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BONUS EP - WASTELAND (Part 2)

BONUS EP - WASTELAND (Part 2)

BonusReleased Monday, 17th June 2024
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BONUS EP - WASTELAND (Part 2)

BONUS EP - WASTELAND (Part 2)

BONUS EP - WASTELAND (Part 2)

BONUS EP - WASTELAND (Part 2)

BonusMonday, 17th June 2024
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Episode Transcript

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0:30

If you haven't been to one of these before,

0:33

they usually get a little wild. And

0:35

this is David. Hi! This is

0:37

our editor, producer

0:39

extraordinaire. I just kind of stumbled into

0:41

this room and I'm just gonna hang out. Time.

0:46

The passing of time. Warring

0:49

tribes of long ago, forgotten

0:51

through the years. Balming

0:53

out every speck of the entire

0:56

planet. Leaving no trace

0:58

of visible life. Ghazalene

1:00

is a rarity, highly

1:03

sought after. It fuels

1:05

the rising new civilization. So

1:09

I'm playing Jimmy

1:12

Wamprat-Ritmo. I am

1:14

playing a human

1:17

named Squelch-Enema. I

1:20

am Rourke the Sausage. I'm

1:22

playing Chuck Wagon. So I'm playing

1:24

the Lady Celine. You

1:27

can feel your skins sinking in.

1:30

You can feel wrinkles coming as your

1:32

life force is draining out of you.

1:34

Not my beautiful face. I kill myself. I

1:36

would rather die than become old and ugly.

1:40

Not worth it. And

1:42

you see liquid pouring into

1:44

these five different vials. You

1:47

surmise it's probably each of

1:49

your essences being taken away.

1:51

On his leather straps, he's got hue,

1:53

mungas, written across one of the straps.

1:57

And you see he picks up all of the vials

1:59

off that table. cable and

2:01

throws them into a bag that he's

2:03

carrying. Be careful. Bro, that's

2:05

my vibe. That's my mojo. I gotta

2:07

get my mojo back. And

2:09

then he walks away. Alright, you know

2:12

for a fact that you gotta get this stuff back.

2:14

You guys gotta get this, you gotta get those vials,

2:16

you gotta get those stuff injected or drank or

2:19

butt chugged. Get them back as

2:21

quick as you can because you guys, it's

2:23

gonna kill you. You guys gotta shove these

2:25

up my ass. They sucked too hard. And

2:27

you can see down below a vehicle you

2:29

hear a curse driving off into

2:32

the distance, heading away. Everyone,

2:34

this is the scene we have. The

2:37

car is tearing across the desert in a

2:39

chase heading after them. We have

2:41

squelch in the lead with the hearse. We

2:44

have the cyber truck, I think that's being

2:46

driven by Chuck. And

2:48

then the third car was the

2:51

convertible and that is being driven by Roar.

2:55

You turn and look and there's been

2:57

worm signs and Jimmy is riding a

2:59

worm. It's weird that the exhaust where

3:01

the flame comes out is inside the cabin of the

3:03

hearse. But here we are.

3:05

Like a walled scrap metal going all the

3:07

way around this fortress. And then you see

3:09

a bunch of like cylindrical towers inside the

3:12

fortress and the name of the fortress is

3:14

the phallic fortress. And I want to

3:16

try to like get you guys to pull over. Okay, well

3:18

I guess. Behind that doom. What

3:20

does your paradise look like? I bet it looks a lot like your hell. Absurd

3:22

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3:24

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3:27

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3:38

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3:41

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3:43

something incredible here. My father. My father

3:46

and the awful thing he meant. He

3:48

meant it. It was amazing. The whole

3:51

thing's better face than. I haven't seen

3:53

whatever is watching me. I swear I sense

3:55

it. And it's not a data miner or

3:57

a pattern hunter either. It's watching me. No

3:59

matter what. how far I run, I

4:01

will see it again. It's everywhere.

4:04

I know you're trying to run away from me. I

4:10

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4:12

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4:14

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4:16

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4:20

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4:26

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4:39

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4:46

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4:50

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6:25

I've heard bad places about this. It's the

6:27

phallic pup palace. You never

6:29

want to go there, but if

6:31

we go there with a plan, I

6:34

think we'll be okay. I think we gotta go

6:36

to classic Chewbacca. We gotta chain

6:39

up some of us to be like, hey

6:42

weirdos, if

6:45

you two gals chain up these hot meat

6:48

boys here. Yeah, I was gonna say, I think

6:50

it definitely makes sense for me to not be chained

6:52

up. I could be chained up as

6:55

a pretend.

6:57

Well, it's a phallic place, so I

7:00

kind of, you know, you

7:02

know, you guys could pretend that you

7:04

found us and you beat us up

7:06

and now you're gonna sell us to these rascals.

7:09

And that's what happens at this place?

7:12

Is that appropriate? You're my dad. Well,

7:14

what do you think that, I know they're pumping

7:16

in there, but what do you think they're pumping?

7:18

It might be iron. Could it be iron? Because

7:20

if it's iron, I'm very interested. It could be

7:22

iron. It could be iron. Okay.

7:26

Well, I'm assuming they're pumping the

7:28

essence there. That's where they're at.

7:30

I think it's gotta be iron, because I've

7:32

never heard the term pumping essence. Two 50-50

7:34

shots. It's

7:37

soul pumps. Okay,

7:39

well you're the bit, you're you're the most

7:41

pumped out of all of us. Jimmy is

7:43

doing, Jimmy is doing push-up. I volunteer

7:46

as a slave, that's for sure. A Chewbacca,

7:50

sorry. Yeah, get it right. I

7:53

cannot possibly have my father as

7:55

a slave. Chewbacca. So I would

7:57

like to be whatever is not

8:00

associated with him. A

8:03

Han Solo. You can hold the... yeah, it's

8:06

like... You can have... I mean, if it

8:08

makes you more comfortable, you can hold the

8:10

leash for these other guys. Wait. Okay, no,

8:12

that's fine. Yeah, yeah, that's fine. You're Princess

8:15

Leia at this point, because... I

8:17

just don't want to hold my father's leash, if

8:20

that makes sense. That's fair. No, I... I'll get

8:22

that on all fours and just start barking. I...

8:25

I... I'll get your leash. Thanks... thanks,

8:27

girl. Thanks, girl. I

8:30

didn't mean that in the meme way that we say it

8:32

here. I was like, that's my girl. Like, just... oh,

8:34

okay. I think you're saying like... Alright, let's

8:36

just move on before things are weird.

8:38

Okay, alright, so... So some of you

8:40

are... are leashed and some are not.

8:42

Yes, yes, yes. We mess up the

8:44

old, uh, slave thing, and it's quite...

8:46

it's quite sensual. I

8:49

think that's why I was wearing

8:51

certain, um, you know, communities.

8:54

Well, I mean, in the fucking Mad... New Mad

8:57

Max movie, there's the... the bulletman who has his

8:59

nipples out, and he's rubbing them. What? He's rubbing

9:01

those nipples. Listen, you gotta get your thrills. I

9:03

do not remember that part. You don't remember? That

9:05

part whipped. You gotta get your thrills where you

9:08

can. Okay, to be fair... Yeah,

9:10

I only watch Mad Max whenever it came out. I feel

9:12

like I should rewatch it. That's bait. So,

9:15

uh, you're... you all approach the, uh,

9:18

front of this... this fortress location as

9:20

you... Uncuff me! Don't pump me! What?

9:23

I'm not listening. I'm not listening to

9:25

my father. Silence! You all

9:27

make it up to the front, and you can see

9:29

this... There's guards standing up on some sort of walkways

9:31

over the top. You can see some with, like, classic

9:34

bow and arrows. You see some that, uh... There's,

9:36

like, a flamethrower person up there. Hell yeah. Off

9:39

to one side. There's, like, looks like, uh, you

9:41

know, some sort of gun over to another side.

9:43

And then there's a... A spear made out of

9:45

rebar. Yes. And then you see

9:47

a couple of... of folks standing in front

9:50

of the doorway. And the doorway to this

9:52

fortress, you can tell, is just a... a school

9:54

bus that's just parked in front of it, and

9:57

it's just got plate armor there, and they just would drive it

9:59

out of the way. way back to the side so

10:01

you can get in and out. So you see a

10:03

couple of guards, they poke their

10:05

heads out to the some of the windows

10:07

of the school bus where their armor is

10:09

not there and they yell out to you

10:11

all, hey strangers why are you approaching? We

10:14

as you can see here we have

10:16

some potential people

10:19

who would be interested in for

10:21

the purposes of this place. Don't

10:24

pump me. I love to pump. You're

10:26

gonna get pumped. You're gonna get

10:28

pumped. Yeah we brought them here

10:30

to get pumped. That's why. I

10:32

heard that this was a place

10:34

to get pumped. Is that correct? Well I

10:37

mean yeah we do we there's a lot

10:39

of yes yes this is a place where

10:41

that does occur. Now where

10:43

can I is there a place I can

10:45

park my huge sandworm and

10:48

this place that we we pump it's

10:51

it's big. Yeah okay well

10:53

this pickup line has worked

10:55

for me before I will

10:57

say that. We'll

11:00

get to that we'll get to the sandworm which

11:03

I'm very intrigued about but first things first Miss

11:06

tattooed lady can you can you uh

11:08

go that would be the lady yeah

11:10

oh lady Celine okay can you give

11:12

me uh you know give me a

11:14

persuasion or maybe deceive me if you

11:16

could. Absolutely or like what can

11:18

I do an intimidation in that like my

11:20

vibes are so like I know what's going

11:23

on and I have like a mission. Hell

11:25

yeah you can intimidate me. That

11:27

was a fourteen something. Actually

11:30

I think I think you all should move on

11:32

because if you don't uh my buddy up here

11:34

is gonna torch you with this

11:36

flamethrower and then we got

11:38

an arrow here and then I got a gun

11:40

over on this side so. Oh yeah boom boom

11:43

Mr. Roop no problem no worries. Okay move

11:45

along get out of here. Move

11:47

along scoop. Right like you're so

11:50

good. Like not to the gate.

11:52

I don't want to get pumped. No no you can't come in.

11:54

Oh. I was really

11:56

looking forward to get pumped. Why not? You

11:59

better let us in. This is equivalent

12:01

to a door being locked in

12:03

a campaign. The guy said, nah, I'm good.

12:07

So gang, Celine failed her role. What

12:09

do we do now? Can I

12:11

stealth through this door? Yeah,

12:13

the blazing fucking sun with 30 guys.

12:15

There we go. That's good. Yeah,

12:18

but I got really good stealth, so you tell me how it works.

12:20

That's true. I mean, we can

12:22

be like making a, kicking up a fuss while you

12:24

do this, you know? Ooh, that's a great point. Okay,

12:26

okay. If you want to like whisper to

12:29

the boys. Okay, you start arguing. You start

12:31

arguing. Yeah. Yeah, I'm

12:33

like, I don't think that

12:35

my mistress would be happy

12:37

to hear that you denied

12:40

me access. This is

12:42

on official OT business. I'm

12:45

never getting pumped. And then I push Celine to the

12:47

ground, or I try to. And then I try to

12:49

like run away, but I know I

12:51

have to sell it. So I like run around kind of

12:53

in a circle. And I kick up a lot of sand.

12:56

I'm like a horse or a jet ski in

12:59

the water, but instead of water, it's sand. Or

13:01

like a hamster having a little dirt bag. Or

13:03

chinchilla. Or, I think chinchilla is what I meant.

13:05

What I've held squelch to do with that. 23

13:07

to stealth. All right, 23 to stealth. All right,

13:10

they are so focused telling these morons, just go,

13:12

leave. You're about to get killed here. Stop. You're

13:15

annoying. You're able to stealth away.

13:18

And give me

13:20

a perception check. Natural 20. Geez, squelch

13:23

to natural 20. You are, when you're stealthing away,

13:25

you kind of get yourself out of their view

13:27

next to the bus. And

13:30

you can tell there's a loose plate of

13:32

armor there below. So you can actually

13:34

slither in underneath the bus, underneath

13:37

the underside if you'd like to. Yeah, no, I'd

13:39

like to. All right. Yep. You're able to get

13:41

under the bus and you don't see any other

13:44

footprints or foot feet around out the other side

13:46

of the bus. Sounds

13:48

like everyone's doing stuff away. Who

13:50

knows what? There's people above you.

13:52

Chaos, chaos, chaos. Yeah, yeah, they're

13:54

fighting. If you wanted to get yourself

13:56

up inside the bus, you probably could do that without being seen either.

13:58

Yeah. Yeah, well you could

14:01

there was a guy there was one of the

14:03

like people on overwatch above this thing right that

14:05

we had to Worry about correct. Yeah. Yeah, there's

14:07

there's two guys There's two people inside the bus

14:09

talking out the window the side windows to these

14:12

folks Uh-huh, and then you did see some folks

14:14

up above on the tops of the walls that

14:16

are all kind of paying attention We're gonna fucking die.

14:19

We're gonna die Yeah, I want to go up to the guy

14:21

that one of the guys that he gestured to like up on

14:23

top of the walls All right, cool.

14:25

I'll let you choose with that great stealth

14:27

role You've got flamethrower

14:30

you've got a gun of some kind

14:32

machine gun and then you've got bow

14:34

and arrow Probably

14:37

Does the flamethrower guy have a tank on him?

14:39

Oh, it's there's a tank there

14:41

beside him. This is all turret turret mounted stuff

14:45

Shit, okay, but like there is a tank. Yeah, I

14:47

don't care if it's on him. Okay, I go for

14:49

the machine gun Okay, cool.

14:51

Okay, go ahead and give me a a Athletics

14:55

or acrobatics if you're gonna

14:57

do something tricky big red barrel of

14:59

ammo. Ooh Acrobatics

15:02

is plus six. So 23 again. All

15:04

right. Yeah. Yeah, you have no problem

15:06

scampering up to the wall You're behind

15:08

this this machine gun

15:11

person Kelly we cut to the outside

15:14

You guys are arguing anything you kind

15:17

of see. Mm-hmm squelch pop up behind this

15:19

person Is there anything

15:21

anyone wants to do? Before

15:23

something occurs. Can I do a perception check

15:25

to see which of the people on the

15:27

wall or be like, all right Enough

15:30

of this horse play. Yeah, give me that

15:32

it's roughly I'm gonna say around 1414

15:38

okay with that you there's enough to see

15:40

it looks like the one with the flamethrower

15:43

is Getting ready

15:45

to use it, but I can

15:47

see that well, I can see this quilches there.

15:49

Yes, so I guess

15:52

Regardless, I want to I'm

15:55

gonna punch Celine Sorry,

16:01

just to clarify, there's people up on the top of

16:03

the wall as well. Yeah, yes. There

16:05

are three people up on top of the wall and there

16:07

are two people inside this bus talking to you so a

16:09

total of five. Well four people now. Yeah. How

16:12

close are people on top of the wall to each

16:14

other? We have two that are close to each other

16:17

on the side. Do not fireball the people on top

16:19

of the wall. I'm up there. Every hair versus every

16:21

nail. Not all of them are. I'm not. I'm

16:25

actually trying to cast darkness on them so they can't see anything.

16:27

So on the left, from your

16:29

perspective, Lady Celine, on the

16:31

left-hand side, you see two people.

16:34

There's a flamethrower person and the

16:36

bow and arrow person. On the

16:38

right-hand side, we see the machine

16:40

gun person and

16:43

squelch. Okay. So

16:45

the people on the left are like fairly

16:47

close within 15 feet of each other? Yes.

16:50

Okay. Yeah, I would like to cast

16:53

whatever, whenever you're about to do what you're going to do,

16:55

I can also cast your hair at the same time. As

16:57

my face is flowing to your face to make it, I'm

16:59

making a distraction. Yeah. Yeah. Right.

17:02

Right. So

17:05

you're like speaking spooky do in Latin darkness and then

17:07

like whoop a fall. Yeah. Yeah.

17:10

I'm like, my hands are like out and I'm like staring

17:12

up at the sky. And David, I work stiff. I'll

17:14

tell you, it's going to hurt, but not too bad.

17:17

I don't like this. All right. I

17:19

love it. I would like to cast darkness on

17:21

those two, those two guys. So you

17:23

do successfully cast darkness on those

17:25

two guys. So what does

17:27

that look like? That's my ring finger on my left hand. Hell yeah. Every

17:30

one of my fingers has a different spell. Oh, that's fun. I've

17:32

decided. Fing, fang, fum. Yeah. Nice.

17:36

Okay. Excellent. Okay, let's go ahead and jump

17:38

into initiative time now because they know something's

17:41

up. Oh shit. Well, what's up?

17:43

We're just like little guys. Oh, God damn it. What

17:45

am I, Jennifer? I rolled a one. I rolled good

17:47

this time. Oh, I guess like three.

17:49

My initiative is a 22 or 21. Wow. Yeah,

17:52

I rolled really good that time. That

17:56

is pretty good. I changed my dice. I went to

17:58

a different dice and it's treating me better. Now my

18:00

dice that you touched is bad. Yeah, I did cursor dice.

18:02

Sorry about that. The

18:04

23 is pretty good. I got a 26. God

18:07

damn, he hates you. I

18:10

like for my comrades to succeed. I

18:13

rolled a natural 20? Shut

18:15

the f- What the hell? I hate you

18:17

guys. And I got a 23. Four.

18:21

I also rolled a natural one.

18:23

Oh my god. Well, the highs

18:26

and lows of our rolls. I rolled a

18:28

natural 20. Stop

18:30

guys. You got a one.

18:32

Stop bragging. Anchors, anchors,

18:34

anchors. In this order

18:36

we've got Squelch. You are up first, which

18:39

is perfect. So I take it this

18:41

guy's already got his hand on the gun? Yeah,

18:43

he's casually. Nothing, he's not reacting yet. He

18:45

doesn't have his finger on the trigger or

18:47

anything. Okay, I want to stab him. Okay.

18:51

And they don't see you, you got advantage. That's

18:54

a good thing. So

18:56

20 to hit? Yeah, that's a

18:59

hit. Let's see.

19:01

Ooh, nice, nice. There's that.

19:04

So it's gonna be 18 damage. That

19:07

is a pretty darn heavy hit. And let

19:09

me describe this person just for everyone. This

19:11

person that you are attacking, you see a

19:13

name tag on the back because I gotta

19:15

use the names. This one here,

19:18

the name tag says, Tickles the Tomboy.

19:20

What are these names from? From

19:22

his mother. Exactly,

19:24

from their mother, yeah. Tickles the Tomboy.

19:27

A rifle flying across their back and

19:29

they're of course handling the big

19:31

machine gun. You just stab right

19:34

into Tickles. Tickles still standing,

19:36

but that was quite a heavy hit. So

19:39

well done. Okay, well I got a

19:41

second attack though. Then do it. 18

19:44

to hit? Yeah, that's a hit. Another 7 damage?

19:46

Yeah, okay. Describe

19:49

what it looks like killing Tickles the Tomboy.

19:52

I've got these things that are

19:54

attached to both of my hands.

19:56

They're like metal gauntlets with a

19:58

tube that's right above the fist.

20:00

Okay, and when I put my

20:02

hands into somebody's back I'm

20:05

pulling a trigger inside the gauntlet and

20:07

it's like it's not really a range thing

20:09

But it just like pneumatically just injects a

20:11

piece a syringe into their bodies How many

20:13

pneumatic tubes are there's at one for fingi

20:15

or one for hand? I well, it's multiple.

20:17

I'm only firing one at a time, but

20:19

okay so that I don't have to constantly

20:21

reload So what they get injected do they

20:23

just collapse? Yeah, I

20:25

mean I think it's it's mostly it's

20:28

it's more like it's more like the junk the

20:30

junk cannon or whatever the fall I think it's

20:32

not that these are like poisoning or anything. Yeah,

20:34

but it's just Syringes are what

20:37

I had an abundance up. So they're just

20:39

ripping through. Okay. Nice. All right, cool. That's

20:41

it for It's not

20:43

it. That's not it for squelch. I got

20:45

an axe and surge continue squelch Also the

20:47

way you're like casually just I had a

20:49

fuck ton of syringes. Yeah, I mean where

20:51

I Love it. It's

20:53

glorious. I got an action surge. You know,

20:56

I got an action surge Holy

20:58

and we can take a long rest

21:00

after this I get that back, right? Yeah Yeah,

21:02

so I would like to grab onto this machine

21:04

gun. Yes, and it's it's

21:07

so there's like Darkness

21:09

was cast on the other people on the wall. Yeah

21:11

Yes you see the other people in the walls just

21:13

between you and then you see the top of a

21:15

school bus and then Across the

21:17

school bus the other side of the other wall

21:19

and that's where you see darkness Because

21:22

this is it now it's gonna be because it's darkness It's

21:24

gonna be a lot harder to hit this fuel tank But

21:26

that's what I would like to go towards a possible that

21:28

I just do a sweeping motion with

21:30

this Gatling gun. Oh, yeah Yeah, absolutely. Yeah.

21:32

Yeah. I mean just get really close to

21:34

the fuel tank as you shoot it so

21:36

you can see it It's

21:39

like an explode, but this is a turret.

21:41

It's a mounted turret. How do I get close to it? You've

21:44

seen halo. Ah Yeah

21:48

So yeah, I do that try and hit the fuel tank

21:50

half speed Alright, so you just sweep

21:52

across blasting away. Alright, just go ahead and give me a

21:54

straight-up attack. Just a range attack. Okay 16

21:58

plus 7 23. Alright, yeah,

22:01

it's definitely successful. You

22:03

sweep across and it's hard to

22:05

describe being in this magical post-apocalyptic

22:08

radioactive darkness. You

22:11

hear it before you actually see it,

22:13

but you hear a loud kaboom and

22:16

nothing is there, but then outside of the edges

22:18

of the edge of the darkness you see edges

22:20

of flame coming out. So just kind of like

22:23

the whole middle of that explosion is missing. It's

22:25

kind of weird and you hear something like ow!

22:28

Hahaha! For that

22:30

I want to have you roll damage and let's

22:32

just base this off of Celine. How many

22:34

dice do you roll for your third level

22:36

fireball? Right third level fireball. That is 8d6.

22:41

Can you give us an 8d6 roll there? Absolutely.

22:43

No, let's have Squelch do it so he can

22:45

get the satisfaction of the explosion. We

22:48

always just Google it, but yeah, you could just

22:51

Google it. 86. But to give

22:53

him the joy. Mm-hmm. In

22:55

order to keep my hands occupied I'm practicing

22:58

shuffling my commander decks and

23:01

my new deck, which is a Fallout one by

23:03

the way. I'm holding nothing. I've drawn straight

23:05

ass every single thing. Oh really? 22

23:09

damage. Alright 22 damage. Okay. Well, I can

23:11

I can share with you that they both

23:13

took full damage on that. Well done. You

23:16

hear from inside there, what the hell? Well,

23:21

before I move on I'm so sorry I

23:23

almost said let's move on but Squelch anything

23:25

else? No, no, that's it. All right,

23:27

cool. Then next up is

23:30

Jimmy. You're up. So

23:32

you got like these two guys faces

23:34

in the windows in front of you at the bus.

23:37

Mm-hmm. This shit happening up on top of the walls

23:39

and you know,

23:41

you did see where where

23:43

you know the loose metal was where you saw

23:45

Squelch go slithering through earlier. That's what you got

23:48

in front of you. Okay, and I

23:51

probably can't get in through the windows

23:53

right there like up above they're like

23:55

cub off the ground. Not with that attitude.

23:59

You could probably do that. Do it with a bit

24:01

of a, if you did like an athletics check to

24:03

kind of jump up to it because you know

24:05

with your skills you could definitely jump up high

24:07

enough to get a grip on it but you're going

24:09

to be going straight through people. I would like to

24:11

give them a Bardic inspiration

24:14

please and thank you. Alright.

24:16

Yeah then Jimmy is just going to try to

24:19

launch himself through the bus window

24:21

with an athletics check. Go

24:24

for it. Like a freaking cannonball. And

24:26

you can add a G8 if you need it. You're

24:29

going to need it. 14,

24:32

I'll add the D8. You

24:38

just go jumping like into a

24:40

cannonball or whatever. You're high

24:42

enough and you just kind of plow into

24:44

the person who's there

24:46

and he gets pushed back five feet and suddenly

24:48

you are inside the bus and you've got this

24:51

surprise guy right in front of you and a

24:53

guy to your right inside this

24:55

bus. None of the chairs are there. It's

24:57

all just wide open garbage. It's

24:59

torn up chairs and all. So

25:01

that is where you're at. Your movement is done. What

25:04

would you like to do? Don't forget you get two attacks. Yeah

25:07

I'm going to swing my freaking

25:09

sword at one of the guys. Alright

25:12

standing in front of you is Thrasher.

25:14

Alright Thrasher. Do this. This

25:18

guy has got a very interesting weapon. He's got

25:20

a skateboard on a fixed to a pole and

25:23

it looks a bit like an axe. I like

25:25

that. Okay. 17

25:29

is definitely enough to hit that guy. Alright

25:31

that's going to be 12 damage. Alright.

25:33

And then I'm going to hit him again.

25:36

Okay. It's a

25:38

vision skateboard for those from the 80s. Oh

25:42

sick. What? Uh 16 this time. 16 is

25:44

a hit. Good

25:46

job Michael. I'm proud of you. And that is 11 damage. 11

25:48

damage. Wow. Looking

25:50

good. Thrasher's getting thrashed. Slash em

25:53

up. And uh. You're going to get

25:55

a new one. Yeah. We'll see you

25:57

next time. Bye. I'm

26:00

just screaming like ahhhhh!

26:05

You're screaming so loud you've been muted. Okay,

26:09

that takes care of Jimmy. Well,

26:11

I don't want to presume anything. Is

26:14

that it? You

26:16

know what, I'm going to hold on

26:18

to my action surge, so I'm good

26:20

for now. Yeah. Are you just a

26:22

straight up fighter? Yeah. Okay,

26:26

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30:01

Lady Celine, you are up. So

30:04

I put darkness on the two

30:07

guys up on the wall. What's going on with

30:09

them right now? Are they just like, what? Yeah,

30:12

you can hear screaming in there and like

30:14

ouchy because they got burned. But

30:18

you didn't see any bodies fall out of there. So

30:20

because the question is, so I need concentration

30:22

to keep up the darkness on them. So

30:24

I don't know if that's better to keep

30:26

them like kind of confused and out of

30:28

the situation or do something. And when

30:30

you cast it, the darkness, just for

30:32

clarification, did you cast it on anything?

30:35

Like where is it actually cast upon?

30:37

Yeah. So I guess how close are they to each

30:39

other? They were like within like 10 feet from

30:41

each other side by side. Okay.

30:44

So let's say that I cast it specifically

30:46

on what were there two weapons against? There

30:48

was a bow and arrow and then from

30:50

your perspective on that side of the wall. Yeah.

30:53

The one on the right had the bow and arrow. The one on the

30:55

left had the flamethrower, which is not functional.

30:58

Let's say that I actually cast

31:00

the darkness on the one holding

31:02

the flamethrower because that one feels more

31:05

dangerous. Sweet. Okay. So

31:07

it's actually on them. Beautiful. Yeah. It's

31:10

actually on that guy. And the bow and

31:12

arrow guy is just there. Yeah. Being

31:15

absorbed by it because like I could have

31:17

cast it on like a, you know, a

31:20

parapet. But I

31:22

want the flamethrower guy to be taken

31:25

out. Yeah. That makes sense.

31:27

So I'll keep that. I guess there's not really

31:29

anything I can... Maybe I just try

31:31

to like sneak forward at this point and keep it

31:33

on that. Yeah. And

31:35

the chaos and the dirt that has been picked

31:37

up. Yeah. The sand. I

31:40

would like to move forward closer to the bus. Okay. You

31:42

can get right up next to the bus. And I imagine with

31:44

your concentration, you're going to have to keep eye contact with it.

31:46

Yeah. Yeah. So

31:48

I'm like scooting and staring at them to keep them. Yeah.

31:51

And it's like, because I figured like once we get through the bus zone, then

31:53

we can take the darkness off.

31:56

And well, more like I was

31:59

thinking like she's like... Bolded someone

32:01

or another fireball or something like that.

32:03

Yeah Yeah,

32:05

okay. And now we're gonna go ahead thrasher

32:07

takes a swing at Jimmy with

32:09

his axe Skateboard we

32:12

have a 15 versus AC that is

32:14

not gonna that is a bash

32:17

away with my shield. No, thanks Oh,

32:19

yeah. All right He swings at you

32:21

and he's got a spiked gauntlet hand So

32:23

he let let's go the of

32:25

the weapon with one hand one hand and swings

32:27

at you with this spike gauntlet hand Gosh,

32:31

I rolled a six the first time I rolled a

32:33

one Second time so he

32:35

is not he is not doing well.

32:37

He's staying put though. That is thrasher

32:39

All right. Next up next to thrasher

32:42

is war vet. Oh, yeah and war

32:44

vet. He's uh, interesting He's got a

32:46

hockey stick and then he's got like

32:48

a bandolier of like these PVC pipe

32:50

with wicks on them as well Oh

32:52

around the shit So first thing he

32:55

does he sends you standing next to

32:57

next to you He is going to

32:59

just swing his hockey stick, which is

33:01

a bit jagged and broken and it looks pointy as

33:03

well So let's see if he can do anything She

33:07

went maybe we got ourselves an attack of 19

33:10

versus your AC So close

33:13

but not quite good enough. Are you

33:15

kidding? Oh, that's right.

33:17

You'd have armor before. Okay. I

33:19

got I'm full of armor More armored

33:22

Damn awesome. I'm feeling good about this one. We got

33:25

a 25 versus AC. Nope. Yeah,

33:27

that's gonna hit. Okay All right, you're going

33:29

to take a total of 10 damage slashing

33:31

like this this hockey stick checks you

33:33

Thank you for telling me the type.

33:37

I know it's very important. Fuckman hates it. All right,

33:39

cool That takes care of our war vets turn. All

33:42

right, next up we had a

33:44

fuck boy Let me or

33:48

Running down the wall, you know

33:50

from behind where screech squelch

33:53

behind Coming

33:56

your direction leather

33:58

clad his name is Fuckboy

34:00

Fred. He comes running and he's

34:02

got an iron on a chain and this is yes

34:04

This is a clothing iron and it's on a chain

34:07

on a pole But then he's also got a bow

34:09

so he comes to a stop about 20 feet away

34:11

from Squelch and

34:13

takes aim with this bow and fires

34:15

this bow at squelch. We

34:18

have a roll of four I'm not even I'm not even

34:20

gonna add it So

34:22

he cusses pulls another arrow out and

34:24

takes another shot and I rolled

34:26

a three what the hell David

34:29

you're doing so good. Take inspiration

34:31

not for this role, but give

34:34

yourself inspiration. All right No,

34:37

don't give him that power Celine. I

34:39

need you to make a intelligence saving role,

34:41

please That's

34:53

pretty good. All right So

34:56

everyone kind of hears something but it's all garbles

34:59

you don't really hear it but Celine you actually

35:01

hear Drop the darkness

35:04

And you drop the darkness. Fuck. It's

35:06

just like I'm just like yeah, and

35:08

it goes yeah the experience You

35:12

learned back in the OT. Yeah, this is

35:14

what they did when they taught you use

35:16

the voice. Oh my god You just been

35:18

voiced. Oh And you don't

35:20

know where it's coming from me to target Wow I

35:23

hate this you got voice All

35:27

right, so the darkness just drops and you see some

35:29

badly burns people up there But they're still alive and

35:32

they're pissed and that is it

35:34

for that person and now we're on to work

35:37

Okay, I would like

35:39

to give Arctic

35:42

inspiration to screech

35:46

squelch squelch squelch

35:49

And then I would like to

35:52

cast let's just do a vicious

35:54

mockery on The

35:56

one that is within 60 feet of me

35:58

that has taken the most damage Alright, so

36:00

the the one that's within 60 feet of you taking

36:02

the most damage you can see through the window

36:05

Definitely is Thrasher. Okay, and

36:07

what does Thrasher look like Thrasher

36:09

looks like a 1980s

36:12

skater with their vision skateboard, you

36:14

know bad mohawk. Oh, yeah and

36:17

Skateboard on an axe weapon. Do they

36:19

have a Thrasher shirt? Mmm.

36:21

Yeah, it's a bit old and faded and that's how they got

36:23

their name Yeah, so anyone just everyone

36:26

could just call them Thrashers. Hey, my name's Lacoste

36:31

What do Thrashers parents think about their

36:33

path in life? Hmm Thrasher killed

36:35

them. So They

36:38

probably don't agree with it. Okay, I

36:40

would like to use vicious mockery

36:42

on Thrasher and just really

36:45

lay into them how disappointed

36:48

that your parents are and that

36:51

you wear such Bad

36:55

clothing you're the type

36:57

of person that people think of whenever they

37:00

say fake skater No,

37:03

your favorite band is Avril Lavigne

37:06

you could never do the

37:10

things that a real skater does vicious

37:15

Eat eat ass a little

37:18

bitch Wisdom 15.

37:21

Holy cow. I got a negative one on that. All

37:23

right. Perfect. I love to hear that. We have 11.

37:25

Perfect I love it great Take

37:30

2d4 Psychic

37:32

damage. All right 2d4. Give it to me.

37:34

Oh, you want me to roll it? I

37:36

get that on her? Wow. Yeah, I'm sure

37:38

roll damage First time

37:41

for everything. I got 8 damage.

37:44

All right Thrasher. Ow His

37:46

pride is hurt and he's got

37:49

some tears coming down and he's like what

37:51

you mean my parents loved me He

37:54

has disadvantage on his next attack roll.

37:56

So sorry. Nice. He took damage

37:58

and He's so

38:00

sad he can't attack well.

38:03

Anything else? No. Methinks

38:05

that's all. Chuck! Okay, how many

38:08

bitches... So there's a couple... Are there

38:10

anyone still inside the bus or... Two

38:12

are inside the bus. We have Thrasher

38:14

and War Vet. And are

38:16

they tussling with... Jimmy.

38:19

Wombat. Jimmy's in there. Wombat! Wombat's

38:21

in there, yep. Okay, I

38:24

run up onto my pump king and

38:26

jump through the window. My

38:28

belly gets stuck, but due

38:32

to the force, it shoots

38:34

a spray of

38:37

glistening guzzling

38:40

from my pores. I need

38:42

both of them to take a Constitution

38:44

saving throw, because this is my version

38:46

of words. Words of radiance. It's kind of

38:48

the exact opposite of the implication, but here

38:50

we are. All right, so this is Thrasher

38:52

and War Vet. So what was

38:54

the save again? Constitution, 16. I

38:57

even told you I trust you so much. I'm

39:01

rolling great tonight. They both fail. I

39:03

hate this, Thrasher. Ah, piss off.

39:06

That is... That

39:09

is nine. Nine. Both of them take

39:11

nine, somehow radiant

39:14

damage, because I'm a

39:16

luxury. Phew, can afford. Nice.

39:18

Okay. And then I slip my girth through

39:20

with the added extra stuff. And then I

39:22

want to get in between both of them

39:24

so they don't game up on my good

39:27

friend, Willie the Wombat. That's

39:29

a nickname I'm working on. Yeah, you and Willie

39:31

are like back to back. Womprat, excuse me. That

39:33

is me. Womprat. I might just call you Willie

39:36

the Wombat. All right, well done.

39:38

We're now at the top of the round in

39:40

Squelch. You're up. Okay, what am I working with?

39:42

So you've got yourself a machine gun. You've killed

39:45

the guy that was with you right now. You have a clear

39:47

shot of two foes across the

39:49

top of the bus there. And you hear

39:51

some scuffling down below. Oh,

39:53

so there's not darkness there anymore? No, darkness

39:55

is gone. Okay. Yeah, let's

39:57

ranged attack with this machine gun. on

40:00

the two guys across the way. That's so

40:02

dangerous. All right, you got bow and arrow,

40:04

and you've got the non-functioning

40:07

flamethrower guy. So are

40:10

either of them on fire, or are they

40:12

just like... Yeah, definitely the flamethrower guy is

40:14

on fire. Okay, I'm gonna let the

40:16

fire take care of that guy, and I'll shoot at

40:18

the bow and arrow. Don't shoot, let him burn. You

40:20

hear the tank music from Left 4 Dead. Yeah, yeah.

40:23

When the doom music kicks in. Oh,

40:25

oh, oh, oh, oh. 13, you miss.

40:29

You fire. Let's

40:33

try it again. Plus... 6? 18? Yes,

40:37

you do hit with that. Okay, and

40:40

I forget, do I get to use my sneak attack for like either

40:42

one of the hits, or does it have to be that? With

40:45

everything, with the chaos going on, I would

40:47

let you do the sneak attack for the

40:49

first one. So do that first

40:51

one again. Wait, what do you

40:53

mean? Correction, I mean advantage. I'm gonna give

40:55

you advantage on your first attack, so the

40:57

one you missed previously, you get to attack

41:00

that guy again. Okay. And

41:02

yes, you do get sneak attack damage for the first

41:04

attack. Well, it's the weird thing is that I was

41:06

actually just the way that I do

41:08

it, just so that I know what's going on. I roll my

41:10

second attack first. So

41:13

that first one was actually my second attack. Oh,

41:15

okay. Is that real? No,

41:18

it's true, I do that. That's why I got 13 damage. You

41:22

roll your second attack.

41:24

Yeah, yeah, yeah. First.

41:27

If you don't have time, you debate.

41:29

Don't worry about it. All

41:31

right, so for me, take all that bullshit you

41:34

just said and just do one more attack. Hell

41:36

yeah. All right, here we go. All

41:41

right, 16 is the magic number, that hits. Eight.

41:46

Eight damage total, and then the first one was 13 damage, right?

41:48

Yeah. Okay, cool. All right,

41:50

describe what it looks like taking out

41:52

the bow person. Oh, I

41:54

mean, you've all seen somebody get killed by a Gatling gun.

41:56

Maybe it was. We've all seen it.

41:59

Yeah. Yeah with

42:01

I just read I read

42:03

this confetti goes falling down

42:05

to the ground. Well john

42:08

out in that it. Squelch.

42:11

Yeah. I can only action surge one

42:14

for longer than good And right? Cool

42:16

Well done squads. Jimmy you their you

42:18

gotta still get those two guys there

42:20

next year. I'm so then I thrashers

42:23

looking pretty bad. I look at Thrasher

42:25

and I go. Why? You

42:27

still nine days? And

42:30

I. Is

42:36

good. Twenty. Seven.

42:39

Wow, that's a hit and

42:41

then that's and be nine

42:43

slashing. You

42:46

know it's funny that is exactly assessing

42:48

the left. So good and give me

42:50

a me Knows description. Of

42:52

what it looks like taking out the thrasher

42:54

and I go I know just try to

42:57

do and I'll he asked his if. I

43:00

swing my my sword low in each

43:02

hostage have another way but as a

43:04

major and as a slice off Bolland

43:06

the seats ah haven't fucked up the

43:08

all he that sucks for him to

43:11

ham what does fuck is an alley.

43:13

And. All in all, in. All. My

43:16

glider. Universe!

43:18

Ah my car they you for not

43:20

say you don't know a bread is

43:22

earlier. I

43:25

ages goes landing on stamps and does.

43:27

His die of embarrassment pain so

43:29

I well done Thrasher is gone

43:32

and then for my second attack.

43:34

yeah ssssss Ira I'll yeah looks

43:36

like it's yeah. I'd say now

43:39

body is War that you're going

43:41

against war vets. I thank you

43:43

for your service and now die.

43:47

At at ah in that at

43:49

his I believe the magic Six

43:52

know it's not worth. Fourteen.

43:54

Let's see war that acts as a

43:56

myth. Oops. I couldn't bring myself to

43:58

do with. You

44:01

much respect that you must respect Pay.

44:03

You gotta dig deep. You gotta dig

44:05

deep. sigh And it's anything else Jimmy

44:07

Ah does give for Jimmy. Put a

44:09

saline Europe. Okay. So

44:12

we know there is a one person

44:14

up with the to get the bozos.

44:17

One person up there on fire her

44:19

mirror as one person inside the boss.

44:21

There's. An unknown. You. Just

44:24

got brain attacked a new just got

44:26

forced to do something. So. This

44:28

someone else or all. K

44:30

K. Do

44:33

anything about that. And and

44:35

and you are the only one that knows

44:37

about the other. I am your. As.

44:42

Everyone else. Know

44:44

Fox? Okay, Maybe

44:49

some perceive them. And

44:52

ideal at the perception check. This is like

44:55

look. Around for absolutely. Okay,

44:57

that is a twenty one. Or

45:00

twenty was the last gleaned. that is

45:02

amazing Lady Saline Looking around you scan

45:05

ah the the area nearby you ah

45:07

a look up on the walls you'll

45:09

look around for anything on laws and

45:12

any. Don't see anything there but something

45:14

is a move around the corner of

45:16

your i are you look over and

45:19

the sand the needs of to the

45:21

right outside of the fortress. There's definitely

45:23

something unnatural that one of the mounds

45:26

over there I'll hang as if something

45:28

is is. Essentially

45:30

hiding. Okay, so. You.

45:35

Spell. That. Is

45:37

called Ralph's and psychic.

45:40

And. I

45:45

know, like a totally. Different. Are you

45:47

can see you can see a mouse and

45:50

you believe there's a creature hiding? Yeah oh

45:52

you could attack them out. I will come

45:54

out. There. Are

45:58

many see off? That her

46:01

new right finger.

46:03

she's says it

46:05

off. And a

46:07

site is the last. Gonzo?

46:09

Yeah, exactly. Are right. That

46:13

is as intelligent sees.

46:15

Oh wow. okay. And

46:19

the see intelligence and goes without nineteen.

46:22

Oh that. Sucks.

46:29

So let's roll seventy.

46:33

Nine capacity. Of

46:36

mean the hidden? Do.

46:39

So happens I grilled. Not

46:41

warehouses. And nasri. well, I'm

46:48

like, let him. Know. That I know where they are.

46:50

Like a. In

46:54

that case, and can I try

46:56

to solve them? To

46:59

I know generally where they are. His

47:01

students of them out as extreme

47:04

as a good of amounts tatiana.

47:06

District shrink save on the sub freezing.

47:08

Rain So very. Good

47:11

at intelligence and with us to

47:13

see his or her. yeah they

47:15

totally failed that high. So would

47:17

you say from your perspective this

47:19

the forced to push his Young

47:21

Springer news for that applies to

47:23

put a full palm a former

47:26

yeah hi nice and just as

47:28

last survey or whatever does the

47:30

last a pushes in the magic.

47:32

Gonna give it a signing on

47:34

a sonic boom? Oh yeah that

47:36

sounds cool this person or with

47:38

picture. My head like our gas. i'm

47:42

not going to remember the movie forget it

47:44

he was person and co sliding out that

47:46

the saying goes flying everywhere and dot this

47:48

person is there and a day's pay if

47:50

you were the look in a mirror with

47:52

exactly like to dress the same ways i

47:54

had to use all over their face and

47:56

everything like that and are they just eyeball

47:58

look it up as as Rage inside

48:00

there. It's a world where we

48:02

walk guys from far away. Yes.

48:04

Yes Kill

48:07

him All

48:10

right, and that is it for Celine and next

48:12

up the war vet This

48:14

war vet since he's right next to Jimmy. It's

48:17

not gonna not gonna step away. He's not stupid

48:19

He's not gonna walk away. He's just gonna take

48:21

a swing at you with this. Uh, this hockey

48:23

stick. Good luck, buddy we

48:25

miss Yeah,

48:27

second swing at you and we have this one's

48:29

good. This one actually is 23 versus

48:31

AC. We'll hit there you go Nice

48:34

job. Okay, and we've got a total of

48:37

11 Damage flashing again.

48:39

What the hell? I know that's very

48:41

important Wait Hold

48:44

please. Oh, oh, I

48:46

can do a thing. I'm pretty sure Yeah,

48:49

I can do a silvery Barb.

48:52

Yeah. Yeah, I just I basically

48:54

throw some glitter in it Or

48:57

I pick up some sand and I put it in my

48:59

face and then I throw it out and I say pocket

49:01

sand Okay, and it gets distracted

49:04

Magic. Okay, you have to reroll So

49:07

we roll take the look take the second. Yes.

49:09

Yeah, take the lower roll.

49:12

Okay. Well the first roll I rolled a 19 Plus

49:15

my bonus second rolling that I rolled a

49:17

natural 20, bro well,

49:19

my Michael David

49:25

Nikko we know silvery Barb's is a

49:27

reaction I

49:36

made a pun damn and I hate puns. You got

49:38

yourself some damage. I think was 11 of Okay,

49:42

and that is it for both

49:44

tax. So that is it for that one Rourke.

49:46

Who are you giving advantage to? Whoa I can

49:49

then choose a different creature. I

49:51

can see within range beautiful to

49:54

get advantage I would like to give Advantage

49:57

to my father All

49:59

right cool. Lady Celine, this

50:02

person that you see, that

50:05

you pushed out of the sand, they stand up

50:07

and look right at you and

50:09

you hear from them,

50:11

from them, hurt yourself.

50:14

And I need you to do an intelligence save. Okay.

50:20

I might look at all my shit like,

50:22

oh, is there anything I can do? Shields.

50:24

In my head, I was like, Selena's

50:27

smarter. You would think that, but no. Kind

50:31

of close it on personality for magic. Who's

50:35

the personality higher? All

50:39

right. So you can't

50:41

even control it with your steel gaunted, like

50:43

your exoskeleton. You just

50:45

punch yourself in the face. Oh,

50:47

it sucks. Just,

50:49

you know, really, really hard,

50:52

fast. Let's see. That is,

50:54

you're going to take a total of eight

50:57

bludgeoning damage. Okay. And

51:00

you hear the voice again. Again.

51:04

And I need you to do another intelligence

51:06

save. What the heck? Oh, thank God. I get the

51:08

roll again. It's probably gonna be worse this time though. Oh

51:13

my God. Where's that time? I

51:15

feel like I need to give Celine my neck. All

51:19

right. So Celine, you're taking another eight

51:21

bludgeoning damage. You just punch yourself in

51:23

the stomach. My tummy. Hot girl problems.

51:27

And, and, uh, Roar, you're out there with

51:29

her and, and you're like, what the hell?

51:31

She's just beating herself up. Yeah. What is

51:33

going on? Celine stop. You

51:37

definitely noticed there's another person out there that looks

51:39

just like Celine dressed the same with tattoos and

51:41

everything out there. I hate that bitch. Out

51:44

in front of the bus with you all about 20 feet

51:46

away. Your rivals in school. Okay.

51:48

That is it for that

51:51

person's turn. Last, the, uh, the

51:53

one behind squelch draws another arrow

51:55

and takes a shot at squelch and

51:57

a miss takes another shot at

51:59

squelch. I rolled an eight, I rolled a

52:01

two. Fuck you. Ooh! Now I

52:03

want to do Roark. Roark, you're up. Roark, Roark, Roark.

52:06

What? Damn, me already. Shit. Piss.

52:09

Um... Your last turn was like

52:11

20 minutes. Who is in most,

52:14

uh, damage right now? Who looks

52:16

beat up the most? I think probably

52:18

Celine is beating herself up the most.

52:20

Yeah, yeah. If I'm to see

52:22

it's happening, I'm gonna go dance. But it's self-inflicted,

52:24

so I mean, that's crazy. Yeah, maybe she likes it. I

52:26

don't know. No, I don't like it. Quiet! Uh,

52:29

it's not your turn. Hey! I can't hold on! She

52:32

can't say anything. Okay, I

52:35

think that it would be

52:37

fun to give someone... Oh

52:40

wait, what's the closest beast to me?

52:43

Uh, let's see, I think, uh, we've got a

52:46

worm parked nearby. Okay, I'll

52:48

take the worm and do a little

52:50

hypnotic pattern on it. Um,

52:53

give me a wisdom... Why? No, no, no, the

52:55

worm is our friend. The worm is your

52:57

car, is Jimmy's. No, I said

52:59

beast. Yeah. I meant

53:02

like beast as a negative monster,

53:04

so sorry. You mean creature? Bad

53:07

guy? Creature. Cratcher. So

53:09

the closest... Negative cratcher.

53:12

The closest cratcher to you

53:14

is definitely this mirror image

53:16

of Celine. Okay, I want

53:18

to hypnotic pattern it

53:20

so that they won't move. Hell

53:23

yeah. Wisdom 15. I

53:25

think Celine is not wise. She's so

53:27

dumb. I'm gonna take my... I'm

53:29

like wise-ish. I mostly

53:31

hero's magic though. Not

53:34

super great, but I got, I have a plus

53:36

one, but I got a total of 17, so 16 plus one. Fuck face.

53:38

Wow, fuck off, David. I'm

53:42

good at like saves, I just suck at attacking. That's fine, but

53:44

that's my turn. Are

53:47

you able to use your bardic shit to

53:49

make them re-roll? What's your

53:51

college do? I think that I just

53:53

get... Let me look it up.

53:56

Because I think you're the one that lets

53:58

you use your bardic as part of the process. to

54:01

throw a negative D8, is that correct,

54:03

as a reaction? Yes, I

54:05

can use basically the opposite

54:08

of Bardic Inspiration

54:10

instead of giving it to someone. I

54:12

can make them have a negative, I

54:14

think. So that way they'll have to roll

54:16

a D8 and subtract it from their save

54:18

so you can get their asses. You can

54:20

rule their asses. Rule their ass, can't say

54:22

that anymore. Yeah, I can. You

54:24

can expend, okay, cutting words. Yeah,

54:27

because I'm College of Eloquence, so I have to

54:29

do it before the motherfucker rolls, and I hate

54:31

it. Whereas you can use it as a reaction,

54:33

and I'm jealous of it, that being said, you

54:35

lose your reaction. I can use it as

54:37

a reaction. Yeah, let's use it, why not?

54:39

Fuck it. I'm gonna take

54:41

a short rest at least. Just

54:43

right now. Everyone's like, I gotta

54:45

take a nap. No, I mean

54:47

like before we record next. I know, we're gonna

54:50

hit long. That's a different one. We're gonna hit long

54:52

rest. Perfect. All

54:54

right, cool. So you're gonna be doing that

54:56

on your next turn, or is

54:59

this something you're doing now? Roll a D8

55:01

and subtract that from your 17. Oh, oh,

55:03

oh, okay. Right now it happens. 11,

55:07

11, 11. You fucking

55:09

jerk. Okay, you fail. Fuck

55:12

it. You fail. You fail. You want to

55:15

fuck it. I was gonna say you fucked

55:17

up. You fucked up, and

55:19

you failed. So now the

55:21

fake Celine is charbed for

55:26

the duration of the spell. Oh, fuck, okay.

55:28

And so what does that mean? What does

55:30

that mean? They're incapacitated and have a

55:33

speed of zero. Okay, that's

55:35

not good. But they will snap out

55:38

of the effect if they take

55:40

damage or

55:42

if someone else uses an action to shake

55:44

them from their stupor, which

55:47

no one would be. No. No one

55:49

would shake them out of it. No, don't

55:51

do that. That's a very powerful combo.

55:53

Well done. All right, Chuck,

55:55

you're up. Okay, I guess I'll just unhanded

55:58

strike. For one damage

56:01

the creature that my daughter restrained

56:03

with a huge and powerful magic.

56:05

I'm kidding It's a reverse for the

56:07

kids me and my good

56:09

friend Jimmy Can

56:12

I try to do a grapple

56:14

against cuz he didn't kill the

56:16

war vet war vet I

56:19

want to try to grapple war vet. So right

56:22

Where that sounds like they could be a wrestler Absolutely.

56:25

So I rolled a

56:27

seven my strength modifiers of

56:29

three and then oh Ass

56:33

I forgot that I don't have I have decks

56:35

whatever got us got us big got us

56:37

good Come on,

56:39

baby. You did have a little 10 I

56:43

did I rolled exactly and I got 10 as well.

56:45

So that's a it's a the same

56:47

nothing happens. I don't want it No,

56:50

wait, oh, hey, I'd have

56:52

Bardock inspiration still so fuck

56:55

I will use that Then

56:58

I needed to roll above a one and I

57:00

did or above a zero and I did I

57:02

got a three So I want to restrain War

57:07

vet and I want to put my

57:09

big meaty arms

57:11

under his neck And you

57:14

know lift his neck up Maybe pull his

57:16

dog tags out a little bit and like

57:18

yeah, that right here brother You

57:20

got to steal his dog tags that will give

57:22

him the most dishonor Yeah, how

57:25

battlefield work for a little bit if you

57:27

did a melee takedown each other dog tag

57:30

Anyways, me and Michael tomorrow love what battlefield

57:32

boys? Oh, yeah. Did you ever

57:34

stream battlefield with Michael? So anytime? Yeah

57:36

a million times I

57:40

Mean I streamed it together. We probably did it

57:42

way fewer times than you guys guys are you?

57:46

I like Michael in battlefield more. Hey guys

57:48

the battles out there Michael

57:51

and I never played any games together.

57:53

So that's not true. Wait, would

57:55

we play together D&D? I'm

58:00

just gonna use my turn to grapple them.

58:02

Yeah, nice. All right, so whoever attacks the

58:04

next has got this Advantage while

58:06

he's while he's grappled. All right. We're

58:08

dead now at the top of the round squelch you are

58:11

up top I don't like the name What

58:15

you're looking at now squelches you got

58:17

the guy who's on fire still That's

58:20

that's the only one in targets right now

58:22

The turret couldn't get down to the to

58:24

the Celine lookalike it wouldn't be able

58:26

to get down there But there is a Celine

58:29

lookalike that is there too, but they're like locked

58:31

down via spooky magic true That's right. Having said

58:33

we got to take them out So it's not

58:35

a big they gotta go I can't be more

58:37

than one and you'll get advantage like quadruple

58:40

advantage if you tackle Squelch

58:44

squelch In

58:51

case you weren't is there another My

58:58

brain wandered to a broken Super Nintendo I

59:00

have and what could be the deal with

59:02

that mr. Mr. Mr. Enema, it's your turn

59:04

watching your face go from just be like

59:06

waiting to realize it was your turn was

59:08

so funny We've

59:12

all been there so just to recap squelch

59:14

you have a person on fire that's in

59:16

sight right now Are they taking damage or

59:18

are they just oh, yeah? Yeah. Yeah, they

59:21

are taking damage Okay, and then down below

59:23

you see a Celine lookalike who's kind of

59:25

enough stupor because they can't do anything And

59:27

we're trying to kill that yes, you gotta

59:29

go Celine. Yeah Yeah,

59:34

assuming I can tell the difference I walk on

59:36

yeah now you know you you can't get the

59:38

turret to them So if you're gonna engage with

59:40

them, you're gonna have to use a different weapon or

59:42

go down Oh, it doesn't mean that far down Correct.

59:46

I can't rip it off you mentioned Halo And

59:53

because I put myself in the trap if you want

59:55

to do a strength check to try and get it

59:57

off you go I mean, he's got noodle arms, so

1:00:00

You're always setting them up for failure and humor. I do

1:00:02

want to do a strength check. You know what here goes

1:00:06

I believe and deus ex a

1:00:08

Gatling gun for it. I don't know where it's

1:00:10

gonna help a lot I always forget how you

1:00:12

is it the number underneath strength. That's my or

1:00:15

no. That's my stat That's the day

1:00:17

there. I got a plus 16. Let's go It's

1:00:21

whichever minus 10 divided by

1:00:23

2 I Know

1:00:26

you won't remember you don't need to remember that

1:00:28

tells you no never learn I don't even remember

1:00:30

what you said now. Um, so 12 total

1:00:33

you're tugging away on it. You cannot get that thing

1:00:35

off I'm gonna wait.

1:00:38

I tugged it away Action

1:00:45

surge I tug again Refractory

1:00:48

period why don't we call it refractory period or I

1:00:50

need it instead if I need to take a long

1:00:52

rest Hmm, okay,

1:00:54

that's fair. That's

1:00:56

fair. I guess I'll just do like

1:00:59

a regular ranged attack. Okay boring 17

1:01:05

that is a hit Okay. Okay, you're

1:01:08

attacking Celine look alike. Yeah, you have

1:01:10

advantage. Just see if you crit. I'll

1:01:12

see if I crit. Yeah, do you

1:01:14

crit? I What

1:01:17

is Do

1:01:20

it I did not crit. Okay, uh 11

1:01:24

damage. Okay, ouchy, but it's like right in

1:01:26

the forehead just like sticking

1:01:28

out squelch anything else. No

1:01:32

Okay, Jimmy you're up. All right, so

1:01:35

Me Jimmy you got an open war

1:01:37

that being held held down. You've got

1:01:40

a Advantage if you want to attack

1:01:42

him and I do I Say

1:01:45

don't thank you for

1:01:47

your service And

1:01:50

that is gonna be an

1:01:52

18 that is a hit see

1:01:58

And that is gonna be a 11

1:02:03

damage. Alright

1:02:05

looking pretty bad you have another

1:02:07

attack action. I do. With

1:02:10

advantage. I great. Yeah

1:02:13

stop there but better. He hates

1:02:15

it I can tell. That

1:02:18

is going to be a 17. That

1:02:21

is going to be a war

1:02:23

vet. Just hit. That

1:02:26

was the magic number. I'm

1:02:28

just chopping away at his neck. Hit hit.

1:02:32

Ew. Uh 6, 7, uh 15

1:02:34

damage. 15

1:02:38

damage okay. Still

1:02:41

kicking but barely. Just die

1:02:43

already you piece of shit. You got

1:02:45

blood all over me. We're

1:02:48

on to Celine you're up. Okay

1:02:50

so there's fake there's faux Celine

1:02:52

and there's one other guy?

1:02:54

Uh yeah we have a person on fire,

1:02:56

a person in the bus and a fake

1:02:58

Celine. Okay. Fake Celine snapped

1:03:00

out of that charm. Okay

1:03:03

yeah I'm gonna be honest I'm less than certain of

1:03:05

the person that's currently on fire so I'm gonna leave

1:03:07

that one alone. What if they have 800 HP like

1:03:09

I hate this. They could. Um

1:03:11

and Celine's about I'm gonna have to

1:03:14

make a choice right now. Okay. So I'm

1:03:16

about to make a decision. Uh which is to

1:03:18

burn my last 4th level spell slot. We have

1:03:20

like 8 minutes left. I'm

1:03:22

also going to burn some

1:03:24

of my sorcery points so

1:03:26

that I can twin the

1:03:29

spell and hit two people

1:03:31

with relative psychic land. Holy.

1:03:33

Do it. That's scary. I

1:03:35

love it. Yeah. Uh

1:03:38

so imagine that Celine oh

1:03:40

I guess this is the middle finger attack again I was gonna

1:03:42

be like I'm like. Bro the fact that

1:03:44

you can remember it I'm you're twinning it. Yeah yeah

1:03:46

yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

1:03:49

yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah Yeah.

1:03:52

Um so yeah so that is an

1:03:54

intelligent save for both of them.

1:03:56

Okay. First. First

1:03:58

we'll do the twin Celine. Twin Stellene

1:04:01

rolls a natural one. Yay! Super

1:04:03

bitch! Gotta get

1:04:06

Lance. The one

1:04:08

up on fire passed. The

1:04:10

one that's not on fire down below with

1:04:12

good intelligence failed. There are no two guys

1:04:14

that are not on fire. Okay,

1:04:16

so let me know. Being

1:04:19

on fire for that one probably gives you a lot of clarity. Do

1:04:22

you think so? So that is

1:04:25

34 psychic damage

1:04:27

to them. And then half for the

1:04:29

one that passed. Describe

1:04:32

killing the one on fire. Okay,

1:04:35

so yeah, so you

1:04:37

just see like shooting from my

1:04:39

left middle finger, this like bolt

1:04:41

of light, kind of like a,

1:04:44

like a, what's

1:04:46

the, a phaser in, you know, Star

1:04:48

Trek or whatever. You just think, ding!

1:04:51

And then explosion, like

1:04:53

scanner style fucked up

1:04:55

brain explosion. It's on

1:04:58

fire and it's exploding. Yeah, flaming

1:05:00

meat tones everywhere. I love it. Okay.

1:05:04

And your, your, your Celine look

1:05:06

alike. Yeah. Damage,

1:05:09

half, still alive, still kicking, but pissed.

1:05:11

But still, so I tried to do

1:05:13

a similar scanners brain explosion, but it didn't

1:05:15

like quite work. Her, her

1:05:17

nose bled. Yeah, her nose is bleeding. She's bleeding

1:05:19

out her ears. She's bleeding out of every hole. Every

1:05:21

hole? All of them? Up to you. You

1:05:24

interpret that how you want. No. Wow.

1:05:27

That's a lot. Even

1:05:31

their cloaca? Listen, I can either

1:05:33

confirm or deny. Especially the

1:05:35

cloaca. I won't describe that. We'll

1:05:37

continue. Next up, I'd

1:05:40

like Rourke to give me an

1:05:42

intelligence save, please. That's

1:05:44

not something I'm good at, David. My

1:05:46

daughter's real smart. Top of her class. Home

1:05:49

school. Like, like our class is soccer

1:05:51

school. That's

1:05:53

the biggest bird I've ever heard. I

1:05:57

rolled a three. negative

1:06:00

one so I got a two. The

1:06:02

dice no sometimes. Yep the dice no. And

1:06:05

you hear inside your head, well first of all

1:06:07

what weapons like melee or ranged weapons do you

1:06:09

carry with you? I'm trying to remember. I think

1:06:12

she has a rape theater. Okay

1:06:14

you just hear inside your

1:06:17

head attack the

1:06:19

other woman and you're

1:06:21

going to attack Celine with

1:06:23

your rape here. Oh shit. That's

1:06:26

rude. Wow. That's

1:06:28

rude. Yeah and I'll let you roll the attack. Thank

1:06:31

you. No thank you. Oh

1:06:34

wait actually this might work well I've been really low. With

1:06:36

advantage. Stop

1:06:38

it. Okay I rolled a 14 plus 5. That's

1:06:43

a great roll nice job. I can't stop

1:06:45

it. My AC? Yeah. Your AC yes. I

1:06:48

would like to cast

1:06:51

shield as a reaction

1:06:53

to it yes. Nice job. And then

1:06:55

it doesn't just barely take me up to 20. Yes.

1:06:59

Awesome. Perfect. I imagine your shield is

1:07:01

just your your exo armor like clanking

1:07:04

it away. Yeah yeah it like it like

1:07:06

comes around like it kind of like shoots out of

1:07:08

my fingers to like form like

1:07:10

a shield in front of me and it's like

1:07:13

silvery you still kind of see through it. Nice

1:07:15

nice you're feeling good you snap out of

1:07:18

it. Roark make

1:07:20

another intelligence save. No thank

1:07:22

you. Do it again. Oh

1:07:25

I got a 16 minus one so

1:07:27

15. You you're able to save

1:07:29

you you say no no. Fuck

1:07:32

off. I love that. That takes care of that

1:07:35

attack. The last one up top is the one

1:07:37

that just pulled up another arrow takes

1:07:39

a shot at squelch again. This

1:07:41

time we have 15 versus AC. I don't think

1:07:43

that's even close. My armor is 17. Hell

1:07:46

yeah. Okay that's a miss another shot

1:07:48

and a miss. He just throws his

1:07:51

bow down he's gonna charge you then.

1:07:53

That is it for this guy and

1:07:55

we're on to Roark.

1:07:59

What? You're up. What? What?

1:08:04

Thank you. Yes. Okay. I

1:08:07

think I want to do my

1:08:09

bardic inspiration, but the uno reversal

1:08:11

re version negative That's a cool one.

1:08:13

Yeah. Yeah, I want to do that again and

1:08:18

Nika your thing is a reaction. So you have to like it's

1:08:20

further if that's save or whatever Stop

1:08:23

it I just got done saying that your version

1:08:26

is better than mine and then you get my

1:08:28

version or I guess tempest version How dare you?

1:08:31

Do you just have something? Okay, I'll

1:08:33

stop the closest thing to me. That's the link.

1:08:36

Yeah do it No, no, okay the

1:08:38

closest enemy to me you love to leave

1:08:40

anything but that you're so used to

1:08:42

stabbing her Thanks, Aline. Thanks Aline. I got

1:08:44

an 18. That's a hit

1:08:46

perfect Okay, two plus

1:08:49

two four baby. Look at that

1:08:52

All right, that's my turn every little

1:08:54

bit and we're on to Chuck

1:08:57

Chuck Chuck. Okay, so I have the guy in

1:08:59

my hand. Yeah, can I do like a pressure

1:09:01

point? Vulcan death

1:09:04

grip. Yeah and War

1:09:06

fat has like a little bit of health,

1:09:08

right? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. You can yeah Just

1:09:11

go ahead and give me a straight face

1:09:13

attack. Uh, I very clearly said a

1:09:15

pressure point because I want to do decks. Oh

1:09:18

God, okay tricky shit, but it's up to

1:09:20

you. Obviously. No, that's fine. That's my decks

1:09:22

is a 17

1:09:26

okay with my You see my

1:09:28

necklace glow because probably gets like pushing

1:09:30

against his neck as well and burning

1:09:32

him was like I'm getting radiation like

1:09:35

you'll get used to it. That's right my

1:09:37

mind I have it up in my left

1:09:39

arm and I wanted to like push my

1:09:41

my two fingers behind just let's just say

1:09:43

fucking Behind his like a windpipe and rip

1:09:45

it out describe killing him I

1:09:49

Rip the neck out and then as a joke

1:09:51

I I spray my

1:09:54

good friend Jimmy

1:09:56

with the arterial blood that's

1:09:58

squirting out like Oh come on! It's

1:10:01

hard to open it. Oh man. Oh. Oh.

1:10:04

He's like running away and my porn head down like, ha ha.

1:10:06

And then I squeeze the guy's belly to make sure there's more.

1:10:08

Oh come on. I'll never

1:10:10

get to that. All

1:10:14

right. So charging up from the side

1:10:16

behind the arrow guys

1:10:18

that kept failing, he just gets

1:10:20

flung to the side as this

1:10:22

big hulking giant wearing a metal mask

1:10:25

comes charging up to. She hated

1:10:27

us. God, that's the best way

1:10:29

I've ever seen. Humongous is on

1:10:32

their way. Humongous. Humongous

1:10:34

anus. Humongous anus.

1:10:36

He stops about 15 feet away from Squelch.

1:10:39

He raises his hand up and there's just

1:10:41

this overly sized handgun. And for some reason

1:10:43

it's got truck balls on it. What? Oh

1:10:45

yeah. No. And he blasts

1:10:47

it straight into Squelch's face. We're going

1:10:50

to see if this attack works. We

1:10:52

have a total of 17 versus your

1:10:54

AC. Which is 17. Oh

1:10:56

no. Well you didn't

1:10:58

say which face. I'm wearing one and I have

1:11:00

one. Yeah, like there's a face

1:11:02

here, face there. Yeah, the one that's in front

1:11:04

of your proper face, whatever is there. Yeah. He

1:11:08

just blasts right into you and we

1:11:10

have a total of. Gotta roll

1:11:12

the dice. It's just

1:11:14

so funny thinking about Squelch anus getting

1:11:16

shot straight into his face. What? That

1:11:18

is not a quell thing. He's

1:11:22

being shot in the face with this giant gun with

1:11:25

dangling truck balls on the handle. Ow.

1:11:28

You're supposed to get bolts in it. All

1:11:30

right, so you're taking 18 damage. I

1:11:34

do that all day. Ouchies. That's nothing. I'm

1:11:36

a shot, point blank shot to the face.

1:11:40

It's like the bat start to rock your head

1:11:42

back. That's what happened. The

1:11:45

fuck boy who was terrible with the bow

1:11:47

and arrow, when he fell down he's just

1:11:50

impaled on a bunch of spikes down there.

1:11:52

You just have Hugh lungus there. It

1:11:54

is now top of the round with

1:11:57

Squelch. I'm ready to kill this

1:11:59

guy. I want to I

1:12:01

want to disarm this guy and shoot him back

1:12:03

in the face Okay How

1:12:07

do I do that? If

1:12:09

you want to try a dexterity based one, we're

1:12:11

just gonna play here. Yeah. Yeah a sleight of

1:12:13

hand probably right 18

1:12:17

plus six you're doing CQC 24.

1:12:19

Give me another one. Give me

1:12:21

a stealth base roll I'm

1:12:23

gonna combine the two 14

1:12:26

plus 9 23. All right,

1:12:29

we're gonna phrase this as a you're

1:12:31

going to attack You know, he's

1:12:33

thinking you're you're coming in to actually attack him,

1:12:35

but then you do some shitty TV

1:12:38

stuff and you are able to

1:12:40

grab hold of his gun He's still got

1:12:42

it in his hand, but you've aimed it

1:12:44

back at him. You do some shitty little

1:12:46

move. It fucking sucks Yeah, and it works.

1:12:48

So he's got in his hand, but you've

1:12:50

you you've got it aimed at part of

1:12:52

his body right now Yeah. Yeah.

1:12:55

Well not a part of his body right back

1:12:57

in his fucking face. I Pull

1:13:02

that trigger. All right, just do a straight-up a

1:13:04

range-based attack, please both of

1:13:06

the face mask boys are

1:13:09

fighting 19

1:13:11

yeah, you you absolutely hit him go to

1:13:13

roll to the eight, please. Oh my god.

1:13:16

Yeah, it's a different a different weapon, eh?

1:13:19

It's a ball gun One D8

1:13:22

for ball a truck nuts gun you can

1:13:24

let the mask guys battle each other in the

1:13:26

fake Celine's can battle each other Yeah, and then

1:13:28

me and Robert. Yeah, awesome background. Yeah, I

1:13:31

get my sneak attack for this, right? I think I

1:13:33

just always get it. Yeah, cuz you're a skullduggery, right?

1:13:36

Yeah. Oh, you have some some yeah some

1:13:38

other shitty thing Yeah, I got it. I

1:13:40

got a thing. He doesn't get advantage. He

1:13:42

gets sneak attack. Yeah, so six seven eight

1:13:45

15 all right blammo

1:13:50

That's what I say, c'mon normal gun

1:13:52

shot sound but I also say blam

1:13:54

All right, oh

1:13:56

my face. Okay, that's it for

1:13:58

your turn with all the extra Bullshit you did

1:14:01

I kind of hope you have it back to

1:14:03

me honestly. Yeah. Yeah, all right excellent And the nice

1:14:05

thing is you know he you you

1:14:07

know you're kind of like what close to six

1:14:09

feet tall Yeah, this guy is about 12 Like

1:14:17

Russian roulette, but like there's a

1:14:20

bullet in every chamber. That's right That's

1:14:23

called riskier roulette. That's Shoot

1:14:26

somebody I think Excellent well

1:14:28

done. We now have Jimmy

1:14:31

you're up all right. Here's some tussling up

1:14:33

above you so humongous is up above

1:14:35

us Yeah, you hear humongous up

1:14:38

there or you assume use them gunshots. I'm

1:14:40

gonna try to scramble my way up there

1:14:42

a sap Give me

1:14:44

athletics or acrobatics Athletics,

1:14:47

please my big

1:14:49

little muscles Your

1:14:51

trashcan armor 18 yeah,

1:14:54

you have no problem scrambling up And you can

1:14:56

see like maybe 20 feet away from

1:14:58

you you see Screech

1:15:00

echo halfway up this giant battling with

1:15:02

them do I can I get over

1:15:05

there? What the hell we're almost over time

1:15:07

so yeah, you're over there with him all right. I run

1:15:09

over I I Do

1:15:11

a roll in between his huge

1:15:13

tree trunk like legs, and

1:15:16

then I slash one of his left

1:15:18

ankle all right Ow

1:15:20

that's his tendon as a big roll as

1:15:22

a big good roll 26

1:15:26

26 that is a hit All

1:15:31

right, that is gonna be 12

1:15:34

flashing damage Alright, oh my

1:15:36

tendons, and then I'm gonna turn

1:15:38

and slashes other ankle on his

1:15:40

other foot Oh,

1:15:42

Michael that is just grotesque. I'm

1:15:44

sorry. I can't help it Too

1:15:47

much you have crossed a

1:15:49

line. I don't care. I'm um I Don't

1:15:52

care Next week

1:15:55

you have to go back to telling our

1:15:57

story dirty dirty 20. Yeah,

1:15:59

we can never I'm gonna let you be a

1:16:01

player again. Dirty 20, that is a hit.

1:16:03

All right, all right, all right. Oh,

1:16:06

maximum damage. That

1:16:08

is 14? 14

1:16:13

damage. Oh, plus

1:16:15

three, because he's bigger than me. So 17 damage. All

1:16:18

right. Oh, fun. Oh, nice. Actually, plus

1:16:20

three for the last one, too. I got

1:16:22

a question for Jimmy. Action surge? I'm gonna

1:16:24

action surge. Hell yeah.

1:16:26

Hell yeah. Yeah, baby. Blow

1:16:28

it all. Blow it all. Oh,

1:16:31

nice. That's great. That's a 22. That's

1:16:34

a hit. All right, so yes, I'll go left

1:16:36

ankle, right ankle, and then I go

1:16:38

straight up. Ow. Middle

1:16:41

ankle, the taint. The taint

1:16:43

needs. That's 16 damage. 19

1:16:46

with the extra. Wow. The

1:16:49

taint is the ankle of the ass. Wow.

1:16:53

Very good. He's looking very

1:16:55

bad from your position. And you're just covered

1:16:57

with all sorts of nasty blood that is

1:16:59

pouring down on top of you. All

1:17:02

right, we're gonna go on to, that

1:17:04

was Jimmy Celine. Woo. You

1:17:06

staring down, you're doppelganger. Yeah,

1:17:09

this bitch has gotta go. Okay,

1:17:11

Karen. That,

1:17:13

oh, is anyone close

1:17:16

to her? Roar, right next

1:17:18

to her. Okay, okay, okay.

1:17:21

I will not fireball her. Fireball.

1:17:23

I will not. Fireball. Fireball. Do

1:17:25

what's in your heart. I

1:17:28

mean, I could, or I could lightning ball her. Lightning ball is

1:17:30

almost exactly the same damage, right? Pretty much, yeah, so.

1:17:32

And you don't have to kill your friend? Exactly. And

1:17:35

I can angle it. Listen, leave it up to

1:17:37

faith. I mean, if there's somebody that I could

1:17:39

line up with, I could hit two people within

1:17:42

100 feet. No, not down

1:17:44

here, it's just. All right, well. If

1:17:46

the positions were reversed, because the guy's 12 feet tall.

1:17:48

My doppelganger, Celine, she needs to do

1:17:50

a deck save. All right, she's

1:17:53

great at that, and she fails.

1:17:55

Ha ha ha, well then. It

1:17:57

is time to roll. The dress gets in the way. 86.

1:18:01

Wow, that's so much. That is a

1:18:04

28 lightning damage

1:18:06

to her. Damn. Describe

1:18:09

killing beneath those tights

1:18:11

or whatever. So Celine,

1:18:13

this time, I've already used both

1:18:15

my middle fingers. So I use a pointer

1:18:17

finger on my left hand now to do

1:18:19

one final flick and like lightning,

1:18:22

like blue crackling lightning comes out

1:18:24

and it zaps her right in

1:18:26

the middle of her face between

1:18:28

her eyes. I don't like that.

1:18:31

Um, and like Kate. Yeah.

1:18:33

And, and then she, you know,

1:18:35

she's like, like, and she's smoking

1:18:37

and she's all roasted and crispy

1:18:39

and she, your skeleton collapse. Yeah. You

1:18:42

can see your skeleton for a second and

1:18:44

she collapses to the sand. Wonderful. We

1:18:46

are on to Rork. So

1:18:48

there's no one down here. Okay.

1:18:50

But you can see them battling this giant

1:18:53

up there. If you have any range or

1:18:55

if you want to buff them or do

1:18:57

something against the giant, whichever, whatever you want

1:18:59

to do or start to scramble up there,

1:19:01

it has a metal face mask. True. Oh

1:19:05

yeah. I'm going to heat metal. How would suck

1:19:07

so bad on that little bitch? Uh,

1:19:11

that's a constitution, right? Yeah. That's

1:19:13

a fail. It's something great.

1:19:15

Amazing. Yeah. Cause like

1:19:17

seeing if you can withstand holding it and this

1:19:19

thing is strapped to his head. Yeah. Doesn't it

1:19:21

happen on their turn? They drop it or something.

1:19:24

I don't remember how this happened. When it happens.

1:19:26

Yeah. You're right. I forget when, but yeah, it's

1:19:29

not so bad. It's like one of those like

1:19:31

horrifying things to think of. Yeah. Yeah.

1:19:34

Yeah. I

1:19:37

rolled four for the damage

1:19:39

though. Okay. Oh, it's

1:19:42

more of a psychological thing. Yeah.

1:19:45

It's upsetting.

1:19:48

Let's be real. It just, it doesn't, it just happens.

1:19:50

Yeah. All right. Cool. All right. We're

1:19:53

down to Chuck. Chuck, Chuck, Chuck. Okay.

1:19:55

So since they are up

1:19:57

there and I'm covered in blood and.

1:20:00

gut and things of that nature, I will

1:20:03

run outside and then

1:20:05

I will reach into

1:20:07

my back pocket and

1:20:12

throw a, it looks

1:20:16

like a mix

1:20:18

between like a straw doll and

1:20:21

like, I don't know,

1:20:23

maybe something that you would get at like a

1:20:26

regional gas station that has like a

1:20:28

weird mascot. Like what's the donut man

1:20:30

mixed with like something like that? This

1:20:33

is my version of reflay,

1:20:35

flavoring a spirit guardian or,

1:20:38

nice, nice, okay. It's

1:20:42

for the kids but I can't help but realize I'm

1:20:44

focusing on the wrong spell because I got rid of

1:20:46

the other one, because someone sucks. Instead

1:20:49

I'm just gonna clam her up

1:20:51

and then floating around me are

1:20:53

these same mascots and he

1:20:56

needs to make a wisdom saving throw. Oh I'm

1:20:58

sure he's super wise. He rolled a natural one.

1:21:01

Good god. Jesus.

1:21:07

Uh, that, oh, that is 20 radiant damage. Alright,

1:21:12

describe killing the giant. So

1:21:15

I'm kind of hustling up and

1:21:17

as I kind of get my

1:21:19

elbows up it's just enough for

1:21:21

my flipping around gas

1:21:23

station mascots to like enter

1:21:26

in through the ankle cut,

1:21:28

enter in through the tank cut. Oh

1:21:30

yeah. And they're just like bouncing around

1:21:32

inside of his flesh body as his

1:21:34

face is melting. Gross. And

1:21:36

by the time I get up there I'm like

1:21:39

ready to do something and he's already on the

1:21:41

ground. Who killed him? Okay.

1:21:45

Uh, do I see my

1:21:47

Riz, my, my Mojo, my you name

1:21:50

it. Yeah you see a satchel beside

1:21:52

him that you know kind of slips to

1:21:54

the ground and you all see a bunch

1:21:56

of unlabeled Mojo. I want to grab it

1:21:59

and shake it. it up like as

1:22:01

a joke let's just take whatever and see

1:22:03

what happens. No! All right Chuck

1:22:05

roll a die real quick. Okay there's

1:22:07

five of us on roll a d6

1:22:09

on a six on reroll uh

1:22:12

I've lost all my d6s and I'm gonna count the folks

1:22:14

in front of me on my window so you roll

1:22:16

I'll tell you who you get. Okay three. You got Celine,

1:22:19

Lady Celine. Thank god it's not my daughter for

1:22:21

some reason. All right whoa look at me look

1:22:23

at me. Jimmy go

1:22:25

ahead and take a drink and roll a die. Uh

1:22:28

three. Three you have

1:22:30

Chuck. Let's

1:22:32

go ahead uh squelch roll a six on a die. Well

1:22:36

five. Four five you

1:22:38

got squelch so you

1:22:40

are yourself. You

1:22:43

drank your own jizz. All

1:22:47

right Jennifer roll it. Four. Two

1:22:49

three you are now Rourke you've

1:22:51

got her essence and that makes

1:22:54

Rourke. Jimmy! Jimmy! Jimmy! You got the Jimmy

1:22:56

Juice. Jimmy Juice sounds good. So Rourke's got

1:22:58

Jimmy Juice and uh yeah that's how it

1:23:00

all ended up so you guys have all

1:23:02

those personalities inside who knows what the hell

1:23:04

that means. That could be a that

1:23:07

could be a future thing that we do. What

1:23:09

do we do at that point? Yeah and looking

1:23:11

around inside this fortress the pumping there's

1:23:13

a bunch of oil pumps inside here and

1:23:16

so you guys have conquered this you

1:23:18

own this fortress you got your own

1:23:20

safari you can do your own guzzling

1:23:23

and you're good to go. Oil pump. I

1:23:25

want to visit this this

1:23:27

story. I agree actually I

1:23:29

do want to visit this again and I think we should. I

1:23:31

think it'd be fun to like literally just pick up here and

1:23:33

be like what's the next thing. Yeah I agree with you. Because

1:23:35

I think I like when you

1:23:38

play a different version of your same character

1:23:40

like what would happen if your character got

1:23:42

put in a different situation. And then we

1:23:44

do a multiverse story. What if? Well we

1:23:46

don't have to do a multiverse you don't have to do a

1:23:48

multiverse. Crisis on infinite drunk rose. There's

1:23:52

a Chinese BL that I forget the name of that

1:23:54

like every episode is just like a different like

1:23:57

universe of the same characters. It's very

1:23:59

interesting. Anyway, so we're a

1:24:01

little over time, but I believe Bachman

1:24:03

is the next slot.

1:24:07

So we don't give a shit

1:24:09

at all. So we can just keep going

1:24:11

for 10 hours. Well, technically it's 15 after.

1:24:13

I think there's like buffers, 15 minutes after.

1:24:15

Oh, it's a little buffer. Okay. Yeah, yeah,

1:24:18

yeah. So we're good. Thank you so much,

1:24:20

David, for doing all this work. Love

1:24:22

this world. David, excellent

1:24:25

job. It's many squirrels

1:24:27

to wrangle together. Yeah. Thank you.

1:24:29

Oh, sorry. I would say it's just

1:24:31

kind of funny how well our characters actually fit. Yeah,

1:24:36

it was just like, like most of

1:24:38

us was kind of us, but like a little

1:24:40

different flavor of it. It

1:24:42

works. Hey, what do you look like? Roark? The

1:24:44

same. Yeah. But

1:24:46

that makes sense though. I think it's not a

1:24:48

negative comment. It's more of a hell yeah. Oh

1:24:50

yeah. Yeah. That's not a negative. Everyone's true to their

1:24:53

character. Exactly. A

1:24:56

devil bunny needs a winner goes to

1:24:58

blah, blah, blah, blah, Jim. Congrats,

1:25:02

Jim. Because I

1:25:04

think that's a donor prize. So that's

1:25:06

probably not their handle. Right. I

1:25:08

assume real quick. If we hit $4,000, I'm

1:25:10

going to stick this knife in this toaster.

1:25:12

Oh, we're way over $4,000. Dude,

1:25:16

no shit, Bachman for a

1:25:18

second. I

1:25:21

was like, Oh no, he thinks money's digital. We're

1:25:26

at $3,000. Because

1:25:28

I thought that. Not that I think that you

1:25:30

thought that, but I thought that. I drew a

1:25:32

standard money in one hour before that. You

1:25:36

know what's weird is when daylight savings time

1:25:39

happens and you get an extra hundred dollars.

1:25:42

Yeah. Radical.

1:25:45

Well, we have many, many,

1:25:47

many more fine things coming up.

1:25:50

Bachman explicitly, what is the next three

1:25:52

hours going to look like? We are

1:25:54

going to be playing, we're

1:25:56

going to be playing a bunch of like fucked up

1:25:58

and weird fighting games. I got it. Jack

1:26:00

of Chan fighting game. We

1:26:04

got a bunch of them. Most of them I can't pronounce. That's

1:26:06

why I just keep saying fighting game over and over again. Just

1:26:08

like, don't worry about it. Just shut up for it. I was

1:26:10

like, I was going to play Street Fighter 2 Turbo. It's

1:26:13

like usually like Japanese games, right? Yeah,

1:26:15

yeah, there's a lot of that. There's one that

1:26:17

one of them, like I'm not even going to

1:26:19

try and pronounce it, but the title like slowly

1:26:21

transitions from Japanese into German in such a way

1:26:23

that you feel like you're having a stroke reading

1:26:25

it. Hell yeah. That's that's an

1:26:27

Evangelion experience. That's a good shit. Yeah. Yeah. It's

1:26:30

going to be great. All right. Well, I will

1:26:32

see you all in six hours. Oh,

1:26:35

my gosh. Thank you so much to

1:26:37

a Bachman.

1:26:39

And who's with you June?

1:26:41

I mean, Josh. Yes, two

1:26:43

separate Josh's bird. Josh and

1:26:46

Josh. We do. Yeah, we

1:26:48

really have so many. As

1:26:52

I've said, my Jojo stand is

1:26:54

Joshua to you. Yes. And it's

1:26:56

every single Josh in the community.

1:26:59

And everyone's like, oh, what, what, what? There's

1:27:01

some bad ones. Especially the bad part of

1:27:03

it. I may all be

1:27:05

there as well. Nice. Oh, yeah. Don't forget

1:27:07

everyone. Stop export upload. OK. All

1:27:09

right. Bye. Oh, should I hit record? You

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