0:00

Give a little time for the child within

0:03

you, don't be afraid to be young

0:05

and free, undo the locks and

0:07

throw away the keys and take off your shoes

0:09

and socks and run you. It's

0:11

Jordan Jesse Go, I'm Jesse Thorne, America's Radio

0:14

Sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. I went and

0:16

saw one of those Godzilla

0:20

movies with my kid the other day.

0:22

Oh yeah? Yeah. Which

0:24

one? I just feel like- I'm

0:26

not sure about these days. If you're a Godzilla fan,

0:29

you're in hog heaven. Or

0:31

should I say Godzilla heaven?

0:33

Yeah, sure. We're going to say-

0:35

Probably there's a hog kaiju somewhere

0:37

in the- In my head.

0:40

I'll text Elliot Kaitlin. Thank you. In

0:43

my head, hog

0:45

heaven, scanned with God heaven,

0:48

God being short for Godzilla. But of course we

0:50

know that God heaven is just the regular heaven

0:52

that we're all going to go to when we

0:54

die except you. Me

0:58

and Matt will be there. Yeah, I'm going

1:00

to heaven. I didn't. Oh, congratulations Matt.

1:02

Yeah, I just found out I got

1:04

a letter in the mail. Oh wow,

1:06

from the publisher's clearing house. Yeah, they

1:08

said I want a million dollars and

1:10

eternal happiness in heaven. Oh Matt, that's

1:12

actually an oar. You gotta choose. I'll

1:16

take the money. You don't have to tell me.

1:18

I'm taking the money. I'm taking the clearing house. Can

1:20

you tell them? Call Ed McMahon and tell him. Well

1:23

he's in heaven. I already chose the money. Okay,

1:26

well there you go. Do you guys know any

1:28

dead guys? Do you guys think Ed McMahon's in

1:30

heaven or hell? Great

1:32

question. Yeah, I don't know a ton. I'm

1:34

going to go ahead and just put up

1:36

front here. I don't know

1:39

anything about Ed McMahon except

1:41

for that he laughed distinctively next

1:43

to Carson and he was in

1:45

publisher's clearing house commercials. Okay, so

1:47

now that we have all that information,

1:49

I'm going to say hell. Because

1:52

who in Hollywood in 1978 is not going

1:54

to hell? James

1:57

Cott. No, okay. Maybe.

2:00

Burt Reynolds? Nope. Okay.

2:04

Jane Fonda, there you go. Jane Fonda

2:06

is probably cool, right? He seems chill.

2:08

Yeah. He's got chill vibes.

2:10

He just seems like a chill guy. He's a

2:13

good dude. Yeah. Like that guy

2:15

volunteers at church. He brings food

2:17

to old people. Which

2:19

is himself. He brings like,

2:21

I'm feeding the elderly. Hwah!

2:24

That's what I call eating soup. I call

2:27

it feeding the elderly. Anyway,

2:30

I only- Pretty good Pacino off the

2:32

dough. That was a great song. Thank

2:34

you. He said, hwah, famous hwah. Famous

2:36

phrase from the sex of a woman.

2:38

Yeah. Um, I really only

2:41

knew the- You saw Godzilla. Yes. I

2:44

had seen, I mean, I saw Godzilla minus one. Right.

2:47

Which I love. Terrific movie. Terrific

2:49

movie. Really great. Yeah, really

2:51

love that. But I hadn't seen any of the Godzilla King

2:54

Kong movies. Right. From

2:56

the Godzilla King Kong-averse. From the,

2:58

yes, the legendary Monsterverse. The legendary

3:01

Monsterverse. Thank you. Yeah. Good

3:04

job. And I, honestly, I did not even

3:06

know that King Kong lives

3:09

in between the surface and center of

3:11

the Earth in a subterranean- Oh, you're

3:13

talking about Hollow Earth. Yeah. That's

3:16

where Kong lives. Yeah. I didn't even know that

3:18

about Kong. Yeah. I like

3:20

that they've woven into these movies a like, problematic

3:23

conspiracy theory. Yeah. That

3:26

they're using that as part of their storytelling. Yeah.

3:29

And I didn't know anything

3:31

about these. Okay. Yeah.

3:34

So you went into, so the most recent one out as

3:37

of this recording is like Godzilla X Kong, you

3:39

know, Final Empire or Empire Rising.

3:41

Yeah. Yeah. I

3:44

don't know what that- Yeah. Rising is probably in there.

3:46

Empire's probably in there. What? I'll tell

3:48

you- I saw the movie and liked it. I don't know what

3:50

the subtitle is. Yeah. So I

3:52

only knew these movies primarily from

3:54

occasionally another guest on, a guest

3:56

on Jordan Jesse Go, Had

3:58

seen one of these movies. Movies recently a

4:00

you it also seen at right and

4:02

so I would be the i would

4:04

be sitting there while the two of

4:07

you have any a discussion that sounded

4:09

completely insane sir I'm ah in there

4:11

was very passionate and about these movies.

4:13

I mean it's not that you I

4:15

have like I'm a don't mean to

4:17

suggest any one was taking these movies

4:19

as anything other than what they were

4:21

intended to do but like I just

4:23

hadn't seen any of them a way

4:25

it turns out it doesn't matter. a

4:27

success half yeah but it's. Barely.

4:29

A movie isn't barely anything, ah,

4:32

there's no clear reason why anything

4:34

a half as yet they have

4:36

not, they have not taken any

4:39

care. Weave together.

4:42

Visually nor script wise what's happening

4:44

to human characters and what's happening

4:46

to the monsters? yeah they look

4:48

ends and as a look and

4:50

seems story wise like they're from

4:52

two completely different things right? and

4:54

one of those things as a

4:56

Playstation Four game and used as

4:58

a sense like ah. I.

5:01

Would say my daughter Grace

5:03

He. Hated the parts with

5:05

the people. oh I have to say

5:07

not a Dan Stevens fan. Ah I

5:09

was gonna say like. Relative

5:12

to other movies in this broad

5:14

categories, her movies and I watch

5:16

the movie Rampage on Blu Ray

5:18

recently Icu blu ray so I

5:20

know looks great a little something

5:23

about this I will say. That.

5:27

While they don't. Do

5:29

anything for a reason. I'm

5:32

in. Their story was inscrutable

5:35

to me. Or. possibly

5:37

absent. Are hard to say which.

5:39

yeah. Every single one of

5:41

these actresses grass yeah totally every single

5:43

so all time I'm thinking like gosh

5:46

this person's during a great plan John

5:48

F like think about like you do

5:50

you watch her fast and furious movie

5:52

or and you know my I do

5:55

Yes I do watch what are you

5:57

watch one of those movies and you

5:59

know like Jason State I'm Jason State

6:01

Homes and that's great. He knows how

6:03

to be in a movie right? Some

6:06

don't like have a cast your like

6:08

why is this person in a movie

6:10

served as a citizen since shouldn't be

6:12

on a soap opera right fit or

6:14

is it wasn't same as in Brazil

6:17

for soccer is the very air everyone

6:19

Him: Godzilla X com middle of the

6:21

earth yes was great I was like

6:23

as a man Differences: I did watch

6:25

this person do nonsense I forget the

6:28

name of the actor but the guy

6:30

who plays the like heroic podcast her

6:32

yeah he's great in it. And.

6:35

I liked are seeing a hero to

6:38

podcasts are on screen yeah a lot

6:40

of seeing our nobody I know conspiracy

6:42

Theory pipe, gaster be accessories primarily hero

6:44

to my dry cleaner the successor for

6:46

right yeah through his the you Fo

6:49

podcast really loud music while covering up

6:51

to the counter. Yeah another thing of

6:53

like oh isn't this is taking the

6:55

the real world inspiration from this is

6:58

ah upsetting yes but. We. That

7:00

you know in this world mothers are all

7:02

the hollow Earth Israel. So this guy's house

7:04

coming from this is Brian Tyree Henry that

7:07

it is. So. I forget the

7:09

guy's name but I do a guy like him

7:11

in that and I like him another to yeah

7:13

he's great, great everything or everybody's great and also

7:15

King Kong is great news. Ah I

7:17

like how he makes sweet little faces.

7:20

He does and straps and this went

7:22

to unpick Frappe guy yeah you let

7:24

you travel a row a trap moot

7:26

trap movie right by I to I

7:29

was wondering why you worse spreading your

7:31

specific time med supreme stalking him visitors

7:33

I your travel at recess trap lover

7:35

Yep. Beats

7:38

trap movie to find me in

7:40

the to have gotten more famous

7:42

quotes from I ah I have

7:44

to say. I.

7:46

Have zero complaints about going in colds

7:49

to see Godzilla vs. Com a more

7:51

a mind whenever The way to

7:53

go in? Yeah. Because otherwise I

7:55

might expected to be a different kind of good

7:57

cause one of the other ones was. The

8:01

same Stevens always do have an Australian

8:03

assess assess idled you know dance team

8:05

since from down and Megrahi physicist who

8:08

enough half an Australian analogies not even

8:10

doing a half American, half English accents

8:12

he's doing a half assed Australian accent.

8:14

like it when he takes comes to

8:17

that com had a bit Ada has

8:19

many brags about it. Now he's a

8:21

total dick a man and he were

8:24

jetted out of foot and great job.

8:26

I did take him into fountain. I

8:29

would. I like getting caught. Came

8:31

to let everybody know he needed

8:33

a tease out. yes a Cessna.

8:35

It's very expressive, very expressive. I

8:37

would say of all the movies

8:39

I've ever seen, this is the

8:41

most. Doctor Desoto. oh

8:43

what a know of another reference ah that's of

8:45

I know the reference own team and other as

8:47

my nine for so excited that I know as

8:49

yeah it's i use a mouse dark but he's

8:51

a doctor was a mouse always a dentist who

8:53

the mouth is a mouse and and us or

8:55

doctors. Are. They. Think.

8:57

So we're going to have tasks are destined

8:59

just a second by wiped away because I

9:01

have explained Dr to sign up. On.

9:04

Will. That's actually kind of it. He's

9:06

a mouse that is a dentist. Oh

9:08

could be a doctor and nice nice

9:10

a doing dentistry on a white. A

9:12

big was a big wolf who's like

9:14

he's trying to eat him. but then

9:16

you. they're all you as I'm wrong

9:18

with your teeth and he was in

9:20

Downton Abbey. You down here now and

9:22

I'm having an affair with Sir Thomas

9:24

who later became the Boneless yeah scandal

9:26

I node salesman. Gimme more Yeah yeah

9:28

gimme more juice to do. The guy

9:30

who wrote down Nabih his in the

9:32

House of Lords? Yeah. Like Isis. Ethical

9:34

Conservatives un solo seats Pro that yeah

9:36

yeah not so much going on who

9:39

he thinks it's good that there were

9:41

serve as nervous as I made a

9:43

television show about the way things should

9:46

be ridiculous when women while panel routed

9:48

it was cried when caf what when

9:50

women over was like to know mode

9:52

where movable just no way. I legit

9:55

and proceso anyway the mouse climbs around

9:57

in the mouth of us have. Off

10:00

can just like Dan don't even a

10:02

dozen the mouse as King Kong to

10:04

explode his tooth out with a helicopter

10:06

him. Anyway, I just I just

10:09

was glad I've I don't know if I would

10:11

have gone to see if I hadn't heard you

10:13

talking about the rest of them sir. So it's

10:15

yeah, Valley so so knowledgeably. I don't think I

10:17

don't I don't. You know I will begin Needed

10:20

as exists one of them is the most fun

10:22

and crazy. Okay ah out that you need to

10:24

go back but you might have a nice Tennessee

10:26

do. But yeah this one this one was was

10:29

pretty bonkers in a way that I thought was

10:31

really fun. Now my what are My daughter was

10:33

like God. Yeah. There was some parts

10:35

that may be felt a little bit racist most

10:37

you like but you know that's true of I'm.

10:40

A. That's true of the Peter Jackson King

10:42

Kong and I was like I like to

10:44

Peter Jackson King Kong. The level of

10:46

racism was so high. Memo V I

10:48

couldn't believe that no one told him.

10:51

Very thoughtful review from Grace. Yeah, I

10:53

have. I agree. Move Graces the creases

10:55

eight and S J W Unfair Grace

10:57

Very glad there is a good snowflake.

10:59

They're. Very

11:01

glad to have done that as a good job

11:03

and planting the Woke Mind virus. Well

11:07

I first I plan to move into My

11:10

Wife. I'm in my elder? Sure, Yes! But

11:13

I want to get into this weather dentist.

11:15

Or Doctors because I right before you

11:18

showed up Jordan I found out that

11:20

our desks dad was a dentist. Oh

11:22

my God. for as still is a

11:24

dentist this will be fun with murder.

11:26

Find out she's a beloved Sand of

11:28

comic. Have a friend of Jordan Jesse

11:30

Go! She has a brand new record

11:32

called sont. Sierra. Kata

11:34

High Sierra. Say. Thank you so

11:36

much for bring me into the the

11:38

dental conversation. Yeah it a report Hours yeah.

11:40

Never put up a dental bones and we

11:42

just broke out of answer is. Yes,

11:45

Yes, I yeah, the spawn of

11:48

a dentist and a dental hygienists.

11:50

Oh. Okay who have retired

11:52

and of a big drama

11:54

to our young Seattle. is definitely

11:56

on you are they don't do i

11:58

said you know i I think it's always

12:00

a joke, right? It's always a joke. Sure.

12:03

Like, they're not. And then, maybe they are. And I

12:05

don't know. I think you can... It's

12:07

different, right? Like, they gotta do different things. They gotta

12:09

do the teeth thing. Would your

12:11

dad know more doctor stuff than other

12:14

dads? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's not true.

12:16

Like, but not dentist doctor stuff. Like...

12:19

He would... I think he does because, yeah,

12:21

they had to go through certain, like, dissecting human cadavers

12:25

and stuff. Right. To put it down.

12:28

I remember that distinctly. Like, being like, oh, I don't

12:30

think I could do that. Right. But

12:32

that's the thing they had to do, even though they were just

12:34

doing the mouse later. Yeah. So, yeah, I think it's kind of

12:36

a little more comprehensive. Anyway, pretty fun. Did he have

12:38

anything to say about other parts of the body? Not

12:40

my specialty. Not

12:43

my, I cannot comment. Hey, if it's outside

12:45

the mouth, yeah. No, I would say he

12:47

gets into the, he gets into the kind

12:49

of weird diets

12:51

a lot. Okay. He

12:54

kind of would do the like, oh, I'm doing

12:56

all plant-based or all carnivore. And it

12:59

fluctuates and it's not good for him

13:01

to tell. And he watches

13:03

a lot of YouTube videos. So, you know, I'm grateful

13:05

he doesn't go down the YouTube path that a lot

13:07

of other dads go down, but he does go down

13:09

some like, strange nutrition YouTube path. Okay.

13:12

But how are his teeth? I think

13:14

they're fine. Okay. But I think,

13:16

you know, like many, like many people in

13:19

their professions, they maybe don't care about their

13:21

own as much, you know? Okay. Oh,

13:24

interesting. Okay. And

13:27

then I'm, I don't know, do it on me. Right. I

13:29

don't know how to take my work home with me. Exactly. How

13:31

to take my work home. Why would I brush? Why would I

13:34

flog? Sure. No, they're

13:36

fine, you know, but they're, you know, it's nothing, it's

13:38

nothing maybe above the yuj. That's interesting. I guess

13:40

I maybe would think that, you

13:42

know, he would, a dentist would be like, oh, I

13:44

got, I can't go into an

13:46

appointment with, you know, yellowed or, you

13:49

know, teeth. But, you

13:51

know, maybe, maybe, oh, well, listen.

13:53

Is this why? In the family,

13:55

you know, I think he was good

13:58

to clean the children's teeth. But

14:00

and and my mom maybe a little bit more is this

14:02

the hygienist that's maybe a little bit The

14:04

like cosmetic side of like oh, make sure you're

14:07

flossing and maybe here want some whitener, you know

14:10

But on the the dental side, maybe it's

14:12

more just hey, you got a cavity. We'll

14:14

fill that bad boy in You know, when

14:17

did she start pushing whitener eight?

14:20

Right in the womb The

14:23

baby teeth done right then the new ones

14:25

will go in My mom drinks whitener

14:27

in hopes that it makes way into

14:29

the child keeps in there somehow Did

14:31

they do your like teeth cleaning

14:34

and stuff? They did. Oh, wow Yeah,

14:36

I would have I would have assumed

14:38

that they traded like I would have

14:40

not traded where your mom did the

14:42

dentistry But

14:44

like they would send you

14:46

to someone else's clinic that was

14:48

like their colleague You know what?

14:50

I mean or a different dentist in your dad's

14:52

practice Friends

14:55

and that's now that they've retired I've been referred to

14:57

a friend of his But you

14:59

know, yeah, they kept it in in-house because

15:01

I was there already, you know That was

15:03

like I grew up, you know playing

15:05

behind the charts Playing

15:11

behind the charts what's that happening back there?

15:13

I can all the root canals. Yeah, and

15:15

I would do some receptionist duties You

15:18

know, maybe maybe I held it. Maybe I hold a tool

15:20

or two. Don't tell Hey,

15:23

maybe I did I don't know Matt

15:25

tell OSHA OSHA she admitted Like

15:32

shatters ropes dropping OSHA says

15:34

you have two choices Fine

15:39

well, I'll take the million but yeah,

15:42

yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, we're going to

15:44

live this life Were

15:49

your parents married

15:52

Dental hygienist and dentist teen like

15:54

weird, right? Yeah, what point

15:56

did they romance at what point did they

15:59

choose their career? At what point

16:01

did they come to work together or

16:03

not? Yeah, so it's all

16:05

good. Don't you guys worry.

16:07

I think they met in dental school

16:10

and then worked separately for a while.

16:12

Dental school romances. Oh, it gets really

16:14

cute. Yes, like, ooh, you're gonna...

16:17

Yeah, yeah. Who's flossing who?

16:19

Who's flossing who? Yeah, I know who's flossing who.

16:23

Your great new stand-up album,

16:25

Fun. Thank you, thank

16:27

you. Your parents were in the audience while

16:30

you were recording it. True, and so was

16:32

Jordan. And so was I. So thank you

16:34

so much for coming. Oh my God, it

16:36

was fun. Jordan

16:39

went to dental school with you. I was

16:41

just there to... Nothing weird. That's when they

16:43

started seeing each other. Meet your dad. We're

16:46

wanting to meet up for a drink. He's

16:48

like, can you come to the taping and

16:50

we'll go somewhere nearby. Right, right. Classic

16:52

dental school shenanigans. The

16:56

album's hilarious, so much fun to see. Buy

16:59

it, listen to it, get it.

17:01

So, so funny. Sierra's the funniest.

17:03

The album, there's some

17:05

saucy material about

17:07

pornography and stuff. Oh my God. Are

17:10

you there? You basically...

17:12

To be clear, you transitioned

17:14

directly from introducing your parents

17:16

into incest porn. Sure,

17:19

sure, sure. Talking about it,

17:21

not you. Yeah, just talking about it. Not performing

17:23

it. Yeah, no, of course. I think I think...

17:25

Come on up, mommy. It's a big day. Like,

17:27

listen, it's the big day. I gotta do it

17:29

for the stage. Yeah,

17:32

I think they're... I

17:34

started when I was a teenager.

17:37

They would drive me to open mics. They were

17:39

always very supportive. They kind of...

17:41

I've sat through... I think the worst is

17:43

sitting through other people's sets with them at

17:45

the time that were like not the best

17:48

and then also very raunchy. So

17:50

that was pretty funny. But

17:52

I think, as a result, I think we kind

17:54

of broke that. Barrier down

17:56

early, but then at the same time, I also

17:59

was counting on the fact that... that they don't

18:01

hear very well. Well, my mom, sorry,

18:03

mother, but yeah. So I think

18:05

so that they're like, oh, you know, you look great, but what do you

18:07

say? She listens, by the way, so I'm glad. I

18:09

know, I know. Not well, not well. But she does listen.

18:11

But she does, she tries to put the voice. It's kind

18:13

of a white noise thing for her. I'll be able to

18:15

help her get to sleep. Oh, yeah, yeah, no, great

18:17

voices for that. I mean, you know, so I think that's

18:20

what they say. Thank you, thank

18:22

you. Go to sleep,

18:24

Sarah. Dream of tea.

18:26

Dream of tea. Dream of

18:29

tea. Wish, wash, wish, wash. Thank

18:31

you for doing it. So when they would, they would take,

18:33

okay, so you also mentioned in the record that

18:35

you started

18:45

doing standup as a teen. They

18:49

would take you, make sense. Everything's

18:51

adding up so far. You're in

18:53

La Cagna de Flint Ridge. Everybody's got to give you

18:55

a ride to the ice house in Pasadena. Yeah, yeah,

18:57

yeah. Is that what you were doing up in Mike?

19:00

Oh, I mean, Burbank Floppers, one of

19:02

the first. Really? I was going to

19:04

like, Comedy Store and Laugh Factory and stuff, so that was

19:06

a lot of fun with them. But ice house was a

19:08

dream. Very close, very close. So

19:11

you're going to these standup

19:13

clubs. Your parents are

19:15

staying? Sometimes. Are

19:17

they sitting with you? Sometimes.

19:19

Oh my gosh. Wow. In

19:22

the beginning probably, but yeah,

19:24

then of course it gets to be too much. You

19:27

got to drop them off. Sure. Then

19:29

I learn how to drive and figure that out.

19:31

That's really nice and sweet. That's cool. Yeah,

19:34

yeah. No, very, very cute. And

19:36

they, you know, and I had been a basketball

19:39

player before and they come to the basketball game.

19:42

It was kind of like to them, like, oh, she's doing another hobby. We

19:44

should support her. And they would bring Orange Slices

19:46

to the Laugh Factory to hand out to all

19:49

the other comics. To the

19:51

potluck host, you know. Buy

19:54

their favor. But

19:56

no, it was I think, yeah, kind of seeing it as like,

19:58

okay, she's just going to do it. This refine and

20:00

then you know your we have spiraled

20:03

out. My parents. This. Came

20:05

up in therapy. Not. All

20:07

that long ago. Because

20:09

my therapist was had mentioned to me that

20:11

her kids had played baseball, I think they

20:13

play baseball much more seriously than I do.

20:16

I think they played like in club teams

20:18

or whatever you know played in college or

20:20

something. But leases

20:22

and gimme specifics about her family. But

20:24

yeah, it came up. And.

20:26

Ah A any are you talking about. You

20:28

know when you have that. Serious

20:31

sports kid lifestyle you taking drive

20:34

your kids all over everywhere As

20:36

like you know when I played

20:38

sport has. I took the

20:40

bus to practice and games and then

20:42

I just hope that someone elses parents

20:44

would take me home. And if they

20:46

wouldn't I just take the first half

20:48

of. It says you're like

20:51

made in the your parents' him of your

20:53

games. I'm like no they add stuff to

20:55

do. why would they wanted kids play bass.

20:59

That. Seems like maybe the more normal weight

21:02

ago I have a thumbnail by he

21:04

i'm here Know maybe they thought you

21:06

were going to they know you're gonna

21:08

piss wasn't. Like

21:10

I you we assess the I

21:12

realize it's possible that like my

21:14

friend Joe these parents signed me

21:16

up for baseball. mm yeah like

21:18

of my my parents rugby stream

21:20

gone a lot blue Mondays and

21:22

Wednesdays from four to six thirty

21:24

is probably find prizes doing drugs

21:26

assess assess ah now I saw

21:28

I don't ask my therapist and

21:30

of questions about herself I know

21:32

nothing about yeah can about mean

21:34

all time and. I

21:37

feel like yeah with my therapist. If I do

21:39

I kind of feel like the him fleming not

21:41

personal rights. Yeah I do tell a therapy summer

21:44

backers are change from like I don't am I

21:46

supposed to who was like no one of me

21:48

like creepy and yeah know she has to fear

21:50

for her. Since actually a lid

21:52

I would be of you know I g

21:55

I also do tell therapy and my therapist

21:57

background does not change the the here therapist

21:59

and like. One on the road or something. He

22:01

or she. Is so go So be like

22:03

do and I think like.com friends some time

22:06

okay know and then you know and sometimes

22:08

I don't ask so maybe I should. From

22:10

her she's er, en route thirty five

22:12

years since I gotta. You gotta

22:15

bring. Clinton's. As an event

22:17

they'll find a place in central valley.

22:19

My therapist listen to Hollywood Handbook so

22:21

really wow that's cool is very clear

22:23

she doesn't listen to any my podcast

22:26

to confuse that would be inappropriate shows

22:28

and things were that would be a

22:30

A A A good thing but she

22:32

wasn't to Hollywood Handbook and eyes because

22:35

her nephew told her to have so

22:37

many call it a house Israel's if

22:39

you paid her the up would seedless

22:41

nearby town I could you we could

22:43

use it. I mean like. I

22:46

would have to ask her because it's.

22:48

You. Know I mean it's three figures in

22:51

our for a therapist these days and now

22:53

I'm ah the rich you might I mean

22:55

I could submit the Superbowl and see what

22:57

happens to do he as once he would

23:00

songs about with warm me up and. Others

23:03

are concerned about bow I'm going to do

23:05

with our mail. I am I okay. Should

23:07

you be submitting the Superville. I

23:09

mean I have if you tell me what

23:11

that is. Minimum Fun does offer health insurance

23:14

so A I got a sign up

23:16

for that busy as part that's why me

23:18

therapies right as I'll fail doing my number.

23:20

Laser procrastinate God exists in there. I do

23:23

hate signing up for throw rocks gotta

23:25

make any pass. More new log and nice

23:27

day and you just send her this podcast

23:29

and ask what software man you know you

23:31

know how are their health insurance companies

23:33

could defeat me in the war Two were

23:36

not spend any money on my health care.

23:38

Years. It would be if after eyes

23:41

sent him the clicks the saying that

23:43

said turn on my health insurance I

23:45

had to call someone and ask them

23:47

to. Yeah. Man I just

23:49

never go to the doctor. yeah there

23:51

needs a slime Still signed up at

23:53

a gym just because I also after

23:55

I'd I went there and and signs

23:58

and will you call it deactivated. My

24:00

gym account? Yeah, they're like okay now just

24:02

call this number. And. Complete

24:04

it and I'm like you've mother and

24:06

father gets. I am. I love the

24:08

Caucasus, I love the kernel of the

24:11

makes off. if if if some I

24:13

could do something be a phone call

24:15

rather than online portal. Even.

24:17

If it was in addition to the online portal

24:19

I liked, I don't like the online portal so

24:21

much that I would be like oh my god

24:23

this is great even if I had to be

24:25

on hold for a long time. A lowly a

24:27

me. There's. Like on the

24:30

phone. I feel like I'm.

24:33

Interrupt Who would say

24:36

something? About

24:38

Birth like. It's not that I think

24:40

I'm going to do a bad job

24:42

rocking to them like for years. I

24:44

booked Bull's Eye and had to cold

24:46

call publicists and stuff and trick them

24:48

into thinking that it was a good

24:50

idea to set their clients onto my

24:52

show that know and listen to. A

24:56

lot of evolution. Best. Sister.

24:58

Oh else that doesn't know I

25:00

was an arrest. some of their

25:02

vis a method mass therapists who

25:04

was there. There's ever anything. Else housing

25:06

and at the therapist has ever listen to them

25:08

speak. And. Yeah. Right

25:11

in That smart As long as he doesn't

25:14

tell us about it, I'm fine. Rebecca nice

25:16

not bring it up with as it's weird.

25:19

Yeah, I think I think it's

25:22

something like I'm imposing on P

25:24

B O or something. I like

25:26

so much about the call. Is.

25:29

I probably have three other things I'm

25:31

confused about that I could just knock

25:33

out in all my some floating confusions.

25:35

My do that worried I can get

25:38

tossed into anything so I was trying

25:40

to. You know any a lot of

25:42

course advertisement calls or whatever like your

25:44

and I don't pick up spam calls

25:47

but like in that like I think

25:49

some of those trying to cancel cable

25:51

and it's not didn't cancel to. Certainly

25:54

airborne and your chance I get a

25:56

house as best as I just went

25:58

on to honor. Oh that's what

26:01

I needed. events you know because I feel

26:03

the there sir jobs to talkie back in

26:05

and ran. I. Didn't have a New Zealand

26:07

I know. and my ah. My like you and

26:09

I want you to do well and you

26:11

know than I do just that. Jr. And

26:14

I know some sort in the industry

26:16

don't want to be hurting your own

26:18

answer. Your mother wind and they proper

26:20

are you. I'm use. That reason and

26:23

I go Yeah, you're right. center

26:25

know, Cel isis. The greatest fear

26:27

of my childhood. And

26:29

I had a you know, Junkies.

26:32

Broke into my house and shit. But.

26:34

Like I think the thing I was

26:36

most afraid of was answering the phone

26:39

and then one of my parents friends

26:41

thinks it's my parents like. Also hi

26:43

Judy. And said that I was. My

26:45

worst fear is I will have you come

26:47

back from that. I was a little bit

26:49

of may have been pretending to be Judy

26:52

for years now. Every time that friend calls

26:54

yeah, pick up where you are Me off

26:56

if that was what it would this was

26:58

about mean if it was just about secretly

27:00

murder in my mother and wearing her clothes

27:02

around pretending to be heard that I could

27:04

obviously do work as hard for me. That's

27:06

like he did that. He ran that motel

27:08

for you sir. Are

27:10

you really I said messier

27:13

therapy? Ah. I'm just. I'm Karen

27:15

Like that. I. See,

27:17

I imagine you flip out some moments

27:19

ago or so. Easy surges. Less a

27:22

discount for a clip on the I.

27:24

All Instagram Real solicitors, Also yeah

27:26

it's convenient. can you put him in half

27:28

speed so she has time to process? Okay,

27:31

it's gonna increase because said i'm sorry no

27:33

and my willing to spend the extra money

27:35

or to get the high quality answer. I

27:37

don't want to rush through this thing habit.

27:39

This would give Matt some time to pull

27:42

about Jesse's traumas is like a little break

27:44

and come across my will back into the

27:46

second hundred. Disagree. It's

28:01

Jordan Jesse Go, I'm Jesse Thorne,

28:03

America's Radio Sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy

28:05

detective. Every episode of Jordan Jesse

28:07

Go is brought to you by

28:09

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28:11

member of maximumfund.org, thank you members,

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We're also supported this week by the

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Jesse. I Am legitimately looking forward to

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having a Lumi Labs microdose gummy when

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The you have a maybe relax, a read

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think that's what's gonna happen. That yeah it's

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Jj. Go I You can share a

31:17

little bit of their book news of

31:19

the both. What's the bookies? but ah

31:21

well. if you're listening to this week

31:23

comes out I will be at the

31:25

Y'all West. Why? a Book festival May

31:27

third and fourth and beautiful Santa Monica

31:29

May third. That's ticketed event May fourth.

31:31

Free for everybody. Tons of fun events

31:33

at talks, panels, games, game shows. It's

31:35

gonna be a blast. Lots of great

31:37

authors there would love to see. Some

31:39

folks can be selling book signing books,

31:41

giving away books. You look at that

31:43

schedule at Y'all west.com and. that even if

31:45

you can't make it out to the event

31:47

or you can buy books through the all

31:49

west web sites and some of that money

31:52

goes to cool programs for kids in under

31:54

funded public schools so us yes one preorder

31:56

our new graphic novel youth group as you

31:58

want a copy of bubbles want anything written

32:00

by the fine folks at Yall West, the

32:02

money goes to a good cause and you

32:04

get yourself a nice book out of the

32:06

deal. That's a great time for all you

32:08

librarians out there in the Jordan Jesse Go

32:10

listening audience. Actually, let

32:12

me reverse that. For you, the

32:15

non-librarian in the Jordan Jesse

32:17

Go listening audience. You, the one guy.

32:20

Don't worry about whether you should go

32:22

to Yall West. For all

32:24

the rest of you, do go to

32:26

Yall West and check

32:28

out Jordan's new book too. And

32:31

hey, one more thing I do want to

32:33

say, RE new upcoming book

32:35

youth group from me and Bowen McGurdy,

32:37

the YA horror comedy. It sucks. No,

32:40

Jesse, it's really good. I thought you

32:42

said, I got the impression

32:44

you were going to say that it sucks. That

32:46

would be a fun marketing technique. Just

32:48

say there's one thing is that it

32:51

doesn't suck. But then people

32:53

will read and go, it's pretty good. He was wrong.

32:55

Yeah, that's true. Yeah, maybe I'll give that a shot

32:57

for the next round of promo. But I

32:59

did get a nice message, a lovely DM from someone

33:01

who pre-ordered it from a local indie bookstore. I haven't

33:03

gotten one of those messages in a while

33:05

and I was thrilled to get it.

33:08

This person got it from Print, a

33:10

bookstore in Portland, Maine. They're online at

33:12

printbookstore.com. Looks like a gorgeous store with

33:14

a lot of fun events. printbookstore.com. You

33:17

can pre-order youth group there or anywhere

33:19

you get a book. And if somebody

33:21

pre-orders it in their local indie bookstore

33:24

and they send you a note that says that

33:26

they did that and what the bookstore is, you're

33:29

down to plug the bookstore. I'm

33:31

plugging local indies on the show.

33:33

This is exposure, national exposure for

33:35

your local store. And this show

33:37

does not go out internationally, I

33:39

guess I should say. Yeah, no,

33:43

we have what's called geogating. It's

33:45

been instituted by the European Union

33:47

to prevent our program from spreading

33:49

around American borders. That's okay, we

33:52

didn't need the Swedes anyway. Yeah,

33:55

we'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jesse Go.

34:10

It's Jordan Jesse Doe. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's

34:12

Radio Sweetheart. Jordan Morris Boy Detective. In

34:15

Sierra Cotto, dental dam breaker.

34:18

The dams broke in Jordan. The

34:21

groundwater's polluted. Yeah, it's

34:23

a mess. What

34:26

did you do when other kids were afraid to go

34:29

to the... Did anyone... Oh my

34:31

God. Sorry, I'm getting back to this

34:33

dentist thing. Sure, it's a rich vein. Has

34:36

any of your friends ever gone to get dental

34:38

care from your dad? I guess

34:40

like cousins probably. I don't know if my...

34:42

Not my school friends. Cousins are not friends. Cousins are

34:44

enemies. Yeah, you're right. Cousins are a type

34:47

of enemy. Get them out of here. Yeah, yeah. So

34:49

yeah, you gotta find them. Their moms are too much like your moms. And

34:52

you can't have that. Yeah. Because

34:54

then how do you know who you are? Sorry, Deb.

34:57

Yeah. You're at least half

34:59

my mom and it's not gonna cut it. Oh, Auntie

35:01

Deb. I do have an Auntie Deb. She's... You

35:04

got a Deb? Oh yeah, I got a Deb. You remember

35:06

Deb or Debbie? Deb, I think. I

35:10

always knew Deb is Deb. Nice. But

35:12

when I've been back there lately, she's going

35:14

by Debbie. Whole new woman. If you need

35:16

a lifestyle... By the way, if you need

35:18

a lifestyle transition real estate agent in the

35:20

Northern Virginia area, go talk to

35:22

Debbie Miller. Wow. She's gonna hook you

35:24

up. Sounds great. I feel like a

35:27

real fucking... I don't got a Deb. Oh my God, I get

35:29

a Deb. I mean, we can introduce you to my Deb. Could

35:31

you please? I don't know. She'll

35:33

take you. Will she be my aunt? I know a

35:35

41-year-old guy who needs it. She

35:38

might be overbooked, but... Okay. Yeah,

35:40

so you can squeeze me in. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll see.

35:42

Yeah. You know what? Yeah.

35:46

Sure. These are two great aunts.

35:49

Sandra. That's great, actually. Regular aunts

35:51

who are great. Can I suggest something, Jordan?

35:54

Get Sandra a ball gown. And

35:57

Sign her up for a few balls. Think

36:00

she's a dab. Than

36:02

my word. That's

36:04

just my work Ss officer had

36:06

them on top secret. What are

36:09

the sounders addresses this? I suppose

36:11

that's the center of down Yes

36:13

I've lost of as to bring

36:15

her to New War. Or

36:18

something somewhere that has those seamless

36:20

neurons well then specific got out

36:22

of him his balls or baseball

36:24

field? look at somebody already going

36:26

as one of it's the right

36:28

season course most yet. You.

36:31

Ever go to read Deaths? Settled

36:33

convention center did you go to? Didn't

36:35

believe that leaders rabble with your with

36:37

your parents to. Say. Yes, yes

36:39

it was a Big. It was very very honestly

36:42

the best. Some of the best trips oh my

36:44

gosh you Thursday to go to the dental conventions

36:46

and they give you their used to give you

36:48

so much free. Toothbrush: In

36:50

his assess and a set of rules

36:52

of animals, them tiling her arm and

36:54

then it's you know as the years

36:56

passed they got they got less free.

36:58

With that. Said i got

37:00

other aware or maybe they got to

37:02

keep which is piled up us via.

37:05

Well dental chairs been getting cheaper and cheaper.

37:08

For. So that's probably what's. In

37:11

my experience ah I mean just fair.

37:13

I I've been using my old dentists

37:15

in West Hollywood forever. Ah, I live

37:17

in Altadena now. Yeah and I'm like

37:19

discussed I'm truck and and over there.

37:21

I'm not like by says but it

37:24

was just like this is too much

37:26

what am I do and and spikes

37:28

and it's my portal thing. It just

37:30

takes so long to like. Sign up

37:32

for a new medical professional or I

37:34

like I'm in with these people. I

37:36

am in their system. Like. Way

37:39

I get a fucking tests

37:41

on my birthday. Radiographers, Nato,

37:43

The Jobbers Day. But someone else gets

37:45

on the phone. You sign up with them. I know

37:48

aura. I mean I get out of me

37:50

to put you back and probably know a

37:52

guy is maybe some says basket I'm going

37:54

to now friend or. family

37:57

i did find a new tenth

38:00

in Altadena. Oh, can't beat that.

38:02

Guys want to guess what it's called? Altadentist.

38:06

It's called Altadental. Yeah,

38:09

I know. I'm so excited to go. I

38:12

have an appointment for later this month. Altadental. I've

38:14

been going to the dentist. Great guests here, by

38:16

the way. Great guests. I

38:18

got a nice, chill dentist

38:20

in El Soreno. Very nice

38:22

dude, Sommi. He's like, oh,

38:29

his assistant is like, when do you want to come in?

38:31

And I'm like, I don't know. Do you have something in

38:33

the morning? She's like, how does seven sound? I'm like, all

38:36

right, sure. Fuck it. I go to the dentist

38:38

at 7 a.m. now. That's how old I am.

38:40

Yeah, let's do it. And it's a

38:42

real relief because it is in- It's great

38:44

to go early because you're not supposed to

38:46

eat anything. So you're not like spending four

38:49

hours being all starving. Exactly.

38:52

And it's in a

38:54

strip mall with a dollar store and a taqueria,

38:56

which is where I want to

38:58

be. Yeah. Especially because, as we've discussed

39:00

on this program before, I previously

39:03

had been going to this beautiful

39:05

Korean dentist in Koreatown, right

39:07

half a mile from where we

39:09

are. This man had cheekbones, like

39:12

full soap opera star, good looks,

39:15

and just surrounded by these beautiful-

39:17

It was just him and just

39:19

12 beautiful women that

39:22

worked in his office with

39:24

his classical music playing over

39:26

the stereo. It was a

39:28

level of pressure that I

39:30

could not deal with. Right.

39:32

And giant big screen TVs

39:35

playing silent things,

39:38

like nature scenes or something. It

39:41

was so overwhelming,

39:44

the level of glamour going

39:46

on in this dentist's

39:48

office. And

39:52

Just being able to just wander in

39:54

and the dentist unlocks the door and

39:56

says, yeah, come on in. Yeah

40:00

right. yeah. I. Mean you know some mc worry

40:02

like and want to be you know, paying the

40:04

premium for those. Cheekbones right? You know where

40:06

you know how much the series cause

40:08

now at minimum of forty per Like

40:10

did I pick this dentist simply because

40:13

it was the one closest to the

40:15

office? Him that the had more than

40:17

force Yelp stars Yes I did. But.

40:19

When I got there, I found that

40:22

I was paying a fifty percent beautiful

40:24

see grown premium or twice the price.

40:26

Or this man in his fucking piercing.

40:28

I. Tipped

40:32

like a laser, I write

40:34

on me and all these

40:36

beautiful people everywhere and are.

40:39

There was like this some. At.

40:42

One point the I would be taken

40:44

through the process because I got invisible

40:46

line. I'd be taken through the process

40:48

of the invisible lines by this woman.

40:51

Who. Was. There

40:54

was just or broad variety of

40:56

like cultural perspective Zooming office right

40:58

So the dentist himself. Didn't

41:01

really speak English. And

41:04

this woman For the universal language,

41:06

exactly? This woman was. Me

41:10

I like If I was gonna guess

41:12

I would guess that she was either

41:14

his business partner or his dom. A

41:17

hard to say for sure,

41:19

but she just had this

41:21

like shoes. Maybe fifty five?

41:24

Also. Extraordinarily beautiful and

41:26

like she was there to

41:28

just fall on Alec Baldwin

41:30

me into buying tooth. So

41:32

yes sir just likes to

41:34

sit me down is a

41:37

line this like beautiful the

41:39

this like beautiful woman who

41:41

to was not wearing like

41:43

a. Black rubber clothing

41:45

but could have been new area put

41:47

underneath the laptop. yeah I have. I

41:49

am like the observatory on or that

41:51

see britain and it wasn't that she

41:53

was like being mean to me it

41:55

was just see have that. To

41:58

marry a suit. just on it, so

42:01

on it. And she'd say, of course

42:04

you'll be wanting this. And

42:06

she'd look at me with her beautiful eyes and I'd be

42:08

like, ah, meh, can

42:11

I decide later? See again,

42:13

why I can't do phone calls? It's like, you don't wanna miss

42:15

the point, even through the phone. I

42:17

gotta go to Matt's gym. I wish. My

42:22

lifetime membership. I'm so glad, I'm so

42:24

glad I got this, I got this

42:26

chill El Soreno dentist

42:28

now. I

42:31

always eat before the dentist. Oh yeah?

42:34

Yeah, I make a point to do it. You know

42:36

what I do? I eat Kool-Aid

42:38

powder before the dentist. Yeah, yeah, yeah,

42:40

yeah. I cause they're the ones,

42:42

because they're gonna clean the teeth, right? Yep, and

42:44

it's the uncreating jobs. I eat

42:46

the unsweetened kind too, that's just

42:48

like, fuck me. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

42:51

Fuck me, fuck you. Yeah, yeah,

42:53

fuck the world. Yeah. Yeah,

42:55

yeah, I also, you know, I eat litter

42:57

at the movie theater. Oh, cool. You

42:59

guys ever do that? Dude, you seem really cool. Yeah,

43:01

I'm kinda badass. Yeah, I do. Yeah, you

43:03

guys got loose cannons. Yeah, I just do

43:05

whatever. Can I ask you guys a serious question?

43:08

Do you guys ever eat that Kool-Aid when you

43:10

were a kid, eat the Kool-Aid powder, and

43:12

you think it's gonna taste like Kool-Aid, but it tastes

43:14

like a nightmare cause it doesn't have any sugar in

43:16

it? Right, yes, okay, great.

43:19

Not just me then, not just me. I have a version

43:21

of that, yeah. What was your version of that? I

43:24

tried to get Kelpico concentrate. Oh.

43:28

What was that? It's that Kelpico

43:30

drink, which is something at a lot of

43:32

Asian markets, I would imagine, I think it's

43:34

Korean, but maybe

43:36

I'm wrong, but it's like a soft drink.

43:39

And then I got the concentrate version, which

43:41

I thought would be it. I

43:43

didn't realize, and then it was like a goofy,

43:45

interesting thing. I got a

43:48

dilute pretty hard, but it didn't, I don't know.

43:50

I think I got the ratio wrong. You ever

43:52

get Pokari sweat powder? See

43:55

that around sometimes. I'm tempted

43:57

every time, every single time.

44:00

Yeah yeah, I think little combo of all those

44:02

things might be. The right next little

44:04

bit a little bit of a

44:07

do more cari sweater outer, not

44:09

a sweat, a little a little

44:11

bit of acid. Kelp Kelp Kelp

44:13

compete Ghosts Group yeah I mean

44:15

we are is more them in

44:17

a corner, a little bit octopus.

44:19

Oh no way it can predict

44:21

the servers cigarettes aren't about that.

44:24

Off by so we're up about

44:26

as we had a really fun

44:28

i was sad time I'd okay

44:30

think I didn't recall. Back to

44:32

it when something. Momentous happens to

44:34

you like use you a call back

44:36

to pay off. As

44:39

narrow path to Zero Six Ninety Four

44:41

for finer to send us a voice

44:43

memo Jj Go at Maximum fun.org Ah,

44:45

this person did that and this is

44:47

what they said to their message or

44:49

their phone on a voice memo. Pause

44:58

this map because I gave now I gave

45:00

the wrong. I'm embarrassed who they gave Iran

45:02

just to explain to you sierra. I'm

45:05

obviously we have our famous aggro mom

45:07

and means that we've been doing for

45:10

and for. but we also have a

45:12

lot of other signature segments litter ideas

45:14

that we've sought out. We don't cause

45:17

of our hard work know I'm It's

45:19

not just callers who want to tell

45:21

us about something and then claim that

45:24

it's part of a recurring segments happened

45:26

in the hopes that they'll get Army

45:28

Air. This is like different ideas that

45:31

we have has worked very crazy or

45:33

not and hardworking Miller man. I.

45:36

Was just driving behind it's sheath and

45:39

had a bumper sticker. If you're going

45:41

to ride my ass at least for

45:43

my hair which is somewhat of a

45:46

com and bumper sticker, accept this wouldn't

45:48

was written in the Disney far and

45:50

had a picture of Tinkerbell next to

45:53

it. For some reason. ah

45:55

so now all i can think

45:57

about his tinkerbell having ruff And

46:01

hopefully now you are too. This

46:03

is Tim, by the way, in St. Petersburg, Florida. Oh,

46:05

it was Tim! It was Tim! I

46:08

would never think about that. It was Tim! I

46:11

would never think about that, Tim. I'm thinking of

46:13

David Spade from The Emperor's New Groove having rough

46:15

sex. I would never think of

46:17

Tim. Before or after transforming?

46:20

With him, a human version having sex

46:22

with the llama version. Oh, even better?

46:25

Because of a spell. Because of the

46:27

spell. Because of Yzma. Yes. Tinkerbell,

46:30

I would say that Tinkerbell has

46:32

the least direct

46:35

meaning of any commonly

46:37

licensed character, like the

46:40

least specific

46:43

content, if

46:45

it weren't for Betty Boop. Like, I don't

46:48

think... I don't know

46:50

if I've ever seen a Betty Boop cartoon.

46:52

You know what I mean? Right. Like,

46:55

I don't know what Betty Boop

46:57

represents if it's not a bumper

46:59

sticker or a tattoo. Yeah, sure.

47:01

I think it's a... I think

47:04

it's a... like a sexy... like

47:06

you're sexy. Yeah, like you want a

47:08

big... You want to project sexy.

47:10

Like, you're sexy with a big football head,

47:13

like the baby from Family Guy. Yeah, yeah.

47:16

Have you never seen a Betty Boop before? I

47:19

don't... I mean, I know she goes boop, boop,

47:21

be-doop, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't think I've

47:23

seen more than her going boop, boop, be-doop. So,

47:26

Betty Boop, I watched one, like, not too long

47:28

ago, and the cartoon is basically... You watched the

47:30

boop? I watched the boop. Matt watched the boop.

47:32

I've seen a boop. You guys seen a boop.

47:36

And it is... the joke is, wouldn't

47:38

it be funny if people

47:40

sexually harassed Betty Boop? That's the

47:42

whole thing. Oh, no. Yeah,

47:45

it's so strange. Oh, Betty Boop.

47:48

You realize once you watch, you go, oh, this

47:50

is very, like, the Roaring 20s. Like,

47:53

the Roaring 20s is all about sexually harassing

47:55

Betty Boop? Yeah, essentially. It's just like, you

47:58

know, what if we say... actually

48:00

harassed a flapper. I think they

48:02

were called flappers. It's

48:04

not just a comedy club, right? What?

48:06

So does she just go around saying

48:08

boop boop be doop? She

48:11

ends, that's like her gag.

48:13

That's her that's all folks. What

48:16

happens? Like somebody like wolf whistles at her and

48:18

then falls in a hole or something? Yeah, yeah,

48:20

yeah, yeah. Essentially. So they fall in the hole?

48:22

Yeah, no, she's fine, but she's being chased. And

48:24

she's like, oh, who, me? Boop boop be doop.

48:27

She turns into a sexy accidentally that turns everyone

48:29

on and turns them. She turns into a llama and

48:32

has sex with the llama version of her belly. That's

48:35

where you got that from. Do you think

48:37

you could put Tinkerbell next to a

48:40

bumper sticker that says, ask, cash or grass

48:42

nobody rides for free? You

48:45

can do anything you set your mind on. Yeah,

48:47

I can do that. You probably could. Get fire

48:49

up Canva. Yeah, you can do that on Canva.

48:52

I think so. You can do that on Canva.

48:54

You can do pretty much anything on Canva. You can do

48:56

whatever you want to do on Canva. You know what you're

48:59

doing. Yeah, you could put Tinkerbell on fucking and A. Aye,

49:02

bro. 9-11. There's

49:05

a big- Oh, never forgot. Yeah, she's one

49:07

of the, you know. Disney,

49:10

she remembers our first responders.

49:14

I think there is a big, you

49:16

know, kind of underground merch scene for

49:18

like Disney adults. You know, I think

49:20

if you go on Etsy or something,

49:22

you can like get a lot of

49:25

t-shirts that like mash up

49:27

Disney characters and like wine.

49:30

I've been looking for- You like,

49:32

you can get a like bibbidi-bobbidi-boos.

49:35

I've been trying to find, is

49:37

there a

49:39

Tinkerbell that says, all lives matter?

49:41

I'm sure. Sure,

49:43

she's spelling it out with her wand.

49:47

I bet there is that shit. Yeah, she's got

49:49

the- Matt, you

49:51

have a computer. Find this one.

49:53

Okay. Give it a quick-

49:55

Don't just go on Canva. I'm gonna make one.

49:58

All right, I'll find out. You

50:01

guys talk about someone finding out.

50:03

I mean definitely Tinkerbell. Tinkerbell

50:06

definitely like as a

50:08

bumper sticker for like the Tampa Bay

50:10

Buccaneers. Sure. There's no question about

50:12

that. I'm just wondering where the line is drawn.

50:15

Yeah. I mean I think that like I think

50:17

that you can just operate one of those online

50:19

stores until Disney tells you to take it down

50:21

and you just put it up with a new

50:23

name. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You got to change a

50:25

couple things probably. You know her signature

50:27

look. Sure. You got to give her

50:30

another different shoes maybe.

50:32

Yeah. You just swap out Tinkerbell

50:34

for the next sexiest Disney character.

50:36

The Pixar lamp. Oh yeah.

50:39

Yeah. Yeah. I looked at Tinkerbell right

50:41

wing memes. What do we got Matt?

50:45

The only thing I have is

50:47

a really fat phobic one that

50:50

says Tinkerbell and her cousin Taco Bell

50:52

which is you know this is all cheap

50:54

stuff. It's not dank at all. It's not

50:57

dank. It's not even the least bit dank.

50:59

It's a right wing meme you know. Nothing

51:01

molding in. Some of those memes are pretty

51:03

dank though. Yeah. There's some like. Sure.

51:06

I mean some of those memes are dank

51:08

enough to get an alleged criminal elected president.

51:12

Like when the minion is saying

51:14

my pronouns are Taco Burrito. Those

51:17

minions they don't care about pronouns.

51:20

They don't care about anything. They

51:22

really are despicable. They are despicable.

51:27

Despicable who? Oh

51:29

I found a devil. Hold on. I found a

51:31

death. Should we give Tinkerbell devil it says if

51:34

you can't be good be good at it. And

51:37

it doesn't say what that means but she's like. What

51:39

would it be? I think like doing a January 6th.

51:41

Yeah. Oh

51:43

sure. Tinkerbell took a shit

51:45

on Nancy Pelosi's death. Tinkerbell

51:47

I'm getting at that shit.

51:49

I'm getting here. I'm googling

51:51

Tinkerbell was a false elector.

51:55

She was on a false elector's plane

51:57

from Anaheim. I didn't even know Anaheim

51:59

had a... plate of a lot man.

52:01

but. We think the Lost

52:03

Boys grew up to be comparable. Alpha.

52:07

Alpha probably send along with a

52:09

top hat and definition of add.

52:11

Definitely, I will say this. I

52:13

don't know if Joe Rogan as

52:15

a podcast net worth, but The

52:17

Lost Boys definitely have a podcast

52:19

in Mad Men. Rain

52:22

Era hundred percent in one of

52:24

them. like I'm a degenerate gambler.

52:27

Web Raza, I'm a total fucking

52:29

degenerate gambler. What's the line He

52:31

says. Let's

52:33

see, we give mad a couple more minutes to. Research Right

52:36

wing does the means and then come back

52:38

for look at more. We bend. Over

52:47

to my little tougher the science

52:49

has it fits the hit upside

52:51

flags and speed Running video games

52:53

and cost. You

52:55

and oh what is this

52:57

is the hottest. Let's learn.

52:59

Everything we learn about size and everything

53:02

else. my name some I said he

53:04

talked enough in computer science but all

53:06

of your teacher for intermediate the motive.

53:08

My. Name's Caroline and I did my

53:11

masters in today's. Incisive

53:13

thing for season. Peninsula added

53:15

a Phd stem cell biology.

53:17

So obviously are we teaching you the

53:20

history of fan fiction Classmates Every other

53:22

Thursday on maximum Fun. So. Do I

53:24

still get credit for this? Know

53:27

obviously not. knives it

53:29

apart as. the

53:38

himself and then with the final

53:41

season of one thousand other a

53:43

comedy podcast about him to his

53:45

sister's going to be a year

53:47

as celebrating all that make this

53:49

podcast this community magical i'm so

53:51

glad that i sat on to

53:54

be or has has i just

53:56

cannot thank you enough for the

53:58

voice of reason I'm trying

54:00

to figure all of this out. Thank you

54:02

and cheers to your incredible show and the

54:05

vision you have to provide this space for

54:07

all of us. This is still a show

54:09

about life after giving life. And yes, there

54:11

will be swears. You can

54:14

find us on maximumfun.org. And

54:16

as always, you are doing

54:18

a great job. Hello,

54:21

hello, hello. Hello, hello, hello. I

54:52

really agree. I think we should have a national

54:54

dialogue on you and unity. Thank you. What about

54:56

that? That would be nice. This

55:00

is the first one

55:02

that came up. The

55:05

first one. I want to emphasize. The first one. This is

55:07

the most popular one. It's

55:09

a picture of Tinker Bell. You guys can see. It's

55:11

just a picture of Tinker Bell. She's got her magic

55:13

dust around her. And

55:16

it says, fellow reminder that Tinker

55:18

Bell is still Disney's most recognizable female

55:20

mascot and one that still kept a

55:23

special place in my heart. That's

55:25

in the meme format. That's

55:29

in big meme letters. That's what happens

55:31

when you give like mom a

55:33

meme maker. You know what I mean? She's

55:35

just like, I've always liked Tinker Bell

55:38

there. Just

55:41

genuine facts. Sure,

55:44

these are just facts. Memes can be facts. Memes can be facts. Taco

55:47

Stu64, apparently very productive. Cranket amount.

55:49

This person also, this one is

55:51

a sort of meme format with

55:54

two different Tinker Bells. So one is

55:56

like a full body Tinker Bell. One is an

55:58

upper torso Tinker Bell. sort of

56:00

like the you know Drake yes no or something like

56:02

that and it says ah yes

56:04

a true Disney icon. You

56:07

know what I think this is? You know

56:09

what I think is going on? Okay wait

56:11

there's this one this

56:14

one is very

56:16

dang. Oh sure okay. This one is by

56:19

Tacos264. Oh my

56:21

god. It's a picture of Tinkerbell and she's sort

56:23

of like she's sort of like doing a side

56:25

eye kind of thing like looking up into the

56:27

corner like come on give me a break Peter

56:30

Pan and then it says Tinkerbell

56:32

is so damn cute. Oh

56:36

he's just got a little crush.

56:38

He's got a little crush. Tacos2.

56:40

Oh okay sorry sorry sorry

56:43

sorry sorry sorry. Here's

56:45

a really dank one. Okay. So

56:47

this one is a picture. And

56:50

now it just says let's go

56:52

Brandon right? This one is a

56:54

picture of Tinkerbell. She's like looking

56:56

around this from the movie Peter

56:58

Pan. And then the

57:01

text says Tinkerbell. That's

57:06

an issue point. Here

57:08

she is. Yeah. You know what I

57:10

think is going on especially

57:13

what the first one is kind of suggesting to

57:16

me. Yeah. It's like there is a legion

57:20

of online dudes who

57:22

are mad that cartoon

57:24

and video game characters,

57:27

the female ones, are now being

57:30

rendered and drawn with more realistic

57:32

proportions. I get

57:34

the sense that maybe this guy is

57:36

like they don't make them like Tink

57:38

anymore. Where's the where's

57:41

the tits on the Encantos? Okay

57:43

well this one I like because this one

57:45

is Tinkerbell and this one is an animated

57:47

one. So she's spinning

57:50

around and admiring how beautiful she is and

57:52

it says 2016 will be my year. Well

57:56

nothing wrong with that. I'm sorry. It was fun.

57:58

It was a good year for People's

58:00

here. Yeah, all over everywhere. We

58:02

don't know if I was named

58:04

tacos do Tacos to 64. Yeah

58:07

tacos to 64 this is so these are 2016 era memes for him We

58:14

do not know if tacos do has been radicalized.

58:16

Okay, I found Take

58:24

about memes gateway. Yeah, exactly. Sure. I

58:26

know it's like the wellness to That's

58:28

right. You can buy a crystal and

58:30

the next thing you know, you're you

58:33

know what I'm gonna join facebook.com/Tinkerbell

58:36

fan club Because

58:38

this meme this meme says all

58:40

the best fairies get angry sometimes.

58:42

Hey It's

58:45

really true three-dimensional. I don't know how you

58:47

found these like normal ones I

58:49

got it just a bunch of fan art.

58:51

This is one of Tinkerbell having sex with

58:54

a cockroach Oh Because

58:57

they're the same size, you know, I

59:01

don't like it she's limited to this

59:06

This one says scaling the magic isn't easy,

59:08

but it's worth it spread a little around

59:10

you every day I like it.

59:13

This next one is tank fucking Jiminy

59:15

cricket I

59:17

gotta see what what Google you're you They're

59:20

both kind of small companions who are

59:22

you know helping their main lead. Maybe

59:24

they're tired of that Maybe they're both

59:27

wine. Yeah, sure and they see in each

59:29

other like oh you get me. Yeah, you're

59:31

always a companion They're both in the Disney

59:33

opening credits, you know Well, one is the

59:35

song that Jiminy crickets things and the other

59:38

is Tinkerbell flying Oh, this

59:40

one is a Tinkerbell eating another Tinkerbell

59:42

pussy Yeah,

59:46

I know where you're speaking my language

59:50

Those are both your bells Action

59:54

figures in that position years. I

59:56

don't know. I mean what I'll be it and I do

59:58

when you have two Tinkerbell Sure, right? They

1:00:01

can only go on so many

1:00:03

picnics before they start. Here

1:00:05

we go. This one is really good.

1:00:08

This one is hash from hashtag thereby. The

1:00:12

subject is funny tinker bell

1:00:14

for sale up to off 69%. Stay

1:00:18

calm when things don't work out, relax. Even if

1:00:20

it's all your fault and you deserve everything you're

1:00:22

getting, trust in G-D. That

1:00:26

is all for the good and stay calm. When he

1:00:28

sees how much you trust in him, he will make

1:00:30

it for the good. Keep calm

1:00:32

and carry on. It's a little catchier. Yeah,

1:00:34

no, I like long, long better. And

1:00:37

then they censored God. That's true. Maybe

1:00:39

it wasn't God, maybe it's Ged. Maybe it's

1:00:41

just Ged. It's

1:00:44

a Rebbe. Yeah, yeah.

1:00:46

Some Olaf in there. Rebbe can't write

1:00:48

G-D. You don't want to spell Olaf.

1:00:54

A Rebbe can't write out God. You have

1:00:56

to write G-D. Here's another

1:00:58

one, a good one from hashtag thereby. Oh,

1:01:01

cool. Nothing can hold you back, not

1:01:04

your childhood, not the history of a

1:01:06

lifetime, not even the very last moment

1:01:08

before now. In a moment, you can

1:01:10

abandon your past. And once abandoned, you

1:01:13

can redefine it. You

1:01:15

could leave your family. This

1:01:17

person murdered someone. Oh yeah, for sure. It

1:01:20

seems likely, right? That makes sense. My wife

1:01:22

didn't like my ginga bell arc. Oh, here's

1:01:24

a nice one. This one

1:01:26

is a picture of a cartoon, like a

1:01:28

cute Tinkerbell, not from the movie, but probably

1:01:30

from a kids' TV show of some kind.

1:01:33

And she's doing a little thinking face.

1:01:35

And it says, I just wish for

1:01:37

happy. Oh, don't we all?

1:01:39

Oh, that's beautifully cute. Matt, can you do

1:01:42

me a favor? I want

1:01:44

to talk to Sierra about her new album, please. While

1:01:47

we're doing that, can you go on

1:01:49

Etsy and find a great Disney Wine

1:01:51

Mom shirt that is definitely unlikely? You

1:01:54

got it. We'll close on that.

1:01:57

Not every morning is magical. Okay,

1:02:00

get Tinkerbell or coffee and nobody

1:02:02

gets hurt. She can't kill

1:02:04

you with magic. She

1:02:07

has attack spells. Sierra,

1:02:11

Fun. Oh, where does the name come from?

1:02:13

It's in the special somewhere. It's a funnel.

1:02:15

I don't want you to give away a

1:02:17

punchline. Oh, yeah, it's fine. You

1:02:20

know FunAunt, right? Because I am an

1:02:22

auntie now. Not as good

1:02:24

as Deb. No, well. Never, never can. Deb's

1:02:26

the top Deb. But yes.

1:02:29

Debbie, she goes by Debbie now. Oh, sorry. Debbie. Yeah,

1:02:33

so I think I am FunAunt and

1:02:35

that's where it comes from. Cool. And

1:02:38

yeah, we're, they- That's how it reads too. Like

1:02:40

when you see the cover and you haven't heard the

1:02:43

album yet. Right. That's definitely what you're gonna read. Yeah,

1:02:45

I mean that's exactly where the mind

1:02:47

goes. I think so. I think so too. That's why I did

1:02:49

that and then, you know, we'll see if people get it, you

1:02:51

know. I

1:02:54

mean, I did see it live. You

1:02:57

did see it live. So you can't do that.

1:02:59

It's over. But if you want to see the

1:03:01

recorded version, I noticed it up on Apple Music.

1:03:04

Oh, yes. Yes, it's on Apple Music

1:03:06

as an album on Spotify and stuff.

1:03:08

And then it's like as a special

1:03:11

on Amazon Prime video and Apple TV

1:03:13

and YouTube. Okay.

1:03:15

And among some other things too that are

1:03:17

less popular, but I think they're out there. Yeah,

1:03:19

watch it. See if you can see my head

1:03:21

or something. Yeah, actually though. You know what? I

1:03:23

think watch it in four minute chunks on Quibi.

1:03:26

There you go. Well, yeah, that's if you hit

1:03:28

a big. If it hits a certain number of streams,

1:03:30

maybe you'll get that Quibi push.

1:03:33

Yeah, yeah. But I see I

1:03:35

post a lot of clips on Instagram too. So if

1:03:37

you're, you know, not wanting to shout the money, you

1:03:39

can follow me on Instagram. I hit the

1:03:41

algo on Quibi, not to brag, but congratulations

1:03:44

dude. Yeah, I really got

1:03:46

a lot of confused old

1:03:48

Hollywood people. Wow. See

1:03:51

you in the dream. Jeffrey Katzenberg,

1:03:53

right? Mm-hmm. Yeah, he gave me

1:03:55

all his money. So you and

1:03:57

Idris Elba could race stock? cars

1:04:00

i think oh that's good yeah

1:04:02

yeah i made a i made

1:04:04

a movie with um christoph

1:04:07

waltz congratulations full feature

1:04:10

film in four minute blog oh my

1:04:12

god amazing good and everything bites good

1:04:14

and everything including what it's cleared for

1:04:16

100 uh one

1:04:19

way i'm on the roku channel now

1:04:21

uh fun it's it's everywhere you should listen to

1:04:24

it i uh i had a great time watching

1:04:26

it i think you'll have a great time ingesting

1:04:28

it however you please isolate jordan

1:04:30

morris's yeah find my laugh find my

1:04:33

head if you look at look at the video um

1:04:35

matt we got a uh disney wine mom shirt

1:04:38

to go out on so many too

1:04:40

many you can have a top three if you

1:04:42

want by the way please post post

1:04:45

on instagram your jordan jessie go tinker bell meme

1:04:47

oh please yeah tag them jay jay go uh

1:04:49

and tag us so that we will see them

1:04:51

and so that we can share them in our

1:04:53

story yeah post them for post them on reddit

1:04:56

we want to see you know we'll even open

1:04:58

it up to characters from the emperor's new group

1:05:01

that sounds great i mean if you can

1:05:03

top tacos 264 i don't know yeah no one

1:05:05

can if

1:05:10

you come at the king you best not

1:05:12

miss yeah um okay

1:05:14

so burritos 264 making a plan

1:05:16

right now making

1:05:18

a plan right now uh

1:05:22

so i'm just gonna give you just the

1:05:24

top three okay number should we start with

1:05:26

number three start with number three okay number

1:05:28

three all right it's a

1:05:31

shirt it says this mom runs

1:05:33

on disney wine and amazon prime

1:05:36

all right

1:05:38

mom goes boss yeah yeah she's

1:05:43

watching that new lord of the rings

1:05:45

thing man yeah critical role might be

1:05:47

a sam regal fan yeah probably a

1:05:49

big sam regal fan probably jack reacher

1:05:51

maybe you're a little reacher this

1:05:53

guy this woman just loves streaming

1:05:56

anything streaming you know uh but

1:05:58

not netflix no just Disney

1:06:00

won an Amazon Prime. She likes how

1:06:02

they put ads in there now. Yeah,

1:06:06

I'll give them another five

1:06:08

bucks. I want everyone's making

1:06:10

money. Me too. Okay,

1:06:12

so another shirt is, do you

1:06:15

guys remember the Seagulls from Finding Nemo?

1:06:17

Do I? These guys were total fucking

1:06:19

goofballs. Yeah, you remember what they said?

1:06:22

What did they say? They said mine,

1:06:24

right? Mine? Mine? This

1:06:26

one just says wine. Ahhhhhh! Fucking

1:06:32

loved one! Oh right there! It was

1:06:34

right there! You just kind

1:06:36

of kicked yourself for not being an- Exactly,

1:06:39

I know, yeah. We could be

1:06:41

Etsy rich. Last

1:06:43

but not least, this

1:06:45

is number one, my favorite, and this

1:06:47

is not a shirt, it's a wine

1:06:49

glass, with a picture,

1:06:52

a silhouette of Tinker Bell, and what

1:06:54

does it say above it? Drinker

1:06:56

Bell. Yes! Just

1:07:00

absolutely drinker bell. Oh boy,

1:07:02

drinker bell! Drinker bell. Just

1:07:05

drinker bell. Oh, that absolute

1:07:07

icon. Yeah, icon. I

1:07:10

found one that I really liked, it's

1:07:12

a picture of the magical

1:07:15

stepmother from Cinderella, and

1:07:18

it says, essential oils have magical powers.

1:07:20

Essential oils cure cancer, it says. Well,

1:07:28

we- what a fun episode, huh?

1:07:31

We kind of know, I get B- in

1:07:33

love it. Okay, well everybody has their favorites.

1:07:36

Yeah, I usually listen on double speed to

1:07:38

get it over with. Oh, I'm sorry, I

1:07:40

found another. Yeah, what else you got there?

1:07:42

It's the last thing, but it's just a

1:07:44

shirt, and it's got

1:07:47

Cinderella on it, and she's

1:07:49

twerking, and it says a twerky CP,

1:07:51

it says a twerk is a wish

1:07:53

your booty makes, but in the Disney

1:07:56

font. It says, can you

1:07:58

get a bibbity bobbity boos? Oh,

1:08:00

there's definitely bibbidi-bobbidi-boos. There's gotta be right.

1:08:02

Let me look if not don't release

1:08:04

this episode until I can go on

1:08:07

Etsy Make a shop. There's

1:08:09

bibbidi-bobbidi-boos. I'm sorry Is

1:08:13

there bibbidi-bobbidi-boobs? Oh I

1:08:15

can't it says for Disney dad. All right

1:08:21

Very godmother kind of in a low-clock.

1:08:23

Sure. Oh, yeah me He

1:08:25

was sick Like

1:08:28

a miracle if people want to see

1:08:30

you in real life are you headed

1:08:32

out? You headed out anywhere? I'm mainly

1:08:35

in LA. I would say I'm doing I'm

1:08:37

opening for my friend Joe Wong for the

1:08:39

Netflix is a joke festival Joe

1:08:44

yeah, get that,

1:08:46

you know unlike that lady and her

1:08:48

Amazon Prime Different

1:08:52

streaming services for different folks But

1:08:57

yes, no Jack Reacher on Netflix I'm going to the to

1:09:00

be festival That

1:09:12

will be the best night of your life

1:09:15

pretty great most ambitious Name

1:09:19

a more iconic duo I'll wait I'll

1:09:23

wait Tinkerbell and booze.

1:09:25

I'm thinking Getting

1:09:28

hammered drinker bell bell

1:09:30

and problem drinking Tinkerbell

1:09:35

ooh, but it's this way Tinkerbell and

1:09:37

a string of broken lies Just

1:09:40

all the people she's really Trot

1:09:43

upon Because they got between

1:09:45

her and the bottle. Okay Matt

1:09:48

Lieb is the producer of the show Brian Sonny

1:09:50

D Fernandez our producer emeritus our theme music is

1:09:52

love you by the free design courtesy of the

1:09:54

free design and light in the attic records Our

1:09:57

thanks to them. You can join us on reddit at maximum

1:10:00

on facebook.com/Jordan Jesse Go,

1:10:02

like us there, at

1:10:05

Jordan David Morris, at Jesse

1:10:07

Thorne, very famous on Instagram.

1:10:11

Do follow me on that new account. It's a new

1:10:13

account, Jordan. New account. New account. Full of

1:10:15

fun. And you know what? I

1:10:17

actually have homework for people once they're done

1:10:20

with their posting their Tinkerbell Jordan Jesse Go

1:10:22

memes, which please do post those.

1:10:24

Yeah, we'd love to see them. Tag us, hashtag us, hashtag

1:10:26

ajijigoungo. We'll read some on the next show. I

1:10:28

also need Scruffy Dog accounts

1:10:30

to follow. Okay. Obviously,

1:10:33

I'm already following City Willie and Ollie Dewis

1:10:35

Play, but I'm going

1:10:37

to need more Scruffy Dogs. And I don't

1:10:39

want like, I'm

1:10:41

not really into like that thing where it's

1:10:43

like, this dog's so ugly,

1:10:45

he's cute. Like it's fine.

1:10:48

The novelty doesn't, I sometimes think the dog

1:10:51

is cute, but like the novelty doesn't do

1:10:53

that much for me. Sure. I

1:10:55

just want to look at- Down the middle cute dog.

1:10:57

Well, down the middle of a

1:10:59

dog that looks like it could carry a hobo

1:11:01

bindle. Gotcha. Yeah. Oh,

1:11:04

okay. Now I know what you're talking about. Yeah, it's

1:11:06

clear. I want Benji style dogs. The broad category is

1:11:08

Benji. And then whatever else.

1:11:10

I've tried searching for Benjis of Instagram. Sure.

1:11:13

Hashtag Benjis of Instagram. But yeah, send me,

1:11:16

send those my way. Because I

1:11:18

want to see them at Jesse Thorne Very Famous.

1:11:20

Please, I need some, I need some good follows.

1:11:22

All the way up to Irish Wolfhounds. Okay. You

1:11:25

got an Irish Wolfhound to send me. These

1:11:27

are, you've laid out the parameters. I prefer

1:11:29

mutts. We'll talk to

1:11:31

you next time on Jordan Jessica. Love you and kiss

1:11:33

you and love you. Love you, love you, love you. Love

1:11:38

you, love you, love you. Maximum

1:11:42

Fin. A

1:11:49

worker owned network. Of artist

1:11:51

owned shows. Supported directly by

1:11:54

you.