Episode Transcript
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0:00
Pinna! What
0:30
were the cute, happy little kid bedtime versions
0:32
of the Grimm tales? The
0:34
original Grimm fairy tales aren't like that
0:36
at all. They're weird, and
0:39
sometimes gross, and often scary.
0:43
In other words, they're Grimm. And
0:46
I'm about to walk into a classroom and
0:48
tell one of the original Grimm Grimm tales
0:51
to a bunch of kids. Do
0:53
you want to join me? Do you want to
0:55
hear a Grimm fairy tale? Let
0:58
me help you decide. On
1:00
a scale of Grimm, Grimmer, and Grimist, the
1:02
story I'm going to tell today is
1:05
Grimist. It is gross, it
1:07
can be sad, there is some death,
1:09
and the bad guy is as evil
1:11
as bad guys can possibly get. If
1:14
I get to a part of the story and
1:16
you start to feel scared or uncomfortable, this is
1:18
what you could do. You could
1:21
turn down the volume and count
1:23
to five, then turn the volume
1:25
back up. If it still seems
1:27
like a part you don't want to hear, just turn
1:29
the volume down and count to five again. You
1:32
know how much weird and gross and scary you're ready
1:34
for. You know what you need.
1:37
Okay, I'm at the classroom door
1:39
now. There are kids inside
1:42
waiting to hear a Grimm fairy tale.
1:45
So, are
1:47
you coming in? Grimm,
1:57
Grimmer, Grimist. and
4:00
foaming at the mountain. The
4:02
bear was nearly on top of it.
4:04
The soldier calmly raised his nuffet, and
4:06
the bear between the ends. The picture
4:08
of the bear crashed to the ground.
4:11
The soldier turned to the man
4:13
with the green coat. Brave enough
4:15
for ya. The man with the
4:17
green coat smiled again. So, you've
4:20
got courage. I love the tax. Are
4:23
you brave enough to do this then? For
4:26
the next seven years, you
4:28
will be without a home. You
4:31
must not wash, and
4:34
you must neither shave nor cut
4:36
your hair. You
4:38
must not care for your appearance
4:41
in any way. You
4:43
will wear the skin of that bear as
4:45
your cloak, and never during
4:47
the seven years may you take it
4:50
off. In
4:52
exchange for all this, I will
4:54
give you as much money as you want for
4:57
the rest of your life. What?
5:00
Yeah. The money isn't any
5:03
use if you can't... I
5:05
can talk to anybody, eternally. The
5:08
soldier looked at the man in the green coat, from
5:10
his slick hair to his cloven hooves. And
5:13
then the soldier said, I know who
5:15
you are. Who do you think he is?
5:17
The devil? Good for you. Said
5:20
the devil in his green coat. One last
5:22
condition. I before
5:24
the seven years are up, your
5:26
soul is mine. Never
5:28
do that, Seddie. Don't
5:32
trust the devil. Never trust
5:34
the devil. This sounds like in The Little
5:36
Mermaid, when Ursula is like,
5:38
if the prince doesn't kiss you, your soul
5:40
will be mine. Very similar story. And do
5:43
you know what Hans Christian Andersen, who wrote The
5:45
Little Mermaid, loved Grimm's fairy tales? The
5:47
soldier said, you won't get my soul.
5:49
And the devil replied, I usually get what I
5:51
want. The soldier hesitated.
5:55
He thought of his poverty and his lonely life. He
5:58
thought of all the money he could ever make. He
6:01
thought of eternal torment at the hands of the devil. He
6:04
thought of not washing himself for seven
6:06
years. Would you do it? Would
6:08
you take the deal? No. You think it's worth the
6:10
risk? Yeah, I would. You think it's not worth the
6:12
risk? No. Who would
6:15
risk losing their soldiers to get money? At
6:18
last, the soldier said, I'll do it. Are
6:20
you kidding me? The devil
6:22
skinned the bear and lay the stinky hide over the
6:24
soldier's head and shoulders. He told the soldier, Reach
6:28
into the bear's mouth and you shall always
6:30
have money. And then he
6:33
added, See you in seven years. Or
6:36
sooner. And
6:40
then he disappeared. Yes,
6:42
Jack. The soldier set out. The
6:45
first year wasn't so bad. He had all
6:47
the money he wanted, and while he was dirty and
6:49
smelly, money goes a long way in making life easier.
6:52
But by the second year, the soldier's fingernails
6:54
begun to look like claws. His
6:57
hair and beard were so mad as they had
6:59
become like felt. And
7:02
the stench of the rotting bear skin
7:04
was sickening. Inns and taverns
7:06
began to refuse to serve. People
7:08
would scream and run when they saw him on the road. He
7:12
had all the money he could ask for, but fewer and
7:14
fewer people would let him get close enough to use
7:16
it. The soldier traveled,
7:18
giving money to the poor when they let
7:20
him get near them, sleeping in barns when
7:22
someone would accept his money, and
7:24
sleeping under his bear skin in the
7:26
sky most nights. Pretty
7:28
soon, he started to wish that he were dead. Okay,
7:30
now what would you do if you were in the
7:33
soldier position? You have the money you want, and you
7:35
can't even use it. I'd go
7:37
into the forest and eat with Mary.
7:39
Ah, interesting. One
7:41
day, the soldier came to an inn, where
7:43
the innkeeper was kind enough to take a
7:45
huge amount of money for a tiny room
7:48
in the back. The
7:50
soldier curled up in the bed and cursed his life. Just
7:53
then, he heard the sound of a man
7:55
sobbing. He listened for a while.
7:58
Then he decided to follow the steps. sound. He
8:01
went into the hallway and listened again. The
8:03
sound was coming from the room next door.
8:06
The soldier pushed the door open to
8:09
find an elderly man weeping and sobbing.
8:12
When the elderly man looked up and saw
8:14
the soldier, he screamed and tried to escape
8:16
out the window. But the soldier spoke to
8:18
him, and his voice was kind and human.
8:20
It's okay. I won't hurt you. And the
8:22
elderly man calmed down. The
8:25
soldier asked why the elderly man was crying,
8:27
and the elderly man explained that he had
8:29
once been a successful merchant, but all his
8:31
money was lost, and his wife and three
8:33
daughters would surely starve. The
8:36
soldier said to the elderly man, If the problem
8:38
is money, you can stop crying right now. I've
8:40
got all the money you could ever need. He
8:43
reached into the bear's mouth and pulled out enough money
8:45
to live on for a year, and handed it to
8:47
the elderly man. The man wept
8:49
and kissed the soldier's filthy feet. Mmm,
8:53
you are so kind and
8:55
so generous. He looked up. Are
8:58
you married? And the soldier replied,
9:01
What do you think? No.
9:04
Right. Then please, please come
9:06
home with me. I have three beautiful
9:08
daughters. I'm sure they will jump at the chance to
9:11
marry you. Do you think they will jump at the
9:13
chance to marry the bear skin? No.
9:16
Well, the soldier thought the old man was
9:18
crazy. First of all, who would want to
9:20
marry a complete stranger? And second of all,
9:22
who would want to marry a complete stranger
9:24
who looked and smelled like a rotting bear
9:27
skin? But it was
9:29
the first time anyone had invited him to their
9:31
home in years. So he
9:33
went. When
9:35
they arrived at the house, the elderly man went
9:38
in first to tell his daughters to prepare themselves.
9:41
He warned them that the soldier looked a little, well,
9:44
weird and smelled just a little
9:46
bit, but that he had
9:48
saved their family from ruin and was kind and
9:50
generous and rich. When
9:53
the soldier was brought into the house, the three
9:55
girls were waiting for him. The
9:57
eldest daughter screamed and then started throwing up
9:59
on the floor. Right in front of the
10:01
soldier. The
10:03
middle daughter said, Father, I don't care
10:05
how kind he is. That's the most
10:07
revolting creature I've ever seen.
10:10
I don't know what's uglier, the rotting bear skin
10:12
on his back or his face. You
10:14
say that to his face? Yes.
10:17
The eldest daughter threw up again. But
10:21
the youngest daughter spoke directly to the soldier. You
10:24
are very kind to have saved us. If
10:26
your heart is as good as your deeds, I
10:28
will be your wife. Though your appearance is
10:30
strange, and your odor is, well,
10:32
shall we say, remarkable? Had
10:36
the soldier's face not been covered in fur
10:38
and grime, they all would have seen the
10:41
soldier light up with joy and gratitude. Well,
10:43
the eldest daughter wouldn't have seen it because she was
10:45
still crouched over her puddle of vomit. She started throwing
10:48
up again. The soldier
10:50
said, This is the first time I've felt
10:52
hopeful in many, many years. He took off
10:54
a ring that he wore and croaked it
10:56
in his. I must wander for
10:58
three more years. If I don't return
11:00
after that time, I'm dead and you will be free.
11:03
But pray for me, and God willing, I will
11:06
return, and he gave her death of
11:08
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Com/realm. For
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three years the youngest daughter did not
12:56
know with the soldier was alive or
12:58
dead but she prayed for him every
13:00
day. When her sister saw her praying
13:02
they lack the middle daughter said you.
13:04
Are playing. He'll get lost in a far
13:06
as or never find your plate box or
13:08
right that's what I would pray for. And
13:11
the eldest daughter just made people. would
13:13
you always make the the several. Okay,
13:18
Sorry, that was disgusting. Squeeze every
13:20
that again. When
13:22
it had been three years to the
13:24
day, the youngest daughter went outside to
13:26
wait for the soldiers. He
13:29
did not kill. She
13:31
waited for a long time. He
13:34
did not. See
13:36
of his daughter, went back into the
13:38
house put on balanced and began to
13:41
more for the deaths of the soldier
13:43
For while he had been the most
13:45
revolting creature she has ever seen, he
13:47
had indeed. Seemed kind are too
13:50
big sisters laughed with release my
13:52
middle daughter said was worried I'd
13:54
have to live a disgusting. Thing
13:56
in the house. And I don't mean what,
13:58
their skin. The eldest
14:00
daughter laughed too, and then she threw up
14:02
on the floor. She had a problem.
14:05
The soldier was making his way back to the forest where
14:07
he had met the devil. When
14:16
he arrived, the devil was waiting for him,
14:18
wearing the same green coat. When
14:21
he saw the devil, the soldier smiled.
14:24
You said you always get what you want.
14:27
And yet, here I am. Seven
14:29
years later, alive and well. And
14:32
the devil grumbled, Well, I usually do. The
14:35
soldier looked positively monstrous after seven
14:37
years. His felt like mat of
14:39
hair was down to his knees. His
14:41
nails practically reached the ground. His
14:44
beard was full of putrid food,
14:46
and the bearskin was a rotted,
14:48
decomposing mess. The devil
14:50
sighed and said, I guess
14:53
your soul is yours. And the
14:55
devil turned to go. But
14:57
the soldier said, Not so fast. The
15:00
deal was, if I looked like this for seven
15:02
years, you'd give me as much money as I
15:04
want, and I'd be free to go and live
15:06
the rest of my life. Well,
15:09
I did it. So clean me up
15:11
and give me a shave. No
15:13
one else will. So the devil took
15:15
off the bearskin and shaved and washed the soldier,
15:17
because the soldier was spick and span. Then
15:21
the devil gave him a fine coat and fine clothes. The
15:24
devil looked very glum. He
15:26
said, You will always find gold in
15:28
your pockets. And then
15:30
the devil disappeared. The
15:32
soldier had never felt so fine in his
15:34
whole life. He hurried back to the
15:37
house of the elderly man and his three daughters. When
15:40
he walked in, no one recognized him. But
15:42
he was so handsome, he was invited to
15:44
sit on the couch, and the two eldest daughters
15:47
spussed over him, flirting and batting their eyelashes and
15:49
flattering him. But the youngest
15:51
daughter sat in a corner, dressed in
15:53
black, her eyes downcast, tears streaming down
15:56
her cheeks. At
15:58
Last, the soldier said. And
16:00
you know, I'd like to marry one of
16:02
you, but I can't decide which. I
16:05
need a moment alone and to think
16:07
Well, the to eldest daughter scurried off
16:09
to their rooms hoping he would choose
16:11
one of them as his bride. But.
16:14
The youngest sat where she was on
16:16
moving. The soldier said to the youngest
16:18
daughter, wouldn't you like to marry me
16:20
make your sister's She shook her head
16:23
and replied. I was the truth
16:25
was good and kind man and now
16:27
he is false. And I'm
16:29
in mourning for the provenance in the
16:31
pros into a good and kind man.
16:34
Engage At The soldier stood up and
16:36
brought her a cup of water. He
16:38
said drink this and maybe you will
16:41
feel better known since you said The
16:43
youngest daughter refusing to even look up
16:45
the soldier said please have a sip
16:47
of this water. I was
16:50
said the youngest daughter mary. One
16:52
of my sisters. I don't want
16:54
anyone but my patrols. He looked
16:56
weird and smelled worse. He was
16:58
centers and he has a cleansed
17:00
eyes. And the soldier said rules,
17:02
you just take the water. While the
17:04
youngest daughter had had enough of being
17:06
bossed around by a total stranger, she was
17:09
annoyed. So annoyed that she decided to
17:11
look this stranger in the eye and tell
17:13
him to scram. She clenched
17:15
her jaw and listed her eyes.
17:18
It was then that see some in the
17:20
bottom of the water glass and eating so.
17:25
Half a ring. And
17:27
she looked up into the soldiers eyes
17:30
and recognized her for true that at
17:32
once she'd left her six engines into
17:34
his arms. When
17:36
the to eldest daughter came back into
17:39
the room they saw the soldier and
17:41
their youngest sister embracing. They were furious
17:43
and then the soldier explained that he
17:45
was the man and the bare skin.
17:48
The middle daughter said. The
17:51
eldest daughter Peace right there on the stairs.
17:54
And then ran out of the house and
17:57
threw. themselves down the wells were as
17:59
a threat Why did
18:01
you do that? What the heck? That
18:04
evening there was a knock on the door.
18:07
The soldier opened it to find
18:09
the devil standing there, grinning
18:11
at him. The
18:13
soldier said, What now? I have my
18:16
wife, my fortune, and my home. Leave
18:18
me alone. I just wanted to
18:20
let you know, said the devil, in
18:23
exchange for your one so. I
18:25
got two. He gestured at the well.
18:28
Then he winked. Like
18:30
I said, I usually
18:32
get what I want. The
18:35
end. Now
18:39
question, do you think that the devil had planned it that way the
18:41
whole time or he just ended up getting what he wanted? I'm not
18:43
sure. You think he'd planned it like the whole plan was to get
18:46
those two girls? Yeah. Why don't you
18:48
know? You wrote it. He just ends up
18:50
getting it. So I am retelling these stories,
18:52
but I didn't invent them. I
18:54
retell them. So I add details. I change details.
18:57
But that's how the real one ends. And the
18:59
devil says, I got two. And I don't know
19:01
whether he planned it that way. I
19:03
don't think he did. I think he just
19:06
always gets what he wants. Somehow or other.
19:08
That's interesting. He is the devil. He is
19:10
the devil. He's an evil man. I want to see
19:12
how he does. What
19:14
he does with those two sisters? He
19:17
can puke on them. Grim,
19:24
Grimmer, Grimest is a pinna
19:26
original production. Created, written and
19:28
narrated by me, Adam Gidwitz.
19:31
Author of Ateus Dark and
19:33
Grim. Produced and edited
19:35
by Ilana Miller. Casting and
19:37
voice direction by Paula Gemin Wilson. Sound
19:40
design and mixing by Beat Street NYC. Location
19:43
recording by Jason Gambrell and Evan Viola.
19:46
Characters voiced by... ...George
19:53
Lambert, H.D. Quinn, Kailin
19:55
Lee Clinton, Kiley Clackton, Laurie
19:58
Hine, Mark Tonstein. Marco
20:00
Bartola and Tom Weiland. Special
20:03
thanks to the staff and students at Brooklyn
20:06
Friends School and Manhattan Country School. You
20:08
guys are awesome!
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