0:00

THE END

0:30

Greetings adventurers!

0:33

I am your dungeon master Michael

0:35

Damaro and my pronouns are he

0:37

him. Hi, my name's Nika

0:40

and my pronouns are she her.

0:42

I play Rourke. Hey everybody, it's great

0:45

to be here. Thank you so much for having

0:47

me. My name is Tim Lanning, my pronouns are

0:49

he him. And I play Chuck. Hey

0:51

everyone, I'm Jennifer Sheik, my pronouns are she

0:53

her and I am playing Celine Von Espur.

0:56

Hi, my name is Mike Bachman, my pronouns are

0:58

he him and I play Screech Echo. We

1:02

said we weren't gonna talk about it.

1:04

Who said that? I didn't. Michael's jealous

1:06

because your birthday is

1:08

like over superceding

1:11

his. Is like a full week ago.

1:13

Yeah. Yeah, and Jennifer's

1:15

birthday was yesterday. No! No,

1:18

they're one day apart, meaning one day

1:20

is in between each of theirs, aka

1:22

Monday. Yeah. That doesn't sound right to

1:24

me. I don't get it. It's

1:26

one day apart. My birthday

1:28

was on Mother's Day. The only

1:31

apart from your guys' birthdays is

1:33

Monday right now. Yours was Sunday,

1:35

his was Tuesday, one day apart.

1:37

What time were you born, Jennifer?

1:40

Oh, in the afternoon. I forget. I'd have to go.

1:42

I've got a note on my phone. Bachman, have you

1:44

done your birth chart? Do you know what your rising

1:46

and your moon are? Oh, I don't give

1:48

a fuck about that. I do. What's the time

1:50

and date location of your birth? I'm

1:53

Mark Hat, Michigan. Michigan? Yeah.

1:55

What the hell? Yeah. That

1:58

changes everything. birth

2:00

certificate. Am I not a Taurus anymore? What does it

2:02

change? No, no, no. You

2:04

are still a Taurus. You'll still be a Taurus. Why

2:06

can't I... I used to have a

2:08

note in my phone with what time I was

2:10

born. I don't know what time I was

2:12

born. I can't find it. Should we do

2:14

this not now? Yeah, I was actually just

2:17

thinking about how we've got our fuck around

2:19

time when the call starts before we go

2:21

live. We've got our fuck around time after

2:23

the call goes live. Then we're

2:25

like, all right, let's get started. Let's start recording. And then we

2:27

fuck around on the recording. Yeah, yeah, we got to. And then

2:29

we do the podcast. We love to fuck around. I was born

2:32

at 3.02 PM. We

2:34

have to get in the right mindset. Exactly. It's

2:37

like we're warming up. We warmed up the warm up

2:39

and now we're warming up. This

2:50

is the appetizer. We had the

2:53

pass around, the amuse-bouche. We're into

2:55

the small plates. The more

2:57

that what we say is recorded, the better

2:59

we have to get it all out because

3:01

like, okay, this is just on Twitch and

3:03

it's slightly harder to get. This is on

3:05

Twitch and an MP3. That's

3:08

like they're clearly going to be able to yell at us

3:10

for that. That's true. No, I love it. I

3:13

love to get passed around. Also, Dr. Nye messaged in the

3:15

chat, would you send me that information and then I can

3:17

do it on off screen. What are you going to do

3:19

with it? I'm going to find out

3:21

your birth chart. I want to see what your

3:23

moon sign is and your rising. You're

3:27

going to fucking voodoo doll me or

3:29

something. No. Previously

3:32

on Greetings Adventures. Well,

3:35

can you guys not eat us? We're going to like

3:37

let you out of here so you don't burn to

3:39

death. Would snap your bones

3:42

with teeth if good. Okay, sir. You

3:44

know some words, obviously. Thank you. Rourke,

3:47

I'm sorry. I think

3:49

we got a old yell of those motherfuckers. I

3:52

try and rattle open the cage for the

3:54

cute one. Oh, yeah, of course

3:56

you can. No, we're going to die.

3:58

But almost the second. The watches I'm

4:01

done with a deep are settled.

4:04

Adviser to Salinas and then when he

4:06

was also. Five

4:09

wards have burst from this

4:11

case. Of.

4:14

Get all of them right now

4:16

with one fire. They're

4:20

all your existence of point

4:22

where you realize that your

4:24

new flute can summon. Ah,

4:27

I'm an entire swarm of

4:29

rats. Michael Can I. Do

4:32

animate dead on next year org.

4:34

Know that why Verne to receive or

4:36

is it just potentially up? There are

4:38

what it's like. beginners: How the larger

4:40

Michael can you talk that. Either

4:43

pretty dumb. The road crew dragon.

4:46

Our our own let me go up there.

4:50

Our do this. Every

4:54

dog to. Retrieve.

4:56

Scared. Or named like

4:58

food and stuff a high

5:01

he was tear year and

5:03

sometimes. We. Can do fly with him.

5:07

Last. Two years. Survival.

5:10

You want to be in charge of

5:12

all the beast now that if Merv

5:14

that guy was your name. As

5:17

do birth. name

5:22

is breath say he

5:24

was real nice versus

5:26

do for I can

5:28

say that ah missed

5:30

bird or. What

5:34

Do you mean? A. Good

5:41

fact you get back to the caravan.

5:43

We asked to talk. Something's.

5:45

Not right here. How say figured

5:47

out my sidekick yet? I

5:54

was just thinking that. Out

5:57

normally team up. You

6:01

know, maybe I can- But I'm sorry, come again. I can't-

6:03

it's hard to hear you through the mask. Can you take

6:05

it out? You shall never

6:08

reveal my identity. Okay, alright.

6:11

Well, uh- Anyway,

6:13

there's this new clown. Yeah?

6:18

And he's like, huge

6:21

and jacked. Uh-huh. Um,

6:24

he's really dogshit at being

6:26

a clown. I

6:29

don't think he's a clown. Don't

6:31

you get what I'm saying? I thought we were in

6:33

the same wavelength. I- I'm

6:36

not. That's- that's both

6:38

Bachman and that's uh- and that's uh-

6:40

This is a new guy. He's huge.

6:43

He's like six foot eight.

6:45

Yeah? He's got big muscles. Oh,

6:48

okay. Alright. That's

6:50

what I meant by jacked. Yeah. It's

6:53

youth culture. I guess you don't understand.

6:55

I mean, I'm adult. He

6:58

has- but- Chuck hasn't even-

7:00

hasn't been like acting like a clown, has he? Didn't

7:03

you just get elected king of the clowns?

7:05

No, king of the jugglers. Please. King of

7:07

the jugglers? You- you savor from that. Yeah,

7:09

that- that's very rude. Are we talking about

7:11

somebody else? I don't know who the Oreo

7:13

will talk to. This isn't Chuck. Huh? This

7:15

is Bobo. Okay, so this is not

7:18

a clown that I've heard of before. Yeah, no,

7:20

it's a new guy. This is what I'm telling

7:22

you. Oh my god. Oh, okay. Okay,

7:24

I thought- Listen, I thought

7:26

you were talking about a friend of mine, and I

7:28

got confused. Uh, that's on

7:30

me. I mean, I

7:33

am the world's greatest detective. Except

7:35

for most of the time. So

7:37

what do you want to do about it? You want to

7:40

kill him? I just- I think he's trying to sabotage

7:42

the caravan. I was following

7:44

him the other day. That's

7:47

a bit super hard to do. Yeah, well, you should probably

7:49

just use your regular voice. You want to take that mask

7:51

off? I will. No, this is

7:53

my normal voice. I'm

7:56

sorry. And he- he unscrew-

8:00

He loosened all the lug nuts on one of

8:02

the wheels of one of the

8:04

caravans. Why would you do that? Did

8:06

you tighten them again? He didn't take them

8:08

all the way off. So I thought it was fine. You

8:11

gotta have those lug nuts properly tensioned

8:13

or that wheel is going to come

8:16

right off. I know you're young. You

8:18

don't know these. Your generation doesn't know these kind of things. I'm

8:20

50. Excuse

8:25

me. I'm an adult. Okay,

8:28

you just said you're using some youth

8:30

terms a minute ago. I'm

8:32

a little confused. I

8:34

have a nephew. Okay,

8:37

okay. You're kind of

8:39

short. That's

8:41

that for Po of Nothing. Bro! Anyway,

8:45

can you help me keep an eye on this guy?

8:47

What? I can tell that you

8:50

really need me. You throw the smoke bomb

8:52

on the ground and it disappears. We

8:55

both disappear actually. I

9:00

know what happens when a smoke bomb goes

9:02

down. Like you disappear. It's what you do.

9:04

So I'm gone too. He doesn't disappear from

9:06

me leaving me standing there like a dumbass

9:08

wondering where he went. He's also wondering where

9:10

I went. You both go to the front

9:13

door. Yeah, we're probably trying to squeeze

9:15

past each other to get out the same door. I

9:19

throw my smoke bomb. It hits his smoke

9:21

bomb midair. Oh, what if they're directly opposite

9:24

smoke bombs and that was clear as day?

9:27

He didn't even tell me how I'm supposed to contact

9:29

him. Like when were we supposed to meet up at

9:31

some point? I mean, I

9:33

know where he lives. He doesn't think I do but I do. I

9:36

mean, look man. What

9:40

do you want me to say? Where

9:42

was this happening? Just this interaction just

9:45

then? It was like behind one of

9:47

the trailers. Okay.

9:51

Can I do a perception to see if I can see

9:53

where he went? Yeah, sure. Totally. Well,

9:58

there's a lot of smoke. You got to understand. twice

10:02

as much as normal. I

10:04

don't even know why I'm looking because it

10:07

doesn't matter. Seven. You do not

10:09

see where he went. Okay. I

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12:22

right, where do we wanna go next? To

12:24

sleep, long rest. Do

12:26

you have like a trailer or like

12:29

thing to do? Like we stand together, right?

12:31

Okay. Yes, you do. We have a place

12:33

to stay. As you,

12:35

I'll say that as you came into sort of

12:37

camp, Barnabas waved

12:40

you down and he was like, oh,

12:43

I don't remember what my voice was at

12:45

all. I feel

12:47

like he was more like this. He was like,

12:49

like this, he was like this. I'm Barnabas. Yeah,

12:51

that's the idea. That sounds all right. Yeah. Whoa,

12:54

is that a, is that a wyvern you

12:57

got with you? Yeah. Oh,

12:59

sick. His name's Vern and

13:01

we met this other guy here. I don't know,

13:03

he's kind of part Griffin and green.

13:07

You know, he's the guy that's been with us the whole time. He's

13:09

gonna take care of the animals now. What?

13:13

Yeah, I wizard zapped

13:15

him and that's why he looks like that,

13:17

right, Jim Michael? You got zapped by a

13:19

wizard. We killed that wizard though. Don't get

13:22

us wrong. We stopped there, huh? I got

13:24

zapped by a wizard. See, so that's why

13:26

the Aiken talk and he sounds like that.

13:29

He can talk? Yeah, yeah, there he

13:31

can. Yeah, he can now. Oh. The

13:34

wizard zapped him. It's pretty weird. Okay,

13:36

but I was gonna say we

13:39

probably should, that sounds magical. Yeah, I know,

13:42

we killed him to make sure. We really

13:44

stopped that, right? The wizard in the

13:46

mud. Yeah, it's probably just like residual

13:48

that he's still able to talk.

13:50

It's unreversible. It'll

13:52

wear, maybe it'll wear off, you know. Yeah.

13:55

And then the magic will be detectable. Yeah. We

13:58

can keep this on the DL. though

14:00

right yeah

14:03

what part I like

14:05

that oh yeah we

14:07

didn't do magic we killed a wizard and

14:10

we were doing mob justice it's good yes

14:12

but this talking griffin

14:15

oh I say too close I feel like if an

14:18

OT probably wouldn't like you that's true okay

14:21

yeah we'll keep an eye on him and

14:23

I think it's gonna wear off and he'll

14:25

just go back to normal dumb griffin yeah

14:28

I'm talking all pretty

14:31

soon see see you

14:33

can tell it's fading

14:36

I don't know definitely

14:38

don't enjoy the sound

14:40

of my old voice

14:43

that's for sure yeah

14:45

I really won't not stop talking

14:48

that's for sure yeah yeah yeah

14:50

uh-huh alright so yeah he's gonna

14:52

take care of the animals cuz

14:55

he can talk to them I can talk

14:57

to yeah it's not magic it's

15:00

just it's not magic I can just

15:02

talk to right and he's gonna stop

15:04

talking we get all talking he's gonna

15:06

stop talking to us

15:08

in common and that way

15:11

part of it it's safe I

15:13

think it's not that safe he'll probably have

15:15

to hide sometimes right but

15:17

yeah all right well

15:19

you all should get some rest we're heading out

15:22

in the morning you got a brother that's what

15:24

I do best gotta make

15:26

our way to my notes here

15:28

somewhere well

15:33

oh is that right Brooke Willow that

15:36

sounds right that sounds like a good town okay

15:38

well a little nervous that you didn't quite know

15:40

I'll stop your head but yes Brooke Willow a

15:42

quiet town yeah Michael we want to

15:44

go to bed yeah we didn't

15:49

talk to a bird that said that there's a

15:51

bad guy so I'm going to bed Michael okay

15:54

you all go to bed I'm gonna click that

15:56

long rest button I click the long rest button

15:58

yeah yay I immediately action

16:00

surge as soon as I wake up. You

16:03

just like shoot three out of bed like... As

16:06

soon as I can tell that I'm falling asleep,

16:08

I shoot like nine spells into the area. Like,

16:11

ah, zero spell slots the way you should go to

16:13

bed. I can't go to sleep to die before

16:15

I shoot, too. I got bust. Same

16:18

as me. I'm a little

16:20

level two bust. I clean out

16:22

the pipes there. I got four

16:25

level ones last night. I'll cast my

16:27

damn bust. In the middle of the

16:29

night, you kind of wake up because it's... Clap

16:32

of thunder goes rolling

16:34

across the hills. Something

16:36

like that. We are in the desert, in

16:38

the west, because that happens there for sure.

16:41

You wake up, it's morning, but

16:43

it's really pouring out there. It's

16:45

pouring out there? Pouring. It's

16:48

getting wet. It's getting wet in

16:50

the water. Yeah, it is. And,

16:54

yeah, this car, guys, it's got some

16:56

leaks. Oh, no. As soon as I

16:58

wake up, there's just dripping on my face. Yeah,

17:04

it's like the wet is making

17:06

it smell kind of musty. Oh, come on.

17:09

Like old sour booze and stuff.

17:12

What the hell? It's like bringing all the smells out

17:14

of the wood. It's pretty gross. When

17:17

we camped on campaign, it wasn't

17:19

nearly this bad. You guys should be

17:21

thankful. That being said, it stinks

17:24

we have to fix this as soon as possible. Can we like,

17:26

yeah, is anyone having like incense or something?

17:29

We have candles, probably. I

17:31

have a whole bunch of boner pills. Okay.

17:35

I forgot about those. Yeah, I was like, I don't know where

17:37

they're going to come up, but... Consummonate,

17:39

hounder, bill omen, and I'll stink

17:41

in a different way. I

17:44

also probably shouldn't do magic because

17:46

I feel like Barnumus is getting

17:48

a little... I don't know. I

17:51

just don't want to cut it too close to that thing.

17:54

Yeah, gang, we're going pretty hard on the magic.

17:57

Screech, you're doing great on the

17:59

magic. part so I want to give you that

18:01

the thumbs up for not casting

18:04

any spells but Roar

18:06

Selena and I we got to cut it

18:08

back we need to be judicious of when

18:10

we use our magic and yeah how people

18:12

can see us all that so

18:14

let's just you know let's all just be on the same

18:16

page before we yeah that makes

18:18

sense Roar yes well I think we

18:21

just need to be careful because I just I

18:23

just worry about Barnabas I don't know like

18:25

he's been like okay other than the like

18:27

you know exploiting his labor he's not been

18:29

like particularly dangerous to us what he seems

18:32

like the kind of guy that might like

18:34

turn us in trying to turn us into

18:36

the OC yeah pretty dumb that might

18:38

work out for us we could

18:40

use magic against them so that he didn't

18:42

remember that we

18:45

used magic in the first place and

18:47

then I felt like Celine had a

18:49

really good idea which was also we

18:51

could just kill him yeah honestly you're

18:53

probably right like I don't think that

18:56

anybody here in this circus is more

18:58

magical than me so we probably got

19:01

it under control wow I say talk

19:05

talking to be

19:08

nobody here in the circus is more magical than

19:10

me I mean that's true and I know of

19:12

this is sickly rude but

19:14

regardless you're the only one that was raised

19:17

allowed to do magic we just kind of

19:19

figured it out slash I guess someone up

19:22

there really likes me yeah

19:24

how did you actually even do the

19:26

act like I was taught that

19:29

you know maybe people could do

19:31

magic like the accident or something

19:33

you actually are able to do

19:35

it on command um so me

19:37

and my dad got in a

19:39

car accident toxic waste spilled

19:41

and burned my eyes out and that's why I was

19:43

not able to see and I

19:45

like I'm kidding that's the daredevil all

19:50

right well the camp is

19:52

starting to you know get

19:54

get moving who put these

19:56

balloons everywhere and Karen's getting

19:58

all all hooked up and

20:01

and and they're starting to

20:03

head out okay okay

20:05

two questions really quick have the

20:08

people the people in the group who were

20:10

not screech they're seeing the Orioles

20:13

at all to be seen before

20:15

you saw him when he

20:17

slit the throat of one of the

20:19

Giants yeah okay how sick okay did

20:21

we see did we see that Scrooge was

20:23

talking to him we came back no

20:26

I don't think so now we were behind the building

20:29

did you tell us about this conversation

20:31

yes just now as it as it happens

20:34

so as we're walking outside like it's a beautiful

20:36

morning I'm excited sometimes it's good

20:38

to walk around in the rain wait is okay

20:40

I was gonna say like is it actually

20:43

it's boring yeah is it like muddy is

20:45

it like all buddy and shitty the wheels are all

20:47

very shitty I mean I kind of want to

20:49

go back inside but I get a little bit

20:51

of this right I don't have to deal

20:53

with the mud cuz I'm grappling from

20:55

what there's gotta

20:57

be trees sure it's

21:00

so wet up there yeah you're

21:02

closer to the rain all right I

21:04

stayed directly on the streets the whole

21:06

time so that I never gave my

21:08

rain thanks it really is

21:10

a bad situation cuz it's like well do

21:12

I stay inside where it's like kind of

21:15

wet and it's stinky I

21:17

go outside where it's very wet and

21:19

muddy yeah this is my nightmare Jennifer

21:22

speaking sounds very bad so what

21:25

you say to reach about the clowns

21:27

or something oh yeah I saw that

21:29

Oreo fella and

21:31

he said that there is a

21:33

another there's another clown uh-huh Bo

21:37

Bo Bo a new clown in

21:39

town okay yeah new clown just

21:41

dropped yeah new clown just dropped

21:43

I said he's he

21:45

doesn't think he's a real clown uh-huh but

21:48

like now that I'm saying it out

21:50

loud I don't under I don't

21:52

know like what like why

21:55

we should care uh-huh well

21:57

maybe he's up to no good maybe we're gonna go

21:59

around checking everybody to see if they're up to

22:01

no good. Maybe he's infiltrating the circus

22:04

like we've done. Uh-huh that's

22:06

true. Roark have you have

22:08

you heard any clown

22:10

based data that we should be aware of?

22:14

Um you

22:16

know I have

22:20

heard of Bobo. Bobo was

22:23

a real clown. Did you know this Michael? Huh?

22:25

Maybe. I mean

22:28

Bobo is a pretty the world's

22:30

most I'm a clown name. I

22:32

was looking at it yeah

22:34

Bobo's scary clown looking. Um

22:37

no Michael what can I roll to see if I know

22:39

clown lore? Um you probably

22:43

this is a new guy so you

22:45

you wouldn't know who this guy is.

22:47

Oh. Nika you just

22:49

roll clown actually. This is

22:52

not your clown roll again. You

22:54

can because you do have

22:56

experience you know in the

22:59

circus industry. I rolled a

23:01

nine. That's such a good roll. Is

23:03

it? Yeah you haven't heard of Bobo.

23:06

I actually don't know Bobo. I said that because

23:08

I wanted to sound cool but I am the

23:10

lowest of the clown ladder.

23:13

No one tells me anything. Okay well

23:16

it's good that you had high self-esteem

23:18

there so I respect that. You gotta

23:20

fake it till you make it. Exactly.

23:23

Um so Screech Oriel

23:25

is just like a crazy person then that just

23:28

like like really judges people for not

23:30

being good at clowns or something. He's

23:32

a small-time vigilante. Oh.

23:34

Really I think he's just kind of like feeling out to

23:37

be my sidekick. Sure. Which like

23:40

it'd be nice to have a turnkey sidekick. I feel

23:42

like all these words I'm just trying to kind of

23:44

constantly trying to mold them into what I would want

23:46

a sidekick to be but sure is you

23:49

know truth be told they're they're most of

23:51

the way there. Orphans yeah. They just got

23:54

their priorities out of whack. Yeah. Okay. Since

23:56

you don't think it's a big deal

23:58

the clown I guess. We can ignore it.

24:01

Yeah. Yeah if the clown comes up later. We know

24:03

about it. You know we can deal with it then

24:05

What was it about this clown that

24:07

put the Oreo on edge? He's

24:10

not a real clown. That's all they told me Okay,

24:15

I mean yeah, I guess if he was I don't know what

24:17

am I a detective asking follow-up questions I

24:19

guess I mean if he was out there loosening lug nuts

24:21

or something then yeah, we would have an issue Yeah,

24:24

you know what or like if you

24:26

really big muscle. Yeah Yeah,

24:31

nope that's that's just what goes on up in

24:33

the old noodle if you weren't so busy popping

24:35

balloons I'm

24:47

joking Yeah,

24:49

yeah, you know what now that I met he did

24:52

Loosen some lug nuts, but

24:54

like not all the way. Oh Wait

24:57

what like? Not

24:59

our trailer right Michael

25:03

Dad did not that part did not come up.

25:05

You did not ask him which lug nuts I

25:07

should have like a it what would what's like

25:09

a role for memory where I can just have

25:11

Michael remind me of the Things that I know

25:13

this Michael yeah Which

25:16

trailer did not come up okay?

25:18

I should I should that is true though I should

25:21

be able to play a care since this is all

25:23

fantasy I should be able to play a character with

25:25

a better memory than I have We're

25:28

doing like wishful still bit. Yeah, I

25:30

can remember yeah That's why it was

25:32

so weird people are like you're met again against

25:34

Toby I'm like Toby is

25:37

smarter than anyone on earth has ever

25:39

been ever Generally knows

25:41

and he's like backstories that he

25:43

studies everything he can't met a

25:45

game idiot Yeah, and

25:48

he's a bit so he's a big clown. He's got big

25:50

muscle. I thought he was talking to me Jackie

25:52

it's funny story. I forgot that you were

25:54

king of the jugglers and not the clowns

25:56

uh-huh Uh so I thought he was talking about

25:58

you for a bit. I tried to cover for your ass

26:00

but it wasn't necessary. First

26:03

of all, I am never being caught

26:05

dead with those clowns. That's true.

26:08

Wow, you're a clown-hater. No, no, no. You

26:10

really latched onto that tribalism

26:13

pretty quick. I'm

26:15

not tribal about it. They just keep

26:17

doing shit so I respond back in

26:19

kind. It's the exact same way I

26:21

am on Twitter with AEW versus WWE.

26:24

I'm not the weird one. They're

26:26

weird. I would

26:28

stop if they stopped and I've tried to

26:30

extend the olive branch and they did the

26:33

same and the branch just kept going and

26:35

going and going and it made me embarrassed. Hell

26:38

yeah. Does Chuck say all this? Yeah.

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29:15

So what I'm hearing is we should, well, not for

29:17

one, it sounds like we should check our lug nuts.

29:20

Yeah. And the

29:22

wagon, the trailer, whatever. The Oreo did say

29:24

that they did not check and make sure that they

29:27

were tightened. Okay. Well,

29:29

if we're moving, that's going to be tough. We

29:31

haven't started moving yet. We just, we

29:33

haven't gotten going yet, right? I

29:35

don't know. You're about to start moving. We're

29:37

about to. So we actually needed

29:39

to like, probably have everyone

29:42

check. Oh, we're going to lose so much time. No,

29:44

no, no, everyone can just check their own trailer.

29:47

Maybe we, maybe we suggest it

29:49

to, you know, Barbas. Okay. You

29:52

know, like just, excuse me, we're about to

29:54

take off. Is there anything you want to

29:57

tell me before we get going? Yes. Screech

29:59

to. Tell him what you told me. I'd

30:02

check your nuts. What?

30:05

Okay. Check my... Dreech

30:07

was warned that there's a big spooky

30:10

clown named Bobo the Clown that sucks

30:12

at being a clown. Oh,

30:14

Bobo? No, no, he's great! Oh,

30:16

yeah? He's great. He's new. We

30:19

just picked him up while you guys were... I

30:22

don't know what you were doing. But he's

30:25

great. We were gone that long. Actually, that's not true.

30:27

What am I saying? He's been here for

30:29

a few weeks. Oh. But, yeah, no,

30:31

he's great. He's really strong. So he's

30:33

very helpful. So he's been here that

30:36

long than we have. Okay. And

30:38

it's confusing. And he,

30:40

you know, he's working on

30:42

the clown stuff. It's

30:45

not his number one attribute. Sure. I

30:47

think he'll get there. Well, he loosened your lug

30:49

nuts. What? He

30:52

loosened your lug nuts. Well,

30:54

he wasn't someone's lug nuts, supposedly. That's

30:56

what the rumor is. So I think

30:59

everyone should check. I assume Barnabas

31:01

owns every trailer so in a way it's true.

31:04

Oh, but I had asked him if you could

31:06

go and tighten the lug nuts. Are you sure

31:08

it wasn't? I heard.

31:11

And this is secondhand. So if it turns out

31:13

to not be true, but it's worth a check.

31:16

I heard that he, instead of tightening,

31:18

was loosening. Hmm. Well.

31:22

That's the opposite. Sounds like

31:25

a sort of a... He said,

31:27

she said sort of thing. It's not because you can

31:29

check. Well, yeah, exactly,

31:31

Barnabas. It

31:34

should be safer if we just wait a little bit

31:36

and have everyone check their cart. I

31:38

mean, shouldn't that be part of your

31:40

process, you know, before you head out,

31:42

like to double check that everything is

31:44

good to go? Well, yeah,

31:46

that's why. Okay. Yeah.

31:49

Yes. We will check the lug nuts. You

31:51

usually have Bobo do it, don't you? We have Bobo do it, yes. He's

31:55

not good at a lot of other things. Uh-huh.

31:57

We have him do that. Yeah.

31:59

Maybe just set up first and slide about Bobo, but

32:01

I say we just take a quick

32:04

look see look see Lou, okay? Okay

32:09

Stinky in here Like

32:13

tinctures oils to like soak in

32:16

once it got wet it's so Just

32:18

pretty bad. Well, there's maybe You

32:22

know, you should try to take care of your

32:24

trailer motherfucker. We just got here.

32:26

I mean, I don't want

32:28

you guys to lose your deposit I guess

32:30

what are you talking about? Huh? What

32:33

deposit? It looks like there's some

32:35

leaks. Maybe you could like repair it. I Don't

32:38

understand why we're responsible for The

32:41

condition of the trailer whenever we received

32:43

it just from you. That's a good question It

32:46

seems like something that our

32:48

landowner land owner landlord

32:50

should take care of because we

32:52

are rent

32:54

paying Wait

32:59

If that's the case, then we don't deposit

33:01

if that's the case like then we own

33:03

this the deposit is for ownership then But

33:06

no, you know I would it okay,

33:08

so that means then you you

33:11

own it and therefore are liable for

33:13

all of the maintenance

33:16

care and role

33:18

persuasion Take

33:21

a T4. Thank you You know

33:23

what now that I know he's not gonna check I'm just gonna

33:25

loosen all the lug nuts why I

33:29

was like fuck him take that bitch. I

33:32

got 20. I can't I can grapple.

33:34

I don't need wagons. That

33:36

is successful So,

33:39

okay, so we will have We

33:42

will go ahead and and take

33:44

care of these repairs. I guess. Thank

33:47

you I Do

33:50

I while they're doing the repairs? Can

33:54

I ask a

33:56

little required favor that I like

33:59

to? Did some acquired favor?

34:03

Yeah, what were you thinking of asking? Well,

34:06

as a couple

34:08

of you, I'm thinking, gosh,

34:13

I would go with, Celine,

34:16

you seem pretty smart. And

34:19

Chuck, you're very wise. We

34:21

need someone to ride with

34:23

in the orphan car and

34:26

teach them some, give them some

34:28

lessons. Give

34:30

them some life lessons. Sure, yeah, let's

34:33

do it. Um. Come on

34:35

Celine and I slap our back real hard. You

34:37

look so much at the whatever that

34:40

you're sure to be able to. And Celine's

34:42

life makes up a contact? I said whatever. How

34:46

many orphans you got? Oh, it's hard

34:48

to keep track. They come and go

34:50

so fast. Is there a tree more

34:53

or less stinky than this one? And are there

34:55

more or less holes in the roof of it?

34:59

It's, so we'll probably,

35:02

the one that they sleep in is not great.

35:05

But the one where they do

35:07

the classroom stuff is fine. You'll

35:09

be fine in there. Okay, all

35:11

right, well let's go then. Okay,

35:14

you guys check on the look stuff. We'll be

35:17

with the

35:19

orphans where it's dry and safe. All right, so

35:21

you guys go off with the orphans. Yeah. Or

35:24

towards the orphans and Barnabas

35:26

goes, okay, we'll be checking

35:29

lug nuts. You

35:32

might wanna check in on

35:35

your talking Griffin. I'm

35:38

not sure what, I

35:42

don't know, he's got some strange

35:44

ideas. Maybe you could

35:46

do that. Screech

35:49

and rork. Your

35:52

talking Griffin has been, he's

35:56

been a little rowdier than normal.

35:58

Yeah, he does. He's got

36:01

some funny, so maybe you could just check on

36:03

him. Okay. Like, rowdy

36:05

or how? Yes. What was

36:07

it, got a boner or something? Did you assist him?

36:11

They knocked one of the trailers

36:13

over. Um...

36:15

That doesn't sound like Jermichael. With

36:18

their boner? What are

36:20

you talking about boners? You're

36:22

just not answering my questions. That doesn't

36:25

sound like Jermichael at all. Yeah, seriously. Jermichael,

36:27

if it was Jermichael, you would have

36:29

a boner. But who's Jermichael? That

36:32

doesn't sound like our Wivurn at all. Are

36:34

you talking about Vern? Yes,

36:36

that doesn't sound like Vern at all. What are

36:39

you saying? I'm

36:41

just saying, could you check on him? I

36:43

thought you were gonna check on him. I'm

36:45

checking the lug nuts! No, we were checking

36:47

the lug nuts. You literally just came here

36:49

and told us that we needed to check

36:51

the lug nuts because... You told me to

36:53

check the lug nuts! Absolutely not. I

36:56

just gotta go and get something to

36:58

repair this trailer. My list is getting

37:01

longer by the minute. Okay,

37:03

but it's gonna cost ya. What? Off

37:06

we go. Where did you go? To check on

37:08

Jermichael and change the lug nuts! But

37:15

we're not gonna change the lug nuts instead. We're gonna loosen

37:17

all of them by a quarter of a turn. Yeah,

37:20

yeah, we got torque wrenches. We

37:22

know... No! Why

37:26

do we leave them? We shouldn't

37:29

leave them. Me and you should never leave

37:31

them. One of us has to do

37:33

with them at all times. Which

37:35

one do we wanna do first? Do we wanna do

37:37

classroom first? Jermichael? Yeah, look at him, look at him,

37:39

Jermichael. I don't even know what he's... He barely is

37:41

getting rowdy. I gotta see this boner I hear

37:44

so much about. We gotta hear about his dick

37:46

knocking over all these RVs. Yeah. Sorry,

37:48

caravans? I don't know. I'm just imagining a

37:50

whole bunch of RVs together. Yeah, cuz

37:52

actually... Michael, can you actually describe

37:54

to us what the setup is? Cuz I was like, in

37:56

my brain I was thinking of it like a train. I

37:58

still think it's a train. Is it like a

38:01

train? I also think it's a train. Okay, it's

38:03

like a train that's being pulled by like,

38:05

I have to assume like, 16 horses?

38:07

Steam. Yeah, it's like a big

38:09

train that's pulled by a lot of

38:12

animals. Like they're all connected together. That's

38:14

crazy. Mm-hmm. Maybe it would

38:16

take more than just horses, like what's

38:18

another big fucked up animal? It's Oliphants.

38:20

Oh. But we

38:22

brought an elephant and they were like,

38:24

what the hell? Yeah, that's true. No, this could

38:26

be different though. This kind

38:29

of reminds me of like, Romani Caravans.

38:32

Like, can that be what our caravan looks like?

38:36

What does that look like for the audience and me? Yeah,

38:38

so it's really cool. It's like this

38:41

big, like elaborate, like stagecoach kind of

38:43

thing, but all wood. Oh. It's all

38:45

like wood and it's like a stagecoach

38:47

you can live in. So it's like

38:49

a tiny house stagecoach. And they've got

38:52

a whole bunch of different cool, like

38:54

different colors. And like we could have

38:56

like circus flags and shit and cool

38:58

stuff all over it. That sounds rad.

39:00

Everyone could like decorate

39:03

their own thing. So it's like a

39:05

little float. So there's like the like

39:07

jugglers and then there's like, I don't

39:09

know, like the tight rope walkers, the

39:11

tight walkers, street walkers.

39:16

All the different walkers. Yes. Yeah,

39:18

no, great. Texas Ranger. Yes,

39:20

of course. That's

39:23

the brig. So

39:25

yeah, so you go over to the,

39:28

to the sort of animal cart that's

39:31

pretty big, I guess. And

39:33

it's on its side. Oh

39:35

shit. Michael Jumbo and

39:37

this old ass looking bear are

39:40

all like running around

39:42

and like wrestling and

39:44

stuff. Oh yeah. It's

39:47

like, it looks like, it looks

39:49

like that bear that Jennifer sent a gift of

39:51

once when she was tired of a lot

39:54

of hair, weird places. And

39:59

he's just a real sleepy. looking. It's

40:02

like a real bear or a card. Or

40:05

like an animated bear. It

40:07

is a real bear. Okay, real bear, real bear.

40:11

And they're just, they're just,

40:14

there's no horses involved, but there's a lot of horse play.

40:17

Okay. Oh, horse play. That's

40:20

childish. Yeah, they're, they're

40:22

raffling. What do

40:24

you guys want? What do you

40:28

guys want to do? We

40:31

go talk to Jim Michael and we say,

40:33

bro, what the fuck is going on with

40:35

this? What's happening? Why are things

40:37

on their side? Why do I keep hearing

40:39

about your boner, dude? Yeah. What

40:42

do you say about a boner? I don't

40:44

get boners. Excuse me? It

40:47

doesn't? I don't count right now. Okay,

40:50

okay. That's different than I don't get boners,

40:52

Jim Michael. No, I don't. Not

40:56

often. Okay,

40:58

well I heard that you were swinging your

41:00

dick around and you were knocking trailers over

41:02

out here. We were told to come check

41:04

on you. I wasn't swinging my dick. Okay,

41:06

and the trailers? This bear is crazy. Look

41:10

at him, he's wrestling. Is

41:13

he knocking the trailers over? I

41:15

don't know, maybe I knocked it over, but

41:17

it wasn't my fault. Okay, okay. Okay,

41:21

can you just put it back up? If

41:23

you knock it over, set it back up.

41:25

That's all we're asking. It's so heavy

41:27

though. Okay, but you knocked

41:29

it over, you're a big boy. You can do

41:31

it. I can't slam

41:33

into it that way. Okay,

41:35

what if you used

41:38

the wyvern

41:42

as a lever and got it

41:44

underneath? Shit breath. Yeah,

41:46

what if we use shit breath underneath and

41:49

you set them as a lever to launch

41:51

the trailer back

41:53

up? I think that could

41:55

work. Let's try that. Let's

41:58

give it an old one-two jerk and see how that goes. Alright,

42:01

we'll give her a one-two jerk. Who,

42:04

hold on, let me talk. Let

42:07

me, hold on. Let me talk? Let

42:09

me, no, let me talk. Talk?

42:11

Let me talk. Talk. Okay.

42:15

I'm trying to talk. Let me talk. I'm

42:17

trying to talk to shit breath.

42:19

He don't, he's so stupid, you

42:22

gotta understand. It's like I

42:24

gotta explain it. Like six

42:26

times. Shit

42:30

breath. Shit breath, get

42:32

over here. What if Michael can't

42:34

talk to animals and he's also just a liar?

42:41

So yeah, so they, you, I don't know,

42:43

tie some shit to the vern

42:47

and what can

42:49

we roll here? Maybe an animal handling?

42:52

Yes. Probably. Somebody good at

42:54

that? Can we, do we have a technology? I

42:56

feel like this might be a street wise. Uh

42:58

wait, animal handling. I got a plus one

43:01

to animal handling. I have a plus zero, but

43:03

I'll give you a plus D8. You

43:05

got it, bro. You got this. Fucking screech.

43:08

Oh, 13. Plus one.

43:10

Plus a D8. I

43:12

tickle your fingers right before you do this. Uh,

43:15

can you not? No, I do it because that's my

43:17

special way to do it. I don't care if you like

43:19

it or not. Okay. Can we come

43:21

up with another, uh, uh, uh. Don't

43:24

tickle those. 16

43:27

animal handling. It's real dodgy.

43:30

It is like, you barely

43:32

get it up, but you just

43:34

manage it. Are

43:37

we talking about boners again? Yeah, we just get

43:39

it up. We were both trying to

43:41

jerk your micah off. You just get your hands

43:43

around it. Yeah, Michael, did you think

43:45

they were trying to get the caravan on

43:47

the right side? They're jacking off. No. Yeah.

43:50

You guys can jack off to Michael. Why?

43:53

What if they put your Michael underneath the

43:55

caravan and then like cranked him up

43:58

and then boner would just. shoot the

44:00

caravan up. Yeah. Crank

44:03

them all? Yeah, like the thing. Maybe that's what

44:05

happened. Maybe that's not what happened. It's hard to

44:07

say. But the

44:09

caravan is back up on

44:12

its four wheels. I

44:14

guess I checked the lug nuts. They're

44:16

a little loose. But like not,

44:18

like inconsequentially, like just like a little

44:20

loose? You're like not sure. You're like,

44:23

I could probably, these are probably hand

44:25

tight. Okay. I'll

44:27

tighten them while I'm there. We

44:29

hand tighten them tight and

44:32

then we do it just a quarter

44:34

loose because that helps it from being over tight.

44:37

It's not a bad thing. It's a good thing. This

44:39

is how you do things. I do

44:41

trust Niko on this because she knows about cars. I

44:44

would be like, I would assume you'd want those lug nuts

44:46

as tight as possible. Yeah, you don't stop jerking

44:48

until it starts cracking a little bit. Yeah.

44:51

All right. I guess we're fine now.

44:53

Everything's fine. No, jumbo, stop it. Don't.

44:57

He's just going to start chasing you again.

45:01

Leave him alone. These

45:03

guys, I don't know. Okay. What

45:06

if next time, whenever you guys do

45:08

it, just jump, just don't get

45:11

thrown into the RVs? Yeah,

45:13

I can do that. I will work with that. Okay.

45:17

Perfect. You know what? And maybe

45:19

if you feel like it, I don't know, jack each other off. What?

45:23

We got to go. We got to go tighten

45:25

lug nuts. That's like bestiality. No. Michael,

45:28

please. The people. Yeah,

45:30

he's a dragon. Okay. Okay.

45:33

Here are people. I'm so sorry. Honestly.

45:36

Okay. Well, I'm going to jerk

45:38

off jumbo. That's

45:40

sick. Jerk off. That is our

45:42

fault. Oh my God. We can't bring you guys

45:45

in anyway. I'll see you in a guy. It's

45:47

just like the picture. I don't know. I don't

45:49

know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't

45:51

know. I don't know. I

45:53

don't know. Oh,

46:01

why do they do it to get him

46:03

so hyper? I

46:06

need to get to the bar with this. I

46:08

need to get drunk. I

46:10

need to know what's going on. Please help me.

46:12

Help me. Figure it out. I

46:14

guess the link is something really

46:16

weird and interesting is happening. Don't we

46:18

mean for us to hang out with

46:21

children? No, that's your knee,

46:23

idiot. Yeah, Screech doesn't

46:25

think there's anything interesting about the bear. Honestly,

46:28

I was getting the same vibes.

46:30

I care about J'Michael because we

46:32

know J'Michael. And the wyvern's pretty

46:34

cool because it's kind of a

46:36

dragon. But the bear is just

46:38

kind of old and weird looking. Oh

46:40

yeah, I totally agree. That bear's a piece

46:42

of shit and does not deserve a second

46:44

look. Wait, Screech, are we like... Did

46:47

we just become best friends? I

46:49

think we did. Fuck that bear. You

46:52

want to make my dad have some more gray

46:54

hairs? Oh my god.

46:57

Oh my god. Oh

46:59

my god. Chuck

47:02

in the orphan car is

47:05

taking a sip of water and then spits it out

47:07

for some reason. He's like, I don't know. A

47:10

shiver goes up his spine.

47:12

Alright, well, we are over at

47:14

Chuck and our

47:16

friend Celine. Chuck,

47:18

are you okay? I just felt like something bad

47:21

happened, sorry. And there's a bug in my

47:23

coffee. Oh, gross.

47:26

Put a bug in my coffee. I

47:29

know we're substitute teachers but that doesn't mean you can be mean.

47:32

Are you guys going to be like the last

47:34

substitute teacher? Well, why is it one

47:36

of the last of... I'm just kidding. We've never had

47:38

a teacher before. Oh.

47:41

Oh, like you never had a teacher, like

47:43

ever? Um... Like, you

47:45

know how to read or anything? What? No,

47:48

we do. I don't know what I'm

47:50

saying. Very good, very good. I'm

47:54

Mr. Chuck. This is Miss Celine. We're

47:56

here to teach you guys some stuff.

48:00

some structure, some order.

48:03

Yeah. So like, we'll let Mr.

48:05

Chuck start with

48:08

teaching things. Like, right, right, right.

48:10

There's one, a thin

48:14

blonde boy with a

48:17

just a just a bowl haircut. Uh

48:19

huh. And he's kind of he's got

48:21

a bunch of singe marks on him and stuff.

48:24

Uh huh. Okay, okay. And

48:26

he he's raising his hand

48:29

pretty incessantly. Sorry,

48:31

you brought. Hi.

48:34

My name is is Dick Goody,

48:37

and I'm kind of like a class

48:39

representative. So if you need anything, you

48:41

can always talk to me and I

48:44

will be able to help with with

48:46

these guys because you know, they can

48:48

be a little rambunctious. Sure, sure. Well,

48:50

thank you, Dick. Where'd

48:53

you guys leave

48:55

off? So where, you know,

48:58

we don't want to cover stuff

49:00

you've already covered. We're doing arithmetic.

49:03

And, and they were

49:06

reading us a story about the

49:10

war. Oh, Christ. Oh,

49:12

Mr. Chuck is

49:14

all about the war. And yeah,

49:17

yeah, yeah. Pull my,

49:19

my, uh, code up or whatever and show

49:21

off my tattoos. Yeah. These little guys here,

49:24

uh, that shows that I was special little guy in

49:26

the war. You know what I'm saying? Whoa.

49:29

That means I did whatever Beauregard really

49:32

wanted me to do. And,

49:35

uh, that's all, you know, I'll wait till you're a

49:37

little bit older to, you know,

49:39

tell you some more, more stories

49:41

and things like that. Mr. Mr.

49:44

Mr. No, that's not your name.

49:46

Mr. Chuck. Mr. Yes. Go

49:48

ahead. Did you ever kill

49:51

anyone? Well,

49:55

you know, and what was that like?

49:59

So. Alright kids, and I sit

50:01

down and lean forward a little bit. The

50:04

problem with war is

50:06

that so many people

50:08

die. You think it's just a

50:10

quick battle, right? No, it's infection,

50:12

it's disease, it's if

50:14

you don't dig the latrines far

50:17

enough away, if your supply

50:20

lines are cut off in a way that

50:22

you don't expect, it's all about death, okay?

50:25

How many of you think war is

50:27

cool? They all look around at each

50:29

other and then all slowly raise their

50:31

hands and not put your

50:33

hands down right now. I'll tell you that much

50:35

right now. It's hell. And

50:38

yeah, maybe I had to do some things I'm not

50:41

proud of, but I'm here today

50:43

and it was me or them. And

50:45

when I was in my goddamn

50:48

foxhole shivering my butt off every

50:50

night, keep away from the

50:52

fireballs and lightning bolts and things of that

50:54

nature, you know, I was just thinking

50:57

about, hey, maybe from this whole situation

50:59

one day I'll be able to teach

51:01

some kids some thing

51:04

good and that war is bad. I

51:06

mean, it's never gonna, I mean, now that Emperor

51:09

Beauregard is in charge, it's

51:11

fine. What

51:14

happened again is in the past, it's history. Yeah.

51:17

Is it true that the OT is

51:20

allowed to take all

51:23

of your clothes off and make you run

51:25

through town? I

51:28

have never heard that before. Is

51:31

it true that the OT can shave your

51:33

head if they want to because they just

51:35

feel like it? Is that true?

51:38

Well, I mean, I heard

51:40

that like, yes, if you get

51:42

too many demerits and let them

51:45

demerit. Well, if you do something

51:47

bad, you're not supposed to, then like, well, yeah, they're

51:49

gonna bring you in front of everyone and shave your

51:51

head off. And you have to

51:53

walk around with like a sign around your neck

51:55

for like weeks, you know, like not to do

51:57

that again. Should we

51:59

institute that? here at the circus

52:01

kids? What do you think? No, no, no, I don't think so.

52:04

I don't think so. Um, yeah.

52:06

Uh, but you know, normally, uh,

52:09

normally no, you should be fine. You'll be able to keep

52:11

your hair for sure. Well

52:13

yeah, we're not going to the OT, so

52:15

you know, fine. Will they, will they take

52:17

us away and make us work until we

52:19

die? Where, where did

52:21

you hear these things? Why are you asking these

52:24

questions? In the last town there was, um,

52:26

and this is like a bunch of different kids, they're all us. They

52:28

all found the thing. Yeah, to me

52:30

they do. They're all like, yeah, they're

52:33

just generic children. Yeah. In

52:35

the last town there is a guy who says that

52:37

all that stuff. And

52:39

our last teacher said that the OT,

52:42

um, was made all the

52:44

magic go away. Uh-huh. But

52:47

that it was good? Yeah, yeah,

52:50

that, that's why we fought the war to get against

52:53

the wizards and things of that nature. So,

52:55

you know, it is good. It is good.

52:57

It is good. Who, who was this, uh,

52:59

man in the previous town that was telling you all

53:01

this? Did he live in the town or what was

53:03

his deal? He lived in the town

53:05

and they had him come tutor us because

53:08

I guess he had read a book once.

53:11

Huh. Yeah, it sounds

53:13

like a guy who read a book once.

53:15

Um, do you remember what his name was?

53:17

No. Do you remember

53:19

what he looked like? Tall.

53:23

Okay, well, don't,

53:25

don't listen to some, oh wait, this person actually

53:27

did teach you? Kind of.

53:30

Okay, well, don't, don't

53:33

listen to stuff like that. You got your whole life ahead of you.

53:35

Yeah, you don't need to worry about being shaved

53:37

by the OT any time soon. Yeah, that

53:40

most likely won't happen. Oh, thank

53:42

God. A, a, a relieved murmur.

53:44

You have to be enrolled at the OT. They mostly

53:46

just do it to the trainees.

53:48

Right. He's what I've heard. Um,

53:50

wow. You know so much. I,

53:54

the capital. Yes, I

53:56

am. I've seen some

53:58

things. Oh, is it true? They have Yeah, they've

54:00

got, yeah, they've got roads.

54:03

Why are you so interested in roads? Oh,

54:06

we just don't have them. I

54:08

guess they are just mud out here. I guess, yeah, they do

54:10

kind of suck. Well,

54:13

I had never been in, you know, out here

54:16

until... Right, right. Well, until

54:18

now. So we can learn

54:21

things together. Yay.

54:26

So we kind of like, looks at

54:28

Chuck and is like, we should ask Barnabas about

54:30

who is teaching them about town.

54:32

Spreading sedition to the children is not a

54:34

good idea. Well, just, yeah,

54:37

mostly I'm worried if like they like know

54:39

about the OT. I know they're facing me.

54:42

So I might be good to suss that out

54:44

a little bit. They gotta learn about the OT. Yeah,

54:47

but I mean, yeah,

54:50

I guess they do. They

54:52

have to learn about the OT.

54:54

I guess they do. I

54:56

don't know how I feel about it. I

54:59

need a bunch of Barnabas. Alright, it's recess. Go outside

55:01

and run around now. In the mud. Yeah,

55:03

get all muddy and stuff. Okay,

55:05

bye. Bye. Yay. That

55:08

was hard, but I feel, we didn't have to do math. I feel

55:11

like we did a good thing. I have a

55:13

stomach ache. If they ask again, I'll tell them about all the blood

55:15

and guts I've seen. I don't

55:17

give a hell. Is

55:19

that good? Alright, well, you

55:21

guys meet up again. I

55:26

suppose back at the caravan, which now does not

55:28

have leaks. Yay.

55:31

I imagine that there's still, like,

55:33

there's no way you got the stink out

55:35

of it though. Oh no, it's not that. Well,

55:38

you can't have everything I guess. True. What

55:40

guys, what was going on with your Michael? Like, why was

55:42

he like, acting out? They

55:45

were rasslin'. Oh. Yeah,

55:47

rassling some bear. Was

55:49

it Jumbo? Yeah, Jumbo's an elephant. That's

55:52

what I said. I know there was a bear there. Yeah,

55:56

Michael just knocked over the trailer. It was

55:58

a complete accident we talked about him. He

56:00

said it won't happen again. No boulder

56:02

though. You have to hit it really

56:04

hard. Yeah. Yeah.

56:06

He's heavy. He's a big boy.

56:08

Yeah, he's pretty solid. So I guess that makes

56:10

it... Maybe we need to make sure he gets

56:13

more exercise, you know? Yeah, I thought hanging

56:15

out with those other animals would, you

56:17

know... Maybe it makes him worse though. True. Maybe

56:20

he gets them all worked and gets them too high of earth. Yeah.

56:23

Makes him more like an animal. Maybe we should put him in school

56:25

with the other orphans. School's

56:28

so boring. They keep asking questions about death

56:30

and torture and stuff. It's crazy. He'll

56:32

probably jack off in the back. Hey,

56:35

come on now. That's gross. Did you see the... did

56:37

you see the Oreo in there? Uh,

56:39

I... probably. Yeah, one of

56:42

those kids is definitely the Oreo. Okay. I

56:44

think it's the one that always has like mysterious wounds and stuff that he

56:47

can't explain, but like... You know what? One

56:49

of the kids did have like burn marks

56:51

all over him and he was talking a

56:53

lot. That could have been anything, you know.

56:55

Oh god, yeah, Oreo does talk a lot.

56:57

Uh, yeah, I mean, it was a kid

56:59

named Dick Goody or something like that. He

57:02

had burns on his body. Yeah,

57:05

yeah, that sounds about right. Dick Goody. I'm

57:08

pretty sure that's it. Oh, so you're pretty sure

57:10

Dick Goody's the Oreo? That's funny. That's...

57:12

that's my... that's my current theory.

57:14

Well, he was definitely the one that

57:16

was kind of, you know, he seemed to

57:19

be the smartest one in the class. It was real.

57:21

Yeah, he was a little suck up. Oh, he kind of seemed

57:23

like a dumbass every time I talked to him, but... Well,

57:25

maybe... Maybe there's more than me,

57:27

so I was this little guy. Um, he

57:29

was enthusiastic, alright. I hope so,

57:32

because he's... he's gonna be my

57:34

sidekick, so he better be smarter than he

57:36

looks. You're being awfully

57:38

rude. I don't think you should have

57:40

wards with that attitude. First

57:43

of all... I'm kind of these kids' teacher now, so

57:45

they matter to me now. So...

57:49

Um, but yeah.

57:54

That's our episode. That was so much fun.

57:56

Thank you, Michael, for

57:58

the adventure. Stop

58:01

popping balloons! What? You said you

58:03

can't hear it! That scares me though.

58:06

Thank you so much for joining us

58:08

here on twitch.tv slash Geekly Inc. We

58:10

hope everyone's having a magical, wonderful week

58:13

and that your world is full of light and

58:15

that we could bring a little

58:17

bit of joy in

58:19

what is otherwise a

58:21

miserable existence full of

58:24

mud and foil and you

58:26

can't even pop a damn balloon in this

58:28

country. Thank you

58:30

so much to Die Hard Dice. Every

58:41

single week Die Hard Dice gives

58:43

us the opportunity to give you,

58:45

the beautiful listener, some free

58:47

dies. That rocks! I

58:50

just chatted with them and they wanted

58:52

me to point out to y'all, check out the

58:54

Mithras, Chromorphics, and Nebula

58:58

Rain. They are the

59:02

like plated plastic

59:04

die. They look really cool. I'm gonna

59:06

put a single one of those links

59:08

in the Twitch chat. I'll fuck it

59:10

up. I can do whatever I want.

59:13

You're not my dad. Go to

59:15

dieharddice.com enter the alpha

59:17

code DRAGONS with an exclamation mark.

59:19

If you're never sure what

59:22

that is, right, you're listening to it, you're hearing it now,

59:25

but like in let's say 20 minutes from now you forget

59:28

the Instagram always has the

59:30

correct link, friend. So

59:32

go there. If you use our

59:34

offer code to get 15% off and we get

59:37

a little kissy on the back end.

59:39

Hashtag ad. I

59:42

will, oh, oh, alright,

59:44

and closed. Draw.

59:48

Announce. Congratulations to

59:51

usmamaer for you

59:53

have won the

59:55

dice! Thank

1:00:00

you, Niko! You're

1:00:02

welcome. Shai's a

1:00:04

dice card! You're

1:00:07

so welcome! Can

1:00:09

I get a thank you? Yeah, thank you Tim to send me a nice

1:00:11

dice card. Thank you Tim for giving Niko sends them directly

1:00:13

to me. Yeah, but I'm the one that sends them

1:00:15

to Niko. Yeah, but I don't see that. I

1:00:18

don't care! Niko just, all Niko

1:00:20

does is stop you from having to go into the spreadsheet. And

1:00:22

then I'm like, oh, I'm not gonna do that. I'm

1:00:24

not gonna do that. I'm not gonna

1:00:27

do that. There's a lot of

1:00:29

value in that. That is true. That

1:00:32

is more so you should think more things for

1:00:34

that. Sometimes the little man is a good thing.

1:00:36

Thank you everybody. If you want to get in

1:00:38

touch with us, we're on Twitter at GeekyLink. I

1:00:42

do the podcast. We're also on

1:00:44

Instagram at greetingsanddee. And we're

1:00:46

on Twitter at Geegling. And we're also on

1:00:48

Instagram at Geegling. And we're

1:00:50

also on Instagram at Geegling. And we're

1:00:53

also on Instagram at Geegling. And we're

1:00:55

also on Instagram at GreetingsAdventures. I'm

1:00:58

at Thrifty Nerd. I'm at Tim

1:01:00

Lanning. I'm at Jennifer

1:01:03

Cheek. I'm at

1:01:05

Nika Undersk... Nika Underskore Howard. And

1:01:08

you can also find a link to everything else I

1:01:10

do and my little bio on Twitter. Go

1:01:12

do that. Hell yeah.

1:01:16

For all of us. I'm

1:01:18

at the Mike Bachman. Didn't

1:01:20

get your fill of action and adventure in this

1:01:22

episode of Greetings Adventures? But also, check out these

1:01:24

other great shows like Dear Internet, The D20 Day

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1:01:29

Revuto, No Page Unturned,

1:01:31

Caverns and Caverns, Vanguards at the Veil, and

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1:01:36

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dicey! I don't think we can

1:02:09

say we'll cut some pinky toe off. Michael

1:02:12

shut the fuck up, this isn't your part.

1:02:14

Oh, sorry. You can say whatever you want.

1:02:16

Yeah. Hashtag parody! Say

1:02:19

whatever the hell we want. Thank

1:02:21

you everybody. Until next week, keep

1:02:23

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