I talk about my continued medical garbage, writing, reading, and homebuying, panicking because of all of it. I also talk about grief, the grief book, shifting to more positive thinking, and aging pets. I also read a couple poems I wrote this we

Episode 96: Seven Days

Jul 24th, 2022 23m

This one is all about the procedure I just had, some other medical/health updates, and about the house hunt and some exciting developments with that – and how all of this happened in seven days. Lots of stuff crammed into one seven-day period.

Episode 95: Is Today for Poetry or Sadness?

Jul 17th, 2022 22m

Burnout, grief check in, looking for ways to be more positive, social isolation, a recent thing I wrote, rambling briefly about TV show Superstore and YouTubers Moist Critical and shoe0nhead. Yep, this episode has it all.https://www.youtube.co

Episode 94: Reflection and a Story Named Crushed

Jul 10th, 2022 28m 55s

Migraines, other health updates, generally reflecting on how functioning the last couple of weeks has been difficult on a lot of levels, and creativity are the main topics for this one. I also share a brand-new, never publicly shared story here

Episode 93: Supreme, My Ass: Another Rant About the American Dream/Nightmare

Jun 26th, 2022 17m 29s

Once again, I feel angry, frustrated, tired, but this time, full of fight, despite depression and grief, and I scream into the void about the decisions being made in this fucking country. Then I switch gears and talk about some media I’ve inter

Episode 92: The Millennial American Dream/Nightmare Rant

Jun 19th, 2022 16m 10s

I feel angry, frustrated, tired, lost, hopeless, and I honestly just scream into the void about it for a while. Then I talk about what makes me happy, trying to focus on coping, wishing I could get some perspective on happiness and how to maint

Episode 91: I Just Want to Call My Mom

Jun 5th, 2022 31m 13s

This one gets heavier than normal. I talk about emotional burnout, a very rough week, Pride, Indy 500, hobbies and routines feeling like forced obligations and wondering if it’s burnout or depression making it feel that way, and I also talk abo

Episode 90: 2022 Me Looking at 2012 Me in More Ways Than I Realized

May 29th, 2022 16m 42s

Self-love via Gaga circa 2010-2012 vs 2022, Anterior Pelvic Tilt, yoga, exercise, skateboarding, D&D, video games, reading, writing, COVID brain fog, emotional burn out, Indy 500, Texas and Oklahoma, and another glance at 2012 me vs 2022 me. Th

Episode 89: Mom, Movies, and Loneliness

May 15th, 2022 16m 30s

This one includes discussion about Mother’s Day, post-Mother’s Day blues, an enamel pin, writing, reading, skating, the Hatch Act, and the state of hard world stuff in general. I read a letter I wrote to Mom and ramble about missing movie theat

Episode 88: I Promised My Cat I’d Exist

May 8th, 2022 10m 40s

This one is heavy. It’s Mother’s Day, which snuck up on me, and Roe v Wade has me angry and sad, too. I talk about struggling with today being Mother’s Day, with the leaked information about Roe v Wade. This one is just heavy all around.As alw

Episode 87: Creatively Tapped, Mentally All Over the Place

May 1st, 2022 29m 55s

I ramble about creativity being hard, still feeling relatively quiet, and loving Greg Mania’s book Born to Be Public: A Memoir. I also talk about heavy topics weighing on me and not having the capacity to really deal with those items still. And

Episode 86: Mentally Burnt Out, Socially Unavailable

Apr 24th, 2022 10m 7s

Another shorter episode. I swear as soon as I can, I will record longer episodes again! Still worn out from being sick, still trying to recover from the sick-tired feeling that continues, generally still feeling less stamina, less mental capaci

Episode 85: Another Quick One from Recovery City

Apr 17th, 2022 7m 57s

Just a quick episode, still not 100%, want less awful than before. After recording, I realized that I am feeling truly depressed and worn out from recovering from being sick so recording was hard because of that. This is another quick update fr

Episode 84: Brief Update from Sickland

Apr 10th, 2022 5m 50s

Just a quick episode, still sick, but less sick. Felt horrible not doing an episode two weeks in a row. Talk about The Dropout finale, Community, Easter, and The Batman.As always, I swear and talk about a lot of heavy stuff; you've been warned

Episode 83: 2 Depressed 2 Struggle

Mar 27th, 2022 13m 1s

I ramble a lot. Mostly about the ways in which depression has affected me, and how I’ve been trying to more actively combat that this week (while also still being pretty depressed), but I talk about Mom and Grandma, missing them, and grappling

Episode 82: Rattled by a Dream

Mar 20th, 2022 8m 34s

In this one, I have trouble focusing on what I want to talk about, because I was shaken up by a dream I had right before waking up. I talk a little about D&D, COVID-19 masking changes, and the dream. I also read a listener email. Thank you for

Episode 81: A Week of Feeling Quiet

Mar 13th, 2022 13m 13s

In this one, I talk about feeling quiet, closer to feeling emotionally level despite feeling depressed and generally down. I talk briefly about the things that are probably weighing me down: weather changes, the war in Ukraine, medicine. I talk

Episode 80: Mom-Week Recap and Grief Exhaustion

Mar 6th, 2022 30m 24s

This one is all about how Mom-Week went, what we did on the day of the anniversary, and how I’m tired of being sad, of feeling weighed down by grief, and getting messages that feel timely. I also mention suicidal thoughts, but just in passing.

Episode 79: Mom-Week Begins, or Grasping at Straws to Stay Positive

Feb 28th, 2022 20m 25s

Depression, grief, a listener email, and I chicken out of sharing a poem this week – all spoke about while on a performance high from an exhilarating voice acting session.As always, I swear and talk about a lot of heavy stuff; you've been warn

Episode 78: Bad Thoughts Brain Time

Feb 20th, 2022 13m 29s

This one is about feeling horrible and struggling with suicidal thoughts. Stuff doesn’t bring someone back from the dead, no matter how hard you hold on to the items, it won’t bring somebody back. Also, I’m clinging to what Vox Machina represen

Episode 77: Homesick for Things that No Longer Exist

Feb 13th, 2022 19m 41s

I talk about the regret I feel surrounding the final month of Mom’s life and Grandma’s life, along with what I’m doing to stay in decent mental health headspace, and I try to take a moment to appreciate the hard work I’m doing and finding the c

Episode 76: Grief that Doesn’t Feel Like Mine to Have

Feb 6th, 2022 35m 57s

I talk about some heavy stuff in this one. Missing Mom, feeling the dread as March approaches. Crying over apples and sudden grocery-related memories, followed by feeling weird with strange, out-of-place grief. I mention reading The Perks of Be

Episode 75: The Eye Drama Migraine Times

Jan 30th, 2022 14m 15s

This one is about finishing Spider-Man/Deadpool, watching some shows(!!) – one of which is Peacemaker, which I might accidentally call Peacekeeper? (Sorry, it’s because I like The Hunger Games and mix up the words sometimes.) – and grief and le

Episode 74: A New Phase of Grief, and the First Ever Listener Email!

Jan 23rd, 2022 28m 36s

This one is about writing, a new stage of grief, the booster shot and how it’s affecting my self-care, what I’m doing to deal with emotional pain from the holidays and birthdays and how I could be doing something better about that probably. Rea

Episode 73: The Next Step in Vulnerability (also the Bad Jaw Episode)

Jan 16th, 2022 29m 14s

I talk about the booster shot, my birthday, writing and participating in creative activities, but mostly, I talk about reading and some of the stuff I’ve read recently or over the last year, because my jaw hurts and I feel quiet on the inside.