0:04

I'm George Siegal and this is the move

0:04

the world podcast every week we feature

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interviews with people dedicated

0:09

to making the world a better place.

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Hi everybody welcome to this

0:12

episode of the move the world podcast

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where every show we introduce you to people

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who are in their lives or in their business

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are doing something to try to move the world

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My guest today is someone who's doing a lot of

0:27

things to move the world in fact there's just a

0:27

there's there's a full-on list of them that will

0:32

go through. Kerryn Vaughan is an international

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speaker author facilitator and podcast host and

0:39

and probably in a few weeks her biggest claim

0:39

to famous she had me on her podcast as a guest

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which means absolutely nothing but

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thank you so much for joining me.

0:48

My absolute pleasure

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no it doesn't mean nothing you were

0:53

fantastic what a story you've got i

0:53

absolutely love it so i can't wait

0:57

for yours to come out and thanks i'm

0:57

excited too yeah oh it's my pleasure.

1:01

Now it was interesting because when

1:01

I was on your show I go wait a second this

1:05

this lady's done a lot of stuff that that

1:05

is pretty interesting so if somebody just

1:09

asked you in your little elevator pitch here

1:09

and said karen tell me what you do to move

1:13

the world which one of these things would

1:13

you start with what would you say is your

1:17

thing that keeps you going that you

1:17

make a difference in on a daily basis.

1:20

Yeah i think i'd have to go with get off

1:20

the bench only because um it's my it's a way that

1:26

i can get to groups of people and inspire them you

1:26

know to actually get started on something and to

1:32

i guess to realize that they actually

1:32

can make a difference despite all the

1:37

self-doubt and despite the fact that they feel

1:37

so small that they can't make a difference so

1:43

i don't know i like them all i now

1:43

get off the bench started as a book

1:49

yeah it did and then it evolved into a podcast so

1:49

you know when i hear that as somebody who's just a

1:54

sports nut and everything it makes me think don't

1:54

stay on the bench and ride the pine get in the

1:59

game and try to do something so what does the book

1:59

talk about how do you get people off the bench and

2:05

into the game so it started off as you know all

2:05

the other things that i've done i would um talk

2:10

at conferences around the world and i was i was

2:10

supposed to well i was talking at one going to be

2:15

talking one and the guy says can you do a workshop

2:15

and i'm like yeah what for you know help people

2:22

to start projects and i'm like oh geez i don't

2:22

know anything about that i don't know this is the

2:26

self-doubt maybe we'll talk about challenges soon

2:26

but self-doubt kicks in for everybody and imposter

2:31

syndrome anyway i ended up doing the workshop

2:31

and as i was going through i was thinking oh man

2:37

there's not enough time i need to tell you about

2:37

this and i need to tell you about that and so at

2:43

the end of it i said look there's so much more

2:43

to tell you if you give me an email address and

2:47

it wasn't one of those plugs to fill my email list

2:47

up because i'm terrible at that um it was it was

2:53

i'm going to send you a pdf with as much stuff as

2:53

i can think of to add to this workshop and as i

3:00

came home and started typing i'm like oh they need

3:00

to know about that oh they need to know about that

3:04

oh man they need to know about that you know and

3:04

i felt like i was cheating them if i didn't give

3:09

them all this information and within four weeks

3:09

i had the book get off the bench and it covers

3:14

um you know what's your idea what's your vision

3:14

you know what's your big why what problem you're

3:20

solving what's in the way resources risks funding

3:20

um how to break it down you know where to what's

3:26

your first step but i'm i'm kind of condensing

3:26

it way too much but it just sort of goes through

3:31

step by step it's not instructional but it talks

3:31

through all of the components of getting a project

3:37

up and running so sure and when you talk about

3:37

those different things um to me what's interesting

3:43

is you never know um what it's going to take or

3:43

where that idea is going to go if you just sit

3:49

there and and think about it i think people just

3:49

get you want to implode because you feel you have

3:54

so much on your plate where you're going what do

3:54

i do do i do this do i do that so what's a good

3:59

first step just so you get off the bench and

3:59

try to do something i just think put one foot

4:04

in front of the other and get started but i think

4:04

you know the main concept about the book is to i

4:09

and the workshop so get off the benches of work

4:09

which then led to workshops and then led to the

4:14

podcast podcast is a little different because it's

4:14

just sharing stories to inspire people to say that

4:19

they can too but basically it's about the whole

4:19

concept is get it out of your head onto paper

4:25

and into action you know and i think that it's

4:25

the it's the process of putting something down

4:30

on paper you know brain dumping everything and

4:30

then sort of organizing it a little bit as much

4:36

as it's as you're writing it down on paper you're

4:36

like oh my god there's so much stuff there's so

4:41

many things i have to do but once you're on paper

4:41

you can say what's an easy thing i can do today

4:47

you know well damn it you know i can research webs

4:47

website builders or i can get myself an email you

4:52

know or i can start a mailing list or i can you

4:52

know i can ring somebody and get some information

4:58

or i can research that topic so once it's all

4:58

written down you can start to pick little bits

5:03

and and fulfill them and honestly it's only doing

5:03

that one first thing and doing something every day

5:10

you know even if it's just thinking about it

5:10

for 15 minutes you you the ball gets rolling

5:15

but it will never get rolling unless you

5:15

take that first step it just won't sure.

5:20

One of the biggest obstacles i know

5:20

because i i feel like my whole career i've

5:25

always had ideas and then what keeps those

5:25

ideas from getting anywhere at least in my mind

5:30

is not having the money to do them because

5:30

you see some of the most successful people

5:34

aren't using their money to do their

5:34

ideas they have ways of raising it or

5:38

able to convince other people to be part of

5:38

it and that's never been a strength of mine

5:42

getting money from other people so if if money is

5:42

a hurdle that you have to overcome what do you do?

5:49

Yeah in the book i talk about you know

5:49

uh investors and crowdfunding and you know and

5:56

going for grants and all that kind of stuff now

5:56

i've got one uh one planet classrooms which is

6:01

a not-for-profit that i started in 2015 and we

6:01

support people in Africa with water tanks and

6:07

a sponsorship program and women's empower we've

6:07

bought land we've rebuilt schools you know we put

6:13

in tons of water tanks and water wells and all

6:13

that kind of stuff and every single every cent

6:19

every we've never got funding from anywhere

6:19

every single cent has come from um facebook

6:25

just people are from facebook and it has been

6:25

i've got this thing and i really believe in it

6:30

you know demonstrated achievement so when you so

6:30

start with the tiniest thing and and i tell people

6:36

this in my workshops start with be broken down

6:36

into a pilot program or just take one of the bits

6:43

and somehow get enough money just for a tiny

6:43

bit of it and prove it you know improve love

6:49

for example a woman wanted to do a domestic

6:49

violence rescue center you know it's where

6:54

women can come and um stay but it's going

6:54

to cost millions and how do you prove that

7:01

will stand up find a little space in your town

7:01

like a back room of a church or somewhere that's

7:07

not being used or that you can rent for twenty

7:07

dollars a week or something start putting on

7:11

coffees and this is before covid i mean covid has

7:11

definitely uh you know put a dent in all this kind

7:16

of stuff start getting people in and then start

7:16

you know taking note of your numbers make some

7:21

measurement you know when i started i had three

7:21

women come in and now i've got 20 and they're

7:26

telling me that their biggest issue is this and

7:26

it's that and how it's helped people is this and

7:31

that do you know so that you've actually got this

7:31

whole story to tell when you go for funding hey

7:35

this is really working and if i had funding i

7:35

would actually be able to do the next step and

7:40

the next step so sometimes i think we go for our

7:40

big brand plan which is going to cost millions

7:46

and it's not always possible to get there in the

7:46

first first instance so i believe in demonstrated

7:53

achievement for me i put a couple of things on

7:53

facebook with when i started one planet classrooms

7:58

hey look what i just did you know i just i just

7:58

this only cost me fifty dollars and this woman's

8:02

got a sewing machine and anyone else want to help

8:02

and someone else says yeah i'll give fifty dollars

8:08

and mixing we've got two sewing machines and it

8:08

actually didn't start with sewing machines but

8:12

i can't remember what it started with but i get

8:12

the idea yeah yeah and before long everybody's

8:18

like seeing these photos and they're like oh i

8:18

want to do that because everybody wants to help

8:25

everybody has well i'm going to say everybody but

8:25

i'm a bit of a i'm a bit of a rainbow unicorns

8:30

person i just like to think everyone's good even

8:30

if they're not um people want to help people want

8:35

to be altruistic and often they can't say well

8:35

how can i get to a village in Africa you know

8:41

i see the poverty in Africa i don't know how to

8:41

do that but when somebody provides them a conduit

8:46

you know so it's kind of like well i've got

8:46

connection with a village in Africa if you give me

8:50

twenty dollars i'll give i'll get food for someone

8:50

oh wow yes please and that way they feel fantastic

8:56

and you take a photo you get a photo sent back i

8:56

don't know like i think you can start small and

9:02

get proof that it's working and build from there i

9:02

really and by the way that sounds wonderful i mean

9:09

i just want to say that i've started um

9:09

all of my projects that are all successful

9:13

with zero dollars zero it might have been forty

9:13

dollars of my own money that sort of thing so

9:20

you know it can it can happen well.

9:23

I think that says a lot about you because

9:23

i'm ready to send you money and i don't even know

9:26

what you're doing today but you know it a lot of

9:26

that you know like people that i'm friends with

9:31

since college that i'm friends with on facebook

9:31

probably just roll their eyes if i'm asking for

9:35

money it's finding people that you know like the

9:35

idea and like what you're doing and and you're

9:41

right if you don't do anything nothing's going to

9:41

happen we always tell filmmakers just go out and

9:46

start shooting something start telling your story

9:46

see how it falls together but if you just sit in

9:51

a room and go i have this obstacle i have this

9:51

obstacle you're gonna end up getting nothing done.

9:56

Absolutely and i think it's too if you're

9:56

asking i have i have a lot of trouble asking for

10:01

money for myself but when i'm asking money for

10:01

other people i can't help but be enthusiastic

10:07

you know and and people get they do get caught up

10:07

in that and i'm i'm not doing it to play on people

10:12

i can't help myself i can't help but um

10:12

get excited about helping other people.

10:18

Now you uh did a project or

10:18

you have a book called magnificent kids

10:23

um tell me about that?

10:26

Ah so it really started i guess i was

10:26

teaching oh look i was i was living the rock star

10:34

life you know everything was all about Kerryn,

10:34

don't worry about that you know nobody else

10:38

my sister got cancer um and that sort of

10:38

turned my world upside down she was only 29

10:44

you know and um i sort of yeah it really rocked

10:44

me you know suddenly the world wasn't about me

10:51

i spent five years trying to save her and um i

10:51

failed and because i'm the oldest in the family

10:57

i saw that as a failure so i was kind of i just

10:57

looked for what am i going to do what am i going

11:01

to do and i quit my job everything else anyway

11:01

long story short i ended up in doing a disability

11:07

course so that i could uh work with people with

11:07

disabilities because it was just i thought life's

11:11

too short something i've always wanted to do long

11:11

story short again i ended up teaching it and so

11:16

i was teaching people to work in disability i

11:16

became an autism and behavior specialist and

11:21

people were saying to me all the time you know

11:21

fix these kids fix these kids i thought jesus

11:26

nothing wrong with their kids it's a system that

11:26

they're working within and um i decided i'm going

11:32

to write a book and this book is not about kids

11:32

with autism or behaviors or anything like that

11:36

but i just decided that we need to celebrate the

11:36

strengths in kids you know because adults are very

11:42

fixed in their ways when you start talking climate

11:42

change or anything like that to adults they're

11:46

kind of like yeah nah it'll be good you know i'll

11:46

be gone in 20 years i don't really care about that

11:51

the kids have got a much better grasp so it's

11:51

about 23 i call them superheroes around the world

11:57

that um have started world-changing projects

11:57

and that was in 2014 some of them are young

12:02

adults now but dead set they were changing the

12:02

world some of them were talking with governments

12:07

in vietnam when they were seven and eight years

12:07

old and protesting when they were 10 years old

12:13

you know and anyway that was that i didn't

12:13

write that till i was 50 and that was the

12:17

biggest kick in the bum i've ever got in my

12:17

life and i thought if these kids are doing this

12:22

and they're that young i'm 50 i've got to

12:22

get moving so and i haven't moved since then.

12:29

You know stories like that are inspiring

12:29

they also for people who have been doing this for

12:34

a long time they kind of drive you nuts because

12:34

like i'll make a video and put it on for for

12:39

marketing purposes and maybe 20 people will see

12:39

it then i see some pimply-faced kid lip-synched

12:45

to a song he gets a million people watching it

12:45

and he's on good morning america the next day

12:50

and it's that there's no rhyme or reason to

12:50

it it makes me want to pull my hair out and

12:55

scream because i don't know what i would have

12:55

to do to get that many people to see something.

13:00

But kids have a way of doing

13:00

things that grown-ups can't do don't they

13:05

they do yep they don't have all the young

13:05

filters that tell us i can't do that like

13:10

you know unless they've got crappy parents telling

13:10

them i can't you can't do it you know don't give

13:15

up don't do that but um kids don't see the same

13:15

they don't see the same barriers as we do they

13:21

don't have the same resistance as we do they just

13:21

think anything's possible and they go for it i

13:26

generally speaking i'm a real generalist so if i

13:29

now listen for any of your listeners if

13:29

they think that's not true of everyone

13:32

no of course it's not because i'm a generalist

13:32

i just love to think in rainbows and unicorns.

13:36

But that's a good thing i mean i wish i

13:36

was more like that i i've got to admit having been

13:41

in television news i'm a lot more cynical than

13:41

that i know a lot of people don't return my calls

13:46

but if a 10 year old kid called the president

13:46

the president might just call him or her back

13:52

and there's a different there's just a different

13:52

level of you know as i have a daughter who's in

13:57

college that does broadcasting i said you can call

13:57

just about anybody and try to get an interview

14:03

you're a college student they're going to love

14:03

that they're going to want to help you when i do

14:06

it it has a different i guess a different ring to

14:06

it where it's like okay what's the angle what are

14:12

they trying to sell me what are they after

14:12

and kids are a little more pure about that.

14:16

Yeah yep i agree but we've also had

14:16

those um people that have ruined it for us

14:22

you know that the people are spamming

14:22

all the time and it's kind of like

14:25

a genuine person tries to get through and it's

14:25

kind of like nah nah i've had enough of that.

14:30

I know i actually feel bad for any sales

14:30

people that try to call me now because i just

14:34

know everybody's trying to screw me and they're

14:34

just trying to um you know through that apple and

14:41

usaa insurance they're all calling me telling

14:41

me that there's a problem when i don't even do

14:45

business with some of them and unfortunately

14:45

there's people that fall for that stuff:

14:49

Yeah that's going on all around

14:49

the world i get maybe 20 texts a day

14:54

with that sort of stuff and emails and.

14:55

I don't like to answer my phone

14:55

anymore now i saw girls with hammers when

15:00

i first saw that i got a little afraid and

15:00

then i thought of the brilliance of that

15:06

because of what it's about tell us about it?

15:08

So it's we we don't do woodwork everybody

15:08

thinks that but it's metaphorical it's you know

15:14

smashing down the stereotypes building

15:14

stronger women that kind of thing and

15:19

um it's i i started that off because i thought

15:19

you know all the girls like uh let's say 15 year

15:24

old girls are sexualizing themselves and they're

15:24

learning to be submissive and that and i thought

15:29

no way they've gotta they're gonna know they can

15:29

ride motorbikes and they can be mechanics they

15:33

can do whatever the hell they want so i started

15:33

that thinking that um well i started by accident

15:39

everything i've started has been by accident i was

15:39

at a women's international international women's

15:43

day coaching on a table and there was a card i'll

15:43

read it i will launch a purposeful female focused

15:49

initiative so i got up on stage in front of 300

15:49

women and said yes this is what i'm going to do

15:54

and they're all cheering and i got down on stage

15:54

and thought ah damn now i've really got to do it

16:00

which is everything everything about

16:00

me is like oh damn why did i do that

16:05

but you know and then i thought well i've been

16:05

pondering on girls with hammers for a while and i

16:10

thought no now's the time to start my partner said

16:10

you better started i went to a couple of schools

16:14

and the girls were kind of like nah no thanks you

16:14

know you're an old fart and we'll keep doing the

16:21

things that we love doing we put on a conference

16:21

anyway and thinking that we might get some uh

16:27

school kids no it wasn't it was all women 45 to

16:27

65 basically um and they just wanted a day out

16:35

and they just wanted connection and they wanted

16:35

to drop the world for a day you know and just

16:41

and and feel that it was about them and so so

16:41

now we do conferences and we women say that

16:48

it's the best conference they've ever been to in

16:48

their life it's just fantastic and in the future

16:53

and when covert allows we're going to be

16:53

doing retreats so for personal growth retreats

16:58

and also for contribution retreats so going to

16:58

Cambodia building toilets for girls and that sort

17:03

of stuff so i can't wait for covert to just rack

17:03

off so we can get some amazing stuff happening.

17:11

Now there seems to be a

17:11

theme with everything you do um

17:15

you know helping people empowering people getting

17:15

people to do something have you always been this

17:21

positive because like i say i i don't i'm positive

17:21

about certain things but i'm also very cynical and

17:27

and i would say somewhat jaded you seem a lot

17:27

more uh i would say real but things that you

17:33

really believe in that you've been very very good

17:33

at getting them done you always been like that?

17:38

Yeah yeah i've always been yes i've

17:38

always been and nothing's going to get in my

17:43

way do you you know and that doesn't mean i don't

17:43

i don't encounter self-doubt and imposter syndra

17:48

i do all the time but um i think that you know

17:48

i was talking to somebody on a zoom the other

17:54

day she said you know you haven't stopped

17:54

smiling for for over an hour and a half and

18:00

and you know i i look back and i think

18:00

yeah that that's just who i am and i

18:06

i've always smiled i've always thought oh yeah

18:06

i can do it you know and i've always seen the

18:12

i don't know even when things are really terrible

18:12

i find i find the good you know and it doesn't

18:18

mean i don't find the bad as well but um i like

18:18

to make make light of stuff and i think that's

18:25

my personality type but um you know i can't

18:25

help it i can't help but feel the joy I can't.

18:31

Well thank you for not helping it because

18:31

i think it makes it it makes a huge difference and

18:36

you know with uh obviously covid has screwed up

18:36

a lot of things and and set things back so now

18:42

you're dealing with people online more probably

18:42

than than we would all like when you started your

18:47

podcast what was the build like for that i mean

18:47

for me it's like looking up a mountain and going

18:52

there's a there's five million people with a

18:52

podcast how do you find an audience and then get

18:57

that audience to keep coming back and listening to

18:57

you is there any any secret you can toss my way?

19:04

You know i used to do a

19:04

podcast with a guy a young boy from

19:09

Tasmania and and i was flying over there to do it

19:09

it just didn't work it was just logistics were too

19:14

hard and i thought one day i'm going to do my

19:14

own so i did in a couple of years but well at

19:18

the end of i was going to launch it for the very

19:18

start of 2020 but in two weeks prior to that my

19:24

sister had a a cardiac arrest and it was kind of

19:24

like she survived i i don't know how she survived

19:31

no brain damage she just i don't know how she

19:31

pulled through but anyway then i was kind of like

19:36

well i can't really focus on a podcast i've really

19:36

got to focus on family for a bit and then we had

19:41

the bush fires um in east gippsland where one more

19:41

than a billion animals were killed and it broke

19:47

me it actually knocked me off my perch that was

19:47

one thing that knocked me off my purch um and i

19:52

thought well i can't start it now and i i applied

19:52

for animal rescue places and they didn't take me

19:59

so i felt like that was a rejection i felt like

19:59

um i'm i felt hopeless helpless you know and um i

20:07

don't know and then covid hit and that was another

20:07

kick in the guts and then i just thought no

20:11

you know what i'm not going to do this i'm not

20:11

going to let all these things stop me because

20:16

if i feel hopeless there are going to be

20:16

people out there who feel like they can't

20:20

do something and i need to get on this on the

20:20

airwaves and i need to inspire people that

20:26

you know maybe i can't go save animals but

20:26

maybe someone else will because of my podcast so

20:32

i just put it out there and to be honest

20:32

i don't uh the marketing i don't i hardly

20:38

do anything i do a snippet and i put

20:38

it up and i say hey this is fantastic

20:44

i don't keep metrics i probably should people tell

20:44

me i'm crazy um i do it because i have a genuine

20:54

genuine desire to empower people inspire people

20:54

to believe that they can that and and if if

21:02

i change one person's life and they do

21:02

something because they've heard me say they can

21:08

then that person will go out and impact well

21:08

however many people maybe one maybe 10 maybe a

21:13

million you know but if i'm not doing that

21:13

and if i'm not inspiring and empowering

21:19

they're definitely well i'm not going to

21:19

say they're definitely not going to do it

21:23

but that's one extra thing that's going

21:23

to give them that push off the bench.

21:27

Oh absolutely and you know

21:27

when i when i say my background was

21:31

television news we were so consumed

21:31

with ratings and television still is

21:35

where they meter everybody that's

21:35

listening or watching and they can tell you

21:39

you're this or you're that based on who's watching

21:39

and what that audience is and with a podcast like

21:44

yours i mean it's just probably getting it

21:44

out there people just feel your enthusiasm

21:48

and they go i want to listen to what she has to

21:48

say because it sounds like a lot of good stuff.

21:52

Yeah but i think on on it i'm

21:52

always genuine i'm not trying to be

21:57

marketing i'm not trying to be promoting i'm just

21:57

really cheering for the person that's on there

22:03

and don't worry i go down rabbit burrows i

22:03

go on about people hurting animals and you

22:08

know and then i have to pull myself back saying

22:08

ah all right we're going down a rabbit burrow

22:12

let's come back but i just i just want to

22:12

share my truth you know and it's people.

22:18

I've worked with a lot of people i've worked with a lot of people that

22:20

are real good at promoting themselves and

22:25

when they introduce themselves to you they'll give

22:25

you their resume and in how they talk i've never

22:31

been one to really be able to to do that so you

22:31

kind of have to hit them other ways you have to

22:36

show them that you have a passion for what you do

22:36

and um it comes through i know when i was a guest

22:41

of yours that podcast hasn't come out yet but

22:41

it just your style just made me feel like hey

22:46

i'm actually talking to somebody who's listening

22:46

and this is important that that really helps.

22:50

Yeah i think that's critical

22:50

and it's not just on the podcast it's

22:55

critical in life you know you you when

22:55

you're talking with someone you invest

22:59

you invest in that moment you know and

22:59

it doesn't cost you anything it really

23:04

i know people need to feel seen and feel heard

23:04

feel valued we would have far less depression

23:12

and suicide and all sorts of things if people

23:12

felt like somebody saw them we really would.

23:17

Yeah that's a problem with a lot of

23:17

kids that's what i love about your superhero um

23:22

project you know with the kids and the

23:22

magnificent kids um i did a film years ago

23:27

where i interviewed kids who had tried to

23:27

commit suicide and god if you talk about

23:32

something that just tears you apart because

23:32

you're thinking this this precious young life

23:37

felt so bad about where they were in the

23:37

world that they were going to end their life

23:41

and so to hear kids that are inspirational

23:41

and and have other kids hopefully see that it

23:47

that's one of those things that really

23:47

could feed on itself and make a difference.

23:50

Yeah yeah and that was my hope that kids

23:50

would read it parents would read it and teachers

23:56

would read it and they would start focusing

23:56

on what's good about that kid you know and

24:00

and and school's terrible school only measures

24:00

one linear set of metrics to you know but

24:06

they're kids in there that are brilliant and

24:06

aren't brilliant at communication brilliant at

24:11

you know music and brilliant

24:11

at other things that have got

24:15

it's it's a medium to get to people to make

24:15

people feel great and make them feel great and

24:20

we've got to promote that we have to focus on what

24:20

they're good at and what they love we do really.

24:26

In a lot of those instances where

24:26

they don't do well do you think you it's

24:29

it's fair to blame the parents i mean my

24:29

film licensed to parent talked about just

24:35

there's a lot of people that probably shouldn't

24:35

be parents that are there's a lot of people that

24:39

try really hard but maybe they're doing the wrong

24:39

things we don't give enough support for parents.

24:45

I don't know i don't know if i want to

24:45

blame anybody in particular i think we i think

24:49

our system you know that worldwide like there are

24:49

some countries that are doing it fantastic i think

24:55

Iceland don't send kids to school till they're

24:55

eight and they only go for a few hours a day and

25:00

they've got a really great i think it's Iceland or

25:00

Greenland but they've got um hardly any divorces

25:06

like they've really built on relationships i think

25:06

that our system sucks it it's about competition

25:12

it's about you're no good if you didn't get an a

25:12

you know you're no good and they and you you're

25:18

just made to feel like crap and if you're made to

25:18

feel like crap you're not gonna try about anything

25:22

you're gonna hurt you're gonna be in pain you're

25:22

gonna take it out on other people you become a

25:26

parent you you know you you you take out your

25:26

pain on your kids and i just think man if we

25:32

could have a system in the world where we allowed

25:32

people to flourish according to their strengths

25:39

i i don't think we would have as many bad parents

25:39

because i think that you as a parent you only

25:46

do as good as you know how to do you know you

25:46

know or you or it comes from your your terrible

25:53

terrible feeling of low self-esteem and you just

25:53

want to take it out on other people and hurt

25:59

i'm not saying there's not bad people i know

25:59

there's some really bad people who hurt kids but

26:05

yeah i just think you've to be hurting kids or to

26:05

not be you've got to be feeling crappy yourself

26:12

there's got to be something in there that's

26:12

just you know i don't like me very much and

26:18

i don't know maybe i'm doing

26:18

rainbows and unicorns again but...

26:22

It's okay to do that when it involves kids

26:22

because it's it they're tough and you know you i

26:28

read this article the other day just about things

26:28

we say to our kids that we're not even aware of

26:33

that how and how they hear it and i know

26:33

i'm guilty of that a lot because sometimes

26:39

kids will do things to drive you crazy and

26:39

they'll test you and it's not always easy to

26:43

have the right response for it you know when

26:43

i see people that appear to have perfect kids

26:50

i always go gosh how did that how

26:50

did they get so lucky and then i'm

26:53

going well maybe they have better parents

26:53

maybe they're better parents i don't know.

26:55

No maybe the kids are

26:55

just not telling the truth because

26:59

i know we've got two teenagers and

26:59

they're my step kids so they're not mine

27:03

and you know i'm not perfect either because you

27:03

know i i've come from well living on my own and i

27:08

had everything the way i wanted to you know and

27:08

then what one our girl she's so freaking noisy

27:14

she gets in the kitchen she drops things and

27:14

bangs things and i'm like stop it you know so

27:18

i'm not perfect either and it's um but then

27:18

she's they've got friends that everyone says oh

27:24

they're so perfect and then we find out they're

27:24

sneaking out at night you know and all sorts of

27:28

stuff so i don't know about these perfect kids

27:28

i don't think any kid's perfect but I think...

27:33

Parenting parenting is

27:33

the toughest job in the world.

27:35

It is step parenting is tougher.

27:39

It is because you're automatically in a in

27:39

a tough position there where they're not going to

27:45

look at you the same way and it's a respect that

27:45

has to be earned over time i know friends of mine

27:50

that had uh step parents growing up say often

27:50

until they were grown-ups they didn't appreciate

27:55

what they put that parent through

27:55

and how great they really were

28:00

for them and they didn't

28:00

appreciate it as a youngster.

28:02

Yeah yeah i can see that yeah.

28:05

So you'll get appreciated

28:05

it'll come back to you.

28:07

Yeah they already do they already do

28:07

because i've put them through a few tough times

28:12

but um i think i can't wait till they're

28:12

adults they say god you're awesome Kerryn.

28:17

Yeah because that's when you can

28:17

start having more fun with them in terms of

28:22

like i know some people that want to be

28:22

friends with their kids it's like you're

28:25

not their friend you can't be their friend

28:25

because you have to do tough things and make

28:28

tough decisions but once your kids are older i

28:28

have uh sons and a daughter that are in their 20s

28:34

and we can have a different

28:34

kind of relationship now where

28:37

it's not the authoritarian versus the

28:37

child you know it's grown up to grown up.

28:43

Yeah i think our role as parents

28:43

is to um create to grow develop whatever

28:50

functional adults you know because at the end

28:50

of the day they're i don't mean take away their

28:54

childhood that's not what i mean but you have

28:54

them have fun while they're kids but at the end

28:58

of the day they're going to be adults and do you

28:58

want them to be defaulting back to things that we

29:05

you know encouraged that are not going to

29:05

help them when they're adults you know like

29:09

i'm not going to school today because i feel sick

29:09

okay stay home well that's not going to translate

29:14

in the workplace at all you know that's not going

29:14

to work so it's kind of been a tough love well

29:19

maybe go to school see how you

29:19

feel and then we'll work it out.

29:22

Well i've wasted a lot of good lectures

29:24

and speeches i'm hoping to

29:24

come back around because

29:28

i think they've gone in one ear and

29:28

out the other if you're not so if if

29:34

because you've done so many things that that

29:34

literally if you want to talk about moving the

29:38

world you certainly have a list of them what's

29:38

the advice you have for somebody out there we've

29:43

kind of touched on it but if you had to to dumb

29:43

it down for people what would you say is the

29:49

the key to getting out there and moving the world.

29:53

Look i would say if you're really

29:53

passionate about something if something keeps

29:56

coming up for you you know you keep saying oh one

29:56

day i'd love to one day i'd love to odd or there's

30:02

an issue that really pulls at your heart in a good

30:02

way or a bad way just do something start talking

30:09

about it even if it's just start talking about it

30:09

so i'd love to do something or do something small

30:14

like i don't know like you know grab backpacks

30:14

and fill them up for homeless kids if that's

30:19

your thing oh these poor kids in foster care

30:19

you know they're being moved from home to home

30:23

they don't even have a teddy well start a start

30:23

something that provides all the kids with teddies

30:28

um you know you want to do something with climate

30:28

change just get some start planting some lavender

30:33

get some bees or you you know what i mean like you

30:33

can do so much and the problem is everyone wants

30:39

to save the world okay here i go again everyone

30:39

not everyone but we want to save the world and

30:44

we do this whole um i i feel defeated because i'm

30:44

not i'm only one person i'm too small i can't make

30:51

a difference but i always keep saying to people

30:51

now focus on your piece of the jigsaw puzzle you

30:57

know you only need to focus on your bit and

30:57

get your bit right and i don't mean perfect

31:02

just right you know just put some gusto into it

31:02

put your piece in and if we all put in our piece

31:08

we're gonna have a much better world but at the

31:08

end of the day i say get started and i don't care

31:14

even if it's just writing it down on a bit of

31:14

paper and putting it on your wall get started.

31:17

And then what would you do how do you

31:17

gauge success just take it in baby steps you can't

31:23

you can't say i didn't do everything you

31:23

kind of have to focus on what you've done

31:28

and and and focus on on what's

31:28

good about that don't you.

31:30

Yeah 100 percent, i think you know

31:30

one of the things is we talk about confidence

31:35

i don't have the confidence to do it you know

31:35

and when i get the confidence i'm going to do it

31:40

but every little success you have builds

31:40

confidence do you know like oh i was successful

31:45

oh i did that i made that phone call i always

31:45

talk about 20 seconds of courage and i already

31:50

i think that courage comes before confidence

31:50

if imagine what you can do with 20 seconds of

31:55

courage oh i really need to ring that person i'm

31:55

so damn scared damn it i'm gonna dial that number

32:00

and do it 20 seconds and you're talking to them

32:00

when after you've done that you know the success

32:05

is not in whether they agreed or not the success

32:05

is i got over that line i got over that hurdle

32:11

and now i'm more confident to do the next thing

32:11

and the next thing and the next thing and you

32:15

know that just builds and builds and builds and

32:15

before you know it you've got this whole series

32:19

of successes and successes like i said they're not

32:19

about whether you win or lose success is about did

32:26

i do that thing and did i beat my own benchmark

32:26

you know did i get over that line that was beating

32:32

me and one thing on that i just want to talk about

32:32

failure is i think failure is fantastic and we

32:38

need to become friends with it because failure is

32:38

feedback and rejection is redirection now we can

32:44

keep a focus on those two things you know we're

32:44

we're we're set and every no is one step closer

32:51

to a yes i know listen to me i've got this whole

32:51

plethora of little sayings i absolutely love them.

32:57

Yeah i have a much harder

32:57

time taking no than than you do you

33:02

know interestingly when you're evaluating

33:02

something too i had a boss tell me years ago

33:07

focus on the things that are positive first

33:07

don't come out of the box going oh i did this

33:11

wrong i did that wrong this was bad because

33:11

then it kind of brings the whole idea down

33:16

but if you can focus on hey this was really good

33:16

and then after you've talked about the things you

33:21

did well then you can analyze the things you can

33:21

do better but not to highlight them as failures.

33:26

No absolutely and i just a very quick

33:26

story when i started one planet classrooms before

33:31

i said sewing machines i couldn't even remember

33:31

but i actually started that as a skype project and

33:35

i wanted to um help people in Africa classrooms

33:35

in Africa skype with classrooms in Australia

33:41

i completely buggered it up it was just an

33:41

absolute disaster trying to get laptops to Uganda

33:47

and secondly they were the kids in Africa were in

33:47

bed when the kids in Australia were in school so

33:53

it was never going to work thirdly i sent laptops

33:53

to a country where 95 percent of them don't even

33:59

have power so it was a complete disaster but

33:59

i did it anyway but i did you know and as i

34:04

realized this isn't going to work i'd learned um

34:04

from talking to all the school teachers that all

34:09

these kids were dying from drinking dirty water

34:09

and girls were being sexually assaulted you know

34:14

going to fetch the water and i and so my choice

34:14

was i could walk away and with my towel between my

34:20

legs and say i failed i'm absolutely crap at this

34:20

i should never set up another not-for-profit again

34:25

because i'm terrible or i can say you know what

34:25

girls are girls are being assaulted kids are dying

34:31

i've already got a foot in the door

34:31

over there i'm already talking to people

34:34

why don't i put water tanks in dude and then i

34:34

started doing that you know and and thousands

34:40

of lives have been changed be simply because

34:40

i failed so yeah i think failure is awesome.

34:45

It's amazing that's a that's

34:45

a great story um how can people get

34:50

a hold of you if somebody wants

34:50

to hear your podcast or just uh

34:55

see your website what's the best

34:55

way people can reach out to you?

34:57

Well i think the very first spot and

34:57

best buddies kerrynvaughn.com so k-e-r-r-y-n

35:05

v-a-u-g-h-a-n dot-com and i'm also on um instagram

35:05

under get off the bench and linkedin Kerryn Vaughn

35:15

and facebook get off the bench so i would love

35:15

love for people to connect absolutely love it.

35:22

You don't do tik tons do you?

35:24

No i don't detect no i've done it

35:24

i've done a couple of stupid things and p

35:29

i get i get thousands of likes but i really kill

35:29

myself doing it so i just try to stay off there.

35:34

Yeah my kids do that stuff and

35:34

it just drives me nuts the things they

35:38

put on snapchat and tick tock just want

35:38

to make me pull my hair out literally.

35:42

No no i'm not a nerd so don't worry.

35:45

Well i was going to say if you were

35:45

you probably are successful at it and you

35:49

you probably find a way to master that but

35:49

hey Kerryn thank you so much for coming on

35:54

thanks for having me on your podcast

35:54

and uh you know thank you for doing

35:58

everything that you do to move the world i

35:58

mean you really are an impressive person.

36:01

My absolute pleasure and

36:01

thank you so much for having me

36:05

just been wonderful talking to you wonderful.

36:08

I appreciate it so you know what a great

36:08

guest what a an inspirational story check out

36:14

Kerryn's website uh follow her listen to her

36:14

podcast i'm now going to become a regular listener

36:19

of her podcast especially when my episode comes

36:19

on but it's so inspirational to think about

36:25

that if we get off our tails and just focus and

36:25

try to do something who knows you're going to

36:31

end up moving the world um just even a fraction

36:31

of what Kerryn does you'll find yourself being

36:36

successful that's going to do it for us

36:36

this time we'll see you next time around.