Episode Transcript
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0:30
If you haven't been to one of these before,
0:33
they usually get a little wild. And
0:35
this is David. Hi! This is
0:37
our editor, producer
0:39
extraordinaire. I just kind of stumbled into
0:41
this room and I'm just gonna hang out. Time.
0:46
The passing of time. Warring
0:49
tribes of long ago, forgotten
0:51
through the years. Balming
0:53
out every speck of the entire
0:56
planet. Leaving no trace
0:58
of visible life. Ghazalene
1:00
is a rarity, highly
1:03
sought after. It fuels
1:05
the rising new civilization. So
1:09
I'm playing Jimmy
1:12
Wamprat-Ritmo. I am
1:14
playing a human
1:17
named Squelch-Enema. I
1:20
am Rourke the Sausage. I'm
1:22
playing Chuck Wagon. So I'm playing
1:24
the Lady Celine. You
1:27
can feel your skins sinking in.
1:30
You can feel wrinkles coming as your
1:32
life force is draining out of you.
1:34
Not my beautiful face. I kill myself. I
1:36
would rather die than become old and ugly.
1:40
Not worth it. And
1:42
you see liquid pouring into
1:44
these five different vials. You
1:47
surmise it's probably each of
1:49
your essences being taken away.
1:51
On his leather straps, he's got hue,
1:53
mungas, written across one of the straps.
1:57
And you see he picks up all of the vials
1:59
off that table. cable and
2:01
throws them into a bag that he's
2:03
carrying. Be careful. Bro, that's
2:05
my vibe. That's my mojo. I gotta
2:07
get my mojo back. And
2:09
then he walks away. Alright, you know
2:12
for a fact that you gotta get this stuff back.
2:14
You guys gotta get this, you gotta get those vials,
2:16
you gotta get those stuff injected or drank or
2:19
butt chugged. Get them back as
2:21
quick as you can because you guys, it's
2:23
gonna kill you. You guys gotta shove these
2:25
up my ass. They sucked too hard. And
2:27
you can see down below a vehicle you
2:29
hear a curse driving off into
2:32
the distance, heading away. Everyone,
2:34
this is the scene we have. The
2:37
car is tearing across the desert in a
2:39
chase heading after them. We have
2:41
squelch in the lead with the hearse. We
2:44
have the cyber truck, I think that's being
2:46
driven by Chuck. And
2:48
then the third car was the
2:51
convertible and that is being driven by Roar.
2:55
You turn and look and there's been
2:57
worm signs and Jimmy is riding a
2:59
worm. It's weird that the exhaust where
3:01
the flame comes out is inside the cabin of the
3:03
hearse. But here we are.
3:05
Like a walled scrap metal going all the
3:07
way around this fortress. And then you see
3:09
a bunch of like cylindrical towers inside the
3:12
fortress and the name of the fortress is
3:14
the phallic fortress. And I want to
3:16
try to like get you guys to pull over. Okay, well
3:18
I guess. Behind that doom. What
3:20
does your paradise look like? I bet it looks a lot like your hell. Absurd
3:22
Ventures presents the original audio fiction series A
3:24
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3:27
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3:43
something incredible here. My father. My father
3:46
and the awful thing he meant. He
3:48
meant it. It was amazing. The whole
3:51
thing's better face than. I haven't seen
3:53
whatever is watching me. I swear I sense
3:55
it. And it's not a data miner or
3:57
a pattern hunter either. It's watching me. No
3:59
matter what. how far I run, I
4:01
will see it again. It's everywhere.
4:04
I know you're trying to run away from me. I
4:10
like to remember how I used to think I
4:12
was two days old and I like to
4:14
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4:16
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6:25
I've heard bad places about this. It's the
6:27
phallic pup palace. You never
6:29
want to go there, but if
6:31
we go there with a plan, I
6:34
think we'll be okay. I think we gotta go
6:36
to classic Chewbacca. We gotta chain
6:39
up some of us to be like, hey
6:42
weirdos, if
6:45
you two gals chain up these hot meat
6:48
boys here. Yeah, I was gonna say, I think
6:50
it definitely makes sense for me to not be chained
6:52
up. I could be chained up as
6:55
a pretend.
6:57
Well, it's a phallic place, so I
7:00
kind of, you know, you
7:02
know, you guys could pretend that you
7:04
found us and you beat us up
7:06
and now you're gonna sell us to these rascals.
7:09
And that's what happens at this place?
7:12
Is that appropriate? You're my dad. Well,
7:14
what do you think that, I know they're pumping
7:16
in there, but what do you think they're pumping?
7:18
It might be iron. Could it be iron? Because
7:20
if it's iron, I'm very interested. It could be
7:22
iron. It could be iron. Okay.
7:26
Well, I'm assuming they're pumping the
7:28
essence there. That's where they're at.
7:30
I think it's gotta be iron, because I've
7:32
never heard the term pumping essence. Two 50-50
7:34
shots. It's
7:37
soul pumps. Okay,
7:39
well you're the bit, you're you're the most
7:41
pumped out of all of us. Jimmy is
7:43
doing, Jimmy is doing push-up. I volunteer
7:46
as a slave, that's for sure. A Chewbacca,
7:50
sorry. Yeah, get it right. I
7:53
cannot possibly have my father as
7:55
a slave. Chewbacca. So I would
7:57
like to be whatever is not
8:00
associated with him. A
8:03
Han Solo. You can hold the... yeah, it's
8:06
like... You can have... I mean, if it
8:08
makes you more comfortable, you can hold the
8:10
leash for these other guys. Wait. Okay, no,
8:12
that's fine. Yeah, yeah, that's fine. You're Princess
8:15
Leia at this point, because... I
8:17
just don't want to hold my father's leash, if
8:20
that makes sense. That's fair. No, I... I'll get
8:22
that on all fours and just start barking. I...
8:25
I... I'll get your leash. Thanks... thanks,
8:27
girl. Thanks, girl. I
8:30
didn't mean that in the meme way that we say it
8:32
here. I was like, that's my girl. Like, just... oh,
8:34
okay. I think you're saying like... Alright, let's
8:36
just move on before things are weird.
8:38
Okay, alright, so... So some of you
8:40
are... are leashed and some are not.
8:42
Yes, yes, yes. We mess up the
8:44
old, uh, slave thing, and it's quite...
8:46
it's quite sensual. I
8:49
think that's why I was wearing
8:51
certain, um, you know, communities.
8:54
Well, I mean, in the fucking Mad... New Mad
8:57
Max movie, there's the... the bulletman who has his
8:59
nipples out, and he's rubbing them. What? He's rubbing
9:01
those nipples. Listen, you gotta get your thrills. I
9:03
do not remember that part. You don't remember? That
9:05
part whipped. You gotta get your thrills where you
9:08
can. Okay, to be fair... Yeah,
9:10
I only watch Mad Max whenever it came out. I feel
9:12
like I should rewatch it. That's bait. So,
9:15
uh, you're... you all approach the, uh,
9:18
front of this... this fortress location as
9:20
you... Uncuff me! Don't pump me! What?
9:23
I'm not listening. I'm not listening to
9:25
my father. Silence! You all
9:27
make it up to the front, and you can see
9:29
this... There's guards standing up on some sort of walkways
9:31
over the top. You can see some with, like, classic
9:34
bow and arrows. You see some that, uh... There's,
9:36
like, a flamethrower person up there. Hell yeah. Off
9:39
to one side. There's, like, looks like, uh, you
9:41
know, some sort of gun over to another side.
9:43
And then there's a... A spear made out of
9:45
rebar. Yes. And then you see
9:47
a couple of... of folks standing in front
9:50
of the doorway. And the doorway to this
9:52
fortress, you can tell, is just a... a school
9:54
bus that's just parked in front of it, and
9:57
it's just got plate armor there, and they just would drive it
9:59
out of the way. way back to the side so
10:01
you can get in and out. So you see a
10:03
couple of guards, they poke their
10:05
heads out to the some of the windows
10:07
of the school bus where their armor is
10:09
not there and they yell out to you
10:11
all, hey strangers why are you approaching? We
10:14
as you can see here we have
10:16
some potential people
10:19
who would be interested in for
10:21
the purposes of this place. Don't
10:24
pump me. I love to pump. You're
10:26
gonna get pumped. You're gonna get
10:28
pumped. Yeah we brought them here
10:30
to get pumped. That's why. I
10:32
heard that this was a place
10:34
to get pumped. Is that correct? Well I
10:37
mean yeah we do we there's a lot
10:39
of yes yes this is a place where
10:41
that does occur. Now where
10:43
can I is there a place I can
10:45
park my huge sandworm and
10:48
this place that we we pump it's
10:51
it's big. Yeah okay well
10:53
this pickup line has worked
10:55
for me before I will
10:57
say that. We'll
11:00
get to that we'll get to the sandworm which
11:03
I'm very intrigued about but first things first Miss
11:06
tattooed lady can you can you uh
11:08
go that would be the lady yeah
11:10
oh lady Celine okay can you give
11:12
me uh you know give me a
11:14
persuasion or maybe deceive me if you
11:16
could. Absolutely or like what can
11:18
I do an intimidation in that like my
11:20
vibes are so like I know what's going
11:23
on and I have like a mission. Hell
11:25
yeah you can intimidate me. That
11:27
was a fourteen something. Actually
11:30
I think I think you all should move on
11:32
because if you don't uh my buddy up here
11:34
is gonna torch you with this
11:36
flamethrower and then we got
11:38
an arrow here and then I got a gun
11:40
over on this side so. Oh yeah boom boom
11:43
Mr. Roop no problem no worries. Okay move
11:45
along get out of here. Move
11:47
along scoop. Right like you're so
11:50
good. Like not to the gate.
11:52
I don't want to get pumped. No no you can't come in.
11:54
Oh. I was really
11:56
looking forward to get pumped. Why not? You
11:59
better let us in. This is equivalent
12:01
to a door being locked in
12:03
a campaign. The guy said, nah, I'm good.
12:07
So gang, Celine failed her role. What
12:09
do we do now? Can I
12:11
stealth through this door? Yeah,
12:13
the blazing fucking sun with 30 guys.
12:15
There we go. That's good. Yeah,
12:18
but I got really good stealth, so you tell me how it works.
12:20
That's true. I mean, we can
12:22
be like making a, kicking up a fuss while you
12:24
do this, you know? Ooh, that's a great point. Okay,
12:26
okay. If you want to like whisper to
12:29
the boys. Okay, you start arguing. You start
12:31
arguing. Yeah. Yeah, I'm
12:33
like, I don't think that
12:35
my mistress would be happy
12:37
to hear that you denied
12:40
me access. This is
12:42
on official OT business. I'm
12:45
never getting pumped. And then I push Celine to the
12:47
ground, or I try to. And then I try to
12:49
like run away, but I know I
12:51
have to sell it. So I like run around kind of
12:53
in a circle. And I kick up a lot of sand.
12:56
I'm like a horse or a jet ski in
12:59
the water, but instead of water, it's sand. Or
13:01
like a hamster having a little dirt bag. Or
13:03
chinchilla. Or, I think chinchilla is what I meant.
13:05
What I've held squelch to do with that. 23
13:07
to stealth. All right, 23 to stealth. All right,
13:10
they are so focused telling these morons, just go,
13:12
leave. You're about to get killed here. Stop. You're
13:15
annoying. You're able to stealth away.
13:18
And give me
13:20
a perception check. Natural 20. Geez, squelch
13:23
to natural 20. You are, when you're stealthing away,
13:25
you kind of get yourself out of their view
13:27
next to the bus. And
13:30
you can tell there's a loose plate of
13:32
armor there below. So you can actually
13:34
slither in underneath the bus, underneath
13:37
the underside if you'd like to. Yeah, no, I'd
13:39
like to. All right. Yep. You're able to get
13:41
under the bus and you don't see any other
13:44
footprints or foot feet around out the other side
13:46
of the bus. Sounds
13:48
like everyone's doing stuff away. Who
13:50
knows what? There's people above you.
13:52
Chaos, chaos, chaos. Yeah, yeah, they're
13:54
fighting. If you wanted to get yourself
13:56
up inside the bus, you probably could do that without being seen either.
13:58
Yeah. Yeah, well you could
14:01
there was a guy there was one of the
14:03
like people on overwatch above this thing right that
14:05
we had to Worry about correct. Yeah. Yeah, there's
14:07
there's two guys There's two people inside the bus
14:09
talking out the window the side windows to these
14:12
folks Uh-huh, and then you did see some folks
14:14
up above on the tops of the walls that
14:16
are all kind of paying attention We're gonna fucking die.
14:19
We're gonna die Yeah, I want to go up to the guy
14:21
that one of the guys that he gestured to like up on
14:23
top of the walls All right, cool.
14:25
I'll let you choose with that great stealth
14:27
role You've got flamethrower
14:30
you've got a gun of some kind
14:32
machine gun and then you've got bow
14:34
and arrow Probably
14:37
Does the flamethrower guy have a tank on him?
14:39
Oh, it's there's a tank there
14:41
beside him. This is all turret turret mounted stuff
14:45
Shit, okay, but like there is a tank. Yeah, I
14:47
don't care if it's on him. Okay, I go for
14:49
the machine gun Okay, cool.
14:51
Okay, go ahead and give me a a Athletics
14:55
or acrobatics if you're gonna
14:57
do something tricky big red barrel of
14:59
ammo. Ooh Acrobatics
15:02
is plus six. So 23 again. All
15:04
right. Yeah. Yeah, you have no problem
15:06
scampering up to the wall You're behind
15:08
this this machine gun
15:11
person Kelly we cut to the outside
15:14
You guys are arguing anything you kind
15:17
of see. Mm-hmm squelch pop up behind this
15:19
person Is there anything
15:21
anyone wants to do? Before
15:23
something occurs. Can I do a perception check
15:25
to see which of the people on the
15:27
wall or be like, all right Enough
15:30
of this horse play. Yeah, give me that
15:32
it's roughly I'm gonna say around 1414
15:38
okay with that you there's enough to see
15:40
it looks like the one with the flamethrower
15:43
is Getting ready
15:45
to use it, but I can
15:47
see that well, I can see this quilches there.
15:49
Yes, so I guess
15:52
Regardless, I want to I'm
15:55
gonna punch Celine Sorry,
16:01
just to clarify, there's people up on the top of
16:03
the wall as well. Yeah, yes. There
16:05
are three people up on top of the wall and there
16:07
are two people inside this bus talking to you so a
16:09
total of five. Well four people now. Yeah. How
16:12
close are people on top of the wall to each
16:14
other? We have two that are close to each other
16:17
on the side. Do not fireball the people on top
16:19
of the wall. I'm up there. Every hair versus every
16:21
nail. Not all of them are. I'm not. I'm
16:25
actually trying to cast darkness on them so they can't see anything.
16:27
So on the left, from your
16:29
perspective, Lady Celine, on the
16:31
left-hand side, you see two people.
16:34
There's a flamethrower person and the
16:36
bow and arrow person. On the
16:38
right-hand side, we see the machine
16:40
gun person and
16:43
squelch. Okay. So
16:45
the people on the left are like fairly
16:47
close within 15 feet of each other? Yes.
16:50
Okay. Yeah, I would like to cast
16:53
whatever, whenever you're about to do what you're going to do,
16:55
I can also cast your hair at the same time. As
16:57
my face is flowing to your face to make it, I'm
16:59
making a distraction. Yeah. Yeah. Right.
17:02
Right. So
17:05
you're like speaking spooky do in Latin darkness and then
17:07
like whoop a fall. Yeah. Yeah.
17:10
I'm like, my hands are like out and I'm like staring
17:12
up at the sky. And David, I work stiff. I'll
17:14
tell you, it's going to hurt, but not too bad.
17:17
I don't like this. All right. I
17:19
love it. I would like to cast darkness on
17:21
those two, those two guys. So you
17:23
do successfully cast darkness on those
17:25
two guys. So what does
17:27
that look like? That's my ring finger on my left hand. Hell yeah. Every
17:30
one of my fingers has a different spell. Oh, that's fun. I've
17:32
decided. Fing, fang, fum. Yeah. Nice.
17:36
Okay. Excellent. Okay, let's go ahead and jump
17:38
into initiative time now because they know something's
17:41
up. Oh shit. Well, what's up?
17:43
We're just like little guys. Oh, God damn it. What
17:45
am I, Jennifer? I rolled a one. I rolled good
17:47
this time. Oh, I guess like three.
17:49
My initiative is a 22 or 21. Wow. Yeah,
17:52
I rolled really good that time. That
17:56
is pretty good. I changed my dice. I went to
17:58
a different dice and it's treating me better. Now my
18:00
dice that you touched is bad. Yeah, I did cursor dice.
18:02
Sorry about that. The
18:04
23 is pretty good. I got a 26. God
18:07
damn, he hates you. I
18:10
like for my comrades to succeed. I
18:13
rolled a natural 20? Shut
18:15
the f- What the hell? I hate you
18:17
guys. And I got a 23. Four.
18:21
I also rolled a natural one.
18:23
Oh my god. Well, the highs
18:26
and lows of our rolls. I rolled a
18:28
natural 20. Stop
18:30
guys. You got a one.
18:32
Stop bragging. Anchors, anchors,
18:34
anchors. In this order
18:36
we've got Squelch. You are up first, which
18:39
is perfect. So I take it this
18:41
guy's already got his hand on the gun? Yeah,
18:43
he's casually. Nothing, he's not reacting yet. He
18:45
doesn't have his finger on the trigger or
18:47
anything. Okay, I want to stab him. Okay.
18:51
And they don't see you, you got advantage. That's
18:54
a good thing. So
18:56
20 to hit? Yeah, that's a
18:59
hit. Let's see.
19:01
Ooh, nice, nice. There's that.
19:04
So it's gonna be 18 damage. That
19:07
is a pretty darn heavy hit. And let
19:09
me describe this person just for everyone. This
19:11
person that you are attacking, you see a
19:13
name tag on the back because I gotta
19:15
use the names. This one here,
19:18
the name tag says, Tickles the Tomboy.
19:20
What are these names from? From
19:22
his mother. Exactly,
19:24
from their mother, yeah. Tickles the Tomboy.
19:27
A rifle flying across their back and
19:29
they're of course handling the big
19:31
machine gun. You just stab right
19:34
into Tickles. Tickles still standing,
19:36
but that was quite a heavy hit. So
19:39
well done. Okay, well I got a
19:41
second attack though. Then do it. 18
19:44
to hit? Yeah, that's a hit. Another 7 damage?
19:46
Yeah, okay. Describe
19:49
what it looks like killing Tickles the Tomboy.
19:52
I've got these things that are
19:54
attached to both of my hands.
19:56
They're like metal gauntlets with a
19:58
tube that's right above the fist.
20:00
Okay, and when I put my
20:02
hands into somebody's back I'm
20:05
pulling a trigger inside the gauntlet and
20:07
it's like it's not really a range thing
20:09
But it just like pneumatically just injects a
20:11
piece a syringe into their bodies How many
20:13
pneumatic tubes are there's at one for fingi
20:15
or one for hand? I well, it's multiple.
20:17
I'm only firing one at a time, but
20:19
okay so that I don't have to constantly
20:21
reload So what they get injected do they
20:23
just collapse? Yeah, I
20:25
mean I think it's it's mostly it's
20:28
it's more like it's more like the junk the
20:30
junk cannon or whatever the fall I think it's
20:32
not that these are like poisoning or anything. Yeah,
20:34
but it's just Syringes are what
20:37
I had an abundance up. So they're just
20:39
ripping through. Okay. Nice. All right, cool. That's
20:41
it for It's not
20:43
it. That's not it for squelch. I got
20:45
an axe and surge continue squelch Also the
20:47
way you're like casually just I had a
20:49
fuck ton of syringes. Yeah, I mean where
20:51
I Love it. It's
20:53
glorious. I got an action surge. You know,
20:56
I got an action surge Holy
20:58
and we can take a long rest
21:00
after this I get that back, right? Yeah Yeah,
21:02
so I would like to grab onto this machine
21:04
gun. Yes, and it's it's
21:07
so there's like Darkness
21:09
was cast on the other people on the wall. Yeah
21:11
Yes you see the other people in the walls just
21:13
between you and then you see the top of a
21:15
school bus and then Across the
21:17
school bus the other side of the other wall
21:19
and that's where you see darkness Because
21:22
this is it now it's gonna be because it's darkness It's
21:24
gonna be a lot harder to hit this fuel tank But
21:26
that's what I would like to go towards a possible that
21:28
I just do a sweeping motion with
21:30
this Gatling gun. Oh, yeah Yeah, absolutely. Yeah.
21:32
Yeah. I mean just get really close to
21:34
the fuel tank as you shoot it so
21:36
you can see it It's
21:39
like an explode, but this is a turret.
21:41
It's a mounted turret. How do I get close to it? You've
21:44
seen halo. Ah Yeah
21:48
So yeah, I do that try and hit the fuel tank
21:50
half speed Alright, so you just sweep
21:52
across blasting away. Alright, just go ahead and give me a
21:54
straight-up attack. Just a range attack. Okay 16
21:58
plus 7 23. Alright, yeah,
22:01
it's definitely successful. You
22:03
sweep across and it's hard to
22:05
describe being in this magical post-apocalyptic
22:08
radioactive darkness. You
22:11
hear it before you actually see it,
22:13
but you hear a loud kaboom and
22:16
nothing is there, but then outside of the edges
22:18
of the edge of the darkness you see edges
22:20
of flame coming out. So just kind of like
22:23
the whole middle of that explosion is missing. It's
22:25
kind of weird and you hear something like ow!
22:28
Hahaha! For that
22:30
I want to have you roll damage and let's
22:32
just base this off of Celine. How many
22:34
dice do you roll for your third level
22:36
fireball? Right third level fireball. That is 8d6.
22:41
Can you give us an 8d6 roll there? Absolutely.
22:43
No, let's have Squelch do it so he can
22:45
get the satisfaction of the explosion. We
22:48
always just Google it, but yeah, you could just
22:51
Google it. 86. But to give
22:53
him the joy. Mm-hmm. In
22:55
order to keep my hands occupied I'm practicing
22:58
shuffling my commander decks and
23:01
my new deck, which is a Fallout one by
23:03
the way. I'm holding nothing. I've drawn straight
23:05
ass every single thing. Oh really? 22
23:09
damage. Alright 22 damage. Okay. Well, I can
23:11
I can share with you that they both
23:13
took full damage on that. Well done. You
23:16
hear from inside there, what the hell? Well,
23:21
before I move on I'm so sorry I
23:23
almost said let's move on but Squelch anything
23:25
else? No, no, that's it. All right,
23:27
cool. Then next up is
23:30
Jimmy. You're up. So
23:32
you got like these two guys faces
23:34
in the windows in front of you at the bus.
23:37
Mm-hmm. This shit happening up on top of the walls
23:39
and you know,
23:41
you did see where where
23:43
you know the loose metal was where you saw
23:45
Squelch go slithering through earlier. That's what you got
23:48
in front of you. Okay, and I
23:51
probably can't get in through the windows
23:53
right there like up above they're like
23:55
cub off the ground. Not with that attitude.
23:59
You could probably do that. Do it with a bit
24:01
of a, if you did like an athletics check to
24:03
kind of jump up to it because you know
24:05
with your skills you could definitely jump up high
24:07
enough to get a grip on it but you're going
24:09
to be going straight through people. I would like to
24:11
give them a Bardic inspiration
24:14
please and thank you. Alright.
24:16
Yeah then Jimmy is just going to try to
24:19
launch himself through the bus window
24:21
with an athletics check. Go
24:24
for it. Like a freaking cannonball. And
24:26
you can add a G8 if you need it. You're
24:29
going to need it. 14,
24:32
I'll add the D8. You
24:38
just go jumping like into a
24:40
cannonball or whatever. You're high
24:42
enough and you just kind of plow into
24:44
the person who's there
24:46
and he gets pushed back five feet and suddenly
24:48
you are inside the bus and you've got this
24:51
surprise guy right in front of you and a
24:53
guy to your right inside this
24:55
bus. None of the chairs are there. It's
24:57
all just wide open garbage. It's
24:59
torn up chairs and all. So
25:01
that is where you're at. Your movement is done. What
25:04
would you like to do? Don't forget you get two attacks. Yeah
25:07
I'm going to swing my freaking
25:09
sword at one of the guys. Alright
25:12
standing in front of you is Thrasher.
25:14
Alright Thrasher. Do this. This
25:18
guy has got a very interesting weapon. He's got
25:20
a skateboard on a fixed to a pole and
25:23
it looks a bit like an axe. I like
25:25
that. Okay. 17
25:29
is definitely enough to hit that guy. Alright
25:31
that's going to be 12 damage. Alright.
25:33
And then I'm going to hit him again.
25:36
Okay. It's a
25:38
vision skateboard for those from the 80s. Oh
25:42
sick. What? Uh 16 this time. 16 is
25:44
a hit. Good
25:46
job Michael. I'm proud of you. And that is 11 damage. 11
25:48
damage. Wow. Looking
25:50
good. Thrasher's getting thrashed. Slash em
25:53
up. And uh. You're going to get
25:55
a new one. Yeah. We'll see you
25:57
next time. Bye. I'm
26:00
just screaming like ahhhhh!
26:05
You're screaming so loud you've been muted. Okay,
26:09
that takes care of Jimmy. Well,
26:11
I don't want to presume anything. Is
26:14
that it? You
26:16
know what, I'm going to hold on
26:18
to my action surge, so I'm good
26:20
for now. Yeah. Are you just a
26:22
straight up fighter? Yeah. Okay,
26:26
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30:01
Lady Celine, you are up. So
30:04
I put darkness on the two
30:07
guys up on the wall. What's going on with
30:09
them right now? Are they just like, what? Yeah,
30:12
you can hear screaming in there and like
30:14
ouchy because they got burned. But
30:18
you didn't see any bodies fall out of there. So
30:20
because the question is, so I need concentration
30:22
to keep up the darkness on them. So
30:24
I don't know if that's better to keep
30:26
them like kind of confused and out of
30:28
the situation or do something. And when
30:30
you cast it, the darkness, just for
30:32
clarification, did you cast it on anything?
30:35
Like where is it actually cast upon?
30:37
Yeah. So I guess how close are they to each
30:39
other? They were like within like 10 feet from
30:41
each other side by side. Okay.
30:44
So let's say that I cast it specifically
30:46
on what were there two weapons against? There
30:48
was a bow and arrow and then from
30:50
your perspective on that side of the wall. Yeah.
30:53
The one on the right had the bow and arrow. The one on the
30:55
left had the flamethrower, which is not functional.
30:58
Let's say that I actually cast
31:00
the darkness on the one holding
31:02
the flamethrower because that one feels more
31:05
dangerous. Sweet. Okay. So
31:07
it's actually on them. Beautiful. Yeah. It's
31:10
actually on that guy. And the bow and
31:12
arrow guy is just there. Yeah. Being
31:15
absorbed by it because like I could have
31:17
cast it on like a, you know, a
31:20
parapet. But I
31:22
want the flamethrower guy to be taken
31:25
out. Yeah. That makes sense.
31:27
So I'll keep that. I guess there's not really
31:29
anything I can... Maybe I just try
31:31
to like sneak forward at this point and keep it
31:33
on that. Yeah. And
31:35
the chaos and the dirt that has been picked
31:37
up. Yeah. The sand. I
31:40
would like to move forward closer to the bus. Okay. You
31:42
can get right up next to the bus. And I imagine with
31:44
your concentration, you're going to have to keep eye contact with it.
31:46
Yeah. Yeah. So
31:48
I'm like scooting and staring at them to keep them. Yeah.
31:51
And it's like, because I figured like once we get through the bus zone, then
31:53
we can take the darkness off.
31:56
And well, more like I was
31:59
thinking like she's like... Bolded someone
32:01
or another fireball or something like that.
32:03
Yeah Yeah,
32:05
okay. And now we're gonna go ahead thrasher
32:07
takes a swing at Jimmy with
32:09
his axe Skateboard we
32:12
have a 15 versus AC that is
32:14
not gonna that is a bash
32:17
away with my shield. No, thanks Oh,
32:19
yeah. All right He swings at you
32:21
and he's got a spiked gauntlet hand So
32:23
he let let's go the of
32:25
the weapon with one hand one hand and swings
32:27
at you with this spike gauntlet hand Gosh,
32:31
I rolled a six the first time I rolled a
32:33
one Second time so he
32:35
is not he is not doing well.
32:37
He's staying put though. That is thrasher
32:39
All right. Next up next to thrasher
32:42
is war vet. Oh, yeah and war
32:44
vet. He's uh, interesting He's got a
32:46
hockey stick and then he's got like
32:48
a bandolier of like these PVC pipe
32:50
with wicks on them as well Oh
32:52
around the shit So first thing he
32:55
does he sends you standing next to
32:57
next to you He is going to
32:59
just swing his hockey stick, which is
33:01
a bit jagged and broken and it looks pointy as
33:03
well So let's see if he can do anything She
33:07
went maybe we got ourselves an attack of 19
33:10
versus your AC So close
33:13
but not quite good enough. Are you
33:15
kidding? Oh, that's right.
33:17
You'd have armor before. Okay. I
33:19
got I'm full of armor More armored
33:22
Damn awesome. I'm feeling good about this one. We got
33:25
a 25 versus AC. Nope. Yeah,
33:27
that's gonna hit. Okay All right, you're going
33:29
to take a total of 10 damage slashing
33:31
like this this hockey stick checks you
33:33
Thank you for telling me the type.
33:37
I know it's very important. Fuckman hates it. All right,
33:39
cool That takes care of our war vets turn. All
33:42
right, next up we had a
33:44
fuck boy Let me or
33:48
Running down the wall, you know
33:50
from behind where screech squelch
33:53
behind Coming
33:56
your direction leather
33:58
clad his name is Fuckboy
34:00
Fred. He comes running and he's
34:02
got an iron on a chain and this is yes
34:04
This is a clothing iron and it's on a chain
34:07
on a pole But then he's also got a bow
34:09
so he comes to a stop about 20 feet away
34:11
from Squelch and
34:13
takes aim with this bow and fires
34:15
this bow at squelch. We
34:18
have a roll of four I'm not even I'm not even
34:20
gonna add it So
34:22
he cusses pulls another arrow out and
34:24
takes another shot and I rolled
34:26
a three what the hell David
34:29
you're doing so good. Take inspiration
34:31
not for this role, but give
34:34
yourself inspiration. All right No,
34:37
don't give him that power Celine. I
34:39
need you to make a intelligence saving role,
34:41
please That's
34:53
pretty good. All right So
34:56
everyone kind of hears something but it's all garbles
34:59
you don't really hear it but Celine you actually
35:01
hear Drop the darkness
35:04
And you drop the darkness. Fuck. It's
35:06
just like I'm just like yeah, and
35:08
it goes yeah the experience You
35:12
learned back in the OT. Yeah, this is
35:14
what they did when they taught you use
35:16
the voice. Oh my god You just been
35:18
voiced. Oh And you don't
35:20
know where it's coming from me to target Wow I
35:23
hate this you got voice All
35:27
right, so the darkness just drops and you see some
35:29
badly burns people up there But they're still alive and
35:32
they're pissed and that is it
35:34
for that person and now we're on to work
35:37
Okay, I would like
35:39
to give Arctic
35:42
inspiration to screech
35:46
squelch squelch squelch
35:49
And then I would like to
35:52
cast let's just do a vicious
35:54
mockery on The
35:56
one that is within 60 feet of me
35:58
that has taken the most damage Alright, so
36:00
the the one that's within 60 feet of you taking
36:02
the most damage you can see through the window
36:05
Definitely is Thrasher. Okay, and
36:07
what does Thrasher look like Thrasher
36:09
looks like a 1980s
36:12
skater with their vision skateboard, you
36:14
know bad mohawk. Oh, yeah and
36:17
Skateboard on an axe weapon. Do they
36:19
have a Thrasher shirt? Mmm.
36:21
Yeah, it's a bit old and faded and that's how they got
36:23
their name Yeah, so anyone just everyone
36:26
could just call them Thrashers. Hey, my name's Lacoste
36:31
What do Thrashers parents think about their
36:33
path in life? Hmm Thrasher killed
36:35
them. So They
36:38
probably don't agree with it. Okay, I
36:40
would like to use vicious mockery
36:42
on Thrasher and just really
36:45
lay into them how disappointed
36:48
that your parents are and that
36:51
you wear such Bad
36:55
clothing you're the type
36:57
of person that people think of whenever they
37:00
say fake skater No,
37:03
your favorite band is Avril Lavigne
37:06
you could never do the
37:10
things that a real skater does vicious
37:15
Eat eat ass a little
37:18
bitch Wisdom 15.
37:21
Holy cow. I got a negative one on that. All
37:23
right. Perfect. I love to hear that. We have 11.
37:25
Perfect I love it great Take
37:30
2d4 Psychic
37:32
damage. All right 2d4. Give it to me.
37:34
Oh, you want me to roll it? I
37:36
get that on her? Wow. Yeah, I'm sure
37:38
roll damage First time
37:41
for everything. I got 8 damage.
37:44
All right Thrasher. Ow His
37:46
pride is hurt and he's got
37:49
some tears coming down and he's like what
37:51
you mean my parents loved me He
37:54
has disadvantage on his next attack roll.
37:56
So sorry. Nice. He took damage
37:58
and He's so
38:00
sad he can't attack well.
38:03
Anything else? No. Methinks
38:05
that's all. Chuck! Okay, how many
38:08
bitches... So there's a couple... Are there
38:10
anyone still inside the bus or... Two
38:12
are inside the bus. We have Thrasher
38:14
and War Vet. And are
38:16
they tussling with... Jimmy.
38:19
Wombat. Jimmy's in there. Wombat! Wombat's
38:21
in there, yep. Okay, I
38:24
run up onto my pump king and
38:26
jump through the window. My
38:28
belly gets stuck, but due
38:32
to the force, it shoots
38:34
a spray of
38:37
glistening guzzling
38:40
from my pores. I need
38:42
both of them to take a Constitution
38:44
saving throw, because this is my version
38:46
of words. Words of radiance. It's kind of
38:48
the exact opposite of the implication, but here
38:50
we are. All right, so this is Thrasher
38:52
and War Vet. So what was
38:54
the save again? Constitution, 16. I
38:57
even told you I trust you so much. I'm
39:01
rolling great tonight. They both fail. I
39:03
hate this, Thrasher. Ah, piss off.
39:06
That is... That
39:09
is nine. Nine. Both of them take
39:11
nine, somehow radiant
39:14
damage, because I'm a
39:16
luxury. Phew, can afford. Nice.
39:18
Okay. And then I slip my girth through
39:20
with the added extra stuff. And then I
39:22
want to get in between both of them
39:24
so they don't game up on my good
39:27
friend, Willie the Wombat. That's
39:29
a nickname I'm working on. Yeah, you and Willie
39:31
are like back to back. Womprat, excuse me. That
39:33
is me. Womprat. I might just call you Willie
39:36
the Wombat. All right, well done.
39:38
We're now at the top of the round in
39:40
Squelch. You're up. Okay, what am I working with?
39:42
So you've got yourself a machine gun. You've killed
39:45
the guy that was with you right now. You have a clear
39:47
shot of two foes across the
39:49
top of the bus there. And you hear
39:51
some scuffling down below. Oh,
39:53
so there's not darkness there anymore? No, darkness
39:55
is gone. Okay. Yeah, let's
39:57
ranged attack with this machine gun. on
40:00
the two guys across the way. That's so
40:02
dangerous. All right, you got bow and arrow,
40:04
and you've got the non-functioning
40:07
flamethrower guy. So are
40:10
either of them on fire, or are they
40:12
just like... Yeah, definitely the flamethrower guy is
40:14
on fire. Okay, I'm gonna let the
40:16
fire take care of that guy, and I'll shoot at
40:18
the bow and arrow. Don't shoot, let him burn. You
40:20
hear the tank music from Left 4 Dead. Yeah, yeah.
40:23
When the doom music kicks in. Oh,
40:25
oh, oh, oh, oh. 13, you miss.
40:29
You fire. Let's
40:33
try it again. Plus... 6? 18? Yes,
40:37
you do hit with that. Okay, and
40:40
I forget, do I get to use my sneak attack for like either
40:42
one of the hits, or does it have to be that? With
40:45
everything, with the chaos going on, I would
40:47
let you do the sneak attack for the
40:49
first one. So do that first
40:51
one again. Wait, what do you
40:53
mean? Correction, I mean advantage. I'm gonna give
40:55
you advantage on your first attack, so the
40:57
one you missed previously, you get to attack
41:00
that guy again. Okay. And
41:02
yes, you do get sneak attack damage for the first
41:04
attack. Well, it's the weird thing is that I was
41:06
actually just the way that I do
41:08
it, just so that I know what's going on. I roll my
41:10
second attack first. So
41:13
that first one was actually my second attack. Oh,
41:15
okay. Is that real? No,
41:18
it's true, I do that. That's why I got 13 damage. You
41:22
roll your second attack.
41:24
Yeah, yeah, yeah. First.
41:27
If you don't have time, you debate.
41:29
Don't worry about it. All
41:31
right, so for me, take all that bullshit you
41:34
just said and just do one more attack. Hell
41:36
yeah. All right, here we go. All
41:41
right, 16 is the magic number, that hits. Eight.
41:46
Eight damage total, and then the first one was 13 damage, right?
41:48
Yeah. Okay, cool. All right,
41:50
describe what it looks like taking out
41:52
the bow person. Oh, I
41:54
mean, you've all seen somebody get killed by a Gatling gun.
41:56
Maybe it was. We've all seen it.
41:59
Yeah. Yeah with
42:01
I just read I read
42:03
this confetti goes falling down
42:05
to the ground. Well john
42:08
out in that it. Squelch.
42:11
Yeah. I can only action surge one
42:14
for longer than good And right? Cool
42:16
Well done squads. Jimmy you their you
42:18
gotta still get those two guys there
42:20
next year. I'm so then I thrashers
42:23
looking pretty bad. I look at Thrasher
42:25
and I go. Why? You
42:27
still nine days? And
42:30
I. Is
42:36
good. Twenty. Seven.
42:39
Wow, that's a hit and
42:41
then that's and be nine
42:43
slashing. You
42:46
know it's funny that is exactly assessing
42:48
the left. So good and give me
42:50
a me Knows description. Of
42:52
what it looks like taking out the thrasher
42:54
and I go I know just try to
42:57
do and I'll he asked his if. I
43:00
swing my my sword low in each
43:02
hostage have another way but as a
43:04
major and as a slice off Bolland
43:06
the seats ah haven't fucked up the
43:08
all he that sucks for him to
43:11
ham what does fuck is an alley.
43:13
And. All in all, in. All. My
43:16
glider. Universe!
43:18
Ah my car they you for not
43:20
say you don't know a bread is
43:22
earlier. I
43:25
ages goes landing on stamps and does.
43:27
His die of embarrassment pain so
43:29
I well done Thrasher is gone
43:32
and then for my second attack.
43:34
yeah ssssss Ira I'll yeah looks
43:36
like it's yeah. I'd say now
43:39
body is War that you're going
43:41
against war vets. I thank you
43:43
for your service and now die.
43:47
At at ah in that at
43:49
his I believe the magic Six
43:52
know it's not worth. Fourteen.
43:54
Let's see war that acts as a
43:56
myth. Oops. I couldn't bring myself to
43:58
do with. You
44:01
much respect that you must respect Pay.
44:03
You gotta dig deep. You gotta dig
44:05
deep. sigh And it's anything else Jimmy
44:07
Ah does give for Jimmy. Put a
44:09
saline Europe. Okay. So
44:12
we know there is a one person
44:14
up with the to get the bozos.
44:17
One person up there on fire her
44:19
mirror as one person inside the boss.
44:21
There's. An unknown. You. Just
44:24
got brain attacked a new just got
44:26
forced to do something. So. This
44:28
someone else or all. K
44:30
K. Do
44:33
anything about that. And and
44:35
and you are the only one that knows
44:37
about the other. I am your. As.
44:42
Everyone else. Know
44:44
Fox? Okay, Maybe
44:49
some perceive them. And
44:52
ideal at the perception check. This is like
44:55
look. Around for absolutely. Okay,
44:57
that is a twenty one. Or
45:00
twenty was the last gleaned. that is
45:02
amazing Lady Saline Looking around you scan
45:05
ah the the area nearby you ah
45:07
a look up on the walls you'll
45:09
look around for anything on laws and
45:12
any. Don't see anything there but something
45:14
is a move around the corner of
45:16
your i are you look over and
45:19
the sand the needs of to the
45:21
right outside of the fortress. There's definitely
45:23
something unnatural that one of the mounds
45:26
over there I'll hang as if something
45:28
is is. Essentially
45:30
hiding. Okay, so. You.
45:35
Spell. That. Is
45:37
called Ralph's and psychic.
45:40
And. I
45:45
know, like a totally. Different. Are you
45:47
can see you can see a mouse and
45:50
you believe there's a creature hiding? Yeah oh
45:52
you could attack them out. I will come
45:54
out. There. Are
45:58
many see off? That her
46:01
new right finger.
46:03
she's says it
46:05
off. And a
46:07
site is the last. Gonzo?
46:09
Yeah, exactly. Are right. That
46:13
is as intelligent sees.
46:15
Oh wow. okay. And
46:19
the see intelligence and goes without nineteen.
46:22
Oh that. Sucks.
46:29
So let's roll seventy.
46:33
Nine capacity. Of
46:36
mean the hidden? Do.
46:39
So happens I grilled. Not
46:41
warehouses. And nasri. well, I'm
46:48
like, let him. Know. That I know where they are.
46:50
Like a. In
46:54
that case, and can I try
46:56
to solve them? To
46:59
I know generally where they are. His
47:01
students of them out as extreme
47:04
as a good of amounts tatiana.
47:06
District shrink save on the sub freezing.
47:08
Rain So very. Good
47:11
at intelligence and with us to
47:13
see his or her. yeah they
47:15
totally failed that high. So would
47:17
you say from your perspective this
47:19
the forced to push his Young
47:21
Springer news for that applies to
47:23
put a full palm a former
47:26
yeah hi nice and just as
47:28
last survey or whatever does the
47:30
last a pushes in the magic.
47:32
Gonna give it a signing on
47:34
a sonic boom? Oh yeah that
47:36
sounds cool this person or with
47:38
picture. My head like our gas. i'm
47:42
not going to remember the movie forget it
47:44
he was person and co sliding out that
47:46
the saying goes flying everywhere and dot this
47:48
person is there and a day's pay if
47:50
you were the look in a mirror with
47:52
exactly like to dress the same ways i
47:54
had to use all over their face and
47:56
everything like that and are they just eyeball
47:58
look it up as as Rage inside
48:00
there. It's a world where we
48:02
walk guys from far away. Yes.
48:04
Yes Kill
48:07
him All
48:10
right, and that is it for Celine and next
48:12
up the war vet This
48:14
war vet since he's right next to Jimmy. It's
48:17
not gonna not gonna step away. He's not stupid
48:19
He's not gonna walk away. He's just gonna take
48:21
a swing at you with this. Uh, this hockey
48:23
stick. Good luck, buddy we
48:25
miss Yeah,
48:27
second swing at you and we have this one's
48:29
good. This one actually is 23 versus
48:31
AC. We'll hit there you go Nice
48:34
job. Okay, and we've got a total of
48:37
11 Damage flashing again.
48:39
What the hell? I know that's very
48:41
important Wait Hold
48:44
please. Oh, oh, I
48:46
can do a thing. I'm pretty sure Yeah,
48:49
I can do a silvery Barb.
48:52
Yeah. Yeah, I just I basically
48:54
throw some glitter in it Or
48:57
I pick up some sand and I put it in my
48:59
face and then I throw it out and I say pocket
49:01
sand Okay, and it gets distracted
49:04
Magic. Okay, you have to reroll So
49:07
we roll take the look take the second. Yes.
49:09
Yeah, take the lower roll.
49:12
Okay. Well the first roll I rolled a 19 Plus
49:15
my bonus second rolling that I rolled a
49:17
natural 20, bro well,
49:19
my Michael David
49:25
Nikko we know silvery Barb's is a
49:27
reaction I
49:36
made a pun damn and I hate puns. You got
49:38
yourself some damage. I think was 11 of Okay,
49:42
and that is it for both
49:44
tax. So that is it for that one Rourke.
49:46
Who are you giving advantage to? Whoa I can
49:49
then choose a different creature. I
49:51
can see within range beautiful to
49:54
get advantage I would like to give Advantage
49:57
to my father All
49:59
right cool. Lady Celine, this
50:02
person that you see, that
50:05
you pushed out of the sand, they stand up
50:07
and look right at you and
50:09
you hear from them,
50:11
from them, hurt yourself.
50:14
And I need you to do an intelligence save. Okay.
50:20
I might look at all my shit like,
50:22
oh, is there anything I can do? Shields.
50:24
In my head, I was like, Selena's
50:27
smarter. You would think that, but no. Kind
50:31
of close it on personality for magic. Who's
50:35
the personality higher? All
50:39
right. So you can't
50:41
even control it with your steel gaunted, like
50:43
your exoskeleton. You just
50:45
punch yourself in the face. Oh,
50:47
it sucks. Just,
50:49
you know, really, really hard,
50:52
fast. Let's see. That is,
50:54
you're going to take a total of eight
50:57
bludgeoning damage. Okay. And
51:00
you hear the voice again. Again.
51:04
And I need you to do another intelligence
51:06
save. What the heck? Oh, thank God. I get the
51:08
roll again. It's probably gonna be worse this time though. Oh
51:13
my God. Where's that time? I
51:15
feel like I need to give Celine my neck. All
51:19
right. So Celine, you're taking another eight
51:21
bludgeoning damage. You just punch yourself in
51:23
the stomach. My tummy. Hot girl problems.
51:27
And, and, uh, Roar, you're out there with
51:29
her and, and you're like, what the hell?
51:31
She's just beating herself up. Yeah. What is
51:33
going on? Celine stop. You
51:37
definitely noticed there's another person out there that looks
51:39
just like Celine dressed the same with tattoos and
51:41
everything out there. I hate that bitch. Out
51:44
in front of the bus with you all about 20 feet
51:46
away. Your rivals in school. Okay.
51:48
That is it for that
51:51
person's turn. Last, the, uh, the
51:53
one behind squelch draws another arrow
51:55
and takes a shot at squelch and
51:57
a miss takes another shot at
51:59
squelch. I rolled an eight, I rolled a
52:01
two. Fuck you. Ooh! Now I
52:03
want to do Roark. Roark, you're up. Roark, Roark, Roark.
52:06
What? Damn, me already. Shit. Piss.
52:09
Um... Your last turn was like
52:11
20 minutes. Who is in most,
52:14
uh, damage right now? Who looks
52:16
beat up the most? I think probably
52:18
Celine is beating herself up the most.
52:20
Yeah, yeah. If I'm to see
52:22
it's happening, I'm gonna go dance. But it's self-inflicted,
52:24
so I mean, that's crazy. Yeah, maybe she likes it. I
52:26
don't know. No, I don't like it. Quiet! Uh,
52:29
it's not your turn. Hey! I can't hold on! She
52:32
can't say anything. Okay, I
52:35
think that it would be
52:37
fun to give someone... Oh
52:40
wait, what's the closest beast to me?
52:43
Uh, let's see, I think, uh, we've got a
52:46
worm parked nearby. Okay, I'll
52:48
take the worm and do a little
52:50
hypnotic pattern on it. Um,
52:53
give me a wisdom... Why? No, no, no, the
52:55
worm is our friend. The worm is your
52:57
car, is Jimmy's. No, I said
52:59
beast. Yeah. I meant
53:02
like beast as a negative monster,
53:04
so sorry. You mean creature? Bad
53:07
guy? Creature. Cratcher. So
53:09
the closest... Negative cratcher.
53:12
The closest cratcher to you
53:14
is definitely this mirror image
53:16
of Celine. Okay, I want
53:18
to hypnotic pattern it
53:20
so that they won't move. Hell
53:23
yeah. Wisdom 15. I
53:25
think Celine is not wise. She's so
53:27
dumb. I'm gonna take my... I'm
53:29
like wise-ish. I mostly
53:31
hero's magic though. Not
53:34
super great, but I got, I have a plus
53:36
one, but I got a total of 17, so 16 plus one. Fuck face.
53:38
Wow, fuck off, David. I'm
53:42
good at like saves, I just suck at attacking. That's fine, but
53:44
that's my turn. Are
53:47
you able to use your bardic shit to
53:49
make them re-roll? What's your
53:51
college do? I think that I just
53:53
get... Let me look it up.
53:56
Because I think you're the one that lets
53:58
you use your bardic as part of the process. to
54:01
throw a negative D8, is that correct,
54:03
as a reaction? Yes, I
54:05
can use basically the opposite
54:08
of Bardic Inspiration
54:10
instead of giving it to someone. I
54:12
can make them have a negative, I
54:14
think. So that way they'll have to roll
54:16
a D8 and subtract it from their save
54:18
so you can get their asses. You can
54:20
rule their asses. Rule their ass, can't say
54:22
that anymore. Yeah, I can. You
54:24
can expend, okay, cutting words. Yeah,
54:27
because I'm College of Eloquence, so I have to
54:29
do it before the motherfucker rolls, and I hate
54:31
it. Whereas you can use it as a reaction,
54:33
and I'm jealous of it, that being said, you
54:35
lose your reaction. I can use it as
54:37
a reaction. Yeah, let's use it, why not?
54:39
Fuck it. I'm gonna take
54:41
a short rest at least. Just
54:43
right now. Everyone's like, I gotta
54:45
take a nap. No, I mean
54:47
like before we record next. I know, we're gonna
54:50
hit long. That's a different one. We're gonna hit long
54:52
rest. Perfect. All
54:54
right, cool. So you're gonna be doing that
54:56
on your next turn, or is
54:59
this something you're doing now? Roll a D8
55:01
and subtract that from your 17. Oh, oh,
55:03
oh, okay. Right now it happens. 11,
55:07
11, 11. You fucking
55:09
jerk. Okay, you fail. Fuck
55:12
it. You fail. You fail. You want to
55:15
fuck it. I was gonna say you fucked
55:17
up. You fucked up, and
55:19
you failed. So now the
55:21
fake Celine is charbed for
55:26
the duration of the spell. Oh, fuck, okay.
55:28
And so what does that mean? What does
55:30
that mean? They're incapacitated and have a
55:33
speed of zero. Okay, that's
55:35
not good. But they will snap out
55:38
of the effect if they take
55:40
damage or
55:42
if someone else uses an action to shake
55:44
them from their stupor, which
55:47
no one would be. No. No one
55:49
would shake them out of it. No, don't
55:51
do that. That's a very powerful combo.
55:53
Well done. All right, Chuck,
55:55
you're up. Okay, I guess I'll just unhanded
55:58
strike. For one damage
56:01
the creature that my daughter restrained
56:03
with a huge and powerful magic.
56:05
I'm kidding It's a reverse for the
56:07
kids me and my good
56:09
friend Jimmy Can
56:12
I try to do a grapple
56:14
against cuz he didn't kill the
56:16
war vet war vet I
56:19
want to try to grapple war vet. So right
56:22
Where that sounds like they could be a wrestler Absolutely.
56:25
So I rolled a
56:27
seven my strength modifiers of
56:29
three and then oh Ass
56:33
I forgot that I don't have I have decks
56:35
whatever got us got us big got us
56:37
good Come on,
56:39
baby. You did have a little 10 I
56:43
did I rolled exactly and I got 10 as well.
56:45
So that's a it's a the same
56:47
nothing happens. I don't want it No,
56:50
wait, oh, hey, I'd have
56:52
Bardock inspiration still so fuck
56:55
I will use that Then
56:58
I needed to roll above a one and I
57:00
did or above a zero and I did I
57:02
got a three So I want to restrain War
57:07
vet and I want to put my
57:09
big meaty arms
57:11
under his neck And you
57:14
know lift his neck up Maybe pull his
57:16
dog tags out a little bit and like
57:18
yeah, that right here brother You
57:20
got to steal his dog tags that will give
57:22
him the most dishonor Yeah, how
57:25
battlefield work for a little bit if you
57:27
did a melee takedown each other dog tag
57:30
Anyways, me and Michael tomorrow love what battlefield
57:32
boys? Oh, yeah. Did you ever
57:34
stream battlefield with Michael? So anytime? Yeah
57:36
a million times I
57:40
Mean I streamed it together. We probably did it
57:42
way fewer times than you guys guys are you?
57:46
I like Michael in battlefield more. Hey guys
57:48
the battles out there Michael
57:51
and I never played any games together.
57:53
So that's not true. Wait, would
57:55
we play together D&D? I'm
58:00
just gonna use my turn to grapple them.
58:02
Yeah, nice. All right, so whoever attacks the
58:04
next has got this Advantage while
58:06
he's while he's grappled. All right. We're
58:08
dead now at the top of the round squelch you are
58:11
up top I don't like the name What
58:15
you're looking at now squelches you got
58:17
the guy who's on fire still That's
58:20
that's the only one in targets right now
58:22
The turret couldn't get down to the to
58:24
the Celine lookalike it wouldn't be able
58:26
to get down there But there is a Celine
58:29
lookalike that is there too, but they're like locked
58:31
down via spooky magic true That's right. Having said
58:33
we got to take them out So it's not
58:35
a big they gotta go I can't be more
58:37
than one and you'll get advantage like quadruple
58:40
advantage if you tackle Squelch
58:44
squelch In
58:51
case you weren't is there another My
58:58
brain wandered to a broken Super Nintendo I
59:00
have and what could be the deal with
59:02
that mr. Mr. Mr. Enema, it's your turn
59:04
watching your face go from just be like
59:06
waiting to realize it was your turn was
59:08
so funny We've
59:12
all been there so just to recap squelch
59:14
you have a person on fire that's in
59:16
sight right now Are they taking damage or
59:18
are they just oh, yeah? Yeah. Yeah, they
59:21
are taking damage Okay, and then down below
59:23
you see a Celine lookalike who's kind of
59:25
enough stupor because they can't do anything And
59:27
we're trying to kill that yes, you gotta
59:29
go Celine. Yeah Yeah,
59:34
assuming I can tell the difference I walk on
59:36
yeah now you know you you can't get the
59:38
turret to them So if you're gonna engage with
59:40
them, you're gonna have to use a different weapon or
59:42
go down Oh, it doesn't mean that far down Correct.
59:46
I can't rip it off you mentioned Halo And
59:53
because I put myself in the trap if you want
59:55
to do a strength check to try and get it
59:57
off you go I mean, he's got noodle arms, so
1:00:00
You're always setting them up for failure and humor. I do
1:00:02
want to do a strength check. You know what here goes
1:00:06
I believe and deus ex a
1:00:08
Gatling gun for it. I don't know where it's
1:00:10
gonna help a lot I always forget how you
1:00:12
is it the number underneath strength. That's my or
1:00:15
no. That's my stat That's the day
1:00:17
there. I got a plus 16. Let's go It's
1:00:21
whichever minus 10 divided by
1:00:23
2 I Know
1:00:26
you won't remember you don't need to remember that
1:00:28
tells you no never learn I don't even remember
1:00:30
what you said now. Um, so 12 total
1:00:33
you're tugging away on it. You cannot get that thing
1:00:35
off I'm gonna wait.
1:00:38
I tugged it away Action
1:00:45
surge I tug again Refractory
1:00:48
period why don't we call it refractory period or I
1:00:50
need it instead if I need to take a long
1:00:52
rest Hmm, okay,
1:00:54
that's fair. That's
1:00:56
fair. I guess I'll just do like
1:00:59
a regular ranged attack. Okay boring 17
1:01:05
that is a hit Okay. Okay, you're
1:01:08
attacking Celine look alike. Yeah, you have
1:01:10
advantage. Just see if you crit. I'll
1:01:12
see if I crit. Yeah, do you
1:01:14
crit? I What
1:01:17
is Do
1:01:20
it I did not crit. Okay, uh 11
1:01:24
damage. Okay, ouchy, but it's like right in
1:01:26
the forehead just like sticking
1:01:28
out squelch anything else. No
1:01:32
Okay, Jimmy you're up. All right, so
1:01:35
Me Jimmy you got an open war
1:01:37
that being held held down. You've got
1:01:40
a Advantage if you want to attack
1:01:42
him and I do I Say
1:01:45
don't thank you for
1:01:47
your service And
1:01:50
that is gonna be an
1:01:52
18 that is a hit see
1:01:58
And that is gonna be a 11
1:02:03
damage. Alright
1:02:05
looking pretty bad you have another
1:02:07
attack action. I do. With
1:02:10
advantage. I great. Yeah
1:02:13
stop there but better. He hates
1:02:15
it I can tell. That
1:02:18
is going to be a 17. That
1:02:21
is going to be a war
1:02:23
vet. Just hit. That
1:02:26
was the magic number. I'm
1:02:28
just chopping away at his neck. Hit hit.
1:02:32
Ew. Uh 6, 7, uh 15
1:02:34
damage. 15
1:02:38
damage okay. Still
1:02:41
kicking but barely. Just die
1:02:43
already you piece of shit. You got
1:02:45
blood all over me. We're
1:02:48
on to Celine you're up. Okay
1:02:50
so there's fake there's faux Celine
1:02:52
and there's one other guy?
1:02:54
Uh yeah we have a person on fire,
1:02:56
a person in the bus and a fake
1:02:58
Celine. Okay. Fake Celine snapped
1:03:00
out of that charm. Okay
1:03:03
yeah I'm gonna be honest I'm less than certain of
1:03:05
the person that's currently on fire so I'm gonna leave
1:03:07
that one alone. What if they have 800 HP like
1:03:09
I hate this. They could. Um
1:03:11
and Celine's about I'm gonna have to
1:03:14
make a choice right now. Okay. So I'm
1:03:16
about to make a decision. Uh which is to
1:03:18
burn my last 4th level spell slot. We have
1:03:20
like 8 minutes left. I'm
1:03:22
also going to burn some
1:03:24
of my sorcery points so
1:03:26
that I can twin the
1:03:29
spell and hit two people
1:03:31
with relative psychic land. Holy.
1:03:33
Do it. That's scary. I
1:03:35
love it. Yeah. Uh
1:03:38
so imagine that Celine oh
1:03:40
I guess this is the middle finger attack again I was gonna
1:03:42
be like I'm like. Bro the fact that
1:03:44
you can remember it I'm you're twinning it. Yeah yeah
1:03:46
yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
1:03:49
yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah Yeah.
1:03:52
Um so yeah so that is an
1:03:54
intelligent save for both of them.
1:03:56
Okay. First. First
1:03:58
we'll do the twin Celine. Twin Stellene
1:04:01
rolls a natural one. Yay! Super
1:04:03
bitch! Gotta get
1:04:06
Lance. The one
1:04:08
up on fire passed. The
1:04:10
one that's not on fire down below with
1:04:12
good intelligence failed. There are no two guys
1:04:14
that are not on fire. Okay,
1:04:16
so let me know. Being
1:04:19
on fire for that one probably gives you a lot of clarity. Do
1:04:22
you think so? So that is
1:04:25
34 psychic damage
1:04:27
to them. And then half for the
1:04:29
one that passed. Describe
1:04:32
killing the one on fire. Okay,
1:04:35
so yeah, so you
1:04:37
just see like shooting from my
1:04:39
left middle finger, this like bolt
1:04:41
of light, kind of like a,
1:04:44
like a, what's
1:04:46
the, a phaser in, you know, Star
1:04:48
Trek or whatever. You just think, ding!
1:04:51
And then explosion, like
1:04:53
scanner style fucked up
1:04:55
brain explosion. It's on
1:04:58
fire and it's exploding. Yeah, flaming
1:05:00
meat tones everywhere. I love it. Okay.
1:05:04
And your, your, your Celine look
1:05:06
alike. Yeah. Damage,
1:05:09
half, still alive, still kicking, but pissed.
1:05:11
But still, so I tried to do
1:05:13
a similar scanners brain explosion, but it didn't
1:05:15
like quite work. Her, her
1:05:17
nose bled. Yeah, her nose is bleeding. She's bleeding
1:05:19
out her ears. She's bleeding out of every hole. Every
1:05:21
hole? All of them? Up to you. You
1:05:24
interpret that how you want. No. Wow.
1:05:27
That's a lot. Even
1:05:31
their cloaca? Listen, I can either
1:05:33
confirm or deny. Especially the
1:05:35
cloaca. I won't describe that. We'll
1:05:37
continue. Next up, I'd
1:05:40
like Rourke to give me an
1:05:42
intelligence save, please. That's
1:05:44
not something I'm good at, David. My
1:05:46
daughter's real smart. Top of her class. Home
1:05:49
school. Like, like our class is soccer
1:05:51
school. That's
1:05:53
the biggest bird I've ever heard. I
1:05:57
rolled a three. negative
1:06:00
one so I got a two. The
1:06:02
dice no sometimes. Yep the dice no. And
1:06:05
you hear inside your head, well first of all
1:06:07
what weapons like melee or ranged weapons do you
1:06:09
carry with you? I'm trying to remember. I think
1:06:12
she has a rape theater. Okay
1:06:14
you just hear inside your
1:06:17
head attack the
1:06:19
other woman and you're
1:06:21
going to attack Celine with
1:06:23
your rape here. Oh shit. That's
1:06:26
rude. Wow. That's
1:06:28
rude. Yeah and I'll let you roll the attack. Thank
1:06:31
you. No thank you. Oh
1:06:34
wait actually this might work well I've been really low. With
1:06:36
advantage. Stop
1:06:38
it. Okay I rolled a 14 plus 5. That's
1:06:43
a great roll nice job. I can't stop
1:06:45
it. My AC? Yeah. Your AC yes. I
1:06:48
would like to cast
1:06:51
shield as a reaction
1:06:53
to it yes. Nice job. And then
1:06:55
it doesn't just barely take me up to 20. Yes.
1:06:59
Awesome. Perfect. I imagine your shield is
1:07:01
just your your exo armor like clanking
1:07:04
it away. Yeah yeah it like it like
1:07:06
comes around like it kind of like shoots out of
1:07:08
my fingers to like form like
1:07:10
a shield in front of me and it's like
1:07:13
silvery you still kind of see through it. Nice
1:07:15
nice you're feeling good you snap out of
1:07:18
it. Roark make
1:07:20
another intelligence save. No thank
1:07:22
you. Do it again. Oh
1:07:25
I got a 16 minus one so
1:07:27
15. You you're able to save
1:07:29
you you say no no. Fuck
1:07:32
off. I love that. That takes care of that
1:07:35
attack. The last one up top is the one
1:07:37
that just pulled up another arrow takes
1:07:39
a shot at squelch again. This
1:07:41
time we have 15 versus AC. I don't think
1:07:43
that's even close. My armor is 17. Hell
1:07:46
yeah. Okay that's a miss another shot
1:07:48
and a miss. He just throws his
1:07:51
bow down he's gonna charge you then.
1:07:53
That is it for this guy and
1:07:55
we're on to Roark.
1:07:59
What? You're up. What? What?
1:08:04
Thank you. Yes. Okay. I
1:08:07
think I want to do my
1:08:09
bardic inspiration, but the uno reversal
1:08:11
re version negative That's a cool one.
1:08:13
Yeah. Yeah, I want to do that again and
1:08:18
Nika your thing is a reaction. So you have to like it's
1:08:20
further if that's save or whatever Stop
1:08:23
it I just got done saying that your version
1:08:26
is better than mine and then you get my
1:08:28
version or I guess tempest version How dare you?
1:08:31
Do you just have something? Okay, I'll
1:08:33
stop the closest thing to me. That's the link.
1:08:36
Yeah do it No, no, okay the
1:08:38
closest enemy to me you love to leave
1:08:40
anything but that you're so used to
1:08:42
stabbing her Thanks, Aline. Thanks Aline. I got
1:08:44
an 18. That's a hit
1:08:46
perfect Okay, two plus
1:08:49
two four baby. Look at that
1:08:52
All right, that's my turn every little
1:08:54
bit and we're on to Chuck
1:08:57
Chuck Chuck. Okay, so I have the guy in
1:08:59
my hand. Yeah, can I do like a pressure
1:09:01
point? Vulcan death
1:09:04
grip. Yeah and War
1:09:06
fat has like a little bit of health,
1:09:08
right? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. You can yeah Just
1:09:11
go ahead and give me a straight face
1:09:13
attack. Uh, I very clearly said a
1:09:15
pressure point because I want to do decks. Oh
1:09:18
God, okay tricky shit, but it's up to
1:09:20
you. Obviously. No, that's fine. That's my decks
1:09:22
is a 17
1:09:26
okay with my You see my
1:09:28
necklace glow because probably gets like pushing
1:09:30
against his neck as well and burning
1:09:32
him was like I'm getting radiation like
1:09:35
you'll get used to it. That's right my
1:09:37
mind I have it up in my left
1:09:39
arm and I wanted to like push my
1:09:41
my two fingers behind just let's just say
1:09:43
fucking Behind his like a windpipe and rip
1:09:45
it out describe killing him I
1:09:49
Rip the neck out and then as a joke
1:09:51
I I spray my
1:09:54
good friend Jimmy
1:09:56
with the arterial blood that's
1:09:58
squirting out like Oh come on! It's
1:10:01
hard to open it. Oh man. Oh. Oh.
1:10:04
He's like running away and my porn head down like, ha ha.
1:10:06
And then I squeeze the guy's belly to make sure there's more.
1:10:08
Oh come on. I'll never
1:10:10
get to that. All
1:10:14
right. So charging up from the side
1:10:16
behind the arrow guys
1:10:18
that kept failing, he just gets
1:10:20
flung to the side as this
1:10:22
big hulking giant wearing a metal mask
1:10:25
comes charging up to. She hated
1:10:27
us. God, that's the best way
1:10:29
I've ever seen. Humongous is on
1:10:32
their way. Humongous. Humongous
1:10:34
anus. Humongous anus.
1:10:36
He stops about 15 feet away from Squelch.
1:10:39
He raises his hand up and there's just
1:10:41
this overly sized handgun. And for some reason
1:10:43
it's got truck balls on it. What? Oh
1:10:45
yeah. No. And he blasts
1:10:47
it straight into Squelch's face. We're going
1:10:50
to see if this attack works. We
1:10:52
have a total of 17 versus your
1:10:54
AC. Which is 17. Oh
1:10:56
no. Well you didn't
1:10:58
say which face. I'm wearing one and I have
1:11:00
one. Yeah, like there's a face
1:11:02
here, face there. Yeah, the one that's in front
1:11:04
of your proper face, whatever is there. Yeah. He
1:11:08
just blasts right into you and we
1:11:10
have a total of. Gotta roll
1:11:12
the dice. It's just
1:11:14
so funny thinking about Squelch anus getting
1:11:16
shot straight into his face. What? That
1:11:18
is not a quell thing. He's
1:11:22
being shot in the face with this giant gun with
1:11:25
dangling truck balls on the handle. Ow.
1:11:28
You're supposed to get bolts in it. All
1:11:30
right, so you're taking 18 damage. I
1:11:34
do that all day. Ouchies. That's nothing. I'm
1:11:36
a shot, point blank shot to the face.
1:11:40
It's like the bat start to rock your head
1:11:42
back. That's what happened. The
1:11:45
fuck boy who was terrible with the bow
1:11:47
and arrow, when he fell down he's just
1:11:50
impaled on a bunch of spikes down there.
1:11:52
You just have Hugh lungus there. It
1:11:54
is now top of the round with
1:11:57
Squelch. I'm ready to kill this
1:11:59
guy. I want to I
1:12:01
want to disarm this guy and shoot him back
1:12:03
in the face Okay How
1:12:07
do I do that? If
1:12:09
you want to try a dexterity based one, we're
1:12:11
just gonna play here. Yeah. Yeah a sleight of
1:12:13
hand probably right 18
1:12:17
plus six you're doing CQC 24.
1:12:19
Give me another one. Give me
1:12:21
a stealth base roll I'm
1:12:23
gonna combine the two 14
1:12:26
plus 9 23. All right,
1:12:29
we're gonna phrase this as a you're
1:12:31
going to attack You know, he's
1:12:33
thinking you're you're coming in to actually attack him,
1:12:35
but then you do some shitty TV
1:12:38
stuff and you are able to
1:12:40
grab hold of his gun He's still got
1:12:42
it in his hand, but you've aimed it
1:12:44
back at him. You do some shitty little
1:12:46
move. It fucking sucks Yeah, and it works.
1:12:48
So he's got in his hand, but you've
1:12:50
you you've got it aimed at part of
1:12:52
his body right now Yeah. Yeah.
1:12:55
Well not a part of his body right back
1:12:57
in his fucking face. I Pull
1:13:02
that trigger. All right, just do a straight-up a
1:13:04
range-based attack, please both of
1:13:06
the face mask boys are
1:13:09
fighting 19
1:13:11
yeah, you you absolutely hit him go to
1:13:13
roll to the eight, please. Oh my god.
1:13:16
Yeah, it's a different a different weapon, eh?
1:13:19
It's a ball gun One D8
1:13:22
for ball a truck nuts gun you can
1:13:24
let the mask guys battle each other in the
1:13:26
fake Celine's can battle each other Yeah, and then
1:13:28
me and Robert. Yeah, awesome background. Yeah, I
1:13:31
get my sneak attack for this, right? I think I
1:13:33
just always get it. Yeah, cuz you're a skullduggery, right?
1:13:36
Yeah. Oh, you have some some yeah some
1:13:38
other shitty thing Yeah, I got it. I
1:13:40
got a thing. He doesn't get advantage. He
1:13:42
gets sneak attack. Yeah, so six seven eight
1:13:45
15 all right blammo
1:13:50
That's what I say, c'mon normal gun
1:13:52
shot sound but I also say blam
1:13:54
All right, oh
1:13:56
my face. Okay, that's it for
1:13:58
your turn with all the extra Bullshit you did
1:14:01
I kind of hope you have it back to
1:14:03
me honestly. Yeah. Yeah, all right excellent And the nice
1:14:05
thing is you know he you you
1:14:07
know you're kind of like what close to six
1:14:09
feet tall Yeah, this guy is about 12 Like
1:14:17
Russian roulette, but like there's a
1:14:20
bullet in every chamber. That's right That's
1:14:23
called riskier roulette. That's Shoot
1:14:26
somebody I think Excellent well
1:14:28
done. We now have Jimmy
1:14:31
you're up all right. Here's some tussling up
1:14:33
above you so humongous is up above
1:14:35
us Yeah, you hear humongous up
1:14:38
there or you assume use them gunshots. I'm
1:14:40
gonna try to scramble my way up there
1:14:42
a sap Give me
1:14:44
athletics or acrobatics Athletics,
1:14:47
please my big
1:14:49
little muscles Your
1:14:51
trashcan armor 18 yeah,
1:14:54
you have no problem scrambling up And you can
1:14:56
see like maybe 20 feet away from
1:14:58
you you see Screech
1:15:00
echo halfway up this giant battling with
1:15:02
them do I can I get over
1:15:05
there? What the hell we're almost over time
1:15:07
so yeah, you're over there with him all right. I run
1:15:09
over I I Do
1:15:11
a roll in between his huge
1:15:13
tree trunk like legs, and
1:15:16
then I slash one of his left
1:15:18
ankle all right Ow
1:15:20
that's his tendon as a big roll as
1:15:22
a big good roll 26
1:15:26
26 that is a hit All
1:15:31
right, that is gonna be 12
1:15:34
flashing damage Alright, oh my
1:15:36
tendons, and then I'm gonna turn
1:15:38
and slashes other ankle on his
1:15:40
other foot Oh,
1:15:42
Michael that is just grotesque. I'm
1:15:44
sorry. I can't help it Too
1:15:47
much you have crossed a
1:15:49
line. I don't care. I'm um I Don't
1:15:52
care Next week
1:15:55
you have to go back to telling our
1:15:57
story dirty dirty 20. Yeah,
1:15:59
we can never I'm gonna let you be a
1:16:01
player again. Dirty 20, that is a hit.
1:16:03
All right, all right, all right. Oh,
1:16:06
maximum damage. That
1:16:08
is 14? 14
1:16:13
damage. Oh, plus
1:16:15
three, because he's bigger than me. So 17 damage. All
1:16:18
right. Oh, fun. Oh, nice. Actually, plus
1:16:20
three for the last one, too. I got
1:16:22
a question for Jimmy. Action surge? I'm gonna
1:16:24
action surge. Hell yeah.
1:16:26
Hell yeah. Yeah, baby. Blow
1:16:28
it all. Blow it all. Oh,
1:16:31
nice. That's great. That's a 22. That's
1:16:34
a hit. All right, so yes, I'll go left
1:16:36
ankle, right ankle, and then I go
1:16:38
straight up. Ow. Middle
1:16:41
ankle, the taint. The taint
1:16:43
needs. That's 16 damage. 19
1:16:46
with the extra. Wow. The
1:16:49
taint is the ankle of the ass. Wow.
1:16:53
Very good. He's looking very
1:16:55
bad from your position. And you're just covered
1:16:57
with all sorts of nasty blood that is
1:16:59
pouring down on top of you. All
1:17:02
right, we're gonna go on to, that
1:17:04
was Jimmy Celine. Woo. You
1:17:06
staring down, you're doppelganger. Yeah,
1:17:09
this bitch has gotta go. Okay,
1:17:11
Karen. That,
1:17:13
oh, is anyone close
1:17:16
to her? Roar, right next
1:17:18
to her. Okay, okay, okay.
1:17:21
I will not fireball her. Fireball.
1:17:23
I will not. Fireball. Fireball. Do
1:17:25
what's in your heart. I
1:17:28
mean, I could, or I could lightning ball her. Lightning ball is
1:17:30
almost exactly the same damage, right? Pretty much, yeah, so.
1:17:32
And you don't have to kill your friend? Exactly. And
1:17:35
I can angle it. Listen, leave it up to
1:17:37
faith. I mean, if there's somebody that I could
1:17:39
line up with, I could hit two people within
1:17:42
100 feet. No, not down
1:17:44
here, it's just. All right, well. If
1:17:46
the positions were reversed, because the guy's 12 feet tall.
1:17:48
My doppelganger, Celine, she needs to do
1:17:50
a deck save. All right, she's
1:17:53
great at that, and she fails.
1:17:55
Ha ha ha, well then. It
1:17:57
is time to roll. The dress gets in the way. 86.
1:18:01
Wow, that's so much. That is a
1:18:04
28 lightning damage
1:18:06
to her. Damn. Describe
1:18:09
killing beneath those tights
1:18:11
or whatever. So Celine,
1:18:13
this time, I've already used both
1:18:15
my middle fingers. So I use a pointer
1:18:17
finger on my left hand now to do
1:18:19
one final flick and like lightning,
1:18:22
like blue crackling lightning comes out
1:18:24
and it zaps her right in
1:18:26
the middle of her face between
1:18:28
her eyes. I don't like that.
1:18:31
Um, and like Kate. Yeah.
1:18:33
And, and then she, you know,
1:18:35
she's like, like, and she's smoking
1:18:37
and she's all roasted and crispy
1:18:39
and she, your skeleton collapse. Yeah. You
1:18:42
can see your skeleton for a second and
1:18:44
she collapses to the sand. Wonderful. We
1:18:46
are on to Rork. So
1:18:48
there's no one down here. Okay.
1:18:50
But you can see them battling this giant
1:18:53
up there. If you have any range or
1:18:55
if you want to buff them or do
1:18:57
something against the giant, whichever, whatever you want
1:18:59
to do or start to scramble up there,
1:19:01
it has a metal face mask. True. Oh
1:19:05
yeah. I'm going to heat metal. How would suck
1:19:07
so bad on that little bitch? Uh,
1:19:11
that's a constitution, right? Yeah. That's
1:19:13
a fail. It's something great.
1:19:15
Amazing. Yeah. Cause like
1:19:17
seeing if you can withstand holding it and this
1:19:19
thing is strapped to his head. Yeah. Doesn't it
1:19:21
happen on their turn? They drop it or something.
1:19:24
I don't remember how this happened. When it happens.
1:19:26
Yeah. You're right. I forget when, but yeah, it's
1:19:29
not so bad. It's like one of those like
1:19:31
horrifying things to think of. Yeah. Yeah.
1:19:34
Yeah. I
1:19:37
rolled four for the damage
1:19:39
though. Okay. Oh, it's
1:19:42
more of a psychological thing. Yeah.
1:19:45
It's upsetting.
1:19:48
Let's be real. It just, it doesn't, it just happens.
1:19:50
Yeah. All right. Cool. All right. We're
1:19:53
down to Chuck. Chuck, Chuck, Chuck. Okay.
1:19:55
So since they are up
1:19:57
there and I'm covered in blood and.
1:20:00
gut and things of that nature, I will
1:20:03
run outside and then
1:20:05
I will reach into
1:20:07
my back pocket and
1:20:12
throw a, it looks
1:20:16
like a mix
1:20:18
between like a straw doll and
1:20:21
like, I don't know,
1:20:23
maybe something that you would get at like a
1:20:26
regional gas station that has like a
1:20:28
weird mascot. Like what's the donut man
1:20:30
mixed with like something like that? This
1:20:33
is my version of reflay,
1:20:35
flavoring a spirit guardian or,
1:20:38
nice, nice, okay. It's
1:20:42
for the kids but I can't help but realize I'm
1:20:44
focusing on the wrong spell because I got rid of
1:20:46
the other one, because someone sucks. Instead
1:20:49
I'm just gonna clam her up
1:20:51
and then floating around me are
1:20:53
these same mascots and he
1:20:56
needs to make a wisdom saving throw. Oh I'm
1:20:58
sure he's super wise. He rolled a natural one.
1:21:01
Good god. Jesus.
1:21:07
Uh, that, oh, that is 20 radiant damage. Alright,
1:21:12
describe killing the giant. So
1:21:15
I'm kind of hustling up and
1:21:17
as I kind of get my
1:21:19
elbows up it's just enough for
1:21:21
my flipping around gas
1:21:23
station mascots to like enter
1:21:26
in through the ankle cut,
1:21:28
enter in through the tank cut. Oh
1:21:30
yeah. And they're just like bouncing around
1:21:32
inside of his flesh body as his
1:21:34
face is melting. Gross. And
1:21:36
by the time I get up there I'm like
1:21:39
ready to do something and he's already on the
1:21:41
ground. Who killed him? Okay.
1:21:45
Uh, do I see my
1:21:47
Riz, my, my Mojo, my you name
1:21:50
it. Yeah you see a satchel beside
1:21:52
him that you know kind of slips to
1:21:54
the ground and you all see a bunch
1:21:56
of unlabeled Mojo. I want to grab it
1:21:59
and shake it. it up like as
1:22:01
a joke let's just take whatever and see
1:22:03
what happens. No! All right Chuck
1:22:05
roll a die real quick. Okay there's
1:22:07
five of us on roll a d6
1:22:09
on a six on reroll uh
1:22:12
I've lost all my d6s and I'm gonna count the folks
1:22:14
in front of me on my window so you roll
1:22:16
I'll tell you who you get. Okay three. You got Celine,
1:22:19
Lady Celine. Thank god it's not my daughter for
1:22:21
some reason. All right whoa look at me look
1:22:23
at me. Jimmy go
1:22:25
ahead and take a drink and roll a die. Uh
1:22:28
three. Three you have
1:22:30
Chuck. Let's
1:22:32
go ahead uh squelch roll a six on a die. Well
1:22:36
five. Four five you
1:22:38
got squelch so you
1:22:40
are yourself. You
1:22:43
drank your own jizz. All
1:22:47
right Jennifer roll it. Four. Two
1:22:49
three you are now Rourke you've
1:22:51
got her essence and that makes
1:22:54
Rourke. Jimmy! Jimmy! Jimmy! You got the Jimmy
1:22:56
Juice. Jimmy Juice sounds good. So Rourke's got
1:22:58
Jimmy Juice and uh yeah that's how it
1:23:00
all ended up so you guys have all
1:23:02
those personalities inside who knows what the hell
1:23:04
that means. That could be a that
1:23:07
could be a future thing that we do. What
1:23:09
do we do at that point? Yeah and looking
1:23:11
around inside this fortress the pumping there's
1:23:13
a bunch of oil pumps inside here and
1:23:16
so you guys have conquered this you
1:23:18
own this fortress you got your own
1:23:20
safari you can do your own guzzling
1:23:23
and you're good to go. Oil pump. I
1:23:25
want to visit this this
1:23:27
story. I agree actually I
1:23:29
do want to visit this again and I think we should. I
1:23:31
think it'd be fun to like literally just pick up here and
1:23:33
be like what's the next thing. Yeah I agree with you. Because
1:23:35
I think I like when you
1:23:38
play a different version of your same character
1:23:40
like what would happen if your character got
1:23:42
put in a different situation. And then we
1:23:44
do a multiverse story. What if? Well we
1:23:46
don't have to do a multiverse you don't have to do a
1:23:48
multiverse. Crisis on infinite drunk rose. There's
1:23:52
a Chinese BL that I forget the name of that
1:23:54
like every episode is just like a different like
1:23:57
universe of the same characters. It's very
1:23:59
interesting. Anyway, so we're a
1:24:01
little over time, but I believe Bachman
1:24:03
is the next slot.
1:24:07
So we don't give a shit
1:24:09
at all. So we can just keep going
1:24:11
for 10 hours. Well, technically it's 15 after.
1:24:13
I think there's like buffers, 15 minutes after.
1:24:15
Oh, it's a little buffer. Okay. Yeah, yeah,
1:24:18
yeah. So we're good. Thank you so much,
1:24:20
David, for doing all this work. Love
1:24:22
this world. David, excellent
1:24:25
job. It's many squirrels
1:24:27
to wrangle together. Yeah. Thank you.
1:24:29
Oh, sorry. I would say it's just
1:24:31
kind of funny how well our characters actually fit. Yeah,
1:24:36
it was just like, like most of
1:24:38
us was kind of us, but like a little
1:24:40
different flavor of it. It
1:24:42
works. Hey, what do you look like? Roark? The
1:24:44
same. Yeah. But
1:24:46
that makes sense though. I think it's not a
1:24:48
negative comment. It's more of a hell yeah. Oh
1:24:50
yeah. Yeah. That's not a negative. Everyone's true to their
1:24:53
character. Exactly. A
1:24:56
devil bunny needs a winner goes to
1:24:58
blah, blah, blah, blah, Jim. Congrats,
1:25:02
Jim. Because I
1:25:04
think that's a donor prize. So that's
1:25:06
probably not their handle. Right. I
1:25:08
assume real quick. If we hit $4,000, I'm
1:25:10
going to stick this knife in this toaster.
1:25:12
Oh, we're way over $4,000. Dude,
1:25:16
no shit, Bachman for a
1:25:18
second. I
1:25:21
was like, Oh no, he thinks money's digital. We're
1:25:26
at $3,000. Because
1:25:28
I thought that. Not that I think that you
1:25:30
thought that, but I thought that. I drew a
1:25:32
standard money in one hour before that. You
1:25:36
know what's weird is when daylight savings time
1:25:39
happens and you get an extra hundred dollars.
1:25:42
Yeah. Radical.
1:25:45
Well, we have many, many,
1:25:47
many more fine things coming up.
1:25:50
Bachman explicitly, what is the next three
1:25:52
hours going to look like? We are
1:25:54
going to be playing, we're
1:25:56
going to be playing a bunch of like fucked up
1:25:58
and weird fighting games. I got it. Jack
1:26:00
of Chan fighting game. We
1:26:04
got a bunch of them. Most of them I can't pronounce. That's
1:26:06
why I just keep saying fighting game over and over again. Just
1:26:08
like, don't worry about it. Just shut up for it. I was
1:26:10
like, I was going to play Street Fighter 2 Turbo. It's
1:26:13
like usually like Japanese games, right? Yeah,
1:26:15
yeah, there's a lot of that. There's one that
1:26:17
one of them, like I'm not even going to
1:26:19
try and pronounce it, but the title like slowly
1:26:21
transitions from Japanese into German in such a way
1:26:23
that you feel like you're having a stroke reading
1:26:25
it. Hell yeah. That's that's an
1:26:27
Evangelion experience. That's a good shit. Yeah. Yeah. It's
1:26:30
going to be great. All right. Well, I will
1:26:32
see you all in six hours. Oh,
1:26:35
my gosh. Thank you so much to
1:26:37
a Bachman.
1:26:39
And who's with you June?
1:26:41
I mean, Josh. Yes, two
1:26:43
separate Josh's bird. Josh and
1:26:46
Josh. We do. Yeah, we
1:26:48
really have so many. As
1:26:52
I've said, my Jojo stand is
1:26:54
Joshua to you. Yes. And it's
1:26:56
every single Josh in the community.
1:26:59
And everyone's like, oh, what, what, what? There's
1:27:01
some bad ones. Especially the bad part of
1:27:03
it. I may all be
1:27:05
there as well. Nice. Oh, yeah. Don't forget
1:27:07
everyone. Stop export upload. OK. All
1:27:09
right. Bye. Oh, should I hit record? You
1:29:00
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