2:00

And I said the youngers like as if there

2:02

was a lot of them. So then I'm worried

2:04

someone's gonna write it and go, well actually the

2:06

second youngers, why is this shield? And I'm like,

2:08

okay, cool. That's why I threw the apparently in

2:10

at the end. If I'm going a little bit

2:13

off the sheet, it's because

2:15

I'm worried about someone sitting there with

2:17

this voice ready to just take me

2:19

down. It's a high wire act that

2:22

we always start the show talking

2:24

about the most technical thing that has clear

2:26

right and wrongs that we know nothing about. It

2:29

does set the tone well for the show. This is the

2:31

show where these girls would pretend to know anything. Yes, Ahoy

2:34

also to Andrew from

2:36

the US who has used the

2:38

very easy to use system at heymishnony.com to tell

2:40

us what he's been up to. Ahoy

2:43

boys and number six calling in from

2:45

the States today. Ran

2:47

into some Aussies up here last week, hit

2:51

him with an Ahoy, was pleased to

2:53

receive an Ahoy back listeners and fans

2:56

of the show. And

2:58

also pleased to relay

3:01

that we did not mention Mr.

3:04

Ralph, we had no conversation about him.

3:07

Now I did upfront mention

3:09

that we should not mention Mr. Ralph,

3:12

but it went no further than that.

3:14

And I'm grateful to know

3:17

that the international community, even though they were

3:19

up here in the States is leaving

3:21

well enough alone so that our

3:24

weasel can get his precious, precious

3:26

flights. That

3:29

is beautiful. That's lovely. It is just really

3:31

lovely. Yeah, lips sealed everywhere, Jack. That must

3:33

be music to your ears. Yeah, well, I

3:35

mean, he said it a bit too many

3:37

times for my liking, but he's right. The

3:39

USA is ground zero for Mr. R. So

3:42

be careful, be most careful.

3:44

Be very careful over there.

3:48

heymishnony.com if you'd like to take the pledge in

3:50

shirt form. I'm not sure if there's T-shirts still

3:52

available worth throwing it out there. I think we're

3:54

getting very low, but worth a crack. And as

3:59

you know, I... Jack O's, as

4:01

you guys know, over the years, I

4:03

have struggled somewhat with impulse control when

4:06

it comes to being served ads on

4:08

Instagram. Oh yeah. And I've had strong

4:10

times and I have regrettably

4:12

had relapses. Golf,

4:16

ever since taking up golf a couple of years ago now, maybe 18

4:18

months ago, the algorithm

4:21

is onto that. And boy is there a

4:23

product for everything. Like it's the weirdest. Ball

4:25

that goes between your arms to get at

4:27

the wrist brace so your wrist is in

4:30

the right position. I've seen that one. Sit

4:33

your wrist on a little anchor type splint that comes

4:35

up off the wrist. So proud to say I don't

4:38

own that, Jack. Like I do have some of them,

4:40

but I'm so proud. Like I'm

4:42

so proud there's still a few out there where I can go, oh, not

4:45

that bad. I don't have that one. So

4:47

there's the golf stuff. And I accept that now

4:49

because it's kind of my own fault. Cause I,

4:51

I go, well, I know I'm looking at,

4:54

you know, I know I'm looking at golf reels.

4:56

And so it's figured it out. That's, that's, that's

4:58

easy. I'm an easy, I'm a soft target. They've

5:00

looked at my purchase history. Like, hang on. Didn't

5:03

this guy buy a mesmerizing sphere? He,

5:05

we have this guy down as the

5:08

biggest rube of all time. Like, if

5:10

he likes anything, let's get him, let's just get him.

5:13

So I understand there's a bit of a, there's a

5:15

rush to get me with that. So it bothers

5:17

me when stuff comes up.

5:21

Why am I, why is this coming up? Why

5:23

am I, I understand some targets. There's some things

5:25

I understand I'll be targeted for, but this,

5:28

this pan comes up, right? And

5:30

it's a frying pan, like a

5:33

kind of a deeper wall. I'll admit it looks

5:35

pretty cool, but it's a deeper walled

5:37

frying pan, right? And it's like, this,

5:39

it's a chef. It's a kind of a rad chef.

5:41

It's not the guy from the bear, but he has

5:44

tons of that tats, cool American

5:46

kind of chef. He's got a few Michelin stars. Can't remember

5:48

who it is. He's like, this is hands

5:51

down the coolest invention, the innovation of our

5:53

time in the kitchen. Like I freaking love

5:55

this pan. This is an amazing pan. What

5:57

makes it so amazing? take

6:00

you into the mind of an impulse buyer.

6:02

We don't ask those kinds of questions. If

6:07

a cool chef says this is the greatest cooking

6:09

innovation of our time, the only thing

6:11

my brain can think is, thank God I'm

6:13

hearing about this. I

6:20

can't believe I haven't heard about this yet. This must

6:22

be day one. Must've been invented today. I hope I'm

6:24

hearing about this first. I hope they've

6:27

got some left. We

6:31

might have a few more of them. So

6:35

he's just, he's any swear in and I'm

6:38

like, that's cool. He's like, I freaking love this pan.

6:40

This is the best. I'm like, yes, look at that.

6:42

He wouldn't be that passionate about a pan. And

6:47

you see how busy he is. He's in the kitchen, so

6:49

he's taking time out of his day to share the good

6:51

news, to share with all of us his fans. But

6:53

I'm still going, I'm like, this is a sponsored post,

6:55

right? This is all that's like an ad and it's

6:57

like sponsored and that's why I'm getting it. But

7:01

then on these days, you can look underneath and go like,

7:04

what? You can see

7:06

who you follow, who's liked it. Oh,

7:08

you know what I mean? Like the pan. Yeah. Yeah. Rebecca

7:11

Harding. Yeah. I'm

7:14

like, no, I'm getting,

7:16

I'm not strong enough to

7:18

resist this. Why is she

7:20

liking an ad? Don't like

7:23

ads. This isn't even this, like

7:25

I understand when I get random stuff pop up,

7:27

you know, I get a lot of stuff in

7:29

my feed from not that we have like super

7:31

close buds, but the algorithm just has decided that

7:33

I like what he likes. I'll

7:36

get a random thing coming up. Like honestly,

7:38

really example yesterday, just an Instagram page of

7:40

very close up and almost

7:43

like ASMR audio of

7:45

an apple and a samurai sword

7:47

slicing it extremely thinly, right?

7:49

Like, and it's like the noise is like, but

7:54

it's very satisfying to watch because this guy slices it.

7:56

It's slow mo or is it going slow? He's just

7:58

slicing it so slow. So thin that

8:00

it's this translucent piece of apple comes

8:02

off, right? Like perfect thin slice. I actually

8:05

think you'd quite like to watch this. Okay.

8:08

Then it goes to a loaf of bread and he's cutting like

8:10

a micron thick

8:13

slice of bread with the samurai sword and it doesn't break

8:15

or anything. It's like a perfect slice. Proving us just

8:17

how sharp and how good this guy is with the samurai

8:20

sword. You're just seeing an extreme close up of the stuff

8:22

being sliced. Liked by Kelly Slater.

8:26

Kelly Slater. He's on Instagram all the

8:29

time. Right? Like I actually have days, weeks

8:31

where I'll delete it, go back on the app. You know, you

8:33

go in and out. I

8:35

reckon honestly, 60 to

8:37

70% of the random pages I get

8:39

served have been launched by Kelly Slater. He

8:41

is just loving everything out there and it's

8:43

really obscure stuff. But the reason I'm getting

8:45

it is because I follow Kelly Slater and

8:48

I'm just getting what I can just see

8:50

what he likes. Well, Beck is you, when

8:52

you were telling that story before, I'm like,

8:54

Oh, this is Beck and maybe I'm drawn

8:56

to these other people in my life, but

8:58

Beck has to buy anything like

9:00

it, the amount of deliveries, anything she sees,

9:02

she has to purchase it. You guys are

9:04

both. But why is she liking it? This

9:06

is my request to you. Can you please

9:08

say to Beck, you can enjoy the ad.

9:10

Don't like it. Don't like an ad. Save

9:13

it if you have to. God knows

9:15

I've done a few of those. But

9:17

don't like the ad because now it's

9:19

coming at me. Okay. Yeah. And

9:22

obviously I've bought the pan. Have

9:25

you used it yet or it's still in the mail? I don't

9:27

want to say. Well,

9:30

okay. So that's their best

9:32

pan. But

9:34

when you go to the website, they also make other,

9:37

they also make other pans. And while I was

9:40

there, I thought maybe we could just do a

9:42

whole cookware overhaul. So the three other pots and

9:44

pans that I bought have

9:46

arrived, but I didn't, I was in such a

9:48

rush to get this best one ever. I

9:51

didn't realize it doesn't come out till the end of like,

9:53

it doesn't come out, I think until the end of July.

9:56

Right. You pre-bought a pan.

9:58

It looks like it. It's kind

10:00

of like a concert. LAUGHTER

10:04

Maybe when they come out, I might be able to scalp

10:06

it for hire. LAUGHTER

10:10

MUSIC Paying

10:14

people flooding in at hamishnanny.com for their chance

10:16

to play Chit Chat Champion. So let's jump

10:19

into it now. MUSIC

10:24

We're away! Chit Chat Champion.

10:29

The game that tests your ability to

10:31

fill in the blank in a pause

10:34

in a conversation that you determine to be the

10:36

right time to talk. A

10:38

lot of calculations going on

10:40

in the mind when you play Chit Chat

10:42

Champion. It's like a golf swing. There's a

10:44

lot to balance. Am

10:47

I a little too heavy here? Do I do

10:49

this now or do I do this bit now?

10:51

What do I do next after that bit? And

10:53

if you overthink it, similar to golfing, the chat

10:55

doesn't go well. We've got brothers that are keen

10:58

to play against each other. Hamish and Jules,

11:00

Jonas. We'll start with Hamish. Hamish, ahoy to

11:02

you. Ahoy, boys. Congrats

11:04

on the SP, Hamish, and happy birthday to

11:07

the weaver. Thank you.

11:09

Celebrate them. Thank you, Haim. And

11:11

may you also have gusto with

11:14

your P. Haim, why do you think

11:16

that you're better than your brother Jules when it

11:19

comes to chat? I

11:21

wouldn't maybe chuck myself above him. He kind

11:23

of just chucked my name into the Chit Chat. I

11:26

think that was a bit of a power move on

11:28

me, but I've been doing some training last

11:30

night. What, talking to people? My new mate's my girlfriend. Wandering

11:34

up to people. I just kept finding

11:36

cocktail parties and I'd jump into their

11:38

conversation. I love that you're coming in

11:40

as an underdog. Did it sting a little bit when

11:42

you realised, like, your brother obviously thinks you're a bit

11:45

of an easy beat, so he'd throw you in there

11:47

to win? Yeah, classic big brother stuff,

11:50

but you can't underestimate the little brother. I

11:52

got some stuff on him, I reckon. Okay,

11:54

okay, very interesting. Jules, ahoy to you. Ahoy,

11:56

boys, and gusto be with

11:58

you. And gusto. are you pretty

12:02

confident then that you'll take down a

12:04

young Hamish? Well as a big brother

12:06

the answer has to be yes. Alright

12:08

well you guys know how it works. Hamish

12:10

and I will start a conversation. You guys

12:12

will be judged on how well you pick

12:15

up the conversation, add to

12:17

the conversation, you cannot ask

12:19

a question. You guys ready to go? Yep. Jules

12:23

will go on hold, we'll start with Hamish and good luck

12:25

Hamish. Cheers. G'day

12:30

Andrew. G'day. Gee

12:32

we're not too far away from the Olympic Games

12:34

now. Yeah our first time to see breakdancing as

12:37

a sport. Yeah

12:39

they're adding a lot of new sports I've noticed in

12:41

the last couple of years. I think that rock climbing

12:43

and the skateboarding was last time and I think it

12:45

really took off. Wow

12:49

the underdog. The underdog. Oh geez

12:52

boys cheers. Yeah he's happy with it

12:54

as well. Yeah a bit of a smile

12:56

on the face when I heard that pop up. I

12:59

mean you launched well, you cruised

13:02

well and you landed well. Yeah

13:04

that's the thing sometimes you can get away with

13:07

your launch and then you just stay out there

13:09

too long. We

13:11

do occasionally have people that think they get the ball

13:13

and they're running with the ball and they think I'm

13:16

killing this and they don't realise they're running the wrong

13:18

way on the field. Yeah I practiced a

13:20

couple of entries with the boys last night and they

13:22

said the best thing to go on was just a

13:24

little bit of curiosity going on and it gives me

13:27

a second to find my foot in. I

13:30

think you found it. Well homey, okay. We'll

13:32

put you on hold. Jules joins

13:35

us now. Jules your brother has gone, we

13:37

won't reveal how he went. How are you

13:39

feeling? Yeah I'm feeling confident. Okay. Good

13:42

luck. G'day

13:46

Andrew. Gee we're not too far away from

13:49

the Olympic Games now. Yeah our first chance

13:51

to see breakdancing as a sport. Breakdancing

13:55

as a sport, I can't believe that. I

13:57

thought that the skateboarding getting in was a

13:59

good chance. was a bit of a hard

14:01

pass but break dancing, come on. Good

14:07

jills. How did you feel your

14:10

visuals? Could

14:12

have done better but I like to,

14:14

you know, I could have gone

14:16

for two runs there but I just took a single. Well,

14:18

I'm not sure I've did.

14:21

You went for a tactic which we

14:23

see from time to time which is

14:26

mock outrage. Yeah. Like I'm hoping

14:28

that that maybe adds a bit

14:31

more weight to the argument. I

14:33

didn't feel as believable,

14:35

Hamish, that you

14:38

were that outraged with break dancing

14:40

being added. It is impressive but

14:42

I'm a traditionalist when I constantly

14:44

think I think keep it to the swimming,

14:48

etc. Yeah, that was a better

14:50

constructed argument. Sticking to his character

14:52

well, all

14:54

right, well we're bringing this back up. Ando.

14:58

Oh, it was a clear winner. Unfortunately, we had

15:00

to duck for your jewels. You'll listen back, you'll

15:02

have to agree with it. Hamish, you're the winner.

15:04

Congratulations, mate. Oh, let's go. Congrats,

15:07

Hamish. I think we

15:09

know who the new little bro is. Oh no,

15:12

you've always been a little bro. No, you just

15:14

don't blow it now. Don't blow it now with

15:16

some bad chat. Yeah, let's

15:18

have a recount. No, time is done.

15:20

He's tripped over as he's gone to

15:22

get his metal, smashed his nose on

15:24

the dais. Everyone's gone, that's the gymnast

15:27

that won? No, it's all right. I

15:29

mean, you did what you had

15:31

to do when it counted. We could only judge you

15:33

on what happened. As soon as you have a season,

15:35

you can do whatever you want. There's no rule. He's

15:37

already on the end of season trip. He's having

15:39

a great time. See ya lads. I'm talking to

15:42

no value going to you, Hamish. And

15:50

you and I went to uni together. Jackie

15:53

boy, did you know uni? I went to

15:55

TAFE. Good boy. Did you

15:57

finish? I did. Yes, I did a

15:59

film and television. I'm a television diploma. Excellent.

16:03

How long did that take? That's like two years.

16:06

Really? So if you ever need

16:08

me on the TV projects you guys do, I am

16:10

qualified. Often the first question you ask, got

16:12

you diploma? Yes. Just

16:15

like Paramount Films will be like, well, Mr.

16:18

Scorsese, we'd be happy for you to direct

16:20

the, actually, got you diploma? Yes,

16:22

obviously I've got the diploma. Okay, good. Beverly

16:26

Hills, TAFE, good. Couldn't do it without

16:28

diploma. No, great course. Well

16:30

done, Jack. Well done for seeing it through. And

16:33

I did not get to the end of... You're

16:36

a dropout. Well,

16:38

I just didn't quite make it to the finish line.

16:40

Got confused halfway through the race at a drink station.

16:43

Have we done yet? Is this, you know... So you

16:45

got no certificate then? I don't

16:47

have a certificate. And he's got a degree, I got a diploma. I got a hex bill.

16:50

They still give you that. They still give you that. I

16:53

don't have the certificate though, Jack. What happened?

16:56

Well, I was just sent it to

16:58

me in the post. And then my mum caught wind

17:00

of that and said, no, no, no, we need to go

17:02

and wear the funny hats. Wow,

17:05

so I am particularly most educated on the show. Don't

17:07

you remember we did the whole graduation ceremony for

17:10

Andy's degree, like, out on the rooftop, like

17:13

10 years ago, because he never picked up the diploma? And

17:15

then Haim said that he was organizing at the radio station

17:18

and invited my parents in, who didn't

17:20

realise it was a joke, and

17:22

dressed up in a suit, and mum dressed up

17:24

all lovely, and came and sat there and were

17:27

the only people in the crowd. Plastic chairs. And

17:29

plastic chairs. And

17:31

then Haim is panicked and ran out and asked

17:33

for Miss Universe, Jennifer Hawkins, whether she could come

17:35

and sit in the crowd with my parents and

17:37

she said... She said no thanks. She said no

17:39

thanks. I'll be okay. She was

17:41

in the building doing some other interview. Please,

17:44

Jen, 10 minutes. attend Andy's

17:46

graduation. She said

17:48

nah. Only... And then also,

17:51

mum and dad, as you got up and

17:54

made a speech on behalf of the Dean. It

17:56

was only several minutes in that I... I

18:00

figured dawned on both of them that their

18:02

son was. There would be

18:04

no attendance from the real Dean. Do

18:08

we have catering afterwards? We would have had catering. I

18:11

think you had two very disappointed middle-aged

18:13

people. Here's

18:15

my question to you, Andrew. I didn't

18:17

finish. You

18:20

did. Got your bachelor's degree. Am

18:22

I still an alumni? Oh, great question.

18:24

Well, I'm not sure if you're cupping

18:26

this, but the university has

18:28

reached back out to me, to go and speak.

18:31

And they asked about you as well. You finished.

18:33

You're an alumni. And asked about you as well.

18:35

And I'm like, we're not

18:37

the greatest. Like universities are

18:39

great, all of them, you know, they're doing a great

18:41

thing. But we aren't the greatest example of that. We

18:43

stopped going to uni and went to the pub across

18:45

the road and started trying to write skits and mucking

18:47

around. So I don't think that

18:50

we're the best people to go and have a

18:52

chat there. And so I think

18:54

they, I have to be honest, I think they're

18:56

just trying to make us

18:59

feel a bit more like we're alumni now.

19:01

Well, I would understand because you've got a

19:03

piece of paper from them that said you

19:05

successfully navigated somewhere. You navigated the

19:07

course. I don't, but am I

19:09

allowed to still say I'm an alumni? If

19:12

you went, you're alumni. Yeah. You're

19:15

a graduate at some point. Yeah, I think that's right.

19:17

Well, I didn't graduate. That's the thing. But like, you

19:19

know, sorry. So then you'd be a graduate, like, oh,

19:21

I wish to graduate of the university. So you got

19:23

to do as a role. I think

19:25

you got to intend. Yeah. So you

19:27

could enroll in like a summer course

19:29

at MIT in America and go, I'm

19:32

an alumni of MIT. I

19:34

think you can. But also, what does that give you,

19:36

though? I'm bragging rights,

19:38

Jack. I've just found that my

19:41

mission for the rest of the year, enroll

19:43

in it in many correspondence courses I can at high

19:46

level university. So I can say I'm an alumni. Well,

19:48

the reason I ask is I got an email the

19:50

other day congratulating me for

19:52

my inclusion in the King's birthday lists.

19:55

And but they go from the uni

19:57

and they go to great lengths to.

20:00

guard me as an alumni. Oh yeah.

20:02

Now they're coming for us. What?

20:06

How the turns table, because

20:08

this is not the attitude.

20:11

This is not the red carpet service I was

20:13

getting as a student. Nor should I like you.

20:15

Certainly. I would be an interesting card to play

20:18

as a 19 year old. How

20:21

dare you question my attendance. I'll have you

20:23

know, in 25 years, I'll be back here.

20:25

I feel the same. I

20:28

feel that retrospectively. I

20:31

love to be honest. I loved it. This is, I

20:33

mean, I see the letterhead and I've, the

20:36

only things I ever had received on

20:38

that letterhead before were like, please explains,

20:41

like denial of applications for

20:43

leniency, a reiteration

20:46

of the rules that I was trying to break.

20:48

So to see something on the letter here. Your

20:50

assignment looks a lot like Andrew Lee's. Do you

20:53

know? Getting called in

20:55

for plagiarism. And I think it's obviously times of

20:57

change. We were there 20 years ago, but it's

20:59

from the vice chancellor. So I was like, I

21:01

think that's the, isn't that how we had to

21:03

go and see when they thought we plagiarized each

21:05

other's. Yeah. Nice to see you. Yeah, it did.

21:07

I did. I was like, oh, it's a, it

21:10

was a woman's name and I remember seeing a

21:12

man's. I was like, okay, it's obviously a different

21:14

vice chancellor. That would have been the only thing.

21:18

She's calling now. Hello, Hamish speaking.

21:21

Yes, I would be interested in being the Dean for a day. Have

21:34

either of you guys been to

21:36

a proper beauty salon and had a facial before?

21:40

Uh, never. No.

21:43

Had a face massage. Well, that's what I thought they

21:45

were. So Beck's really been on my back. It's

21:47

not facials. Beck's been really

21:50

on my back lately about the lack of skincare

21:52

that you, we, we always have a little joke

21:54

about between all this. She's really

21:56

hitting the year about to hit mid

21:58

forties keeps saying it keeps emphasizing. mid

22:01

and she's a lot younger than you. Yes, he is. And

22:04

she said, she'll never be as old as

22:06

you. I can't imagine. He says it's rapidly

22:08

too far away. She used the phrase, it's

22:10

rapidly catching up with you. Your age is rapidly

22:12

catching up with you. Well, which

22:14

and even your dog has mud baths, so you really

22:16

have to start doing. You're the only one in the

22:19

house that's not taking care of themselves. Did you do

22:21

we, we've already talked about this about the old, the

22:23

spot, right? The liver spot. Like you just, like

22:26

the age box. I noticed you had one up

22:28

here on your face. It wasn't there in old

22:30

photos. Yeah. And I've kind of got one. I

22:32

didn't just, I'm only just noticing it for the

22:35

first time now. An old man's spot. Yeah,

22:37

but I've got one on my head and you're

22:39

just like, well, you know, we've been doing Hamish

22:41

and A since we were like 19 years old.

22:43

So you're going to be, you are going to look

22:46

different and it does happen. But I was just like, oh,

22:48

you know, this isn't, things are

22:50

changing. I'm not saying I think you

22:52

do a good job and I've come to it

22:54

together. Oh, I pop the occasional pimple and I'll

22:56

rub a moisturizer on my face one or two

22:58

every 20 days. And I feel like that's kept

23:00

me going. It doesn't mean you're an adolescent, just

23:03

as you get pimples. Exactly. So

23:05

Bex said, no, I've booked you in, you have to

23:07

go to this thing. I'm like, okay, I'll go. It

23:09

was seem like really important to her. I'm

23:12

thinking it's going to be fine. I mean, you

23:14

get face front massage, like great. Kind of like

23:16

a haircut. Like they put oils and stuff. I would

23:18

have thought. Zoe does it to me. She's done it

23:20

to me before at home with like go to stuff.

23:22

So she would just be like, come

23:24

on, we're doing something about this. And then there's

23:27

a particular order. Zoe always laughs at me because

23:29

I go, I just use all

23:31

her stuff in the bathroom because she has a

23:33

skincare company. But I rub it

23:35

on. Like sunscreen. Yeah, she's got a problem with how

23:37

rough I am rubbing it on. I was just like,

23:39

what are you doing? What are you doing? I was

23:41

like, well, if there's some leftover, I rub it through

23:43

the beard. Exactly. Apparently there's

23:45

this like circle thing you meant to do

23:47

around your eyes. Now I do it

23:50

all like face wash. Doesn't matter what the cream is.

23:52

It just gets a vigorous rubbing. I'll tell you what

23:54

though, on the haircare

23:57

side of things, this is sort of facial because

23:59

of beard. But Jack, do you do this with

24:02

Bianca's products in the bar? If Zoe's away and I know

24:04

I'm not going to get caught, she's not going to walk

24:06

into the shower, I'll go wild

24:08

with her shampoos and conditioners in my

24:10

beard. Like I take, I treat

24:13

my beard to a day spa. Yes.

24:17

And it is amazing. She's called me once and she's

24:19

told me off because there was like a hundred dollar

24:21

shampoo in there or something. But

24:24

I, it feels incredible. Like I,

24:26

it's one of my favorite things to do is

24:28

to have a legal day spas for my beard.

24:30

When Zoe can't catch me. And it's like taking

24:32

in a, like you find a rescue dog

24:35

and you like take it to one of your dog's

24:37

day spas and stuff. It's like watching a reality show

24:40

on Bravo. He's got his beard on the street. I'm

24:44

doing all these wild treatments to this hair. Well, this

24:46

is what I'm thinking. It's

24:48

not that these days, they electrocute your

24:50

face. What? They

24:53

electrocute your face. It's like some scene out of a James

24:55

Bond where they're trying to get the codes off him or

24:57

something. So I lie

24:59

back down and she puts

25:01

blackout goggles on me. Right?

25:04

She said, this is for the safety

25:06

of your eyes. I'm like, hang on. What lotion in

25:08

my eyes? Yeah,

25:10

you don't want to get suds in there. I think I'll

25:12

cope. And then she

25:14

says, it'll feel like just a bit

25:17

of warmth like barley. Then

25:19

I hear, then I hear, then

25:21

I hear this sound. And

25:27

that wand comes closer to your face

25:29

and she starts electrocuting my face. Sounds

25:31

like she's starting the barbecue. It

25:34

does. You actually hold the gas and then

25:36

once it engages, twist it to lower. It

25:38

won't engage, so you twist it to lower

25:40

flight. It's like a

25:43

Guantanamo facial. It was the weirdest thing. She

25:45

said, I thought it might hurt. It hurt

25:47

so much. What's the point of the electrocution?

25:49

She said it. To stimulate skin cells

25:52

or something. Yeah, simulate something. And.

25:54

Get away with a lot. Stimulations is

25:57

such a great buzzword for like

25:59

the. lights, the lasers, the,

26:02

you know, the red light mask you see. Yeah.

26:04

It's just all about, oh no, it penetrates deep. And

26:06

that's the other trick too. This, oh, it goes deep.

26:09

Yeah. Sorry. It's

26:12

happening backstage. You'll see it later.

26:14

So one point I was trying

26:16

to, I was like, if Japet

26:18

gets this done, and she's

26:20

never mentioned that it hurts, like it

26:22

was very painful. And at one point

26:24

I squirmed a lot and

26:26

she said, is this sore? And

26:29

I said, yes. She said,

26:31

maybe it might, for a male's face,

26:33

it may be exploding the hair follicles

26:36

in your beard. Have you shaved today?

26:38

And I was like, no,

26:40

I hadn't. She goes, well, next time you're in here, like

26:43

there's not going to be a next time. She

26:45

said, next. Is it because you're such a leather face? Like

26:47

you've got, you do have that sort of weathered old beaten

26:49

up face. You're such a leather face

26:51

that it can't break through the skin. Whereas Beck

26:54

is like silk. I think it's just, I think

26:56

it's the hair. I think it's the hair. No,

26:58

I think it's the leather face. I

27:02

think it's like trying to get a staple through a handbag.

27:06

She couldn't do it. So

27:08

she says, I'll just try and stay above

27:10

the beard line. And we're hearing, as

27:13

it's still going through and occasionally grabbing me. Then

27:17

she noticed, I go, and I

27:20

says, are you smelling something? I say, yes. She

27:22

goes, that'd just be burnt skin. What

27:25

is this place? This place that Beck

27:27

has sent me to. So I said,

27:29

okay, I think that's enough of that. I'm

27:32

smelling that pretty strongly. And

27:34

she said, right. So you're not enjoying that. I

27:36

said, no, no, no. She goes, well, I'll just

27:38

finish up with. It's like the origin story for

27:40

a Marvel villain. Leather

27:42

face. You know, he

27:44

went to, he went to get a beauty

27:47

facial one time and it went wrong. Yeah.

27:50

She then says, that's okay. We'll just finish

27:52

up with inside your mouth. They

27:55

electrocute the inside of your mouth. The inside

27:57

of the cheeks. The inside of the cheeks.

27:59

to try and apparently to try and

28:01

stimulate the muscles inside and pull it

28:03

up. And I stimulated

28:06

these mouth muscles by saying, no, I'm

28:08

not going to. Yeah. Oh,

28:10

no, thanks. Not doing that. Yes.

28:13

But I will tell you the code. How much was

28:15

this? How much? Don't know, because Beck paid for it.

28:18

But I tell you what. We've got bad news. At

28:20

no point today have I thought you looked any

28:22

different. Yes, I haven't noticed either. In

28:24

fact, if I had to, you've had to look at

28:27

the black box recording in my head. When

28:29

you sat down, I was like, there's all leather face. I

28:33

think, unfortunately, I can't lie because it's in my

28:35

log already. It's in, it was said. The only

28:37

thing I've noticed about Andy today is when Hamish

28:39

pointed out his old man spots, so you do

28:42

look older to me than normal. She might've stimulated

28:44

it. She wanted to get rid of it. She

28:46

said, can I burn off the old man spot?

28:48

Right. She didn't refer

28:50

to it as the old man spot. Let me get

28:52

this lightsaber. I'm going to poke it through your head.

28:55

No, keep it Ando. Hey,

29:02

boy, are we excited about this one? After speaking

29:04

to Charles last week on the pod, if you

29:06

missed it, please don't have to go back to

29:08

the start, but just catch that one because it helps for this

29:10

segment, but he wrote in hamishnanny.com.

29:14

He said, brace yourselves for the

29:16

most ribbiting special skill.

29:19

And he had that ribbiting in quotation

29:21

marks because it was frog related. And

29:24

he spoke of a girl

29:27

that could identify a frog by its

29:29

croak. And we thought that's our show.

29:31

If that's true. This is

29:33

what special skills were invented for. We had

29:35

the early days catastrophe with, is it

29:37

a duck, is it a coot? And

29:39

we've learnt our sort of species

29:42

lesson there. Maybe we're not the show

29:44

for ducks. No. We could be the

29:47

place. Is it a duck,

29:49

is it a coot? A coot is a

29:51

duck. We could be the place for frogs

29:53

and people that can identify their individual croaks.

29:56

Charles has put us in contact

29:58

with Jordan. She. joins us

30:00

now. Ahoy. Hi. Now,

30:03

Jordan, you are a young

30:05

woman that is specialized in amphibian

30:08

pronunciation or croaks and ribbits.

30:10

What is your title in the fro- like what,

30:13

what degree do you have? Do you have a

30:15

frog related degree or are you just an enthusiast?

30:18

Well, a ditical, a me, a ditical

30:20

and bee. So I am a, we

30:24

call, we're called a herpetologist. So

30:26

I study reptiles and amphibians. Okay.

30:30

I am currently doing my PhD. So

30:32

I'll also be, I'll almost be a

30:34

doctor in frogs. But

30:36

I, yeah, my,

30:38

my day job not

30:41

long ago was at the

30:43

frog ID app. So I was a

30:45

frog ID validator. So my

30:47

nine to five job was listening

30:49

to frog calls and identifying them.

30:52

Yeah, based on their croaks. Oh my

30:54

gosh. So do people send them in? Is that how

30:57

it works? Do people send in and they go, I

30:59

recorded this frog here and I think it's this frog.

31:01

Yes. Yeah. So the frog ID app is a free

31:04

app that you can download. And

31:06

yeah, it's, you can go outside and record your

31:08

frogs in your backyard or in your local area

31:10

and then they get sent to us. And

31:13

there's a team of us doing this.

31:15

So it's not just me. I'm not

31:17

the only frog call export. Is

31:21

it a free app that does involve in-app

31:23

purchases? Like,

31:26

could it be like, whoa, you've requested the Toad

31:28

Pack. That will be $4.99. We

31:33

probably should have thought of that, but no, it's all completely

31:35

free. Good on you. I

31:37

mean, so if you guys are

31:40

all obviously volunteering your services here

31:42

to help mankind's understanding of frogs.

31:45

We know Carly, Carly our producer

31:47

who has sourced today's frog calls.

31:50

She's a convert. She bloody loves that. Completely

31:53

fallen in love with frogs and frog calls. Can

31:56

I ask a question? We've listened. I

31:58

listened. We listened to a few of these just before we. got

32:00

you on. To me, it's a

32:03

few of them actually sounded, I thought

32:05

Andy was doing a funny, sounded like

32:07

Andy doing the frog call. Like some

32:09

of them sound like a human mucking

32:12

around. Did you ever have people send them

32:14

in that were doing that, that were like,

32:16

let's, let's see if we can stitch up the frog

32:19

people and we'll send in us doing the voice? Oh,

32:21

absolutely. If I could get money

32:24

for every time that someone had

32:26

just went ribbit and then started

32:28

laughing. Yeah. Guys,

32:30

that's not on. The frog people that

32:32

volunteer in their time, they're working hard,

32:34

they don't need prank croaks coming

32:36

in. Anyone leave a fart? There's

32:39

a few, but I don't know if they're

32:42

on purpose or accidental. As

32:44

we've seen from this show, both are

32:46

possible. Jordan, thank you so

32:49

much for doing this for us. Charles,

32:51

the one that recommended you, you seem

32:53

like you got a supreme skill, but

32:55

we do have to test that. There's

32:57

going to be five frogs with five

32:59

different sounds. You said you're confident

33:01

you can do this down the phone, which is

33:03

incredible. We've checked. There's no

33:05

type of frog shazam where you can be holding the

33:07

phone up to some kind of app that identifies it

33:09

for you. So it'll be coming out of your brain.

33:12

Five of them. Hamley saying four out of five gets

33:15

her a coin. Yeah, yeah,

33:17

I think four out of five will get you a

33:19

hey, mission Andy coin. Jordan, are you ready?

33:21

I hope so. I think so. Yes, let's

33:24

do it. So

33:33

what was that frog? He

33:35

Jordan will know just

33:38

one croak and she'll guess

33:40

the time. Now,

33:43

what was that frog? Jordan

33:45

will know. Let's

33:48

hope she lives up to

33:50

the high. We

33:52

really do. The hype is high. The hype is high. Jordan.

33:56

We're going to be very quiet. No

33:58

fake sounds. But, hold

34:01

him in boys. Ahhh! Can't

34:04

promise anything for Jack. Ah,

34:07

here's your first prop. Ooh,

34:16

okay. Um, that,

34:21

hmm, I'm gonna take, I guess.

34:25

Mm-hmm. Hmm, I'm

34:27

worried you've already stumped me. Um...

34:30

So are we. Mm.

34:33

That, uh... Chuck

34:37

any odd frog in there. Um,

34:41

a tree frog. No, it was

34:43

a Martin's Toadlet. Ahhh,

34:46

okay. Does that sound familiar

34:48

now? It's not like I said, oh gosh,

34:51

of course, it's a Martin. That

34:54

looks quite a rare species, so you really, you

34:56

threw me a loop straight away. I have to

34:58

pick up my game. No, that's my

35:00

fault. It is quite small, no, it's

35:02

medium-sized frog, only 3.5 centimetres in length

35:05

from memory. Alright,

35:07

alright, Jordan, you can now not miss

35:09

any of the next four. Here's your

35:12

second. Alright, you're boys for a great

35:14

comeback. Okay. Hmm,

35:22

okay, this one's definitely one of

35:24

the Latoria Frogs. So

35:27

a tree frog based frog.

35:30

Um... I

35:33

wanna say it

35:35

might be a Centralean tree frog?

35:39

Hmm. Ahhh!

35:42

It might not be. No, Jordan, it

35:44

might be that. We've

35:46

got written here, Dally Waters Frog

35:48

from a cyclorama business. Oh,

35:51

I know. Yeah. Or Dally

35:53

Waters, probably even found around the Dally Waters area,

35:55

but how do we feel about

35:57

that now we know the name? Does that sound...

36:00

more like it. I mean

36:02

yes I am aware of that frog, the

36:04

NT is not my strong point but I

36:06

did claim that I could do any Australian

36:08

frog so. True but maybe maybe

36:10

with. Not doing well. But with three

36:12

fast ones you could finish with honour.

36:14

Yes that's true. The key point up

36:16

for grabs but then if you miss

36:18

on the next one you definitely risk

36:20

being one of the worst players on

36:22

our show. Yeah we're right at the

36:25

tipping point here. Yeah of being still

36:27

memorable but for very bad reasons. I

36:32

should probably claim now that this is not

36:34

a reflection on the frog id app this

36:36

is an reflection on one

36:39

false claimed employee. No

36:42

Jordan you've got this. Here comes frog

36:44

number three. Okay. Okay

36:55

I know this one 100%. Go

36:58

for it. This is the quacking frog

37:01

from WA. She's got it. Quacking frog

37:03

from WA. All right here we go.

37:05

All right here we go. The wall

37:07

of shame. Well charging back. Charging. Charging

37:09

back. What amazing that frogs can

37:12

quack. Yeah. Because they say

37:14

that isn't that they're saying if it looks

37:16

like a duck and quacks like a duck

37:18

is it doesn't look like a duck because

37:20

we have the picture of the frog here.

37:22

Yes but it's still the quacks like a

37:24

duck. Quacks like a duck that's why they've

37:26

included looks like. It looks

37:28

like a frog and quacks like a duck. It's a

37:30

quacking frog. Okay number four here we go.

37:32

Boom go for it. Okay.

37:42

I'm not I'm not popping out of this

37:44

one but I think it's the perfect socialist

37:46

frogs for a nursery frog but

37:49

I can't tell you the exact species. We

37:52

don't have that information to have. We don't

37:54

you sort of keep mentioning it's almost like

37:57

you're mentioning like the band it's from. I

38:00

can't remember the singer's name. I'm a complete singer, yeah. I

38:03

know it's someone from Wutang Clan, but I

38:05

can't remember which guy it is. We

38:09

have down here, Rain Whistling Frog. Is that

38:11

part of the same band? No,

38:15

it's not. Oh, no. Okay.

38:19

Now we're in real tricky territory. Do you

38:21

want to give up now at a 25%

38:24

hit rate or

38:26

play on for the possibility? The

38:29

tricky thing is the final frog is a

38:31

Northern Territory frog, not your favourite area of

38:33

frogs. Oh, true.

38:36

Look, I'm going to go down with the ship. Great.

38:39

I've, you know, I've committed, so let's see.

38:42

Okay, here we go. It's

38:50

like he kind of is getting zapped or something, doesn't it? Yeah, sort of.

38:53

It sort of sounds like you're stepping on it. The

38:55

noise when my cat's makes it, you step on him. How

38:58

do you feel about that one? Okay. It's

39:02

a toadlet species. Correct. Good.

39:05

Good. Which is a frog we

39:07

all have learnt today. It's probably

39:09

about five or six toadlets it could

39:12

be. So I'm just

39:14

going to take my

39:16

best educated guess and say Northern

39:18

Toadlet. What would number two

39:20

guess have been? LAUGHTER Hmm,

39:24

okay. Maybe a Howard Springs token. Yeah.

39:27

She's on your second guess every time. Second

39:30

guess specialist. Jordan, well done. We

39:34

loved having you on. You cannot tell everybody that you're that's your

39:36

special skill because we have proved that you can't do it, but

39:38

we will send you out a token of no value. It's

39:42

probably one of our best fails, to be honest. It's probably

39:44

one of our most interesting fails. Yeah, an interesting fail. I

39:46

mean, there was no, I mean, because also the skill level

39:48

requires a lot of work. Yeah.

39:52

I mean, I was surprised to find out. Oh, I'm

39:54

much better than throwing an engineer a ceiling. He

39:57

did get very close on his second chance. Thank

40:00

you very much for joining us. Appreciate it.

40:03

Thanks for having me. Bye. Thanks,

40:06

John. Bye. Tell

40:13

me if you agree with this

40:15

theory, right? Here's

40:17

my, here's my, I'll go general theory on

40:19

the speed of things. Okay. Familiarity

40:23

breeds are like speed. Okay. If

40:26

you're familiar with something, you can be fast. We've talked about before with speed

40:28

corners in the home. Yes. I

40:30

was thinking about this the other day. I was like, I

40:32

don't think I'd nominate this as a special skill, but

40:35

I reckon I could get close where here's

40:37

one example of it in nature. If

40:40

you showed me someone driving into their driveway

40:42

at home, I could tell you how long

40:44

they've lived in there. That's

40:46

so true. Because we've got

40:49

like a quite an awkward angle on

40:51

our driveway. And when we first moved

40:53

in, it was a slow approach. I

40:55

come into that thing now. With

40:59

the zero braking and

41:01

land and I landed on a dime. Yeah. I

41:04

landed on a dime and you go, that guy's lived in that house.

41:06

He's, it has to be tears. That's a tear. Yeah.

41:09

Has to be tears. My whole warehouse apartment,

41:11

which everyone used to go, oh my God, it's so tight to get in

41:13

and out of. I'm like, what do you

41:16

mean? No, we, we, we, when we say

41:18

your place, we dented the car door coming

41:20

out of your driveway. You've always known the

41:22

parameters of your cars though, Andy, from when

41:24

Andy and I first met and he's on

41:26

his P's and would take very

41:29

tight gaps in the traffic. Hmm.

41:33

Hmm. Without flinching and we would

41:35

always come up with a, he really knew the

41:37

parameters of the Nissan Pintao. I,

41:39

I saw a guy the other day I was,

41:41

I saw a guy in a Tesla Jack, one

41:44

of your friends in a Tesla three who really

41:46

didn't know the parameters of his car. He didn't

41:48

know. Terrified trying to get between the garbage

41:50

truck and the traffic parked on

41:52

the street like a good foot either side.

41:54

And I'm like, mate, you have the

41:57

world's best radars on that car. Yes. It

42:00

varies like it's, I find the

42:02

Tesla's the first car I've had with any kind of

42:05

sensors on it that tell you if you're

42:07

getting close to something. So I don't really

42:09

know what to compare it to, but it

42:11

starts making a lot of noise before there's

42:13

any real danger. We may have talked about

42:15

this before, but there should be different modes

42:17

within the car about how much censoring you

42:19

want in your car. We talked about it

42:21

with my car's lost its ability

42:23

to sense it. My car's getting old because

42:26

I hit, remember I had, I hit the

42:28

tree, then it beat. Fucking had woken up

42:30

the security card. Sorry. That's

42:34

my one. So coming into my gate,

42:36

like there's only one way to get through

42:38

it. And I fit in it every time except the car goes,

42:40

yeah, yeah. I

42:43

think it should just be, hey, I'm cool, bro. Should be

42:45

like, I'm all right. Or it learns that you go there

42:47

all the time and you haven't had an accident there. Yeah.

42:49

Just cause just letting you know, and we're entering a relaxed mode now. Here's

42:52

another example of speed. Familiarity.

42:55

Familiarity, breeding speed. In

42:58

my house is one of the crystal car washes, like, you

43:00

know, four minute car wash for 16, whatever

43:03

12 bucks, nine bucks, whatever it is. You

43:06

have to drive onto, first you

43:08

have to drive onto a circular turning thing

43:10

to line the car up. And then

43:12

you have to drive the car to the bit where

43:15

the wheel goes in the guiding system. The

43:18

franticness with like when you're driving your front,

43:21

when you're driving, you're inching your car forward

43:23

to get the wheel into the guide thing

43:25

for the car wash. The

43:28

way the guy waves at you like, come on,

43:30

come on, come on. Like the speed at which

43:32

he's calling you in. It's like you're a hundred

43:35

meters from the thing. Like he is

43:37

like, come on, come on, come on. But

43:39

I can't be that far off. Like I'm almost

43:41

hitting you, but he's like so angry at you.

43:43

Like just come, come, come, come, come. Like, you

43:45

know, do you need a bit of extra oomph

43:47

to get over? Like, is it to catch the

43:50

wheel? No, you don't. And then he changes. It's

43:52

always the same guy. And he goes from, and

43:54

I've said to the kids, like, watch how fast

43:56

this guy will go. I'm like, come on, come

43:58

on. match the

44:00

scenario. He waves so fast

44:02

and you're inching forward like, you know,

44:04

creeping forward and he's acting

44:06

like, mate, you keep this speed up, it's going to

44:08

take you an hour to get on the plate. So

44:10

he's like, more, more, more, more, more. But you inch

44:12

forward and as soon as you near it, he's frantically

44:14

yelling stop, like you're about to run him over. He

44:20

needs another gear. He needs to

44:22

go nearly, nearly. Yeah, and you'd

44:24

think he'd be familiar. And

44:27

he's doing it every day. And it's the same.

44:29

It's actually the same now I think about it

44:31

as airport security. You know, when you've had like,

44:34

you don't want no one to do the wrong thing at

44:36

airport security. If it goes off and you go back and

44:38

you take your belt off or whatever. The wave

44:40

through after that, like, come on, you're holding

44:42

everyone up. It's like, all right, we get

44:45

it. You're here every day. I don't

44:47

have the speed capable to me because I don't

44:49

operate in this system every day. You guys should

44:51

see me in my driveway. I'm amazing. Okay. I

44:53

wish I could just show you. I'm going to

44:56

get a little video of me driving my car

44:58

into my driveway to show them that I'm actually

45:00

very good at speed in situations that I'm familiar

45:02

with. I love taking time out to view that.

45:10

Thanks for listening. The Hamish and

45:12

Andy podcast will return next week.

45:14

Catch up or contribute at hamishandandy.com