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this when you Angie that Disclaimer.

4:45

Horror Hill is a horror anthology

4:47

podcast bringing you scary stories from

4:49

all corners of the internet and

4:51

beyond. As such,

4:53

certain stories include content that some

4:56

listeners might find offensive. Inner

4:59

discretion is advised. Hello

5:03

there, listeners, and welcome back

5:06

to Horror Hill. As

5:09

always, I'm your host, Eric

5:11

Peabody, and tonight's episode features

5:13

a pair of stories, both

5:15

of which focus on the

5:17

relationships we cultivate. To

5:20

begin, we'll be reading Kyle

5:22

Harrison's The Lover's Locker. In

5:25

this story, our protagonist Cole is

5:27

a young man with a hot

5:29

date. He's taking his

5:31

recent girlfriend Brandy to a local

5:34

escape room for a Valentine's centric

5:36

outing. The place in

5:38

question is The Lover's Locker, a

5:40

swanky new place that Cole's spending

5:43

a pretty penny on. However,

5:45

when Cole and Brandy arrive, things

5:47

immediately take a turn for the

5:49

bizarre, and now it's not a

5:51

question of how long it will

5:54

take them to escape, but

5:56

if they'll even be able to at all.

5:59

To close things out tonight,

6:01

we have Candy Boot by

6:03

Thomas O. Evan is

6:05

18 years old and has

6:08

a very special friend. Candy

6:10

Boot is small, prankish,

6:13

and magical. He comes

6:15

and goes as he pleases, can

6:18

only be seen by Evan, and

6:20

takes great delight in making his

6:22

life more difficult. Now,

6:24

as Evan is helping his mother

6:27

prepare for his brother's 10th birthday

6:29

party, Candy Boot has suddenly popped

6:31

back up, and he has some

6:33

very specific ideas about how a

6:36

proper birthday should go. You're

6:40

listening to the standard edition of

6:43

this program. If you'd like to

6:45

help support Horror Hill and also

6:47

remove these pesky ads, head to

6:49

chillingtalesfordarkknights.com and click patrons

6:52

in the upper menu to sign

6:54

up today. You'll get instant access

6:56

to hundreds of ad-free stories, and

6:58

we can scale back some of

7:00

our less savory

7:03

means of generating money for the

7:05

show. By the way,

7:07

you wouldn't happen to still have all

7:10

of your organs, would you? And

7:20

now, from author Kyle Harrison,

7:22

I give you The

7:24

Lover's Locker. Can

7:29

your love survive our lockup?

7:31

Provide an unforgettable Valentine's Day for

7:34

that special someone with an evening

7:36

at our exclusive escape room where

7:38

love is put to the ultimate

7:40

test. Call The Lover's

7:42

Locker today. The

7:45

place was brand new, so new that when

7:47

I went in to get their brochure, I

7:49

could still smell the fresh paint on the

7:51

walls. It screamed extravagance, the

7:54

kind of place that middle-class socialites

7:56

went to on a date night.

8:00

What was a boy from the Bronx doing

8:02

here with barely a dollar to spare? Two

8:05

words. Brandi Meyers.

8:08

We'd met only a month before on a

8:11

dating site and I wanted to make the

8:13

jump from swiped right to a relationship status

8:16

and this place felt like the right spot to

8:18

do that. When I

8:20

texted her just days before Valentine's and

8:22

asked her if she had plans, I

8:24

had actually already booked us a room.

8:27

According to the clerk, they were selling fast and I

8:29

didn't want to miss out. None

8:32

so far was her response so I

8:34

sent her the tickets and the next thing

8:36

I knew she was squealing in my ear

8:38

over the phone. Babe,

8:40

I can't believe you booked us that.

8:43

It looks so classy. You really shouldn't

8:45

have. Well I figure

8:47

maybe it'll finally give us a chance to really

8:49

get to know one another, make a decision about

8:52

our future, I told her. Is

8:54

it going to be just the two of us or

8:57

a group thing? How long will it last? I want

8:59

to have dinner first, is that okay? She

9:01

had a few other questions that I couldn't answer

9:04

but I figured that we would just wing it

9:06

and see where the night took us. My

9:09

reservation was at six that evening and

9:11

I got there a little early with

9:13

a bouquet of yellow roses, her favorite

9:15

color. She came dressed

9:17

in one of the most stunning, tight outfits

9:20

I've ever seen and I wrapped my arms

9:22

around her and leaned in for a kiss.

9:25

Babe, you know how I feel about

9:27

PDA. Come on, you're embarrassing

9:29

me. She giggled. She

9:32

smelled the roses and we held hands as

9:34

we went inside. A small group

9:36

of other couples were there, waiting eagerly to

9:39

be told where they would be spending their

9:41

evening. Cole and

9:43

Brandy? A bald man called

9:45

out from the front desk. I raised

9:47

my hand and we shuffled to the front of the line.

9:51

You requested the deluxe suite, right this

9:53

way. The man said, we

9:55

were led to a hallway on the left and

9:57

followed a dark red carpet toward a room. marked

10:00

DXL, where the man provided a

10:02

few rules. In

10:05

case of a fire, there's an alarm on the

10:07

left side of the room behind the painting, and

10:09

if at any point you wish for the experience

10:11

to stop, you simply need to profess your undying

10:14

love for one another and we'll open the back

10:16

door before the timer's through. Do you have any

10:18

questions? He asked. What

10:21

if we need to pee? I asked,

10:23

suddenly realizing that I should have done that

10:25

before we got here. Ah,

10:27

yes, of course. Let me show you

10:30

where the restroom's at. I'll

10:32

wait, Brandy told me. I

10:35

went and did my business and hurried back as

10:37

fast as I could, but my date

10:39

wasn't in sight. Figuring

10:41

she had already gone inside, I slipped out the

10:44

key the man had given me before

10:46

entering the room. I'm

10:49

not entirely sure what I was expecting

10:51

to see on the other side, but

10:54

it was certainly not this. The

10:57

room was covered in ultraviolet light,

10:59

making every surface seem far more

11:02

illuminated than normal. Rose

11:04

petals were scattered across a concrete

11:06

floor and long metallic chains draped

11:08

from the ceiling. The

11:11

chains meshed together to form a

11:13

heart, a box of some kind

11:15

wedged amid the bundle, and

11:17

what looked like rows of knitting needles poking

11:19

toward the center table from the bottom of

11:21

the box. On that

11:23

table there were several books, all of

11:26

which were opened, and some

11:28

had ripped pages, most of which appeared

11:30

to be arranged in an arrow diagram

11:32

that pointed toward the left wall. But

11:35

that part of the room seemed blank. Instead,

11:38

it was actually the opposite side

11:40

of the wall that truly captivated

11:42

my attention. Rows

11:44

of one-way glass were lined up

11:46

that reflected everything across the room.

11:50

There was one distinction on the other

11:53

side of the glass, and it made

11:55

me gasp in shock as I realized

11:57

Brandi was lying on the ground. covered

12:00

with blood and petals. Immediately,

12:04

I ran to the mirror, trying to bang on

12:06

the glass and see if I could get her

12:08

attention. Yet, instead,

12:11

the next noise I heard left me in

12:13

a panic. It was

12:15

the sound of the door locking. Then,

12:18

a voice came over the

12:20

sound system. Welcome,

12:22

esteemed guests, to our deluxe

12:24

suite! Immediately, I

12:27

started calling for help. My

12:29

girlfriend's injured! Get 911! I

12:32

shouted as I tried to dial myself,

12:34

only to soon find that cell phone

12:37

reception was blocked. You'll

12:39

find that we have taken the steps

12:41

necessary to provide you the most immersive

12:44

experience possible connected to your personal love

12:46

story. The voice droned on

12:48

as I scrambled to find the picture

12:50

that the man had said was an

12:52

emergency release. Yet, there

12:54

was nothing, and the door

12:57

itself had seemingly disappeared into the wall,

12:59

as if hidden by another trigger. I

13:02

was locked in, and Brandy was

13:04

either dead or about to die.

13:08

If you can unlock the mysteries of each

13:10

other's heart, you can make it out a

13:12

better person, and a better lover.

13:15

But if not, you may discover that

13:17

love itself may be that which tears

13:20

you apart. The recording

13:22

concluded. I

13:24

got down on my knees and tried

13:26

again to get her attention and see

13:28

if she was responsive, slamming my fist

13:30

against the thick glass in frustration. I

13:33

glanced up at the ceiling and realized that

13:35

one of the chandeliers above the chains looked

13:37

like it was a security camera, and I

13:39

shouted, Is this your idea

13:41

of a sick joke, man? My girlfriend's

13:44

in need of medical attention! There

13:47

wasn't a response. I

13:49

went over to the table and tried to

13:52

flip it in frustration, soon discovering it was

13:54

bolted to the floor. And

13:56

then, I felt something taped to

13:58

the bottom. It felt like

14:00

some kind of tool. Crouching

14:03

down, I realized that it was a

14:05

magnifying glass, and I quickly removed its

14:07

tape before staring at the mix of

14:09

papers on the table. As

14:12

I looked through the magnifier, I realized

14:14

that some of the words on the

14:16

papers were colored differently. I

14:18

started to piece them together and try to

14:20

form a secret message. This

14:26

episode of Horror Hill is proudly brought to you

14:28

by Fium. Taking

14:31

a quick break here to remind you about this

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Calm. That's A-N-G-I, or

16:58

download the app today. I felt like

17:00

it was taking hours as I looked

17:02

across the glass to where Brandy was

17:04

laying. I had no way

17:06

of being sure she was alright, but I

17:09

knew time was of the essence. It

17:11

felt like I was racking my brain trying to

17:13

figure out the scrambled message. Then

17:17

I heard the strangest noise coming from the

17:19

other side of the glass. It

17:22

sounded like tapping. I

17:24

stopped what I was doing and went up to it,

17:27

trying to pay attention to a pattern. Was

17:29

it Morse Code? I

17:31

tried my hardest to pay attention, but I

17:34

honestly didn't know a thing about it. Even

17:37

as it went silent, I suddenly realized that

17:39

this could be a vital clue that I

17:41

had just missed. Was

17:43

Brandy going to be in mortal danger

17:46

all because I couldn't solve these puzzles?

17:49

I felt trapped, both

17:51

literally and figuratively, and

17:54

in frustration, I went back to the books.

17:57

Grabbing the first one off the table, I chucked

17:59

it against the wall. wall. It

18:01

fell to the floor, and a page stuck

18:03

to the wall. To my

18:05

surprise, it was a cipher. I

18:08

grabbed it and studied the other pages again,

18:10

realizing I could use it to unscramble the

18:13

code. S-A-V-E

18:18

was one word. Panic set

18:20

in as I tried to understand the rest. Save

18:24

her and save yourself,

18:27

it read. Did that

18:29

mean Brandy was still alive? And

18:31

did it mean that I was in danger too? A

18:35

moment later, the tapping returned, and

18:37

I realized I might be able to figure out

18:39

what that meant as well with the cipher. It

18:42

was a stretch, but maybe the two

18:45

were connected. As

18:47

it finished, I managed to write down the

18:49

one word I was sure that had been

18:51

sent. Key. There

18:54

was a physical key somewhere in

18:56

the room. Maybe the way out

18:58

of here, or something else. The

19:01

question was where. I

19:04

got down on the cold floor and pushed

19:06

petals out of the way, trying to see

19:08

if maybe the object was hidden somewhere. There

19:11

were literally thousands of them covering

19:13

almost every inch of space in

19:15

the tiny room, but I

19:17

kept sweeping them aside. Soft

19:20

music began to play as I pushed

19:22

more petals out of the way, and

19:25

I froze when I recognized the

19:27

song. It was something that

19:29

Brandy and I had loved on the radio only

19:31

a week or so before. How

19:34

the hell did they know that? As

19:37

the music kept playing and I pushed more

19:40

petals out of the way, it

19:42

began to get more and more distorted,

19:44

until at last it was repetitively playing

19:46

the same part of the song over

19:48

and over. Maybe

19:51

it was another clue. I

19:53

listened to the lyrics. Never

19:55

hit so hard in love.

19:58

Wrecking Ball by my life.

20:00

Osiris. Immediately

20:02

I reached for the chains, tugging on

20:04

each of them to see if one

20:06

of them might collapse. The fourth one

20:08

did, and at the end

20:11

was, in fact, a small key

20:13

connected directly to the main chain.

20:16

The box, I realized

20:18

as I looked up at the intricacies of

20:21

the hidden puzzle. What

20:23

else about this room was part of the game? Was

20:26

this really just a test and none of

20:28

it real? I

20:30

heard over the intercom Brandy beginning

20:33

to gasp for breath, and

20:35

I saw through the mirror she was beginning to

20:37

convulse from the shock. Hey,

20:40

hey, I'm right here! I'll help

20:42

you! Just hold on! I

20:45

shouted as I tried to get the key loose from

20:47

the chain. Instead, I

20:49

realized I would have to carefully pull

20:51

the chain toward the box, but

20:54

it still wouldn't reach. The

20:56

only way would be to dislodge

20:58

the box from the needles, I

21:00

realized. Wrapping my

21:02

hands with the ripped up paper to protect

21:05

myself, I began to push at the needles

21:07

to reach the sides of the box. Even

21:10

with the added layers of paper, it

21:13

felt like sharp cuts directly against my

21:15

wrist and it took all of my

21:18

power to not stop. Brandy's

21:21

gasps were the only thing keeping me

21:23

going. I knew that it was

21:25

my fault she was in this mess to begin with,

21:27

and I could hear her now begging for my

21:30

help. Cole,

21:32

pull the alarm! Get us

21:34

out of here! She demanded

21:36

in desperation. I

21:38

don't know where it is! There's no portrait

21:40

on my side! I yelled

21:42

back as I finally found the strength

21:44

to push the needles deep into my

21:46

skin and grab the box.

21:50

It tugged out rather easily to my

21:52

surprise, and I managed to unlock it

21:54

only mere seconds later. I

21:56

was expecting something inside to help us out

21:59

of this hell. But

22:01

instead, as I opened the box,

22:04

the lights went completely out,

22:06

preventing me from even seeing

22:08

inside it. The

22:10

sound was cancelled too, and I couldn't

22:12

hear anything from her side as I

22:14

scrambled to find my phone. Surely

22:17

it was somewhere on the table? I

22:20

fumbled down on the ground and blindly

22:22

began to search. Then

22:25

I heard a roaring noise from below

22:27

the table, what sounded like

22:29

a growing furnace. A

22:32

song by Johnny Cash filled the

22:34

intercom as I felt warmth beneath

22:36

my feet and panic set

22:38

in again. Were

22:40

they really going to burn us alive

22:43

in here? Cole?

22:46

Cole! I can't move! Help

22:48

me! I heard Brandy scream

22:50

over the song. I used

22:52

the glow from the fire to make my way to

22:54

the mirror and bang on the glass. I'm

22:57

trying, babe! Just hold on! The

23:01

flames were shooting up and melting

23:03

the table from underneath, causing my

23:05

makeshift footstool to reach the ceiling

23:07

to collapse, and the rose petals

23:09

were acting as an extra flammable

23:12

material for the growing blaze I

23:14

realized as I demanded to get let

23:17

out. But of course,

23:19

there was no response. Brandy,

23:23

I'm sorry about all of this. I

23:26

love you. I admitted to her.

23:29

Don't you fucking dare give up! I

23:32

want to fucking live! She

23:34

shouted with a whimper. I

23:37

stood up, braving the inferno and reaching

23:39

for the box to try and grab

23:41

whatever was inside. Photographs?

23:45

Of the two of us? Driving

23:48

around and making out, trying to

23:51

just laugh. Had

23:53

we been stalked by this business? What

23:56

was all of this? Some

23:59

of the photos showed either one or

24:01

the other marked with black permanent marker,

24:04

and then at the bottom, etched into the

24:06

box, was a warning. Save

24:09

yourself, or save her. I

24:13

had to make a choice. But

24:15

how was I going to save her? I

24:18

had nothing to give to her. Brandy,

24:21

I need you to get up. I

24:23

begged as I pushed my back against the

24:26

glass wall. She couldn't see

24:28

me, but I saw she was now scrambling

24:30

to find a way out of her own

24:32

prison. I don't

24:34

understand what's happening, Cole. What

24:36

is this? She whispered as I

24:39

saw water was beginning to pour in from

24:41

the ceiling on her side. Look,

24:44

I'm... I'm probably

24:47

not going to make it, okay?

24:50

I think I know what to do to make this thing stop.

24:53

And I'm really sorry. I

24:56

said as I covered my mouth, unable

24:58

to speak. I

25:01

ran toward the blank wall and started to

25:03

claw at it. Anything to

25:05

ruin this building. If they

25:07

wanted me dead, I was going to take

25:09

them down as much as possible. Instead,

25:12

as I ripped the wallpaper off,

25:15

I found what looked like a portrait. Of

25:18

myself. I pulled

25:20

the paper off more to reveal the rest

25:22

of the painting, stunned by the details of

25:24

my image. The

25:26

escape switch, I thought as I

25:29

pulled it off the wall and I

25:31

saw the way out was right in front of

25:33

me. Then the

25:36

lingering question hit me. If

25:38

I pulled it, did that

25:41

mean Brandy would die? A

25:44

message came over the intercom. Congratulations,

25:47

you found your one

25:49

true love, yourself. Use

25:52

the escape lever to end the simulation

25:54

and rediscover your life. It

25:56

said in a robotic voice. At

25:59

the same time, Brandi was desperate to stay

26:01

above water on the side of her prison,

26:04

and if I pulled it, I imagined

26:06

she would likely drown. There were

26:08

probably a dozen excuses I could

26:10

have used to save myself, to

26:12

let her go. I didn't really

26:14

know this girl, didn't know if

26:16

we were going to work out

26:19

or not. Heck, after

26:21

this hell, if I were her, I

26:23

would definitely dump me, I

26:25

thought sourly. But

26:27

I told myself I had to save her

26:30

instead. The

26:32

wall! Rip off the wallpaper! I

26:35

shouted to her as the flames licked against

26:37

my skin. She

26:39

heard me and didn't hesitate, jumping through

26:41

the rising water to scratch at the

26:44

different wallpaper. Love

26:46

is blind, and love cannot

26:48

exist without first there being

26:50

selfishness, the intercom announced

26:52

as Brandi gasped for air. You

26:56

can do it! Come on! I

26:58

shouted. I saw bits and pieces of

27:00

the portrait show up. Pull

27:02

the lever! I told

27:04

her desperately. Both of us

27:07

were moments away from death. She

27:09

turned toward me and demanded, you

27:12

do yours too! You're there too, right? I

27:16

felt a chill run down my spine

27:18

as I realized she was breaking the

27:20

escape room rules. They

27:22

said either one or the other.

27:24

We can't both go, I insisted.

27:28

Fuck it Cole! Fuck the rules!

27:31

Pull the damn lever on three!

27:33

She demanded. One,

27:36

two. The

27:41

next thing I knew, I was waking up

27:43

on the ground in a back alley. It

27:46

felt like I'd been hit by a freight train.

27:48

My clothes still smelled of fire, and

27:51

I knew that it had all been true. I

27:55

tried to call Brandi, but couldn't get through.

27:57

I stumbled out of the

27:59

alley and called again. cab, getting to her house

28:01

in about ten minutes. They had

28:03

dropped me off on the south side of town,

28:06

with little more than the clothes on my back.

28:09

I ran to her door and slammed my fist against

28:11

it. She had already made it

28:13

home, and looked just as shaken as

28:16

I did. Brandy, I…

28:19

I'm so sorry about all of

28:21

this, I stuttered. Her

28:25

glare told me that any chance I

28:27

had at a second date was gone.

28:30

I don't know what you did to provide

28:32

that place all the intimate details about my

28:35

life, but you are sick.

28:37

That place was a nightmare, Cole.

28:39

We almost died. I

28:42

didn't do anything. They must have been monitoring

28:44

us, I insisted. All

28:47

the more reason to not be together. I

28:50

can't live like that, she

28:52

argued. You have to

28:54

believe me that I didn't know this would

28:56

happen, I admitted. She

28:59

crossed her arms uncomfortably. There

29:02

was something that she wasn't telling me. When

29:05

I went in the room, I wasn't alone,

29:07

Cole. Not at first, she

29:10

explained. Someone

29:12

stabbed you, right? Did you see their face?

29:16

It… it was you, she

29:18

whispered. The air around

29:21

us felt colder, she explained. But

29:24

somehow, I knew it wasn't you. I

29:27

can't explain it, but I played along. This

29:30

other you gave me a warning about

29:33

the escape room. It's meant

29:35

to be a representation of how our relationship will

29:37

go, and… and if

29:40

that's true, I just

29:42

can't get hurt again, she

29:44

admitted. I don't

29:46

understand. What you're saying

29:48

isn't possible, I said, my throat

29:52

feeling dry. Is

29:54

anything we experienced tonight? She

29:56

snapped back. Just go home,

29:58

Cole. Leave me alone." I

30:02

tried to go back to the escape room

30:05

today to complain to the management and maybe

30:07

get some answers, but the

30:09

building was already being stripped apart. "...

30:12

moving on to the next town," one

30:14

worker explained, or more likely

30:16

covering their tracks, I thought.

30:20

I don't fully understand what we

30:22

experienced or what was real about

30:25

that hell. Was

30:27

the escape room an illusion or

30:29

a vision of my future with Brandy?

30:33

For now, I can only view her

30:35

from afar, wondering if the game of

30:38

love I played was worth it. Angie's

30:48

list is now Angie, and we've heard a

30:50

lot of theories about why. I thought it

30:52

was an eco move. For your words, less

30:54

paper. No, it was so you could

30:56

say it faster. No, it's

30:58

to be more iconic. Must be a

31:00

tech thing. But those aren't quite right.

31:02

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You can do this when you Angie that.

32:49

You've been listening to The Lover's

32:52

Locker by Kyle Harrison. And

32:56

now listeners from author Thomas

32:58

Oh, I present Candy

33:01

Boot. If

33:05

you ever asked Candy Boot to

33:07

describe himself, the first thing

33:09

he'd tell you is that he's devilishly

33:11

handsome with an excellent sense of humor.

33:14

He'd probably brag that he can speak every

33:16

language known to man. He

33:18

would add that he is polite,

33:21

forgiving, an overall great guy. If

33:24

you let him go long enough, I'm sure

33:26

he'd mention that he has friends all over

33:28

the world who he loves to spend time

33:30

with. If you asked

33:32

me to describe Candy Boot, it would be a

33:34

hell of a lot closer to the truth. I'd

33:38

tell you that he's about two

33:40

feet tall with a reddish mohawk,

33:42

sharp little teeth, and pointy talons.

33:45

He's definitely not handsome.

33:48

As for his sense of humor, some

33:50

people might find him funny, as

33:53

long as they're not the ones who are the butt

33:55

of his pranks. The boast

33:57

about speaking every language is most likely

33:59

true. though his politeness

34:01

exists only in spurts, and

34:04

the claim about having friends all over the

34:06

world? Well, he

34:08

certainly has acquaintances, but

34:11

I doubt that any of them would consider

34:13

him a friend. Candy

34:15

boot is an imp, a

34:18

sprite, or a gremlin. I

34:20

don't really know what his species is,

34:22

but what's certain is that he's a

34:24

magical prankster of the most vicious sort.

34:27

At best, he's a nuisance, and

34:30

at worst... well, you'll

34:33

see shortly. And

34:35

that leads to me, Evan. I'm

34:38

one of candy boots many worldwide

34:41

acquaintances. He tells me that

34:43

of all the people he stays with,

34:45

I'm his favorite. But I

34:47

suspect he says that to all of his friends.

34:51

His modus operandi is to jump from

34:53

location to location, usually staying for no

34:55

more than two weeks at a time

34:58

in any one spot. If

35:00

you're lucky, and if you catch him in

35:03

the right mood, he can actually be very

35:05

interesting and chatty. He's the reason

35:07

I can swear in 15 languages. I

35:11

didn't choose to be one of his acquaintances.

35:13

I want to make that much clear.

35:16

He just showed up one day, telling

35:18

me that I was to be congratulated

35:20

on becoming his newest friend. That

35:23

was 10 years ago, when I was 8.

35:26

It was terrifying the first time I saw

35:28

him, but I won't go too much into

35:30

that first meeting now. That

35:33

story is best saved for another time.

35:36

I don't know why he picked me to be one

35:39

of his hosts, and he never gives

35:41

me a fixed response when I ask him. Once,

35:43

he told me that it was because he heard

35:46

me playing Bloody Mary in the bathroom one day.

35:49

You called me, he

35:51

explained. I tried

35:53

to argue that he was neither Bloody

35:55

nor named Mary. He

35:57

just laughed. After

36:00

a while, his answers became more and

36:02

more ridiculous, so I stopped putting too

36:04

much thought into the reason for our

36:07

relationship. The only

36:09

thing that makes him somewhat tolerable is

36:11

the shortness of his visits. He

36:14

poofs in with a little cloud of

36:16

smoke, stays two weeks or less, and

36:19

then he's gone again off to other corners of

36:21

the world for months at a time. I

36:24

suppose there's some unfortunate kid in China

36:26

who has the same candy boot problem

36:28

that I have. I don't

36:31

know how many friends he has,

36:33

but I'm glad he spreads himself

36:35

around. By

36:37

the way, when he's here, he

36:39

only shows himself to me. When

36:42

I was younger, I had a hell of a

36:44

time trying to convince my mother that a little

36:46

imp had been spending the past few nights sleeping

36:49

on a pile of my dirty underwear. I

36:51

finally gave up on that since he can go

36:54

invisible at a moment's notice. In

36:56

the end, it was easier to simply

36:58

accept his presence and shut up. He

37:02

operates within some set of guidelines

37:04

that I don't completely understand, scoring

37:07

non-existent points when he pulls off

37:09

a successful prank. Ten

37:11

points to me, he

37:14

said after magically changing my

37:16

completed homework into a multi-page

37:18

love note to my

37:20

60-year-old teacher. I actually

37:22

turned it in, thinking it was still my

37:24

report on the Civil War. What

37:27

followed was probably the

37:29

most embarrassing parent-student-teacher conference

37:31

ever. Another

37:34

time, he woke me up by

37:36

giving me a decidedly non-magical atomic

37:38

wedgie. Five

37:41

points. He

37:43

huffed and puffed as he tried to pull

37:46

my underwear over the back of my head.

37:49

Five points

37:51

to me, he said

37:54

triumphantly as he finally succeeded.

37:57

For the most part, though, he just

37:59

skulks around. mumbling to himself and getting

38:02

into things. I try

38:04

to ignore him, but it's hard when you're

38:06

studying and you see him out of the

38:08

corner of your eye using your toothbrush to

38:10

style his nose hair. I

38:13

could go on and on about life with

38:15

Candy Boot, but it's easiest to just say

38:17

that you get used to having him around.

38:20

And, as I already alluded to,

38:23

sometimes he's not even that bad.

38:26

If you ask nicely, he'll tell you

38:28

all sorts of interesting stories about his

38:30

brothers. He has 50 of them. So,

38:34

that's how it is with

38:36

Candy Boot. Him popping in

38:38

unannounced and uninvited, playing practical

38:41

jokes, acting like a jackass,

38:43

and then leaving. Rinse,

38:45

repeat. If

38:47

you don't count Candy Boot,

38:49

and please don't, our

38:52

household consists of me, my mother,

38:54

and my little brother, Kyle. Around

38:57

this time last year, we were busy

38:59

planning a party for my brother's 10th

39:01

birthday. Candy Boot had

39:03

been out of the picture for several

39:05

months at that point, and I prayed

39:07

that he'd still be gone, at least

39:09

until the party passed. As

39:12

far as my little brother was concerned, I have

39:14

to say, the little guy had really earned

39:16

himself a big bash. For

39:19

a long time, he'd been a bit of a

39:21

pistol. It probably had something to do with my

39:23

dad leaving. However, he'd gotten

39:25

his grades up, and the teacher was no

39:28

longer sending home conduct reports, so my mom

39:30

and I wanted to reward him. The

39:33

party was going to be really

39:35

kickass, with tons of people, a

39:37

huge cake, a pinata, a bounce

39:39

castle, and pickles the clown. It

39:43

was the night before the party when

39:45

Candy Boot returned. I

39:47

have a sneaking suspicion that he knew about it

39:49

all along, but he acted as if he had

39:51

no clue what was going on. What's

39:55

this? He demanded in

39:57

his croaky voice only moments after magically

39:59

abusing the appearing right next to me.

40:02

I saw he was pointing at a paper mache

40:04

horse. "'Hello, Candy

40:06

Boot,' I said with

40:08

a sigh. It's a piñata. I

40:10

can't believe you don't know what it is." "'Say

40:14

exactamente, loke, seidiota,' came

40:16

the horse reply. "'Then

40:18

why did you ask me what—you know,

40:20

never mind.' Candy

40:23

Boot let out a cackle to let me know he was

40:26

pleased with himself. He opened the box

40:28

that held the cake. "'What flavor

40:30

is this?' he asked

40:33

as his dirty little talon skimmed some

40:35

frosting off the top. "'Get

40:37

away from that!' I shouted as

40:39

I shooed him away. He gave

40:41

an excited chuckle and jumped up from the

40:43

counter onto one of the rotating blades of

40:45

the ceiling fan. "'You

40:48

can't have any!' I

40:50

added as I closed the box back up.

40:53

Candy Boot slowly licked the frosting that was

40:56

still stuck to his talon. "'Sweet!'

41:00

he commented. "'We're going

41:02

to have a good time tomorrow.' "'Yes,

41:06

that's right,' I said. "'We.

41:10

As in me, my mom, my

41:12

brother, and all our guests. That

41:14

doesn't include you.' I

41:16

spoke as if I could actually control Candy

41:19

Boot. I was praying

41:21

that just once he'd

41:23

sensed that something was important to

41:25

me and just leave it alone."

41:29

Candy Boot didn't acknowledge his

41:31

uninvitation. "'It's

41:33

getting late,' he said. "'And

41:36

anyway, I just came from Sweden.

41:39

Jagdilbergunde bar hele dagen javelat

41:41

for.' He yawned,

41:44

exposing his dirty little teeth to

41:46

all the world, then clapped

41:48

his hands and disappeared in a cloud

41:50

of smoke. Moments later, I

41:52

could hear a tiny snore emanating from

41:54

my bedroom. I

41:57

checked one last time on all the supplies.

42:00

The decorations were already hung up,

42:02

and they looked great. I

42:04

checked my email for the tenth time to

42:06

make sure the catering was confirmed for the

42:08

correct date. It was. I

42:11

walked into my bedroom, where I saw

42:14

a candy boot laying across my bed,

42:16

slowly humping my pillow in his sleep.

42:19

I shook my head and pulled a spare

42:21

blanket out of my closet. Then

42:24

I laid myself on the floor and

42:26

took way too long to fall asleep.

42:31

The next morning, I was woken by the

42:33

sounds of the household. Kyle

42:36

was talking excitedly, and my mother was

42:38

setting up tables and chairs. Candy

42:41

boot was nowhere to be found, though I

42:43

knew he had to be close. I

42:46

got dressed and joined my family as they set

42:48

up. We were expecting about

42:50

seventy guests, nearly all of Kyle's

42:52

classmates and a bunch of our

42:54

neighbors and friends. The

42:57

morning hours zipped by, and

42:59

soon people began arriving. Pickles,

43:02

the clowns, showed up and entertained the

43:04

kids with magic. The younger

43:06

crowd had fun in the bounce castle, while

43:08

the adults looked on in joy. It

43:11

seemed that everyone was having a great time. About

43:14

an hour into the party, candy

43:16

boot made his reappearance. I'd

43:19

spilled a little soda on my shirt and

43:21

stepped into my bedroom to change. How's

43:24

it going out there? The

43:26

gruff voice asked from behind me. I

43:29

didn't even bother to turn around. It's

43:32

going great. Let's keep it that way.

43:35

How old is this brother of yours?

43:38

I wanted to ignore him, but I

43:41

knew it was never wise to ignore

43:43

the ignoble imp. He's

43:45

turning ten today. Mmmmm.

43:49

Candy boot stroked the few small beard hairs

43:51

that drooped from his chin. I

43:54

never really liked him. Kyle,

43:56

you don't even know him. I

43:59

know him well. Well enough," he shot

44:01

back. "'He's a bully. He

44:04

hurts the other kids.'" He

44:07

was acting out when my dad left, I

44:10

responded. "'But he's totally different now.

44:12

That's why we're doing this for him.'" I

44:15

could have said more, but I knew it

44:17

would be a waste of time to point

44:19

out the irony of Candy Boot being offended

44:21

by a bully. "'If you'll

44:23

excuse me, I need to get back out there,' I

44:26

said as I high stepped over Candy

44:28

Boot. "'It's my

44:30

birthday too, you know,' Candy

44:33

Boot said." I

44:35

paused before reaching the door. "'I

44:37

didn't realize you had an actual

44:39

birth. I thought you just... spawned

44:42

out of a magical pile of garbage

44:45

somewhere.' It was a

44:47

risky move to insult him, but the words

44:49

felt good spilling from my mouth. "'My

44:52

mother would be very unhappy to

44:54

hear you say that. But

44:56

I'm sure she'd forgive you if you threw

44:59

me a party too.'" "'Okay,'

45:03

I paused, exasperated. "'I'll

45:06

do something for you tomorrow.' "'It's

45:08

not my birthday tomorrow.'

45:11

"'It's probably not even really your birthday

45:14

today,' I argued. "'Yes,

45:17

it is. And

45:19

if that bully is getting a party, I

45:22

want one too. Right now.'"

45:26

"'You want me to throw a party in

45:28

this bedroom with just you and me while

45:30

the real party's going on out there?'" Candy

45:34

Boot nodded his pointy, gray head

45:36

up and down. "'I

45:39

can't do that, Candy Boot. I have to help

45:41

my mom run things out there.' I

45:43

opened the door and took a step into the hallway.

45:46

"'Don't leave,'

45:49

he said slowly. I

45:51

took another step out the door, determined

45:54

not to be pushed around." His

45:56

voice lowered. "'Don't you

45:58

think you can do this?' insult my

46:01

mother and then simply

46:03

walk away. You'll regret

46:05

it." "'I'm not

46:07

going to let you push me around,' I

46:10

said. Standing tall, I walked

46:12

out of the room, proud of

46:14

my own determination. But

46:17

then, before I could close the door behind

46:19

me, I heard his

46:21

little bony hands clap together

46:23

two times. Magic.

46:26

He'd just done something magical. I

46:30

stepped back inside and closed the door,

46:32

expecting to find Candy Boot grinning and

46:34

laughing to himself at whatever prank he

46:36

just pulled. What I

46:39

saw was much more concerning. Candy

46:42

Boot looked completely spent.

46:44

Instead of his healthy gray patina,

46:47

his skin was almost completely white.

46:50

His eyes drooped, he was breathing

46:52

heavily, and his dog-like ears pointed

46:54

toward the ground. What

46:57

you have to know about Candy Boot

46:59

is that whenever he performs magic, it

47:01

always takes a physical toll on him.

47:04

The greater the magic, the bigger the

47:06

toll. I'd never

47:08

seen him look so bad. Whatever

47:11

he had just done, it was something

47:13

big. I stomped over

47:15

to him. What did you just

47:17

do? I demanded. A

47:20

chuckle, interrupted by a cough, was

47:22

his only response. In

47:25

anger, I grabbed his bony little arm and

47:27

pulled him to me. Tell me!

47:30

Despite his drained state, he

47:32

responded in inhumanly quick fashion.

47:35

His free arm lashed out and slashed

47:38

me directly below my elbow, his claws

47:40

tearing deeply into my skin. I

47:43

released my grip on him and screamed out in

47:45

pain. Candy Boot's

47:47

face was in a snarl. I

47:49

must have had a look of absolute fear on

47:52

my own face. His

47:54

eyes shifted to my bleeding

47:56

arm and his snarl slowly

47:58

dissipated. Blood ran down. down

48:00

to my fingers and dripped onto the carpet.

48:03

I could only stare at him in shock.

48:06

Nothing like that had ever happened between the

48:08

two of us. Without

48:10

a word, he clapped his hands together

48:12

twice and I felt a jolt go

48:14

through my injured arm. When

48:17

I looked down, I saw that the

48:19

bleeding had stopped and scabs had begun

48:21

to form over the cuts. It

48:24

wasn't completely healed, but it was no

48:26

longer a serious injury. At

48:29

that point, Candy Boot was completely

48:31

wiped out. He fell over

48:34

backwards and landed with a dusty little

48:36

thud. Then, while making

48:38

little grunting noises, he

48:41

rolled over and crawled to my closet. The

48:43

door was ajar and with the last bit

48:45

of energy he pulled it open and climbed

48:48

up a pile of my dirty laundry. Spare

48:51

of impacciano glin setti, he

48:54

said to me with the last of his wakefulness.

48:57

It's going to be sweet. One

49:00

thousand points to Candy Boot.

49:04

He gave a weak chuckle as he shaped

49:06

a pair of my underwear into a tiny

49:08

pillow. Then, he

49:10

passed out. His little snores

49:12

echoed around my room. I

49:15

took off my t-shirt and put on a long

49:18

sleeve shirt in its place. The

49:20

sounds coming from the rest of the house indicated

49:22

that everyone was still having a good time. Candy

49:25

Boot's prank, whatever it was,

49:27

hadn't been unleashed yet. I

49:30

stepped out into the hallway and looked around.

49:33

There was Aunt Chloe with a soda in

49:35

her hand. The neighbors were

49:37

eating some pizza. Children were running

49:39

around laughing. Pickles the clown

49:42

was juggling some balls for the amusement

49:44

of the smaller kids. Nothing

49:46

seemed amiss. I

49:49

cautiously walked around, examining every

49:51

corner and nook. I

49:53

thought back to the last thing he said to

49:56

me. It's going to

49:58

be sweet. It was

50:00

a clue. Sweet. Like

50:04

cake, maybe. I

50:06

turned around and looked at the birthday cake. It

50:09

was a huge single layer sheet, big enough

50:11

so that everyone could have a piece. I

50:14

have to say, it was a

50:16

visual masterpiece of colorful icing and

50:18

decoration. As far as

50:20

I could tell, it was untouched, but

50:23

Candy Boots Magic wouldn't have left

50:25

any outward signs. I

50:27

ran through scenarios in my mind,

50:29

envisioning that everyone who ate it would

50:31

be cursed immediately with explosive diarrhea, which

50:33

is exactly the kind of thing that

50:36

Candy Boot would find funny. There

50:39

wasn't really time to think of a good plan,

50:41

but I knew I had to get rid of

50:43

it before it came time to serve it. Hey,

50:46

Mom! I shouted across the

50:48

table. Don't you think we should have

50:50

the cake on the other table? I pointed

50:52

over to the card table that had been set up in

50:54

the living room. My

50:56

mother looked confused. What?

50:59

No, leave it where it is. No,

51:02

Mom, I think more people can enjoy looking at it if

51:04

I move it over there. With

51:06

some effort, I picked up the cake and

51:09

started walking. My mom's exasperated

51:11

voice carried over the sounds of the

51:13

party. Just, just

51:15

leave it. Be careful, be

51:17

careful! As my

51:20

mom spoke her final warning, I feigned

51:22

a stumble and dropped the cake to

51:24

the floor. For good measure,

51:26

I fell forward and landed on top of

51:28

it. The

51:31

party became eerily silent.

51:34

70 people, all looking at

51:36

me with their jaws agape. Heck,

51:39

even Pickles looked upset, which, if

51:42

you can imagine, was especially difficult

51:44

with his painted on smile. I

51:47

rolled myself off of the cake, further

51:49

flattening it and removing any hope that

51:51

it could be salvaged. Tiny

51:54

bits of frosting had made their way into

51:56

my mouth. They tasted delicious,

51:58

but I had no choice. but

52:00

to spit them out. "'Evan!'

52:03

my mom yelled as she stormed up to me.

52:06

"'What were you thinking?' I

52:09

apologized and then apologized four

52:11

more times, but my mom

52:13

barely paid attention. "'Kyle,

52:16

go grab some cleaning supplies,' she

52:18

said to my brother as she pointed under the kitchen

52:21

sink. "'Chloe, can you help

52:23

me with this?' she asked my

52:25

aunt. She turned to

52:27

the children, who had gathered around to witness

52:29

the idiot who had dropped the cake. "'Why

52:32

don't you kids go start the piñata? There's

52:34

still more pizza, everyone.' With

52:37

my mom taking charge, the party started

52:39

coming back to life. I

52:41

looked like a fool, but

52:43

secretly, I considered myself a hero.

52:46

My mother instructed me to go buy another

52:49

cake, which I readily agreed to. With

52:52

frosting and cake all over my

52:54

shirt, I returned to my bedroom

52:56

to change yet again. Candy-boot

52:59

was still passed out in the closet. I

53:02

thought about giving him a good swift kick,

53:04

but then I thought better of it. I

53:07

put on a clean shirt and returned to the

53:09

festivities, where my mom handed me some cash. "'Get

53:12

enough for everyone,' she said,

53:15

tersely. "'Don't take too long.' I

53:18

walked through the living room to where the last

53:20

few remnants of cake were being cleaned up by

53:22

a few of my relatives. The

53:24

cake, though smashed, didn't look as though

53:27

it had been affected by any magic.

53:30

My aunt Chloe got some frosting on

53:32

her fingers, and I watched

53:34

as she absent-mindedly licked it off.

53:37

It seemed to have no effect on

53:39

her, and I suddenly didn't feel very

53:41

confident that the cake was the center

53:43

of Candy-boot's plan. "'Sweet,'

53:46

I repeated to myself. What

53:49

else at the party was sweet? Everything

53:52

seemed to move in slow motion as

53:55

I looked around the room, taking in

53:57

all the sights. Then,

54:00

I could see a large space had been

54:02

cleared out. The pinata had

54:04

been strung up over one of the

54:06

exposed beams along the vaulted ceiling. My

54:09

Uncle Joe was manipulating it, moving it up

54:11

and down as a hapless small child took

54:13

a swing at it with a bat. The

54:17

child took one final swing before my

54:19

brother Kyle stepped up and took a

54:21

turn. He put the blindfold

54:23

on, but even from across the room I could

54:25

see he didn't really pull it all the way

54:27

over his eyes. As

54:30

my Uncle pulled on the rope to move it

54:33

up, I saw the

54:35

pinata momentarily bulge along its

54:37

midsection, as if something

54:39

inside of it was pushing out. I

54:43

screamed at Kyle to stop, but he

54:45

either didn't hear me or didn't care.

54:48

He stepped into his swing like he'd

54:50

been taught in Little League and

54:52

nailed that damn pinata square in

54:55

the middle. A large

54:57

crunching sound erupted as the paper

54:59

horse split open. Children,

55:02

with their greedy little hands stretched

55:04

out, pushed forward in anticipation of

55:06

the sweets about to pour forth.

55:10

At first, I couldn't tell what it

55:12

was that came spilling out of the

55:14

pinata. For a half

55:16

second, it looked like a single

55:18

black, pulsating blob that came falling

55:20

to the floor. But

55:23

as it descended, it began to spread

55:25

out, and its individual

55:27

elements became identifiable. Spiders,

55:31

cockroaches, centipedes,

55:35

all sorts of creepy things,

55:38

thousands of them. They

55:40

hit the ground and immediately spread out like

55:42

a ton of marbles rolling away from each

55:44

other. The children closest

55:46

to the scene saw exactly what was

55:49

happening, but as they tried

55:51

to escape, they were pushed even closer

55:53

by the clueless children behind them. This

55:56

continued for a few seconds, until

55:58

it became clear to everyone that they were in everyone

56:00

that there were no sweets to be had. Soon,

56:03

they all pushed back, trying to leave

56:05

the scrum that had formed around the

56:08

busted pinata. Screens

56:10

moved through the room as the bugs began

56:12

crawling up the legs of the partygoers. I

56:14

could hear my Uncle Joe cuss and yell out,

56:17

Oh my God! As he

56:19

fell down, several roaches crawled

56:22

over his face. The

56:24

chaos spread as the disgusting bugs and

56:27

panicked children fled from the den into

56:29

the other rooms of the house. Pickles,

56:32

the clown, tried to maintain a

56:34

sense of calmness. Slow

56:37

down, everyone, he said

56:40

in a surprisingly calm voice. The

56:43

kids paid no attention and trampled over him

56:45

in their haste to exit the house. All

56:48

I could see of him were his hands and

56:50

legs shooting into the air as the kids stepped

56:53

on his torso. A

56:55

handful of the partygoers rolled on the

56:57

ground in an attempt to squash the

56:59

bugs that had crawled into their clothing,

57:02

though this had the unintended consequence of

57:04

allowing even more bugs access to their

57:06

internal compartments. A teenage

57:08

girl tried to dive through a closed window

57:10

in an attempt to get away, but she

57:13

nearly knocked herself unconscious when the unyielding

57:15

window proved to be a hell of

57:18

a lot stronger than she anticipated. Eggs

57:21

overran her as she sprawled out on

57:23

the floor. People tripped,

57:25

fell, and pushed each other. I

57:28

somehow managed to avoid being knocked

57:30

down. Soon,

57:32

the house was empty of people,

57:34

with the exception of me, Pickles,

57:36

and a couple of others. Pickles

57:39

moaned as he rolled over from his back and got

57:41

onto his hands and knees. Somehow,

57:44

in the melee, he'd swallowed his

57:46

red foam nose, which he vomited

57:48

up with a retching sound as

57:50

bugs continued to run by him.

57:53

Outside, people were stripping their clothes off

57:56

and shaking out the bugs. The

58:00

sounds of the fallen were punctuated by the

58:02

hiss of a Madagascar cockroach that crawled up

58:04

on the table behind me. I

58:07

surveyed the scene, and as far

58:09

as I could tell, nobody was

58:11

seriously injured. People had

58:13

bumps, bruises, and cuts, things

58:16

that would heal in relatively quick fashion.

58:19

The psychological damages?

58:22

Those wouldn't heal for a long time,

58:24

if ever. From

58:27

my location, I could look down the hallway

58:29

to my bedroom. The

58:31

door opened slowly, and

58:33

I made eye contact with Candy Boot as

58:36

he poked his head out. He

58:38

gave a big smile as a

58:40

wallet-sized spider walked past him and

58:42

into my room. In

58:45

his left hand, he held the shirt I'd been wearing

58:47

when I fell on the cake. He

58:49

licked some frosting off of it, then he

58:51

raised it up and nodded to me as

58:53

if he was making a toast. I

58:57

nodded back to him, thoroughly

58:59

defeated. Happy birthday,

59:01

you little fucker, I thought.

59:05

Candy Boot dropped the shirt and made a

59:07

thumbs-up motion. Then he

59:09

clapped his hands together and disappeared, leaving

59:11

a little puff of smoke in his

59:13

wake. He

59:15

was gone, off to some

59:17

other part of the world to spread his

59:20

miserable little brand of humor. At

59:22

least his visit had been a short one. I

59:25

did a little dance step to avoid a potato bug

59:27

that had crawled up to me. As

59:30

I brought my heel down on its body,

59:32

I imagined that it was Candy Boot. The

59:35

crunching sound made me feel a little better.

59:38

With that, I went over and helped pickles

59:41

up from his hands and knees, and

59:43

together we went outside, away from

59:46

the mess that Candy Boot had

59:48

created. listening

1:00:00

to Candy Boot by Thomas

1:00:02

O. Nothing

1:00:06

like some bedlam at a family

1:00:08

birthday party. I'd be lying

1:00:11

if I said that it really requires

1:00:13

a magical imp to turn a family

1:00:15

event into chaos, but it certainly does

1:00:17

help. Still, I suppose

1:00:20

Candy Boot's better than that creepy

1:00:22

little fucker trying to steal Drew

1:00:24

Barrymore's breath and Cat's Eye. Am

1:00:27

I showing my age now, friends?

1:00:31

Thank you all for tuning in

1:00:33

tonight, and of course, extra thanks

1:00:35

go to Kyle Harrison and Thomas

1:00:37

O. for their literary contributions. As

1:00:40

always, I'll be back next week

1:00:43

for your regular dose of scary

1:00:45

stories. After all,

1:00:47

you need something to cool you down

1:00:49

during the summer, and a nice chill

1:00:51

up your spine should do the job

1:00:53

quite nicely. Until

1:00:56

then, my friends, stay

1:00:58

spooky. You've

1:01:02

been listening to the Horror Hill Podcast,

1:01:04

a production of Chilling Entertainment and the

1:01:06

creative team of Chilling Tales for Dark

1:01:09

Nights. Tonight's episode

1:01:11

was hosted and narrated by yours

1:01:13

truly, Eric Peabody. Original

1:01:16

music provided by Eric Peabody and

1:01:18

Nicky McSorley. Finalization

1:01:21

by Eric Peabody and Craig Groeschak.

1:01:24

Got a terrifying tale of your own that

1:01:26

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you up all night. If

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darkness is what you are after,

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listener, your search is over. Yet,

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Oh, it was so you could say

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