0:00

Radio

0:30

Greetings adventurers!

0:33

I am your Dungeon Master

0:35

Michael Damaro and my pronouns

0:37

are he-him. Hi, my name's

0:39

Nika and my pronouns are she-her.

0:42

I play Rourke. Hey everybody, it's

0:44

great to be here. Thank you so much for

0:47

having me. My name is Tim Lanning, my pronouns

0:49

are he-him. And I play Chuck. Hey

0:51

everyone, I'm Jennifer Sheik, my pronouns are she-her,

0:53

and I am playing Celine Von Esper. Hi,

0:56

my name is Mike Bachman, my pronouns are

0:58

he-him, and I play Screech Echo. None

1:02

of you are allowed to make me laugh

1:04

today. Why? Because there's a cat on you? Because

1:06

it'll bother baby. There's a lot going

1:08

on right now. This

1:11

is a stream. Yeah,

1:13

yeah. Twitch.tv slash Geekly Inc. if you want to

1:15

get in on this. Hot

1:17

action. Wow, this is

1:19

so crazy. There's two things

1:21

happening. Yeah. There's

1:24

two things happening right now and I can't.

1:26

You were talking about my Apple story.

1:28

I know, that's true. For the beginning, that

1:30

like honestly, the stream's guys. Tell it again. No,

1:32

that's only for our stream. If you come to

1:34

the Twitch, you get to hear stories like the

1:36

mystery of why all of the

1:38

apples disappeared from our tree. That's essentially the

1:40

story. Um, that's pretty much it.

1:42

It's terrifying. It doesn't make sense.

1:45

It's terrifying. And you get to see,

1:47

Botman is extremely cute cat and Nika's

1:49

really cool makeup. It's very scary,

1:51

but very cool. The cat is

1:53

so asleep right now. Just like,

1:55

It's like folded over. Yeah. He

1:57

just folded over a Botman's like

1:59

chest. slash shoulder area and his

2:01

asleep. And I want you

2:03

to picture it, but like it looks different

2:05

than that. And it's so cute. This is

2:08

not comfortable. It's so cute. Look at him.

2:10

He thinks it's comfortable. You have to put

2:12

him down because I'm just going to keep

2:14

saying look at the baby over and over

2:16

again. I feel like you have to like

2:18

Nika saying Nika is wearing makeup is. Yeah,

2:21

that's a disservice. Kind of selling is short

2:23

a little bit. Well, to me,

2:25

that is makeup. It is. Yeah. Nika and

2:27

I come from doing

2:29

the most background. So to me, you

2:31

know, it's like it's why

2:34

is it special? No, it's like you dig into

2:36

your soul. Yeah, everything is special. Thank you. How

2:39

would you describe your makeup? I could

2:41

Google this. You could Google. Oh, sorry. I

2:43

typed in Google. Don't type in Google. If

2:45

you Google Google, it'll break. Oh, don't do

2:48

it. Don't try it. Shoot.

2:50

OK, so the picture that I have

2:53

or sorry, not the picture, but the

2:55

makeup that I have is a white face. Didn't you

2:57

tweet it? I did. I did tweet

2:59

a picture. You can see it on Twitter. If

3:01

you look up got Mick G

3:04

O T T M I K on

3:07

Tag Magazine, T A G G magazine.

3:10

That is the picture that I used for

3:12

inspiration. And it is just some like kind

3:15

of wavy eye makeup that's

3:17

like where your natural eyebrows are. But then

3:19

there's eyebrows above that. And then

3:21

some big eyeliner

3:23

cat wings with some little eyeliner

3:26

underneath some jabby eyeliner. And

3:28

I did it in pink, purple and

3:30

blue instead of the neon colors that

3:32

she did. Oh, yeah, it's very cool.

3:37

She looks like a demon, maybe. Yeah,

3:39

like a nice demon. Yeah. Yeah.

3:41

But still a demon. Still a

3:43

demon. Yeah. Previously

3:47

on Greetings, adventurers. Well,

3:50

they typically will just go through the standard protocol,

3:52

you know, cast a tech magic and go through

3:54

each each of

3:56

the wagons. Oh, fuck. Beauregard

3:59

goes. So, damn it, you've

4:01

been here the whole time. What

4:04

should I... He's gonna come with us. He's gonna

4:07

go clown mode. Definitely. With Seventeen,

4:09

you see there are two mages with

4:11

collars. And

4:13

they have a retinue of what

4:16

appear to be soldiers and

4:18

archers with them. It looks like there's

4:20

about eight. I'm a magician. You

4:23

gotta be cooler about this, brother. So

4:26

Bo starts trying to wrestle Ja'Michael

4:28

into the hole. He

4:30

does love to wrestle, by the way. So maybe

4:33

this is actually a good idea. Can we just

4:35

throw the hole over top of them? The hole

4:37

goes over the top of them and then you hear... Okay,

4:40

you take a quick look over your shoulder

4:42

and it does look like one of the

4:45

mages is walking in your direction. So

4:48

I'm softly honking so that

4:50

it's not unusual. A normal

4:52

amount of honking. And

4:56

he pulls out a piece of paper and

4:58

he's like, have you seen this woman? He

5:01

holds up a piece

5:03

of paper and it is a

5:06

picture of a

5:08

rat maritmo. What?

5:12

What are you doing? You better

5:15

watch yourself. I want to throw

5:17

the pie at the clown who said that they knew

5:19

who ratmo was. To start shit.

5:22

Alright, yeah, you fully miss and it

5:24

hits one of the soldiers from the

5:26

OT. No! So

5:31

one of the soldier who got

5:33

pied directly in the face. The

5:35

one who got cream pied? Oh, wow. Grabs

5:39

were worked by the collar and he's like,

5:41

we're bringing this one back with us. Oh,

5:45

boy. We'll see how funny you are

5:47

when you've spent a night

5:50

in the brick. Wait,

5:53

does that mean I'm going to be on a ship? Never been

5:55

on a ship before. As

5:57

I said that, I was like, is this only a ship? And

6:10

yeah, so the clowns are all there's a

6:12

slow few pies can throw around but okay,

6:14

so I think at this

6:16

point Celine would be like, huh, and

6:19

she probably go run towards where Chuck

6:21

and it's like, um, okay, what the fuck

6:23

is happening? They have me they didn't find me

6:25

which is great. Like work did

6:27

throw pie and hit one of the OT in

6:30

the face. Why'd she do that? Okay,

6:32

there. She was, I think she was

6:35

really just trying to like, stay in deep clown. Okay,

6:37

I get that. And she got a little too, like

6:39

too into it. But they dragged her away. But also,

6:41

so let's like maybe talk about I don't know what

6:44

to do. I obviously can't go

6:46

talk to them that much because I know I'll

6:48

go talk to them. I'll give them a firm

6:50

handshake and I'm sure they'll fix it. You

6:53

haven't actually come face to face

6:55

with her yet. But but

6:57

your old schoolmate Greta Buckleby is

6:59

one of the OT members. Right?

7:03

Yes. Yeah, I actually go one

7:05

of them. So like, even though I've got this

7:07

clown garb on right now, I don't want to

7:09

change it. So I'm gonna I'm gonna stay away.

7:11

Hey, I would say right now. Well,

7:14

you used to have that clown garb on you. What?

7:17

The OT stuff. Now you're

7:19

free of that. Oh, you're? Wow. Anyways,

7:22

you should probably hide. Oh, what you also FYI,

7:24

they're looking for him. Oh, yeah,

7:27

I assume they were looking for me. So I was trying to,

7:29

you know, stay undercover. Yeah. Okay.

7:32

Well, that's good. At least. Yeah.

7:35

We don't know why. I don't know why. But

7:37

huh. Yeah,

7:40

please. Yeah. Good deal with

7:42

that. I'm gonna go hide. So I I'll go. Well,

7:44

I should just go back to the clown. I should

7:46

just stay amongst the clowns. I guess to blend in.

7:48

Hide and play inside. Right? Yeah.

7:51

I'll mingle amongst the clowns. Michael, I'll

7:54

make my way to my daughter

7:56

who's never done anything wrong. Hey,

7:58

what what's usually the problem here?

8:00

I'm being unjustly held. See? I

8:02

was merely doing but clown things and it's

8:05

being held against me. See, this is a

8:07

circus. Yeah, so I suppose the OT guy

8:09

turns around to

8:12

intercept you and Rourke is

8:14

continuing to be dragged

8:16

off by the two

8:18

soldiers. Hey, hey, hey, come on now.

8:20

Can't we discuss this? She's

8:22

just a little girl. I would like

8:24

to kick a lot. I wanna be real

8:27

squirrely and I also wanna drop my weight

8:29

at random times so they don't get

8:31

a good handle on me. Who

8:34

is this to you? This

8:36

person? That's my daughter. Your

8:39

daughter? Yeah. Yeah,

8:41

that's my dad. She doesn't look like

8:43

you. Oh! Okay, just

8:45

because I'm a hog goblin

8:47

and she's half orc, half

8:50

elf, doesn't mean shit

8:53

buster. Are you judging our

8:55

family dynamic? Okay, what's your

8:57

OT number? That is, you

8:59

can't, that's a violation. That's

9:01

a microaggression. That's fucked

9:04

up. We are required to

9:06

do at least six microaggressions

9:08

every day. Oh,

9:11

really? Wow. Okay,

9:13

all right. Well, I didn't realize that. I haven't

9:15

been in the capital for a while. That's

9:18

on me. That's my bad. Yeah, porky. What?

9:21

I'm not fat. I'm just luxurious. Why would

9:23

you say that? That's so rude. I have

9:26

to be this big to wear these clothes.

9:28

I'm not a good guy. A dog walk

9:30

spy. Oh, come here so I can kick

9:32

you, dog. No! Hey,

9:35

buddy. Hey, hey, hey, buster. My

9:38

name's Chuck. I want to put my hand out for a dad

9:41

handshake, the number one language

9:43

across adults. He takes

9:46

out a handkerchief and dusts your hand before

9:49

shaking it. Oh, I'll take it. I don't know. I

9:51

don't know where that thing's been. What is your name,

9:53

sir? I don't

9:56

know why I'm answering your

9:58

questions, but my... My name

10:00

is Thorold Baines.

10:03

Well Thorold, haven't you been young

10:05

once and don't you understand the

10:07

community of the circus here? Sometimes

10:10

you roughhouse, sometimes you play little

10:12

games. And sometimes you

10:15

get a pie in the face. And really

10:17

a pie in the face is not that

10:19

big of a deal. Just

10:22

the other day I had a pie in my face and

10:24

I laughed. I laughed so hard. Who

10:26

got hit in their face? I bet they're gonna be

10:28

able to laugh and talk about it. Tell their damn

10:30

kids. You sir, you sir,

10:33

you got creamed and that wasn't that big of a deal,

10:35

right? Come on, say it

10:37

with me. It was funny. Oh,

10:39

roll persuasion. Aw man. Okay,

10:42

that sounds a little bad. That

10:45

is a...oh hell yeah,

10:47

21. Uh, I

10:50

do have to say, uh,

10:52

Mr. Baines, it

10:54

was pretty funny. And the pie

10:56

was good too. Say we use

10:58

good ingredients, good people. Well, maybe

11:00

I can overlook this

11:03

once if...but I...well,

11:06

I don't have to take her back and put

11:08

her in the land brig, but... If

11:11

you want to hit her with a switch or something like

11:13

that... Oh no, we

11:15

have something a little more

11:17

impactful than that. Okay.

11:20

I will need to make a spectacle

11:23

of her. I don't know

11:25

what that means, that seems... I don't generally...I'm

11:27

more of a hands off parent.

11:29

I like to let her explore

11:31

what she's interested in. Why doesn't

11:33

that surprise me? Hey, let's not...let's

11:35

not do that. You've hit your

11:37

quota on microaggressions. Let's not go

11:39

macro, right brother? Yes. But

11:41

what have you gotta do? She clearly should have done

11:43

that. So if you just need to like, I don't

11:46

know, uh, start talking

11:48

to, um, take

11:50

away her Nintendo DS, either of those things.

11:53

Yeah. I think one application of

11:55

Bigby's forceful slap should do. Were

11:58

you gonna slap me? on

12:00

your bottom miss. Oh,

12:03

okay. Okay,

12:06

all right. Okay, I'm ready to

12:08

accept my punishment. Well, we'll have

12:10

to wait until we finish the

12:12

inspection and make sure

12:14

there isn't any other ne'er-dwells. Any other

12:17

slaps? Yeah, you're a real smart one.

12:20

I should be writing down a thing or

12:22

two. I'm trying to make sure this circus

12:24

runs good. And I tell you, I could

12:26

go to the OT school management school to

12:28

learn a bit. I'm over and over my

12:30

head. I'll tell you what, friend. Can

12:33

I wink at Chuck before saying this, but then

12:35

I look at the OT member and I say,

12:38

I wish you were my dad. What?

12:41

I gave you a wink. I

12:43

don't. That's weird. I don't

12:45

like that. I'm your father. Anyway, we

12:47

shall continue with- Well, this guy's gonna

12:50

be my son. I'll show you.

12:53

Mr. Banes, do you want to be my son? You're

12:57

gonna get a big be up

12:59

the butt too, if you- All right, all

13:01

right, all right. You don't be

13:03

careful. Back off, buddy. All right, I'm

13:06

back. If you need any help with anything, I'm pretty

13:08

big deal around here, so let me know. I

13:11

think that the OT can handle it

13:14

from here. Thank you, citizen. I

13:16

do. And I give a little bow.

13:18

I love the idea that Chuck and Roark are extremely

13:20

formal with the OT. Roark, just

13:22

because she thinks that they are royalty,

13:26

like these are important people. Yeah,

13:28

yeah. Who's calling Tubby? I look

13:30

great, asshole. That

13:32

was so rude. I can't believe they would

13:34

say that to you. I know. We should

13:37

go throw a pie in their face. Michael,

13:39

I'm gonna kick your ass. It's messed up.

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you for watching me this where I sense it and

15:57

it's not a data miner or pattern on 3 there.

16:00

It's watching me. No matter how far

16:02

I run, I will see it again.

16:04

It's everywhere. I know you're trying to

16:06

run away from me. They

16:08

are bait and the bait gets eaten.

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I like to remember how I used

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to think. I was two days old

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and I like to play games, but

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something is playing a game

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with me. Follow

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a better paradise on Apple Podcasts,

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Spotify, or wherever you get your

16:26

podcasts. So

16:30

now what? What's

16:32

Chuck doing? What's Celine doing? I

16:35

guess I'll just go mingle in with the rest,

16:37

maybe go stand next to

16:39

Copperfeld or whatever his fucking name

16:41

is, Copperpot. That's a different guy.

16:44

Yeah, that's the newspaper man, wasn't

16:46

it? I'm crazy. Who's the circus

16:48

guy? Barnabas. I'll go ahead

16:50

with Barnabas. Because there's no other like,

16:52

they're just checking it, right? Yeah, they're

16:55

going- Have they gone back to the

16:57

back where Screech is? Screech

16:59

is off to the side is

17:01

my understanding, right? Okay. If

17:03

I try to help Screech, I'll put more attention

17:05

to it. Too many cooks, as they

17:07

say. So yes, they're going train by, or

17:11

car by car and checking things.

17:14

They've already looked at the

17:16

clown car, correct? They haven't

17:18

technically checked the clown car. They got

17:20

to the clown car essentially. And then

17:22

there was a big kerfuffle. So

17:24

are the clowns still, are we clowns, I

17:27

am one of them now, still mingling outside

17:29

of the clown car? Or are they like,

17:31

what's going on there? Probably. That's

17:33

what I would think. Okay. What is

17:35

Screech doing? Describe to me exactly what

17:38

Screech is doing right now in extreme

17:41

detail. So I have this hole

17:43

that I crammed, folded it up, put

17:45

it in my sleeve. Because I'm a

17:47

magician. And as I

17:50

understood it, I was just like trotting off

17:52

towards the woods, but on like the other

17:54

side of the caravan where they couldn't see

17:56

me. Okay. So you are in the woods

17:58

essentially? Yeah. Grappling. Are

18:01

you, are you not grappling? I don't have

18:03

a grappling hook. It's in the

18:05

hole. Are you screech or are you behold

18:07

or doodle? I'm screech dressed as a magician.

18:09

Okay, right. I think, I think last time

18:12

I explicitly said that he already dresses like

18:14

a magician. So it's just normal, normal street

18:16

clothes. You hear some rustling around nearby in

18:18

the woods and

18:20

you, you kind of, well actually give me a

18:23

perception. Yeah, yeah, why don't I do that? I

18:26

rolled a 19. I

18:29

can check my perception, but it seems like you

18:31

rolled pretty good. So

18:33

you hear what sounds

18:35

like a boy going,

18:39

oh, they're gonna find it. Oh no, what do

18:41

I do? What do I do? I hear a

18:44

ward. I find him,

18:46

I find him. As you get

18:48

closer, you realize it's Dick Goody. Dick

18:52

Goody, what are you trying to hide out

18:55

here? Oh, excuse

18:57

me, Mr. Screech. Echo,

19:00

nothing. I just

19:02

had a, oh, I might have some,

19:05

not me, but

19:08

you know, I

19:10

think I saw the Oriel stash, a

19:14

magical dagger in the last train

19:16

car. And

19:19

so I think it's a big deal if it

19:22

gets found. Well, I

19:24

mean, why is it a big deal to you? Well,

19:27

cause the Oriel protects us, especially

19:30

as orphans. Yeah,

19:32

but then don't you think you should leave the,

19:35

leave the protecting up to the Oriel? Aye.

19:38

The Oriel knows where their daggers are.

19:40

Okay, yeah, I guess he'll figure it

19:43

out. Yep, guess he will. Well,

19:45

you should come with me then. So

19:48

where, why? And the,

19:50

well, the OT are gonna find your daggers.

19:54

Huh? The OT are gonna find your

19:57

daggers. You don't wanna be here when they do. No, no,

19:59

not mine. Fuck, I really thought that would work.

20:02

Did I get a deception roll for that, Michael? I

20:04

should get a deception roll for that. Oh yeah, you're right.

20:06

You should get a deception roll. I

20:08

do think it's funny that you didn't

20:10

try the deception roll first, which makes

20:13

me think that you were actually just

20:15

trying to trick Michael. I was trying

20:17

to trick Michael. Failed

20:21

that roll. Failed this roll too. That's

20:23

a seven deception. Um,

20:26

I don't know what you're talking about, sir. Cut

20:29

the crap! I know you're the Oriel! What?

20:34

Uh... Ahhhhhh!

20:39

First person to speak loses. How

20:41

do you know? How

20:43

would you know that I'm the Oriel? Uh,

20:47

it's pretty obvious. The Oriel disappears,

20:49

you appear... Seriously?

20:52

Yeah, yeah, you haven't noticed? Ah

20:54

shit. I mean, oops.

20:58

I know because I too am

21:00

no stranger to secret identities.

21:03

What are you talking about? I put

21:05

my dog head on, but I feel like I've been

21:07

walking around in costume without a mask. Like,

21:10

he probably already knows. I haven't

21:12

seen that mask. What is

21:14

that? Wait, no, Oriel has talked

21:16

to the whole... Okay, I see. Yeah, he's

21:18

better at this than I am. You're...

21:23

Bull-the-doodle? Of

21:25

course. Whoa. Can't

21:29

you tell my voice changed? Do

21:31

you think you want to be my ward or something?

21:35

Okay, I'm gonna need you to back

21:37

the fuck up, first of all. If anybody's

21:39

gonna be anybody's ward, you're

21:42

gonna be mine. Yeah, but

21:44

have you ever tasted... Careful.

21:49

The blood of your enemies as their

21:51

light extinguishes from their eyes? Tons

21:53

of times. Oh sick, bro.

21:57

Yeah, dude. I don't really... tell

22:00

the gang about this but I have

22:02

killed so many people like bad

22:04

guys though right yeah all bad

22:07

guys all bad guys like

22:09

they would probably I mean maybe a

22:11

court of law wouldn't convict them but

22:14

they're guilty well yeah you know yeah

22:16

if you leave things up to the

22:18

legal system like sure of the legal

22:20

system don't get me started these OT

22:23

gotta go what I'm

22:25

saying they do got it do you want

22:27

to take out the OT if

22:29

we if we were to hit them from

22:32

either side then like

22:34

a pincer move you

22:36

know about the pincer move oh my god I've

22:39

been trying I wanted to do

22:41

a pincer move forever but I'm a solo

22:43

little wolf type so I reach

22:46

in the hole and I want to pull out

22:48

my hook my grappling hook you got a hook

22:50

bro you open the hole

22:52

and it's just like fur covered in

22:54

fur and animal

22:57

blood I'm like yo you got a hook

23:01

um that's a sick

23:03

hook right wait you have

23:06

a magical hole well yeah I mean

23:08

yeah it's not I mean something's not

23:10

mine it's kind of technically this the

23:12

group's that's still sick

23:14

though yeah no I like it yeah we got it

23:16

we got a bear in there and a dragon no no

23:19

no I cannot let

23:39

them out they will they're currently and

23:41

they're currently engaged in a battle and

23:43

they will cause the scene oh

23:46

man this is not the time for a

23:48

scene how many minutes has it

23:50

been yeah I thought this is gonna go fast

23:52

but now it's taking forever yeah they're taking so

23:54

long this is this is all one turn six

23:56

seconds that's good point this is happening while the

23:58

other stuff happened I'm sure they got a little

24:01

air when you opened it up to pull the

24:03

grappling hook out. So that probably resets the clock.

24:06

I opened it up and a bear's bear head just pops

24:08

up. Goes

24:11

back in. All

24:14

right, so are we doing this? What? We have him

24:16

right now? I mean, it

24:19

depends. I mean, if you're the

24:21

Oriole, then yeah, let's go. All right, well, let's

24:23

grab my dagger. I think they have your friend,

24:25

by the way. I think we're

24:27

best friends. Let's go. I

24:30

think they have your friends. Oh,

24:35

yeah. Jesus. He's

24:38

fully forgotten all of us now. He's got a new

24:40

war. He's got that new war. You

24:43

know, we could just get out of here. But

24:46

with that, is that what a

24:48

true guy

24:54

who likes justice would do? Hero

24:57

feels a little strong. Yeah,

25:01

that really goes against my vigilante nature.

25:04

Right. Let's do it. Let's do

25:06

it. All right. Wait, how many OT

25:08

are there? Uh, there's only

25:10

two OT. Oh,

25:12

my God. And then there's are they

25:14

separate or together? Five soldiers

25:17

and three archers. So there's

25:19

only two is all I heard. Yeah.

25:21

Okay. So five, two OT, five soldiers, three

25:23

archers. They're a

25:26

bit spread out, but they're probably

25:28

they can probably all see each other. Yeah,

25:30

it's kind of sounded like a lot. Here's

25:35

the thing is, I feel like we could do our pincer. Then

25:37

I feel like we'd get we get pincered. They

25:41

get they then they could pincer the pincer. You know what I'm

25:43

saying? Well,

25:45

would your friends would your

25:48

friends help? I don't. Well, yeah,

25:50

and I really think they'd have a choice. You

25:56

kind of raise a good point. Yeah,

25:59

let's roll. Let's do this. Let's

26:02

kill these fuckers. Yeah. Oh

26:04

my God. We've

26:07

got about out with this kid's back

26:09

for his because he's got some fucking

26:11

demons. Yeah. He's holding a damn grudge.

26:14

Hey, real quick, before we do this, parents

26:16

alive. Oh no, way dead, dude. Yeah. Nice.

26:18

I live with the orphans. That's true. You

26:20

do. I, that could have been a cover,

26:22

but yeah, yeah, yeah. I hear what you're

26:25

saying. All right, let's go. Ryan

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See Mint Mobile for details. So he

30:23

brings you back to the back of the caravan.

30:32

Underneath the trailer, there's like a little secret apartment that

30:34

he knocks. He knocks on it twice and it pops open.

30:37

And inside there is the costume of the

30:39

Oreo as well as a magical dagger. Wait,

30:42

that kid's the Oreo? Which he dons.

30:49

He's like, never tell anyone my secret. I

30:51

never tell anybody my secret bro. Got it. If

30:54

you know what's good for you. Okay.

30:56

Okay. I mean settle down, but okay.

30:59

I hear ya. Michael, remind

31:01

me like about what age does

31:03

this kid look? He's like, he's

31:05

a kid. He's like eight, 10,

31:08

eight, 10, 12, something like

31:10

that. Okay. So yeah.

31:12

Okay. I was thinking a little older. So that's

31:14

pretty young. All right. He's probably small for his

31:16

age. You know, you don't know. That makes sense. So

31:19

yeah. Are you, is this happening? Is

31:22

this what's going on? I think it's happening.

31:25

So you're sneaking up on either side.

31:28

It looks like they're about to do some

31:31

sort of ritual spanking. Yeah.

31:33

Meanwhile. Okay.

31:39

So, so what's it like?

31:41

Did they like call out? The

31:45

ritual spanking is about to start just

31:47

because I want to know if, if a

31:49

Celine would like be aware that the ritual

31:52

spanking is happening. Yeah. So, so

31:54

they do want everyone to come out and

31:56

watch. Ooh. Okay. Okay. So, so

31:58

perfect. That means there's a... whole group

32:00

of clowns watching this. Can

32:02

I, can I, can I have

32:04

Celine give me a history check

32:07

with advantage? Ooh,

32:09

the history of spanking. I'm

32:12

gonna need it because my history is

32:14

not so good. Oh, I

32:17

rolled a nat 20. Yes.

32:19

This is the one thing I know, apparently. Yes,

32:22

because you will never, you will

32:24

never forget the one time you ever

32:26

crossed the line with the OT. It

32:29

wasn't even your fault, really. It was somebody

32:31

else's fault, but somehow you got the rap

32:33

for it and you did,

32:35

you had to get Bigby's

32:38

forceful slap and you

32:40

just remember it feeling, it wasn't

32:43

necessarily a sharp pain, but

32:46

it was just like, it

32:49

caused you a level of exhaustion at least.

32:52

Is that a spell? Oh

32:54

shit. Oh shit. So it fucks

32:57

you up real good. It makes you feel real

32:59

bad. Celine's like, oh, the clowns got

33:01

me. But I'm,

33:03

again, I assume the whole group

33:05

of clowns has moved as a

33:08

herd together. They move at herds?

33:11

Yeah, they just like, I think to them as

33:14

a school of fish situation. They

33:16

just, they move fluidly

33:19

together honking. And

33:21

I'm in the middle, I'm just trying to

33:23

not super stand out. There's a

33:26

number of alarm honks. Single file

33:28

to hide the numbers. Exactly.

33:30

Yes. So they've climbed,

33:32

they've basically taken Rourke up on top of

33:34

one of the caravans

33:36

so everyone can see real good. And

33:40

Rourke, are you, how are you

33:42

dealing with this? How are you handling this? You

33:44

know, I think I'm taking it in stride. I'm

33:48

trying to look

33:50

sad about it. I

33:54

want to play it up. I can

33:56

I have a small or in

34:00

maybe that I've paid just a

34:03

little bit of coin to for

34:05

them to cry and proclaim that

34:07

they don't want to lose their

34:09

like favorite sister or something. I

34:12

think there's probably a number of clowns who

34:14

are very upset. They're

34:16

genuinely upset. I don't have to pay

34:18

them. Yeah, no, that they they've accepted

34:20

you into into their society. So yeah,

34:22

okay. Okay.

34:24

Yes, then I want to incite

34:26

a rebellion with the clowns so

34:28

that they go against the OT

34:30

whenever I am spanked. I'm

34:33

going to pretend to die whenever I spank. Spanked

34:39

unto death. All right. And

34:42

Chuck, what is Chuck doing? Chuck is like,

34:45

we talked about this. Everybody's

34:47

just going to do their parts. And if we stay

34:49

low, then we'll

34:52

get through this. Sure. Rock

34:54

will get slapped, but she won't die. So

34:56

yeah, I'm just kind of hanging back as

34:58

well. And like Celine and like Celine knows

35:00

that it's like, yeah, it's gonna feel not

35:02

good, but she's not gonna die. So like

35:04

she doesn't feel the need to save

35:07

her or anything. It is the

35:10

this is the OT like typical

35:12

punishment. You know, this is this

35:15

is what they do. This is

35:17

a Tuesday for them. I love

35:19

to get spanked. I think they

35:21

have to like someone every day

35:23

gets the original spanking. Like

35:25

if no one's done anything wrong, they'll

35:28

find something. Yeah, that you

35:30

did. So just to keep

35:32

everyone in line. I hate that. You

35:34

haven't been spanked in a while. That's

35:36

a crime. Yeah. So Screech,

35:38

are you attacking pre or post spank?

35:42

Um, because it's going. It seems

35:44

to be going down right now. Let's

35:47

roll it. Can we do it? Can we do

35:49

a high low? Yeah. Why? It's

35:52

your decision. Yeah. And I can't

35:55

decide. It's so hard. Sure. I

35:57

guess that's legal. I guess pre. from

36:00

this banking. Cower, now she's

36:02

not gonna learn anything. She's gonna think

36:04

two murderers are gonna show up whenever

36:08

she gets in trouble. I mean honestly she does usually

36:10

get saved when she gets in trouble. Rourke

36:15

has learned there is no negative consequence

36:17

for anything that she does. She died

36:20

twice and she came back. Yeah,

36:22

she's like I can't die actually. Okay,

36:26

yeah, so let's I guess

36:28

roll initiative everyone. I

36:30

don't want to. We don't know. Why

36:34

am I rolling initiative? I'm just throwing you in

36:36

the order just in case you want to do

36:38

something. I'll throw you in the order. Because like

36:40

if I see what's going on then maybe I

36:42

want to throw it out. I mean surprise round

36:45

though, right? I mean yeah, you'll have to roll

36:47

for that. Nine. Ten.

36:49

Eight. I got a 20. Okay,

36:52

thank well thank goodness you're the one that's actually

36:54

doing stuff. I

36:57

come out and I'm like unhand that clown that I just go,

37:04

Oh, I'm gonna give you to the count of six. I

37:08

think it's very funny that our initiative rolls like

37:10

lined up with what was actually happening anyway, where

37:12

it's like, we don't

37:14

know like Chuck and Celine don't really

37:16

know what's going on and Rourke is

37:19

just like I'm about to be spanked.

37:21

So Screech you are up first. Please

37:23

roll stealth for me. Oh, there's one

37:25

thing I can roll it's stealth. Twenty

37:30

seven. It seems like you're in perfect position. No

37:32

one seen you and you

37:35

are free to attack it will I

37:37

so it's like the hand coming down. Would

37:39

you say is it like so

37:41

the scene is there's a bunch there's a

37:43

trailer car train, whatever you

37:45

call it. There's

37:48

a bunch of clowns and jugglers and

37:50

magicians and other circus folk sort

37:52

of milling around at the base of it up on

37:54

top of it is is

37:57

one of the is the OT guy. as

38:01

well as two soldiers on

38:03

either side of Rourke. And

38:06

then down below are the rest of the

38:08

OT and

38:12

their foot soldiers. But

38:14

where are we in the spanking process? The

38:16

spanking is about to happen. It's,

38:18

he seems to be winding up.

38:20

Okay, I would initially, before saying

38:22

anything, I want to try

38:24

and grapple

38:27

Rourke with the grappling hook so that

38:29

I can pull her to safety. Okay,

38:32

yeah, and I mean, you've got

38:34

the magic rope, so. Wait,

38:37

will the OT know it's magic?

38:40

Not, they're dead. Oh, okay, that's fair.

38:42

I mean, what's the worst that happens? I mean,

38:45

yeah, at this point, that's just

38:47

as bad, right? No, this is fine,

38:49

this is fine. Nothing

38:51

bad is gonna happen. So

38:53

what do you think, like a ranged attack, maybe a strength roll? Yeah,

38:56

non-lethal for sure. Non-lethal,

38:59

non-lethal grapple? Yeah. Yeah,

39:01

so you would need to like

39:03

first grapple her, right? So I

39:05

would do an attack roll with,

39:09

but it's a grappling hook, I'm

39:11

not physically grappling. Right. So you're

39:13

shooting her with a fucking spear

39:15

gun. Right. And hoping it

39:17

sticks inside of her and then you're gonna

39:19

rip her away. It wraps around, it wraps

39:21

around. It's safely, non-lethal. Right. Okay. Safe, it's

39:23

safe, it's safe. So I think you do,

39:26

I guess it wouldn't be an attack

39:28

necessarily, but it'd be

39:30

more like a dexterity. Okay.

39:34

To get it to wrap around her. Well, is it wrapping

39:36

because you just tell it to? It does

39:38

wrap because you tell it to. It seems like

39:40

it would be an attack roll, but for the

39:43

space to the upper right next to Rork,

39:45

like can you shoot at the right spot

39:47

or are you gonna shoot her with a

39:49

fucking stomach? Right, like

39:51

if you can get it in the vicinity, if

39:54

you can get it in the vicinity, then it's gonna do

39:57

its thing and wrap around her. Yeah. Right. I

40:00

think I like an attack roll with advantage,

40:02

but like a range to tackle. Yeah, right.

40:04

Yeah, but it's like not against Rorke's AC

40:07

In a way, right? Okay, it doesn't need

40:09

to beat her armor You

40:11

will so 18

40:14

total. Oh, yeah, that's I think that's enough

40:17

to to wrap around and then to pull

40:20

Mm-hmm. Do I have to do anything different?

40:22

I think that's an I think that's gonna

40:24

be your action You know,

40:26

this is gonna be your action. So grappling

40:28

is the action. Yeah I'm

40:30

trying to decide if I need to action surge or

40:32

not. I think if you want I think you can

40:34

do this I think you can pull her out of

40:36

there But if you want to actually attack you would

40:38

have to action search. That's what I'm thinking. Oh, no,

40:40

that's why that's why I've got a new word for

40:42

that. I'm not gonna lie. That's a pretty bad Are

40:49

this supposed to happen at the same time Coordinated

40:51

attacks and this is an

40:53

attack. I've turns don't work like that.

40:55

Wow We can't

40:57

take our turns at the same time be

41:00

talking over each other get the rules All

41:04

right, so you yoink you yoink of work

41:06

out of there. No spanking will happen. Yeah

41:09

What the fuck and then Oreo

41:11

the Oreo comes through he swings

41:14

in and Because he's

41:16

apparently grappling as well. He's going

41:18

right for the OT guy Daggers

41:20

the Kimbo got to know he's

41:22

got two of them. That's so

41:24

cool. They might not both matter Right,

41:28

but yeah, can we just believe it on the Oreo? I

41:31

mean, I mean I wouldn't go along

41:33

with that I'm I'm just thinking we played

41:36

office like oh he's training like and

41:38

he's just got excited I

41:50

didn't say anything. Do they even know I'm there. They

41:52

know that a rope came from somewhere and told work

41:54

out They definitely saw

41:56

you shoot the roof. Yeah, you could see

41:59

50 feet This adult magician

42:01

dog shot this round. This

42:04

is crazy. I

42:06

did only put the head on. So still they're like

42:08

a magician in a mask. I

42:13

think at this point you could play this

42:15

office like we're doing trying

42:18

to entertain you. Two

42:20

daggers slice into the

42:22

OT guy. Isn't

42:25

that entertaining? Spring

42:29

blood across the crowd. He does

42:31

a lot of damage. Good job,

42:33

Oreo. Chuck. I'm

42:36

not doing anything this way. I'm

42:38

stupefied. I will take the

42:40

round off and it's more helpful to

42:43

me. Okay. I was scream.

42:46

What the fuck? Oh, no. Oh,

42:48

God. No. These fucking

42:50

idiots. Something that

42:53

effect. Um, Rourke,

42:55

you're up now. You

42:57

just got yoinked out of nowhere. I'm

43:00

not getting spanked. So

43:02

I guess can I pull my pants out?

43:06

I don't know. I pulled you bare ass off

43:08

the top of your ass. Well,

43:11

I don't know. How else do you

43:13

get spanked? I think it depends on

43:15

your imagination. Home viewer,

43:17

home glistener. Oh, my God.

43:21

I just imagine that they would pull my

43:23

pants down. Not in

43:25

a sexual way, but just a purely you got a spank

43:27

on skin. Well, yeah, you got

43:30

to like, you got to

43:32

make sure there isn't like a textbook in there or something. You

43:34

know, exactly. A pillow,

43:36

cushion. I was just imagining

43:38

that they would take my

43:40

pants down. Oh,

43:44

boy. I mean, so cuckatish.

43:46

Did they take my pants down? I didn't

43:49

sign up for this sex play. Yeah,

43:53

so I guess I will do that. And then can

43:56

I I guess

43:59

I can't do math. I shouldn't do

44:01

magic right that would be bad. Yeah,

44:04

I mean only if we lose Okay,

44:06

but the odds of them not have

44:08

like like what what's

44:10

worse, right? Okay, these

44:12

motherfuckers attacked and OT

44:15

checkpoint clearly. This is bad. That's

44:17

bad. That's bad They're not gonna like that.

44:19

Yeah, they're gonna respond to that. I feel

44:21

like if they say they hear and they

44:24

use magic That'll be worse. I got

44:26

a soon that's legally worse But

44:29

we're talking like, you know

44:31

poison apples and poison oranges here, you know, it's

44:33

it's it's not a great situation We've

44:36

got all these people killed The

44:39

bloods on your hands now. Okay. Is it

44:41

bad if we kill them? We haven't killed

44:43

anybody yet We want to just kill them

44:45

right cuz they're the OT so we should

44:47

just kill them But the thing is I

44:49

think we want to just make

44:51

them not find Anyone

44:53

and let them go on their

44:55

way. Okay I think the

44:57

toothpaste is out of the tube at this point though

45:00

is the thing. Yes Okay, something

45:02

bad is going to happen something bad has

45:04

already happened. Yeah, I don't I At

45:07

this point probably it's a wash

45:09

but legally Legally

45:12

magic will make the situation

45:14

worse. But again the situation's

45:16

terrible It's

45:19

like you're drowning but now you're drowning

45:21

and lightly boiling water, you know Okay,

45:25

then in that case I Think

45:29

it would be best if

45:31

I were to hold my

45:33

action Until

45:36

so my pants are not up. They're still down

45:41

I hold my action until Until

45:44

Chuck does something because I don't know what to

45:46

do and I don't want to make things like

45:49

super worse So well can

45:51

use your action pull your damn pants up

45:53

goddamn Okay, fine.

45:55

Is that is that my whole action Michael if I

45:57

have to pull my pants up your whole action. Sure

46:00

Okay, doesn't need to be but let's say this

46:02

okay. Yeah, why are you asking if you're gonna

46:04

hold your action regardless? Well, because if if I'm

46:06

gonna hold my action then I won't pull my

46:09

pants up But if it doesn't

46:11

cost anything and then I'll pull my pants

46:13

up because holding action is not a thing

46:15

in fifth edition So it's like Celine. Are

46:17

you doing anything? So

46:22

Celine okay, remind me what I have

46:24

just seen so for what I have

46:26

seen what you're seeing is you see

46:30

Behold their doodle come out of nowhere shoot

46:32

a magical rope that ties around That

46:36

moves through the air in an unnatural way

46:39

Ties around Rourke pulls her to safety

46:41

there and then the Oriole swings in

46:44

and stabs the

46:47

OT guy twice And

46:49

so on top there's OT guy

46:51

and two of these soldiers

46:54

and then down below There's the

46:57

other soldiers and the one OT guy

46:59

and the three archers. Yeah. Yeah, actually

47:01

I I like push all the clowns

47:04

Around me like forward and start

47:06

like a clown like

47:08

stampede I started

47:11

a clown stampede And

47:14

and you get it like clapping Like

47:17

yay, and like we all like

47:19

go forward honking off and everything

47:22

honking and like Push

47:25

them to like go forward and

47:28

just create chaos in general. I

47:30

think all right So I think

47:32

you'll have to persuade them to

47:34

do that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I

47:36

I yes, okay Warren

47:44

fancy clown scary beautiful

47:47

makeup. I am wearing clown makeup

47:50

In real life. Oh, I should have For

47:53

a second I was looking at you like Well,

48:00

guys, that's an 11. Other

48:03

clowns are like, are you fucking nuts?

48:07

No way. That guy

48:09

just got stabbed. Clowns

48:12

can say fuck. Yeah, totally. Yeah. Did

48:15

you say can clowns fuck? Yeah, I know.

48:17

I know clowns can fuck, but can they talk about

48:19

it? No, that they cannot

48:21

do that. It's considerable. I

48:24

well, I don't know. I can't do it. I can't. I

48:27

don't know what I can do. I don't

48:29

know. Right now. Other

48:33

than. I mean, it

48:35

theoretically behooves some of us to

48:37

let there be confusion. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I

48:39

think actually at this point, I think

48:42

at this point, I just get it.

48:44

I just believe I think like

48:46

I melt away through the clowns

48:48

to go back to our our spot

48:51

like our wagon cart. Yeah,

48:54

our car. I never remember what it was.

48:56

Well, we keep changing it. It's

48:58

a non-euclidean space, but it's like a

49:00

carriage pulled by big animals. Yeah. Yeah.

49:03

I think that I at this point, I'm

49:05

like, I just have to remove myself from

49:07

this situation because like they're not looking for

49:09

me, but like literally one of them knows

49:11

me. So despite the

49:13

fact that I have cloud makeup on, I

49:15

am a feared. I do not want to

49:18

be caught by them. So

49:20

sorry, little boy. You're

49:22

on your own screech. Top

49:25

of the round. Top of the round.

49:27

Top of the round. OK, so the

49:29

only attack that's happened right now is

49:31

the Oreo, correct? Yes. I think

49:34

your move was also an aggressive

49:36

thing. Right. Yeah.

49:38

No, I'm not trying to like hang the

49:40

Oreo to dry. I

49:44

mean, it would be characteristic of Screech to do that to

49:46

a war. I don't know that kid is. I

49:49

have never seen. Where's

49:51

Gertie? It's like flashback 15 minutes.

49:54

Yeah, let's do the. Yeah,

49:59

I guess. You said

50:01

two OT one

50:03

injured one injured and then

50:05

five archers five soldiers three

50:07

archers A total ten baddies

50:10

told ten guys. We don't know

50:12

how bad The

50:14

mundane folks are but you

50:17

know, you just say okay, so I want to

50:19

get up to the top of the Get

50:22

to the top of the car next to this OT

50:25

that's already been Been hit

50:28

and I want I want to yell at the

50:30

clowns still here. Oh, yeah, they're all over the

50:32

place I'm no like clowns Screech

50:44

looks at the camera and tugs his collar Yeah,

50:48

I yeah, I would get to the top

50:50

and I would say I said clowns The

50:53

OT I've come to take your right

50:55

to home And

51:00

I want to do a persuasion

51:02

I almost said perception do it

51:07

19 and cost to 21 hit me pies start flying. Yes

51:15

Lethal pies. Yeah, very little

51:17

okay, and then I want to attack this guy do it

51:21

It's like okay. Sorry. I'm just like reasoning

51:23

out right now because it's like the oil

51:25

is in both of them are in costume

51:27

Yeah, so technically technically we don't have any

51:29

like claim over the oil. Do we except

51:31

for screech? Yeah If

51:35

we moved on we're not just letting the oil

51:37

out to dry we're also letting screech because

51:39

I'm about that Like

51:45

if they can like get away and out of costume

51:47

then they won't know why these could just

51:49

be highwaymen Exactly. Yeah, exactly.

51:51

It's true. We were attacked by high

51:53

women our circuit. I don't know these

51:55

guys are attacking us Yeah, because the

51:58

OT help us. Yes It

52:01

looks scary. Now that the clowns are fighting,

52:03

you guys might get lumped in with the

52:05

clowns as you're associated with

52:07

them. I feel like if Celine like

52:10

heard like someone doing a call to

52:12

arm to the clowns, maybe

52:14

she would like look behind her and

52:16

walk back so she'd keep an eye

52:19

on the situation. I think the real

52:21

clown is the person that attacked when

52:23

we had the situation under control. Yeah,

52:27

but you weren't serving justice and that's the

52:29

problem. Listen, I

52:31

had an eight year old boy

52:33

appealed to my ego. Roark assaulted

52:36

someone. All right,

52:39

Steph. Roark deserved her

52:41

spanking. Roark deserved her spanking. She would have got

52:43

better from it. You know what? What?

52:47

How hard was it to remove Celine's collar?

52:49

Remind me. We had magic pliers

52:52

or whatever. Fuck, okay. Bolt cutters or

52:54

whatever they're called. You could like, groth

52:56

them with their own collars. Fudged

52:59

up. You could, you

53:01

could. 20 for the first attack, 23 for

53:03

my second. Yeah,

53:06

that hits. I love that screech is

53:08

rolling so well right now. It's

53:11

a row, you know? You gotta even put

53:13

those numbers in the heart. And also I

53:15

have to. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's

53:19

not rolling just for himself. He's rolling to convince us to

53:21

help. You gotta,

53:23

you gotta, you gotta, you gotta

53:25

be like, oh, that was pretty

53:28

good, but I'm still not convinced.

53:31

I don't know him. Okay. Those

53:33

both hit, Michael? Yes, sir. Okay, three plus

53:35

four, seven, get my 2D6. 20

53:39

damages. 20 damages. Yeah,

53:42

this dude is not looking good. Was

53:45

yelling in action when

53:47

I did that roll? I mean,

53:50

it technically should be. And

53:52

you got the stab, come on. Yeah, I

53:55

know, but I think we can all agree

53:57

it would be better to stab him again.

53:59

What, where do you need? Fuck them. Technically

54:01

what you're doing by holding the action surge

54:03

over Michael's head is you're getting unlimited two

54:05

actions per turn. There's

54:08

no way you could have done all the things you've

54:10

done. So I say keep doing it.

54:12

Like I don't want to use my action surge yet. I'm just

54:14

doing two actions every turn. Yeah,

54:17

but also, also

54:19

don't call extension to it.

54:22

What are you doing? My

54:25

spot. So, all right, let's

54:28

see. You stab this guy twice, right?

54:30

Yeah. And he's looking pretty

54:32

bad. And then from

54:34

the other side, the Oriole comes in

54:36

and finishes him

54:38

off. He stabs him

54:41

right through the heart. Blood

54:44

splatters everywhere. I

54:46

know that Chuck doesn't agree with what we're doing, but

54:48

does he at least think we look cool? Yeah,

54:50

yeah, yeah. I mean, it's pretty violent. It's pretty cool when a

54:53

kid kills somebody. Yeah. I'm

54:55

finding it hard to say it's cool.

55:06

I didn't say, is it cool? Do we

55:08

look cool? There's a difference.

55:11

The big difference. Yeah, there is

55:13

a difference. Yeah, it's true. Like

55:15

many parts in that hit film,

55:17

Kickass were cool. Even though

55:19

I didn't agree with it. She should be going

55:21

to school, beating up on people. Let

55:24

the government handle those drug dealers or

55:27

whatever was happening. Chuck, you're up. Okay.

55:30

I want to try to blend in

55:32

with the confusion and kind of throw

55:34

my body into the OT

55:37

soldiers. And I

55:39

want to start panicking, but

55:41

grabbing out there and be like, oh my God, we're

55:43

under attack. Help me, help me,

55:46

help me. But getting in their way,

55:48

knocking over some of the archers, just

55:50

using my huge, as you said, Michael,

55:52

bat body. I

55:55

would never say that as a plus

55:57

size person myself. I

56:00

like that Tim is a fitted up behalf of

56:02

his character. That was cool. Yeah, so I kind

56:04

of just like jump in the middle of them,

56:07

try to make them have a bad time. What

56:09

would you like me to roll my friend? Could

56:12

you do like a grapple? But we

56:14

could like apply it to multiple people.

56:16

Sure. You know, I don't know. We're

56:19

in the RP territory. Yo,

56:21

Nat's one who gives a fuck. Oh my

56:23

god. The Lord shines upon

56:25

this murder. They

56:27

are very confused. Yeah, yeah.

56:29

Yeah, because it's like, I'm

56:31

not necessarily in battle

56:33

grappling, right? But that does feel like

56:36

the best thing to roll for it.

56:38

But basically just like getting in their

56:40

way, causing ruckus and mayhem, you know,

56:42

not anything 1000% mechanical, right? But

56:45

you know, just make a make it

56:47

a problem for them. And like a number

56:49

of clowns have sort of filled the space as

56:51

they've moved. So they're kind of

56:53

being like cut off. The

56:56

soldiers are kind of being cut off from the rest of the

56:58

OT. And you

57:00

know, maybe they were looking for that guy to

57:02

give them answers what to do. So

57:04

if we throw in a little more confusion, maybe

57:06

like, oh brother attack, please, as I'm just like,

57:08

slap in their hands, stop touching your bow. Quit

57:10

it. Like,

57:13

I'm panicking. I'm panicking. Running

57:16

into them to make them like knock

57:18

their arrows over off of their back.

57:20

Exactly. Breaking their bows.

57:22

Yeah. You have a body.

57:25

What? You have a big body. Oh, thanks. Big

57:28

and strong. I'm huge. All

57:30

right, Rourke. There's one

57:33

unendered OT person. There's five soldiers

57:35

that have been sort of shuffled away from the

57:37

rest of the group. And then there's three archers.

57:40

I'm going to try to shuffle away because I

57:42

feel like if I stay in this place any

57:44

longer, I'm going to do magic because

57:47

I can't do anything except for

57:49

I guess I could. I

57:51

don't know. Can I just throw a dagger at someone? Sure. I

57:54

just I'll throw a dagger randomly into the crowd,

57:56

whichever one. You're going to hit a clown for

57:58

sure. No, no. I'm

58:01

only throwing the dagger randomly at

58:03

the OT people, not our

58:05

people. Are your pants still down? Yes.

58:08

Oh my God. Okay, do you want to

58:10

go for a mage a knight or an

58:12

archer? Sorry, mage soldier or archer? Well,

58:14

I said random, Michael. If I pick, it's

58:17

not very random. I'm saying you have

58:19

to pick. Oh, fine. Okay,

58:21

mage. But I did get

58:23

just an 11 to hit him, so

58:25

I'm too distracted with my pants around my

58:28

ankles. Screech's next turn is gonna

58:30

be grappling your pants up. You

58:32

unfortunately miss. I'm so sorry.

58:35

Miss everything somehow. Dang it.

58:37

Okay, that's fine. Well, then I'd like to

58:40

try and shuffle away into the crowd as

58:42

best as I can. Do you want

58:44

to roll a stealth? Hmm, I

58:47

guess. Or you can do a

58:49

performance to try to blend in with the clowns. Okay,

58:52

they're both the same, so. A

58:55

19? Let's do a

58:58

performance to pretend

59:00

to just be silly. You

59:02

feel like you blend in. You're

59:05

feeling confident. All right, Celine.

59:07

Is the Oriel, where's the Oriel right now? What's

59:09

he doing? The Oriel is wiping

59:12

his blades on the cloak of

59:14

the OT that

59:17

he just murdered. I mean, we're probably

59:19

posing, right? Like, we probably gotta pose.

59:21

Oh my god. Licking

59:24

the blade. What's

59:27

Barnabas doing right now? Barnabas

59:29

is like nowhere to be seen. He's

59:31

gone, he's just gone, okay. Cause

59:35

okay, let me talk out what I'm

59:38

deciding amongst right now. This part of me

59:40

was thinking, like, could I just like go

59:42

up there and like grab the

59:44

Oriel and be like, come on, bang. And like, get

59:46

him to take his costume. Cause wait, do we know?

59:48

We know. Bro, we all know. The cat's out of

59:50

the bag. We're not saving this. We

59:53

have to kill all these? How are you gonna

59:55

explain that guy killing a guy? Yeah, I guess

59:57

that's true. But I can't just do magic though.

1:00:00

Leave no witnesses. Wait, who said that?

1:00:02

Huh? I mean, OK, I guess that's true.

1:00:04

Honestly, those are conscious. That's actually true, though, because

1:00:06

well, as far as like because

1:00:08

my brain was like, they'll know I'm doing magic.

1:00:11

Like, oh, but when people that really matters about

1:00:13

like sensing the magic or the OT.

1:00:16

Yeah, you should just cast darkness on

1:00:18

the other OT person. Yeah. Screech can

1:00:20

just go. Yeah. Dark Knight mode.

1:00:22

I'm going to do that. I'm going to.

1:00:24

So yes, or not right. So

1:00:27

Celine is like in in the clowns.

1:00:29

And is that legally a spell for you or

1:00:32

like a feature? Because you might be able to

1:00:34

argue your way out of it. Or

1:00:36

you can just like ready counterspell. I mean, well,

1:00:38

it literally is just magical darkness.

1:00:40

Spreads from. Yeah. But I think you have

1:00:43

it from your like. Yeah. Subclass

1:00:45

or whatever. Right. But

1:00:48

why does that matter, though? It's like

1:00:50

a little different. It's like a little different. I've

1:00:52

I've thought this through, too. So like after we take

1:00:54

them all out, we will

1:00:56

turn the wagons around and pull them backwards so

1:00:59

that when they come to investigate the crime scene,

1:01:01

they think we're going the other way. Yes. There

1:01:04

will only be one set of wagon trails.

1:01:07

That's where I carried you. Yeah,

1:01:11

no, I I I will I will cast

1:01:14

darkness on the other OT. My

1:01:17

old schoolmate fucker. It

1:01:20

gets real dark suddenly. We don't want to kill

1:01:22

her yet. How does everyone respond?

1:01:24

Like, I guess everyone like, oh, there's

1:01:27

probably gas. Yeah, because like that is

1:01:29

like that is magic. Like that is straight

1:01:31

up magic. I mean, people

1:01:33

came to see somebody get magically spanked.

1:01:36

So they're they're ready for it. They're

1:01:38

excited. Yeah. Gosh, magical

1:01:41

darkness has developed

1:01:43

our our mage

1:01:45

friend. They think about that. How

1:01:47

big of an area is

1:01:49

it? It's a sphere with a 15 foot

1:01:51

radius. Got it. So

1:01:54

that's how I get more than just her. That's going

1:01:56

to get like everyone around. Yeah, because a bunch of

1:01:58

people. All right. So you see. her

1:02:00

misty step out of it. Great

1:02:02

thing is you can cast two

1:02:05

spells per round. So she's going

1:02:07

to. Fuck, he's using it against.

1:02:11

We can do it. He could do it. God damn it. This

1:02:14

isn't fair. That's unfair,

1:02:16

Michael. Michael, that seems unfair. And

1:02:19

also, wait a second, though. Can she misty?

1:02:21

I cast it on her. Oh,

1:02:23

you cast it on her? Yeah, I cast it on

1:02:25

her. Oh, it's actually on her. Yeah. Well, yeah. I'm

1:02:27

curious if you know if it's cast on you or

1:02:30

if you're just like, yeah,

1:02:32

because I it's a point you choose within

1:02:34

range and I did it on her. All

1:02:36

right. I love that. Let's say that suddenly

1:02:38

the that this is great. I

1:02:41

you see the big 30 foot

1:02:45

ball of darkness suddenly shifts.

1:02:48

It suddenly goes 30 feet to the

1:02:50

left. What

1:02:52

the fuck? And then you

1:02:54

hear a gurgled yell of

1:02:58

upsetness from inside of it. Dret.

1:03:00

But that does mean that the

1:03:02

darkness is no longer covering the

1:03:04

top of the making

1:03:07

sure that the the magic person can't

1:03:09

see is super helpful. Yeah,

1:03:11

yeah, that's better. No, it is. It's

1:03:15

great. The archers

1:03:17

turn and help

1:03:20

me. Help me. Help. A

1:03:23

number of arrows are going to

1:03:25

go flying up towards screech. And

1:03:28

and the Oreo. What number? A

1:03:30

number. Probably

1:03:32

three. God, I think we're fine,

1:03:34

though. I think it's six, actually.

1:03:37

Six arrows total from three people.

1:03:39

That's too many. Like you've never

1:03:41

attacked twice in a turn. Yeah,

1:03:43

because I'm allowed. And

1:03:46

maybe you are too. I don't know. All right. Does

1:03:48

a 19 hit your armor class

1:03:50

screech? Obviously, does a 17 hit

1:03:52

your armor class if it meets

1:03:54

a beats? All

1:03:59

right. How about a

1:04:01

14? No.

1:04:03

All right, so you get an arrow stuck in

1:04:05

you, or two arrows stuck in you for 14 piercing

1:04:08

damage. Sorry, for

1:04:10

16 piercing damage. That's

1:04:13

nothing. One

1:04:16

of my friends will heal me. Why? Do

1:04:20

I have any friends? And Oriole also gets

1:04:22

hit with one arrow. I'm sorry, really

1:04:24

quick. There's a person in the chat who

1:04:26

is actually only on episode 64, and

1:04:29

I just saw that they just asked. I

1:04:31

do have one question. Are they still

1:04:33

as unhinged as the old days? Like,

1:04:35

well, what an episode we get into

1:04:37

so often. Short

1:04:43

answer. No, long answer. What have

1:04:45

we gotten ourselves into yet again?

1:04:50

Like, to me, this is so funny because this

1:04:52

feels like this feels like the incident that starts

1:04:54

a war. Yes. I

1:04:56

know. It

1:04:59

is hilarious to me, by the

1:05:02

way. Like, we've been skirting around

1:05:04

the OT issue and what

1:05:06

we're going to do about it. We've

1:05:08

been so safe. We leave Screech alone

1:05:11

for six seconds, and he finds a

1:05:13

child, an evil child, that

1:05:15

gets him to strike the first

1:05:17

shot. It's essentially chucky. All right,

1:05:19

which one of you fuckers is

1:05:21

Archduke Ferdinand? I literally just bopped

1:05:23

it. I was literally

1:05:26

googling Archduke Ferdinand to remind

1:05:28

myself of the whole situation

1:05:30

to be like, how similar is this to

1:05:32

that? I don't

1:05:34

know if Tim saw me doing that,

1:05:37

but... You're

1:05:39

always googling over there. To be fair, this is

1:05:41

kind of Michael's fault. He knew what would happen.

1:05:43

You have to know what would happen. Yeah, I

1:05:45

remember watching a Matt

1:05:48

Colville video about like, yeah,

1:05:50

use your NPCs to get your players

1:05:52

to do stupid shit because players are

1:05:54

so risk-a-first. So it's like, yeah.

1:05:56

That's actually a really good point. Give them

1:05:58

a war monger. a recurring buddy next to

1:06:01

him and then eventually be like, okay. A

1:06:03

murderous child is like, let's get him. Sometimes

1:06:05

you just like get, even, you know, you

1:06:07

get in the mode of like my DM,

1:06:09

my DM is having an NPC tell me

1:06:11

that's what he wants to do. And it's

1:06:13

like, well, Michael says he would have a

1:06:15

good time, not a long time. So, you

1:06:17

know, it's like, what happens happens. He wins

1:06:19

regardless. And in this case, he double wins,

1:06:21

which that's true. The math is a little

1:06:23

confusing. I'm having such a good time. Screech

1:06:27

has one week. The screech has many

1:06:29

weaknesses, but one of them is

1:06:31

definitely wards. I think we

1:06:33

all know this. He wants the wards to think he's cool

1:06:35

and down to cloud. It's

1:06:37

holistically wards as in he'll do it or

1:06:39

they say, and then he constantly forgets them.

1:06:41

And then he gets too many. His weaknesses

1:06:44

are wards and wives. Yeah, that's true. Remember

1:06:46

that. We gotta

1:06:48

start out. I mean, he's got his own damn

1:06:50

army of ex-wives. Yeah, Michael, is he married to

1:06:53

any of the people here? I

1:06:55

don't know. He

1:06:58

never knows. Could be.

1:07:00

Janet? Speaking

1:07:03

of Screech, Screech, you're up. Oh

1:07:05

my God. OK, so there's chaos

1:07:07

everywhere. Yeah. And blood. I still want to

1:07:10

be in the darkness, so I'm going to

1:07:12

leap into like I can see the sphere

1:07:14

because I'm not in it. So I would

1:07:16

be able to go to the center knowing

1:07:18

that it's going to be centered on this

1:07:20

person. And I can see like I think

1:07:22

we decide like the blind side does

1:07:24

let me see in this thing within my 10 foot

1:07:26

range. Yes. Yes. Because you can

1:07:28

you're just hearing is what we write.

1:07:30

Yeah. I'm going to jump into the

1:07:32

center. And then I want

1:07:36

to I want to grapple this

1:07:40

other this other mage. OK,

1:07:43

so lanes old school. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't think

1:07:45

he doesn't know. This is like, no, he doesn't know

1:07:47

that. Can you flip him? We did. It

1:07:50

took us forty nine episodes to flip

1:07:52

you. So you'll see. Yeah, and this

1:07:54

is not a buddy. Yeah, but you

1:07:56

still hung out like this was not

1:07:58

like a friend. This was we I

1:08:01

think there was tension. Yeah. Okay. Yeah.

1:08:03

Yeah. I killed his person apparently. Oh

1:08:05

shit. They were annoying. I didn't like them for

1:08:08

the crime of You

1:08:10

shall die man if I had that power

1:08:12

my real life a lot of will

1:08:14

be dead Well, I

1:08:17

want to I want a worm tongue in

1:08:19

this this mages ear I don't be like

1:08:21

be like renounce the OT you could still

1:08:23

be saved Jesus roll

1:08:27

persuasion Okay, I got

1:08:29

a 19 plus 2 Michael 21

1:08:33

hit me you hear Over

1:08:36

my dead body on

1:08:38

my next turn. I'm gonna say okay And

1:08:44

still do stuff like what No,

1:08:46

Michael said I could still do stuff before even

1:08:48

actually search. Yeah, you should actually search this time

1:08:50

so that yeah I'll

1:08:53

get it out of the way All

1:08:56

as an offering of goodwill Michael here's an

1:08:58

action search. Thank you Fuck

1:09:03

that's gonna be a nine to hit this

1:09:05

person that I'm already holding That

1:09:10

will miss okay, okay, okay, but wait

1:09:12

wait, they can't see do you get

1:09:15

advantage? Oh, maybe cuz you can can't

1:09:17

see and they're grappled Cuz yeah, cuz

1:09:19

I'm gonna grapple shut up You

1:09:30

have advantage do it bitch, okay Well

1:09:33

that second rule was bad to do

1:09:35

that what the hell that was 11,

1:09:38

but I still got my second attack All right 17

1:09:41

that hits okay Three

1:09:46

Four seven I think I forget if

1:09:48

I if I hit the second if

1:09:50

I miss the first attack But hit the second attack. Do I

1:09:52

still get my sneak attack or is it gone? Yeah, okay good

1:09:56

It only triggers after you hit so seven 15

1:10:03

damage. Ouch. They say,

1:10:06

okay. The Auriel plunges

1:10:08

into the archers and

1:10:11

just starts stabbing right and left. Oh my

1:10:13

god, this kid is crazy. What

1:10:16

is happening? It's so cool. You

1:10:18

know what? I might be his ward. That's

1:10:20

fine. And

1:10:23

you just, you see like a little, uh,

1:10:25

see a little cloud of blood

1:10:27

and mist coming from his area.

1:10:30

Uh, Chuck, the soldiers seem

1:10:33

to not, they seem to be

1:10:35

a little unnerved,

1:10:37

let's say. All right.

1:10:40

What do you mean unnerved? Like they're

1:10:42

just gonna, they're not, they don't seem

1:10:44

to be drawing their weapons

1:10:46

and taking aggressive action. Oh,

1:10:48

okay. They're kind of freaked out actually,

1:10:50

it seems like. They're revolutionaries

1:10:53

I see. Yeah. Oh

1:10:55

shit. That changes a lot. Cause now

1:10:57

I feel bad about hurting them. Well,

1:10:59

cause I, we're, we're Chuck,

1:11:02

is it all possible for Chuck and Celine to

1:11:04

like be near each other? Like what I feel

1:11:06

like if there's like, if I can see you,

1:11:08

I would probably come over to where you are.

1:11:10

Uh-huh. Because, and the reason I'm saying that, I

1:11:13

guess what I'm struggling with right now is am I

1:11:15

going to try to kill my old classmates? I feel

1:11:17

it, it seemed like that's going to be the answer

1:11:19

here because I can rally

1:11:22

them psychic Lance her, which is like,

1:11:24

if you know the name of the

1:11:26

target, it attacks them. And I do

1:11:28

know her name cause we

1:11:30

went to school together. That's cool as

1:11:32

hell. Yeah. I mean, I think you have to handle that

1:11:35

one on your own brother. But I'm not asking, but

1:11:37

I'm saying just like, let me do this. Oh

1:11:39

yeah. Cause I'm there are different areas. So they

1:11:42

are. Okay. Yeah.

1:11:45

I mean, these guys probably

1:11:48

aren't great, but I still

1:11:50

don't think Chuck would want to kill them. Right.

1:11:52

If they're not like actively like, you

1:11:54

know, cracking skulls. Yeah. So I guess

1:11:57

seeing them wavering, what is

1:11:59

it insane? These guys seem

1:12:01

to want you to give up. I

1:12:03

guess I know what I'm doing I'm surrendering you

1:12:05

guys should do and then Chuck gets on his

1:12:07

hands and knees and like kind of tries to

1:12:09

bring some of the guys down with them and

1:12:11

and So forth like don't be

1:12:13

don't be heroes. Don't be fools. I

1:12:16

I'm not dying today. I got myself

1:12:18

a damn daughter. Ah I

1:12:21

want to see you tomorrow. I'll tell you

1:12:23

what I don't want to see my own

1:12:25

guts spilled out here Smell

1:12:28

shit my own shit from

1:12:30

my belly. I'll tell you what do

1:12:33

you want that roll? persuasion

1:12:37

with advantage God loves

1:12:39

me. I'm really so good today. That is a

1:12:41

22 I might

1:12:43

start crying a little bit, you know, let's really throw

1:12:45

it in there So

1:12:48

scared these guys are pretty terrified of magic

1:12:50

and and they haven't really come up against

1:12:52

it and Seeing

1:12:55

this darkness come out of nowhere. It's they

1:12:57

they they are giving it up

1:13:00

They serve these guys surrender these

1:13:02

soldiers. Hey, yeah Rourke,

1:13:05

there are three archers left Okay,

1:13:08

and a wounded mage somewhere in the

1:13:10

darkness at this point. They've only seen

1:13:14

They've only seen masked people

1:13:16

doing attacks correct correct. They

1:13:18

didn't notice the darkness either like we're

1:13:20

good there No, they saw darkness. Well,

1:13:23

they saw darkness, but they didn't notice where it

1:13:25

came from they didn't they don't know who cast

1:13:27

it Excellent. Yeah, so so I don't

1:13:29

know that like you guys want to open the attack

1:13:32

How does screech look you

1:13:34

can't see him. I can't see him. I can

1:13:36

you the dark ease of the dark He looks

1:13:38

like a magician dog The

1:13:43

ariel took some damage he took an

1:13:45

arrow. Well, I don't know him. He is

1:13:47

some random child. Who's this white child? I

1:13:50

don't know him So

1:13:54

I'm not gonna get arrested

1:13:56

for the OT for the ariel, but I

1:13:58

might do it for screech because he's rich

1:14:01

and he gave me screech bucks. I used to

1:14:03

be rich. Yeah,

1:14:05

I got 31 hit points. That seems not a

1:14:07

lot. So I think I'll go over there. I

1:14:09

mean, my max is 47. Oh,

1:14:12

okay. Yeah, I'm okay. Yeah, I don't think

1:14:15

you need to out yourself for me. Okay, no,

1:14:17

then I will just, I guess I'll hang

1:14:19

back and I'll try throwing another dagger at

1:14:22

an archer. Okay, do it. Oh,

1:14:26

20, not naturally. You

1:14:29

hit. Oh my God, max

1:14:31

damage, six damage. Geez. Get

1:14:35

their asses. All right, you'd nail

1:14:37

one of the archers. They don't even know where

1:14:39

the knife came from. And they're

1:14:41

like, what the? What

1:14:44

is happening? And then, you know, the

1:14:47

oral comes across and like cuts her

1:14:49

knee and they're like, Jesus Christ. Oh

1:14:51

my God, this kid. This

1:14:54

bird is child. What the

1:14:56

actual? Celine. Okay,

1:14:59

I'm gonna do this. So you see the

1:15:02

darkness drops because

1:15:04

I'm about to guess another spell. Is

1:15:07

that spell concentration? Oh

1:15:11

no, it's instantaneous. So yeah, just do it.

1:15:14

Oh, I ate it better. Perfect, okay. Beautiful,

1:15:16

I love it. So no one's gonna know what's going on. I

1:15:19

mean, that's not, forget, Celine is

1:15:21

shouting and magic liquid in

1:15:23

the back. Well. I mean, I know we

1:15:26

kind of yada yada. Everyone's yelling in

1:15:28

this loud. We yada yada, but I do

1:15:30

think it was so much fun finally playing

1:15:32

Baldur's Gate. And everyone's like, oh, it is

1:15:34

like that. It is like that. Because you

1:15:37

like literally have a sorceress have a way

1:15:39

to cast silently. And if that's such a

1:15:41

big deal for them to have that feature

1:15:44

not having it means. How loud

1:15:46

do I have to be though? Can't I be

1:15:48

whispering it? No, Celine,

1:15:51

I mean mechanically. But also I

1:15:53

think it's loud right now. I think everyone's like yelling in

1:15:55

the snow. That's why Rock is able to throw daggers and

1:15:57

get away with it. Yeah, exactly. Okay,

1:15:59

okay. True like Michael said

1:16:01

they don't know it's like your person inside is

1:16:03

like oh, there's someone casting magic over These are

1:16:05

someone is they don't you probably figure it out.

1:16:07

They could dorks don't they could figure it out.

1:16:09

Yeah I'm

1:16:16

going to cast Relithim

1:16:19

psychic Lance on her. I

1:16:21

wish I say her name

1:16:23

out loud Which

1:16:26

is does she roll or do

1:16:28

you? As she rolls, it's an

1:16:30

intelligence check Hopefully

1:16:33

she's a sorcerer to roll the three Yeah,

1:16:38

I thought she looked kind of dumb Well,

1:16:42

that's gonna be 7d6 psychic Jesus

1:16:47

that's that's too many 25 psychic

1:16:49

damage to her. What does it look like when

1:16:51

you kill her? You don't

1:16:53

know Yeah,

1:16:56

that's right So,

1:17:00

you know what describe it anyway screech sees it I can

1:17:02

see through the darkness, right? I

1:17:04

guess I can see through my own darkness. I can't

1:17:07

I can't see Okay. So when

1:17:09

I attack someone with this second legs Can I

1:17:11

like feel that they're like not there for me

1:17:13

to attack anymore? I think so

1:17:15

I think you could I think you know you

1:17:18

killed her. Okay, so then I do I

1:17:20

can see it though I'm sure she's doing I don't

1:17:23

like this. Yeah Yeah, yeah,

1:17:25

because again like a shimmery lance of

1:17:27

psychic power From

1:17:29

my forehead Good

1:17:31

thing you're not crazy tall. Yeah. Yeah,

1:17:33

exactly. So yeah, so she

1:17:37

in the darkness just this like Lances

1:17:40

of psychic power just goes. Let's say

1:17:42

straight to her forehead And she just

1:17:44

crumbles to the ground and I let the

1:17:47

darkness go. Oh, yeah And

1:17:50

so everyone just sees a darkness go away this

1:17:52

this crumpled Oh team

1:17:54

member on the ground Like with no

1:17:56

like words just well, it's just

1:17:59

just someone's but not from this Like screech was

1:18:01

trying to hold her up and she just becomes

1:18:03

dead weight. He's like, oh the

1:18:05

darkness goes up You're holding her like I didn't do that and the

1:18:09

the archers are also

1:18:11

surrendering and That

1:18:14

is we're gonna have to figure

1:18:16

out next week. What happened here?

1:18:19

What what the hell happened here? What happened here?

1:18:23

Justice there's gonna be some implications because

1:18:25

I feel like so I'm just gonna

1:18:27

say this I feel like so lead

1:18:30

is gonna Well, she

1:18:32

killed her own classmate because of this. I think it's

1:18:34

the lady might get a little mad at Screech. Oh

1:18:40

How dare you assume there'd be consequences

1:18:42

from it's weird Cuz

1:18:46

like honestly the oil is so

1:18:48

cool You

1:18:51

would have done it too I Respect

1:18:55

it Hey, man, sometimes

1:18:57

you gotta you know the phrase shade or

1:18:59

get off the pot What if you

1:19:01

just have big diary all over the place

1:19:03

and you know really Yeah

1:19:10

blast ass Well, thank

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you so much for joining us here on

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great news House of Dragons season 2

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Jennifer Cheek and speaking of content hole we

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is this what you tweeted about earlier

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glitches to do it. Whoa. That's

1:22:38

cheating. Yeah. Yeah, I think so. I think that counts

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as cheating. I mean, I can do it without, but

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I'm not gonna. Why would you want to? Right.

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