0:01

Douglas is one of many who found a

0:03

new life through Seattle's Union Gospel Mission. I

0:05

was living on the streets when I heard

0:07

this guy talk about how he got clean

0:10

and sober at the mission. So

0:12

I decided to give it a try. I

0:14

could feel something working inside of me, and

0:16

I knew I was getting better. Today, my

0:19

number one goal is to stay clean and

0:21

sober. To

0:27

hear more, volunteer or donate,

0:29

visit ugm.org. Douglas

0:32

is one of many who found a new

0:34

life through Seattle's Union Gospel Mission. I was

0:37

living on the streets when I heard this

0:39

guy talk about how he got clean and

0:41

sober at the mission. So I

0:43

decided to give it a try. I could

0:45

feel something working inside of me, and I

0:48

knew I was getting better. Today, my number

0:50

one goal is to stay clean and sober.

0:57

To hear more, To hear more, volunteer

0:59

or donate, visit ugm.org.

1:06

Welcome back to Too Long

1:08

Did Read It! Everyone's

1:11

favorite investigation, exploration,

1:13

gander, inquest, inquisition,

1:15

observation, quest, survey

1:18

into Reddit. Are

1:21

you reading that one? Yeah, I've looked up

1:23

synonyms of investigation. Survey. Yeah,

1:26

I guess that surveying. I think that's like,

1:28

you know, some professionals like are

1:30

surveying the land. Yeah. What are those people doing

1:32

all the time when you see them and

1:34

they just have like a small machine and then

1:36

they have like a tripod and then they're clicking

1:39

something. What are they doing? I think they're

1:41

taking pictures. It doesn't look like a camera. I

1:43

know. What do you mean to like see if

1:45

the road is too bumpy or something? I have

1:47

no idea. I don't know what they're doing.

1:49

They're always capturing something that seems far away, but

1:52

then they're in the road. And then sometimes

1:54

I know it's similar

1:57

equipment, but not the exact same. They're seeing

1:59

how fast. people are coming down the street.

2:01

Oh, yeah. Oh, that feels makes more sense to

2:03

me. But other times it

2:05

looks like they're looking at stuff and not

2:08

it feels like they're like testing something

2:10

like that. They're getting some result like almost like

2:12

the way like a mold test. But

2:15

it's like, but what are you looking for? Yeah.

2:18

Pottles, earthquakes. What was it?

2:20

I think you get for a pot with your eyes. Guys,

2:23

I got a ticket. I got a

2:26

driving ticket. When I'm not surprised. Listen,

2:28

you want to guess what it was

2:30

for rolling through a stop sign?

2:32

Absolutely. It absolutely was

2:34

for rolling through a stop sign. The one

2:36

literally coming to my house. I was like

2:39

two drives like he gave me the

2:41

ticket in my driveway. Good job. When

2:43

was this? I don't know. Like a couple

2:45

of weeks ago, a week ago. How

2:47

much was it for? Um,

2:49

I didn't even look. Did you pay it? No,

2:52

I haven't paid it yet. You didn't even look.

2:54

I haven't looked. No, I just put it on my

2:56

table. I was so mad. I have to go back.

2:58

I'll look at it today. I'm just so annoyed. He

3:01

was like, Hey, sorry. Where I'm actually

3:03

posted up because people have been complaining

3:05

about people rolling through that every time

3:08

I'm actually not just me. I

3:10

see other people do it. And so he's

3:12

like, I'm posted up here actually like my, I'm

3:14

supposed to give tickets to this stop sign. And I

3:16

was like, that's fair dude. I get it. I

3:19

saw a cop like within like five minutes

3:21

give like two tickets or something like, like

3:23

he was clearly like needing to meet his

3:25

quota and just like looking

3:27

for people doing bad things. Yeah.

3:29

And I was like, I deserve this. That's

3:32

fine. I get it. And

3:34

now I will not roll through a stop sign anymore. I don't

3:37

think that's true. Yes, I've learned my lesson.

3:40

I'm scared. Or if I'm about to do

3:42

it, I'm looking around for coffee. I hope you

3:44

hear my voice. Yeah, I'm not going to do it. I'm

3:46

not going to do it. I got in trouble. So

3:48

I'm not going to do it. I wish I

3:50

remembered what episode it was when you were

3:52

talking about doing and saying how it wasn't

3:54

a big deal and stuff. I wish I

3:56

knew. Well, now I'm serving my consequences. Great.

4:00

By the way, can I read a Reddit from Oh No

4:02

Consequences? Oh no!

4:04

Good transition. Consequences. Oh no! It's

4:07

one of my favorite things, well, well, well, if

4:09

it isn't the consequences of my actions. Am

4:11

I wrong for putting peanuts in my food

4:13

and not putting an Allergen label on it

4:16

knowing that the food thief is allergic? What?

4:19

Oh my God. It's technically illegal, but keep

4:21

going. So my office, it's attempted murder. So

4:23

my office recently got a new hire, Omar.

4:25

He's a young Muslim guy fresh out of

4:27

college and ever since he was onboarded, my

4:30

food has been going missing. I

4:32

mention his religion because I'm also Muslim and

4:34

it's hard to find halal food on short

4:36

notice. It's been really difficult not having food

4:38

to eat because it's being stolen. My theory

4:40

is he stole my food because I'm the only

4:42

obviously Muslim one in the office. I wear a

4:44

hijab and have mentioned going to mosque and he

4:46

knows that my food is okay to eat. I've

4:48

tried talking to him about this, but he always

4:50

plays dumb and denies knowing anything about my missing

4:52

meals. As the title says, Omar is allergic to

4:54

peanuts. On Friday, I brought

4:56

leftovers, which included peanuts. I made sure to label

4:59

the package clearly with my name, but I didn't

5:01

think to include any label about it having peanuts

5:03

on it. No one else in the office uses

5:05

allergen labels for their food. It didn't even cross

5:07

my mind. Well, yeah, because it would be

5:09

for- Oh, this is so different. This wasn't

5:12

intentionally trying to poison him. It is though.

5:14

It is a little bit intentional. I mean-

5:16

You didn't even cross their mind. Yeah, but I

5:18

think like, I don't know. I don't know. Keep

5:21

going. Okay. But I disagree. When I

5:23

got to the fridge I

5:25

rushed to Omar's desk where I of course found him eating my food.

5:27

I told him that the lunch that he stole had

5:29

peanuts in it. His eyes got really wide and he

5:32

went for his EpiPen. It would

5:34

be funny if this went which I had conveniently stolen hours

5:36

before. No, just kidding. Thank goodness

5:38

he injected himself before the reaction got really bad. After

5:40

Omar Got done panicking about his reaction, he blew

5:42

up at me. He said I could have killed him.

5:44

And I Said that he wouldn't have been in

5:46

any danger if he wasn't a liar and a thief.

5:49

He Told me it was my fault for not putting

5:51

an allergen label on the packaging. And I said

5:53

that I'm lactose intolerant, but I don't expect everyone to

5:55

put labels on their dairy because I don't steal their

5:57

food. He said that's different because milk won't kill

5:59

you. And I said it was the same

6:01

principle. Hr is ruled in my favor but now

6:04

requires algae labels on all foods and the entire

6:06

office is not at me, not just for the

6:08

inconvenience of the labels, but because I target it.

6:10

Omar tried to kill him. Now I feel bad.

6:12

am I in the wrong here? Okay,

6:15

since I wish was in quotations By the

6:17

way, they're not admitting that they know they

6:19

sit and. But. I do think

6:21

if you're using us sheared refrigerator in you

6:23

have something that like the known out and

6:25

for a lot of people you shouldn't. Bring

6:28

that to work. It has an effect

6:30

World yes, but I think yes. But

6:32

you know, This. Is also. I

6:35

don't think the the opiates or whoever

6:37

posted this is in the wrong. You.

6:39

Don't Well okay but I'm not saying that

6:41

they were trying to murder Elmira. I know

6:43

think that they were. No I don't think

6:45

they were. I don't think they were After

6:47

we got more and more even a deeper

6:50

in the investigation of the this is interesting.

6:52

Muslims. Have to tie the two point

6:54

five percent of their salary as the class or

6:57

charity. I suggest you make extra food every day

6:59

and use allies or charity. She needs to specifically

7:01

tell Omar I've decided to give you lunch every

7:03

day and counted as my the Caught since

7:05

you are so poor. Yep, the line skill

7:07

to eat you are worthy of my charity.

7:09

Make a public seen every time you hand

7:11

over had lunch box and pray over it

7:13

so everyone else is reluctant to say anything

7:16

at the risk of sounding offensive towards Muslims. In

7:18

addition to the Halogen. Labels Don't forget to add

7:20

one that says the cost for alma. I

7:23

love they might have enough to give the

7:25

rest of her salary because that's her as

7:27

cat inside. I did once someone ah call

7:30

into my pipes has and says that they

7:32

were in a similar situation. Where someone

7:34

was. I'm. Still, In their

7:36

food and I did say to put things

7:38

in those citizens of earth it's not like

7:40

a peanut allergy but like the deary that

7:43

mates in them to the bathroom and seen

7:45

a whole bunch of. People. Wrote back:

7:47

Is it that I. Can't

7:49

do the issue with. Says

7:54

to him but. I like what?

7:56

audacity? Dear Seals And lunch

7:58

every day. know? Madison

8:01

that they were penis in it and

8:03

said the you didn't label it as

8:05

ended have the audacity to be eating

8:07

someone elses lunge at their own desk

8:09

Yeah I think this stories real. I'm

8:12

sorry discovery seems too outlandish. Me: You

8:14

think no one like all mark this

8:17

kind of or like know people whose

8:19

give us your food with feel every

8:21

single day and then to either in

8:23

front of your coworker is a more

8:25

not is it's all. as someone said,

8:27

I'm astonished that someone with a peanut

8:30

allergy and religious requirements is so cavalier

8:32

about stealing food they can't source. And

8:34

then this person said in fairness is

8:36

a thief he wasn't cavalier. Omar deliberately

8:38

chose to steal from a huge up

8:40

wearing Muslim woman. He reasoned correctly. That

8:43

if she were the he jobs, you probably

8:45

eat solid food. And while Muslim Middle Eastern

8:47

cuisine tense include nuts and seeds, peanuts and

8:49

peanut base products aren't regularly featured in that

8:51

food, so he was unlikely to run into

8:54

his allergens he didn't steal. From other coworkers,

8:56

he targeted the O P. New

8:59

in. Is what you're saying

9:01

about it Been. Outlandish and literally

9:03

had the same. Someone.

9:05

Rodent and. To. My podcast seen that someone

9:07

was eating their lunch every single day and they knew

9:09

who it was. Every single dance.

9:12

People are while in that slices to put things

9:14

in then they might not be able to eat.

9:17

I'd slap a peanut label on all my

9:19

food every day. Just so that this damn

9:21

fucker. Hr everyone in the story as dumb as

9:23

the story is fully to. Be believed that's a

9:26

good thing is save Everything is peace in

9:28

the media. Stop stealing from you. Yeah, you

9:30

could computer will like how did you recover

9:32

from somebody's lying to your face and then

9:34

you have to like keep interest. As with

9:36

the supply, the. Now or you

9:38

know that. So while as

9:40

it's a lot. Of

9:44

Okay, so obviously share a new

9:46

sub Reddit that we've never explored

9:48

before. It's the sub Reddit Stoic?

9:51

yeah, and damn. This.

9:53

As so. Did. Can either

9:55

of you define stoicism? People

9:57

don't react. And I don't

9:59

have it exact. definition now that I'm about

10:01

to read this. They don't react to psych.

10:04

It's like someone that's just like

10:06

quiet and reserved. Let

10:08

me see stoic. I think sometimes

10:11

a person who can endure pain

10:13

or hardship without showing their feelings or

10:15

complaining. A member of

10:17

the ancient philosophical school of

10:19

stoicism. What are the

10:21

four rules of stoicism? Courage,

10:24

temperance, justice, and wisdom. I

10:27

was about to say like it's sometimes put

10:29

on as like somebody that's brave is stoic.

10:33

Stoicism emphasizes keeping your emotions in check and

10:35

not getting carried away by passion or sentiment.

10:37

While this can help you stay level headed

10:40

during difficult times, it can also hinder your

10:42

ability to build deep and authentic connections. There's

10:44

always a cost benefit. Oh, no

10:47

consequences. So

10:49

Opie writes, how does stoics deal

10:51

with failure? I'm in

10:53

the process of switching jobs and in my

10:55

soon to be previous job, I wasn't able

10:58

to perform to my expectations and was regarded

11:00

in my organization as a

11:02

rather incompetent worker. There

11:04

were some people in the organization who

11:06

I did not get along with and

11:08

won against me in organizational politics. Even

11:11

though now I am moving to a better

11:13

job, one thing that affects my self-esteem going

11:15

forward is that I failed to perform in

11:17

a workplace. How do stoics

11:19

get over this and learn their lessons

11:21

from past failures? OK.

11:25

So I'm curious if you have

11:27

any thoughts on that. It's a choice, I

11:29

guess, that they're making to be a certain

11:31

way, but it does seem like I relate

11:34

to it in an autism way where

11:37

you're not seen as if

11:40

you're not having

11:44

the exact same reactions as other people to

11:46

something or you're not meeting them where they

11:48

are emotionally, people feel very called

11:50

out or weird about that. And

11:54

so I think that he should

11:56

allow himself to feel a little. I

11:58

know you're not supposed to. do, but he should

12:00

allow himself to feel a little bit of what

12:03

a average person

12:05

would feel in this situation. You're

12:08

allowed to not be over it

12:10

immediately. I think by

12:12

not being over it immediately, that will help

12:14

you parse out what the lessons are. The

12:17

commenters seem to be focusing on what can

12:19

you learn from your mistake and accepting that

12:21

failure is a part of life, but how

12:24

do we make it sort of like, how

12:26

do you take something away from the failure?

12:29

They also said that

12:32

the other people won against them,

12:34

but did they actually win if you're getting

12:36

a better job? Right.

12:39

Right. And maybe part of

12:41

stoicism is saying, oh, nothing bothers me. But

12:43

if nothing bothers you, then how can you,

12:45

again, how can you parse out what you

12:47

need to do better? Someone

12:50

said, forget the mistake, remember the

12:52

lesson. I love that. That's

12:55

a really lovely takeaway. And

12:58

also, nobody won. Failure

13:00

is inevitable. But like you're saying, it wasn't

13:03

failure. You just didn't work out at this

13:05

one job. This wasn't the job for you.

13:07

Yeah, it wasn't the job for you. Oh,

13:10

that feels like a stoic takeaway of

13:12

I need to be in a better

13:15

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19:05

mean the share ask Reddit sub reddit

19:08

post which says what's the worst mistake

19:10

you've seen someone do in the future

19:12

of. Arm

19:15

and so these are bonkers.

19:17

So this is one person

19:19

replied. Working. With the tree

19:21

turning service in Tampa I was asked

19:23

by the boss to ascend nearby tree

19:25

and said the limbs After seeing how

19:27

close they were to power lines I

19:29

refused. He that really piss off yelled

19:31

at me to clean up the area.

19:34

Then. He sent of Dallas. Dallas.

19:36

But on it's climbing spikes. Roped up

19:39

the tree and started cutting know I

19:41

was worried and kept watching him as

19:43

a picked up limbs know. Sure enough

19:45

he leaned back and before I could

19:48

yell put his sweaty their backs right

19:50

against the power lines a bright blue

19:52

flasks Arctic Cross is bad you know

19:54

like jerked away and slammed against the

19:57

tree trunk. He bounced off and back

19:59

into the. The Iron and again.

20:02

Finally, His spice got dislodged

20:04

and he fell out of the

20:06

tree, falling until his safety line

20:08

snap taught leaving him dangling upside

20:10

down like a broken back.oh my

20:12

God. I thought he was dead

20:14

but a moment later he started

20:16

moaning then screaming, i'm on fire

20:18

he yelled. We lowered into the

20:20

ground to the sound of sirens

20:22

approaching. A neighbor had seen what

20:25

happens and called empty and nasty.

20:27

Black mark curves across his back

20:29

in the current had surged down

20:31

his legs and. Through his boot

20:33

heels seeking out ground. Forces.

20:36

Heels were blown out. I

20:38

quit at the end of the

20:40

day holy shit and now he's an

20:42

excellent A specified best thing X

20:44

Men is a genetic whatever, but oh

20:47

my God. this is so. Horrible.

20:49

Imagine witnessing that. I. Like

20:51

that you knew that it was gonna happen.

20:54

Email and publicity you wow are getting electrocuted.

20:56

Seems like the worst fucking thing ever. Hit.

20:59

By lightning Electrocuted. No, No no,

21:01

no, no, nothing very bad. I

21:04

wonder if it can can use who

21:06

could use to your employer from for

21:09

money as usual bad idea in oh

21:11

should be in their. Oh.

21:13

Chef for sure! Oh this is interesting.

21:15

A woman accidentally glued her own high

21:17

shot after trying to reattach a fake

21:19

nail with industrial strength heavy duty super

21:21

glue gun and then. Rubbing on

21:23

and rubbing her eyes. That was

21:25

a plot point in a script I wrote

21:27

so readily. Yeah, I wrote a i wrote

21:30

a screenplay one time where a guy blues

21:32

his eyesight that exact same way that you

21:34

know what actually happens. oh god of and

21:36

if you're like they customer and few. Years

21:39

is like know, it's okay, It's okay. it's

21:41

fine. Excite Linda's gonna take care of the

21:43

over the undead under. Under

21:46

threat to the thing is, you'd have to

21:48

use like sometimes alcohol to break it up

21:50

to fill in in that. By your

21:52

I'll lot. Of.

21:55

Have you ever done that where you. Are

21:58

like cooking something spicy like? hello? The news

22:00

you're like, why are now I've gone

22:02

to the bathroom That's the worst. Yeah

22:04

yeah. Yeah, that's why

22:07

I don't cook my it out

22:09

lies and old burn in your

22:11

purse to the as of again

22:13

other comments, your rights in the

22:15

E R doctor wrote down in

22:17

order for fifty milligrams. I am

22:20

of Paradox K anti inflammatory painkiller

22:22

K and the nurse I was

22:24

training misread in sorry to draw

22:26

up fifty milligrams of How Doll

22:28

anti psychotic oh that's triple the

22:31

standard dose for held all early

22:33

new members were a patient with

22:35

abdominal. Pain know, the nurse I

22:37

was training didn't question it at

22:39

all. This. Wasn't a newly graduated

22:41

nurse Mind just new to my department?

22:43

Yes! I stopped her before she gave

22:45

the med know she did not continue

22:47

to work. In the Are God

22:50

oh my. God. Is.

22:52

Not wilde these are insert A

22:54

married all of these the her

22:56

receive. Okay, so here's here's the

22:58

other. A less than life or death

23:01

one. Before. Retiring I was

23:03

a branch manager for my states Dmz.

23:06

Suddenly. One of the other managers is

23:08

sick for a few days. Then. It

23:10

became a week. Two weeks then the

23:12

auditors completed their investigation and she was

23:14

gone. Turns. Out she was accepting

23:16

bribes from aspiring truck driver so they

23:18

would pass the written test. She would

23:20

see an additional one hundred to two

23:23

hundred fifty dollars a week. The. Dumb

23:25

part, The pay was decent and the

23:27

benefits were fantastic. so she gave up

23:29

decent pay, fantastic benefits, and a really

23:31

nice retirement for extra spending money. Then

23:34

there was the assistant manager who had pocket

23:37

anywhere from seven fifty to fifteen hundred dollars

23:39

a week so a better pay off, but

23:41

she was removing it from the days cash

23:43

receipts. She. Had only ever worked

23:45

with the Dmz working her way up

23:47

from clerk, she had no idea they

23:50

were accounting systems within accounting system. Know

23:52

the bake would send over deposit discrepancy

23:54

reports which he would blithely pits not

23:56

realizing that the same exact report with

23:59

also Centaur Central. office. The

24:01

wheels of state government turned slowly so she

24:03

was able to do this for over a year. Can

24:06

you imagine no one's catching this for over

24:08

a year? People usually they usually only run

24:10

an audit once a year. Oh my

24:12

god. Once those wheels start they

24:14

do not stop. She ended up

24:16

going to prison in order to

24:18

pay over thirty thousand dollars in

24:20

restitution. The full manager also got

24:22

fired because the investigation revealed that

24:24

he was rarely in the office

24:26

and left everything up to the

24:28

system. Wow.

24:32

Maybe the manager was actually

24:35

in on it too and then just pretended they

24:37

weren't there all the time. So then they wouldn't go

24:39

to jail. They were getting a little cut of that

24:41

action. That's

24:44

that's likely. I like this one. A

24:47

local dealership was promoting a contest where they would give

24:49

away a truck. I was driving around with my parents

24:51

who were visiting from out of state when we hear

24:53

the commercial for the giveaway on the radio. The drawing

24:56

was in about 15 minutes and we were right there.

24:58

So we stopped in and put our names in the

25:00

collection bin. I watched them take the bin upstairs out

25:02

of sight of the crowd. They had clearly selected the

25:05

winner in the back room and announced that if the

25:07

winner was not present they will contact them for the

25:09

winnings. So they chose a winner that was clearly from

25:11

out of state. But what they didn't realize was that

25:13

it was my mom visiting for the weekend. She walks

25:16

right up to the announcers showed her license and

25:18

said I'm so happy I won the truck. The

25:20

look on their faces was priceless. The next couple

25:22

weeks the dealership tried everything to not give us

25:24

the truck. It was clear they had no idea

25:26

to even give how to give away a truck.

25:28

But we prevailed and I'm happy to say we

25:30

love the truck. Incredible. I

25:33

was gonna say like drawing a

25:35

raffle in private is pretty suspicious.

25:37

Yeah. The whole they're definitely not planning to contact

25:39

the person. But they do that all the time.

25:41

Do you all remember when they used to have

25:44

like cars in the mall? Yeah. And then do

25:46

have those raffles and they were used they were

25:48

really what they were doing was collecting people's data.

25:50

Now they can just do it with your emails

25:52

and stuff. And so they

25:54

would say that you win. But then in the

25:56

fine print they actually weren't giving away anything. What

25:59

the heck? Yeah, I

26:01

know that a lot of times on like game shows

26:03

they'll be like you want a car or this cash

26:05

value Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, and it kind of makes

26:07

more sense just to take the cash Because

26:10

you have to pay taxes on it anyway. Yeah,

26:12

take it out the money that you get you

26:15

have to take You have to pay taxes on

26:17

the car. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah anything I mean

26:19

game show we did a whole episode of bad

26:21

with money about game show winnings and lottery winnings

26:24

You know pay taxes on everything everybody that won

26:26

the cars that Oprah gave away. They all have

26:29

to pay taxes What yeah, I

26:31

did something where they gig I think they

26:33

did something where they gave everybody

26:35

a gift some other gifts that

26:38

they could use it to cover it yet Can

26:41

I read this true off my chest because I

26:43

feel like it's something Allison would come up with

26:45

absolutely Okay, my husband's

26:47

ex-girlfriend is dying. Her last wish is to

26:49

be with my husband First

26:52

of all, I apologize if this is badly

26:54

written English is not my first language So,

26:56

please be kind as the title goes my

26:58

30 female husband's ex-girlfriend 33

27:00

female was recently diagnosed with late-stage breast cancer and

27:02

her last wish is to be with my husband

27:05

35 male My

27:07

husband let's call him Seb and his ex Tanya

27:09

became best friends after their breakup a couple of

27:11

years ago due to her infidelity They

27:14

were together for five years Needless to say

27:16

they remain in contact even before he met me

27:18

I would be lying if I said it never made me

27:20

uncomfortable It did and it still

27:22

does because Tanya is still in love with my husband

27:24

She never denied it and in fact would even call

27:26

or message me when she can't get a hold of

27:28

said Aside from cancer. She also has

27:30

some mental health issues. Thus. My husband would always tell

27:32

me to be kind and patient Seb

27:35

is no longer in love with her. Of course She cheated

27:37

and Seb swore that he will never get back with her

27:39

and that he only sees her as family Two

27:41

weeks ago my husband received a call from Tanya to tell

27:43

him the sad news My husband cried with

27:46

her and told her everything's going to be okay. They were

27:48

on the phone the whole day I'm sorry. I forgot to

27:50

mention that Seb and I moved to Australia a few months

27:52

ago because of my job and Tanya's in Canada They

27:55

mostly talked via long-distance call or whatsapp. They've

27:57

been in contact almost every day since we

27:59

left always bothers me but what can I do? After

28:02

that call my husband told me everything. To be

28:04

honest I felt bad for her and I genuinely feel

28:06

sad. I asked him what's going to happen now. Seb

28:08

told me he's going back to Canada, which is a

28:11

shock. He then told me her last wish is to

28:13

be with him. I didn't say anything except, what about

28:15

me? He said if I can't leave my job then

28:17

he's going to visit me whenever he gets the chance.

28:20

I walked out without saying anything. I've

28:22

been avoiding my husband since the phone call and I've

28:24

been ignoring him whenever he tries to bring up conversation.

28:26

Yesterday I found out he already bought a ticket and

28:29

he's flying home in January. I feel

28:31

like he is abandoning me but at the same

28:33

time I feel like I'm selfish for hating both

28:35

of them. I'm honestly thinking of getting a divorce

28:37

because obviously he's choosing her over me but at

28:39

the same time I thought of why my husband

28:41

is so attached to her. Seb considered Tanya and

28:43

her family like his own as he didn't have

28:45

one. She's probably like a sister to him now.

28:47

But Tanya doesn't feel the same. She's madly in

28:49

love with my husband and him granting her this

28:51

wish will surely make her think they have a

28:54

chance. My entire life I've been putting others first.

28:56

I've been very patient and understanding about their weird

28:58

relationship. I feel sick and confused. I want to

29:00

call her and yell at her for ruining my marriage

29:02

and for trying to steal my husband from me. For

29:04

using her sickness to get what she wants. For being

29:06

a bee. I'm so mad at both of them. What

29:08

did I do to deserve this? And

29:11

then there's a

29:13

follow up if you want it. I'm not

29:15

convinced this lady has cancer. I know I

29:17

was thinking about taking this. She has cancer. I was absolutely

29:19

thinking she doesn't have cancer. For sure

29:21

she doesn't have cancer. That whole conversation

29:23

was then plotting a way for him

29:26

to be with her period. Correct. Probably

29:28

didn't want to move to Australia. Now

29:30

he's like we get to, this is

29:32

my out to go back to Canada.

29:35

She probably doesn't have cancer. Even if

29:37

she does actually have cancer and this

29:39

is actually happening, it still should have

29:41

been a conversation. You don't just

29:43

up and leave your spouse. This is a conversation that

29:45

you have. I don't care who it is. Yeah. Even

29:47

if it's like, and also like to go be with,

29:50

it's like you could go visit. Yeah. You're going

29:52

to go live there for an

29:55

unspecified amount of time. I thought they

29:57

say the cancer was terminal. I'm

29:59

sorry. I'm sorry. I'm not that he with

30:01

was like we fuck again. Yeah, I fuck

30:03

one. Yeah, that's what I thought I guess

30:06

it's really just be around. Oh But

30:09

the wife thinks that he's

30:11

definitely gonna fuck her though, right? Yeah,

30:13

she does Yeah, she said I think that

30:15

this will give them a chance to heard

30:17

this the idea that they'll get back together

30:20

Okay, also it's also kind of Maybe

30:24

naive to feel like that that her husband

30:26

has no romantic feelings. Yeah Yeah,

30:29

and then I mean she does say

30:31

my husband's ex is dying so I guess

30:33

it is terminal She's gonna make

30:36

a miraculous recovery. Whatever. Anyway, first

30:38

of all, I apologize for these people who've been messaging me

30:40

for an update But blah blah blah. Okay, Seb

30:42

did end up flying to Canada in January of

30:44

last year before he flew we talked about the

30:46

situation I told him I've been in contact with

30:48

a divorce lawyer. He was surprised He said he

30:50

didn't expect me to leave him because he just

30:52

needs to be with his family. Oh, well, fuck

30:55

you Okay. I remember at the time all I

30:57

felt was anger I was so mad that he's

30:59

making it sound like I'm a bad person Nevertheless,

31:01

the conversation didn't end well. He left without any

31:03

closure and said he would be back in March

31:06

I was left alone January to March of last year was

31:08

the darkest days of my life I knew I did nothing

31:11

wrong, but I ended up blaming myself for everything during

31:13

the entire time He was gone. He rarely called

31:15

to check on me. I had to call him most of

31:17

the time I know I am dumb I

31:19

begged for his attention to give me some of his time

31:21

to be with me again all those times He kept telling

31:23

me Tonya needs him more March I was

31:25

expecting him to come back so we could talk but he didn't

31:27

come back He says to me he said he needs to stay

31:30

and promise he'll be back in May I don't

31:32

know what happened to me when I got that call in early March

31:34

saying that he won't be flying back to Australia I

31:36

feel like that's when a switch suddenly turned off and

31:39

somehow I stopped caring when he told me he

31:41

won't be back until May I knew I had to

31:43

move forward without him fast forward to May. He was

31:45

back. Is she dead? Anyway

31:47

that day we sat down to talk and he broke

31:49

down and said I can't lose you too when he

31:51

said that I thought Tonya was gone, but no, she's

31:53

not as far as I know. She's still alive to

31:55

this day Yeah, when I asked what happened. He told

31:58

me Tonya asked him to go back and be with

32:00

Me: He said john yeah sorry for everything

32:02

set. they want to leave her especially when he

32:04

saw a bad she was doing. They had a

32:06

fight and forty damn time he wants him out

32:08

of her life. She just like realize that her

32:10

fantasy wasn't really into. he was like kind of

32:12

shitty to hang out with in person. Oh for

32:14

sure. So she

32:16

says there are incredible. Later

32:19

I told him I'm divorcing him and at first

32:22

he refused to leave. so as a long and

32:24

painful process. but on my birthday in July he

32:26

finally realized he couldn't manipulate me. By August he

32:28

was back in Canada. Divorce is not finalized. With

32:31

separated since you last tried to contact me, Tanya

32:33

also tried to contact me. Everyone including my family

32:35

tried to convince me to give him a second

32:37

chance. Nothing can make me change my mind. I'm

32:40

now doing this alone as on new friends I

32:42

moved to a bigger apartment near the beach. I'm

32:44

going to polities I've traveled, met some amazing people

32:46

I feel like a completely different person said still

32:48

bothers me from time to time but he know

32:51

they couldn't care less anymore. He's that I'm an

32:53

alcoholic and couldn't get a good job because of

32:55

it is mostly. Couchsurfing because Tanya doesn't want him

32:57

to live with her l a while that bitch.

33:01

Time. And now I'm sorry to

33:03

see said it wasn't just Tanya I think

33:05

that they got together and they both had

33:07

Athena see about how this was in ago

33:09

game. Once they were living they get like

33:11

it was going good and for the first

33:13

three months. yeah and then we'll make. Roll.

33:16

Around it was like this isn't working.

33:18

These lady was sick see myself as

33:20

know how things you sick. Think

33:22

it's been six months together and the

33:24

fantasy was the reality. So he absolutely.

33:27

Absolutely. Of I'm so

33:29

confused by her family suggesting she should take

33:32

him sometimes. Think about it though, How many

33:34

of these the we read where the family

33:36

as like don't get divorced My family is

33:38

always like ones are to make it work

33:40

this is your as then they're just. Like

33:43

worried about the printing alone in. An

33:45

especially cause she's now. In a different

33:47

countries and we were her the rest

33:49

of her family's to Cypriot Canada too.

33:51

Bad. this is a real story

33:53

about getting your comeuppance on my

33:56

laptop israel oh no consequences is

33:58

still happening It's

34:00

fascinating that Tanya tried to reach out to her

34:02

too. Fuck off, girl. I wonder what

34:04

Tanya had to say. Tanya probably like, oh, I'd never

34:06

meant to come between you. He

34:09

just offered to come visit. I thought you

34:11

were okay with it. You should probably take

34:13

him back, like, I don't know, like now,

34:15

like maybe like make sure. Can you take

34:17

him now? And maybe tell him never to

34:19

talk to me again. Maybe, I don't know,

34:21

just get spitballing. Or she actually is dying

34:23

and she feels bad. She feels guilty for

34:25

breaking them up because she like, and she's

34:27

like, I can't die and have this guilt

34:30

on me. I'm going to hell, baby.

34:32

Like your last act is to ruin a marriage. Yeah.

34:37

So many different, fuck me up. Would

34:41

you get into a relationship with someone that was

34:43

that close with their ex? I

34:45

mean, yeah, you have to. You would?

34:48

I wouldn't. Gay people. I'm like really good

34:50

friends with one of my exes. Me too. And

34:52

I'm friends with his wife too. Oh, I'm not.

34:55

We talk every single day. Pretty much do. Like

34:57

we hang out all the time. But did you

34:59

break up for a reason? Why did you guys

35:01

break up? Because we just weren't right for each other.

35:04

But that's different than breaking up because of cheating.

35:06

That's true. Breaking up because of cheating, both

35:08

people are still in love. One person just

35:10

made a mistake. That's different than like a

35:12

relationship that's run its course and like it's over and

35:15

no one wants to be back together. Yeah,

35:17

I guess that's true. Bumbleman and I were just not right for

35:19

each other. But I

35:21

talk to him like almost every day. Would you

35:23

date him for five years? No. I

35:26

understand. I posed the question incorrectly. I

35:29

mean, in the context of this, it's

35:31

a big story. Douglas

35:43

is one of many who found a new

35:45

life through Seattle's Union Gospel Mission. I was

35:47

living on the streets when I heard this

35:50

guy talk about how he got clean and

35:52

sober at the mission. So I decided to

35:54

give it a try. I could feel something

35:56

working inside of me and I knew I

35:58

was getting better. Today, my number

36:01

one goal is to stay clean and

36:03

sober. And Grace

36:06

will lead me

36:08

home. To hear more, volunteer

36:10

or donate, visit ugm.org. Has

36:13

dealing with stress and trying to get more focused

36:15

in New Year's resolution you haven't cracked yet or

36:17

don't really know how to fix? I

36:20

have a lot of trouble staying focused and

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36:24

think the not being able to stay focused

36:26

really dovetails with that. So

36:28

if there was a way for me to keep

36:31

my focus that didn't also cause my brain to

36:33

get so scattered with stress, I would

36:35

love to be able to fix it. I

36:37

sometimes can't focus on the task at hand because

36:39

I'm so busy realizing that there are things I

36:41

need to do on the Just Between Us Instagram

36:43

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36:46

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38:01

Do you have another one? I do. Shit

38:04

mom groups say. I

38:07

do not envy her daughter-in-law one bit. And then this

38:09

is a post from Facebook from Shit Mom

38:11

Group say. Women

38:13

who have witnessed their once alpha sons become

38:15

submissive to their wives from how many pairs

38:18

of socks they're allowed to have to where

38:20

everyone eats dinner to how many toys and

38:22

from who the kids can have, etc. How

38:24

do you handle it? OK, so this

38:27

is people taking screenshots from mom

38:29

groups on Facebook. Yes. And then sharing

38:31

them to be like, these moms are bonkers. Yes.

38:36

I already have an issue with anyone

38:38

being like my alpha son. Right. So that's

38:40

where people are. That's the first thing people

38:42

are not into. That's the first

38:44

thing people are like, I'm sorry, what? Like

38:47

someone said, oh, no, an evil mom or

38:50

wife who wants family dinners and less than

38:52

six thousand toys strewn around her house. Wow.

38:55

The sock part sounds made up. And then someone

38:57

said she probably got rid of his old holy

38:59

socks or something. Yeah. My mom doesn't want my

39:02

dad to buy more socks because he has way

39:04

too many socks. He probably probably has like two

39:06

hundred pairs of socks. I thought I had a

39:08

lot. That's probably got like 50. He's

39:11

got like drawers and drawers. I

39:14

raised my son to listen to everything I say

39:16

and expect him to be a controlling partner so

39:18

I could dictate what they both do for the

39:20

rest of my life. Now my son is in

39:22

an equitable partnership and his wife is teaching him

39:24

to reject my overbearing tendencies and he still doesn't

39:26

have the confidence to fully stand up for himself

39:28

to me. So he just blames the decisions they

39:30

make together on his wife. What should I

39:32

do about this? I

39:35

agree. That is what that means.

39:37

Oh my God. Oh, wow. Yeah.

39:40

It's like the parental instinct

39:43

of like being so afraid

39:45

of a partner being controlling. It's like I'm the one

39:47

that's supposed to be. Exactly.

39:50

Exactly. Yeah, exactly. It's

39:52

very much when your kid

39:55

starts taking advice from

39:57

their partner or has another person in the

39:59

ear saying Hey, your mom shouldn't treat

40:01

you this way. That's that narcissist parents.

40:03

That is the worst case scenario Alpha

40:07

Sun is so fucking funny. What

40:09

why do boy moms want to fuck their kids? I

40:11

know Okay,

40:16

this is from our today

40:18

I fucked up today I fucked up by

40:20

donating $15,041

40:23

to a poor community in Bangladesh instead of the $150

40:25

donation I intended This

40:32

Happened in February of last year but my friends

40:34

have been telling me I need to post this

40:36

story online So here goes nothing My

40:38

wife and I both 31 years old at

40:40

the time moved into a new three-unit apartment

40:42

building in San Francisco One of

40:45

our neighbors is a 70 something year old retired

40:47

veteran. We'll call him Joe for contests

40:49

Joe is a white American guy and

40:51

he's also a devout Hindu priest. Okay

40:53

interesting one day I run into Joe

40:55

in my hallway and he tells me about this charity

40:58

He manages for a community in Bangladesh. I wanted to

41:00

support my neighbor and the charity So I asked Joe

41:02

to send me to go fund me link the

41:04

next day at work I go to the go fund me page and donate $150

41:06

or so I

41:08

thought moments later. I got a text

41:10

on my phone warning me of an unusually large transaction

41:12

on my credit card I'm confused and

41:14

swiped to open the text message. It says I

41:16

have made a payment of $15,041

41:20

to go fund me immediately. I'm sweating. How

41:22

could I have donated? $15,000

41:25

I spend the next 10 to 15 minutes Retracing

41:27

my steps and finally realized my credit card starts

41:30

with the numbers four and one It

41:32

seems I had accidentally started typing my credit card

41:34

information while my cursor was still in the donation

41:36

box and just like that 150 became 150 41 Yikes,

41:42

I call go fund me support line in a

41:44

panic when I finally connect with a human I

41:47

explain what happened no need to worry He tells

41:49

me they will initiate a refund of the transaction

41:51

which should process in three to seven business days

41:53

That's a huge relief I then asked

41:55

the agent if the charity will be able to see

41:57

the donation I go fund me page and still it's

41:59

refunded What do you mean? The

42:01

agent asked me. What do you mean what do I mean?

42:03

Was my response. Will they be able to see the

42:05

$15,041 donation? Unfortunately

42:08

yes, the agent tells me. They will be

42:10

able to see it until the refund process

42:12

is complete. I tell him that's a big

42:15

problem as the entire GoFundMe was hardly raised

42:17

at that point. Surely they will notice

42:19

their fundraiser doubling overnight. My plan

42:21

was to knock on Joe's door the following morning to give

42:23

him the full story so that he could pass it along

42:25

to his contacts in Bangladesh. So when I woke up the

42:27

next morning I looked at my phone and had 40 plus

42:30

notifications on Facebook. Someone had

42:32

sent me a friend request, had liked many of

42:34

my old posts and had sent me many messages.

42:37

Immediately I was concerned when I saw the individual

42:39

messaging me had a Hindu name, but I never

42:41

could have imagined what I saw when I opened

42:43

his first message. The man had sent me a

42:45

video of himself from Bangladesh surrounded by dozens of

42:47

impoverished people holding bags of food thanking

42:49

me by name Michael for my generous

42:51

donation. A big round of applause for

42:54

Michael. At this point I've left

42:56

out of bed and I'm pacing. Part of me

42:58

wants to scream, part of me wants to crack

43:00

up laughing. I start swiping through the man's messages

43:02

and it's picture after picture of poor Bangladeshi thanking

43:04

me for my kind donation. Literally

43:06

hundreds of photos of frail elderly disabled malnourished

43:09

individuals holding signs with my name. Thank you

43:11

Michael, thank you Michael. I've uploaded a portion

43:13

of the video and a few photos for

43:15

you guys to see here. I didn't click

43:17

on that. Needless to say I

43:19

couldn't live with myself just donating $150 after seeing how

43:22

the community responded

43:24

to the $15041. I

43:27

decided the least I could do is add a

43:29

zero so it is readably findable online if you

43:31

feel compelled to search for it if I'm telling the truth. I

43:34

don't think this is a win-win. Well

43:37

then people put, he got people to donate to

43:39

the original. That's what I was going to say.

43:42

It's because of that he was able to then

43:44

tell other people the story. Yeah. If

43:46

you're rich then now the actual donation link

43:49

has $191,996 so people made up for it.

44:00

That he posted to Reddit? yeah, headache Then

44:02

he likes more than made up for. What?

44:04

Who guided. By. I was like.

44:07

Oh. That is though that like I like

44:09

we really have like a tear me as

44:11

i went as i wore alone about those

44:13

people like oh so thankful and then it

44:16

being taken away from the i know I

44:18

think I would have did geologists have time

44:20

that after just skip given them and I

44:22

found a life of work to make that

44:24

money by I would be and guy like

44:27

that's gonna be my charity donations for the

44:29

next however long. Maybe. He needed

44:31

the money though. like. Okay,

44:33

well then I glance through the credit

44:36

card via foot. He. Does may have

44:38

a higher limit on his crew absolutely but you

44:40

know as as that I would said I figure

44:42

one now. I could not read, obsess, Over.

44:47

To keep me awake expert it's not a

44:49

yeah hundred percent hundred per se and eighty

44:51

nine and maybe thing you can do is

44:54

and go around here friends and family me

44:56

like if anyone would like to contribute to

44:58

the cyclone thousand dollars that I have done

45:00

entrepreneur who did it take yes agreed agreed

45:03

I would definitely I would do like I'd

45:05

go fund me for myself living it felt

45:07

like but what he did he ended up

45:10

make. Getting more money we know that

45:12

you know what of that money was from him,

45:14

lol, let me see cause I bet you could

45:16

I bet you could. Up the date like

45:18

I bet you could see when a

45:20

bunch of donations came in and Wednesday

45:22

that he posted this. The. Like he

45:24

posted this ah in the. Nine.

45:27

Months ago. So what's nine months

45:29

at a given? It happened way before this out

45:31

that you can say no. but now I'm saying

45:33

he posted it nine months ago. So that means

45:35

that like that would be when a lot of

45:37

don't designs and man on the nine months ago.

45:41

Will. Lot of people are still donating to it.

45:44

Like. It seems like there's a lot. Of

45:46

ten dollar Engines Ten dollar. The.

45:48

Original one. The goal

45:50

was just. Sixteen.

45:52

Thousand Yeah, It

45:55

was just when he when he takes it

45:57

was twenty six. So yeah, And. Now

45:59

they've. got over almost

46:01

$291. All

46:03

right, so maybe it was a win-win.

46:06

Yeah, people are still donating pretty regularly,

46:08

$10, $20. So

46:10

it did get a lot of play. One guy donated 2,500.

46:15

That's sweet. Oh, this guy did 2,500 twice.

46:19

Look, in the comments, people are saying, I'm here

46:21

from Michael's story. So it is. Oh, really? Yeah.

46:24

OK. Maybe it was all made up, and it's

46:26

a great story. Yeah. We get people to donate.

46:28

Yeah, most of the people in the comments are

46:30

here saying that I'm here from Michael. And

46:33

then Smosh put it on

46:35

their podcast, too. And so they're saying Michael

46:37

and Smosh brought me here. And now we're

46:39

going to do the same thing. Yeah. Wow.

46:43

Oh, my god. I would have thrown

46:45

up. Like all the

46:47

comments are that. So yeah. OK,

46:49

so you're right. You're right. Now

46:51

we're helping them. We'll put

46:53

the link in the Patreon. I guess so. OK,

46:58

is it my turn for it or not? No, it's

47:00

mine. OK, your turn. Let's

47:02

see. People

47:05

talking about having webbed

47:07

feet, and it makes them faster

47:09

for swimming. Definitely. OK.

47:12

Definitely. Webbed toes, I should

47:15

say, not webbed. OK, here's

47:17

a pose that says, are people with

47:19

webbed toes slash fingers better swimmers, or

47:21

is it purely aesthetic? And

47:24

then someone replied, my buddy has webbed toes.

47:26

He was a demon in the pool, LOL.

47:29

Michael Phelps has webbed toes. No, he

47:31

does. Really? Yeah, someone says,

47:33

pretty sure it makes you a better swimmer. I

47:35

think Michael Phelps has a little bit of webbing,

47:37

which has helped him be a faster swimmer. I

47:40

dated a guy with webbed toes. But then someone else

47:42

said, that's not true, and he just has big feet.

47:45

Flipper feet, little flipper feet. I

47:50

was pretty, like this guy said, he had webbed toes.

47:52

And I was like, yeah, right. I was pretty gagged

47:54

he did have webbed toes. I've seen them, seen some

47:56

webbed toes before. What do we, oh, we don't write

47:58

this show. OK. We start

48:00

doing it. Thank

48:05

you all so much for listening. We'll

48:08

be back on Wednesday with another

48:10

brand new episode of Just Between

48:12

Us and you can get access

48:14

to all four of our episodes

48:16

ad-free on Patreon at patreon.com/just between

48:19

us for only $3 a

48:21

month for four ad-free episodes, one

48:24

exclusive YouTube video and

48:26

also videos of

48:29

us recording this show so you could see a

48:32

lot of our fun social expressions. So

48:34

please check that out. Just Between

48:37

Us is a Galveston production hosted

48:39

by me, Allison Raskin and me,

48:41

Gabe Dunn produced by Melissa Demont

48:43

and Diamond M Print Productions edited

48:45

by Coco Lorenz and production assistants

48:47

by Melanie D. Watson. Brendan Burns

48:49

composed our killer's theme music. Join

48:51

our Patreon to watch full episodes and listen

48:54

ad-free. The link is in the description and

48:56

make sure to follow us on TikTok, Instagram,

48:58

Discord and Reddit. To

49:26

hear more, volunteer or donate,

49:28

visit ugm.org. Douglas

49:31

is one of many who found a new

49:33

life through Seattle's Union Gospel Mission. I was

49:35

living on the streets when I heard this

49:37

guy talk about how he got clean and

49:40

sober at the mission. So I

49:42

decided to give it a try. I could

49:44

feel something working inside of me and I

49:46

knew I was getting better. Today my number

49:49

one goal is to stay clean and sober.

50:00

Douglas is

50:03

one of many who found a new life

50:05

through Seattle's Union Gospel Mission. I was living

50:07

on the streets when I heard this guy

50:09

talk about how he got clean and sober

50:11

at the mission. So I decided to give

50:14

it a try. I could feel something working

50:16

inside of me and I knew I was

50:18

getting better. Today my number one goal is

50:20

to stay clean and sober. And

50:23

grace will lead

50:25

me home. To hear

50:27

more, volunteer or donate,

50:29

visit ugm.org. At

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