43:17

you're, I just think you're wrong. I

43:20

don't, I think you're getting this backwards. I just, so

43:22

maybe it sounds like he was an EMT.

43:24

Why would someone quit? Did you ever ask

43:26

him about himself? Usually

43:29

you don't have to ask guys that they'll just tell

43:31

you. I don't remember honestly.

43:33

Maybe I didn't. And so how bad

43:36

of a waitress were you? I, oh,

43:38

I'd love to answer that.

43:40

I didn't make it

43:43

to the final round. The table.

43:45

I did not. It was the

43:47

Hard Rock Cafe in Hollywood that

43:49

was the opening and I did

43:51

like three weeks of training where

43:53

I earned the pins and did

43:55

flashcards. And then like the

43:57

big test day came and I was like, I can't

43:59

memorize. I'm gonna get by on personality

44:01

rising whoop and then I

44:04

think what like the menu I don't yeah,

44:06

oh and I never had alcohol so it's

44:08

like I'm not gonna memorize. I don't know

44:10

this stuff Yeah, yeah, yeah, and so then

44:12

it was actually a night. We're at a

44:14

gig in La Jolla So if it's

44:16

someone is like oh, I would like to get a cosmopolitan.

44:18

What's in that again? The

44:20

waitress need to know it's Google

44:24

it yeah, yeah, so they were they were asking too

44:26

much, so I thought it would be fine

44:28

I turned in my test and she was like this is

44:30

like all blank And I was like yeah, and she's like

44:32

you have to stay in for this I was like I

44:34

had a big show in La Jolla, and she's like Okay,

44:37

you've been Demoted to guest

44:40

and like I never made it to the tables.

44:42

What's a guess like you can stay here if

44:44

you want We're

44:51

not asking we're not banning you

44:53

yeah, which is huge admit admit

44:55

to me now, that's huge I

44:59

mean there's some debate in the back Decided

45:03

that we'll let you eat here That's

45:09

wild yeah, can't picture it So

45:12

tell me what do you feel like because

45:15

I feel like you've had I don't know

45:17

I don't I when my friends get

45:19

pregnant. They normally just disappear Do you

45:21

know what I mean? This is the first time in my life that

45:23

like I'm pregnant at the same time a friend is pregnant

45:25

or like you know We get all so it's like I

45:28

I Honestly have

45:30

it usually when my friends get pregnant They just kind of disappear,

45:32

and I don't know what happened when they

45:34

disappeared because I frankly didn't care to ask

45:37

I just figured it was like oh you're pregnant now And

45:39

why would you why would you want friends with me?

45:41

Yeah, and now I look back and I'm like oh I

45:43

was such a bad friend because when I got pregnant I

45:45

felt so lonely like instantly that you were like

45:47

you prepared me You were like no one's

45:50

gonna want to be your friend anymore. It's

45:52

over and it was like oh, that's true Yeah,

45:54

cuz you can't do drugs with anyone no exactly

45:56

and they're like I when you can't do drugs

45:58

with us And you're so in control And it's

46:00

like I fully I think cuz I've gone through

46:02

this so much. I don't fault anyone It's like

46:05

it is a sad weird thing. It's like well. Yeah, I

46:07

I Wouldn't want to be friends

46:09

with you if you were going through this completely life-changing thing

46:11

And then I'm not and it seems harder like you don't

46:13

know what to ask you don't know what you know what

46:15

I'm saying It's like you don't know what to say look

46:17

when my friends got pregnant It's just sort of like how

46:20

is it like I kind of care Yeah,

46:22

I also don't know how to help you solve it

46:24

and I have no way of understanding it at all

46:26

I just look I'm like God that must be so

46:29

hard like don't you want to just hang out with

46:31

pregnant people? Oh, yeah, that works you just graduate to

46:33

mom and like I'll see you when I catch up

46:35

Like that's always how I thought it would go and

46:37

also like as a pregnant person When

46:39

you're pregnant it is hard to talk to people that haven't been through

46:42

it Yeah, cuz they're just like talking

46:44

about their day, and you're just like why do

46:46

you who cares? It's this is

46:48

real, and I know there was care about the

46:50

other person. Yeah, I don't fault anyone

46:52

I don't get it like my interests

46:54

have just become and you're like get

46:56

away from me What do

46:59

you mean because you're like you're smoking

47:01

your perfume? Yeah,

47:03

you're vaping you're having fun You're just

47:05

yeah, like I don't like get I

47:07

don't think all this is giving my

47:09

baby autism Like you're giving my baby

47:12

brain damage. Yeah, also. It's like

47:15

It's just such a things are really

47:17

changing I'm curious to see what will happen

47:19

like if I'll be able to maintain friendships

47:21

with people who don't have children Like I

47:23

should be able to but I don't see

47:26

it being like I It

47:29

just seems harder But on the flip

47:31

side like now because of you introducing

47:33

me to like Rachel Feinstein and then

47:35

Rosebud and I like connected I Just

47:39

feel like oh, there's all these new

47:41

relationships where it's instant closeness. Yeah, it's

47:43

just so glad you and Rachel are close Should I

47:45

tell you how to pronounce her name? Now

47:48

that you're good friend. Yeah, I think it's Feinstein But

47:52

your Jewish I know you guys can do

47:54

that for me. It's a hate crime. Okay,

47:56

should we call her? She's in one of

47:58

the tunnels Do you think she

48:01

gets reception in the tunnel she lives in? But

48:05

that's yet, no, that's another big thing. Like

48:07

people, it is wild. It's like people that

48:09

you've been really close with. People do not

48:12

want to, they don't want me anymore.

48:14

No. And I'm like, I actually get it.

48:16

Okay. But also something

48:18

happens. I think this especially happened, I think,

48:20

with you, where it's like, like the way

48:22

that we're treated in your workplace or whatever,

48:24

for us, we're women at the

48:26

comedy storage. I mean, it's always like, let's see how far

48:29

we can push them. Let's see how

48:31

much we can test them. Let's haze them. Let's

48:33

whatever. Punish them. Guys do that

48:35

to guys too. Girls do it

48:37

to girls. Everyone does it to everyone. But,

48:39

you know, it's kind of like you're always kind

48:41

of being flirted with in a way

48:43

by the guys. Teased made fun

48:45

of. Teased made fun of.

48:47

I call that flirting. Okay. Okay.

48:51

You're falling pretty at a difference. That's all

48:53

it is. You see that differently than

48:55

I do. Well, just because I can

48:57

see it. You just don't, you can't

48:59

physically see it because you're a midget. But

49:01

like, but then you're pregnant and all of

49:03

a sudden everyone's like, whoa, like

49:05

she's like an adult. Yeah. And they

49:07

don't want to be in front of you. They take you more seriously in a

49:10

way. And then all of a sudden,

49:12

everyone's like the guys that used to just like, haze

49:15

me or now like, do you need anything? Do

49:17

you need a water? Like, you know, like it's

49:19

just kind of, or they just don't engage with

49:21

me at all. Yeah. It's just, it does really

49:23

change a lot. Yeah. And

49:26

it's, yeah, I don't know. I

49:28

think you take yourself more seriously too, in a way. And

49:30

so the energy you give off is different. I

49:32

actually do. I'm not going to like hug everybody. I'm not going to like touch

49:34

everybody. I'm not going to like stop and talk to everybody and give them

49:36

whatever they need for their egos. And I'm like in

49:39

and out. And for me, that's so real. For me,

49:41

that comes from, I'm in so much discomfort. Like, and

49:43

I have the excuse now. Like, I don't

49:46

have to, I just can't.

49:49

Yeah. You can't even. I

49:52

can't answer that call. I can't, I'm not

49:55

doing it. I'm not responding to texts now.

49:57

I'm so uncomfortable. doing

50:00

to manage your discomfort? Like what

50:02

are you what's your survival strategy for

50:05

forcing myself for me in the beginning I just slept.

50:07

Yeah, I'm not asleep. You're not a lot you're not able

50:10

to sleep. I sleeping is very hard has always been hard

50:12

for me my whole life. So that's like not a comfort

50:14

for me. But trying to go

50:16

on walks, I've started journaling more than I've

50:18

ever journaled in my life like since high

50:21

school. We will be publishing those pages and

50:23

the show notes and my life before I'm

50:25

so sorry. This is like my Asperger is

50:27

like, what

50:31

do you write at a journal? Okay,

50:33

this is a really good question. I

50:35

agree because I write in a journal

50:38

as if it's going to be published one

50:40

day. That's the problem. And I write

50:42

for the masses. I'm curious what you

50:44

think about this take I have. So

50:50

I think that I am realizing

50:52

through pregnancy this slowly transforms

50:55

you into being

50:58

not selfish. And

51:00

I have spent so many years

51:02

of my life as putting

51:04

myself first for sure I like it's about

51:06

me and that makes sense. Like why wouldn't

51:09

it be? Yeah, it doesn't mean like I'm

51:11

an asshole or a jerk. It's not like

51:13

my needs are met first and then I

51:15

can be cool and fun for everyone else.

51:19

But I've also always observed my

51:21

mom my sister they do not

51:23

put themselves first. They had to

51:25

put you first. Yeah, I

51:27

can see that. And

51:30

I'm just like, damn, do women

51:32

need to be a little more

51:34

selfish? Like this pregnancy make us

51:37

so selfless.

51:39

And that's not I don't

51:41

like that. I don't even know if it's a man

51:43

woman thing necessarily because I don't see gender. But I

51:46

think that like, you know, it's fascinating

51:49

because it's like I actually felt pretty good

51:51

during pregnancy. Like we talked about that. Like,

51:53

but I my theory on it, it was the first time I

51:55

was ever eating well and taking care of myself. It was the

51:57

first time I was ever sleeping the first time I was sleeping.

52:00

I was ever really like we're so different taking naps

52:02

when I needed a nap and meditating and like taking

52:04

vitamins like I'm the first time you You put yourself

52:06

first and took care of it. Yes. Yes So

52:09

I was like do I just feel good cuz I'm for

52:11

the first time in my life like eating like I

52:13

should have always Eaten and like I was never and

52:15

I wasn't on birth control You know I

52:17

mean like there was like so many things. I wasn't like

52:19

taking anything to sleep I was like this is

52:21

weird and how sad is the way that I

52:23

took care of myself before that being pregnant is

52:26

the best I've ever felt still wasn't great But

52:28

I just think it was like the first time

52:30

that I'd been like eating healthy and like hydrating

52:32

and like not drinking a ton Of coffee and

52:34

I wasn't surrounding myself with like people that were

52:36

vampires and I was saying no to things and I wasn't overextending

52:38

myself So I was like so it was like it's

52:40

a hard for me to gauge because I've always taken

52:42

such bad care of myself I don't know

52:44

if pregnancy was a step up That

52:47

is so the opposite experience that is so

52:50

interesting that like two humans can be so

52:52

different because like for me I feel like

52:54

pregnancy is the first time in my life

52:56

where I'm not able to put my mask

52:58

on first when the plane is going Down

53:00

I'm like it's all about what's inside of

53:02

me, and I'm so uncomfortable And

53:05

I can't like but there's no difference between you and

53:07

your child and so when you're quote unquote selfish

53:09

moving forward You're being selfish on behalf of your child

53:11

cuz children can't advocate for themselves, so when you're saying

53:13

like no We can't do that. It's not like Esther's

53:15

being a bit. It's like no you're protecting a child

53:18

Oh, where it's like as adults. We don't protect ourselves That's why it's

53:20

like when you do the inner child work you see

53:22

yourself as a five-year-old and you eat as a five-year-old

53:24

And you you know do

53:26

sleep as a five-year-old and I kind of

53:28

said my making sense Yeah, so how do you

53:30

feel now that you've had the baby? Do

53:33

you feel this like a new

53:35

sense of selflessness or is that? How

53:38

you've always felt or like like I don't

53:41

know. I'm just I think my thing in

53:43

tell me if I'm not being self-aware I

53:45

always Wanted to

53:47

mother things it's I had to

53:49

mother my mother when I was a kid whether this is

53:51

like who I am I'm not saying I'm this selfless amazing

53:54

person I think it came from a really like sick thing where

53:56

it's like when you grow up in alcoholic home You have to

53:58

be a parent very early on you have to parent yourself.

54:00

You have to parent your parents. I was

54:02

the person who was like, guys, we got

54:04

to go to school. Hey, we didn't pack

54:06

my lunch. All describes why you clean up

54:09

the water spill. Like in my own home.

54:11

There's nothing weird about cleaning your own

54:13

home. I've seen your house, your

54:16

order. I don't

54:18

know. 2020. Let's

54:21

talk about something important. Okay, let's say

54:23

you get injured by a person place or thing. You

54:26

deserve to get paid not talking about

54:28

emotional injury from your exes. I'm talking

54:30

about actual injury from stupid idiots who

54:32

don't know how to drive or comport themselves in

54:34

the world without making a goddamn mess. Life

54:36

could be crazy sometimes in one person's negligence

54:39

could result in another person's settlement. If you're

54:41

in an accident, not calling your lawyer means

54:43

you could be leaving serious money on the

54:45

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54:47

you're seriously hurt your injury, it could be

54:50

worth millions. Don't be a dumb idiot. If

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you just read that off The Gabi? On

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the topic had did you lie problems

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what, stage or and Shopify Start

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on fly. When you do any these

58:01

companies build lens cleaners. I came and see

58:03

through the clam chowder on my. Glasses.

58:08

Shopify. So

58:11

there's these like footie. Pajamas. You can't get

58:14

them on a baby. They don't. Go.

58:16

On a baby so I have you

58:18

ever try to put like the mattress

58:20

cover mattress it's like that but with

58:22

of. Thing. They could die at

58:24

any moment with no skull so not the

58:27

pajamas never fit over their fingers, the fingers

58:29

get caught, they're crying, screaming, or it's cold.

58:31

Like it's just like trying to get their

58:33

little ones is on. and they could have

58:35

these little legs that are just like I

58:37

don't know what's in their legs I don't

58:39

have. it's cartilage. it's definitely not bone, but

58:41

you're just like I'm in a break this

58:43

little thing and it is so hard to

58:45

get it on and then them. the the

58:47

more the heart of that's the worse it

58:49

gets into surgery. So sad the businesses can

58:51

suss out injured. Plus there's gonna. Be a

58:54

better way. there's so many I have a

58:56

the i have speeches for my shark tank

58:58

appearance of my like ones. The lines I

59:00

have solve every press this button and then

59:02

as buttons and then they have the fucking

59:04

audacity to public buttonholes on you know there

59:06

are great ones he pajamas that are does

59:08

magnets. That. You can just put him

59:10

on and there's no buttons or zippers are anything

59:12

and it's it's. like a little magnox. Also,

59:14

nobody tells you the third, they're born with bowl

59:17

legs. Fear of monkeys Like they have these bowl

59:19

legs. Am I wrong? Or is this is

59:21

my below? That is. I will never see the

59:23

baby before having one. I

59:27

had never seen a baby, I'd never

59:29

held a baby like I was is

59:31

all of this was a shock to

59:33

me when I saw his like bowling

59:35

balls of like was so bored with

59:37

ball with hypo that was like al

59:39

Lado saying like i thought that does

59:41

happen like way later either that happening

59:43

during puberty he misses the ball drop

59:45

as a big.balls at least thirteen. Society

59:49

nobody's were but I was the either

59:51

balls inside me for the success of

59:53

like a lot to process and so

59:55

anyway there's just like. So many

59:57

things that just are so frustrating.

1:00:00

And I didn't realize. How much I needed someone to tell

1:00:02

me like you're doing a good job. And. The baby

1:00:04

will never did. I know that sounds insane and

1:00:06

usually they will tell you your mom will tell

1:00:08

you, Plenty of people will tell you. But.

1:00:11

It is no may not. it is

1:00:13

as a non stop because it sort

1:00:15

of like like insist get a fanny

1:00:17

pack just. You're going to be wearing a very back for

1:00:19

truly the rest of your life. Because you're just like

1:00:21

I need the pacifier and you the Burkhardt like

1:00:24

Pat.news I got all these burke loss I thought

1:00:26

were like the ones and then Pat brought me

1:00:28

these were causing would have had already have some

1:00:30

we burp cloths ninety sophomores us the once he

1:00:33

got me it's don't receive any gifts from anyone

1:00:35

that don't have children over there guy. Guess

1:00:37

it's like there's er. Jo didn't

1:00:39

choke. One these that don't fit any

1:00:41

baby like know Spencer give baby saw

1:00:43

of that see the one thing Dave

1:00:46

has purchases are Boston Red Sox won

1:00:48

the and like gray your this see

1:00:50

assesses like chinese shot you know you

1:00:52

have lost all the clothes before they're

1:00:54

ever put on the baby with baby

1:00:57

detergent. oh well I do that anyways

1:00:59

for all my stuff so that's where

1:01:01

you the hygiene something Matthew is you

1:01:03

wash your clothes before you were the

1:01:05

viewed down a they've been in a

1:01:08

warehouse sleep. By. Your idol Rod

1:01:10

and I didn't I don't shop

1:01:12

is see an assessor a hey

1:01:14

no I didn't have a cat

1:01:16

nightclub of as from whatever weird

1:01:18

chinese surrender like again monsters such

1:01:20

silly to don't you wanna wash

1:01:22

thugs children's blood from their fingers

1:01:24

off your tube top? know Idaho's

1:01:26

wrestling. Keep up with you know

1:01:28

but that's like a big what

1:01:31

like no one told me how

1:01:33

hard it was but once you

1:01:35

that and you have to pull

1:01:37

it for five on a day.

1:01:39

To. Select get him what will split up on

1:01:41

them stops. You don't poop unemployed shit like

1:01:43

that and you're just like our. It took

1:01:46

me forty minutes to get this. Break.

1:01:48

In one's the over this baby's ankle. And.

1:01:51

Not have to do it again. I'm struggling is

1:01:53

not what you what why you're here today

1:01:55

and I would. I hope for the next

1:01:57

month you'll change. My baby alive. He has a

1:01:59

huge. The used to it and realize that there's so

1:02:01

much more resilient than you think. Okay and if they're

1:02:04

crying is not always because you're doing a bad job,

1:02:06

because the beginning when a line on their back they

1:02:08

think they're falling so you to they just like don't

1:02:10

have the you know like though inner ear, whatever. So

1:02:12

it's like you just have to let them try and

1:02:14

put something in their hands of they're holding on to

1:02:16

something that they think they're falling and you think they're

1:02:19

trying. To do second putting ones is on and they just like hey.

1:02:21

You. But they're just you just have

1:02:23

to like let it happen of as you know. Little

1:02:26

things like that. okay on his nothing

1:02:28

that web you prepped her home. Worry.

1:02:30

That maybe to com score for me. It's

1:02:33

not about like. Prepping for the baby. I think

1:02:35

it's more prompting for you once you have the baby.

1:02:37

This is another thing nobody told me. where's I don't

1:02:39

know how. You're going to have your baby

1:02:41

weathered susteren, sex and weather is natural. I

1:02:43

was tucked eyed peas ya know me as

1:02:45

most people will either tear or haven't appease

1:02:47

ya to me or have as it's the

1:02:50

first week. Not only do have

1:02:52

a new baby and all this of you

1:02:54

are recovering from a major surgery like I

1:02:56

know when time it as yeah that's a

1:02:58

concern Dillinger. Oh also you can't walk up

1:03:00

stairs know like slices of what are you

1:03:03

saying to hang out with yelling Nobody told

1:03:05

me any less. Like no one told me

1:03:07

that I. Wasn't able to walk on slightest I was

1:03:09

it will. I set up my whole bedroom with all the

1:03:11

south and I can't go. A scare hurts you know mean.

1:03:13

So it's like adding you just have to like. For the first

1:03:15

week no one told me that. I. Would

1:03:18

have bags of ice just already done in

1:03:20

your freezer. like zip lock bags of a

1:03:22

So you're Daves hinges. Bring your bags of

1:03:24

ice. you are going to be icing. What?

1:03:26

The vagina? Either way, have this or the

1:03:28

new man. Made crevice okay. her stomach built

1:03:30

after. Oh did. I mean yeah so C

1:03:33

sections are not a game. I love all

1:03:35

my girlfriends. it has these actions the deluxe

1:03:37

like you can see my scar and I'm

1:03:39

like Germany for ten. I can see that

1:03:41

I'm happy to lie to you there so

1:03:43

low though they're low. whatever But I'm just

1:03:46

saying they can't see average. Your is a

1:03:48

mail order surgery and I hate that someone

1:03:50

getting out of that is hard like doing

1:03:52

is set up is hard. Yeah this is

1:03:54

like I'm not real talk like. This

1:03:57

gives me a lot of anxiety and I think about

1:03:59

it. Really hard to not think about it

1:04:01

all the time that like I'm. Eight. Weeks

1:04:03

away from like a mystery massacre

1:04:06

cracked the I am scared of

1:04:08

and I have no idea what

1:04:10

it's gonna be like. You leave

1:04:12

the hospital. In.

1:04:14

A wheelchair. All that I like. Now

1:04:17

I'm guy that I'm not. I'm home.

1:04:19

The fifth of the spread is a

1:04:21

they put you in a wheelchair. That's

1:04:23

when you're like oh said, they won't

1:04:26

let you walk to the car to

1:04:28

your uterus will stall out of your

1:04:30

asshole. I'm. Okay

1:04:32

I guess the here

1:04:35

you lead. It's

1:04:38

not a game dared women used

1:04:40

to discuss. This is all. Assuming

1:04:42

you survive child isn't which is

1:04:44

the chances are very small that

1:04:46

you will even survive. This is

1:04:48

something a result of. I. Look.

1:04:51

Really prepared with having like the

1:04:53

baby shampoo and the baby dishwashing detergent

1:04:56

and the lip balms and that s

1:04:58

another. Open. At all first.

1:05:00

So like you're going to get all your stuff from

1:05:02

your registry and keep wanting to send you waves and

1:05:04

everything. It. Takes. Us saying

1:05:06

the sticker off the lives before you go

1:05:09

to the it like get some plastic said

1:05:11

off the shit before you leave you're not

1:05:13

gonna be able to come home. be taking

1:05:15

off plastic off of the bottle and then

1:05:17

opening the top and then taken off that

1:05:20

metal sasha in and putting about like there's

1:05:22

no time for that anymore. You have to

1:05:24

do it all. Had a time that me

1:05:26

some yeah say yes court like open the

1:05:29

diaper bag and put the diapers out. Nothing.

1:05:31

The. Point: I'd rather have a baby in

1:05:33

one hand and like a hemorrhaging and another

1:05:36

hand. And like taking plastic bottles. I

1:05:38

really expects all of these tasks to become easier

1:05:41

at when the the the is out of me

1:05:43

than when it's in the no no no no.

1:05:45

It. Gets worse as sir I tell this

1:05:48

is the easiest your life will ever be.

1:05:50

I said i have me is is the

1:05:52

best day of your life. Think I'm gonna

1:05:54

be a person that thrives on the babies

1:05:56

out but how? Because. I

1:05:59

don't. The world he has. There's not

1:06:01

really something in me that I don't have

1:06:03

room for. Who's.

1:06:06

Gonna Okay, so you're just. Okay,

1:06:10

I. Get you

1:06:13

to surrender and Atlanta. One guy

1:06:15

that ah ok so airport and

1:06:17

seven months pregnant it's all downhill

1:06:19

from here. Ssssss you heard it

1:06:21

here. Services don't fare as as

1:06:23

as as hard as it will

1:06:25

get. I will continue reading this

1:06:27

lives for everyone else I am

1:06:29

now. I'm sorry about the first

1:06:31

shit you take after you give

1:06:34

for I'm sorry about that of

1:06:36

first prove you take is worse

1:06:38

in childbirth. I

1:06:40

know has to be high s I

1:06:42

got great advice of taking lacks that

1:06:45

as adults the lox i think all

1:06:47

to your third trimester or I am

1:06:49

on a great regimen from your it

1:06:52

as he I do a supposed to

1:06:54

every morning the fleet's depository yeah are

1:06:56

a games engine literally like are my

1:06:59

pregnancy is a lot more comfortable because

1:07:01

of those know. Was. Bloated

1:07:03

and constipated. Twenty were seven and now

1:07:05

I go every day. It is a

1:07:08

real. It's a long. Like

1:07:10

What? Is it is a little closer

1:07:12

and tablet is like it in your time.

1:07:14

I don't understand how it works but it

1:07:16

does give your arm. Hostile Backpacked. Of.

1:07:19

Course not. I don't have a hostile

1:07:21

a bag are you laughing at his

1:07:23

and Nazi? I think. Don't bring too

1:07:25

much to the hospital like this is

1:07:27

the one place that you actually my

1:07:29

beyond the something is all you need

1:07:31

is a lip balm Your favorite Los

1:07:33

and ah ah have you made a

1:07:35

well. I would make a well. You.

1:07:39

Duty to make a well. I don't make

1:07:41

like us and uk just like hand right one in

1:07:43

your will journal or you can type one out and

1:07:45

put it out which is like the have in general.

1:07:49

People. Like told me that before it wasn't about

1:07:51

dying in childbirth. People were just like you're never have

1:07:53

time to think about shit like this again just now

1:07:55

as I was. So it's like you're just gonna go

1:07:57

like. Never

1:08:00

need at. Those. It. Inside

1:08:03

a similar happens my dad is gonna

1:08:05

have a great time in Vegas. I

1:08:08

did and I'm that's. My. What are

1:08:10

your plans? Government? It's all I just that are

1:08:12

just having. Here's a execute er my Well it's

1:08:14

just a step in doing an adult saying that

1:08:16

you don't want to have to do that you're

1:08:19

never gonna need. It's like getting insurance and like

1:08:21

doing all this annoying said the you never had

1:08:23

to do before kid and now you just have

1:08:25

to think that way because now your mom. It's.

1:08:28

Just an exercise in doing something.

1:08:30

Super adults, but. He.

1:08:33

Signed. Up

1:08:36

for meant! Ah. Bring

1:08:38

it to the hospital. Chargers

1:08:41

also another thing why you're

1:08:43

buying chargers. Put. Power.

1:08:46

Strips in every room in your house

1:08:48

and like a couple in the nursery.

1:08:50

The amounts of chinese garbage machines you

1:08:52

will have to plugin is soft and

1:08:54

yeah is so shocking. You're just gonna

1:08:56

need a lot of outlets so that

1:08:58

like to big power strips for the

1:09:00

nurseries Lead diaper warm or not diaper

1:09:02

warmer. Baby. Wipe warmer Christina Preserve

1:09:04

he told me about this. it is a

1:09:07

game changer bottle warmer, the number of things

1:09:09

you need a warm air or methods also

1:09:11

do this in the woods so you can

1:09:14

also ignore. All right you have. You did

1:09:16

say that to me once like early in

1:09:18

pregnancy or like sixteen year olds and crack

1:09:20

do that and was like that sounds like

1:09:23

the better way of would also like they're

1:09:25

on cracks was necessarily mean so I'm sure

1:09:27

a lot of said felt through the guy's

1:09:29

arm against Conservation Hospital bags. I did bring

1:09:32

Christmas lights, they can't be. The ones the

1:09:34

plugin to the hospital they have to be the

1:09:36

ones that are battery operated and batteries and had

1:09:38

a time and putting Christmas lights every worth. The

1:09:40

overhead lighting at the hospital was very. Annoying.

1:09:43

To me know your Christmas. Lights of Really Like

1:09:45

That's something that I want to do the wow

1:09:47

what I'm doing as you want to like sleeve

1:09:49

like you might have like three or four hours

1:09:51

asleep and shell and it's either like you're on

1:09:54

the surface of the sun, orb has walk and

1:09:56

that just makes it does in between near nice

1:09:58

twite. Like it says it's nice. Com

1:10:00

and give a Labour playlist. Now.

1:10:03

So. I need a sub asking just

1:10:06

like shaming you again family. So here's

1:10:08

an idea for a labour violence when

1:10:10

you make. Once I got a lot

1:10:12

of submissions from you guys on labor

1:10:14

playlists. Our ideas that I hadn't even

1:10:16

thought of I saw my playlist is

1:10:18

pretty guides on ah, Black Hole, Son

1:10:20

Laden crosses by lives. Her. Plus and

1:10:22

of also the for. Of

1:10:24

ness do you remember this jam know where

1:10:26

this just came up on trash to say

1:10:29

they they were talking about unlike you what

1:10:31

is this? This song is back at the

1:10:33

like. Guys, I don't know why, but

1:10:35

it's really back in a major

1:10:37

last Salt and pepper percent. Good.

1:10:40

Is. It Over Now by Taylor Swift's. My.

1:10:42

Neck my back, I pads

1:10:45

are ready or not by the

1:10:47

Fuji's and hurt by Oliver Trade.

1:10:49

And. My favorite! Torn By Natalie

1:10:51

Imbruglia. I do love that

1:10:54

song. It's print. I don't love what you're saying,

1:10:56

but I certainly was it again. After having a

1:10:58

newborn, what do you have you been prepared for

1:11:00

that? You.

1:11:02

Will get less funny I'm not. I'm not

1:11:04

a i know how does your life partners

1:11:07

at that have and I don't know and

1:11:09

like has were emotionally for sold or like

1:11:11

have a purpose in life All the sun

1:11:13

and series go up there and have no

1:11:16

have zero and just see what happens on

1:11:18

a side is for a living a bomb

1:11:20

Isis and of as a job my take

1:11:23

the audience is time and money seriously are

1:11:25

Now I'm not up there when yeah I

1:11:27

know a lot of your other get famous

1:11:29

just going out asking people where they're from

1:11:32

the south. Us make in the audience. Do

1:11:34

the work. Ah, make an audience. Be that

1:11:36

they pay to see you and you're like,

1:11:38

hey, when are you guys tackling I don't.

1:11:41

Know. Not

1:11:44

mean it's successor Thurston, I don't God.

1:11:46

Every. Night and try to figure out a way we're

1:11:48

the audience has to do the so. I. Think

1:11:50

they used to do that. I. Think

1:11:53

they use it as baby and they i would love to

1:11:55

watch you go up there and have no idea what you're

1:11:57

about to do and I think it would be offs and

1:11:59

any other field. But I get what years are

1:12:01

you allowed to sell to work and be like pass. The.

1:12:05

This. Is nonsense feals I think my

1:12:07

offensive worst fears I will say after

1:12:10

go to the comedy store this past

1:12:12

week a couple nights and not going

1:12:14

up. It's. Just a Honestly,

1:12:16

just as I do think I tried. Too hard.

1:12:18

I do think I worked too hard. I do

1:12:20

think I'd put way too much effort in as

1:12:22

every one their talent. As a bad thing

1:12:24

that that sort of adding the take

1:12:26

your job seriously everyone in the audience

1:12:28

is on drugs. ah that's affect the

1:12:30

as they used to be alcohol which

1:12:32

was like you would feel like ten

1:12:34

said and are some anger and people

1:12:36

would be like yeah like at least

1:12:38

like people were engaged in kind of

1:12:40

energize. There was like a red bull

1:12:42

and vodka phase where at least the

1:12:44

audience like how to posts. Now it's

1:12:46

just like a bunch of girls with

1:12:48

sather earrings like forgiving their ancestors on

1:12:50

in the car watching the show. It

1:12:52

is the energy. Is so uncomfortable at

1:12:55

this point? I don't. You're just

1:12:57

I don't know what's happening. Do.

1:12:59

You feel that with audiences, there's like a

1:13:02

delay in people laughing. Other

1:13:04

isn't an electric energy as as a

1:13:06

sleepy energy. I don't know if I

1:13:08

take up on that as much, but

1:13:11

I also am only. Lately.

1:13:13

During pregnancy going like Saturday main room

1:13:15

where it's not like that lets yeah

1:13:17

I know you're talking about unlike on

1:13:19

a Tuesday in the oh are that

1:13:21

is rare that I like. You

1:13:24

know, I'm. Not going to name

1:13:26

names but see a certain comic and I'm like that

1:13:28

deserved more. Like

1:13:31

that actually deserved more years. I myself

1:13:33

deserved a little. Less yeah no to

1:13:35

me. and I'm we are guys. This is

1:13:37

Adam Offs. Ah, maybe the whole nervous to

1:13:39

the another to get called on and filmed

1:13:41

and inherently surnames. I'll say he on

1:13:43

cellphones it's They're also scared that that

1:13:46

around my house, all and my blasted

1:13:48

out of my tic tacs. I'm okay.

1:13:50

Ah the first baby poop is locked

1:13:52

are. So good advice

1:13:54

that I got was as soon as your

1:13:57

baby is born player. I just brought grapes.

1:13:59

are also ever Everything needs to have a pump from

1:14:01

now on every lotion every shampoo pump

1:14:03

no unscrewing no cap pump

1:14:05

you use a lot of lotion

1:14:07

huh lot of oils and lotions yeah

1:14:09

I am famously

1:14:12

ashy I know you

1:14:15

are you are a try

1:14:18

why don't what you're not lubin up over there

1:14:20

not once because I'll tell you why I

1:14:23

my I my weight has

1:14:25

fluctuated so much over the years that

1:14:27

my stomach is still not even stretched

1:14:29

bigger than it's been recently like

1:14:33

I'm not I just checked into camera to be

1:14:35

like what I just looked at

1:14:37

the camera for help I'm still like it's fine

1:14:45

oh I know I just mean I put lotion on

1:14:47

all the time when I'm pregnant when I'm not pregnant

1:14:49

I know you do arms legs elbows I know you

1:14:51

do my mom advocates for this too it's

1:14:53

just I don't need that you okay so

1:14:55

you take a shower and you don't put

1:14:57

lotion on after no why are

1:15:00

you having the craziest reaction

1:15:02

to that what

1:15:04

you don't get like a new you

1:15:08

don't use lotion no I

1:15:10

mean let's I'm jerking someone

1:15:12

off no you use lotion

1:15:14

for that you

1:15:17

should use oil well

1:15:20

either work no they don't what if you gotta

1:15:22

put your mouth on there later and you put

1:15:24

a bunch of oil lotion

1:15:26

on it Jesus

1:15:28

Esther wait you don't put any lotion

1:15:30

on your body at all no

1:15:32

it's like this is so short

1:15:36

like this explains a lot this is

1:15:38

why you're uncomfortable need the comments to

1:15:40

sound off if there's any is everyone

1:15:42

out there lotioning I don't buy it

1:15:44

I just don't buy it but maybe

1:15:47

men don't okay but but is that

1:15:50

do you also not wash your jeans I

1:15:53

don't wear them enough yeah I was

1:15:55

gonna say yeah jeans lol I cannot

1:15:57

believe you don't use lotion no oil

1:16:00

You put lotion on your face. Like

1:16:02

occasionally. You

1:16:04

wash your face, dry it, and then

1:16:06

you're done. Oh you think I wash

1:16:08

my face? You don't

1:16:11

get... We're like

1:16:13

actually I'm realizing we're not compatible.

1:16:16

We are not fucking compatible.

1:16:19

Like at all. Like the real

1:16:21

me, you're not ready. We don't share

1:16:23

values. You're not ready for me. But

1:16:26

aren't you like a beauty influencer? No,

1:16:28

I had a skincare podcast and honestly like I...

1:16:32

It kind of just made me realize that it's all a scam. Can

1:16:34

I just hold on? The level

1:16:36

of arrogance. That

1:16:40

I'm honestly good for you. There's people that

1:16:42

know nothing about science that have like talk

1:16:44

about science on podcast. Like fine, but just

1:16:47

I'm glad that women have as much delusional

1:16:49

confidence as men these days. We tried a

1:16:51

lot of stuff. We did it, you know,

1:16:53

we learned a lot. And me and my

1:16:56

co-host Caroline Goldfarb, who you know. Yeah,

1:16:58

she makes the fish. She's in the GaNS. Fish

1:17:00

wife and she's a TV writer. She writes for

1:17:02

sex. I was a college girl. She's the funniest

1:17:04

person I've ever met. She's so amazing. This

1:17:10

is just going from bad to worse. But

1:17:15

I tried a lot and it honestly just

1:17:17

made me be like, I, this is all

1:17:19

fake. But you don't have to be like

1:17:21

raggedy in. I mean, you can like, I

1:17:23

look at skin, you know this as leather.

1:17:26

I know. As a horse girl. One of our

1:17:28

best episodes was you like breaking

1:17:30

it all down for everyone. Yeah.

1:17:33

It was basically, it's like you just treat it like leather.

1:17:35

So it's like, you don't put it out in the sun

1:17:37

after it's wet, you lubricate it. No, you famously, you wake

1:17:39

up in the middle of the night and just oil your

1:17:41

face. Correct. Well, okay. When

1:17:43

I go to the bathroom in the middle of the night, I

1:17:45

have a pump of grape seed oil right there and I just put

1:17:47

it, I reapply. And we've talked about this too. It's like at the

1:17:49

comedy store back in the- Why would you say we've talked to, no

1:17:51

one knows when we talked about it. Back in the early 2010. I

1:17:54

love it. You- It's common to

1:17:56

always do this by the way. I just love this. We'll be like,

1:17:58

and I've told this story before. Everyone's like- I think

1:18:00

this might have come up on one of our

1:18:02

podcasts together before but like that's why

1:18:04

I say it. People

1:18:08

made fun of you for having a wet

1:18:10

face for many years. It

1:18:12

was a greasy face. You

1:18:15

were kind of an original skincare girly.

1:18:19

No one really understood. You were before your

1:18:21

time. People would be like,

1:18:24

why is she wet? Why

1:18:27

is her face wet? Did people say

1:18:29

that? A little bit. Yeah.

1:18:32

But I was always like, I love that because I knew

1:18:34

it was. I

1:18:37

did not understand like powder back

1:18:40

then. Like I did not have a. No,

1:18:42

this is not a powder issue. You were oiled up.

1:18:44

No, I would put oil on and then I guess

1:18:46

a little concealer. Like I had

1:18:49

no idea how to put makeup on. I would oil

1:18:51

myself, put concealer only under my eye. And I didn't

1:18:53

think you were doing that because this was like late

1:18:55

night where it's like you were probably rolling out of

1:18:57

bed. Oh, it was just oil. Yeah, you were just

1:18:59

just put oil on. You were oil and just go

1:19:02

out and yeah. Yeah. So rewrite history

1:19:04

and act like you had concealer on. I've

1:19:06

also seen you like speaking of hygiene,

1:19:08

I see you do the most disgusting

1:19:11

things like I've ever seen anyone do

1:19:13

like literally dirty ass hands and

1:19:16

you're just like put a finger in

1:19:18

a concealer like like in the middle of

1:19:20

a disgusting situation. So

1:19:23

you are also a pig. I

1:19:26

think so gross like drug

1:19:29

addict level behaviors around makeup.

1:19:33

So you are so not

1:19:35

like not that

1:19:37

much better than I know that

1:19:39

trying is confusing to you. I

1:19:41

know it's just like a foreign

1:19:44

concept, but like because I have

1:19:46

washed my hands within the

1:19:48

last 48 hours, I can touch the makeup

1:19:50

and put it on my face. If I

1:19:52

were you, that would be gross because you

1:19:54

do not shower. But it

1:19:56

is what goes on with women and their

1:19:59

makeup is uncommon. I mean

1:20:01

like I when you just see a girl

1:20:03

like pull out just a blush brush from their

1:20:05

like loose purse Yeah, put it on their

1:20:07

face. It is Sickening.

1:20:09

Yeah, but when it comes to under eye makeup

1:20:12

it I am pathological with it But I use

1:20:14

one that's wax based so I can kind of

1:20:16

just like move it around Oh wait, what brand

1:20:18

we need a French brand called la

1:20:20

macchia's. It's actually Special

1:20:24

effects makeup That

1:20:28

a makeup artist used on me ages ago to make

1:20:30

like a burn And

1:20:33

I was like, oh this coverage is like amazing and

1:20:35

she's like, yeah, well, it's not like to wear

1:20:37

his makeup I was like that's

1:20:39

why cool. I mean my face I'm covered in

1:20:41

wax. That is cool though. I'm into that I

1:20:44

mean that's the next trend on tick tock. It's

1:20:46

like it. Yeah, it's like a it's like comes

1:20:48

in like a bar like a like

1:20:51

a It's not makeup

1:20:54

It's cock it's for grouting shower Like

1:21:01

my skin eats makeup like eats

1:21:03

it like my pores are big yeah, but

1:21:05

like it just disappears. Yeah

1:21:08

Okay, I feel like you're going into a like

1:21:11

a pregnancy whole energy hole I'm

1:21:14

I am say I am you're fading. That's the word

1:21:16

fading, but I'm so brain dead. I can't even think

1:21:18

of the word fading Okay, really quick.

1:21:20

Okay, this is something I just wanted it like In

1:21:23

the first I know we kind of set a version of this like

1:21:27

Also, don't panic. This didn't totally

1:21:29

happen to me. Sometimes this wave

1:21:31

will go over me if You

1:21:34

think really horrific things like I have

1:21:36

been having really wild intrusive thoughts and

1:21:38

I think they serve a biological purpose

1:21:40

Like if I'm walking down the stairs with

1:21:42

my baby, I will picture myself

1:21:45

falling and like a very

1:21:47

graphically horrific thing happening to my

1:21:49

child's like skull like Thank

1:21:52

you for sharing that I'm dead serious like

1:21:54

thank you for sharing that because That's

1:21:57

probably really that it's very vulnerable to share that

1:21:59

and I have had intrusive thoughts like that

1:22:01

before as well. And I hear it's worse

1:22:03

after pregnancy. So just I'm like, genuinely thank

1:22:05

you for saying that. Like, I don't think

1:22:08

you're like a murderer. I don't think you're

1:22:10

a psychopath. Like, I think it's your brain's

1:22:12

way of just like having a nightmare while

1:22:14

you're awake. Just like that doesn't prepare you

1:22:16

for like danger at all times. Like kind

1:22:18

of like I'll pick up my baby and

1:22:20

I'll just like picture his head hitting the

1:22:22

corner of the crib and it

1:22:25

shattered. It just gets very graphic. And like, you

1:22:27

just go like, whoa, why did I think that?

1:22:29

Like, I don't repeat it a ton, thankfully,

1:22:31

but I will, by the

1:22:35

way, it changes my behavior. Like I used to

1:22:37

wear these like slippers around my house. I'm like,

1:22:39

I'm gonna wear those slides with some tread on

1:22:41

them. Do you know what I mean? I now

1:22:43

wear these slides that are like have tread on

1:22:45

the box about those, but I was wearing like

1:22:47

slippers or being barefoot or walking around in socks

1:22:50

carrying a baby. And it was just

1:22:52

kind of like this, I'm gonna slip like when

1:22:54

I do you know, but like those so those

1:22:56

intrusive thoughts did change my behavior and probably reduce

1:22:58

some dumb unnecessary. Yeah, you know what I mean?

1:23:00

So they're okay, that's cool. There's like a reason

1:23:02

for that even though it's pink. So

1:23:05

it's like, don't beat yourself up. Like maybe this is

1:23:07

just nature's way of making sure you don't do something sloppy.

1:23:09

Yeah, it's like the days of just wearing

1:23:11

socks around your house, if you have a wooden floor

1:23:13

should just be over if you have a kid like I'll

1:23:15

put on sneakers just to like walk around the house now

1:23:18

because you're gonna be carrying a child. Right.

1:23:20

I'm saying but so it's like when I have

1:23:22

the carrier and I bend over, I'll like picture him doing a

1:23:24

backflip out of the carrier and just being like, Oh, he would

1:23:26

smash his face, I would get in the car, I would drive

1:23:28

to the house, like I would just and then I

1:23:30

go through like what I would do. Yeah, that sounds really

1:23:33

difficult. And also I would hate myself

1:23:35

for even thinking that so I'm glad that you're

1:23:37

like saying that I also think that the first

1:23:40

like, whatever I'm only almost two months

1:23:42

in I've heard this from other women to this

1:23:44

comes and goes but like, I

1:23:46

think everyone was like, you're gonna feel a love

1:23:49

that you've never felt those are all people that

1:23:51

have not felt the love of an audience

1:23:53

before. We felt love

1:23:57

and It is like there's

1:23:59

no. Or alive that a much a

1:24:01

drunk strangers and that I'm not into the comedy store

1:24:03

at midnight. Who are

1:24:05

on so many drugs? But there's times

1:24:08

where I've liked. It. Doesn't

1:24:10

really feel like that. It's just yeah.

1:24:12

Like Kim, we just survived this next

1:24:14

hour. He and I think I mean

1:24:16

I love you. But.

1:24:19

I'm not like you're not. And

1:24:21

is a very romantic in the beginning? That I

1:24:24

mean it's good to hear. Yeah, it's sort of

1:24:26

like. I work for you now

1:24:28

and if I don't come back and if

1:24:30

you don't think it's also think that's why

1:24:32

I'm like always like. You. Said

1:24:34

a lot of time wondering like what's

1:24:36

illegal has like you're. Like.

1:24:38

You always have a baby on the bad

1:24:41

and I'd still a turnaround. select change my

1:24:43

underwear or put on and I'm just like.

1:24:45

And put him in a bad between these two pillows

1:24:47

like I don't think he's going to suffocate. I'm see

1:24:49

like turn around and get some sleep him and turn

1:24:51

back around like. Just there's times

1:24:54

you have to make judgment Calls were yours

1:24:56

like this might be illegal but as have

1:24:58

to do this or a quick and you're

1:25:00

just like if he falls off as bad

1:25:02

and.like this is it. Like a warning lane.

1:25:04

I'm like. This. Is if you like

1:25:06

love this is feels like. A

1:25:09

very high stakes like Heists?

1:25:11

Yeah, I'm saying yeah. possible.

1:25:14

Like this. Might and in

1:25:16

the my baby to yeah like I'm You

1:25:18

know if it is, where is it? It

1:25:20

just feels very intense in a way that.

1:25:23

I was like everyone Thomas is gonna be

1:25:25

like laws re I hear that Allies is

1:25:27

what mob actually looks like. The fact that

1:25:29

you're just like all you care about as

1:25:31

a child, humphries and safety and you don't

1:25:33

give a shit about anything else. But it

1:25:35

wasn't like. Just like in

1:25:37

bad Doting on my child and he's just like

1:25:39

put his finger in my mouth and were dislike

1:25:41

the or a huge you have those moments you

1:25:44

can that's where you share like on tax to

1:25:46

be like oh my god I'm in the most.

1:25:48

To me that's like ten seconds out of yeah

1:25:50

yeah. So when I take a picture of As.

1:25:53

Sober. And I. This

1:25:55

is good to hear and I don't wanna

1:25:57

be thinking this is gonna be some. He

1:26:00

levine like either by the time you

1:26:02

get to that. Com moment you're so

1:26:04

tired and going like one twenty minutes we

1:26:07

just have to see the guns and the

1:26:09

someone a sickly a bottle and that I

1:26:11

cleaned the bottle well enough and home he.

1:26:13

Didn't say fans Now he's being.

1:26:15

Were. Noise I've never heard as he dies is advocating with

1:26:18

what's that like what is that A cold like why is

1:26:20

the oppressor and as I like why his nose run it

1:26:22

like you're just kind of like. And then

1:26:24

and then there's nails grow like two inches of

1:26:26

days so you're to and then they scratch their

1:26:28

own face and years like ah like dude my

1:26:31

baby scratched his own face. You know, good like

1:26:33

that their veils go very fast you have to

1:26:35

kind of like every couple days. and then it

1:26:37

was the first time I was taking him out.

1:26:40

like to just like everyone look like look at

1:26:42

me like I was abusing my be like he

1:26:44

had only scratches on the city is an average

1:26:46

of like i'm not that sandwich either that or

1:26:48

himself and know if we have to cut the

1:26:51

nails on what I know I have to cut

1:26:53

the nails. Like I'd miss the one. That

1:26:55

and then he'll rub his own i with

1:26:57

his hands. see if the like was his

1:27:00

hands is an eagle eye infection like it's

1:27:02

just like Latham all. Oh.

1:27:04

hey whoa this is oh this

1:27:06

is guy got says laughing all

1:27:08

day which is I'm so grateful

1:27:11

because whenever you call me for

1:27:13

like. A Most

1:27:15

and all and sunni I don't think

1:27:17

I say enough how helpful it is

1:27:20

to me to be able to talk

1:27:22

to another adults. And.

1:27:25

Talk. To you. Whoa. Yeah because

1:27:27

I think the dynamic. Is kind of like oh asses

1:27:29

in a calm and easy to give her advice but I

1:27:31

never tell you how much that means to me too. Low.

1:27:33

I also net I really

1:27:35

often think to myself like.

1:27:38

You. Could never understand how much you've done

1:27:40

for me. Like you and I never

1:27:42

want you to lead. I never want

1:27:44

you to really understand that we'd be

1:27:46

sick. I am. I have some little

1:27:48

bits of wisdom that has helped change

1:27:50

the course of my life and that

1:27:52

it's as adult. Conversations over

1:27:55

but I just know that is

1:27:57

so awesome. Nice to say I

1:27:59

don't believe. That you've taken one. His

1:28:01

rise of i've ever have a know

1:28:03

are consistent success. In just

1:28:05

Over Science as Isis and Al I just

1:28:07

feel like. we're glassman get thirty.

1:28:10

a little. Faster.

1:28:12

Quicker and more effectively. Sas Tuesday

1:28:14

also any of my cats with her

1:28:16

classmates. You now know that. I

1:28:19

the ones they are practising and why

1:28:21

the fuck did I come and go?

1:28:23

Yeah. To. How many episodes that

1:28:25

see the like ten or fifteen a

1:28:27

little limited run me to say like

1:28:29

trying something in it doesn't work and

1:28:31

then you move on with you will

1:28:33

watch say you were just like we've.

1:28:36

It. Was I got everything we need to say

1:28:38

ass and also the my first trimester And

1:28:40

it was. It was. Over. The wild

1:28:42

idea of yes I like the that, but it's

1:28:44

still out there. He asked the look

1:28:46

and see that we're gonna have a time. Nice.

1:28:48

Love. You. I had these awkwardly. You know that?

1:28:50

Good Good. Good. As is your

1:28:53

eyes and lauderdale and mean it.