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1:08

Hello and welcome to Help I Sexed With

1:10

My Boss, the podcast where we help you

1:12

navigate the challenges of modern life. Answering

1:15

your 21st century questions and finding solutions

1:17

to those everyday dilemmas like what will

1:19

happen if I don't get my daily

1:21

bliss hour? I think we're finding out.

1:24

And what do you do when you

1:26

forget to pack a hairdryer on tour?

1:29

And of course what should you do

1:31

if you've accidentally sexed with your boss?

1:33

But we're not usual agony ants are

1:35

we? William Hanson, the UK's leading etiquette

1:38

expert. No we're not, Jordan North radio

1:40

presenter, I'm more Chelsea Flower Show, your

1:42

more home-based garden centre. It's from Alexandra.

1:44

Didn't have to rhyme anymore. Well not

1:48

if they're funny enough in their own way. No because

1:50

I think we're struggling now. Don't

1:53

be rude to Alexandra. I think that was the best one

1:55

of our nages that's what I'm saying. I think we've been

1:57

struggling for a while because you have to make them rhyme.

1:59

We've been struggling for six and a half years, love. I

2:01

know. We peaked

2:03

with I'm More Bucky and Palace, You're

2:06

More Crystal Palace. I think we were in Belfast

2:08

last night, and I think we struggled with I'm

2:10

More Belfast, You're More Bellend. Yeah. Well,

2:12

I didn't hear any contributions from you. I

2:15

do jolly joke of the week. I do

2:17

esseghetemology. I write the scripts. You just need

2:19

to come up with me. You write the

2:21

scripts! I

2:24

write all the scripts. I must have missed

2:26

that minute. I pick all the best letters

2:28

and dilemmas. You

2:30

just need to come up with, yeah, I'm

2:32

More Yomo, and the oretic etymology. I

2:35

don't mind, you know. I'm going to swing for you

2:37

in a minute. It's how the dynamic works. I don't

2:39

mind doing most of the work, but just your

2:42

bits, I ask. Let's just bring a

2:44

bit more to the table. We're

2:47

currently recording in Dublin. We've

2:50

been in Dublin. I'm not gonna lie, I'm four Guinness Deep. We're

2:53

about to go on stage in Dublin. Indeed.

2:57

Where Jordan will do all the heavy lifting and I'll

2:59

just do nothing as per. So,

3:02

firstly to the people of Belfast and Dublin, thank you

3:04

for such a lovely end to the tour. Now, I'm

3:06

gonna have a GND, but you are going

3:09

to have your token Guinness. Can you not

3:11

just have a pint of Guinness? Just have

3:13

a sip. I've tried it here in Dublin.

3:17

Just one more time, just to make me happy. But can

3:19

I just say- Well, what are you gonna do to make

3:21

me happy? Yeah,

3:23

wouldn't you like to know? But

3:26

can I just say, Belfast and Dublin's probably one

3:28

of my favourite cities that we talk to. We've

3:30

been well received at many cities on this tour. Well,

3:39

can I do the toast with the gin and the bonnet?

3:41

Okay, who are we toasting to? Well, it's to the lovely

3:44

people of Belfast and Dublin for the end of the tour.

3:46

To Belfast and Dublin. Thank you. And

3:49

a second toast to the anonymous hairdresser who

3:52

got in touch last week. We

3:54

promised to toast to them. So this is to all

3:56

the barbers and hairdressers. You

3:58

trying to speak? Ah! What? I've

4:01

split the G. No you haven't. I've

4:03

split the G. No you haven't. Yeah

4:05

I have. I've split the G. Well not from

4:07

this angle you haven't. Oh

4:09

no I haven't. You're not even half

4:11

way down the G. Do you know

4:13

how to split the G? You drink

4:15

enough until it... the sort of the

4:17

white... Look how close that is. But

4:20

hang on, where is splitting the G? So you've got to

4:22

get it between the harp and the G. Oh

4:25

I thought splitting the G was you went to the like

4:27

the sort of the upward bit on the G. No

4:30

it's got to be between the harp and the G. Oh I'm sorry. Just

4:33

one little more sip and that would have been done. Well

4:36

have another sip then. No no because you've got

4:38

to do it in one haven't you? Oh I

4:40

see. It's what passes for light entertainment in this

4:42

part of the world. But anyway we're backstage in

4:44

Dublin. That'll be... how many pints

4:46

is that? Well Stuart's here so don't tell him.

4:50

Because he is our boss and we are

4:52

on stage in two hours. Yes we are.

4:54

How many pints have you had boyo? Let's

4:57

just talk about Belfast last night

4:59

and the wonderful act of kindness

5:02

that we received. Honestly. We

5:04

had finished the show, we were en

5:06

route back to the hotel to check

5:08

in and all the taxes that we

5:10

were trying to call. Local taxes, taxi

5:12

apps, nothing was working. And

5:14

the absolutely lovely door staff

5:17

at Queen's, Mandela Hall, part

5:19

of Queen's University, in particular

5:21

Stephen Chris, just

5:24

gave us lifts. Chris and Steve was like,

5:26

here I show a jump in, I'm on my way home. Steve

5:29

was from Bournemouth so he didn't tap that. Oh

5:32

he was actually, weren't he? And

5:34

they gave us a lift home. I know. That

5:37

is so sweet. And I said,

5:39

were you finishing your shift? You were driving us en

5:41

route home. No they were then going back. Because in

5:43

this part of the world people have got hearts of

5:45

gold, they can't do enough here. Well

5:47

I would say people have hearts of gold in other parts of

5:49

the world as well. So it's up here, down here, they're just

5:52

in Belfast, I'm doubling, they were

5:54

lovely. And what I love about when

5:57

you get a car in Northern Ireland, I've noticed this. every,

6:00

whether it's a taxi, whether it's a bouncer giving you

6:02

a lift on, like Chris and Steve. Well,

6:05

Brian today, who drove us from Belfast to

6:07

Dublin, they all like to

6:09

give you a tour guide. Did you?

6:11

No, we were having quite an intimate

6:13

conversation. We were. In the

6:17

back of our taxi

6:19

today. We got like a mini

6:21

bus from Belfast to

6:23

Dublin and we were being told a certain

6:25

trick about how can I put this? Well,

6:28

it's amazing what you can do with an ice cube. Let's put

6:30

it that way. Basically, we're being told by one member of the

6:32

team, we can do with an ice cube and eight all sex.

6:35

And we were having this, we'll

6:37

all be on it. I'll be honest. We were all like, he

6:39

had us in the palm of art. No names have been named,

6:42

but he was telling us about this trick and I was like,

6:44

Oh God. But then two minutes in and

6:46

then he said, no, no, no, we were like two minutes

6:48

in and was like, really? And we're all like listening. He's

6:50

like, yeah, it's brilliant. You've got to try

6:53

it. You know, and then Brian, he was

6:55

driving us over someone. If

6:57

you just, if you just look to the

6:59

left here, you can see there. That's, that's

7:01

the Royal residence that now half of Northern

7:04

Ireland don't like that. The other

7:06

half do. And then he started explaining that

7:08

he went saying, anyway, I booked that ice

7:10

cube. Yes.

7:14

So, but they like to give us anyway, we're

7:18

on about somewhere else. It was all checked. Anyway,

7:20

now I'm just going to interrupt you there. That's

7:22

across in this bridge is like being in a

7:24

history lesson. It was. And can you tell us

7:26

what this bridge is? This is where the

7:28

King from the 18th century. Yes.

7:30

The battle of the boy battle of the boy. It's

7:33

in all our calendars. Yeah. And

7:35

why is that? I don't know. But it's sort

7:38

of a fact. It's in July, I think maybe

7:40

is it? I don't know. Anyway, so we've had

7:42

a great tour. Can you have just one sip

7:44

again? It's just for the camera. I was hoping

7:46

you'd forget. Okay, come on. Have you got this?

7:49

Alex? Cheers. And you can

7:51

click this. Clinking

7:53

is common. No, but not with your chairs. Slanchy.

7:56

What's the Slanchy? You've no more for you. I

7:58

hope I'm saying that right. Sláinte.

8:00

Sláinte. Shall I

8:03

split in the G? I'm not drinking that much.

8:05

Just have a sip. Even

8:08

that tiny bit of foam on my lip. This

8:10

will be a good social bit. I

8:24

just don't know how people drink that. I'm

8:27

sorry. It's the best

8:29

drink on planet Earth. It's not.

8:31

It is. It's creamy. No. Anyway.

8:35

Anyway, look, let's just talk about a couple of

8:37

things that we've talked about on tour for those

8:39

that haven't been able to come and see us either

8:41

in the cinema or live. Your

8:43

parents haven't been

8:45

able to join us on this tour. No. Because

8:48

it's very sad. Well, it's very sad

8:50

that they can't join us, obviously. But

8:52

they have been in Turkey. Yeah. So,

8:54

Wendy, as said,

8:57

basically, me and you had to go into Turkey.

9:00

And we're going to get our teeth

9:02

done. Right. So, we're going to

9:04

go to Turkey. But she's like, I don't

9:06

want, don't tell anyone, don't tell any

9:08

of your neighbours because I don't want them knowing. And

9:11

then my dad sent a picture in the WhatsApp group that we'll put

9:13

up in our social media. Don't

9:15

tell anyone. We've been putting this picture up

9:17

on our big screens on

9:20

the tour. And it's basically

9:22

with dad with turkey teeth, but Wendy's haven't gone

9:24

quite to plan. No. Your dad looks like a

9:26

bold ryland. He does. My

9:29

dad looks like a bold ryland. It

9:31

could only happen to me. He's got his teeth and mine haven't.

9:33

So Wendy's hasn't quite. So, what actually has happened to your mum?

9:36

I don't really know. Because

9:38

also, I was asking somebody else who has had

9:40

a similar process that you don't know. Like,

9:43

what actually happens to have turkey teeth? And

9:46

the process is horrific. Is horrific.

9:50

And you know me, I don't mind a bit of some enhancements

9:52

here and there. I would absolutely not

9:54

have my teeth done. To be fair, they didn't have the best

9:56

teeth. They won't mind me saying them that. Your

10:00

dad's got beautiful teeth now. It was 70th George. We

10:02

just used to have sweets for breakfast and no one told us

10:04

to brush our teeth. You know, he did it every now and

10:06

then. Okay. In

10:08

Burnley. Yes. True.

10:11

Well, anyway, we hope your mum... There

10:14

is a solution for your mum. She's got to have

10:16

dentures, but she keeps losing them. So

10:18

she's very much like me. Arr, arr. I'm

10:21

very much my mother's son. She's

10:23

like... So what's currently in your

10:25

mother's... So when I ring her, I can tell whether

10:27

she's got them in or not. That's all I'm going

10:29

to say. So I go up and I'm a dentist,

10:32

guys. You're picking a night there. I'm like, where was

10:34

last place she had them? Right,

10:36

I'm having a lovely six weeks, isn't it? She's

10:38

had a dog item other day in her mouth.

10:40

Right. So she had a... Hang on,

10:42

which dog? I thought you died. No, she's got Katie,

10:44

aren't she? Oh, of course. The other dog that's named

10:46

after my sister-in-law, that's really weird, and we don't know

10:48

why. It's a lot of shit we need to

10:51

unravel there, but... Yes. Yes,

10:53

for another day. Okay. So

10:55

yeah, they're getting turkey teeth. I'll put a picture

10:57

up on socials. That looks great. He does look

10:59

very good. I've had my brace

11:01

for two years now. They said it'd be six months. You

11:03

could go and have your turkey teeth done. I wish I

11:05

did. Would have taken... Yeah, but if it had

11:07

gone wrong, it could have been game over

11:09

for you. Yeah, but I kind of wish I'd got them now. You've

11:12

got lovely teeth now. Nearly there. Two

11:15

years, though. Two years, I've been having this

11:17

brace in. I think you

11:19

had lice teeth to begin with. I

11:21

don't think you needed them done. I think

11:23

you were lovely before. No, that's not

11:26

true. Look at them now. Well, you

11:28

need to show me a before picture

11:30

maybe, and then I'll rethink that. But

11:32

anyway, I've just sent Lucas out for

11:34

some eyeliner. So... What

11:37

is always fascinating? I mean, I've known you for

11:39

an awfully long time. We've done this podcast

11:41

together for nearly as long. Is

11:45

what you fixate on what you don't? You're

11:48

a fascinating creature. You

11:51

fixate on whether there's eyeliner or not. You

11:55

don't need... The show is fine without eyeliner. But

11:57

yesterday, you were like... You were having an entire...

20:00

the different parts of the theater. Anyway, we'll

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22:16

It's William, William, the etiquette

22:18

geek. His knowledge, knowledge, quite

22:20

unique. He'll give you manners,

22:22

manners, subtle tweak. It's time

22:25

for William's etiquette, etiquette, terminology

22:27

of the week. Welcome back,

22:29

Jindiva. Say

22:32

bless you. Bless you. Thank you. Come

22:35

here. Welcome

22:38

back, Jindivas. We're here still backstage at

22:40

the Limpa Theatre in Dublin, and

22:42

I'm going to tell you all about... ..looking

22:47

to the light. Ah! Excuse

22:49

me. Say bless

22:51

you. Bless you. Thank

22:53

you. Still. Oh,

22:57

someone's kicking me allergies off. Do

22:59

you think I'm allergic to Guinness? Oh, my

23:01

God, what happens if you are? Oh,

23:04

my God, again. Door's

23:06

open at 6.30. It's

23:13

gone. It's gone.

23:16

Wish you'd got... Not worse than the sneeze going, is there?

23:20

It's an outburst. It's like when you think you're going

23:22

to... Murder. You

23:24

know, when you think, oh, it's gone and gone.

23:27

In the end of ten minutes, turn over.

23:31

Turn around. Are we ready? Yeah.

23:34

Yeah, let's get the analogy of the week. Thanks

23:36

for sticking with us, Jindivas. So

23:40

why are different parts of the theatre called different

23:42

parts? Well, when theatres appeared in Tudor Britain, they

23:45

were open to the elements, as natural light

23:47

was needed, because obviously there was no electricity, so

23:49

audiences could see what was happening on stage. Think

23:51

of Shakespeare's Globe, which is obviously a replica in

23:53

London, but it's sort of that concept. It's

23:56

a original one. No, it's a replica.

23:59

So these early... venues encircled a

24:01

pit that was in front of the

24:03

stage and was standing room only. Actual

24:06

seats were only found on

24:08

the tiers on higher levels. So

24:10

when artificial lights were developed in

24:12

Victorian Britain, theatres became enclosed and

24:15

simple benches were then added in

24:17

rows in the central pit. That

24:19

area still to this day is

24:21

known as the Stalls, which is

24:23

from the older English word stay.

24:25

So that's where we get stalls

24:27

from the old English day. The next level up

24:30

was the dress circle, which was so called because

24:32

people had to wear evening dress, black tie, white

24:34

tie, that sort of thing. The gallery at the

24:36

very top was often nicknamed the gods because it

24:38

was so close to heaven or the nosebleed section

24:41

you sometimes hear it called or the oxygen deprived

24:43

area as I've been calling it. And

24:45

then the boxes at the theatres, especially royal

24:48

boxes, often face

24:50

the audience and not the stage itself,

24:52

which seems completely illogical. Yeah, why

24:54

is that? But they were angled for the inhabitants

24:56

of the boxes basically to be seen by the

24:58

audience. So if you were in a box you

25:00

basically went to be seen. You weren't that interested

25:03

in what was going on on stage. It

25:05

was a bit showy. It was basically

25:07

the Instagram of its day. Yeah, it's

25:10

always been around. Yeah, same concept. So

25:12

those were the boxes and that's why often I hate sitting

25:15

in boxes at theatres because you just get such

25:17

a bad view

25:19

of what's going on stage. But if you've been sitting in

25:21

a box for our show, I hope you had a lovely

25:23

time. So most of the theatres we

25:25

have today in the UK, they're pretty much Victorian.

25:28

Yeah, I mean you've got some lovely, like the

25:30

Millennium Centre in Cardiff is a obviously Millennium Centre,

25:32

very recent, is a beautiful theatre because it's sort

25:34

of purpose-built in this day

25:36

and age. So it's spacious, there's

25:39

nice gaps between the seats, claustrophobic.

25:41

Because we've got bigger. Victorians

25:44

were a bit smaller than us, so

25:46

actually they had quite decent legroom comparatively.

25:48

Whereas now the legroom is absolutely rubbish.

25:51

Legroom in theatres is a big topic in our

25:53

household because obviously Mikey is six foot five, so

25:55

we are very familiar with which theatres and which

25:58

parts of the theatres are sitting. such

26:00

a shame because you love the theatre.

26:02

We do and for our American listeners

26:04

what we call the stools you would

26:06

call the orchestra. And

26:08

they don't have the royal circle because you know

26:10

royal family don't have that. That's

26:13

actually quite interesting. Well thank you so

26:15

much we do we do try. Anyway

26:17

shall we go on to the listeners

26:19

problems and dilemmas? Hallie William Jordan E.P.B

26:21

and chairman emeritus Stewart. I work for

26:23

a national D.A.B radio station. Don't worry

26:25

it's not the one you work or

26:27

have worked at for Jordan. Recently

26:30

it's become very clear that my manager and her

26:32

manager are having an affair. Other

26:34

employees have been dragged into it helping them cover

26:36

it up. I have conversed

26:39

with their spouses and children while on work calls and

26:41

find it so awkward when I know what is

26:43

going on. How can I tell my

26:45

bosses that what they are doing is completely wrong and

26:47

they need to focus on their marriages children and

26:49

jobs. Well

26:51

this is deep. It's great that me and Stuart

26:54

are fuming because it's a very small industry here's

26:56

radio and we've not heard this one yet. It's

27:01

a very small it's usually Stuart will go

27:03

have you heard I'm like yeah

27:06

yeah. So my so the anonymous means

27:08

Stuart like hello we're trying to piece

27:10

that together. He's the best for radio.

27:12

So let's work out the genders. So

27:15

anonymous's manager is a girl and her

27:17

manager so we don't actually know what

27:19

how they identify but we

27:22

know one of them is female. Okay

27:25

it's sad that others have been dragged in

27:27

to help cover that up. That reflects very badly

27:29

on your place of work. I would probably

27:31

look for another job because clearly they're all immoral.

27:33

Give me an hour. Do you really want to

27:35

work with them? After this recording yes give

27:37

me an hour. Tune

27:42

into the bonus on Friday where we'll

27:44

reveal. Give me an hour. I know

27:46

my son. I know I'm gonna a

27:49

national DAB. Yeah does that mean it's

27:51

not FM? Yeah I've already got an

27:53

idea what station it might be. Leave

27:55

it with me. Okay yeah I'm like

27:58

I'm like I can't an

28:00

alcoholic detective on those shows.

28:03

It's just like, just one more thing. I'll be able

28:05

to find that out in a half. Okay, well that's

28:07

really good. We shouldn't get involved in gossip. No, I

28:10

think you probably have to go and sit another boss

28:12

down and tell them that you think this is immoral

28:14

and why are they covering it up. I mean, you can't police

28:17

whether people are going to have affairs, but you shouldn't.

28:20

Other people should not be sort of complicit in

28:22

trying to cover it up. And we

28:24

said it many times before. And it will come

28:26

back to bite them. Yep, don't shit where you

28:28

eat. They've said it

28:30

many times before. Good advice. Do not shit where

28:32

you eat. We've got another anonymous one. Dear

28:35

William Jordan producer Ben Andiego, my brother is

28:37

a lost cause. I received a message from

28:39

him. Jesus, I've got any light hearted ones

28:41

today. I'm full Guinness

28:43

day pen. I'll be crying in a minute. My

28:46

brother is a lost cause. I received a message

28:48

from him saying he fucked it. Turns out he

28:50

forgot it was his best friend's wedding day in

28:52

which he was meant to be a groomsman. He

28:55

tends to ignore his phone. So it

28:57

took the groom 32 tries to get through

28:59

to him and by that point he missed

29:01

the ceremony. He swiftly got ready and just

29:03

about made dessert. They mean pudding. Is there

29:06

anything I can do about his tardiness

29:08

and inability to respond to messages, calls

29:10

and remember commitments? My wedding day

29:13

is coming up and I'm already sure he'll forget

29:15

something. Well, over to Mr.

29:17

Reliable. Right, two things. It

29:19

sounds like your brother is going through quite

29:21

a tough time. It sounds like he's

29:23

a mess. How? Just sounds like he's

29:25

a mess. Someone's ignoring the

29:28

phone 32 times. All I'm gonna

29:30

say is speaking for this place, it sounds like he's

29:32

going through really bad

29:34

anxiety period. If you're

29:36

ignoring your phone and it's ringing 32 times. You've been going

29:38

through an anxiety period for 34 years. Yeah,

29:41

pretty much, yeah. It sounds like your

29:43

brother is going through it. I might be

29:45

wrong here but a really deep state of anxiety

29:47

is going through an anxious period. If you're not

29:49

answering your phone after 34 times. But

29:52

I'm busy. You could just be sleeping.

29:54

And stressed and missed calls and stuff.

29:56

But yeah, but also nobody's a lost

29:58

cause. It was me. people

30:00

close to me who I fought with

30:03

a lost cause. And they've

30:05

managed, people can turn themselves around. And

30:08

maybe this, to be charitable, maybe this

30:10

is the opportunity that

30:12

they will realise. It sounds like

30:14

he needs help and probably this is probably the

30:16

best time to reach out to him. One

30:20

of my relatives I

30:23

didn't speak to for a long

30:25

time because

30:27

of, again, it was at a wedding. Weddings,

30:29

as Graham Norton says, weddings are designed

30:31

to annoy people. And that's

30:33

such a good answer, he certainly says. Yeah, it's

30:36

in my upcoming book. I use the similar term,

30:38

he's a lost cause, I'm done with him. And

30:41

then we ended up sorting it out. And we

30:43

didn't speak to him. How did you sort it

30:45

out? Communication? Communication, yeah. And

30:47

that was over a year we didn't speak.

30:50

Okay, so let's pretend that someone, this person

30:52

here, it was your friend, your groomsman. What

30:56

would you accept as the apology

30:59

from the miscreant? Would

31:01

you just go, oh, don't worry about it, mate. Or

31:03

how would you feel? If I

31:06

was the groomsman, I'd be like, you'd be pissed off,

31:08

but also part of me would be like, Jesus Christ,

31:10

they need help. They're missing

31:12

a wedding. I don't know, I feel sorry for

31:16

this person. What's

31:19

your advice? I

31:21

think you are. He's got a lot of making up to

31:23

do, don't get me wrong. He needs to bend over backwards.

31:26

I would say, don't write your

31:28

own jokes. It's in the George

31:30

later. Make sure you've got that camera,

31:32

Alex. This is going to be

31:34

some great content. Talk about a wide angle. Watching

31:37

some bear wring his jock out in William's

31:39

face. Could

31:42

you keep your dirty fantasies inside your mind?

31:44

Dip his jock in a pint of Guinness

31:46

and wring it out on William's face. Not

31:54

against the idea, are you? Just absolutely

31:56

speechless, if I'm honest. I

31:58

think Anonymous has to sit there. brother down and

32:00

talk to them and and

32:03

and yes see if they are okay and if

32:05

any if it is just they were just being

32:07

a twit and they overslept and didn't set their

32:09

alarm or didn't charge their phone then

32:12

yeah but i suspect it's not that if you're

32:14

saying they're a lost cause so to be fair

32:16

i've come around a little bit to jordan's way

32:18

of thinking but i also think personal responsibility there's

32:20

always two sides of the story right next one

32:22

please this one from millie starts off

32:24

promisingly in a cheery note hello boys

32:27

i'm a paramedic and

32:29

my dilemma came one evening a few months ago when

32:31

we had to take an elderly gentleman into hospital

32:33

after having a fall at home this

32:36

is a thigh slapper can i have a stu? where'd

32:39

you get your kicks? casualty bloody hell put

32:41

your foot in a couple of jesus like

32:43

a hard answer when we got to their home the

32:45

peach are you all right? is

32:49

everything all right at home? bloody hell excuse me

32:51

stu has been carrying this tour so of course

32:53

he's tired when we got

32:55

to their home the patient was waiting for

32:57

us with his wife after maneuvering the patient

32:59

out onto the carry chair the patient shouted

33:01

goodbye to his wife and we started

33:04

to wheel him away his

33:06

wife then screamed wait and shuffled across

33:08

the room as

33:10

he was strapped into this chair with us

33:13

holding him up his wife leaned down and

33:15

very enthusiastically snogged him i

33:17

was stood inches from the slimy debacle

33:19

unable to move away from the full

33:22

minute that they played tonsil tennis elderly

33:24

apparently okay finally they let each other

33:27

go when we were able to head

33:29

to the hospital what is

33:31

the etiquette for when someone next to you engages

33:33

in a loud and wet pda? shall

33:36

we role play? i

33:39

think that's quite sweet because they thought that was going to be the

33:41

last kiss do you do you

33:43

think there should be an age limit on snogging

33:46

no i don't i just think any person

33:48

of any age of any gender however they

33:50

identify should not publicly kiss

33:52

or god forbid anything else i mean i'll

33:55

just kiss on the cheek fine snog We

34:00

do not need to see that in public. Yeah.

34:02

There is no need for that. I

34:04

think you're right. Because kiss,

34:07

show an affection's fine, isn't it? In

34:09

moderation, when all Spanish. But just

34:11

gently, a little touch on the knee, touch

34:14

on the elbow. I agree with that, but in this

34:16

case, I think they thought it might have been a

34:18

last kiss. Well, then, OK,

34:20

OK, OK, fair point. But

34:23

in which case, all

34:25

these people need to do is

34:27

just turn to the paramedics and say, you

34:29

just give us a moment, please. And they

34:31

would respectfully turn away, and then they could

34:34

go for it. That would have been better.

34:36

But in films, when they PDA and stuff,

34:38

big romantic scenes and that. That is make

34:40

believe. You

34:44

should, what? But also, it's a

34:46

film. OK. Oh, Gone

34:48

With Wind, ready. When did you

34:50

watch Gone With The Wind? It's one of his favorite films.

34:53

Is it? Yeah. That's why I call it Gone

34:55

With Wind. Right.

34:57

Because I do love that Gone With Wind.

35:01

But they kiss on there and he

35:03

turns around, bends the road. My mother's

35:05

favorite film is Mr. Bean's Holiday. Is

35:07

it actually? Yeah. Are

35:09

you joking? No. That was shite. Being

35:12

in a movie is one of my favorite films.

35:14

No. Mr. Bean's Holiday is so much better. No,

35:16

when they go to France. Yes. Yeah, it's crap.

35:20

How dare you? No, I'm sorry. It's such

35:22

a happy film. No, Bean the movie's got.

35:25

Yeah, yeah, no, it's good. Whoa, whoa, whoa,

35:27

whoa, whoa. Being in a movie with Whistler's

35:29

mother. Yes. Fantastic.

35:31

But there's too much talking in it for

35:33

Mr. Bean. Mr. Bean shouldn't talk. No, he

35:35

doesn't talk much in it. He's got like

35:37

pages of dialogue. He says the other thing.

35:40

Makes the magma cast look like a postage

35:42

stamp. Where he draws the face on Whistler's

35:44

mother. Yes, I know the film. Ah! Yeah.

35:47

Mr. Bean's Holiday is better. No, being in a movie is

35:49

better. Yesterday, all

35:53

my troubles. One from Mary now. Hello, William Jordan

35:55

and producer Ben. It's not here. I'm in my

35:57

70s and I've just binged all your episodes. class

36:00

myself as one of your more seasoned G

36:02

and Divas. But I need your

36:04

advice. Watch the etiquette for asking my

36:06

18-year-old granddaughter to explain sayings and words

36:08

I haven't heard before. For example, I

36:11

had to ask her recently what rimming

36:13

meant. Oh Jesus. Oh

36:16

Jesus. Right,

36:19

we had a dilemma in Belfast last

36:22

night where someone was being, their

36:25

name was Felicity Chin and

36:28

lots of her friends would call her Fel, our

36:31

friend Fel. So she was thus being

36:33

introduced as Fel Chin. And

36:37

to be fair, I'm going to own up to something

36:39

now and I don't need an explanation right here right

36:41

now. I was reading that out pretending on stage like

36:43

I could remember what that was. I have been told

36:45

what that is at some point but I couldn't exactly

36:47

remember what it was on stage. Are you

36:50

joking? That could have been a

36:52

really funny bit me explaining what Fel Chin is.

36:54

Do you know what I decided? The audience in

36:56

Belfast last night were degenerates enough that we did

36:58

not need. That really annoyed me because that could

37:00

have been funny. I'm not sure what we did.

37:02

You didn't, do you not know what Fel Chin

37:04

is? Don't tell me now. Why don't I tell

37:06

you but we don't record it and then we'll

37:08

get your reaction. Okay. Okay. So. I'm

37:20

so glad that I did not ask you that on

37:22

stage last night. That

37:27

is absolutely disgusting. Don't

37:29

kink shame. I find

37:31

that disgusting. If that does lots of things

37:33

for people, whoopi doo, I'm very happy for

37:35

you. What's the worst bit about it? Well,

37:39

everything, all of it. Yeah.

37:42

Anyway, to Fel Ching. Where

37:46

were we going with that? Oh, the

37:48

grandmother who didn't understand. Yeah. Mary. Mary,

37:50

I'm going to save both you and

37:52

your granddaughter a lot of embarrassment, urbandictionary.com.

37:54

Yeah. Mary, if you're on the end

37:57

online, if you're a silver surfer. Do

38:00

you remember that one? Horrible turn.

38:03

So patronising. Oh, I know.

38:05

I'm a silver surfer. Hell,

38:08

if you're a silver surfer, just

38:11

use Google, but please Mary,

38:13

stop asking your granddaughter. And

38:16

do not go away from this and ask what

38:18

your granddaughter felt. No, no. Don't. That's

38:22

a hard no. Yeah. Thank

38:24

you for your dilemmas. Thank you for your

38:26

questions and dilemmas. Remember, you can listen.

38:29

I feel like poor

38:31

Mary's going to listen to that. We've been a bit too rude. Sorry,

38:33

Mary. Are we too rude? We'll do a nice

38:35

question next week on Werther's Originals. Yeah. Mary,

38:40

that's offensive and I'm not hit

38:42

with him with that. I'm joking.

38:44

It's called comedy. Don't be ageist.

38:48

No, that was quite funny. Mary,

38:52

we hope you've enjoyed this. I'm

38:54

joking. Remember,

38:57

you can listen and watch every Tuesday and Friday. We'll see

38:59

you on Friday. We'll see you on Friday. We love

39:02

you. Goodbye. Goodbye.