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loss. Hello

1:08

and welcome to Hell By Sex and

1:10

My Boss Todairies. The

1:13

podcast where we help you navigate the challenges of

1:15

modern life. Answering your 21st

1:17

century questions and finding solutions

1:19

to those everyday dilemmas. And as we're

1:22

on tour every yet now and then

1:24

we're releasing a little behind the scenes

1:26

episode every day. We're currently on the

1:28

banter bus. Priscilla Queen of the Desert.

1:31

And we are heading into Bristol. Who

1:33

are yes my hometown although not everyone

1:35

towns. We had another fabulous night in

1:38

Birmingham last night. My throat's going. My

1:40

voice is really going. Bless

1:42

you. Yes I'll need to make

1:44

sure my eyes are popping again tonight. Yes

1:47

Jordan is experimenting with a little

1:50

bit of eyeliner. No

1:52

William said to me yesterday in the

1:54

change room he's like put a bit of eyeliner

1:56

on. I did not say put eyeliner on. Put a

1:58

bit of eyeliner on. Oh, should I do

2:01

some eyeliner? Do you think they'll like that?

2:03

No, basically. I don't

2:05

want to winch, because I'm... You're

2:08

not known for winching. No, I don't want to

2:10

winch, because I genuinely love what I do, and

2:12

I love my job, and I love my life.

2:14

And if you'd have said to me... Can

2:17

I say this? On the other episode, if you

2:19

said to me you'd be on Capitol Breakfast, the UK

2:21

National Breakfast Show, which is always what to do, and

2:24

touring big arenas with

2:26

your podcast a few years ago, I'd never have believed you.

2:29

But I am knackered. I

2:32

am shattered. So, my

2:35

eyes look a bit... dead. So

2:38

I put a bit of eyeliner on for last night's show. And

2:41

as soon as we walked on stage, William went,

2:43

Jordan's wearing eyeliner. Well, I mean,

2:45

I thought they'd probably notice. It's

2:47

like being on stage with Jared Leto, although

2:50

it was less 30 seconds to Mars, and more

2:52

in the case of Helen, 60

2:55

minutes in Uranus. Oh, yes. Yes,

2:58

very good. But, yeah,

3:00

we've just... We just entered

3:02

Bristol, who are. And

3:04

we had a great night in Birmingham. Yeah.

3:06

We did. And we just had a great

3:08

little pit stop at

3:10

everybody's favourite service station, Gloucester.

3:13

I'd never been before. Isn't it lovely? Now,

3:15

remember, a couple of years ago on the

3:18

podcast, I said, and I stand by this,

3:20

and you'll probably want yours there as well.

3:22

That's where I'm having lashes scattered. I just...

3:25

It's like that scene when they all walk

3:27

into the chocolate factory on

3:29

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Right, yes.

3:31

Come with me, and

3:34

you'll be in

3:36

a world of pure imagination.

3:39

It was literally like... It's well

3:41

nice. It's lovely. So posh. Lots

3:43

of rugby types there, isn't there? These

3:45

neck and a ones. I've noticed. I

3:48

thought, yeah... I

3:50

thought, like, Wigan, in Wigan, they're all big

3:52

lads. Like, they all look like... There's something

3:54

in Walter in Wigan. Like, they

3:56

play rugby. But I think it's the same

3:58

here. Cholera. We

4:01

went, we stopped at Tea Bay a week

4:03

ago, I just felt like a year ago, but

4:06

it was when we were going up to Glasgow.

4:08

Nice, perfectly nice, love

4:10

Tea Bay, Gloucester is better,

4:13

better lose. Better lose. Tea Bay,

4:16

very underwhelming lavatory. I would say that Gloucester

4:19

Service is probably the best service I've ever

4:21

been to. Yep. It's beautiful. So

4:23

nice, it's like sort of describe it, paint a picture,

4:25

be our eyes, Jordan. It was in

4:28

like a, under a hill

4:30

and you go in a hillock. A

4:33

hillock. And it was just like

4:35

a big farm shop and instead of like

4:37

a WH Swift or

4:41

like your usual Starbucks and stuff. KFC.

4:44

Yeah, Aaron Burger King, which don't get me wrong, it's what you eat sometimes.

4:47

It was like proper posh. Was nice.

4:50

And expensive, but they were doing salads

4:52

and flatbreads. I've got some sausage

4:54

rolls here, does anyone want some sausage rolls? No,

4:57

I've had a cookie dough brownie. Some

5:00

Dolce Verde. Some what? Dolce

5:03

Verde. Cucumber, apples, spinach,

5:05

kale and lemon. And

5:07

they say you've changed. How

5:10

dare they. Yeah. It's

5:13

marvellous. Birmingham, can we talk

5:15

about the Symphony Hall? What a lovely venue. Beautiful,

5:17

isn't it? I mean, I loved all of, I

5:19

mean, I love the Palladium, don't get me wrong.

5:23

I love Manchester Apollo because it was the biggest

5:25

venue, but very sticky floors. None of

5:27

that at Birmingham Symphony Hall. Quality. It's quite a

5:29

posh venue, isn't it? It's

5:31

very posh, yeah. What sort of acts do they have there,

5:34

like Mozart and that? I don't think Mozart tours at the

5:36

moment. I know. Yeah,

5:39

but they had a picture of Mozart up there, so

5:41

I think it's like a lot of classical. Yeah, but

5:43

I don't think Mozart had ever performed there. I think

5:45

it's like classical acts and Beverly Knight and stuff. Right,

5:48

yeah. And us. And

5:50

us. Yeah, which is lovely. My

5:54

Favourite moment from yesterday is, as we always do when we

5:56

can, we went out into a stage dorm. Or

6:00

or or the equivalent area to to me

6:02

those that want to say hello. Lovelies met

6:04

lots of lovely people and I know I

6:06

sort of noses It was going on for

6:08

little bit longer than it normally words and

6:10

it was during one of our one of

6:12

the pages I was doing some of the

6:14

yeah that the people at all what are

6:17

you doing in Birmingham. Isotopes

6:19

them completely confused rubble. I'm.

6:22

Left on the show and it turns out

6:24

they would take that fans from the arena

6:27

down the road that Will had walked past

6:29

seen us and just decides to get on

6:31

the axe yet? So and it was that

6:33

point I'd draw the line. Yeah no

6:35

I will be here forever. Ah so if

6:38

this people I would pop up quickly as

6:40

we have to leave. And get. On

6:43

the rumble with proper quick example:

6:45

guess he pins and. And

6:47

yes, a. Lot I

6:49

was never ending. And

6:52

it doesn't matter into it. We were sending like that,

6:54

some in some way of. Take. That Vip

6:56

line yard on them and I was i

6:58

ah you can see take that the A

7:00

T V I pay. Very.

7:03

Anonymous person. And

7:06

she was like ah as gotta love

7:08

Took a picture gallery above the old

7:10

the Martha as I say think you

7:13

are Howard Cs. Put

7:15

us in. a student was a lot

7:17

of a howard about it was never

7:19

end and wow look at the scaffolding

7:22

on that tesco of that sounds cancer

7:24

risk that that's the roof. Not

7:27

Moscow's design feature that Tesco looks

7:29

like go as stadium guess. Oh

7:31

and were about bush rounder? Yeah.

7:33

We're about to go past the showcase and

7:36

we would. This is the showcase that we

7:38

will sit with Stream didn't say what stadiums

7:40

out there that seems that we asked and

7:42

gate I was up. Bristol Rovers resources. Oh

7:45

I'm whispers the Rover's play somewhere else and

7:47

a nano they'll pick behind the curtain. I'm.

7:50

The. In the. South. As a pet

7:52

rat William. Mentions. Where we are in and. Gives.

7:55

Up as a bigger a Local activists in

7:57

of. People. known for being a bit

7:59

rough know my way in the world, not our only

8:01

country, there was an area within a city or a place

8:03

which I know is not fair but it gets

8:05

a laugh, it's a cheap one but it gets a laugh. And

8:09

William, William's

8:11

been racking his brains for a rough

8:13

part of Bristol for the past twenty

8:15

because everywhere in Bristol is lovely. Looks

8:20

it. Well maybe. Oh,

8:24

oh Jordan North. Oh there you are!

8:26

There's me on a bus. Capitol

8:28

Jordan North has entered the chat. That's

8:31

mad innit. I stand by the fact you are the

8:33

world's worst person on messaging so they shouldn't have gone

8:35

with his enter the chat. He's entered the chat, he's

8:37

not read any of the messages but

8:40

he's in the chat. How does it feel

8:42

that I'm on buses in your home city?

8:44

I'm very proud of you. Oh bless you, you

8:46

said that free gritted teeth. Do

8:49

you want to give us a

8:51

little tour guide now as we're coming into? I don't

8:53

really know which area of Bristol this is. What's that

8:55

big church there? That is the

8:57

church of St Mary the Virgin. Is

9:00

that actually? Nope. But

9:02

over there is Cabot Circus or

9:05

as we call it, Carboot Circus. Where's the

9:07

big suspender bridge? The big

9:10

suspender bridge. Yeah where's that? The suspension

9:12

bridge is in Clifton

9:14

over in that direction. Which is nice. What

9:18

else did we do? We have been

9:20

brave today on this tour bus because we've

9:22

taken away the plastic sheeting from underneath your

9:24

chair. The colonic

9:26

irrigation episode which was yesterday's tour

9:29

diary is brilliant. Helen is amazing.

9:31

I haven't listened back to it

9:33

yet. It's very good. It's

9:36

when she's describing putting a

9:38

casser audition soak. I think

9:41

it's a particularly nice moment. We

9:44

had a couple of leakages yesterday. Let's

9:48

not go into it too much. Let's absolutely not want to

9:50

go into it. I feel like, good

9:52

God. But yes look this is the last

9:55

night of the main bit of the tour. We've got Belfast

9:57

and Dublin in a couple of weeks. a

10:00

big homo coming this evening, which

10:02

is nice. I'm very excited

10:04

to be in Bristol. And I've never even been in

10:06

the Bristol weekend, even in its previous life, so I

10:08

vaguely know where it is. You've never been. Say

10:11

that again. You've never been? No. What

10:14

sort of shows did he do there? Lots of concerts,

10:16

really. It's a bit like the Symphony Hall. It's that

10:18

sort of vibe. Five. I went to

10:20

the Hippodrome a lot. I went to the Old

10:22

Vic. I've been to the

10:25

other theatre, the Redgrave. But

10:28

I'm excited for that. There's lots of vegans

10:30

in Bristol. Yes. Yeah, there's a lot

10:32

of vegan cafes there. Let's put it this way. If

10:34

London didn't exist, I think Ben would live in

10:36

Bristol. Ah, okay. We're

10:39

coming into Cottom now, and that's very,

10:41

very Ben. Is it? Yes.

10:45

Yeah, look, I mean, it's all Ben.

10:47

Cotton, there's a cotton in Preston as

10:49

well. Is there? Is it

10:51

nice? Yeah, is that so? It's all right.

10:53

Okay, yeah, Cottom's all right here. Someone lives

10:56

there, I think. Cottom borders Clifton. Clifton is

10:58

obviously quite nice. And

11:01

then Cottom is what borders that. After the

11:03

show yesterday, we went up

11:05

to the bar at the hotel, but it was

11:07

too busy, because the boxing was on. Yes, there

11:09

was nowhere to sit. So we all cramped into

11:12

German Emeritus Stew's room. Yes. Had

11:14

a beer. And we, Stew and I, we got

11:16

on the bed, and we were so, so gay

11:18

together. We watched the Wicker trailer, which

11:21

was nice, it was a big gay moment. Can I

11:23

just say as well, when you've, all day

11:25

I was craving a pint yesterday. Because

11:27

I didn't have a drink yesterday. I didn't have a beer.

11:30

So I'll have a nice cold pint after the show. Nice

11:34

cold pint. And then the bar was too busy.

11:37

So we get up to Stew's room, and they had a

11:39

nice warm bottle of

11:41

IPA. Is

11:44

IPA meant to be kind of... I'm not

11:46

a big fan of IPA. Right. Yeah, it's

11:49

a very bad drink. Yeah. So

11:51

I'm gonna, do you know what? It's got some lifestyle.

11:53

What time, if we can check it? I

11:56

might go for a run and then a bit. Well,

11:58

it's the Bristol Half Marathon. You could tag on that. the back of

12:00

that. Is it quite hilly Bristol?

12:02

Well Clifton, which is where I'm from, means

12:05

down on the cliff. Oh

12:07

okay. To give you a rough idea of how hilly it is. Well if

12:09

I can go down it. And how about the cliff?

12:13

We're very tired. So we shall bring

12:15

this episode to an end but Bristol

12:18

we can't wait to see you this evening and thank

12:21

you to everyone who has come to see us whether

12:23

it's in Bristol, Birmingham, Manchester or any of the other

12:25

wonderful cities or if you came into

12:27

the cinema. We are back touring as we say in

12:30

Belfast and Dublin next month

12:33

and we will have an episode out on

12:35

Tuesday where we relive some of our favourite

12:37

tour moments and dilemmas.

12:39

Yes it's been a wonderful week.

12:42

Wonderful. There's more graffiti

12:44

in Bristol than I remember I'll be

12:46

honest. No that's not graffiti it's street

12:49

art. Street art. It's been a wonderful

12:51

tour so thank you to everyone who's

12:53

come. He's probably a Banksy. Everybody does

12:55

listen. He's from Bristol isn't he? I

12:57

know, yes. Okay. Don't tell

13:00

anyone that I'm actually Banksy. Oh,

13:03

are you Banksy? I'm Banksy. Okay. That

13:07

would surprise me if you were. Anyway,

13:10

who are, we're in Bristol. Cheers

13:12

Drive. We'll see you soon.

13:15

Goodbye. Have

13:18

you

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