He is angry. He is German. He has foam weaponry. And he is completely fed up with American live-action role-players (Larpers) not taking this thing seriously. I often display the same level of frustration whenever Jesse describes how adorab

Shiny Things

Dec 2nd, 2009

And now, a word form our sponsor... Download Shiny Things -HBD

Things I Have Not Done

Nov 30th, 2009

I’ve often been accused of selfishness, egotism, hypocrisy, stealing change, encouraging prostitution, unreliability, inappropriate displays of wit, sleeplessness, liking hockey, yelling at imprudent times and targets, shoplifting fantasy novel

Jesus deaded ALL THEM INDIANS

Nov 26th, 2009

Due to the holiday I will be dedicating most of my time to binge-eating, holiday shopping and napping (in no particular order and often simultaneously). So, following the lead of Mr. Ackles, I won't be posting anything of my own creation. Af

Worse Than Death - Pt. 3

Nov 25th, 2009

It’s been a long road for Joel Ropesman. A long, excruciating, improbable road. Joel’s is a journey beset by hardship. By confusion. By disfigurement. And by huge swarms of monstrous insects. Join us for the conclusion of Joel’s exciting journe

"More Ramblings from McCrae"

Nov 24th, 2009

This is an old favorite of mine. From the Coldwater Daily Reporter in Michigan, an op-ed piece I came across while working for Balthazar last year. -JRA Coldwater, Mich. To the Editor: Some of Bush’s oil friends want to rent the Grand

Garg Prek Nachschtuck, Part Krog

Nov 21st, 2009

Producer’s Corner: A Guide To Proper HBD Listening Techniques

Nov 20th, 2009

Hello, listener. Welcome (back?) to Hear Be Dragons. My name’s Zack. If this were a legitimate podcast with even a smidgen of merit or credibility, my position would be what is commonly referred to as “producer”, but enough with the high-level

Lazy, Drunk and Uncooperative Is No Way to Go Through Life, Sons

Nov 20th, 2009

Greetings there, shitbirds –This here blog entry may not be cohesive with respect to thepreceding posts. You see, I didn’t even get through Jesse’s demonstration, er, experimentation, ummm, provocation from the other day. We’re tryin

Adios, Ethnictown

Nov 20th, 2009

I moved to Logan Square from Humboldt Park this weekend. One advantage to the timing of this was that it was Halloween, and as anyone in Chicago knows, holidays lastan average of about a week here. Think St Patrick’s, MLK or Casimir Pulask

Crossing the Stix: Intellectual Adventures in the Porcelain Tower

Nov 20th, 2009

While I was writing this, my demented grandmother, who lives in Ann Arbor, took a bus here to Chicago. My mom called me around midnight to tell me that someone called her from the bus station to tell her that they were in possession of a reall

Producer’s Corner: Finding Poise By Executing Consistently

Nov 20th, 2009

Good morrow, dear listener and reader. As a new dawn approaches at Here Be Dragons, one that will hopefully bear tastier fruit than our previous incarnations, I would like to take a moment to address a few concerns you may have regarding ou

H to the B and also to the D: A Survey of Sorry Pretenders

Nov 20th, 2009

H. B. D. Three consonants of such variety of articulation as to be nearly unrecognizable as family, like distant cousins dissimilar in every aspect but their handedness or preference for bolo ties. The first with its airy, ephemeral expressio

There's No "I" In "Asshole"

Nov 20th, 2009

If there has ever been a position in all of professional sports where egocentric, outlandish and sometimes insubordinate behavior has become not only emblematic but the determining factor of your popularity it is that of the NFL wide receiver.

Worse Than Death - Pt. 2

Nov 18th, 2009

Things just aren’t getting any better for Joel Ropesman. If you thought eyeball-gouging dairy cows were bad, imagine what a bunch of ducks and geese can do. Episode 2 in the saga of the Man from Anglo. Download Worse Than...

It Takes a Special Party to Raise a Podcast

Nov 16th, 2009

Dear listener,We’ve been away for awhile. We’ve neglected you. Our usual incompetence isn’t solely to blame this time, however. You see, we were busy throwing an uncle party, and you know how uncle parties go. You tell a couple friends to

My Life

Nov 13th, 2009

(No, this has nothing to do with BillClinton’s autobiography, though it has turned out to be nearly as long. Oh, andthose actors Zack mentioned in his last post? Don’t know a one.) WheneverJesse calls, we exchange pleasantries and he a

A Terrible, Terrible Man

Nov 12th, 2009

Have you ever played the sympathy card to get a woman into bed? Does it still weigh on your conscience? Well, you’re about to feel way better about yourself. Download A Terrible, Terrible Man -HBD

Double-tapered

Nov 11th, 2009

Fret not, little ones. A brand new Producer's Corner is on its way. But first, there are more pressing issues to address, like game 6 of the World Series. In the meantime, enjoy Mr. Brett's pre-game banter.-Zack

Producer’s Corner: I Know Talent When I See It

Nov 11th, 2009

Brothers Brian and Joe Hackett (Steven Weber and 'Tim Daly' ) and friend Helen (Crystal Bernard) attempt to run a Cape Cod-based airline while surrounded by their various wacky friends and employees.This is the IMDB synopsis for one of the m

Worse Than Death - Pt. 1

Nov 11th, 2009

Here Be Dragons and The Learning Channel have collaborated to produce a reality show unrivaled in its exploitation of a pathetic subject. Meet Joel Ropesman, a man so stung by misfortune and cross-eyed genetics, listeners will be tempted to tur

Taurine, Cops and Thespianists

Nov 9th, 2009

Someone who works in a Chicago high school told me that the kids collect the tabs from Monster Energy drinks (which are sold in a vending machine in the school) and make necklaces out of them. They compete to see who can collect the most. Th

Taste Via Tucci

Nov 6th, 2009

Zack’s post was prettyaccurate…disregardless of everything he wrote, but most especial-like when he gotto the part of me dismissing pop cultural nonsense because it’s too new. Truth be told, I love many things quite deeply. You see, I just

Producer's Corner: Half-assery

Nov 5th, 2009

Do you know of this website called facebook? It’s supposedly the cat’s pajamas and is all the rave with the kids. What it’s mainly used for, aside from keeping you linked to people you met at that party last week or high school classmates you