No matter your size, you can make it work for you.

By PolySwingerWife. Listen to the Podcast at How-to Sex.

We’re taking plenty of time for this issue, because it has a lot of myths, yet it impacts much of how we interact.

In the same way that busty women often carry themselves in a confident aura, and often intimidate other women, Some men have a confidence that is tied to their ‘package’. Men who don’t have super-sized packages, sometimes feel a significant lack of confidence.

Never mind that longer, thicker men are usually denied uncomfortable intercourse from many women. And they are almost always deprived of alternative sex act like fellatio and anal penetration.

Some men are also adverse to the attention they draw for their larger physiology; just as some women don’t like being stereotyped for having big tits.

Let’s hear from Evangelina Vargas, aka, Poly Swinger Wife. She’s married, but claims multiple sex partners.

Length vs Girth

It is often men who are concerned about cock size. I will admit that cock size can be an issue for some women, as well, but more often it is men who are the most concerned.

Men’s penises can be seen in gym locker rooms by other men, at nude beaches, and at nude resorts by both men and women. When penises are seen in these places, the penises are flaccid. Most men are not comparing their erect penises to other men’s erect penises in real life. When this occurs, it is usually while looking at or watching porn.

Since most penises are seen when they are flaccid, it is safe to assume that flaccid size is just as important as erect size.

Let’s say that two men are together, one man’s penis glans (head) is bigger than the other man’s entire penis. Could this be an issue? I believe so. Let’s now say that a woman is looking at these two men. Is she going to see both men as being equal, sexually or otherwise? Possibly not.

A person’s reaction to a man’s penis size can have lasting effects. And too often statements made about a smaller penis are rarely complimentary.

Imagine that you are a man, and more than once you have been told that your penis is “cute.” Does this foster a feeling of command, confidence, and masculinity? No. Conversely, if you are told that you are hung, or hung like a horse, does this foster a different feeling for the “hung” man? I believe so.

The size of a man’s penis often has a lot to do with how a man sees himself. How well he measures up will attribute to the man’s feelings of self-worth, and himself as a man.

It is said that flaccid size often has nothing to do with what the same penis will look like when erect. I agree, to a point. I believe that a man who has a flaccid penis that is 2.5 inches in length isn’t going to be as big when he is erect as a man who is 6.5 inches in length when he is flaccid.

A larger cock, when flaccid, may not grow much more when it is erect, but it may get thicker. So, let’s say that one man has a 4.5-inch erect penis that is 4.0 inches in circumference, and the other man has a 6.5-inch penis that is 5.0 inches in circumference when it is flaccid. I believe it is safe to assume that the larger flaccid penis is going to be the bigger penis when it is erect.

Many men fear being alone or rejected because of the size of their penis. This fear usually exists because of past ridicule of the man’s penis or the fear of that happening.

The Whole Clitoris Matters

Although most women care much less about men’s penis sizes, it has been noted that women who can, do, and enjoy vaginal orgasm prefer larger cock men. For women who don’t prefer vaginal orgasms, penis size is a far less pressing matter.

Studies have shown that fewer women can and do orgasm vaginally than those who orgasm through clitoral stimulation. Yet, it has also recently been proven that the clitoris is much larger than previously thought. Essentially, all women who experience orgasm, either through clitoral or vaginal stimulation, experience clitoral orgasms.

Why is this important? The reason many women can and do experience “vaginal” orgasm is that the penis rubs the clitoris on all sides. When looked at, the clitoris is not just the nub that most people think that it is. It actually covers much more ground. The “nub” is just the tip of the clitoris.

To put it crudely, the entire clitoris looks like a large wishbone that has incredibly large testicles. (Side note, the G-spot is actually the back of the clitoris.) A thicker cock can stimulate the clitoris in various areas. This is why girth is often more important to women than length is.

‘Show Me’ clubs

If girth is more important to women, why are men so worried about the length of their penis? The reason is that men’s penises are their advertisement, their forecast of what’s to come. Yet, I will admit, this, too, is situational.

My husband and I go to swing clubs, and we are also members of a nudist resort. My husband and I have both noticed that there is a big difference between the men who go to swing clubs and those who go to nudist resorts. The men we see at the swing clubs usually have penises that hang and swing when they walk. Whereas, most of the men at the nudist resort have small, or barely visible, penises.

Of course, swing clubs are sexual atmospheres. Whereas, nudist resorts are family-friendly. At the swing clubs, it’s rare to see men who have a small penis. Conversely, at the nudist resort, it’s rare to see men who are well hung. My husband has a small penis. At the swing club, my husband often feels inferior. Whereas, at the nudist resort, he’s larger than a majority of men.

We have become friends with another couple who also attend the same swing clubs we do, and they are also members of the same nudist resort. And we have talked about this with them. The wife of the couple has said that she feels more attractive at the swing club because men want to have sex with her. The husband says he likes the nudist resort most because he is around men who are more sized like he is.

Seeing the difference between the penis sizes of swingers and nudist men has made us think. In a sexually charged atmosphere, the larger penis men are seen as most valuable. Whereas, at the nudist resort, personality is what matters most. If you go online and look at nudists, you will see a lot of small penis men. Why is that?

At nudist venues, public sex or public displays of affection is forbidden. Whereas, at swing clubs, public sex is encouraged. So, what would attract one man to one place and another man to the other? Comfort and acceptance. You pretty much go to places where you feel you fit in most. So, if you have a small penis, you would feel more comfortable at a nudist venue.

We’ve gotten to know the one man, at the nudist resort, who is exceptionally well sized. To put this in perspective, he used to be a porn star, and he is bigger soft than almost all of the men I have seen (hard) at the swing clubs. He says he feels like a circus freak, sometimes, at the nudist resort. Yet, he also says that a lot of women, at the nudist resort, want sex with him. Although public sex is frowned upon at nudist venues, this big dick guy says that sex does happen, a lot, at least for him.

Neither my husband nor the husband of the other couple we’ve gotten to know, have been able to get sex at the swing club. Yet, a larger penis man, at a nudist resort, gets sex, often. At the swing clubs, you get to see men both flaccid and erect. Whereas, at the nudist resort, you only see men flaccid. At the nudist resort, it doesn’t matter if you are a grower or not.

We’ve been to several swing clubs and several nudist resorts, and our findings have been the same. Nudists believe that baring it all has physical and mental health benefits, including stress relief and improved self-esteem. Which makes sense, even sexually.

As a man, when you are around a lot of other men, who also have small penises, you see yourself as normal. At a swing club, if you have a small penis, you see yourself as that guy who doesn’t get to have sex. And that has no physical or mental health benefits, stress relief, or improved self-esteem.

It works in reverse, too

Nudism is about creating situations where there is psychological and emotional equality between people. This is not the case at swing clubs. A nudist environment is a safe, NON-sexual space. Whereas, swing/sex clubs are sexually charged. Having an erection, and not hiding it, in a nudist environment reinforces rape culture and works against everything the nudist movement stands for. Whereas, at a swing club, especially if you have a large penis, you are more than likely going to get to make new friends.

In nudist environments, sexually suggestive language, dancing, dress, or displays of affection are never appropriate. So, why is it that in swing clubs sexually suggestive language, dancing, dress, or displays of affection are permissible and even encouraged? Because nudist environments are considered wholesome and non-sexual. Whereas, swing clubs are sexual by nature. This being the case, why are there more larger penis men who go to swing clubs and smaller penis men who go to nudist resorts?

In a nudist environment, no one cares how big or small your penis is. And no one pays much attention. Whereas, at a swing club, your penis size is important. And everyone notices if you are big or small. Although nudist environments aren’t sexual, a larger penis is going to be noticed, just as a small penis is going to be noticed at a swing club, but not in a good way.

To add some balance, at a swing club, a plumper woman is not going to be seen as attractive as a fit woman. And she will not be seen as sexually valuable. This is something that we have come to see. If you are a larger woman or a small penis man at a swing club, you are not seen as sexually valuable. In a nudist environment, your size, whether you are a man or a woman, isn’t important. Why? Because nudist environments are non-sexual. So, in sexual situations, your size does matter, whether you like it or not.

I believe this is something many people don’t understand. To most people, sex is important. And in our findings, if you are a fit woman or a man with a large penis, you are seen as sexually valuable. I think we all want sex, but because of how people are, what you look like, and what you have, matters. The biggest difference between a larger woman and a small penis man is; a larger woman is more likely to be hit on than a small penis man is.

As far as confidence goes, nudist men don’t care who sees them nude, in a nudist environment. Even if they have a very small penis. Yet, at swing clubs, the larger penis men seem to be the most confident. It seems to us that confidence, where penis size is a part of it, is largely dependent on the situation and the environment. If overt sexuality is looked down upon, small penis men are the most confident. And, in sexually charged atmospheres, larger penis men are usually the most confident.

Take this outside of swing clubs and nudist environments, and penis size is often important, to both men and women. And, sadly, if you are a small penis man, even clothed and no one knows you have a small penis, the small penis man still often feels inferior. I joked once to my husband that maybe all men should be nudists. And he didn’t laugh. He told me that would not be a good thing, because then you’d know who really did and did not have a small penis, and everyone would know. Not what most small penis men would wish for.

It’s sad, considering that most things in life are not sexual, that penis size is such an issue. Big penis men complain that they can’t find underwear that fits them right, or that they can’t get their penis in a woman because their penis is too big. But that doesn’t seem to affect their day-to-day lives. Whereas, small penis men deal with small penis problems in all aspects of their lives.

I started this post to state that the importance of penis size is situational. But I have to admit that it isn’t. If the opportunity for sex doesn’t exist, then penis size isn’t an issue. Whereas, if sex is what people are there to have, or are looking for, then penis size is going to matter, a lot.

We are a society that sees our physical appearance as important. If you type “sexy nude women” in Google, what do you see? You see younger, fit women, with larger breasts. What happens when you type in “sexy nude men” in Google? You see pictures of men who are well hung, or you see pictures of men having sex with other men. What does that tell you? Sadly, our naked bodies tell others of our sexual market value. And this is why many men fear their penis isn’t big enough, or want theirs to be bigger.

Often people see sex as a private matter, but, in reality, it is more a socio-economical matter. Men’s and women’s bodies are like sexual currency, and each body has its own sexual and socio-economic value. As stated above, when sex is not wanted or looked for, a small penis isn’t an issue. When sex is the goal, that is when penis size matters.

Just 3 Seconds

A man and his penis may be likened to a property owner looking to sell. It makes sense for him to advertise, market, and position his property to create increased demand and end up with the best deal. Consider actual marketing, the business that has the most money can attract the most customers. Now, look at men and penises. The man who has the most to advertise is going to attract the most sexual partners.

A recent study revealed that women see a man’s height and penis size as equally important. And in this study, it was proven that women can approve of or reject a man’s penis in three seconds, by simply looking at it, and the majority of women in the study stated that they did not find a small penis attractive.

One thing that all men have to realize is that women can and do have sex more often than men, and usually understate their number of sexual partners. What this means is that no matter who you are, as a man, chances are good that the woman you’re having sex with has probably had sex with more men than you will with other women.

What does a woman’s number of sexual partners have to do with penis size?

If you are a man who has an erect penis that measures 3.75 inches long and 3 inches in circumference, and all the other men that your present sexual partner has been with have been at least 6.5 inches long and 5.75 inches in circumference, You’ll have a challenge before you. The other men were all almost twice your size in both length and girth.

Kinky Options ‘For Small Cocks Only’

Keep in mind, though, if a woman is into anal sex, many women prefer a thinner penis. And if you are on the smaller side, a woman can get your entire cock in her mouth, she can deep throat you. Then, she can relax and just have fun with your cock.

Some might say that a woman’s vagina feels different if she has recently had sex with a man who had a much larger cock. If it has been a while, the same woman may feel tighter. If you enter a woman just after another man pulled out of her, and his cock is larger than yours is, the woman may feel loose to you. And if you have a large cock yourself, you may never meet a woman that you’d consider to be loose.

There are benefits no matter what side of the scale you’re on. If you have a smaller cock, you may get to do more than a man who has a much larger cock. If you are a man who has a larger cock, you might get sex more often. Yet, if your cock is the size a woman can have fun with, then you win, no matter what.

Although any man with any size penis can please a woman, and enjoy himself, men still concern themselves with something they can’t change. Your penis can’t be any bigger than it is, you can’t change how tall you are, but you can lose weight and work out to improve your market value. Instead of focusing on what you can’t change, focus on what you can change.

I’m not saying that there is ever going to be a time when a smaller penis is seen as superior to a larger penis. What I am saying is that larger and smaller penis men can and do get sex. And you can, too, no matter the size of your penis.

In conclusion, men will probably always worry or be discontent when it comes to their penis, but keep in mind that women also worry about their bodies and parts. The fact that women have sex with more men than men do women should tell you that you’re still in the running, no matter your size.

By PolySwingerWife for Literotica

from How-To Sex Podcast

This post is part of the How To Sex podcast. Subscribe in your favorite apps.