0:00

Kakos is ad

0:02

free. To help keep it that way,

0:04

consider heading to cakosindustries dot

0:06

com slash patreon and

0:09

pledging a dollar or more a

0:11

month. What

0:14

you are about to hear is paper

0:17

crinkling. Hello

0:28

and welcome to the Kakos Industries corporate

0:30

shareholder announcements. At Kakos Industries,

0:32

we help our clients to do evil better.

0:35

I am core indeed the third CEO, and

0:37

I am as always obligated to

0:40

share these announcements with you, Kakos

0:42

industry shareholders. Happy

0:46

new year. I hope that it treats

0:48

you and all of yours well. Last

0:51

time, we gust in detail the confusion

0:54

that I have been experiencing regarding

0:56

the Matt Moss and just what the fuck

0:58

it wants from us. If you are

1:00

recently joining us or you don't

1:02

know what I'm talking about due to the consequences

1:05

of an experiment that we ran here at Kakos

1:07

Industries, Then let me remind

1:09

you that the Mat Moss is this sort

1:11

of black boos that lives in

1:14

and around Kakos Industries, and we've

1:16

recently learned quite a bit about it sentience,

1:19

and its ability to affect and

1:21

infect people, and to somehow

1:23

connect them to some sort of semi

1:26

hive mind. I'll admit that if you're

1:28

coming into this knowledge cold, then that probably

1:30

sounds like a lot, but please understand

1:33

that this has been a slow build for those

1:35

of us following along in real time.

1:37

I'll get into the updates we've had

1:40

in due time, but for now let's get

1:42

through the regular formalities. Today's

1:49

broadcast is coming to you from a guitar

1:51

practice amp that has been modified

1:54

to include a radio and

1:56

playback these announcements. As

1:58

far as our radios go, this

2:01

one doesn't really require much

2:03

stretching of the imagination. But

2:05

not all of our radios can be

2:07

animatronic or using some

2:10

sort of by a lot antenna or

2:12

some other high-tech, what have

2:14

you? Sometimes you get

2:16

something that has a speaker and

2:18

an antenna in it. Apparently,

2:21

this radio comes to us from a collaboration

2:23

between our division of Shred and

2:26

Dave's guitars. Apparently,

2:29

the division of shred had the wild

2:31

idea to increase global evil by

2:33

teaching all of the world's children to

2:35

play heavy metal. this

2:38

idea is flawless, it

2:40

somehow ran into trouble when

2:42

even teaching children to play heavy

2:44

metal requires a significant mental

2:46

hurdle that not every child is

2:49

ready to make. There is a

2:51

certain amount of focus required and

2:53

repetition and all that.

2:55

So it can be difficult to get kids

2:58

to sit still and learn.

3:00

Even if it is, both badass and

3:03

super evil. So

3:05

we have like a lot of

3:07

extra practice amps. They

3:10

are so fucking cheap when you buy

3:12

in bulk. Anyway, it's

3:14

somehow in stereo because that's

3:16

important to the division of Radio Trans mission,

3:19

but I can't exactly see how. The

3:22

sound quality is a little boosted in

3:24

the mids, but you can dial in the tone with

3:26

the e Q controls if you want.

3:29

And if things aren't knocking your socks

3:31

off, then go ahead and crank the

3:33

game. It won't get that

3:35

loud, but it can get a whole lot more

3:37

distorted. Of course,

3:40

these announcements are strictly for industry's

3:42

shareholders So if you're not

3:44

a shareholder, then you'll need to start shredding

3:47

right away. I don't care

3:49

what you shred with a seven

3:51

string baritone guitar works just

3:53

fine. Scissors will

3:56

also do. Pantamine is

3:58

probably acceptable also. Whatever

4:01

you do, you'll need to become evil

4:03

as soon as possible. There

4:05

are frequencies hidden in this broadcast

4:07

that can rattle you to your core and

4:10

send you directly into madness.

4:13

If you don't embrace the darkness within,

4:15

immediately. We

4:19

recently had Yule shareholders,

4:22

you were probably there. As

4:25

always, we celebrate the darkest night

4:27

of the year with a big celebration including

4:29

a bonfire, excessive imbibing,

4:32

and some downright unruly dancing

4:35

and singing. I am also

4:37

contractually obligated to dress

4:39

as the vampire monster and

4:42

to dole out punishments to all of

4:44

you who so wish for your evil deeds

4:46

by spanking you with a bunch

4:48

of sticks. This process

4:50

takes up most of my if I'm

4:52

honest. So I don't usually get to

4:54

enjoy the other parts. Like

4:56

you might be thinking, how many of the

4:58

shareholders really like being bent

5:00

over and or punished? And

5:02

or spanked. And I think you can

5:04

stop right there because you know deep down

5:06

that it's already a lot. For

5:09

me, it's business. I

5:11

emphasize that every year.

5:13

I have been known to enjoy

5:15

my work at other times of the year, but

5:17

whacking people with thorny just

5:19

gets tiring after a few hours.

5:21

I like that you like it.

5:24

Of course, I like bringing evil to

5:26

your lives. There are

5:28

a few of you from whom I look

5:30

forward to the one minute updates on

5:32

your life as we go through the ritual.

5:34

I get to know quite a few of you

5:36

that way. There weren't

5:38

any awkward surprises this

5:40

year. Kimi did not set up

5:42

Eddie to make a fool of herself or

5:44

me this year. She's far too busy

5:46

with Clarissa and Hedera, my

5:49

liaisons to the Matmos. As

5:51

we've established, they just kind

5:53

of lounge around the building in

5:55

a way sort of reminiscent

5:57

of corpses. They've

5:59

attracted a lot of attention from this behavior.

6:03

Kimmy and Eddie still spend a lot of

6:05

time together, but Kimmy's more

6:07

mischievous inclinations are directed

6:09

elsewhere. About an hour

6:12

before dawn during the celebration, I

6:14

was finally free enough to sit

6:16

down and enjoy a nice glass of beer

6:18

with Kimionetti as Most

6:20

of you lost your shit around the bonfire,

6:22

screaming and flailing, and

6:25

welcoming the sun once more.

6:30

We also had the gist of all recently.

6:33

Quite a few of you actually wrote

6:35

jokes and did your best to entertain

6:37

a crowd. Others of

6:39

you lampooned me in tired

6:41

and lame ways, and I had you sent

6:43

to party jail for the rest of the

6:45

night. Look, if

6:47

you don't have a party jail at your get

6:49

togethers, then I think

6:51

you're missing out. I don't think I'm

6:53

gonna party without a party jail if I

6:55

can help it. Anyone

6:57

harshing your fun time? Put them

6:59

in party jail. Simple.

7:01

I love it. Our

7:05

New Year's Eve celebration is always

7:08

a blast. This year,

7:10

the theme was doing a lot of drugs.

7:13

I think that was the theme last

7:15

year and maybe even the year before,

7:17

just lots of drugs, and

7:20

alcohol, which is like

7:22

the worst drug really. I

7:24

assume that we are all paying for

7:26

our excesses today in some way.

7:28

May your recovery be speedy?

7:32

We are

7:34

looking at having the festival of dark

7:37

and the festival of genes in

7:39

person again this year. The festival

7:41

of darkness will be about finding

7:43

the darkest places where humans

7:45

can still exist. Which is

7:47

usually inside

7:49

of our hearts. The festival

7:51

of genes will have flavors

7:53

this year. I am

7:55

so excited to figure out what that

7:57

means. I

8:03

mentioned that I would get into some

8:05

updates about the Matt Moss

8:07

people. I mentioned last

8:09

time that there seems to be

8:11

Some difference between the kinds

8:14

of cloaks that the people infected with

8:16

the Matt Moss wear, I

8:18

have continued to receive dead animals

8:20

and other gross things from the people

8:23

in magenta cloaks. I don't

8:25

even really wanna tell you that much about

8:27

it because it's just unpleasant. It's

8:30

like a cartoonish level of unhinged.

8:33

Anyway, I needed some answers.

8:35

The only way to get answers

8:37

without drinking the ooze is

8:39

through Clarissa and Hadera. So

8:41

I decided to go limp with

8:44

them. I mentioned their penchant

8:46

for just sort of taking up

8:48

space and trying to look as

8:50

dead as possible. Well, I

8:52

did my best to emulate

8:54

this technique. I found

8:56

them and I lay down. Not

8:58

quite the way that Kimmy has

9:00

approached them in the past respecting their

9:02

space and time. I'm a busy

9:04

man and I need answers

9:06

quickly. I upped the

9:08

pressure. I lay

9:10

across their laps as they sat

9:12

against the wall. Completely

9:14

sprawled, deadweight. Ordinarily,

9:17

I tried to respect people's personal

9:19

space and boundaries, but it was honestly

9:21

no worse than they've done to me,

9:24

applying literal pressure

9:26

with my whole body. If

9:28

I thought it wasn't annoying enough, I could

9:31

shift and make much more uncomfortable.

9:33

And they couldn't escape without moving

9:35

me, so it made it really difficult for

9:37

them to sneak away or

9:39

change anything without admitting defeat.

9:42

Truth be told they could handle what I

9:44

thought for sure would be too much

9:46

contact and awkward spinal

9:48

positions for much longer than

9:50

anticipated. So I started

9:52

to lean in with the listless

9:54

mowns. I couldn't even

9:56

stand myself during that time. It

9:58

was that annoying. Without

10:01

meeting around the bush, Clarissa asked

10:03

me what I wanted to know. I

10:05

rolled away from them, freeing them from the

10:07

burden of my weight, and I got to the

10:09

point. I asked about the

10:11

magenta cloaks. Klaris

10:14

responded that they

10:16

belonged to the princess. I

10:18

knew that they had likely budgeted

10:20

me a number of words so I

10:22

had to be brief. I asked if

10:24

the princess was one of the monsters. Hadera

10:28

simply said, she's

10:30

a pool. I started

10:32

to roll back onto their legs when

10:34

Clarissa added that the princess

10:37

is an old collection of Matmoss

10:39

separate from the other pools. And

10:41

she's gone weird. I

10:44

gathered that her followers shared

10:46

in that weirdness that isolation,

10:49

that psychological decay. Hadera

10:51

added that they

10:53

don't like hang I

10:56

think that means that they're kept separate

10:58

and they don't jive with the rest of the

11:00

people living with the Matmos. I

11:03

asked why they kept to themselves. Klarissa

11:05

rolled over and put her forehead on the

11:07

ground in anguish. Fucking

11:10

politics. There

11:12

was an exasperated sigh. Hadera

11:16

added, they probably heard we

11:18

were talking to you and had

11:20

some FOMO. I

11:22

asked what I should do. Clarissa

11:24

just kind of screamed into the ground.

11:27

They suck so much. She

11:29

said, I took that to

11:31

mean there wasn't an obvious

11:33

answer. I knew I had

11:35

limited time left before they went

11:37

silent again. I asked,

11:39

what about the dancers and the slightly

11:41

purplish cloaks? Hidera

11:44

said, oh, they

11:46

belonged to Buddy. He's chill.

11:48

I could sense that they were

11:50

just about to clam up. Who

11:53

do you belong to? I

11:55

asked. Clarissa

11:57

sat up, looked me dead in the eye and

11:59

said, fucking not you

12:01

ass hat. I was

12:03

surprised by that outburst to be sure I

12:05

was so caught off guard all I could

12:07

think to say was, well, I

12:09

know that. Hidera wanted to

12:11

head off my next question and said,

12:14

it doesn't work that way. Okay?

12:16

At around that time,

12:18

Kimmy had appeared with her makeup kits ready to

12:20

do some wild designs on the

12:22

faces of Clarissa and Heathera. She

12:25

was surprised to see me sitting there

12:27

by them, and to see that they

12:29

were talking to me. Seeing

12:31

an opportunity, they both sprang up

12:33

with much more energy than I would expect them

12:35

to have. Beach grabbed one of Kimmy's

12:37

hands. Take us to get

12:39

dinner, Clarissa said, Kimmy

12:41

could barely sputter an ascent

12:43

she was so excited that they actually

12:45

wanted to do something with her. Kimmy

12:48

looked back at me with a surprised

12:50

face that seemed to say, I don't

12:52

know what you did, but thank

12:54

you. I'd gotten about as much

12:56

information as I had expected, so I

12:58

went on with my day. I checked

13:00

in on Kimi later and she told me

13:02

a bit about how the evening went.

13:04

She said that it started promising.

13:06

The Mat Moss twins wanted her to

13:08

take them shopping, so she went

13:10

down to the taco small and took them to

13:12

a couple of the shops. She told

13:14

me they picked out nothing but black sweats,

13:17

and they put them on under the robes

13:19

and insisted on shoplifting.

13:21

They convince her to get an ear

13:23

piercing from a kiosk. Then

13:25

she took them to one of the nicer restaurants

13:27

in the building where they proceeded to get

13:30

very drunk. She

13:32

described them chugging wine like it

13:34

was water, and they had just been

13:36

exercising in the summer heat.

13:38

They ate some expensive food, and

13:40

then proceeded to vomit in the

13:42

halls on the way back. She got them

13:44

cleaned up and then just sort of

13:46

left them where she found them. Not all

13:48

that educational as I under stand

13:50

it. That being said, it was definitely

13:52

a change of pace, which I

13:54

think Kimi appreciated. Now,

13:59

I could just leave all of this up to time

14:01

and the benevolence of this black

14:03

sludge to someday tell me

14:05

everything that's actually going on. But

14:07

I have a company to run and while a

14:09

certain amount of chaos does paradoxically

14:12

improve morale and our functionality,

14:15

At a certain point, you lose that benefit

14:17

and things just start trending downwards.

14:20

So a group of the magenta

14:22

hooded figures brought me a box

14:24

filled with at rats, and I

14:26

gave the signal, and my security

14:28

team grabbed them and took them in for

14:30

interrogation. I don't have

14:32

to wait I don't have to hope. I don't have

14:34

to give them space to do

14:36

whatever. Unfortunately, the

14:38

people in the magenta hood seem to be

14:40

faring about as well mentally

14:42

as you might assume from their gifts.

14:44

They are a variety of

14:47

ages, but they all have this kind of

14:49

strange look in their eyes.

14:51

They make plenty of noise, but they're not

14:53

really speaking any languages we could

14:55

figure out. And the

14:57

laughter is just

15:00

bone chilling. There

15:02

is a coherence in a sense

15:04

to the way they speak. They

15:06

seem to understand each other.

15:09

Then again, they could be communicating entirely

15:12

telepathically or however the

15:14

communication through the Matmos

15:16

works. But who knows what

15:18

they are thinking or saying to each

15:20

other? Our best interrogators

15:23

found that basically nothing worked

15:25

no offers, no bribes, no threats,

15:27

no pain. They just

15:29

kind of roll with it. At

15:31

a certain point, the interrogators gave

15:34

up. We were able

15:36

to identify a few of the

15:38

people based on DNA samples and

15:40

other biometrics. The

15:42

ones we were able to identify were

15:45

former employees who just disappeared for

15:47

the most part. A few

15:49

were from divisions that closed down and they

15:51

kind of slipped through the cracks when

15:54

reassignment came up, possibly

15:56

literally as well as figuratively.

15:59

Others just walked off the job one day.

16:02

The story isn't that different from what

16:04

we've learned about other people who live

16:06

with the Matmoss. Of course,

16:08

some employees disappear before we're

16:10

able to build a complete profile on

16:12

them. Contrary to

16:14

what some may believe, we don't always

16:17

bring people in on day

16:19

one and then extract their DNA and

16:21

fingerprints and whatever else might

16:23

identify them. Dangerous jobs,

16:25

sure, we need to. But for

16:27

your average employee, not

16:29

always necessary. And

16:31

besides, we can always collect DNA and

16:33

other important information from the

16:35

trash our employees discard or leave

16:38

at their desks. We have

16:40

our ways okay, but

16:42

some people go missing before we have

16:44

the information. We're

16:46

guessing that's the case with some of the younger

16:48

members of this group. We

16:50

couldn't get anything out of them. We

16:53

told them not to kill anymore animals,

16:55

to give to me. We told them that

16:57

was creepiest fuck. It

17:00

probably made no difference. We

17:02

let them have their hoods back

17:04

and we let them loose. We

17:07

also took in some of the people with

17:09

these slightly purplish robes that

17:11

do all of the dancing. They

17:13

are pretty chill, very calm, not

17:15

particularly deep. Couldn't really

17:17

tell us what was going

17:18

on, but they kept talking about Buddy. They

17:21

really liked Buddy. I

17:23

don't know if that's a title or a

17:25

name. Like, it was

17:27

really hard to get anything

17:29

from them. They kind of

17:31

seem high. These people who

17:33

belong to Buddy, and they're

17:35

also all very thin. Like

17:37

the doctors that checked them out felt that

17:39

they were malnourished. I gave one

17:41

of them a hamburger and he said, oh,

17:43

yeah. Thanks, bro. This looks delish.

17:46

And then he just kind of giggled for a while

17:48

while the food got cold.

17:51

At one point,

17:53

a member of our team reminded him

17:55

to eat the food and he was

17:57

very thankful for the reminder and

17:59

had a french fry then

18:01

went on and on about how great

18:03

it was without eating

18:05

another one. The members of

18:07

this particular group mostly came

18:10

from the closure of the division of

18:12

extra aggression. Which

18:14

Cloaks for ways to make people that much

18:16

more aggressive. It's definitely

18:18

a shift from their personalities four.

18:21

The division of extra

18:23

aggression was only closed down about

18:25

a year ago. So it does

18:27

make us wonder if buddy is a relatively new presence

18:31

or if their people just

18:33

tend to not survive long

18:35

under the influence. For

18:37

obvious reasons, I think we've been looking into

18:39

ways to remove the Matt Moss

18:41

from people, not just to ensure

18:43

the loyalty of our staff, but

18:45

also to maybe save some evil

18:48

lives. We're going to check

18:50

on the ever so slightly purplish

18:52

robes again soon to see if things are still

18:54

not going well for them. We

18:56

may need to intervene. They have to

18:58

be eating something at least some of the

19:00

time where they wouldn't have lasted this

19:03

long. We're just not sure

19:05

what. So

19:08

I should also mention that a different

19:10

group of robed people brought

19:12

me some dead flowers. We didn't see who

19:14

did it. But there have been rumors about

19:17

hooded figures and slightly more

19:19

form fitting cloaks. But

19:21

the cloaks also happen to have cat

19:23

ears at the top. I

19:25

am so excited to learn

19:27

more about them. Clarissa

19:33

and Hedera gave me a half eaten

19:35

jar of peanut butter the other

19:37

day. Clarissa told me if

19:39

I any questions she would scream.

19:41

There's a part of me that thinks the

19:43

oozes must be seeking to curry

19:45

favor with me. But

19:47

I can't imagine why. From

19:50

my understanding of things, they don't seem to

19:52

view me as particularly powerful.

19:56

Or important. It's

19:58

also possible that the ooze is playing

20:00

with me. It's also possible that

20:02

it's just not as smart as we give a credit for

20:05

being, especially these smaller

20:07

segregated pools. We

20:09

always want to imagine other people

20:12

as being smart and in control,

20:14

but oftentimes, the

20:16

world is just dumber than

20:18

that. Maybe the same is true

20:20

for sentient oozes. Today,

20:24

we'd like to spotlight another one of our

20:26

most accomplished employees. That

20:29

employee is Glenda Henkel, Glenda

20:31

works in our division of Quantum

20:34

Surveillance. They tell me she hasn't stopped

20:36

observing for even one fraction of

20:38

a second. In

20:40

ten years, Thank you for your hard

20:42

work, Glenda. The

20:46

division of erotic experiences seems to

20:48

still be struggling with the

20:50

question of What isn't sex? I

20:52

think the trouble they're running into is

20:54

just about anything can be sex if the

20:56

parties involved want it

20:58

to be. If it turns them

21:00

on, then who is to argue?

21:02

But they've been really struggling

21:04

with this, like up all night

21:06

thinking about it. And by them, I mean

21:09

doctor Dunkelhorn and Jasmine Aschna.

21:11

Rather than argue with them or try to

21:13

get them to refocus on other projects

21:15

that actually advance evil in the world I've

21:18

just forbidden them from taking any

21:20

stimulants of any kind. I

21:22

feel like that can be a first step

21:24

in an obsession spiral. Dunk without

21:26

his stems though, he'll

21:28

need to be monitored. I

21:31

should tell you shareholders that while

21:33

this division is certainly a favorite

21:35

of yours. We've been slowly

21:37

reducing their budget and their workforce

21:40

because they just aren't showing us the results we would

21:42

like to see. I think that has

21:44

something to do with why their works have

21:46

been more conceptual as of

21:49

late. That being said, if

21:51

they come to me with a great idea, then I'll give them a budget to do

21:53

something with it. This

21:55

ain't it, though. The

21:59

division of figuring out what all of these keys go to

22:02

opened an escape hatch in the back

22:04

of a monster enclosure. They

22:07

let the monster out.

22:09

They will stop at nothing when it comes

22:11

to discovering the purpose of those keys.

22:15

The Division of Kaiju battle

22:18

reenactment recently enacted Tianakulatorio

22:21

versus squiggly Dubai

22:23

bow. They had approximately

22:25

three people in each costume to manage all

22:27

of the tentacles that were flying

22:30

everywhere. It was chaos.

22:32

If you were in the front row, you

22:34

really had to watch out or you'd get whacked.

22:38

Entertainment at its finest. They

22:42

say that evil once scored ten

22:44

goals despite not playing for a

22:46

team in that match, nor playing

22:48

the correct sport. This is things

22:50

we're taking credit for now. Today,

22:53

we're taking credit for clothing,

22:56

makeup, and the insecurity you

22:58

feel about your appearance are

23:00

what you do. Obviously, we can't know

23:02

for certain that we did these things,

23:05

but we definitely did and it would

23:07

be why for you to agree with

23:09

that before that amplifier in front of you

23:11

starts to feed back.

23:15

Caleb Martin has won today's ruin

23:17

a life drawing. As a

23:19

result, the life of Caleb's nemesis will

23:21

be ruined. That

23:23

nemesis is my Femmet. That's

23:25

an unusual spelling. We

23:27

gave the wheel of misery a

23:29

solid firm spin with eye

23:31

contact and it landed on the

23:34

space for minimalism. We all

23:36

know that minimalism can be a

23:38

great design philosophy. We also

23:40

know that it be an amazing goal to

23:42

declutter one's life. But we all

23:44

know someone who's taking it a bit far, don't

23:47

we? From today forward,

23:49

That friend will be AAA Fomet.

23:51

For evil measure, Caleb

23:53

Martin will be seventeen percent less

23:56

minimalist. Which might lead to some excessive

23:59

clutter. We shall see. Congratulations

24:01

on the win and best of

24:03

luck. The

24:06

damnation and ruination squad,

24:08

the team charged with the task of

24:10

dealing out the life ruining blows

24:12

that of misery dictates are known

24:15

for wearing some outrageous costumes.

24:17

They ran afoul of the wheel of

24:19

misery some years ago over something

24:21

I cannot remember. And as

24:23

a result, they have needed to listen to

24:25

the wheel's whims when it comes to how they

24:27

should dress. We've seen them

24:29

in recycled materials before,

24:32

but it appears that right now, they

24:34

are going about their business just

24:36

covered in any he's. I

24:38

am told that the LEDs are all

24:41

dead. I don't know how I would know that

24:43

just looking at them, but there

24:45

you are. This brings

24:49

us to the end of today's broadcast.

24:52

What's that sound man? Yes.

24:55

I I can see the cat ear hooded

24:57

people are outside. Yes.

25:00

I can see that they have a

25:02

gift. I'm looking at the same monitor you are.

25:04

No, I don't want to talk

25:06

to them. It's going to

25:09

be weird Like

25:11

like really weird. How can

25:13

they not be the weirdest one, the

25:15

sound man? Can you not

25:18

see the cat ears? No.

25:21

I'm not shaming them.

25:23

Look, maybe I am a little. Can

25:25

we just ignore them for now? I'm

25:28

sure it's going to be stupid.

25:30

Anyway, shareholders, you have two

25:33

options. You can either destroy the

25:35

amplifier or give it to a young

25:37

person with strict instructions. That

25:39

they only play heavy metal.

25:43

Only heavy metal. Until

25:46

next time shareholders. Happy

25:48

New Year. And I hope it's a

25:50

perfectly evil one for all of

25:52

us. The numbers are next.

25:55

Ten, 987654323

26:25

Kakos Industries is written and produced

26:27

by Conrad Mishuk, who is also the

26:29

voice of Corin Death and the composer

26:31

of the music. The introductions are

26:34

read by Ryan Jenkins and the credits

26:36

are read by Brianna Kittle, a smack

26:38

to the face you really needed.

26:40

Please visit cakosindustries dot com

26:42

for news, extras, and more episodes.

26:45

There are also transcriptions on

26:47

the website if you'd like to read along with

26:49

the industry's announcements.

26:51

That's KAK0SINDUSTRIES

26:57

dot com. Please visit store

26:59

dot cocosindustries dot com

27:01

for merchandise and special offers

27:04

and get wonderful benefits by becoming a subscription

27:06

donor at cakosindustries dot

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com slash patreon. You can

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submit one time donations

27:12

at paypal dot mecocosindustries. You

27:15

can also purchase gear and other

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items for the production at cakosindustries

27:20

dot com slash wishlist. Join our

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community at cakosindustries dot

27:24

com slash discord. Questions,

27:26

comments, or a strong desire to

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collaborate drop us a line at inquiries at

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cocosindustries dot com.

27:33

If you like cocos industries, be sure to

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rate and review us on your favorite

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connect with us on YouTube, youtube

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Facebook, Facebook dot com slash

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cuckos industries, Tumbler, cuckosindustries

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dot tumbler dot com,

27:51

Instagram, at cuckos industries, TikTok,

27:53

at cuckos industries,

27:56

and Twitter. At industries. We encourage

27:58

fan art and listener participation on

28:00

all our social media platforms.

28:03

Special thanks to our esteemed shareholders,

28:05

Alfredo Raveoli, Jack Attack

28:07

and Deandre. Also thanks

28:09

to honored employees Calico who wrote

28:11

in the back, ROCCAT who

28:14

also wrote in the back, Christina

28:16

Kirkland who also also wrote in

28:18

the back. And Anastasia Kaye

28:20

who told the dirty jokes from the Rowan

28:22

Front. The Division of B and E's

28:24

booties and construction projects that are

28:26

probably too large for yarn

28:28

directed by Theo Cornett has continued

28:30

to knit a sporting arena.

28:32

The cheap bleachers are

28:34

mostly done, now it's time for

28:37

the turf. The division of obscure vintage technology

28:39

directed by Craig Sis has purchased

28:41

an old wood burning kit off of

28:43

the Internet. It is

28:45

known for having started over a

28:47

hundred fires. The division

28:49

of subtle efficiency increases

28:51

directed by Daniel r Smith, has

28:53

taken the person with the weird and

28:55

loud laugh aside and made them

28:57

feel self conscious about it,

28:59

saving the ears of everyone else.

29:01

The division of saying it the long way directed

29:03

by Dino Schroeder has been workshopping.

29:06

I'm only answering questions I

29:08

like right now, but try again

29:10

on two day. The

29:12

division of cafeteria reviews

29:14

directed by Seth and Josh has

29:17

reviewed, Have it kale way

29:19

Everything is kale, it's

29:21

a disaster, four point five

29:24

out of seventeen. The

29:26

division of improbable cookbooks made by

29:28

Hayden NEF has been working on

29:30

meals to eliminate optimism.

29:32

The book includes entries for a

29:34

number of depressing meals to cook for

29:36

yourself in the middle the night. The

29:39

division of more Monday Mondays directed

29:41

by ODi has made Mondays that

29:43

much more Monday by

29:45

announcing the sudden departure of

29:47

a well loved coworker. The division of illness

29:50

introspection directed by Sarah has been

29:52

looking deep into all of their

29:54

own eyes, in the getting

29:56

lost in there. The division

29:58

of new card game mechanics led by

30:00

Finn has developed a card that allows you

30:02

to get the last ten minutes

30:04

of your life back. The division of

30:06

even weirder bugs directed by Franco

30:08

El Terreble has discovered a

30:11

bug that regularly prays

30:13

to a weird bug God.

30:15

The division of animal stacking directed

30:17

by the one true Dave has stacked

30:19

eleven lions. They

30:21

were very well behaved and got some nice

30:23

treats after. The division of

30:25

things with switches that shouldn't have switches

30:27

directed by miss Doctor Indigo Esquire

30:30

the thirteenth has installed

30:32

an overdrive switch on

30:34

a rock. Just kidding.

30:37

Rockier, I guess. The

30:39

division of Finnish Crosswords Direct by

30:41

Caitlyn Moke has gotten really deep on

30:43

the old Agatha Christie lore.

30:45

The division of unwanted board game expansions

30:47

directed by Kevin Rowland has created

30:49

an expansion set that includes

30:52

marbles for some reason. The

30:54

division of post apocalyptic delivery directed by

30:56

cave hill, king kill of the murder valley in

30:58

the mountains, found the coordinates

31:00

on the island. Nothing

31:03

remained, but the package was delivered.

31:06

The division of prospective exoplanet

31:08

tourism directed by Victoria Wood

31:10

has star it working on a pamphlet

31:12

for Citus nine

31:14

seventy seven c. This

31:16

hot giant will melt your heart with

31:18

its breathtaking vistas. And

31:20

average temperature above

31:22

boiling. Our steam shareholders,

31:24

honored employees, division heads, and

31:26

other patreon patrons are

31:28

the best. If you want a thank you in the credits, your

31:30

own division or other great rewards that

31:32

help to keep this show running, please

31:34

head to cakosindustries dot com

31:37

slash Patreon. That's

31:39

Patreon, PATRE0N

31:44

Cocoa Sandostries can be dark. Try

31:46

befriending the local wildlife just

31:48

in case.