Episode Transcript
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0:00
We're in a period of rapid change, and sometimes
0:02
it can feel like things are spinning out of
0:04
control. With political tensions,
0:06
anxiety, and loneliness rising, and questions
0:09
about how to live a good life on
0:11
everyone's mind, finding answers can seem
0:13
harder than ever. For millennia,
0:15
spiritual thinkers have offered wisdom and tools to
0:17
help people find their way in trying times.
0:20
Advice that even a scientist like me, Dave
0:22
Disteno, is finding have a lot to offer.
0:25
To join the conversation, look for How
0:27
God Works wherever you listen to podcasts.
0:38
Hello and welcome to Hysteria. I'm
0:40
Erin Ryan. And I'm Alyssa
0:43
Mastromonico. Alyssa, when's the last time you fell
0:45
asleep during something you were supposed to be
0:47
awake for and was it court? He
0:51
could not keep his head up. I
0:53
never even fell asleep in class. Like even
0:55
in college, even when I was really tired.
0:58
No. Even if I wanted
1:00
to, I couldn't. No,
1:02
the only time I fell asleep was when I was
1:04
on the carry campaign and we went out to see
1:06
a movie and I was so tired I just passed
1:09
out. We were in the first row. That's
1:11
the only time I can remember falling asleep during anything when
1:13
I should have been awake. I feel like
1:15
Donald Trump maybe gave Ruth Bader
1:18
Ginsburg shit when she sneezed a little
1:20
bit during the State of the Union
1:22
and then she said it
1:24
was because she'd had a couple glasses of wine
1:26
with dinner, which... Respect.
1:29
A hundred percent respect, but like,
1:31
Don, what's going on? Here's the
1:33
thing. She fell asleep during a
1:36
very long speech in a room that was
1:38
probably too warm. He's falling
1:40
asleep in the middle of
1:42
his trial. You think he'd be a little activated.
1:44
You know what I mean? I
1:48
don't know, man. He's on... I
1:50
can't even wrap my head around how bizarre the
1:52
times are we're living through. He's just like on
1:54
a rage bender. And he
1:56
gets sleepy afterwards. Apparently.
2:00
We've got a lot of information in the show this
2:02
week. We've always got information. Yeah, chocolate block. A
2:04
lot of information, but I think it's useful stuff,
2:07
especially as we're getting toward the part of
2:09
the campaign season that I think
2:11
you and I have both referred to as
2:14
some variation of bullshit season. It's
2:17
bullshit season. Where everybody's looking for
2:19
gaffes and reading national
2:21
polls. Killing time until there might
2:23
be some real debate. And the
2:25
conventions are months away still. We
2:27
already know who the candidates are.
2:30
RFK Jr. is just kind of out
2:32
there, Leland Palmering,
2:35
whatever. Be in there. Yeah,
2:38
so we have a lot of information
2:40
for you today. We talk a lot
2:42
about new ways that Republicans at the
2:44
state level are trying to villainize abortion.
2:48
Public abortion has been on a winning
2:50
streak at the ballot box for going
2:52
on two years now. They're
2:54
trying to attach new scare words
2:56
to it, and we are not
2:58
falling for it. Nope. We're
3:01
also talking about a very sad,
3:03
small breakthrough in the bleak
3:05
world of parental leave in the U.S.
3:09
It now seems that more people are
3:11
eligible to take time off unpaid. Unpaid.
3:14
But at least you won't get fired. Upside.
3:17
We're also talking about the tragedy in
3:19
Australia and how misogyny and violence are
3:21
often tied together. And then we
3:23
get into why North Carolina is going to
3:25
be super important this fall and
3:28
a lot of important and
3:30
also batshit crazy races down there. A
3:32
lot of stuff down there. We
3:35
didn't even get to talk about the lady who was literally
3:37
a January 6th. There's a
3:39
lady. Oh God, yeah. Yeah, January 6th. We'll
3:41
come back to North Carolina another time. It's a lovely
3:44
time. So much time. Lovely place to revisit. And then
3:46
we have a Sandy Petty that
3:48
I think is extremely sane and extremely petty. You're
3:54
listening to Hysteria, the podcast for people who for
3:56
once in their lives are jealous of people in
3:58
New York City who got jury duty summons. this
4:00
week. Can we talk about this for a
4:02
second? Yeah, let's talk about it for a second. I need
4:05
cable news to stop trying to figure
4:07
out who the jurors are. I don't
4:10
want to know the profile of the jurors. We
4:13
cannot make it so that people can't
4:15
perform their civic duty anymore because they're
4:17
at risk of being doxed. So I
4:19
just need people to let it be.
4:22
Just let the jurors be the jurors.
4:24
I just...why is that newsworthy? It's...I think
4:27
they're trying to do like socioeconomic profiles of
4:29
people who are on the jury and
4:31
they're giving such distinct marking information
4:33
about their jobs and like where
4:36
they live that I really I
4:38
need them to stop. These people
4:40
are already putting themselves at risk by being
4:42
on this jury. We don't have to make
4:44
it worse. Yeah, that's really that's really a
4:46
good point and you know I've
4:48
been called for jury duty a couple times
4:50
and I've gotten out of it
4:52
because well I can't
4:54
be on the jury. I can't. I'm like in
4:57
opinion part of the media. Let me tell
4:59
you something. They did not care.
5:01
When I was in called for New York
5:03
City jury, I tried every
5:05
trick in the book. Worked for
5:08
Obama. Don't believe in the depth. Like
5:10
all the things you can imagine they were like you're good.
5:12
Sit down. Oh man. That
5:15
is that's rough. Yeah,
5:17
you know I've noticed a
5:19
lot of cable news has
5:21
to do with authoritative
5:23
prognosticating. That if that
5:26
I think if any other discipline we're trying
5:28
to do it we would be like what
5:30
are you talking about? Like it's people sitting
5:32
there trying to predict the future based
5:35
on you know rather than talk
5:37
about the present and it's like I don't
5:40
know. It's a no thank you.
5:42
We don't need this focus on something
5:44
that's actually like more important. I'm gonna
5:47
do prognosticating. I say leave it to
5:49
the pros. Like talk to
5:51
a tarot card reader. I would rather have
5:53
a tarot card reader on MSNBC being like
5:55
uh-oh the fool what does that mean or
5:58
like talk to Nicole from 90 day
6:01
fiance. Not
6:03
Nicole from 90 day fiance. I'm talking
6:05
like Chan. I'm talking like Channy.
6:08
We would get somebody like a
6:10
whore. I mean she is the
6:12
pro. Exactly. But I honestly would
6:14
rather sit around and like think
6:16
about the future and the
6:18
direction of that things are going using
6:21
like I don't know something a little
6:24
bit more mystical than a person who
6:26
went to Yale Law School trying
6:28
to like be intuitive. I
6:30
get it. I agree. I just it's like
6:32
mute. Sorry. Moving on now. What is happening?
6:35
I don't really need to and then look
6:37
I'm prefacing this in a show where we're
6:39
going to speculate on what's going to happen.
6:41
But I think our listeners know and we
6:44
acknowledge that we're just trying to
6:46
understand what could happen right and
6:48
the power that we have over whether
6:51
or not that that does happen. Okay.
6:56
So first a really dark
6:59
story from overseas that
7:01
I think we should
7:03
nevertheless talk about because it's yet another
7:05
example of how the link
7:08
between misogyny entitlement and
7:10
violence transcends cultures. It
7:12
transcends countries. It
7:15
is it is universal. If anything
7:17
is universal the link between misogyny
7:19
and violence is universal. On
7:22
Saturday in Sydney Australia a man
7:25
killed six people and injured a
7:27
dozen more in a
7:30
shopping mall a busy shopping mall. It
7:33
appears that he targeted women.
7:36
One of those people who was killed was
7:38
a baby. He committed
7:41
the stabbings at a dress shop. His father
7:43
told the media he wanted a girlfriend who's
7:45
got no social skills and he was frustrated.
7:48
Alyssa does
7:51
this sound a little bit like the
7:53
way that we talk about tragedy when it
7:55
happens here? Yeah I
7:57
mean it's excuse making right.
8:00
It's like, well, here are the mitigating
8:02
circumstances. Here's what drove him to it,
8:05
without saying that his
8:08
inability to get a girlfriend may
8:10
have been tethered to a million
8:13
things other than women themselves. Yeah.
8:16
And I think that a lot of times
8:18
people rush to tie things
8:20
to someone being mentally
8:22
unwell. And I, first
8:24
of all, there are a lot of
8:27
people walking around the world who are
8:29
mentally unwell and who put in a
8:31
lot of effort to managing that mental
8:33
illness and putting themselves
8:36
into a place where they can be productive members of society
8:38
and not destroy people. Secondly, I
8:40
think that mental illness sure loves to
8:43
glom onto misogyny. It
8:45
is funny how that works. And
8:47
when you are a man
8:50
who is brought up in
8:52
a society of any kind that
8:54
preaches any sort of entitlement to women and you
8:56
are denied what you believe you are entitled to
8:59
and you are dealing with
9:01
a complicating factor, I think that
9:03
is just, it is over and
9:05
over again a recipe for
9:07
just violence and tragedy.
9:11
My heart goes out to the people in
9:13
Australia. They have really tough gun laws there.
9:17
He was eventually brought down by
9:20
a female cop who basically opposite
9:22
Yuval Deed. She
9:25
was by herself
9:27
and she ran in and didn't know exactly
9:29
what she was getting into. So whatever the
9:31
cops in Yuval Deed were, she was the
9:34
opposite of that. And she was
9:36
able to take him down. There were people
9:38
in the mall who were first responders, Australian
9:40
first responders who ran from safety
9:42
to help people. And
9:45
so there are, I guess,
9:47
moments of good humanity
9:49
among this sort of explosion
9:52
of bad humanity, but it is just one of
9:54
those stories that makes you think like you
9:57
can have a whole community of people who just want to
9:59
like. grow a garden. Yeah.
10:02
And all it takes is one asshole with a
10:04
gas can to just fuck the whole thing up.
10:07
Totally. And to force someone
10:10
like that female cop to have to put her
10:12
life on the line. Uh-huh. Because he was having
10:14
a bad day. Uh-huh. None of the people
10:16
that put their lives on the line should have had to put
10:18
their lives on the line for that. Totally. And in
10:21
any mass tragedy like that, it just
10:23
is... We look for moments
10:25
to celebrate, you know, we sort of, to
10:27
quote Mr. Rogers, we look for the helpers.
10:29
Totally. But they shouldn't have had to do
10:31
that. Nope. They shouldn't have had to
10:33
do that. Nope. OK. So
10:36
going back stateside, we're going
10:38
to talk a little bit
10:40
about the new ways that
10:45
Republicans are trying to message
10:48
their untenable stance on abortion. We see
10:51
them. We see them. Alyssa, let's talk
10:53
a little bit about this. All
10:55
right. Erin? So
10:57
like you said, we're seeing upsetting
10:59
trends in states with Republican led
11:01
legislatures. Did a little
11:04
deep dive with the North Carolina Newsline. GOP
11:06
states like Kansas, Louisiana, and Tennessee
11:08
are pushing bills that would outlaw
11:11
abortion coercion or trafficking. In other
11:13
words, forcing someone to get an
11:15
abortion or helping them get one
11:17
out of state where it
11:19
is legal. Republicans keep pushing
11:21
these and other anti-abortion bills, even
11:23
though they're widely unpopular, especially in
11:25
states like Kansas. So
11:28
Erin, let's talk about abortion
11:30
coercion and the bill that
11:32
is on deck in Kansas. At first blush,
11:34
you're like, yeah, no one should be forced
11:36
to have an abortion, right? Right.
11:39
That's part of what reproductive justice is.
11:41
Everyone makes their own decisions for
11:43
themselves. But that's where the dodginess sort of
11:46
sets in. Uh-oh. OK.
11:48
Uh-oh. Here we go.
11:51
It's going to start with Kansas.
11:53
Republican legislators in Kansas continue to
11:55
introduce bills related to abortion, despite
11:57
Kansas voters' overwhelming rejection of abortion
11:59
bans. in a referendum shortly after
12:01
the Dobbs decision in 2022. Abortion
12:05
is legal in Kansas and six
12:07
clinics provide in-clinic services. But
12:11
right now, House Bill 2436, which
12:14
is still awaiting action by the governor,
12:16
Laura Kelly, a Democrat, this
12:19
bill addresses abortion coercion, making
12:21
it a felony to pressure
12:23
someone into an abortion, including
12:25
doctors. Okay. Right?
12:28
Okay. Okay. Right. Okay.
12:32
This, okay. I'm just gonna, I'm gonna stop
12:34
right here because I'm please, okay. I
12:37
gotta say this. The people writing
12:39
these laws are depending on the
12:41
people that they're trying to reach
12:43
never having had any interaction
12:46
with an abortion provider.
12:48
Yep. And because here's the thing, a
12:53
friend of mine, friend of mine who was
12:55
found herself pregnant was married, but not like
12:57
in a economically,
12:59
it wasn't like a great time, found
13:02
herself pregnant, couldn't really like afford
13:04
healthcare. But she kind of, she
13:06
wanted to have the baby, but was just like, I
13:09
don't know if I can do this. She went to
13:11
Planned Parenthood for like an exam, you know, when she
13:13
found out she was pregnant and the
13:15
people at Planned Parenthood like listened to her
13:17
and talked to her. And
13:19
she said they kind of like after talking to
13:21
them, she realized that she could do it. Like
13:24
you don't, they're not selling you on anything. They're
13:26
selling you on making the right decision for yourself.
13:29
And like, I've never experienced anything
13:31
but compassion and care
13:33
from people who provide abortions
13:36
or people who work. They're not abortion pushers.
13:39
No, they would prefer not to have
13:41
to do it if you don't want to. Like
13:44
they're not, it's
13:46
like, it's myth making. They're trying to
13:49
make abortion providers into
13:51
just monsters. And I've
13:53
only seen them ever operate with compassion.
13:55
Yes. I mean,
13:57
why would you go into that line of work
13:59
if you didn't have a compassionate approach. Well isn't
14:02
that kind of telling on themselves? Yeah,
14:04
I got it. Right? Yeah, that is
14:06
true. They're not. They can't
14:08
believe that people working at Planned Parenthood
14:11
just want the best for someone who
14:13
comes in. They believe because
14:15
they operate from a place of only
14:18
being motivated by agenda that everybody else
14:20
is too or they're projecting that and
14:22
it's really sad and
14:24
pathetic. But Erin, I was like, you
14:27
know, older lady really can't sleep
14:29
much anymore. It's pretty terrible, but it
14:31
did give me time to do a
14:33
little Google rabbit hole on coerced
14:36
abortions because I'm like, why is this
14:38
such a thing? They need, they think they need to legislate
14:40
that they need to prevent. And
14:43
I found the center against forced
14:45
abortions. Erin, it lives under the
14:47
umbrella of the Justice Foundation, which
14:49
is based in San Antonio, Texas
14:53
on the landing page for the
14:55
group, which is the landing page
14:57
fairly innocuous. They're just like, it's
14:59
like research. It's like pretty straightforward.
15:01
However, once you look
15:03
up top, you can click on the moral
15:05
outcry button, which has a petition to make
15:07
abortion illegal in all 50 states and has
15:09
over 500,000 signatures. They
15:12
state at the center
15:15
against forced abortions, that abortion is
15:17
a crime against humanity, kills babies
15:19
and hurts women. They also say
15:21
that new science shows that life
15:24
begins at conception, including IBS. Okay.
15:27
So once again, not
15:30
so much about safeguarding more about their
15:32
crazy policy. Yeah. And this also concerns
15:34
me because I think a lot of
15:36
times, especially if you're younger and
15:40
you find yourself pregnant and maybe you were brought
15:42
up in a religious tradition or
15:44
around people that were really judgmental about
15:46
abortion. Sometimes when
15:48
you talk to a friend, what you
15:50
are looking for is permission from
15:53
them to be like, you want to have an
15:55
abortion, but in your head, you're just like, I feel
15:58
like it's bad. I feel I should feel
16:00
that. I just want someone to tell me I'm not a
16:02
bad person. Exactly. Exactly. And that's not
16:04
coercion. That is just empathy. That is just listening
16:06
to them, listening to what they're saying, listening to
16:09
where they're at, and being like, how you're feeling
16:11
is okay. What you want is okay. You want
16:13
to move on with your life right now. You're
16:15
not ready to be pregnant, give
16:17
birth, and be a mother. So move on with
16:19
your life and maybe later in your life you
16:21
will be ready for those things. Maybe
16:23
not. Right. But maybe later in your life you'll be
16:25
ready for those things and don't you want to be
16:27
the best mother you can possibly be. In
16:30
which case you should wait until you feel like you're
16:32
ready. Could I get
16:34
arrested in Kansas if this bill became law?
16:36
Who knows? That's the thing about everything they're
16:39
doing, Erin. It is so like... They're
16:43
just confusing people to no end such that
16:46
you have no idea what you can or
16:48
cannot do except that if you err on
16:50
the side of not having an abortion you're
16:52
probably safer. No, not...
16:54
As it relates to the law. Okay, but as it
16:56
relates to your life... No, a
16:59
pregnancy is so many, many, many fold
17:01
times more dangerous than having an abortion
17:03
and having a child is also
17:06
very, you know, whatever. It's right. This
17:08
is stupid. Okay, so they're also
17:10
trying something like this in Louisiana.
17:12
Yeah, abortion is banned at any
17:15
stage of pregnancy in Louisiana with
17:17
exceptions to save a pregnant patient's
17:19
life, preserve their health, or for
17:21
fatal, fatal anomalies. So
17:23
what are they doing? Well, Senate Bill 276, which
17:26
is awaiting consideration
17:28
in the Louisiana Senate, creates a new law
17:30
to make it a crime to force someone
17:32
to take abortion medication. No.
17:35
Erin, again, doesn't
17:37
that kind... You shouldn't force anything
17:39
on anybody, right? Well, the legislation
17:42
I've read was sponsored by Senator
17:44
Thomas Pressley, who sit there, was
17:47
the Texas woman, right? Yep. Who
17:49
was forced to take abortion pills
17:51
without her knowledge, which should absolutely
17:53
be a crime. Correct, it's poisoning!
17:55
It's poi- it's poisoning, like she-
17:57
but I think that that's already
17:59
illegal, right? Right. Like, and
18:01
the Catherine Herron, the woman
18:03
in Texas, she experienced complications,
18:05
her child was born with
18:07
some challenges, I think some developmental
18:10
delays. Her husband was only sentenced
18:12
to 180 days in prison and
18:14
10 years of probation. Whereas
18:17
if he had been a doctor doing it to
18:19
a woman who asked for it to be
18:21
done, he would have gotten a greater prison
18:24
sentence. So that is bullshit. I think we
18:26
can acknowledge that the Mason Herring thing was
18:29
total bullshit, but like. Complete. I
18:32
don't know that this case
18:34
should be weaponized. No. In
18:37
the way that it is being weaponized. This
18:39
was a bad man who did a bad thing.
18:42
And you and I both know that
18:44
this law is not about that. It's
18:47
not about making sure that someone like
18:49
Catherine always has a choice and that
18:51
nothing can be forced on her. It's
18:53
about making sure that there are more babies on this
18:55
planet. Yeah,
18:58
more babies that can be adapted by Christian couples
19:00
taking away from working. Ding, ding, ding. Okay,
19:03
we also have something similar in
19:06
Tennessee. The Tennessee one was, okay,
19:08
so trafficking. It was
19:10
confusing even to me for a minute.
19:12
So here's the thing, trafficking I think
19:14
is a buzzword that Republicans have found
19:16
lands with a lot of people who
19:19
always think they're about to be kidnapped
19:21
in a Walmart parking lot. Pedophile, I
19:23
feel like trafficking and pedophile might go
19:25
together. There's a sort of
19:27
like QAnon Lite, yep, white
19:31
woman in Target in her car being like,
19:33
I almost got kidnapped. No, you didn't. You
19:36
did not, Chloe, you did not almost
19:38
get, you did not almost
19:40
get trafficked. A paper bag
19:42
next to your car did not
19:44
mean you were almost sex
19:47
enslaved. You were really,
19:50
really up your own ass if that's
19:52
what you think, if you think that
19:54
it's, yeah. Anyway, however,
19:57
that word I think is like
19:59
pretty sticky. social media and it
20:01
tends to garner virality for
20:04
people who are looking for virality and I
20:06
think that Tennessee is like, okay, great. We
20:08
will attach the word trafficking to
20:10
the notion of getting an abortion in a
20:12
state where it's actually legal because in Tennessee,
20:14
almost all abortions are banned. So
20:16
House Bill 1895 would
20:18
make it a misdemeanor to assist a
20:20
minor in obtaining an abortion, referring
20:23
to it as trafficking. So
20:26
here's the thing. Tell
20:28
me, trafficking in the
20:32
social media, TikTok freak out
20:34
sense means that you
20:36
were almost forced to
20:39
have your body used for
20:41
something that you did not consent for it to
20:43
be used for. Right. Driving
20:46
a minor to another state for an
20:48
abortion is enabling
20:51
that minor to not have her
20:53
body be used for
20:55
something, it's almost the opposite. I
20:58
mean, yes, she's getting in a car,
21:01
they might be some traffic, but
21:04
I think they're kind of opposite things.
21:06
I think that most people who have
21:09
abortions say, especially if you were like
21:11
a teenager and you had one, you
21:13
could be like, whew,
21:16
I am unencumbered as a result of
21:18
that procedure. But
21:20
yeah, no, now we're saying that
21:22
trafficking is bringing a minor to
21:25
a different state, including the act of
21:27
obtaining abortion pills, regardless of where the
21:29
pills were obtained. So that
21:31
counts as trafficking. That is a real
21:34
stretch. That's
21:36
a stretch, but I
21:38
think it's very fascist messaging.
21:42
Take a word that everyone acknowledges as bad. Say
21:45
that the bad word applies to a thing that you don't
21:47
like. Absolutely. There you
21:49
go. There you go. And
21:51
just to flag this, Tennessee and
21:53
Louisiana, along with Arkansas, Mississippi, and
21:56
Kentucky, have the worst maternal mortality
21:58
rates in America. from
22:01
the years 2018 to 2021. So. Yeah,
22:05
just just need to say that maybe they
22:07
could be focusing on other things. Yeah, it's
22:10
not about the babies. It's not about the
22:12
moms. It's about
22:14
it's about control. It's about control.
22:17
We do have some. I don't
22:20
want to say this is good news. It's a step
22:22
in the right direction. It is
22:24
not a step in the wrong direction. I
22:26
will. That's better. That's better.
22:29
Okay, so anybody in the
22:31
US who has had a
22:33
baby has probably encountered the
22:36
absolute gobsmacking shit
22:38
show that it is to try to
22:40
take leave. There
22:42
is a program in this country called
22:44
FMLA, the Family Medical Leave Act, which
22:46
guarantees 12
22:48
weeks of unpaid leave after
22:51
the birth or after the
22:53
birth of a child or to take care of a sick
22:57
family member. It's unpaid. At
22:59
the end of it, you are supposed to be
23:01
guaranteed the right to return to a job that
23:03
is similar to your job. FMLA
23:05
does what it does, but it
23:07
sort of fucking sucks. It's
23:10
unpaid. It
23:13
only applies to people who work at
23:15
companies with 50 employees or more who
23:17
have been at that company for at
23:19
least a year. So about half of
23:21
American workers don't qualify for FMLA and
23:23
have to rely on the largess of
23:25
their employers to be like, okay, no,
23:27
it's fine. You don't qualify,
23:29
but we'll still like, you know, but
23:31
they could still by law, like, just
23:33
fire you when you were away on
23:35
leave. Yeah. And it's unpaid and it leaves
23:38
out so many people. So according
23:41
to the 19th, now
23:45
almost all American workers will be
23:47
able to take the same
23:49
unpaid time off after
23:51
childbirth or for an abortion thanks
23:54
to the Pregnant Workers Fairness Act.
23:56
So the law passed in 2022.
24:00
this week the EEOC, Equal
24:02
Employment Opportunity Commission, has finally
24:04
clarified how the legislation will
24:06
function. So
24:09
basically, if
24:11
you work anywhere, and
24:13
you have worked there for any length
24:15
of time, and you are having a
24:17
pregnancy related something, whether that is a
24:19
birth or an abortion,
24:21
or like, you know, care after
24:23
a miscarriage, I'm assuming as well,
24:26
you are entitled to take
24:28
up to six weeks off
24:31
unpaid, and
24:33
you can come back to your
24:36
job. And your employer is required
24:38
to make reasonable accommodations for you.
24:41
So, it is the lowest hanging of
24:43
fruits. Yes, you
24:45
can't be fired for taking leave to take care
24:47
of a baby anymore. The reason that this is,
24:49
you know, now enacted is because there were people
24:51
who were going back to work when their babies
24:53
were like two weeks old. Which
24:56
is like crazy. Insane. With my
24:58
first child, I
25:00
could not even like sit comfortably.
25:03
I'm sure. After two weeks. Like if
25:05
you have a C-section, it's even worse. Like
25:07
you are, it's, look,
25:10
you don't wanna, postpartum is not
25:12
great. If you have a C-section, and you correct me if I'm
25:14
wrong, but this was the case for a good friend of mine,
25:17
after the C-section, she wasn't even supposed to
25:19
carry the baby up and down the stairs
25:21
for a week and a half. Yes, but
25:23
you're also supposed to somehow take the baby
25:26
to a checkup two days later. Confounding.
25:28
Yeah, you're supposed to take the baby to a
25:30
checkup like two days later so they can weigh
25:32
them. Why don't they do house calls? It's all
25:35
really stupid. We do it the stupidest way possible
25:37
in this country. It's the stupidest way. Absolutely. When
25:39
you read stuff like this, you have to assume
25:41
that the people at the EEOC, when
25:43
waiting through the 100,000 comments. I'm
25:47
so curious about this. I tried to get in. I
25:49
tried to see, but they've been shut off. They were
25:51
close, because it was done, but I tried to see
25:54
it. I tried to. Can we foyer them? I think
25:56
we should be able to foyer them. Let's
25:58
do it. They're probably gonna charge us like. like $80 to
26:00
print out all those. You know what? Let
26:03
me treat you. Oh, wow, early
26:05
birthday present from Alexa. Early birthday for
26:08
you. We're going to foyer the comments
26:10
and drink them over tea on FaceTime.
26:12
I'm just really curious because I think
26:15
the EEOC, when it comes to new
26:17
rules, it's whatever. I'm
26:19
going to get in the weeds. So the federal register
26:21
will have a comment period for things
26:23
like this. And people can be like,
26:26
this is what I think about. Whatever. And
26:28
apparently 96,000 of the 100,000 comments were
26:32
about abortion. Now, I'm wondering if they were
26:34
like, what about if I
26:36
have an abortion? Or if they were like, this
26:38
better not be for abortions. Or
26:40
if it was some combination. I mean, we
26:42
know who's the most mobilized when it comes
26:45
to writing shitty comments on things. Yeah.
26:48
Although, I think that
26:50
the left is getting better at shitposting. It's
26:52
a good point. It's a good point. But I'm really
26:55
curious what those comments were. I
26:57
could see there being some kind of coordinated effort
26:59
to try to get people to comment on
27:01
this, to make it so whatever. There
27:04
are some exceptions here. So if you're a
27:07
person who worked for a religious employer, you
27:10
can be denied the right to take leave
27:12
after an abortion. I'm
27:14
just saying this. Just fucking lie. Yeah.
27:18
Just lie. Like, whatever.
27:22
What are they going to do? They lie to us
27:24
all the time. All the time. I'm
27:27
saying I endorse. Just fucking
27:29
lie. They are not entitled to
27:31
your truth in this matter. You don't get a
27:33
trophy for fucking yourself
27:36
over. Just lie.
27:39
This is a good, this is an OK
27:41
lie. This is a good lie. Totally fine.
27:44
But if you work for the
27:46
state of a place like Texas,
27:48
also, where abortion is banned,
27:51
basically, you can't take the sleeve
27:54
either. I would
27:56
recommend, if you can, getting the
27:58
hell out of Texas. But that's
28:00
just if you have the ability to, you
28:03
could go ahead and... You know, you have to think, Erin.
28:06
So using Texas as an example, do
28:08
you have to provide like a doctor's
28:11
note? Like how is
28:13
this enforceable, I guess, is my point. I
28:16
don't know. Maybe they should give out t-shirts after abortions
28:18
that say, I just had an abortion. I did it.
28:20
Or if I did it.
28:22
Oh, R-I-P-O-J. Yeah,
28:26
so this is another thing that's
28:28
like, I don't know. A
28:31
lot of these rules to me do not get
28:33
publicized enough. I think a
28:35
good example of like moms feeling
28:39
like they don't have the rights that they have is like the pump
28:41
act. There's a law on
28:43
the books right now that if you
28:46
are a breastfeeding mom, you're entitled to
28:48
a private room with a
28:50
door that locks and reasonable breaks. And
28:54
I think in a mini fridge, I think a
28:56
place to store your milk. Did
28:58
that come around like 2015, 2014? It
29:02
has been a law for quite some time.
29:04
And a lot of employers just straight up
29:06
don't provide that space for you. And they
29:08
cannot make you go into the bathroom. That
29:10
is against the law. It has to not
29:12
be a bathroom. They have to do
29:14
that for you. And so many places don't do it
29:16
for you. And I think there are a lot of
29:18
people who don't know that they can complain about it.
29:22
You know what? Let's find a couple
29:24
of good links to post in show
29:26
notes today about what people are entitled
29:28
to when they are having children. Yeah, I
29:30
mean it's not very much. It is not
29:32
much of the US. No, it's like the
29:35
pump act and the pregnancy fairness act. Yeah,
29:37
but I think that one of the problems
29:39
here is that a lot of the women
29:41
that this would benefit are not necessarily people
29:43
that are like opening
29:46
the 19th newsletter every morning. And
29:48
being like, what's going on in the
29:50
world of reproductive justice? I
29:52
think that there are people that maybe are
29:54
disempowered and aren't really,
29:57
they don't have as much information and so they
29:59
wouldn't. even know when the rights are being violated.
30:02
And so I think it's just
30:05
really important for us to get the word
30:07
out. If you have friends and family, let
30:09
them know that this is something now and
30:11
their employers have to do this. I
30:15
will say though that if employers are like, no,
30:19
what recourse do you have?
30:22
Do you have to like... Right. You have to file
30:24
a complaint with the EEOC, right? I
30:26
believe so, but that can take a long time.
30:28
And so by the time that's all done, you're
30:30
just like, okay, well, not pregnant anymore.
30:33
Because this is actually now that the rule
30:35
is finalized, that is one of the things
30:37
people can do now is they can sue.
30:40
I think the EEOC has a website that you can
30:42
file stuff on. Yep, they do.
30:44
I was on it this morning. Were
30:46
you complaining about me, Alyssa? Erin,
30:49
never. I was finding the official statement they put
30:51
out because I wanted to see the details. So
30:55
yeah, we still don't have paid leave in this
30:57
country and this is how it's still fucking bullshit.
31:00
And we have Joe Manchin and every Republican
31:02
in the Senate to thank for that because
31:05
we were so, so close. So
31:07
close. So close, but now we don't have
31:09
it. And this is the best that we have now.
31:12
And it's as good as it
31:14
gets. It still sucks. It's better.
31:17
It sucks slightly less than what it
31:19
was before, but it still sucks. Yeah.
31:22
Okay. We're going to take a quick break. When we
31:24
come back, Alyssa, what
31:26
MSNBC host would say this, North
31:29
Carolina, come on and raise up, take your
31:31
shirt off, twist it around your
31:33
head, spin it like a helicopter, as
31:35
Petey Pab would say, that's
31:37
my Ari Melber. Oh, I was
31:39
like, is that Chris Hayes? Not a woman. That's
31:42
all I knew. It's not a woman. No, no,
31:44
no, that's Ari. Ari Melber loves to quote like
31:46
hip hop lyrics and every time we've been going
31:48
into North Carolina stuff, I just think about that
31:50
Petey Pab song that was like playing at every
31:53
bar when I was underage in
31:55
college. Do you know what my parents love to
31:57
say when you're on Ari Melber? What? on
32:00
with the hip-hop guy. Oh, that's I
32:02
think I think you would probably think
32:04
that was funny. Okay, we're gonna take
32:06
a quick break when we come back,
32:09
North Carolina. Hi
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everyone, there's a podcast you are going
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back. You're
36:40
listening to Hysteria, the
36:42
podcast for people whose
36:44
Instagram recommendations were absolutely
36:46
chock full of slays
36:49
from the WNBA draft red
36:51
carpet this weekend. Whoa. Oh,
36:54
nonstop. It was the elusive
36:56
first picture that pops up that vaporizes
36:58
when you open Instagram. But luckily there
37:00
were so many more behind it. Who
37:03
gave Angel Reese the right? That
37:05
is my question. Incredible.
37:09
That orange carpet for the WNBA
37:11
draft was more glamorous and stylish
37:13
and cool than all
37:16
the award shows. Yeah, man.
37:18
It was. Honestly. I
37:20
also was thinking as I was looking at pictures
37:22
of it and footage and stuff. You
37:25
know who would love this? Who? Prince.
37:29
The late singer Prince. Absolutely.
37:31
He was so obsessed
37:33
with tall, strong women
37:35
that when the Minnesota
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Lynx won the
37:39
WNBA title, he invited the
37:41
entire team over to his
37:44
house and he did a private concert for them because
37:46
he loves very tall
37:48
women. Prince forever. I
37:50
know. I hope he I
37:52
hope that on his Instagram in heaven,
37:54
he just got to see
37:56
as many photos of like just rolling. Yes. with
38:00
delight and glee. Camilla Cardoso
38:02
in that red suit just
38:04
looking like absolute the picture
38:06
of glamour. Yeah,
38:10
great. Great stuff. Okay, so today we
38:12
wanted to spend some of our news
38:14
time highlighting North Carolina's role in the
38:16
upcoming election. So I know
38:19
this is like, North Carolina is
38:21
always important because Shaniqua McClendon is
38:23
our political director. Yes. She is from
38:25
North Carolina. Always
38:28
an important state, right? But it's
38:30
like legitimately a
38:33
thing. A thing this time around. The
38:35
state was Biden's narrowest loss in the
38:37
2020 election, which I
38:40
didn't know. I didn't either.
38:42
Yeah, he barely lost the state.
38:45
His campaign has really been putting in
38:47
a lot of effort on the ground
38:49
in North Carolina. They've
38:51
been visiting the state, they've set up field
38:54
offices in the state. Donald Trump, by
38:56
the way, has no field offices anywhere
38:58
really. I think he's just busy trying not
39:00
to fall asleep in his trial. Oh,
39:03
God. His plan
39:06
is the plan of a lot of hot people in
39:08
bed. He's just gonna lay there. Oh, yeah. He's a fish. He's
39:14
just gonna
39:17
campaign wise, he's just gonna show up and be like,
39:19
here I am. Isn't that
39:21
enough? It's so interesting. Yeah,
39:24
I don't know. I don't know what his plan is. But you
39:26
know, again, we can't predict the future. We can't.
39:29
We can only comment on what's
39:31
happening. But North Carolina votes matter
39:33
way beyond the presidency. Democratic
39:36
wins further down ballot could help
39:38
Joe Biden. There's also one race.
39:41
Every election cycle, there's like a few races
39:43
that are like the bonkers races, right? Like
39:46
beyond bonkers. Yeah, like the Kerry
39:48
Lake, Katie Hobbs race for
39:50
governor in Arizona was a bonkers
39:53
race. This cycle's bonkers
39:55
race is the race
39:57
for governor in North Carolina between
39:59
Lieutenant Governor Mark Robinson who Donald
40:01
Trump described as a bonkers absolutely
40:04
bonkers Donald Trump described him as MLK
40:06
on steroids I listened to him
40:08
do some speeches at first I was like
40:11
Donald Trump learned about another black person
40:13
and stopped comparing all black people to
40:16
the one well He only knows MLK
40:18
and Kanye those are two right, but
40:20
I did listen to Robinson
40:22
speak and he doesn't sound like MLK
40:25
on steroids at all. He sounds like
40:27
MLK on PCP like
40:31
a Drug a glass punching drug,
40:34
you know Like not a not
40:36
a weightlifting drug a drug like
40:38
a lot to work out. I'm
40:40
inside himself I don't think he
40:42
should be around other people. I
40:44
don't think it's safe I agree
40:46
doesn't seem like a safe person He
40:49
supports a total abortion ban with no
40:51
exceptions for rape or incest and we
40:53
all know that exceptions don't even matter
40:55
anyway Exceptions are just fake,
40:57
but that's why it makes them so easy to
41:00
just fakely support Like I could just do it
41:02
because we know it's fake, but he can't even
41:04
do that. Don't give them ideas Sorry,
41:07
anyway, but no exceptions basically if
41:09
he opposes same-sex marriage, okay His
41:14
opponent is Democrat
41:16
Josh Stein who seems perfectly
41:18
nice and if North
41:23
Carolinians want to have access to reproductive
41:25
rights in their state Stein
41:27
has to win has to have to What
41:30
has to absolutely has to this is almost
41:32
this kind of reminds me of
41:35
another gubernatorial race between a crazy person and
41:37
a guy named Josh Pennsylvania
41:42
Mastriano versus Josh Shapiro God
41:45
bless right. We need all the bring
41:48
us the Josh's Crazy
41:50
be Josh, North Carolina edition
41:54
This mark Robinson has said some
41:56
oh my gosh, Alyssa. You've got
41:58
some Robinson I've got some. I
42:01
got some. There's so many. All
42:03
right, here we go. Aaron, here are some
42:05
of his absolute
42:07
worst. In
42:09
2017, Robinson posted a meme
42:12
referring to Representative Frederica Wilson
42:14
of Florida as a, quote,
42:16
lying liberal, bottom-feeding pond scum
42:19
and, quote, dressing like a rejected
42:21
drag queen from Brokeback Mountain. There
42:24
weren't any drag queens in that movie. He's
42:27
just, we know that. He's
42:29
never watched Brokeback Mountain. Does he think that
42:32
Drag Race is about cowboys and
42:34
Brokeback Mountain is about drag
42:37
queens? It is. It's
42:39
the opposite, Mark. So bad. He hates
42:41
women of color a
42:43
lot. He took particular aim
42:46
at former first lady, Michelle
42:48
Obama, calling her an angry
42:50
anti-American communist black lady and
42:52
saying, wait, she's black? That's
42:55
what I'm learning. Okay. Okay.
42:58
I'm learning. Okay. Saying
43:01
she speaks ghetto. And now here's
43:03
the thing. He wrote Wookiee.
43:05
I think he means Wokee, but I'm
43:07
not sure. It
43:10
would actually be cool if Michelle Obama
43:12
was secretly really into Star Wars and
43:14
did speak Wookiee. But
43:16
this is where, here's another one. In
43:19
October of 2017, he referred
43:21
to Congresswoman Maxine Waters as
43:24
old Maxine Pad Waters. Okay.
43:28
Why is he talking about Maxi Pads? Know
43:32
your limitations even as an absolute fringe lunatic.
43:34
Know your limitations. Is that the reference he
43:37
was trying to make? I think so. Sometimes
43:39
I feel like there's a certain type of
43:41
fringe lunatic Republican who is so online, in
43:43
a part of the online where I will
43:46
never go, that I'm like, I don't even
43:48
follow. What are you
43:50
trying to say? What is this joke? What
43:52
is this reference? Can you diagram the sentence
43:54
for us? Because we don't get it.
43:56
Exactly. You know how
43:58
in China censorship means that a
44:00
lot of... of political humor is
44:03
told through imagery and puns and
44:05
double entendres in pictures.
44:08
But in order to understand the humor,
44:10
you have to speak Chinese and understand
44:12
the tonal variation of different words. This
44:16
is the lowest lowbrow version
44:18
of that. I don't know
44:21
what to-wents are you referring
44:23
to. I do not understand
44:25
any of this stuff. He
44:28
is an exhausting person. There's also
44:30
one other thing I want to
44:32
read which was from a sermon
44:35
he delivered in July What
44:37
is he in the church
44:39
of? Like a sermon just- He's
44:42
just therming. A freelance sermonologist?
44:44
Yeah, he's just like, I'm here and I
44:46
have things to say. Okay, but it's in
44:48
a church? In
44:52
a previously unreported sermon he delivered in
44:54
July 2020, Robinson
44:57
said, quote, we need our men to
44:59
stand up and teach our young men
45:01
how to be men. Okay?
45:04
And when I say men, I
45:07
mean manly men. This is some
45:09
Donald Trump gobbledygook unlike anything else.
45:12
I'm talking about the kind of manly
45:14
men that they want to
45:16
say, you're a male chauvinist pig or
45:18
you're full of machismo. You better believe
45:20
I am. What put that in me
45:22
to be a man? What
45:24
the fuck does that mean? That is
45:27
like, that's not even mad libs. There
45:30
are too many crazy words. Mad libs actually make
45:32
more sense. That sort of
45:34
mentality makes me nostalgic for
45:36
the time of whaling. When
45:39
men would go in large groups into
45:41
the sea. They should
45:43
go whale. Never to return. No, I mean, we
45:45
need something. We need to like make electronic
45:48
whales that they think that they're getting
45:50
because we don't want them
45:52
killing real whales. But I just need there to be
45:54
some kind of reason for them to just disappear
45:58
into the sea. Go
46:00
away. Go away. Go
46:02
away. What are you
46:04
doing for anybody? What is it
46:06
about anything? You're
46:09
just saying the word man over and over again
46:11
and getting angry at
46:13
women for being more
46:15
productive and valuable than
46:18
you. Nicer. Nicer, cooler,
46:20
more pro-social. Chill. Oh,
46:23
God. Okay. Yeah. Okay.
46:26
So, a little bit more about North Carolina
46:28
moving on from Robinson. North
46:31
Carolina has 16 electoral votes. That
46:34
is not nothing. That's not
46:36
nothing. They've got a Democratic governor currently.
46:39
They are a red state that can
46:42
elect Democrats. I wouldn't say they're like Pennsylvania
46:44
where they're sort of like lean blue at
46:46
this point. They're like doing
46:48
it in North Carolina. They're really
46:50
feeling it in Pennsylvania. Yeah. Yeah.
46:53
Yeah. Yeah. Pennsylvania
46:55
is like they tried it on. They're like, I like this.
46:57
They got rid of their old... Feels right. Yeah. They
47:00
got rid of their old wardrobe. They're like, this is how
47:02
I dress now. I'm Diane Keaton in a
47:04
Nancy Meyers movie. Gone
47:06
are the days of my skinny jeans. Anyway,
47:09
that's just me. That's just
47:12
my personal sartorial journey. If
47:16
a Republican wins governorship, North Carolinians
47:18
will see a six-week abortion ban
47:20
and more extreme right-wing legislation, partly
47:22
because the legislature is gerrymandered all
47:25
to fuck. Yep. It
47:27
is gerrymandered all to fuck. And there is a
47:30
Democrat who after a series
47:32
of very suspicious meetings
47:34
and moves switched to the
47:36
Republican Party, giving the Republican
47:39
Party a veto-proof majority. So
47:42
the situation in North Carolina is tenuous.
47:45
It is. And the thing that's
47:47
interesting was one of the things I saw when
47:49
we were reading is the
47:52
polls are getting a little
47:54
bit better in North
47:56
Carolina. Better like more reliable or
47:58
better like they look... like
48:00
they're fewer night terrors. Because
48:03
in general you know how we feel about polls. But
48:07
in the past month Stein is ticking
48:09
up against Robinson. Stein
48:12
is up eight points against Robinson now
48:14
in the most recent Quinnipiac poll. Trump
48:17
is still up though plus two against
48:20
Biden. So
48:22
it feels like if this were a
48:24
trend that continued, Robinson
48:27
is so batshit that even people
48:29
who support Trump are like yikes,
48:32
bridge too far. That Stein could
48:34
help Biden in North Carolina potentially.
48:36
Yeah and I also think Democrats
48:39
don't need to to get too
48:42
tangled up in their messaging here. They
48:44
don't necessarily, I mean, less crazy. Yeah
48:46
I think that they're, I
48:48
think that their steady slow release of
48:51
batshit insane clips from Apple researchers of
48:53
Mark Robinson being nuts.
48:56
I think that's like not going to hurt them.
48:58
But I think that the most important thing is
49:00
like this is a vote
49:02
for whether or not you think that the government should be
49:05
making decisions about your
49:07
body. Like this is, it's,
49:09
that's it. Like you, you vote for, it
49:12
doesn't really, like there's some chatter I've heard
49:14
about Stein being Jewish because I don't think
49:16
North Carolina's ever had a Jewish governor before
49:18
and people are concerned that people, you
49:21
know what honestly, even if you're like
49:24
a person who is uncomfortable with electing somebody
49:26
who has, who is from a demographic that's
49:28
never been elected before in your state, it
49:30
doesn't, none of that matters. What matters
49:32
is electing the Democrat will protect bodily
49:34
autonomy, electing the Republican will not. That's
49:37
it. Plain and simple. Plain
49:40
and simple. Not everything else is
49:42
just like, it
49:44
doesn't matter as much. It's a simple choice. Do
49:46
you think that there should be, the government
49:49
should stand between a woman,
49:52
a pregnant person, and their healthcare decisions? Or
49:54
do you think that's fucking creepy? Because
49:56
I think, Fucking, I vote fucking creepy. I vote
49:59
fucking creepy too. Okay,
50:01
so we are feeling, I don't
50:03
know, not, we're interested in North
50:05
Carolina. I was going to say we're feeling
50:07
engaged. We're feeling engaged with North Carolina.
50:09
We'll be keeping an eye on North Carolina.
50:12
North Carolina listeners, hysteria at crooked.com,
50:15
if you've got some insight into
50:17
how things feel over there. If
50:19
you've got some insight on the vibe.
50:21
Send us tips. Send us tips. Send
50:23
us, you know, thoughts. If you want to vent, you
50:25
can vent to us. Anything.
50:27
Anything you want. We are here. Okay,
50:30
we're going to take a quick break. When we
50:32
come back, send it to corner slash ICA
50:34
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56:01
for those baffled by
56:03
Nike's Olympics uniforms for the track and
56:05
field athletes. What was that? Where do
56:07
the labia go? There is no
56:10
room for the labia. Who
56:13
did this? I don't know.
56:15
I was, that was such a yikes. What?
56:18
Nike is fucking up big time. We did
56:20
an episode of How Did We Get Here,
56:22
the Saturday episode
56:24
of What a Day that I co-host with
56:26
Max Fisher. Right. Which is a lot of
56:28
fun and if you're not already listening you
56:31
should tune in because it's kind of like
56:33
a nerd out deep dive. It's awesome. I
56:35
love every episode. It's super fun. We did
56:37
an episode about the baseball uniforms for practice.
56:39
Yep. Which expanded into a conversation about why
56:41
do clothes suck right now and the reason
56:43
they suck in like the sporting arena is
56:46
kind of because Nike just
56:48
kind of like outsources some of it and
56:50
it's just everyone's kind of phoning it in
56:52
and everybody's trying to save money. Nobody really
56:54
cares about making good product anymore and this
56:58
is just, well I don't, I
57:00
cannot believe, do you think there are
57:02
any women on the design committee for
57:04
this? There could not have been. There
57:07
could not have been. They, Nike better
57:09
be paying for swoosh shaped bikini waxes.
57:12
I was gonna say and yeast
57:14
infection medicine. How are
57:16
you supposed to run in that?
57:18
Those outfits were a yeasty waiting
57:21
to happen. Oh my god. Yeah.
57:23
Do you remember song bodysuits that
57:25
I talk about?
57:27
I mean that's literally like the conceit
57:29
behind these things. It's just like what
57:31
are you guys, I hope that
57:33
the track and field athletes are able to
57:36
figure something out. I would literally cut the
57:38
crotch in mine and like tie it off
57:40
to the side. Something. You wear something.
57:43
And wear like some biker shorts or something. It
57:45
was an outrage. It looks terrible.
57:49
It looks terrible and I hope that there are
57:51
people that are in trouble. Very
57:54
much trouble. Okay, um,
57:56
someone houses for the class. It's
57:59
20 24 we're facing
58:01
another election with unprecedented
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at that exact moment. Alyssa, I never
58:15
think of you as having a regional
58:17
accent, but for me that word is
58:19
route. Okay, so
58:22
I struggled with it. But
58:25
I think that's one of those things depending on
58:27
what part of the country you're from, it's root
58:29
or route. We were both root and routed. See,
58:31
I think of them as different words. Oh,
58:33
really? Like I go on a route or I route something
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or candidates committee. Oh, this
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weekend folks, if you're in LA, this
59:25
is exciting. This is exciting. If you're,
59:27
this is like the last event probably
59:29
I'm gonna be able to like hoist
59:32
myself to before I have to just like
59:35
formulate an ass groove in my own couch and
59:37
sit there until this
59:40
baby comes. But this weekend if you're
59:42
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59:44
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59:46
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59:57
time for sanity corner slash I feel petty. Alyssa,
1:00:00
I'm going to start with a sanity
1:00:02
corner. There
1:00:05
are two new episodes of
1:00:07
beloved Australian children's show, Bluey,
1:00:11
currently available to stream on Disney+.
1:00:14
It is a real treat most
1:00:17
of the time when new episodes come
1:00:19
out in Australia, it takes quite some
1:00:21
time for them to get to us.
1:00:24
As a result, sometimes
1:00:27
what happens in those episodes gets
1:00:29
spoiled because these people in Australia
1:00:31
are posting about Bluey
1:00:34
on, say, the Bluey subreddit,
1:00:37
which is a very active- Where one can
1:00:39
find themselves in the middle of the night.
1:00:41
They may find themselves. The Bluey subreddit is
1:00:43
intense though. I have to not. I'll
1:00:47
go in there every couple of weeks and
1:00:49
be like, what's everyone talking about? But I
1:00:51
remember one time there was a post where
1:00:53
someone was like, I don't think that it
1:00:55
makes me feel bad that their house is
1:00:57
so nice. I think it's like economic shaming
1:00:59
and I was like, it's a fucking cartoon.
1:01:01
It's because speaking of, wait, Bluey, you are
1:01:03
a huge fan of Ms. Rachel. I'm
1:01:06
not a fan. I'm a fan of the fact that
1:01:08
my daughter leaves me alone when Ms. Rachel is
1:01:10
lost. But did you see what Ms. Rachel did in
1:01:12
New York? What did she do?
1:01:14
Ms. Rachel came out against Mayor Adams.
1:01:17
Good for her. I've been saying
1:01:20
she could run for president. Ms.
1:01:22
Rachel came out and was very
1:01:25
totally lovely and she did this direct
1:01:27
camera about how upsetting it is being
1:01:30
in New York to see the mayor
1:01:32
cutting funding for kids programs.
1:01:36
And I was like, is this
1:01:38
the Ms. Rachel that my sister and
1:01:41
Aaron speak of? And I'm like, scroll
1:01:43
back and I was like, good for
1:01:45
her. Future Senator Ms. Rachel, imagine if
1:01:47
Fred Rogers would have run for office.
1:01:49
I mean, maybe he would
1:01:52
have shamed everybody into camaraderie. I mean,
1:01:54
it would have been like Mr. Rogers
1:01:56
goes to Washington. Like a little bit
1:01:58
different like Ted Cruz. Who
1:02:00
hurt you? Now
1:02:03
is that very nice? Yeah,
1:02:05
so Bluey is this show. There's
1:02:08
a bajillion episodes, but they're all five minutes
1:02:11
long, and it really can get you
1:02:13
in the heartstrings. There is an
1:02:15
episode that is a regular length that came out, and there's
1:02:17
an episode that's 28 minutes long, that
1:02:19
feels a little bit like it could be the
1:02:21
show. Like a novella. The
1:02:23
show wrapping up. We're not sure
1:02:26
if it's done or not. The people who
1:02:28
make the show have been working very hard for
1:02:31
years and years to put out as
1:02:33
much content as they're putting out, and
1:02:35
so I think they're all taking a break. But this 28 minute episode,
1:02:37
Alyssa. What?
1:02:42
I almost can't even talk about it without getting...
1:02:45
Did you cry? I saw a
1:02:47
clip from the end of
1:02:49
it that is 15 seconds long,
1:02:51
and I'm crying thinking about it.
1:02:53
Wait, I'm getting teary-eyed just imagining
1:02:56
you thinking about this show.
1:03:02
Whatever black magic they used in the
1:03:04
first five minutes of the film up,
1:03:07
they sprinkle it throughout the show, and
1:03:10
it just surprises
1:03:13
you from around the corner. You're like, wow,
1:03:15
I'm watching a kid's cartoon about dogs, and
1:03:17
suddenly there's a flashback to one of the
1:03:19
adult dogs being a puppy. And you're just
1:03:21
like, whoa! It is crazy. Anyway,
1:03:23
it's crazy. My
1:03:26
daughter started watching it this morning, and
1:03:29
we had to turn it off
1:03:31
to get her ready, and my husband
1:03:33
and I were like, we're gonna watch
1:03:35
this. It's like event TV. Yeah, it's
1:03:38
like the Bluey potential final episode
1:03:40
and the finale of succession. So I
1:03:42
can't miss them. Exactly, but there is-
1:03:44
Co-viewing experience. There is slightly less
1:03:46
swearing in Bluey. They don't
1:03:49
really- That tracks. They don't really swear the
1:03:51
dogs. Also, another thing that happened in this
1:03:53
episode of Bluey, I hope it's not the
1:03:55
last episode, just selfishly, because it's such great
1:03:57
TV, but there was a
1:03:59
queer. couple introduced very
1:04:02
like it like everything in the show
1:04:04
just it was done just like very
1:04:06
nonchalantly right it was just there's a
1:04:09
little chihuahua named pretzel I believe pretzels
1:04:11
pretzels got two moms and
1:04:13
oh it wasn't no big deal
1:04:15
was made out of it it was just like
1:04:18
a matter of fact here they are yeah welcome
1:04:20
yeah exactly so I hope we could see more
1:04:22
of pretzel and pretzels pretzels to
1:04:24
chihuahua mom it's future I mean honestly
1:04:26
I feel blessed that I've watched very
1:04:29
few episodes because I feel like I have a lifetime
1:04:31
ahead of me of bluey consumption
1:04:33
yeah some of them are really good
1:04:35
some of them are like definitely
1:04:38
more for kids some of them like there's
1:04:41
I'll send you a list offline please
1:04:43
please I actually would enjoy it so
1:04:45
bluey and the the extra-large episode is
1:04:47
my sanity corny this week what's
1:04:51
that how about you I'm
1:04:53
feeling super petty ooh
1:04:56
like extremely petty I want to
1:04:58
hear this I'm so excited okay
1:05:01
Aaron Megan
1:05:03
Markle girl why must
1:05:05
you so she announced
1:05:10
her American Riviera orchard a month or
1:05:13
so ago to much fanfare and of
1:05:15
course around the same time that Kate
1:05:17
was missing by the way yeah yeah
1:05:20
everyone's missing Charles has cancer Kate's missing
1:05:22
she's dropping a new line that frankly
1:05:25
objectively the branding of which when it
1:05:27
was dropped looked like something that was
1:05:30
gonna be we were gonna be told
1:05:32
was like a collaboration by in
1:05:35
between American Riviera orchard and TJ
1:05:37
Maxx like it didn't look
1:05:39
you know it looked kind of like a
1:05:41
knockoff of the Magnolia table Joanna Gaines
1:05:44
whole franchise uh-huh and you know there
1:05:46
a lot of people came out and
1:05:48
they were like had
1:05:51
a lot to say and I was like let Megan
1:05:53
be Megan but then she did me dirty Aaron do
1:05:56
you want to know the first product that she dropped
1:05:58
I I
1:06:00
have an idea, but I want you
1:06:02
to say it. It was strawberry jam.
1:06:05
And I just, oh, girl,
1:06:07
if you want, listen, the jamming and
1:06:09
pickling and preserving community, they're a tight-knit
1:06:12
bunch, okay? They workshop a lot online.
1:06:14
They are constantly showing mistakes they have
1:06:17
made or how they've come to, like,
1:06:19
a great recipe that they've come up
1:06:21
with. There are catastrophes, there's
1:06:23
pots boiling over. It looks like SVU
1:06:26
crime scenes, you know, crossover episode with
1:06:28
Ina Garten, just like strawberry sludge all
1:06:30
over the sink. And
1:06:33
she's got these, like, labels,
1:06:35
like she's not even pretending like she made the
1:06:37
jam, which I guess is better, that would annoy
1:06:39
me more. But I just want
1:06:41
to be like, I don't know. Do you know
1:06:43
what pectin is? Does your jam have pectin in
1:06:46
it? Like, what's your ethos? What's your aesthetic? What's
1:06:48
your goal? What's your fourth star with your jam?
1:06:50
What are you doing with this jam that other
1:06:52
people are not doing? Right, like
1:06:55
how are you different than Smucker's or
1:06:57
Beaumamon? Like, give us the backstory, my
1:06:59
friend. And there was just
1:07:01
none of that. And it was just, and
1:07:03
it's just plain strawberry. It
1:07:05
was just strawberry. I mean, which, like,
1:07:07
strawberry don't get me wrong. A lot
1:07:10
of, I'm a purist when it comes to a lot of
1:07:12
fruits, you know, but here's
1:07:14
my thing. You know, you know, because
1:07:17
you have received many a jar of jam
1:07:19
from me, that I label that shit all
1:07:21
myself, everything by hand. I cut every piece
1:07:23
of fruit, I wash it, I pick some
1:07:25
of it, I hot
1:07:28
can process it and I label it. She's
1:07:31
not even labeling her own jars. And if you actually
1:07:33
look at the pictures from the New York Post, the
1:07:35
labels aren't even affixed properly. Ugh.
1:07:38
And I know she didn't do that herself. And I just
1:07:40
feel like, I don't know,
1:07:42
stick to your polo show. I
1:07:45
will defend Meghan Markle until I'm blue
1:07:47
in the face from the stupidity of
1:07:49
the royal family. Totally, 100%. They
1:07:52
were awful to her and I will 100%, like fuck them.
1:07:57
Fuck them for the way they treated her. But
1:07:59
that. can be true and
1:08:01
she can also be annoying. And
1:08:03
she's being annoying. I
1:08:07
don't know. There's every time
1:08:09
there's a new thing, I'm just sort of like,
1:08:11
who is this for? Like what?
1:08:14
What is this audience? Like
1:08:16
I don't understand. Like they're
1:08:18
doing a new Netflix show
1:08:20
now about polo.
1:08:22
Yeah, with Ralph Lauren, I think.
1:08:26
Like, okay. At a
1:08:28
time when the eat the
1:08:30
rich clock is closer to midnight than
1:08:33
it has ever been in my lifetime.
1:08:36
Yeah, right. We've got we've
1:08:38
got like, people are
1:08:40
grave dancing every time a rich
1:08:42
person dies from some something stupid
1:08:44
or something regular. Like nobody is
1:08:46
afraid to celebrate bad
1:08:48
things happening to rich people. Yep. Even if
1:08:50
sometimes it's like, oof, that's a little rough.
1:08:53
Yeah, you're just, but it is still become,
1:08:55
it's become way more socially acceptable. I
1:08:57
don't what? What are you doing? What
1:09:00
are you doing, Megan? It's like
1:09:02
she's made something I love so much.
1:09:05
So boring. But like,
1:09:07
I just what are you like? I like
1:09:11
the polo reality show. I'm just bumping
1:09:13
up against that. So like, like,
1:09:15
to the horse horse game, we want
1:09:18
us all to be like, we love
1:09:20
Yeah, you're so you're such a regular
1:09:22
lady. Yeah, it's literally the most expensive. I
1:09:24
think it's like the most expensive sport you
1:09:27
can engage in. Well, Faberge egg baseball, I
1:09:29
think is a little bit more. You
1:09:32
know what, Aaron, you've got me once again, a little
1:09:34
bit more expensive than playing polo. But it's just like,
1:09:37
what are you what are you doing? Are you
1:09:39
trying? Like, do you think that Americans are at
1:09:41
a point right now where they're really impressed with
1:09:43
elaborate displays of wealth? People are fucking
1:09:46
sick of the Kardashians because of this.
1:09:49
Right. And we've got like hours and hours of
1:09:51
footage of them being like down to earth and
1:09:53
likable and silly for at least the first 15
1:09:55
seasons. Yeah, I don't even know how many seasons.
1:09:57
It's like 100. I don't know. I
1:10:00
just... But yeah, this was
1:10:02
just like, this was just boring to
1:10:04
me. It was just boring. Also
1:10:06
I think because I know
1:10:09
that American Riviera orchard has the word orchard in
1:10:12
it. I still guess I just thought it was
1:10:14
going to be like housewares or
1:10:16
something from the strawberry orchard. Is
1:10:18
that where it came from? Yield,
1:10:20
yield, strawberry orchard, or where I
1:10:23
come from, patch. Yeah, yeah,
1:10:25
that's the word for it. It just seems like
1:10:27
something... A few years ago there
1:10:29
was a couple of tech bros
1:10:31
who tried to purchase, I think it was called...
1:10:34
I think knitting.com, URL knitting.com.
1:10:37
And they were like, we're going to
1:10:39
disrupt the knitting market? There was all
1:10:41
these people... And all these women mostly...
1:10:43
Because it is mostly women who do
1:10:45
embroidery, crochet, knitting,
1:10:48
needlepoint, anything like that. They
1:10:51
were like, what the fuck are you doing? They
1:10:54
basically ran out of the business
1:10:56
because... Joanna Fabrics hive rose up.
1:10:58
Exactly. Well, RIP Joanna Fabrics. I
1:11:01
think they just declared bankruptcy. Oh,
1:11:03
sorry. Yeah, I know. They're
1:11:05
like the best... The best of the best. So much
1:11:07
better than Michael's and it makes me so sad. But
1:11:11
it's just... I don't know trying
1:11:13
to break into the crafty
1:11:17
gal space makes a lot of
1:11:19
sense. Unless you're
1:11:21
devotedly crafty. Right. That's
1:11:24
the thing. If she were someone... That's Erin, you
1:11:26
just hit the nail on the head. If she
1:11:28
were someone who over however many
1:11:30
years had shown us that she was
1:11:32
a crafty person or really loved being
1:11:34
in the kitchen or loved fruit, it
1:11:37
would make a little bit more sense. But this is just like...
1:11:40
Okay. Can strawberries even grow
1:11:42
in Montecito? Is it
1:11:44
too Mediterranean for them? Does
1:11:47
it... I don't know.
1:11:50
Here's the question. Do you think the fruit's
1:11:52
coming from Montecito? I mean, I would
1:11:54
hope so, given the name. Probably coming from
1:11:57
the Central Valley. It's because we grow... Like,
1:11:59
California is America's... fruit basket, bread basket. Thank
1:12:01
God for California. I know, everybody would be
1:12:04
fucked without us. I'm just gonna go ahead
1:12:06
and say that. Biggest port, grow
1:12:08
more vegetables than anybody else. Avocados,
1:12:11
you'd be SOL. But yeah, I don't
1:12:14
know. It just seems like she's trying to do
1:12:17
something, she's trying to get into a business that
1:12:19
is well established, doesn't really have a
1:12:21
need for more people doing it. And
1:12:24
she doesn't really know anything
1:12:26
about the parts of
1:12:28
the business. Right, like there's nothing
1:12:31
about her that screams, I'm an
1:12:33
ambassador for fruit. Yeah,
1:12:35
it's weird. It's
1:12:37
weird. Okay, I respect this. And like,
1:12:40
I think Meghan Markle did not deserve to be
1:12:42
bullied and treated so terribly by the royal
1:12:44
family. I think she is an engaging actress.
1:12:47
I don't think that she's Martha
1:12:49
Stewart and I don't think that she's Kamala Harris
1:12:51
and I don't think that she's any of these
1:12:53
things that she's trying to be. She should just
1:12:55
be her. Yeah, which,
1:12:58
you know, show us what it is. I
1:13:00
guess, I guess like... Tell us. We'll be,
1:13:02
because now, of course, after I have said
1:13:04
this is petty, you know I'm going to
1:13:06
be following everything this stupid company drops for
1:13:08
the next six months. Because
1:13:10
I'm basic and pathetic myself. Well,
1:13:13
at least she's not
1:13:15
making another podcast. Just a second. Good
1:13:18
point. Yeah, okay. That's all
1:13:20
the time we have for this week's episode of
1:13:22
Hysteria. That was a good one. It was a lean and
1:13:24
mean episode. You and I are both very
1:13:26
tired. We're very tired. Too much going on. But
1:13:29
we're still killing it. We're still doing what we can.
1:13:33
That's all we can do is what we can do. And I get
1:13:35
to see you tomorrow. Oh, yeah. We're gonna see
1:13:38
each other in person this week. I am. Oh,
1:13:40
I'm coming on Friday, by the way. Oh! I'm
1:13:43
RSVPing right now. Okay. I've taken that in.
1:13:45
Okay, Alyssa, thank you for being my ride
1:13:47
or die. I can't wait to see you
1:13:49
tomorrow. So, listeners, Hysteria at crooked.com is a
1:13:51
good way to get in touch. We love
1:13:53
you. You guys are the best. There will
1:13:55
be more Hysteria for you next week. Don't
1:14:05
forget to follow us at Crooked
1:14:07
Media on IG, Twitter and TikTok.
1:14:09
Subscribe to Hysteria on YouTube for
1:14:11
access to video versions of your
1:14:13
favorite segments and other exclusive content.
1:14:15
And if you're as opinionated as
1:14:17
we are, consider dropping us a
1:14:19
nice review. Hysteria is a Crooked
1:14:21
Media production. Caroline Reston is our
1:14:23
senior producer. Our executive producer is
1:14:25
me, Erin Ryan. And Alyssa Master
1:14:27
Monaco is our co-producer. Fiona Pestana
1:14:29
is our associate producer. The
1:14:31
show is engineered and edited by Jordan
1:14:33
Tanner. We get audio support from Kyle
1:14:36
Seglund and Charlotte Landis. Our video
1:14:38
producers are Rachel Gajewski and Megan
1:14:40
Passell. And thank you to Julia
1:14:42
Beach, Ewa Okolate, Adia Hill and
1:14:44
David Tolz for production support every
1:14:46
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