0:00

Here. Comes the guillotine contains offensive

0:02

language mature content. An adult Themes

0:04

is not suitable for a younger

0:06

audience. This

0:09

is a global player Original

0:11

Podcast. Hello!

0:14

And welcome to here comes the

0:16

Guillotine. I'm Frankie Boyle and I'm

0:18

a bit on T. Susan Mccabe,

0:20

Christopher Macarthur Point. Place.

0:24

Their Usa and then. We. Need

0:26

to stop have most usual ensure they still haven't

0:28

the that We call it the French method

0:30

Linney evening and be sandwich. The.

0:33

French method of having one

0:35

large large meal a lunch

0:37

which other in think French

0:39

people the area. Of

0:42

a can acquire so into

0:44

breakfast a small better, maybe

0:46

even cold. And the middle of

0:48

it they. Don't. To see. Any

0:51

for can have a massive

0:53

extended lunch and French schools.

0:55

They. Have seven course meal. Last

0:59

French school and then it was

1:01

Redskins. I was once and whole

1:03

the end south. West. Floods

1:06

and day I will interesting for

1:08

my lunch and that was lake

1:10

a horse sates of guys that

1:12

just came off a boat and

1:14

sail doesn't have no a couple

1:16

bottles of beer, coupler courses over

1:18

the relaxed, some some wayne and

1:20

then I'm about to walk. Sleep.

1:23

Things that can know hop in

1:25

Britain as given those main baby

1:27

at lunchtime that a bell dings

1:29

will photo in people will be

1:32

more built with Hamas. Much of

1:34

that was your campaign mode of

1:36

each make society more French A

1:38

elders need to start bevy. Oh

1:42

says was voted for Briggs that

1:44

for put a cork in nature

1:46

adults are know either way they

1:48

afraid she a British Ah yeah

1:50

Bill that could you imagine. The

1:53

ideal. Weight. It will still

1:55

get big and croissants in this country is

1:57

still blue people's heads off to for. The

2:00

Channel Tunnel played a role in Briggs.

2:03

The tunnel yeah so that there was no

2:05

is a mess hall and to britain. That

2:08

has been shafted by the

2:10

ear. And. Subconsciously.

2:13

And. Became a floyd in. Thing.

2:16

That we fear the tunnel be felt

2:18

by a makes us this. Is

2:22

that we mates? Or. Longed for the

2:24

six only alone for us to play

2:26

a lot of to be air pump

2:28

by. That's why the let's stop the

2:30

boats. Get these guys to the time.

2:36

I don't think as a concerted

2:39

effort to satisfy thing used to

2:41

get one like lead in a

2:43

Bbc to the tuber sue of

2:45

people just. Chance.

2:47

Shit said. I didn't

2:49

I didn't know a dude.

2:52

Foot possibly fitness as at once who

2:54

issues my out is a little don't

2:57

think the other assessed at the hell.

2:59

Am I don't think it was the tunnel afghan B

3:01

C D in the so he hid my Cd. Go

3:04

for the hey breaks or hum of Saves

3:06

Innovate. A. Think X the

3:08

Musky the key Me: that's whatever you

3:10

call mates who are come from Scotland

3:13

to be good a name sex and

3:15

whenever we come off with one educate

3:17

a sweet doesn't my were recorded with

3:19

when I do caddy tweets and then

3:22

nigel caddies we as Ainsley leads us

3:24

into most think we say smite my

3:26

oven when you don't and it was

3:28

sued I do Sadie Tree and ever

3:31

since thousand Till It's the same as

3:33

the Seem How sees as the Seem

3:35

shops as the same bars. Those

3:37

so many late and deceit wouldn't

3:39

pups were dismissed. Equally independent pops

3:41

up here so most basis of

3:44

the since the as he they

3:46

still seem as it a sin

3:48

all starts til at the same

3:50

and it's been so her mode

3:52

to nice probably since late. The.

3:54

Nineteen seventies, percent lead zoom the eighties

3:57

and nineties. That. Areas

3:59

have more. They think. That.

4:01

The the I'm no longer known for with the

4:03

were. Known for to seventy that just wants

4:05

to see Mrs Seem shops seem sultan centers

4:08

as this endless nothing really. Quite a

4:10

spent about any angle he says

4:12

he saw as Ulysses Scotland's. As.

4:15

He sees this. Know say

4:17

east of the same stop Chili's innocently

4:19

that's have to throw Fox is definitely

4:21

a little salt into some ways lesson

4:24

I'm not Peyton I gave add subtract

4:26

the emphasis way it is as think

4:28

a lot of this to do the

4:30

them and the site that I always

4:32

feel of thought this is gonna get

4:34

me states I feel is s. And.

4:37

Cliche. I tend to see. Something

4:40

that's never really to leagues seats because

4:42

I think it's ultimately but as he

4:44

cited cities because they don't see that

4:46

the since with every other part of

4:48

the U T. Has the don't identity

4:50

and has the doing things and little

4:53

and can fly can national anthem. And.

4:55

Essentially the English National. Anthems: Who

4:58

Sees The Tank. Which. Isn't

5:00

really about our country? or? You.

5:02

Can reverse that and little to

5:04

know that we and see as

5:06

exactly up in a country is

5:08

that so that countries all about

5:10

thus pubmed class system that of

5:13

kinda obsessed with with is angry

5:15

I'm in Laytonsville Me: Juri Bring

5:17

back a. George's. Flag

5:19

in June a sex network acres

5:21

before so he jacks as the

5:23

but I'd go further and say

5:25

the hadn't really been. Score is

5:27

national identity this give me space

5:29

by lazy that hasn't been that

5:31

before brim either because like they

5:33

the of Scotland that a unified.

5:36

Home. With a single a

5:38

been to the come From Rain

5:40

debate the Victoria need us that

5:42

pilot comes from the novels or

5:44

Walter Scott to walk score star

5:46

Three Noughties north was a bit

5:48

am just debates fucking totes night

5:50

and stuff and Queen Victoria love

5:53

Zola. It. Coincides with

5:55

them Sydney to win money

5:57

as the treasury T By.

6:00

Mortal. Because. Trains Come

6:02

on. This entails those things come along the

6:04

same time. I net.

6:06

They. Have parties for Victoria and a the

6:09

blown fuck course what Scotland then and

6:11

it's this through on a killer it's

6:13

the him the regimental evening dress in

6:15

of like a when regimen and their

6:17

that's for that lit comes from me

6:19

see every scores with and novices the

6:21

thing that the name of african have

6:23

to suddenly gonna say we dress in

6:25

some less pick that one that is

6:27

that is really like any kill any

6:29

Jacobite with a war no no no.

6:31

There's no source of things like if I

6:34

think. About my get on my command

6:36

wouldn't have protect lead them to

6:38

cite the school he should just

6:40

be embraced. but that's also a

6:42

postwar sense and the kinda moody

6:44

of World war Two city. But

6:46

weird is no as saints. When.

6:49

I talk to young people the seems

6:51

he have a view. Self.

6:53

Confidence up a been score is to

6:55

not mean anything misuse the few that

6:57

identity more than like what others grew

6:59

up. Even. Ship sinks in the

7:02

news lately never use. The school is tales

7:04

of little use. You

7:06

know the never see always Thirty two

7:09

says we'll see though see is to

7:11

have of supplies straight. Best new Duke

7:13

of Edinburgh possible to survey but they

7:15

should have been using his tales in

7:18

L. L shouldn't

7:20

have various realms of pace, Know

7:22

man, this. Is the

7:24

of shit of assassinations

7:27

allegedly? And another

7:29

dimension he would have been to

7:31

the queen. Something like cacciari or

7:33

something of we could understand his

7:35

to form and the hell realm.

7:37

Remember when Lake. The. Find

7:39

him lead trash Dislike. Or

7:43

by for upside down as it was

7:45

like name a force gab as well

7:47

as pro away house you drive and

7:49

as dimension. One

7:51

hundred s a few we use.

7:53

I made this less. and

7:56

the last gives me this lesser process of

7:58

to that said the I'm

8:01

excited for a lot of those older people to die. Do

8:04

you know what I mean? Like baby boomers,

8:07

I'm excited for that age group. Did

8:09

not, specific ones, obviously. Well,

8:11

people are lovely, but as a group, that... I'm

8:14

really proud to that. They're quite an

8:16

entitled group. They're quite

8:19

an entitled group, I think, baby boomers. But

8:21

they're also the ones moaning

8:23

about future generations going, oh,

8:26

they say that they're riddled with anxiety. They're

8:28

like, no wonder I haven't used parents. You're

8:31

a fucking sociopath. As the rest

8:33

thing, I sometimes think, being

8:36

oppressed sometimes gives

8:38

you more empathy. So if you're that younger

8:40

generation, you go, oh, I

8:42

can see why my parents haven't come

8:45

off the back of the Second World War or our

8:47

souls. Blah, blah, blah. Whereas being

8:49

an oppressor kind of radicalizes you a

8:51

bit quicker, because people like a bit

8:53

of sadism, and they like someone to

8:55

blame, they like scapegoats. And

8:57

I think the root of a lot of human problems

9:00

is the fact that being

9:02

mad, actually, you

9:04

get into it a lot quicker. It's a bit

9:06

more addictive. It's a

9:09

bit more addictive. Aye?

9:12

You could have grouped there if you were Hitler now.

9:15

He would be like, no, he'd be like, eh, you

9:17

know there's something there. Do you know what? Yeah, that's

9:19

fair enough. Like, I was, I

9:21

was like, you know. And

9:23

the North. Do you remember? There

9:26

was a show, which is done there, the

9:29

Subject of Evil Psychopaths. Richard

9:31

Branson did a show, remember

9:33

the Apprentice was the biggest show in the world

9:36

when Trump started it, right? So

9:38

they did a kind of knock-off version

9:40

called Rebel Billionaire. And I'm like,

9:42

this guy has something, it's Richard Branson, he's a

9:44

rebel billionaire, right? And he's like taking

9:47

on his Apprentice candidates like,

9:50

That's how you shoot in the nice kind of stuff,

9:52

it didn't make any sense. But

9:54

it's about where he goes to the

9:56

Grand Canyon or something, the massive, massive

9:59

canyon. and he's got like

10:01

a thing that looks a bit like a

10:03

portal, just a steel cube on a bungee

10:05

cord, right? and he fires

10:07

it off the edge of the canyon and uh

10:12

knocks a bit a bit and then he

10:14

goes which one of you is

10:16

gonna get in that and you know

10:18

fire off the edge of the canyon, right?

10:20

and then all of that like it's like you know if you

10:23

want to be my apprentice you've got a blah blah blah and

10:26

this one of them goes me I'll do

10:28

it and he goes if you'd have

10:30

got in that thing you would have died what's

10:36

the point? what is the point? what is the

10:38

point? do you ever watch The Apprentice? I

10:41

used to watch the Elantru, do I know you bit? so

10:45

I've been watching this series too, watch

10:47

it, look at this now,

10:49

it's mental like

10:52

it's actually mental how bad

10:54

some of them are and

10:56

you're like if this is what they've chosen

10:58

what did they knock back that's what I

11:01

want to see but that's what they're looking

11:03

for so when they're doing the interview they're

11:05

like that's fucking empty which we get him

11:07

trying to design a breakfast cereal yeah they're

11:10

fucking but also I kind of watch

11:12

it from behind a cushion so

11:14

my wife like she really likes it she

11:16

just kills herself and now she's

11:18

just started laughing at me watching it because I

11:20

start off going oh for

11:23

fuck's sake and then I go through that

11:25

Jesus fucking thrice stage and then I came

11:27

out the end of that we're just like

11:29

pushing over my face going I can't I

11:31

can't watch these people I can't

11:33

the cringe is too much it's too much

11:36

but it's mostly because we don't really have

11:38

management so it's about laughing

11:40

at clueless management fannies so

11:43

all these people have to work in the NHS

11:45

which is funny it doesn't know what they're doing

11:47

and they're like there's one of them I can

11:49

watch it with his wheel like oh my god

11:51

why would you be like this is awful why

11:54

would you choose this life yeah yeah

11:57

that's good him the Trump one was mental

11:59

as well though when he

12:01

was doing it but that's what put

12:03

him into the public consciousness now he's going to be

12:06

an in-jail president. Hey

12:09

there. Who would you like to

12:12

see as president? Apparently Biden's

12:15

dead body. Yeah. He would do

12:17

less damage. Bernieed. Not Sanders.

12:19

We could. Well I have a theory

12:21

that Biden could win by appealing

12:24

to both the... he could get votes from both the

12:26

living and the dead. So all these

12:29

people like civil war soldiers and railroad

12:32

tycoons and that from America's past would turn

12:34

it and vote for him like the ghosts

12:37

that help Aragon. The

12:39

siege at Gondar. But

12:43

yeah I'm intrigued. That has

12:45

spectral form running again. It's

12:47

exciting isn't it? He done a

12:50

wee walk out of playing recently. Maybe

12:52

not recently but actually never a day of

12:54

him coming out of playing and he was

12:56

walking like C-3PO. His body's just fucking...

12:59

Constantly. Mechanically. I

13:02

mean he's fried. Yeah. What was

13:04

that thing he was saying about the earth angel?

13:07

He was... There it is, isn't it? He was

13:10

like oh earth angel. It seemed like

13:12

he was... As soon as I saw

13:14

him figure this. He must be seeing

13:16

angels and all that stuff.

13:18

Like his mother's voice. Like

13:20

all kinds of things. Do you think that happens?

13:24

When you're... When you're way out... We're

13:26

doing that. He's just coming, get you?

13:30

Probably not the type of angels you'd want. Probably

13:32

the biblically accurate angels. We've got a thousand eyes

13:34

and twenty wings and a

13:36

circle and all that type of stuff rather

13:39

than cupids and gabroos and... I don't trust

13:41

whatever God's running up

13:43

there. Partly because Abraham

13:46

and Isaac, I still refer to often.

13:50

God says to Abraham, sacrifice

13:53

your son Isaac and

13:55

then when Abraham goes to actually sacrifice his

13:59

son, God goes nowhere. But

14:01

wouldn't the test be that you wouldn't

14:03

do it? Yeah. Like if you weren't

14:05

completely mad you wouldn't do it. But

14:08

the right thing to do is to

14:10

be prepared to kill your own son. God is a

14:12

fascist. What god is that? He wants your

14:14

unbending actions. I think this is

14:16

a son. I think this is just a humiliation. This

14:19

is fuck all! Yeah you think this

14:21

big test would be well. I

14:26

asked you to kill your son

14:28

and you knew not to do

14:31

it. Because

14:37

you're a good person. Well in any fairy story

14:39

in any fable that's what it would be. Yeah.

14:42

But god's like Richard Branson. You're

14:45

fired. You're the apron and

14:47

you're fucking fired. You've

14:56

got to always be slightly

14:58

cautious of anyone with an island. That's just

15:00

a good rule of thumb. You're like well

15:02

you've got an island okay. You

15:05

know? Yeah. I

15:07

mean I think we've learned recently that men with

15:09

islands as male was a good thing. I

15:12

think they should be. You

15:14

could see that. I think there's always such

15:16

a mash up TV show. Tony Robinson's

15:18

time team with a

15:20

scuba diving element where

15:23

they investigate around Epstein's Island.

15:26

And they're like oh I found a Pokemon

15:28

sticker. I found a female.

15:31

Like they just haul in a net every week. See

15:34

how it works. Yeah.

15:37

Oh. I just need to escape from a sex shop and

15:41

swim to land on Epstein's Island. No.

15:43

I mean they're trying to eat planet

15:45

in the air fryer. That

15:48

island there was sharks round it as well. Come

15:52

addicted shark. There's

15:56

got to taste for it. People think they like blood

15:58

but they love cum. By

16:15

Mango, How much work? Unless they

16:17

take services fire them fill our

16:19

added on. The. Clock hope

16:21

to newton flakes. I

16:23

forbid push the simulations. Why

16:26

to see? why? to to keep? Almost

16:28

certainly. Didn't. Go. Well.

16:30

Skyn, nobody else is the must have somebody else.

16:33

Anybody else didn't know flight than

16:35

unless we're corpse their bags chat

16:37

is it says seven a some

16:39

this is a seventy something so

16:41

still dust. President. Who

16:44

for the new he did? I just too old

16:46

white men but when I. Mean

16:48

that Athena Aesthetes thing, isn't

16:51

it? And he. but it's

16:53

also the Genesee thing these little

16:55

for the food left for from

16:57

a rehab. the isn't cleats just

17:00

but oh soo. Genocide.

17:02

Come on man. Was.

17:05

Crazy worsened by those ovum from Lake

17:07

the name is name is illegal acts

17:09

exactly same as his jet black sweaty

17:11

saddles. Really at it as eight. And.

17:13

He'll a he's been of it as

17:16

a police spokesman like Oil Sunday A

17:18

A screws winless years him when he's

17:20

get hail Exude policy. Am.

17:23

And. It's is both and your light

17:26

one a heavyweight for been. Bowled.

17:28

With Black Cat Heaven. Sakes,

17:31

Hey Elaine, we wait here whereas

17:33

total Trump's here a fifth of

17:35

any less. the world would start

17:37

with her Nazis, but nobody's talking

17:39

about. Bidens. His. Northeast

17:41

on a minute to member been

17:44

Rudy Giuliani sudden that place for

17:46

instance from and their the dice

17:48

of me says that this isn't

17:50

a nice face while moment for

17:52

seventy. Say similar in the three

17:54

of us in the Fifth Element know

17:56

Gary Oldman. This this Eleanor

17:58

and he starts. Than for

18:00

has. A pet. and

18:02

it likely that maybe it was bullets

18:05

in a be wasn't help. They'd met

18:07

these bloods black pp recently. Three as

18:09

black was the time toilets. Or.

18:12

Maybe Biden has black blood in the

18:14

never been young but it just to

18:16

the oldies would see beat Mirror and

18:19

the handle L before a good speech

18:21

knows tools. To. Have his

18:23

head tenderized his rookie season. Mean.

18:26

Hussein's for new one up. From. Failing

18:30

to take out a. Plan

18:33

for I. Have.

18:36

You summon up in enthusiasm is

18:38

pretty tight campaign. You.

18:40

Know. And all this was

18:42

a few patches were know as bad

18:44

as. The. Was passing the world

18:46

to see Trump it's if a such a

18:49

law but of it's as if ss i

18:51

feel like. They. Don't

18:53

really have a by the else the is the

18:55

has run and. They. Had them.

18:58

With. The kids have insisted the shot though.

19:00

no. Debate soon the last

19:02

and when the to his by the bambee son

19:04

Vita in front of their and they just had

19:06

a stitch up with a said everybody else done

19:09

then. All of our vore has

19:11

wolf the same person that be biden

19:13

and it was just decided that he

19:15

says so badly sandals was a communist

19:17

menace. believes that like myself here to.

19:20

Post your whole family but that in the hands

19:22

of them and view. Was. Ill

19:25

a yeah. Symbolism is really

19:27

nice. And then.

19:30

To didn't brain. And their.

19:32

Own have any more women? Some. Jeremy

19:36

Corbyn if if if if if

19:38

advocacy and news about spot welding

19:40

and as is an evil guy

19:42

he's had black heart operation. Sweetie

19:44

Foods is never stop. Crying

19:47

like an amateur suction Cup as

19:50

get so caught up in this

19:52

race the home. Saying. in

19:54

british politics is the dominant style

19:57

across a person is sentimental

19:59

he doesn't who you are right

20:01

wing you're longing for some last

20:03

thing left wing you're

20:05

longing for some thing conditions that created

20:07

you that no longer exists yeah you

20:10

know and nationalists you're longing for some

20:12

Scotland that never existed or some England

20:14

that never existed or whatever just the

20:16

whole thing is just daubed

20:19

in the emotion that is the

20:21

least suited to action you

20:24

know I mean if you've got training some

20:26

boxer for a fight or something you're not

20:28

like let's get some old pictures of you

20:30

dead motherfucker. Let's push Rocky, let's push Rocky,

20:33

Rocky will put you in the mood. That's kind

20:35

of your right wing because because you want

20:37

a status quo maintained you don't want people

20:39

doing things but if you're left wing you

20:42

don't want the whole thing saturated with an

20:44

emotion that makes people in error. It's

20:46

fucked up in tight with Benny because it's like

20:48

he was like the deduction but he is also

20:50

80 and mostly dead

20:53

and not really pro ceasefire in any

20:56

way. They gotta get Hamas. Benny

21:00

had that guy who's coming to the centre

21:02

who wears shorts and hoodies and stuff and

21:05

believes in socialised health care. This guy's

21:07

good. John Fetterman he's

21:09

like the centre for Pennsylvania

21:12

but he's a fucking wing that is

21:14

where when it comes to his real,

21:16

real freaks. Who is that? He's just this guy who

21:18

wears a hoodie and he's like I'm just a

21:21

normal guy who I'm a centre. He's

21:23

shy as well. Amazing. Who

21:26

was the guy who was lying about everything? Santos

21:29

was it? Who

21:31

was the guy who was the... El Santos, the

21:34

literally very restful. I knew this

21:36

would get to this. George Santos. George Santos.

21:38

And ended up being told he couldn't

21:41

be a centre. He was just instrumental. He was

21:43

just meeting up with much stuff. Was

21:45

it the wee guy who adopted something and he was shagging him?

21:50

Oh really? To be honest I thought that was with the Alan. You

22:00

should do that with Alan Cleen.

22:02

Okay. Uh,

22:05

with Alan? No, you should do

22:07

that. Oh yeah, I can't do it. We

22:21

should say that with Alan's phone. I

22:26

don't know why actually. I think

22:28

that... I can't just say

22:30

I rewatched Ainee Hall recently

22:33

with a view to stealing its structure.

22:35

That's something I'm working on. You're

22:37

working on a 70s style rom-com? Yeah,

22:40

with Diane Keaton actually. About time. Um,

22:44

but it seemed to me that

22:47

Ainee Hall is a really different film from

22:49

what I thought it was. Because

22:52

like, it's kind of

22:54

about him being really threatened

22:56

by Ainee Hall. And

22:58

like, him being a

23:00

relentlessly merciless

23:02

arsehole. And her wanting to

23:04

go to evening classes and improve herself and smoke

23:06

less dope and things like that. And

23:09

he's very threatened by and critical of all these things

23:11

throughout the film. And actually it's

23:13

kind of a very

23:15

self-critical, whether it's accidentally self-critical

23:18

or not, I don't know, film

23:20

about this

23:22

terrible man wanting

23:24

to cling on to this woman he

23:26

doesn't deserve. Yeah. I mean, even

23:29

Manhattan, which is the one where he has

23:31

a girlfriend in the film, and

23:33

it's kind of like based on him. And

23:36

you're like, well, you know,

23:38

it's good that you know that that's bad. But

23:40

you are still doing it. Brother.

23:45

She's 18 in the film. She's 18 that she's...

23:47

But she was 17 in real life. Oh, so

23:49

witty. Yeah,

23:52

he was very self-critical, but he never says

23:54

he loves her in it. He

23:57

never says, I love you. He always says, I love

23:59

you. But he's quite... he's

24:02

never got an inability to love. Do you remember

24:04

the start of Annie Hall? He comes out and

24:06

he goes... He just does a bit

24:08

to camera and he goes, you

24:10

know, it's like the old joke about I

24:12

wouldn't want to be in a

24:14

club that would have me as a member. And

24:17

he said, which some people attribute to

24:20

Groucho Marx, but it's actually from Freud.

24:23

And he gives a citation and blah, blah, blah, it doesn't

24:25

be better. And I thought,

24:27

I wonder why has it got that structure? And later

24:29

in the film, he's

24:31

in a scene and he turns to camera

24:33

and he says, it's like the old Groucho Marx joke.

24:35

I wouldn't want any club that has me as a

24:38

member. And you're like, did

24:40

you just add that bit on at the front of

24:42

the movie because you'd used the wrong quote? And

24:45

you're such an intellectual narcissist that

24:47

you couldn't have someone go, that's actually Freud.

24:50

You've just changed the structure of the film and

24:54

stuck yourself on at the start, giving the

24:56

correct thing as a footnote. I think that's

24:58

what happened. Otherwise, why would you do it

25:00

twice? He is

25:02

a narcissist, complete narcissist.

25:05

What age is he now? He's about

25:08

a president age now. The president, I think he

25:10

probably runs. I'd

25:12

like to see Trump versus William. Wow.

25:19

I should be the president. I

25:22

would say this is a cafe. And a

25:24

lady said, you know, such

25:27

terrible food in such small portions.

25:31

And that's what's wrong with health care. I

25:36

could be great. This

25:38

is bad part of it. I like doing it. What

25:43

if we're the other person? He

25:46

must be about nearly 90. For

25:48

someone who's so anxious, he got up to a lot. You

25:51

know? I don't know how anxious he

25:53

was. Yeah. Yeah, I think he may

25:55

have been. He really, Maybe should have put

25:57

my step on it. They

26:00

were worried about editor the Seasons

26:02

We people. You know that's why

26:04

you only fucking people who lead

26:06

to be built in effect as

26:08

a nice and we'll do a

26:10

disclaimer start and this tale of

26:12

Annie Hall which was legally adopted

26:14

by the day and age signs.

26:16

It was an illegal adoption which

26:18

is so it's best. At

26:22

least. As

26:25

i play with the but the day it'll

26:28

will play in in a saints and. Up.

26:31

With don't. Even

26:34

know just a person from Elite Minnows eighty.

26:37

And. Today and to take a successful at

26:39

support a philosopher up this is just

26:41

such an easy thing. We're ready as

26:43

as seventy you that an eighteen year

26:45

old bespoke Tj nearly a he the

26:47

sky was capello the seventies. He was

26:49

quite anxious and spake in seem to

26:51

get his whole quello cease with a

26:53

tweed jacket and hope the best to

26:55

them. They say you know. Diddly

27:01

selling yourself his. Well

27:04

in. Showbiz.

27:06

Inserts: I saw something on thing

27:08

as this guy to tap p

27:10

defense from YouTube, and he's like

27:12

he's we we had to the

27:14

phone he's like. Second,

27:17

Fresh faced young guy of about thirty

27:19

and he seems and stuff. Put shorts

27:21

on and. He. Goes meets

27:23

with some beast the tix weapon

27:26

of woods and is some didn't

27:28

really high pitched voice and could

27:30

you know that rock formation along

27:32

Now I know what that's called

27:34

guys with oh okay good to

27:36

know I notice because I study

27:38

geology college. Very

27:41

sad to hear them say yes he somehow

27:43

like the and while. It. Was bleak.

27:47

I haven't Greece. Simply.

27:49

East Mildew settings Gonna pay of people Eight.

27:52

Hundred. And a pizza same disease

27:54

of his. Days he is still a. Sustained.

27:57

Avast is t it'll get it was on lane and then of

27:59

inch. No and a nice but it's

28:01

with Tom. not weight but he. Can

28:05

just see Athenian or can we have

28:07

been told and seal and Lane Yeah

28:09

people. and if it's so mom they

28:11

put up when line in late. Necessity

28:14

pastry be catch these people case. It

28:16

really coincided with the rise of Face

28:18

Pick Life. Ah see spit

28:20

started the last him as saying

28:23

we could just go live any

28:25

time at that the same time

28:27

period that people started Clinton key

28:29

to success with internal you really

28:32

going into pedophiles by flirting with

28:34

some of the last thing the

28:36

further riled up. Who's

28:40

your. Move. Against

28:42

them and. Move. Against

28:44

It's. At

28:50

that. Is it

28:52

authors? I've

28:55

never given it much thought know most we

28:58

went out and show business and sit and

29:00

play them. And

29:02

am but a yeah just seems like am

29:04

waiting. I came from sissy that that I

29:07

to the p two hundred would think that

29:09

was of a. Think

29:11

people's skin an elite they said that

29:13

will be those His lesson in the

29:15

day it isn't just wanna be tagged

29:17

as Bundestag and islands or to slip

29:19

for couldn't get and it's It's as

29:21

if as is. I'm

29:24

afraid of enables. Type

29:41

of his that they are my thoughts.

29:44

So I went to the seen the

29:46

scenes cancelled such guess accept the truth

29:48

and day. I. get in the

29:50

car and again as i use

29:52

yahoo and i that guy that

29:55

he was told me about politics

29:57

no seats me politics has the

29:59

my bike literally a

30:01

second later they went, what did you

30:03

make of that Nicola Sturgeon deleting her WhatsApp? I

30:06

was like ahhh. I said

30:08

ahhh ahhh ahhh. I said well whatever

30:10

it is ahhh ahhh ahhh

30:12

ahhh. And I tell you I don't

30:15

know before they send peer greetings or

30:17

labour or the Tories and I'm

30:19

thinking you could have got Liberal Democat

30:21

like, who do you Glasgow

30:24

votes for a Liberal Democat? Like no

30:26

offence Liberal Democat, it's lovely but there's

30:28

where it ends. Ahh

30:31

ahhh. And then the rest of the journey's

30:33

like, you know whom's are

30:36

useless? They're just like ahhh right

30:38

okay. Aye aye aye. And

30:40

that I ahhh and it's

30:42

ahhh ahhh. And I was like,

30:45

oh wait a minute there's a theme

30:47

here. The theme would appear to be women

30:50

and men with brown

30:52

skin. You are not

30:54

a fan of right so I think

30:56

what we're getting to here is that

30:58

you're just a misogynistic racist. No

31:00

tip. No tip. No

31:03

tip. No tip. That

31:05

he wasn't just talking to some guy. The

31:07

other guy was in the same boat as

31:09

you. He has that conversation, he's got evidence

31:11

that he'll go, he's talking about women there.

31:14

I'm the one who taught it. Just all

31:16

the time. Work around for how they can

31:18

just start talking about that. He's like, this

31:20

is a L-E-Z

31:23

zone for the environment putting 300 taxis

31:25

off the

31:27

road. And I was like, oh

31:29

alright okay. I was like why is that?

31:32

Aye well because you know you need a clean

31:34

off taxi. I was like, well

31:36

it's cleaner. Aye aye aye. It's the Scottish

31:38

Government. I mean this is pretty much every

31:40

British city. It's got them. See that's where I'm going

31:43

down the country and everybody else goes, aye

31:45

we hit them first. I was like no we

31:47

didn't. Probably one of the last to actually

31:49

get them. No no no no no

31:51

no no. You're just like right so

31:53

it literally doesn't matter what happens here.

31:56

You're ultimately going to blame this. The taxi

31:58

should be exempt from it. the last public

32:00

transport I'm

32:04

not really bothered but the whole

32:06

point was he was just horrible

32:10

horrible now it's like he's

32:12

not going to tax him in He's

32:14

getting to be an older guy's job now He's getting

32:16

to be a middle aged guy's job What did he

32:18

used to be? It'd be more of

32:20

a mix He doesn't

32:22

see a lot of young dudes All the

32:24

young dudes There'd

32:26

be more women Probably

32:29

a safety thing as

32:31

well Probably a safety thing for women that'd

32:33

be driving about picking up

32:35

guys is probably not the

32:37

safest occupation That's why there's bullet proof glass

32:40

in it They'll have a chib in there,

32:42

a cab That would be a good TV

32:45

show where they fight each other in a cab Techy chib

32:48

Or just you know you get members of the public

32:50

like gladiators And they're like you're going to fight

32:52

a tax so you don't know what he's got What

32:55

he's holding, who it is Can I hang?

32:57

Brilliant And you just flag it down and

32:59

start some beef with him That would be

33:01

the series of like animal themed taxi drivers

33:03

who are like ragons the way they have

33:05

gladiators Like he's a guy called

33:07

Wolf He's fucking powerful

33:09

and you need to go against him But

33:12

yeah every hundreds of taxis like through McIntire

33:14

or something like that, that's special What

33:18

if you get to pick your taxi depending on the

33:20

advert that they've got on their cab You

33:23

get to pick your friends I like C21

33:26

Just one person, you're like what I see

33:28

He will not remember C21, there

33:30

is no way I'm

33:34

so, I'm so gusty Ben Amazing

33:39

Is there a meditation on the

33:41

meaninglessness of language? Because whatever

33:43

their hints suggested it could sort

33:45

of be I

33:49

think you could just pick it, I'm going to go

33:51

for this guy He's got a yellow

33:54

taxi and he's advertising something like

33:56

that He's advertising

33:58

a yellow PGS He's no left act taxi

34:00

for 20 years. I'm

34:03

gonna take that guy. The taxis

34:05

have a thing where if somebody's

34:07

violent in the back, it

34:10

goes out, it's like a panic button, and it

34:12

goes out to all the other taxis. So every

34:14

other taxi that's not with somebody in the

34:16

back, then comes, you know, you would

34:18

just drive to a bit of spare ground with this

34:20

guy kicking fuck out your taxi in the back. All

34:23

the other taxis will pull up, and everybody kicks fuck out

34:25

the guy. That's

34:28

what we want to get. That's what we want to do. We

34:31

want to get two wrestlers in the back of that cab, and

34:34

then when all the taxis come, that's

34:36

when the fun starts. It's like a

34:38

warrior. It's a slightly different show. It's

34:40

kind of like a battle royale. Yeah.

34:44

It's like a punctual. It's a

34:46

bit Mad Max, though, and it was two

34:48

wrestlers are just skating out of the back

34:50

here, taxiing all the other taxis, and I'm

34:52

like, oh, I knew I should have went

34:55

for my chaps. I like the idea that

34:57

it's two wrestlers, and the next guy tagged

34:59

him, and then they needed to go and

35:01

fuck the guy. They came out

35:03

either door. They

35:06

made it. One of them's like the

35:09

refract. Ripping it off. Yeah,

35:12

it's quite cool, isn't it? You

35:15

know, it's quite an individualistic job being a taxi

35:17

driver, but it's nice that they have this kind

35:20

of community version of violence, you

35:22

know? I

35:24

don't know if it's nice. It's sweet. It

35:27

makes my heart sing. The idea that,

35:30

oh, I'm out here by myself, but if

35:32

I need my pals, and

35:34

it's not necessarily people that you know, it's just we all

35:36

have the vested interest that people should

35:38

be kicking fuck out taxis. At that point,

35:40

they're all dying of heart attacks, man. They're

35:43

all fighting for, fighting for, fighting wrestlers, pumping

35:45

them as well, probably. What

35:47

if they're facing the button, and somebody's like,

35:49

oh, that guy's pressed the button, and

35:52

the other guy's like, it's about

35:54

to help, wanker. We'll keep 10 minutes. We'll

35:57

keep it, please, man. That

36:00

fucking one man. Give it

36:02

10 minutes, let him get a bite of your

36:04

leathering but we'll make sure he doesn't get killed.

36:06

Yeah. Sepulchral. Yeah? And him. Yeah.

36:09

He was sick of the little props wasn't he? But

36:11

then they were like, well... What

36:13

would you think that's gonna do for us? Just

36:16

a true story. He went deep.

36:18

Uh huh. Went deep as a jewel

36:20

thief. I don't know. I

36:23

like it. I don't think I've seen it. I've only seen the bit

36:25

in the Rushmore. Well

36:27

they kind of remake it. It's like

36:29

teenagers in a school make a kind

36:31

of high school play business epical. I've

36:34

only seen that. I haven't seen the actual... What

36:36

one? Yeah. What? It's a film

36:39

where about this wee guy called Max Fisher

36:41

who... He's like

36:43

a teenager prodigy...

36:48

...seater maker. And

36:50

he makes versions of like...

36:53

Sepical and... Apocalypse now for his

36:55

high school musical basically. How much

36:57

of the budget did the drama

37:00

department have? Well it was

37:02

a private school, isn't it? Of course it is. Of

37:05

course it is. Can you talk about his, you know, private

37:08

schools and the unfilled bias that

37:10

you get? I talked about that in my show, don't you

37:12

worry about it after it covered for all three of us.

37:15

There's a thing isn't there where like

37:17

urban dystopia

37:20

largely comes from... There was a period

37:22

round about the late 70s, early 80s

37:24

in New York where there was

37:27

a huge budget in crisis... And

37:30

that created things

37:32

like... There was no garbage

37:35

collections and there was like... There

37:37

was subways were really unsafe. And

37:39

like any time you see a movie now...

37:42

And in fact most depictions of Gotham since

37:44

then would be like...

37:47

All stuff from that. People in a subway

37:49

late at night getting menaced by a gang.

37:51

They're all from this really specific kind of...

37:53

How you read them? Like two or three

37:56

years. Like the opening credits to the equalizer.

37:59

What was the name of that one? He was like an avenging angel or something. Bernie.

38:01

There was a guy who they said can

38:03

you give us five dollars. There

38:12

was a bunch of them. He said

38:14

I've got five dollars for all of you and pulled a

38:16

gun and shot them all. Something. But

38:18

several of them in the back. So

38:20

they seemed like no, great. And then they

38:23

had these things like the what they

38:25

called the subway angels. And they would go

38:28

and guard subway carriages. They had a

38:30

bit of a look at them. Yeah,

38:33

they were kind of slightly camp militia. Public

38:36

camp or militia. New York

38:38

vested men with the race. But that

38:41

period of history

38:45

has for some reason

38:47

completely indelibly marked the public

38:49

imagination. I think that is because a

38:52

lot of the TV programmes around about that time

38:54

were based around New York. And

38:56

I think that was the image that was

38:59

just constantly projected. So I can certainly think

39:01

about that time like the

39:03

opening credits to Kegme and Lacey. Hell Street

39:05

Blues. All this kind of stuff

39:08

of this kind of real inner

39:10

city menace. The equaliser. Like

39:12

we were saying like the women on the left and the

39:15

guy getting on it. Getting in and stuff

39:17

like that. And it was all

39:19

kind of there's a lot of sex crimes and a lot of

39:21

robberies and stuff. And they could have feet of you on the

39:23

subway. That was always very visible

39:25

in those programmes as well. And they came to

39:28

a portrayal of certain types of people who lived

39:30

within the city. And I think

39:32

it was so... It

39:35

was projected so much onto television

39:37

and quite iconic television programmes at

39:39

that time. Which at that time

39:41

people had four channels and everybody

39:43

watched all those shows. So

39:46

it's probably just came all

39:48

the way through. Do you know what I mean? Like generationally.

39:52

But why it's just an accident of

39:54

history really that it isn't Glasgow

39:56

1988. Could

39:58

be Glasgow now. films are

40:01

just like a

40:03

corporate mascot for the city. A

40:06

garden festival where a guy

40:08

gets his leg blown off in the opening fireworks

40:10

ceremony and pubs

40:13

starting to do naturals. In

40:16

hot nuts. You

40:32

were stuck in mumbles

40:35

recently outside Swansea and

40:38

we watched The Batman. Were they

40:42

the Michael Keaton? No, they

40:44

were The Batman which is the robot, we

40:46

had a robot pants in season. We watched

40:48

a few films, all-star robot pants. When they

40:50

filmed up at the necropolis or something like

40:52

Glasgow and Liverpool and when that came out

40:54

there there were so many

40:56

articles from American film

40:58

journalists like we have never seen

41:00

a Gotham so

41:03

grimy and dirty

41:05

and broken as

41:07

this because the last couple of other

41:09

films were all filmed in Toronto in

41:12

Chicago which are quite

41:14

bad for crime but they're

41:16

nothing like post-industrial

41:18

Glasgow people are like oh everything just

41:20

looks like it doesn't work and it's

41:22

disgusting and it was like

41:24

well yeah you know you should come see it

41:26

in real life it's it's

41:28

shite. We've got like standing for like Filly

41:30

Delphine World War Z, a city that Bruce

41:34

Springsteen was singing about that's how

41:36

bad that town is. I love

41:38

the chicken man in Philly last

41:40

night. I had the last take

41:42

away from Chicago though, one

41:44

of my favourite films was filmed in

41:47

Chicago, The Blues Brothers, great,

41:49

love it and probably

41:52

the first kind of comedy film that

41:54

I watched like on my own but

41:56

do you know that Chicago is

41:58

actually the plan

42:01

after the Great Fire, do you know it's

42:03

based in Glasgow? The Great Fire. Well,

42:05

yeah, the fact that the river went through it and

42:07

it doped. Okay. So they were like,

42:09

right, how do we rebuild this city? What's the closest city

42:12

we've got to it? And it was

42:14

Glasgow. And I feel that Chicago has won

42:16

that fight very convincingly. Eh, it's

42:18

sort of, erm, Gotham

42:20

in. Hmm? Glasgow

42:22

in the way. Cos Gotham in the comics is Chicago.

42:25

Right. So, is it?

42:27

Eh, so yeah, after

42:30

all that in, em, Chicago's actually

42:32

got a bigger Jewish population than New

42:34

York because when they were

42:36

rebuilding the city as European Jews

42:38

were kinda arriving and it was like, right,

42:41

we need migrants, where do we need them to

42:43

work? We need them to go to Chicago. We

42:46

need them to help build up Chicago. And that's

42:48

where a lot of migrants get sent. So it's

42:50

actually probably, traditionally, a more diverse

42:52

city than New York. And

42:54

then that's where we got Hamburgers from. Apopay.

42:59

Apostritto. Germany. Germany.

43:02

America. Germanic society. Have I

43:04

gone on this rant before? No.

43:09

Really? I've got to say this all

43:12

the time. America

43:15

makes a lot more sense when you realise

43:17

it's essentially a German society. Mm-hmm. They

43:19

almost chose German as their first language. Mm-hmm.

43:21

Erm, loads of German people emigrated there.

43:23

I would argue all the normal ones.

43:27

Mm-hmm. And loads of stuff. But then in the

43:29

1950s, all the bad ones. Yeah,

43:31

they had to sweep up later. But

43:35

lots of the stuff they have, the

43:37

weird brass bands they have at, like,

43:39

high school graduation or just marching through

43:41

the town, the towns you go to

43:43

where they go, we're home of

43:45

the aubergines or whatever,

43:47

you know, and they have a massive,

43:49

like, boosterism kind of thing about their

43:52

town. That's all German. The work ethic

43:54

is German and they are

43:56

like white German Protestants. Mm-hmm. Who

43:59

are their biggest movies to? you know, Sandra

44:01

Bullock, she's German,

44:03

right? She speaks German. See

44:06

who else? Well, she speaks German. She speaks

44:08

German, because she's a German, yeah? I

44:11

tell you who else? Bruce Willis. Yeah.

44:14

You know? That's what they're

44:17

doing. That's what they're doing. They're expressing

44:20

ideas of how to be a

44:22

new German in cinema. So like

44:24

Bruce Willis in

44:26

Die Hard, he's

44:29

saying, like you don't have to be like the

44:31

old German, like Hans Gruber, who

44:34

wants money, who wants actual physical

44:36

things. The thing that you

44:38

want is what the new American German

44:41

desires. Sensation. Why

44:43

would you want these pieces of paper when

44:46

you could be throwing people off buildings and

44:48

having a really weird psychosexual drama with

44:50

your ex-wife? Yeah. And so on. You

44:53

know? He's saying, enter

44:55

the spectacle as an American

44:57

German. And the reason Die Hard

45:00

is a Christmas film, is

45:03

a thing people miss. Die Hard is a

45:05

Christmas film because it's the story of Alien,

45:09

as told through the eyes of the Alien. So

45:11

he's crawling about the vents, killing everybody in

45:13

the building. Yeah? So

45:18

there's actually the music. When the last body

45:20

rises up in Die Hard, they've not killed

45:22

one of the henchmen. He runs up and

45:25

then black cop shoots him. Yeah. They use

45:27

the music from Alien. This

45:29

is exactly music from Alien because it's

45:31

the story of Alien. How

45:34

does that make it a Christmas film? Because Alien

45:36

is the story of a virgin birth. I

45:39

feel as if I've just watched a

45:43

10 minute reel on TikTok. And

45:46

I'm like, I am never getting that team

45:48

back. I

45:50

feel like I've found the YouTube channel of a man

45:53

who has killed himself because

45:55

nobody understood him. It's the

45:57

Germans! I

46:01

decided to face her girls but...

46:03

But it's the same like all

46:05

your kind of second generation American Jews,

46:07

like there's so many of them with

46:09

any like Broadway and stuff and it

46:12

was like this collaboration between homosexuals

46:15

and Jews who then ultimately wrote some

46:17

of the best Christmas songs that we've

46:19

ever had and it

46:21

was that kind of Bavarian Christmas

46:25

influence. Yes and their Christmas thing

46:27

also German. Christmas is German, the

46:29

tree is Prince Albert,

46:32

it's not the tree over. Who

46:34

was the biggest star throughout my

46:37

childhood and teenage years? Arnold

46:39

Schwarzenegger. Wasn't even an actor,

46:42

most famous actor in the world. The

46:45

star of German. I was Austrian. I

46:47

know but that's pretty much German. It

46:50

was so... It is though. It is

46:52

German. What was going on with that

46:54

period of time where like John Claude

46:57

found Adam and Arnold Schwarzenegger

47:01

were all like action stars but they would never

47:03

bring up the fact that they had

47:05

weird voices. Oh

47:08

and like the late 80s that would have been,

47:10

wouldn't fit back to being like your late 80s.

47:12

Yeah, Kindergarten Cop, so that's kind of the early

47:15

90s. Kindergarten Cop. You

47:17

know? Where was that filmed? Where was that filmed?

47:20

Where? In the most German.

47:22

In the most German city

47:24

in America where a whole

47:26

bunch of Germans had gone and settled. What city is

47:28

that? Kind

47:30

of tough to look up. Right. But

47:33

look up the history of that

47:35

town because it was totally settled by

47:37

Germans. And the movie Kindergarten Cop is

47:39

just basically a template for how to

47:41

be a German. Kindergarten.

47:44

Kindergarten, the German word. Exactly.

47:47

Kindergarten, the garden of the children. Oh!

47:50

Wow. So

47:52

what we're seeing is that

47:55

the Allies won World War II but

47:58

Germany have really won because they've

48:01

infiltrated America. They infiltrated

48:03

America long before World War II.

48:05

And in fact, they had to

48:07

boond at the start of World

48:09

War II. They had to go and round up and crack

48:11

all these heads because there were so many German sympathizers

48:14

in America. Wow.

48:20

I mean, do you think America... Tell me

48:22

how German that town is, Christopher. It's

48:25

pretty. We've got something called the

48:27

Astoria Meglar Bridge, which sounds pretty.

48:30

Have you ever had history of the town? OK, I'll read

48:32

about this. It's the time that we met. I

48:34

think it was a fur trapper. Yeah, there was a lot

48:36

of fur trappers going at the time. That's

48:39

where the Germans went. I went

48:41

and left and fulfilled the most German place possible. And then a

48:43

couple of hundred years, we'll do a movie about how to be

48:45

German. It's not a cool one. It's a

48:47

German name. And we'll have a German bloke in it. Yeah. I

48:51

love Aaron Schwarzenegger. I know he was a

48:53

big Republican and stuff, but I just think

48:56

he's an inspirational figure. Was he not quite

48:58

groovy? He was jagging

49:00

a few housekeepers. Was

49:02

it consensual? It

49:06

was always a power dynamic, isn't it?

49:08

OK, but... I

49:10

don't know that you can fully consent to

49:12

someone who's physically powerful. Is that... It's

49:15

like saying, can I consent to the

49:17

sea? Do you

49:19

know what I mean? You just dive into the road

49:21

in swells and then ride in a great e-tot. Well,

49:24

you picked your trunk, son. Quite

49:26

a defence in court. You

49:29

cannot consent to things. Think

49:34

of the sea, your honor. Does

49:37

one consent to life? I

49:40

did not ask to be born yet. I am not fired. Hello,

49:55

my dear. I

49:57

don't ever mention the right sense. It's

50:00

always like Jean-Claude Van Damme is like a father of

50:02

two who works for the police in Pennsylvania

50:05

and he's like Can

50:07

barely speak English really? Why

50:11

is he doing the splits all the time? That's father too. My

50:14

dad never did the splits the entire time I knew him.

50:16

No him? I

50:20

don't hang out with him all the time. Maybe he

50:22

is doing the splits over again. That's so on second.

50:26

Horrible to go home. What about

50:29

split-sevember? Do you know what

50:31

I mean? Instead of all these like growing a moustache

50:33

I'm not a drink, anyway. You just work on the

50:35

splits. Are

50:38

you going to respond to me for split-sevember? There'd

50:43

be a ways men rendered in third

50:45

time. That may be a good thing.

50:47

A torn in half like a like

50:49

a wishbone from a turkey belly. And

50:51

that is how we deal with population

50:54

control. But that's what we

50:56

raise money for for impotent men

50:58

with Major

51:00

ball injuries. A Kimbo. I'm

51:03

raising money for ball injuries during

51:05

split-sevember. Yeah, splits

51:07

for ember. You just get to fold

51:10

in chairs in your office and you just

51:12

try for a week and I

51:15

think you would deserve more money than somebody who just

51:17

didn't shave the top lip. You

51:20

know? Fair. Split-sevember.

51:24

I don't know how much effort it takes to

51:26

grow a moustache. Sure does. And

51:29

I don't know how much effort it takes to do

51:32

the splits. So I feel that it would be wrong

51:34

for me commenting this. God,

51:37

that made it look so easy, but there was always

51:39

a bit of every film where

51:41

the you know, he'd sleep with some

51:44

lady and then she'd wake up in the morning like,

51:46

ah, and she'd look over and he's like in a

51:48

thong doing the splits. Yeah, just

51:51

like, what's he doing? Go

51:53

get a coffee or something, make it a breakfast. Doing

51:56

the splits? That's weird. I

52:00

don't know how many women would seem that attractive than

52:02

a man. So this is something

52:04

you're looking for. I'll make sure. I

52:08

really entered pagan I suppose. I

52:10

think that was the subtext. Subtext

52:15

is peg me. As he

52:18

represents Europe,

52:21

France and so on. Vellans.

52:27

Correctly, in my opinion. And

52:29

you know the goodies are Germans. It's

52:34

been a very American episode. Or

52:37

German episode. Yeah. Do you

52:39

think Arnold Schwarzenegger would be a worse presidential

52:41

candidate than either of the two people who

52:43

are actually going to do it? Sadly

52:46

no. Like you still look back like

52:48

in the late 80s right Gore Vidal said

52:52

you know the next election would

52:54

be between General Norman Schwartzkopf who

52:56

led the first require and Arnold

52:58

Schwarzenegger was you'd say the joke.

53:00

I know you're like Schwarzenegger would

53:02

be like way better. Yeah. Compared

53:05

to Baidon. Imagine when he

53:07

gets to Baidon state of mind

53:09

and then just comes out thinking

53:11

he's Robocopf. I

53:13

would love that. You

53:16

were the terminator and he's like no Robocopf. I'm

53:19

not Robocopf. But he was. Obviously

53:23

not. I'm

53:25

thinking Robocopf from. In

53:28

the last action hero. Arnold

53:31

Schwarzenegger is like an actor

53:34

but then he comes from a film in

53:37

every life but he's a kind of

53:39

Schwarzenegger. He's great. He's a

53:41

guy with a fake eyeball. Charles

53:45

Dance. Charles Dance yeah. Really

53:47

good. Charles Dance. He

53:49

was also Game of

53:52

Thrones. Charles Dance

53:54

played the dad. He's been in

53:56

quite a lot. Oh Charlie boy. I

53:58

guess people say. those villains aren't

54:01

because they're English, it's

54:03

because they're intellectual. Do

54:05

you know what I mean? And that's what you're supposed to

54:07

be afraid of. People

54:09

who, you know,

54:11

know more than you. Whereas

54:13

the heroes are pretty instinctive. Right,

54:18

right. So it's the knowledge

54:20

they've got the fear of. It's

54:23

a good book by Chuck Clusterman called I

54:25

Wear the Black Hat About Villainy and it

54:27

says that a villain can't be stupid

54:30

to be a villain. He can have evil stupid

54:32

people, but a villain has to know what they're

54:34

doing is wrong and then do it anyway because

54:36

they may have this on a timeline. So you

54:38

have to, you know, George W Bush wasn't a

54:40

villain. He was terrible,

54:42

but he was too daft probably.

54:45

Whereas somebody like Scar

54:49

from The Lion King, he

54:53

had that degree of intelligence and obviously he had

54:55

enough to come back to him. He

54:58

was an English man. Even though his

55:00

brother was American. Quite

55:04

a cruel name. A deformed lion

55:06

called Scar. No wonder he was such an

55:08

asshole. I

55:11

didn't like Black Panther in that it had the

55:13

plot of The Lion King. But

55:21

the plot of The Lion King is

55:23

Hamlet, isn't it? Well, is it? Is

55:27

it Hamlet or Macbeth? It's

55:29

one of the Shakespearean plays. It's

55:32

the thing of like the dad who dies so the son

55:34

comes in and his uncle takes over. Well, why would it

55:36

be like that? That's not another royal family. That would be

55:38

like, that would be a lot

55:40

of things. That would be... Smo-n-or-key. Um,

55:45

Oedipus? Yeah. Maybe a

55:47

girl, I mean that would have been a terrible

55:49

Lion King plot. You could miss the lion shagging

55:52

his lion mum stuck in a... He's got a

55:54

lot of his own eyes out in the final

55:56

number. I

56:02

don't think it's really

56:04

that tightly Hamlet because

56:10

Hamlet's dad doesn't get trampled to

56:20

death by Buffalo. He's already dead. Right.

56:23

That's good. We're just trying to think

56:25

of more German

56:28

stuff. Sausages. Oh,

56:32

whoa, don't get me

56:35

started on that. Hot dogs. Which

56:37

were called Frankfurters but they changed

56:39

it. Yeah. You know. Hamburgers.

56:43

Hamburgers. Apple striddle. Apple

56:45

pie. I'm totally on board with

56:47

this. Okay, okay. And then they went back and

56:49

done the cleanup in the 1950s, late

56:51

40s, 1950s, and made a change in paperclip.

56:54

They were so racist that the Nazis looked into the Jim

56:58

Crow laws and said, this is good, but

57:01

it's too extreme. Wow.

57:05

Yeah, do you know this is the case? Yeah. It's

57:07

the case. It's the case. It's

57:09

the case. It's the case. It's the case. It's

57:11

the case. It's the case.

57:14

It's the case. It's extreme. Wow.

57:17

Yeah, do you know this? No. The

57:19

Nazis looked as they're casting around to formalize their philosophy

57:21

of the Jim Crow laws in America and they said,

57:23

well, we can't have, you know, Jim Crow was the

57:25

one drop rule. I mean, if

57:28

you had one drop of black blood, you were black. So

57:30

if your great, great grandfather's black, you were there for black.

57:32

And they went, well, we can't have that. We can't see

57:34

if someone's great, great grandfather was Jewish. They're Jewish. It's just

57:37

not gonna... It's

57:39

just too much. We are

57:41

blood scientists, but... Yeah,

57:44

it was two races for the Nazis. Much

57:47

of the... You know, liked it. I'm

57:50

sure they were like, yeah, you're taking that too far. Wink,

57:52

wink. It

57:54

was the anniversary of Malcolm X's

57:56

death yesterday. And

57:59

there was a quote during the race. which was Malcolm

58:02

X is something like I

58:04

can't feel any mercy or compassion for

58:07

a society that crushes people and

58:09

then Punishes them for being for

58:12

not being able to stand up. That's cool

58:15

and like I I Think

58:19

it's almost The opposite

58:21

of that. I think it's a

58:23

society that crushes people and

58:25

then punishes them For standing

58:27

up. Yeah, you know what I mean? Yeah

58:29

So like the moment if you go off

58:31

and die in your fucking house and

58:34

fucking, you know struggle through all this stuff They put

58:36

you through they'll leave you alone but

58:38

the moment you stand up the moment you

58:40

start organizing Union or Protest

58:43

or anything and was he shot Malcolm

58:45

X he's shot It's

58:48

for a African American unity,

58:50

you know, cuz the moment you start coming

58:52

together and resisting stuff. That's when they crush you

58:54

They're quite happy with you being crushed. Yeah It's

58:59

such an individualistic society that they're just pitting

59:01

everybody against each other and we're so polarized

59:03

without people going Well, I don't agree with

59:05

you never seen but I agree with

59:08

you quite a lot so why don't we try and come together

59:10

and find a middle ground and try and Direct

59:13

change upward whereas instead we're just

59:15

all rolling about in the sawdust

59:17

scrapping with each other I

59:19

believe in this you believe in that

59:22

you're wrong. I'm right and there's no

59:24

anything so of power It's

59:26

just flipping and slipping and slipping away and

59:28

we can't bring any former reasonable change because

59:30

they admit so they're just gonna crushes What

59:34

you describing is the loss of solidarity? the

59:37

idea of solidarity liquid taxi

59:39

driver I'm

59:42

sorry that comes with knowing okay somebody

59:44

fucks with me. Let's go to that

59:46

best background Maybe they're

59:48

two wrestlers. Maybe it's an old lady who's confused

59:50

that we will kick fuck out them. Why are

59:53

these guys? Mexicans wearing masks.

59:55

I Don't

59:57

know thing

1:00:00

you know you're being Haruka ran it A

1:00:04

couple of banditos Yeah,

1:00:07

so that is

1:00:10

brilliant I'm

1:00:13

happy

1:00:16

with that, we made an episode about New

1:00:18

York and stuff I think

1:00:20

there's some interesting information pops up in these

1:00:23

things Yeah people are wearing a lot about

1:00:26

Germany She'd

1:00:35

do more of Malcolm X quotes One

1:00:37

of them in a week? Malcolm

1:00:40

X said this one, he's just dating me and

1:00:42

said this is wrong He wasn't wrong He

1:00:46

could show up and do these

1:00:48

later, so how fucking right was

1:00:50

he? Yeah, he's just inverted now

1:00:52

isn't it It's all shit, it's

1:00:56

all of 80 shit People

1:00:58

say that in the X-Men, Professor

1:01:00

X is Martin Luther King But

1:01:02

Magneto is Malcolm X Confusing

1:01:04

to call him Professor X then Yeah

1:01:07

that was a weird thing Maybe

1:01:12

that was the switcher who? It

1:01:16

was a kind of, I was talking about that recently because it

1:01:18

was like X-Men was In

1:01:21

the 60s it was a metaphor for the civil

1:01:23

rights movement It was people who were different, they

1:01:25

were being persecuted for being different They were mutants

1:01:27

who can shoot lasers out their eyes but they

1:01:30

are different, they were persecuted for that Then

1:01:32

when they made the films in the 2000s Talked

1:01:35

to Ian McKellen and he was like there's going

1:01:38

to be a bit where the mutant comes out

1:01:40

to his family And they're like oh could you

1:01:42

just try not being a mutant? And

1:01:45

he's like that's not really how it

1:01:47

works so it became a metaphor for

1:01:49

the gay experience Whereas now, I was

1:01:51

saying a lot of

1:01:53

very right wing people are into the

1:01:56

X-Men And it's because they see the

1:01:58

X-Men as being about what it's like to

1:02:00

be a white Nazi, because you're like, we

1:02:02

are the next perfect stepper human evolution, but

1:02:04

we're being persecuted for being perfect, and that's

1:02:07

how a Nazi would perceive you early. It's

1:02:09

a good story. I am

1:02:11

very hooked into the gay experience.

1:02:14

What a description. This is how I'm going

1:02:16

to now say I love my life. I

1:02:19

might say loving the gay experience. I might

1:02:21

say loving the gay experience. It sounds like

1:02:23

I gay, bad and blackpool, but I

1:02:26

am fucking all in. Just

1:02:28

feel like, so Susie, yeah, I'm married to

1:02:30

my wife, so very much

1:02:32

a gay experience. I

1:02:35

love that. I love that. I love

1:02:38

that. Can't you take the piss off? No,

1:02:40

I love that. The old state idea of

1:02:42

like... I love that. You sympathise with the

1:02:44

press by making a metaphor where they are

1:02:46

a mutant. Yeah, a dangerous mutant who could

1:02:48

end the world. Like half the X-Men could

1:02:50

all end the world if they just figured

1:02:52

out like, oh, I can turn oxygen

1:02:54

into ice. The world's covered

1:02:56

in oxygen. Let's just kill everybody now

1:02:58

when you're ice age. But

1:03:01

he's too busy fucking, you know, skating about.

1:03:04

Loving the gay speedies. He's cleaning up. I

1:03:06

know this is the true of a lot

1:03:08

of superheroes, but who's cleaning up after that,

1:03:10

he's gay. Yeah, mop man. If

1:03:18

I lead a man, and if I

1:03:21

lead a few on a sponsorless podcast... Only

1:03:24

no sponsors. Only no sponsors, so far. At

1:03:26

the time of recording this. At the time

1:03:28

of recording. Back to Scotland. It's the 60th

1:03:30

Century, so see what happens after the X-Men

1:03:32

are not in season 13. Why did you...

1:03:38

Yeah, I'm gonna just step in. The

1:03:40

state... State funded. I'd love

1:03:42

a state funded German podcast. Thank

1:03:44

you for getting the word out

1:03:46

about Americanisation.

1:03:48

Thank you for giving us Austria.

1:03:53

Come to the Euros, see what happens. You

1:03:56

do win colouring and you'll be walking up and... You're

1:03:59

right. We're gonna get sponsorship when we're

1:04:01

in Germany That's not gonna be fair And like

1:04:04

NASCAR jackets covered in sports Mmmmmm

1:04:08

Amazing We have to do

1:04:11

it in German accents That's the only speculation Have

1:04:14

you heard about this duckstep bum genre

1:04:16

of pornography, thank you We're

1:04:18

in Germany What

1:04:21

would they call him in Germany? Bebou

1:04:25

Schwartz or something? Schwart?

1:04:29

Is that a Swedish for penis? Schwart?

1:04:33

Why is she getting it? Good

1:04:38

gear Johann Johann? I

1:04:40

put Johann I know, you

1:04:42

ran through the song from the storyteller It

1:04:47

was this kid showing it, it would be like I

1:04:49

am the storyteller In England

1:04:51

I am John And then he would be like

1:04:54

In Holland I am young In

1:04:57

Germany I am Johann Johann In

1:05:00

Glasgow I am a serial killer I

1:05:05

am Johann Amazing

1:05:11

The gay experience Ahhh

1:05:13

I love that Honestly that's

1:05:15

the gay experience I'm gonna put it on my

1:05:17

insta file Gay

1:05:21

experience A forerunner of the gay

1:05:23

experience Is that an escape room?

1:05:26

Fucking tremendous Escape

1:05:29

room as you leave the closet in the end of it Aye

1:05:31

Do you want to be seen to your radio? Hide

1:05:36

your bed Or just take your bottle of poppers and dance to Dona S

1:05:38

That would be good boy George running in the escape room Based

1:05:44

on his flat there, isn't it? You

1:05:48

just come to Your friends have bought you

1:05:50

the thing you just wake up in there Yeah

1:05:52

it's a bit more expensive than most Escape rooms can take off

1:05:55

to your closet Mmmhmm

1:05:58

Mmmhmm Mmmhmm week

1:06:00

for Here Comes the Gilly Team.

1:06:02

We'll be back next week with

1:06:04

more anti-authoritarianism and chummy life.