0:01

My name is Father Leo Moss. It

0:04

had already been one of the more difficult

0:06

days of my life when the accident

0:09

happened. I was driving

0:11

home at about one in the morning from a bar, a bar

0:13

where I would not have been save for my distress

0:16

over a conversation I'd had six hours

0:19

earlier.

0:20

Bishop Cain had called me over to Rossi

0:22

Street unexpectedly for a talk. She

0:25

courteously and carefully laid

0:27

out my options for transfer

0:29

to a parish in either Missoula

0:32

or Denver. She plied

0:34

me with many compliments and thanks for

0:36

my work in Boise, but she

0:38

explained that the distraction,

0:41

the

0:42

murmur unfortunately caused

0:44

by the investigation into my alleged

0:47

inappropriate financial conduct with

0:49

a member of my congregation had

0:51

been judged great enough by the

0:53

Right Reverend Thomas to warrant

0:55

a sort of

0:56

disinfection of the situation,

0:59

as the bishop put it. I

1:01

believe in you, she said, and shook

1:04

my hand firmly and gave me some

1:06

papers to take home and examine. And

1:08

I thought, with some measure of guilt,

1:11

if you believe in me, then

1:14

the facts should make a

1:16

difference. But the

1:18

facts had not and would

1:20

not make a difference.

1:22

I saw that clearly.

1:24

No one was willing to look deep enough or ask

1:27

questions uncomfortable enough to bring

1:29

to light everything that should have been.

1:32

And so, after signing those papers alone

1:34

in the vicarage,

1:35

I slung off to a bar called Reggie's Roost

1:38

at En Route 21 south of the city,

1:40

and I stewed in my anger.

1:43

Just two beers for me, mind you. I

1:45

sat alone near the empty karaoke

1:47

platform and tried to look at

1:49

it all through the lens of a test.

1:52

Yes, one more test in the life of

1:54

them. And I would pass

1:56

this one the same way I had passed the others. With

1:59

my love of God, I did. God to arm me, that

2:02

love which for me is the single

2:04

truth that can't be corrupted

2:07

by rough seas or

2:09

redefined according to changing times

2:11

and attitudes. Since

2:13

I was an adolescent made almost dizzy

2:16

sometimes by the infinite possibilities

2:18

of that truth,

2:20

I had followed it steadfast. But

2:23

on that one night, I

2:26

allowed myself to simply hate a

2:28

little. To distract myself

2:30

from my situation, I played darts with the

2:33

foreman of a furniture warehouse and I got

2:36

into a discussion about movie musicals with

2:38

two elderly women who marvelled

2:40

that someone so young even knew who

2:42

Jean Kelly was.

2:45

When I left the bar to drive the 16

2:47

miles home, I was sober

2:50

and rational, just a little worried

2:52

about the flurries that were falling.

2:54

It happened near Lucky Peak,

2:57

where 21

2:57

starts to twist and turn

3:00

all the way northeast to Stanley.

3:02

I stopped briefly at one of 21's very

3:04

few blinking red lights and

3:07

took the opportunity to wave the car

3:09

behind me around. It had been tailgating

3:11

me for the past three miles and I was thoroughly

3:15

fed up.

3:16

After a pause, it began to

3:18

maneuver to the left of me.

3:20

Instead of using the shoulder to squeak

3:23

by, the driver used the

3:25

oncoming lane. As

3:27

soon as that car started to pull past me,

3:29

something huge came out of the dark

3:32

into the glare of my headlights.

3:34

I heard it tear the underbrush before I saw

3:36

it, an animal body moving

3:38

at great speed out of the woods to my right.

3:41

Never in my life had a thing that size

3:43

rushed toward me like that. Even

3:46

though I was safe in the car, I cried aloud, twisting

3:48

the wheel to the left and putting enough pressure on the

3:51

gas to lurch forward in

3:53

evasion. The animal was a fully

3:55

mature elk,

3:57

head low,

3:58

in an instant it made a mockery of

3:59

all the tepid two-dimensional videos I'd

4:02

seen of them in the wild, its enormity

4:04

and power driving mute

4:06

terror into me.

4:08

I heard its hooves clack on the pavement

4:10

and saw its eyes glittering in

4:12

the high beams, and then there was a soft

4:14

scraping sound as my car connected

4:17

with the one beside me, which had slammed

4:19

on its brakes and never cleared me. The

4:21

elk grazed its front bumper just enough

4:24

to set the car, a tan Mercedes,

4:27

rocking gently.

4:29

The panicked beast galloped into the woods

4:31

on the other side of the road, plowing into the

4:33

brush. Its antlers must have

4:35

risen four feet off its head,

4:38

one bare instant of its unfiltered

4:41

size and power making a physical

4:43

threat, and then gone.

4:47

I had finally encountered the reality

4:49

of the wild on whose domesticated

4:52

edges I had lived for three years.

4:55

Realizing I had scraped the Mercedes in my

4:57

panic, I couldn't stop myself from releasing

5:00

a burst of profanity. I took a moment

5:02

to collect myself,

5:04

then shut off my engine and stepped

5:06

out into the cold, silent road.

5:09

The other car rested beside and

5:11

just a few feet ahead of mine.

5:13

It bore clear marks on the passenger

5:16

side door where I dinged it, meaning

5:18

an inevitable and expensive repair

5:20

job. The driver already

5:22

had his window rolled down.

5:24

It was a man in his late thirties, maybe

5:27

dark red hair,

5:28

clean shaven and professional looking.

5:31

He didn't move as I approached him. I

5:34

asked him if he was alright and he gave

5:36

me only a distracted half nod.

5:39

I craned my head to check out his front bumper,

5:42

which seemed unmarked and secure.

5:45

When I gave him this piece of silver lining,

5:48

I again received only the slightest positive

5:51

acknowledgement. He looked like a man

5:54

trying to work through a complex geometry

5:56

problem in his head, refusing to let me

5:58

or any

5:59

else distract him. I

6:02

told him I suppose we should exchange insurance information

6:05

and turned to head back to my

6:07

car to get it. The quicker the better, though

6:09

the flurries had stopped, I was getting

6:12

uncomfortably cold. In

6:14

response to my statement, he finally

6:17

turned his head to me and made apathetic

6:20

eye contact. Though

6:22

he was well-dressed in a casual

6:24

way, he looked pallid and

6:26

weary. I have no interest

6:29

in that, he told me quietly.

6:32

I had to have him repeat that

6:34

odd sentence. So he

6:36

did with the exact same tone

6:39

and inflection. A lifeless

6:41

carbon copy. I

6:43

said I believed it was the law, but

6:46

this seemed to go right through him.

6:48

His eyes drifted to my clerical

6:50

collar. I was still wearing it under my

6:52

old jacket with the Nashoda House Seminary

6:54

logo on it.

6:56

He asked me if I was a priest,

6:59

but then had no verbal follow-up

7:01

to my affirmative reply. Nothing,

7:04

only silence.

7:06

Finally, he opened the driver's side

7:08

door and stepped out onto the road.

7:11

He didn't immediately examine the damage to

7:13

his car as I expected, though. Didn't

7:16

look at it at all, in fact.

7:19

Instead, he first took in the

7:21

horizon over the mountains,

7:23

walking a little ways toward them,

7:26

and then he stared down at the road

7:29

mournfully.

7:30

The blinking red light over our heads could

7:33

be heard clicking when it went on and

7:35

off every few seconds. There

7:37

was not even a proper intersection, only a

7:39

place where vehicles could turn left

7:41

toward an industrial access path

7:44

whose gate was now locked tight.

7:47

At this hour, the enforced

7:49

stop seemed infuriatingly

7:51

without purpose, except maybe to calm

7:54

speeders on this long stretch that

7:56

invited raucous driving.

7:59

My man asked me where we were, and

8:02

I told him. It

8:05

came to me for the first time that he might be

8:07

drunk, but his steps were

8:09

perfectly steady on the pavement. His

8:12

Mercedes had Wyoming plates.

8:15

Rather than pursue his history,

8:17

I merely suggested we could be on our way and

8:20

out of the cold if we just swapped

8:22

our info now.

8:24

He asked me, why

8:26

did you feel the need to turn

8:28

the wheel and lurch

8:30

like that? I

8:33

was taken aback.

8:35

I told him it was just instinct.

8:38

You thought you could create

8:40

that much space, he said.

8:43

Not angrily, no, but I

8:45

saw a disturbing amount of hostility

8:47

in his expression.

8:49

This was a man interested in picking a fight.

8:52

So I softened my own

8:54

tone even more, offering

8:57

that yes, I guessed there wasn't much point

9:00

in hindsight,

9:02

but this would not suffice for him.

9:04

I'm not hearing an apology,

9:07

he said. The left half of his

9:09

face became bathed in red

9:11

light under that alternating electric current,

9:14

and it went dark again

9:16

over and over. This was

9:18

it, I realized. This was road rage.

9:21

The quiet kind, maybe, but

9:24

still worrisome. Chilling.

9:27

This was encountering the wrong

9:29

man at the wrong time. I

9:31

stammered something about how

9:33

the elk had come out of nowhere. I hadn't had time

9:35

to process.

9:36

It looked enormous. I did

9:38

what had simply come to me.

9:41

Even in the middle of these feeble sentences,

9:43

I felt my own mood turning

9:46

darker. I was getting angry at this

9:48

provocation. So

9:51

in your mind, said the

9:53

man, squeezing his eyes shut as

9:55

if my ineptitude was giving him a headache,

9:59

you...

10:00

did nothing wrong. A

10:03

pickup truck approached our spot from

10:05

the direction we'd both come, moving at a

10:08

troublingly high speed and just barely

10:10

slowing. It blew right through

10:12

the light and kept going.

10:15

Maybe we didn't look terribly distressed,

10:17

this man and I, almost like two

10:19

guys conferring about directions. Still,

10:22

the callousness of the person in

10:24

that truck was distressing. It sped

10:27

away without a care.

10:30

I made my final plea to the

10:32

man that this was all a matter

10:34

for the insurance people to suss out, hoping

10:37

he would finally let me go.

10:40

He asked me again if I was a priest

10:42

and where.

10:44

I told him. Again,

10:46

he seemed not to know

10:48

just what to do with this information.

10:51

He mused upon it.

10:53

He'd been getting steadily closer.

10:57

Then he caused me a panicked moment when he took a long,

11:00

sudden step towards me. But

11:02

he was only trying to get past me to finally

11:05

examine the accident damage. He

11:07

crouched before the door.

11:09

There was a single long smear

11:12

of maroon paint from my Camry

11:14

below his door handle.

11:17

He laid at the tip of his index finger with

11:19

strange gentleness on

11:21

the smear, tracing its

11:24

entire length.

11:26

I was doing my best to collect myself

11:29

and remind myself of who I had

11:31

always tried to be. I

11:33

asked him where he was going.

11:35

He emerged from his reverie and straightened

11:38

again.

11:39

Just away, he said. My

11:42

wife has changed. She

11:45

needs help, but nothing

11:48

works. My

11:51

wife has changed. Not my

11:53

wife is sick or my wife left me.

11:55

He could have meant anything. Shivering

11:57

alone. little

12:00

I made what I thought was a delicate and tactful

12:03

inquiry as to the nature of

12:05

the help he was looking for, but

12:07

he cut me off mid-sentence. "'Doesn't

12:09

this just sum it

12:11

up?'

12:12

he said. Not even a priest

12:15

will listen to facts." As

12:18

I stared at him, mute with

12:20

confusion, he added that this seemed

12:23

like the perfect night for our

12:25

paths to cross, because now, with

12:27

just a few sentences between us,

12:30

he could cross everyone

12:32

off the list. Absolutely

12:35

everyone.

12:37

Whatever positive will I had been trying to

12:40

summon was leaving me.

12:41

I couldn't help it. I was getting genuinely

12:43

mad. I inquired

12:46

reluctantly as to what facts he was talking

12:49

about.

12:49

He explained to me, with the tone of someone

12:51

speaking to a child, that the insurance

12:54

company was definitely going to side with me,

12:56

because he had moved into the oncoming lane,

12:59

even though I had waved him around.

13:01

That was the incontrovertible truth

13:04

as they would see it. "'I

13:06

waved you around,' I said, because

13:09

you were tailgating me.' "'So

13:12

in your version,' he

13:14

replied, "'I intimidated

13:17

you. Is that right? I

13:19

put myself in that place.' He

13:22

was moving closer to me again.

13:24

It was about that moment when I stopped

13:26

being Father Leo, and it was

13:28

nothing more than Leo Moss, who

13:30

had once been suspended from high school for

13:33

coming up behind my 11th grade bully

13:35

and knocking him to the floor of the hallway outside

13:38

the library with one hard punch

13:40

to the spine.

13:42

I began to explain to

13:44

this man that if he had followed at

13:46

the right distance what the guidelines

13:49

generally were, I

13:51

would not have waved him around. Besides,

13:53

he should have used the shoulder anyway for safety,

13:55

because, as he seemed to agree,

13:57

the road bent and the curve ahead

13:59

was over." Almost blind.

14:01

He took real exception to this last bit, noting

14:03

how unusually bright the sky

14:06

was that night, with visibility ahead

14:08

actually being quite good considering the hour.

14:10

Quite good. Of course, headlights actually made

14:12

that a moot point, but still, he wanted to challenge

14:15

my loose choice of words. Blind

14:18

curve. Blind curve.

14:20

Another example of me not

14:23

dealing

14:24

in fact. The fact

14:26

is, he said. Your

14:29

turn, your little gambit, was

14:32

random and unwarranted.

14:36

He was just three feet away from me now, one

14:38

hand pressed to the hood of his car.

14:41

Though I found myself wanting to

14:43

win this somehow, wanting to cut

14:46

him with just the right word or a bit of

14:48

infallible logic, I

14:49

backed down.

14:51

You need to learn to control your impulses.

14:54

Mr. Andawal had lectured me after

14:56

my suspension, and I have never forgotten

14:58

either the cruelty or the essential

15:01

wisdom

15:02

of that phrase. I

15:04

pulled my wallet out, and from it I took, with

15:06

a shaky hand, one of my contact

15:08

cards.

15:09

I took my own step forward and

15:11

pressed it firmly on the hood of the Mercedes

15:14

and backed away, pronouncing the argument

15:16

pointless because of the existence of accident

15:19

reports.

15:20

He was welcome to claim whatever he liked.

15:23

If he wasn't quick in picking that card

15:25

up, the breeze was going to blow it away.

15:27

But he didn't. He barely

15:30

glanced at it, and sure enough, it

15:33

tumbled onto the road.

15:35

The man reiterated to me that he was

15:37

done with all of this, though what

15:40

this meant remained unclear.

15:43

This was the end of the road for him.

15:46

There was a hollowness and stoniness

15:49

to the statement that frightened me. He

15:52

told me that when he had seen my color,

15:54

he'd thought, maybe, just maybe,

15:57

it was a sign. He wasn't looking for

15:59

it. for salvation or anything. He only

16:02

thought I might listen

16:04

to the facts that others had

16:06

dismissed.

16:08

But he said he was clearly wrong. That

16:10

was when things turned just a little again.

16:14

11 years in the priesthood had begun to educate

16:16

me about what someone sounded like when they were

16:18

clinging to their very last thread.

16:20

Most people don't know how to honestly express

16:23

that so it gets cloaked in hostility, accusations,

16:26

circular reasoning.

16:27

I asked him to please tell me what it

16:29

was that was disturbing him, what it was exactly

16:32

that was troubling him. What about his wife?

16:34

And I know I suddenly sounded like some movie priest,

16:37

but it was what it was. We

16:39

both heard a low muffled

16:41

scraping sound from nearby,

16:44

quite close, very quick.

16:47

The man turned his head idly

16:49

toward it.

16:50

Its origin wasn't clear.

16:52

It could have been some unseen small

16:55

animal crossing paths with stray

16:57

broken glass on the pavement or even

16:59

a mechanical component settling

17:01

awkwardly inside the man's engine or mine because

17:04

of the cold.

17:06

My contact card skittered a little further

17:08

away on the pavement, flopping the face

17:10

down.

17:11

By morning, it too would be

17:13

deep in the woods. 13 months

17:17

now of doctors and lunatics

17:19

on the internet, said the man. He

17:22

informed me he'd bought a gun

17:25

the week before and it

17:27

held it dozens of times at home before

17:29

finally getting in the car and starting

17:31

to just drive for days

17:34

in an attempt to escape its possibilities.

17:38

But you know, he said with a weird

17:40

pained smile,

17:42

my anger seems to be going

17:45

more outward now. To

17:48

demonstrate, he thrusts his arms out

17:50

in my direction and one clean snap

17:53

is pushing something away

17:55

and he laughed at this odd image he'd

17:57

created.

17:58

The most cynical laugh

17:59

one can imagine.

18:01

I made one last attempt to get

18:04

him to back up

18:05

and explain it all to me so it made sense. But

18:08

he would not let go of the belief that it was

18:10

me who was keeping us from dealing

18:12

in facts. The truth

18:15

is, he said, this was

18:17

your fault. Tell

18:19

me it was your fault. Tell me that

18:21

so I know it's in your heart and

18:23

then I can talk to you.

18:26

Something bad was going to happen physically,

18:28

I thought. If I didn't fold with some very

18:31

convincing play acting right then, a physical

18:34

altercation was ground. I was terrified to draw

18:36

it.

18:36

So I did fold, acknowledging with a slight

18:39

stammer that maybe he was right. I

18:41

wasn't that great a driver. I didn't have much

18:43

experience with sudden events on the road.

18:46

He knew how it was, right? You developed

18:48

this muscle memory.

18:50

No, no, he interrupted.

18:53

That gets us farther away. I've been

18:55

placated until my head explodes.

18:57

It's got to come from your heart. Don't

19:00

you understand?

19:02

His eyes were

19:04

getting wide. He wasn't drunk.

19:06

He was, I believe, going mad.

19:08

Whatever it was, I thought it was something outside

19:10

of himself, some unstoppable

19:13

force bringing him fear and stress

19:15

and locked doors with no way out. But

19:18

I had to self preserve that above all things.

19:21

I'd come close to being a victim to madness once

19:23

before. Almost every priest or counselor

19:26

or first responder has had that very

19:28

rare brush.

19:29

I'd been told by an elder that the sad

19:32

but critical strategy was to say anything

19:34

that would maneuver you past it to safety.

19:37

I apologized gently in a softer

19:39

voice for whatever he was going through.

19:42

And for any way I might've made it worse.

19:45

I gave him my full name and again the name

19:47

of the parish and told him I could be contacted

19:49

there, either about the accident or

19:52

anything else. I backed

19:54

away a little faster than was polite and

19:56

went around my chorus front end with the door, breathing

19:59

hard. I opened it and got

20:01

in, hoping the abrupt finality

20:03

of my movement would leave him with no way to

20:05

extend the scene.

20:07

And it seemed like it had worked.

20:08

He moved toward his door too. Opened

20:11

it. Got

20:13

in. He stared through his windshield blankly as

20:15

I started my engine.

20:17

This seemed to cue him to start his

20:19

too. We were moving on.

20:21

It was over. Let it get ugly

20:24

later from a distance. That was just fine.

20:26

There would be plenty of room and time

20:28

to chastise myself for my

20:31

weakness, my heartlessness

20:34

later at home.

20:36

Now though, just as I was twisting

20:38

the wheel away from his car and putting

20:40

mine into drive, he hit a button and his

20:42

passenger side window was rolling down. He

20:46

tilted his chin upward in a gesture suggesting

20:48

he had something more for me to hear.

20:51

God help me.

20:52

I rolled my window down in response, feeling

20:55

overly safe,

20:56

one foot hesitating on the brake, knowing

20:59

I could be out of there in a heartbeat if need be. Tell

21:03

me one thing, he called to me across

21:05

the narrow distance between our cars.

21:08

What is your

21:09

definition of

21:11

tailgating? I

21:14

said, what? He

21:16

lifted a hand to the ceiling of the car and cued

21:18

his dome light. A weak

21:21

white glow fell upon his haggard

21:23

face. Let's see if we

21:25

can agree on this one thing,

21:28

he said. But no,

21:30

I told him we had talked this out long enough.

21:33

Define it, he said insistently

21:36

and added that if we could achieve this one

21:39

common point of fact, he

21:42

would tell me everything. And

21:45

whether what overcame me was the

21:48

residual anger over my unjust

21:50

transfer out of my parish, or

21:52

simply the sense that he had tricked

21:54

me, and had never intended

21:56

to quite let me go, I

21:59

almost opened my eyes. openly sneered

22:01

at this poor man, fueled by

22:04

an immature need to take a controlled

22:06

but icy parting shot. "'You

22:09

were following close enough to make

22:11

me uncomfortable,' I

22:13

said. It was dangerous.

22:16

"'You

22:17

didn't think it was dangerous,' he replied

22:19

quickly.

22:20

"'That's what everyone claims. You were just

22:22

irritated. Admit it.' I

22:25

said nothing.

22:27

I have no

22:29

common point with anyone

22:31

anymore,' he told me finally. And

22:34

then he smiled once again. "'See

22:37

how you like this, you liar,' he said,

22:40

and his left hand, which had dropped from the dome

22:42

light out of sight on his left side, emerged

22:45

again as I heard the sound of his trunk unlatching

22:47

and popping open.

22:49

It lifted smoothly on its hinges, with

22:51

a kind of neat engineering efficiency

22:54

I'd never be able to afford.

22:56

I craned my head to look, alarmed. Something

23:00

large began to crawl out of the trunk,

23:02

some bulky, dark mass

23:04

eager to emerge.

23:06

As it did so, the man stepped hard on the gas,

23:09

and the Mercedes leapt forward, causing

23:11

the living cargo to tumble

23:13

out all at once onto the road.

23:15

The tires left long streaks in

23:17

the pavement as the car revved away, headlights

23:20

remaining off.

23:22

The red glare of the taillights lit

23:24

the thing on the pavement only for an instant. I

23:27

saw a dark body with long,

23:29

hairy arms and short legs

23:32

and a head much too large for its shoulders.

23:35

It pushed itself up from its awkward landing

23:37

and tried to stand fully erect, but

23:40

the construction of its body was

23:42

so crude and disjointed

23:45

that it could achieve only a hunched,

23:47

precarious balance.

23:49

It came right for me in frantic pursuit,

23:52

half hopping, half shambling

23:55

toward my window. I hit the gas

23:57

pedal, but my wheel remained turned dramatically

23:59

to the road. and my car sprang almost

24:02

directly at the shoulder.

24:04

I hit the brakes before I lost control entirely,

24:06

and then the shambling thing was on me.

24:09

It slammed into the side of the car clumsily

24:11

and its head protruded through the

24:13

window, which had remained rolled up only halfway

24:16

after my final exchange with the

24:18

disturbed stranger.

24:19

A dripping canine mouth

24:22

spewing hot breath was opening and closing

24:24

like a machine inches away from my face.

24:27

I felt a wet, furry snout

24:30

brush my cheek and angry snarls

24:32

washed over me. The creature was furious

24:34

to be thwarted by the pane of glass keeping

24:36

it from full entry.

24:38

Two big, misshapen eyes

24:40

showed nothing but white,

24:42

like protruding bulbs of garlic.

24:45

It was the arms that destroyed any

24:48

notion that this was fully a wolf

24:50

indigenous to the area. They were long

24:52

and angular, and one

24:55

bloated paw was able to grasp the

24:57

base of the wipers as I hit the gas again

24:59

to try to shake the beast off. The long,

25:02

hairy fingers protruding from the other paw

25:04

clamped over my window glass. The

25:07

head shook back and forth crazily

25:09

as it fought for every inch of penetration

25:12

into the vehicle.

25:13

I had to beat the animal off with both hands to

25:15

survive the attack, desperately grabbing

25:17

at the wheel only in strobe bursts

25:20

of attempted control. The car

25:22

wove almost randomly.

25:24

Contrary to what seemed possible, the animal

25:26

was managing to push itself further in,

25:29

its stumpy legs only touching the

25:31

pavement when it was possible to gain leverage.

25:33

Its jaws snapped, missing

25:36

my throat by an inch, and I

25:38

slammed hard on the brakes one last time

25:40

before we drove off the road into the trees. I

25:43

ducked while thrusting my left hand outwards

25:45

until my attacker snapped twice, but

25:48

I was only risking the loss of my fingers.

25:50

In the scuffle, my entire hand arced

25:53

directly through that canine mouth

25:55

and came out slick.

25:57

I lunged for the passenger side door, grabbing

25:59

the-

25:59

handle with my right hand and hauling myself

26:02

toward it. The car was drifting ever

26:04

forward so the beast had to struggle

26:06

with its balance, barely keeping it from

26:08

full propulsion into the car.

26:11

I scrambled into a prone position on my back

26:13

and kicked at it. Its shoulders were

26:15

fully inside now. The animal's head

26:18

ripped the fabric on the underside of the roof

26:20

as it came.

26:21

Its teeth got hold of one of my shoes

26:23

and it yanked its head left and right in a blunder

26:26

blur of motion. Its dumb white

26:29

eyes gazing it.

26:31

I pulled my foot back hard and lost

26:33

the shoe to its mad thrashings. It

26:35

struck the steering wheel and fell out of sight. I

26:38

realized as I got the door open that my attacker

26:40

had become wedged hard in the window

26:42

gap, so eager to rip me apart

26:45

that it had lost its sense of space entirely

26:47

and could manage neither to get any further into the

26:49

car or pull itself out.

26:51

That was what saved me.

26:53

I pushed myself out the door and went shoulder-first

26:56

onto the road. The car slowly moving

26:58

on.

26:59

Its collision course with the trees was inevitable,

27:01

though it was going to happen in slow motion.

27:04

I saw the beast's body hanging

27:06

out the window, temporarily stuck.

27:09

The legs were so underdeveloped compared

27:11

to those deviant arms that the

27:14

awkward locomotion I'd seen it struggle

27:16

with made perfect sense.

27:18

I heard it panting and start to emit uncanny

27:22

shrieks as it panicked against its self-made

27:25

trap.

27:26

I shrugged off the stab of pain

27:28

in my shoulder where I'd connected with the pavement,

27:31

got to my feet, and started running for

27:33

the opposite side of the road.

27:35

I only heard the thump as the

27:37

Camry made rough contact with the shallow

27:39

ditch and continued just a few yards

27:41

till it hit a thin tree.

27:44

Just beyond the strip of wild grass

27:46

that lined Route 21 on my right, the

27:48

woods began and I plunged

27:50

into them, instinctively going towards concealment

27:53

rather than taking my chances on the open road. Or

27:56

even if someone came along quickly, the sight of

27:58

a running man waving for help might just

27:59

just as well send them past me faster. I'd

28:02

been dimly aware that the land sloped

28:04

downward from the highway, and somehow

28:07

this made me think I could move fast.

28:09

The bareness of the trees and the

28:11

unexpected brightness of the sky

28:13

gave me good visibility as I ran, weaving,

28:17

leaves crunching below me.

28:19

Just half a minute in, already

28:21

winded, I found that the slope was

28:23

more pronounced than I had thought, and I began

28:25

to feel the weight of my body creating a dangerous

28:28

momentum, a panic obliterating

28:30

the good sense to slow down.

28:32

The terrain kept arcing more and

28:34

more dramatically.

28:36

I reached out with my right arm to begin to use

28:38

fleeting touches of the skinny trees all around

28:40

me to regain some control,

28:43

but then I heard a volley of barking

28:46

rise far behind me.

28:48

The beast was coming.

28:50

The trees broke cleanly up ahead of

28:52

me, but finally the slope won.

28:55

All it took was hitting a patch where the leaves had

28:57

bunched up enough to deny me any traction

29:00

at all.

29:01

Having become too top-heavy, I

29:03

felt myself start to tumble sideways,

29:05

and I went down on my ribs on

29:08

the left side.

29:09

A great gout of dry air erupted

29:11

from my chest as I was thrown into an uncontrolled

29:14

roll that mercifully steered clear

29:16

of the remaining trees.

29:18

I saw a dark kaleidoscope

29:20

of fractured images of my surroundings, swirls

29:23

of dark wood and sky with the silvery

29:26

coin of the moon ricocheting through them.

29:29

Then, as if God himself had dragged

29:32

me upward by the back of the neck, my

29:34

momentum pushed me uncertainly back onto

29:36

my feet and still facing forward.

29:39

In the front of me was an open field

29:42

that briefly cleaved the forest in two.

29:45

My ribs throbbing and my lungs

29:47

burning, I ran. The wolf,

29:50

no closer, no farther away, began

29:53

to bellow unceasingly. As

29:56

it did so, other sounds rose. There

29:59

was the scattering of leaves, the snapping

30:01

of branches, and a heavy thumping

30:04

on the ground that began to flew towards

30:07

me like an invisible river,

30:09

something that could not be outrun.

30:12

The first of the elk rushed

30:15

past me on my left, a thousand

30:17

pounds of imposing muscle and full

30:19

stride, fleeing an unseen

30:22

pursuer.

30:23

I never even saw the second one of the group until

30:25

its antlers struck my left hand

30:27

as it passed me, breaking bone.

30:30

I screamed and, utterly spent,

30:33

I could only shamble along at

30:35

jogging speed, gripping my agonized

30:37

wrist, waiting to be struck a final

30:39

time. One elk hooked sharply

30:42

to the right to get out of my way before it would have crushed

30:44

me, grunting wetly.

30:46

It barely grazed my side, but its bulk

30:48

was enough to make me stumble and collapse into the

30:51

dead grass.

30:52

Convinced by the noise of the hooves

30:54

all around me that the stampede was

30:56

going to kill me if I didn't keep moving, I

30:59

rolled and tried to make it back onto

31:01

my feet.

31:02

An elk went right over me then, leaping

31:05

cleanly before I could fully rise. It

31:07

landed awkwardly, its legs

31:10

buckling, but then regained its speed. I'd

31:13

become nothing more than a stumbling, comical

31:16

ragdoll when the one behind

31:18

it grazed my right leg and I fell

31:20

to the ground one more time. There

31:23

was a yelping sound from the treeline

31:25

I had emerged from. I finally

31:27

looked back as the last of the elk

31:30

galloped past me. One of them,

31:32

too slow in escaping the woods,

31:35

was collapsing in a dusty cloud

31:37

fifty yards behind. The wolf

31:39

thing was taking it down. Its

31:42

ropey arms were wrapped around its

31:44

neck and it seemed to be burrowing its head

31:46

into its prey. I remained

31:49

on my knees, shivering with pain, watching

31:51

the end of the attack, trying to regain

31:53

whatever breath I could. As soon

31:55

as the elk no longer presented a threat, incapacitated

31:59

but still alive. alive, the wolf let

32:01

it go, and looked towards

32:04

me across the field. It

32:06

rose and continued to chase

32:08

its original target. Before

32:11

I turned to run, I saw how it struggled

32:14

so to achieve a fluid motion, as

32:16

if unable to make sense of its own skeleton.

32:19

It looked like a stop-motion monster

32:22

in a crudely made B-movie. All

32:24

it could really do effectively was snarl

32:26

and grab and bite, and

32:28

it was clear that I could run as

32:30

fast as it could if my lungs would support

32:33

me. But I swear, I swear

32:35

that its legs had somehow

32:37

grown longer than when I first

32:40

saw them. The elk

32:42

had scattered in all directions across the field. Past

32:45

it, another vast patch of trees began.

32:48

Sharp stitches dug into my side

32:50

to go with the throbbing in my left hand, which

32:53

I held up before me as I ran into this new

32:55

darkness. I could hear myself breathing like

32:57

a sputtering boat engine about to give

32:59

out.

33:00

I blundered past great fallen

33:02

timber struck down by wind

33:05

or lightning, felt my forehead

33:07

torn by a low-hanging branch I never

33:09

saw coming,

33:10

splashed through a puddle of cold-standing

33:13

water whose breadth I

33:15

woefully misjudged, soaking

33:17

my shoeless right foot. I

33:20

had only half as much stamina as

33:22

before my first fall. Yet

33:24

when I chanced to look behind me, I sensed

33:27

that I had put a considerable

33:29

distance between myself and the wolf.

33:31

And then, deliverance.

33:34

The woods broke a final time into

33:36

a terrain that stunned me with its abrupt

33:39

familiarity. I was on

33:41

another road, but this one represented

33:44

the outer edge of a quiet rural

33:47

neighborhood. It was barely

33:49

a hundred-yard run to three small

33:52

working-class houses nestled

33:54

in the trees.

33:55

Old, repair-starved things lining

33:58

a lifeless street that had been repaved

34:00

in a long time.

34:02

The weight of many snows had turned

34:04

it into a ragged derelict.

34:07

An old man was walking from

34:09

an ancient stretch Cadillac

34:11

parked on stones toward his front door, holding

34:14

a cheap plastic convenience store

34:16

grocery bag. I ran towards

34:18

him,

34:19

holding my right hand high, trying

34:21

to keep calm and not terrify him.

34:24

I believe I botched my approach and

34:26

first contact considerably, unable

34:29

to stop myself when I finally reached him from

34:31

immediately emphasizing the size

34:34

of the wolf that was pursuing me and

34:36

even

34:37

clumsily describing aspects of its

34:39

troubling anatomy.

34:41

The man was likely in his 80s,

34:45

visibly frail.

34:47

He responded just as I'd hoped with an urging

34:49

to follow him into the house where

34:51

we'd look out and see what we could see.

34:54

My eyes didn't leave the murky

34:56

tree line beyond the road as we moved with

34:59

more slowness than I thought I could bear.

35:01

Only when the old man got out his keys and put

35:03

them into the lock that I feel I was somewhat

35:06

out of danger.

35:07

The closing of the door behind us brought

35:10

such an oppressive blanket

35:12

of warmth that I briefly

35:14

saw spots in front of my eyes. His

35:17

little living room was tidy and tastefully

35:20

lit,

35:21

bookcases took up two whole walls, and

35:23

original framed art seemed to fill up all the other

35:25

available display space. He

35:28

set his bag down in his tiny

35:30

bachelor's kitchen and urged me to continue

35:32

to talk to tell him everything.

35:35

I only skimmed my encounter with a stranger

35:38

and spoke in a rush of being

35:40

pinned down in my car by a creature

35:42

that was unlike anything I'd ever seen.

35:46

He was horrified by my escape

35:48

across the field and the injury to my hand. I

35:51

was lucky to find this man. He continued

35:54

to respond kindly and helpfully

35:56

and courteously, offering me a wet

35:59

rag

35:59

the blood of my forehead.

36:01

As I called the police on his cell

36:04

phone, he looked out the kitchen window, watching

36:06

the night attentively, distracted

36:09

only for a moment when he got me a bottle of water out

36:11

of his refrigerator.

36:13

After I delivered another wild

36:15

monologue into the phone, helpless

36:18

to curb my trauma,

36:21

the police dispatcher asked if I needed an ambulance.

36:24

Looking down at my left hand, I judged

36:27

overconfidently that the swelling and the worst

36:29

of the pain had stopped,

36:31

and it could wait until I went to the hospital under

36:33

my own power. I wanted more than anything

36:35

to get back to my car somehow.

36:38

The old man urged me to sit in his most

36:40

comfortable chair in the living room until the police

36:43

arrived,

36:44

and to take off my soaked sock. I

36:47

waved away an offer to wrap my hand in a towel.

36:50

I thanked him profusely,

36:52

starting to become ashamed I had broken down

36:54

so, was so utterly like

36:56

an eight-year-old spilling out a story well

36:58

shy of coherence.

37:00

He had read a lot of things in his time,

37:03

he told me,

37:04

and he had learned there were truly strange

37:06

things in the world.

37:08

He did like to read.

37:10

He asked me to describe the wolf in ever

37:12

more detail, clearly fascinated,

37:16

and I tried my best. We

37:18

both got up to venture out onto the front

37:20

step,

37:21

me hanging back cautiously in the

37:23

doorway. I wouldn't let the man go more

37:25

than three long paces outside.

37:28

He would have been utterly unable to defend

37:30

himself.

37:32

Still, there was no sign

37:34

of the beast out there in the dark.

37:37

The only sound was the wind, sifting

37:39

gently through the trees

37:41

and blowing dead leaves across the road. He

37:45

told me he saw elk walking through the neighborhood all

37:47

the time. One stuck

37:49

its snout right in his mailbox

37:51

to get it some cookies once.

37:54

We went back inside

37:55

to our chairs, safe and warm

37:58

behind the latching of the door.

38:01

The man leaned forward to poke at the

38:03

glowing cinders in his fireplace, and

38:05

I found myself entranced by

38:07

them.

38:09

The hint of glowing warmth from

38:11

the hearth felt so good on my

38:13

bare right foot. "'Did

38:16

you notice that moon tonight?' he

38:18

asked me. "'A doozy!'

38:21

I said that I had only been grateful it was so bright

38:24

tonight,

38:25

otherwise I might have become deeply confused in

38:27

the woods and in the field, and never

38:29

made it out."

38:31

He fiddled with the iron poker, looking

38:34

contemplatively past me out of the

38:37

living room window.

38:39

"'Funny how the full moon became

38:42

a scary thing because of the movies,' he

38:44

said, and I agreed.

38:46

But he thought there was more to

38:48

it.

38:49

"'We like to think of the moon when it's simple

38:52

and bright and lovely,'

38:54

he reflected.

38:56

It's a pleasant artistic

38:59

abstraction. But

39:02

the fact is, when

39:05

it's full like that, you

39:08

start to see all those rough contours,

39:11

and it looks a little like a skull. You

39:15

feel the cold, bleak

39:17

reality of a

39:19

desolate mass in space.

39:22

That's why I think the full moon became a

39:24

little frightening. I

39:27

don't know if I see it that

39:29

way,' I said. It

39:32

had been almost fifteen minutes

39:35

since my phone called to the police. I

39:37

wondered aloud what was taking

39:39

so long.

39:41

The old man said gently that he wasn't

39:43

sure what I had told them had come out

39:46

in a way they'd respond to quickly.

39:49

He had it it wasn't my fault. I was still

39:52

likely in shock and not quite able

39:54

to communicate how I normally would.

39:57

I'd maybe used a

39:59

few."

39:59

extreme adjectives that might

40:02

give them pause.

40:03

They may have thought they were dealing with someone

40:06

with a tall imagination

40:08

and would until they discovered my car and maybe

40:11

tangible traces of the wolf.

40:13

Not that the police weren't coming.

40:16

He was sure they were.

40:18

Just maybe not at top

40:20

speed. He

40:23

was right. It was starting to

40:25

sink in that the jumble of

40:28

words and images I'd given them

40:30

over the phone was likely more chaotic,

40:33

more sensational than

40:35

I'd even first thought.

40:37

But that's their job, I

40:40

said to my host. To trust

40:43

what we say, right? I

40:47

don't know if they see it that

40:49

way,

40:50

he said, with a sad smile.

40:54

We kept talking by the hearth

40:58

about the deep woods and

41:00

creatures that eluded understanding.

41:03

And at precisely 1.45 we heard the crash outside way

41:06

down the road. When

41:11

we hurried out into the front yard, we

41:13

saw sporadic, silent

41:16

snaps of electric blue light

41:18

against the treeline. There,

41:22

unprepared people who hadn't listened

41:24

properly to facts had

41:27

met with a force totally indifferent

41:29

to them. A once complex

41:32

soul whose awful new

41:34

existence held only considerations

41:37

of hunger, pursuit,

41:40

and violence.

41:43

But my new friend and I, we, we

41:45

were ready. Thank

41:51

you.