Episode Transcript
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White Castle. Follow your crave. On
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Wizard and the Bruiser, we find
1:05
all those crazy little moments in
1:07
geek history that make the things
1:09
we love into inescapable cultural behemoths. If
1:11
you love video games, movies, comics, and
1:13
anime, this is the LPN show
1:15
for you. But wait, Holden, it's not
1:18
just educational. Shouldn't we talk about all
1:20
those crazy boner jokes we make
1:22
all the time? No, Jake! No,
1:25
we will not! Fair enough! Last
1:27
podcast network presents Wizard and the Bruiser.
1:30
Find it on your favorite podcast app
1:32
and hit that little subby-dubby button. Ooh,
1:35
we would love it if you did that. Oh, that would
1:37
help us out so much. God, wouldn't you love to do
1:39
that? Don't I sound like the kind of person you want
1:41
to help? Like, hit the button. Like, just do it. There's
1:45
no place to escape to. This is
1:47
the last podcast on the left. Side
1:50
stories? Yes, but
1:52
you're blazed. That's when the cannibalism started. Side
1:56
stories. Yes. So
2:04
I pitch a lot of ideas to
2:06
Natalie and obviously
2:08
she's kind of the litmus test of
2:11
like how I feel like
2:13
society will react. Yeah. Because
2:15
she has a conscience. Yes. Yeah,
2:17
I know. It's good. I
2:19
do the same thing with Julie. She's my
2:21
feelings. It's nice because like they're like genuine,
2:23
wonderful women with consciences and
2:26
we destroy them with horrible ideas.
2:28
No, it's just nice because then we don't
2:30
have to have those feelings. Yeah. I
2:32
can just say to them. Yeah, my wife does that.
2:34
That's the idea. That's what they do. Yeah, my wife
2:37
fights for good causes. Yes, they should. Yeah. And
2:39
we should be at war. We
2:42
should be in Iran right now fighting
2:44
though. Which ones? Them.
2:47
Yeah. We should be doing something. I'm sure.
2:50
But I was coming up with some ideas. Right? Again,
2:52
because host spice is taking off. Yeah.
2:55
I'm already seeing a lot of people. I
2:57
think one message about host spice is that
2:59
one kind of issue is that there is
3:01
a lot of old men grabbing that butts
3:04
in hospices. Yeah. Like
3:06
already. Oh, for sure. Yeah, that's what
3:08
old men do. But if you made- George
3:10
Bush Sr., we saw, what was his thing? Oh, he
3:13
used to be in there. They call me David Copperfield.
3:15
Yeah, that's right. Yeah, the best thing a president has
3:17
ever said. And then
3:19
you, but so they say that
3:21
there might be an issue with that, but also at the
3:23
same time, but if they're like professionals, everybody's getting there and
3:25
we're there to grab a bus. Great.
3:28
Right. I think that'll be good.
3:30
Host spice, you get your, obviously you get your catheter put
3:32
in the fun way by mouth, which
3:34
I think you don't get a lot. But
3:37
I did pitch an idea to Natalie
3:39
that I thought was really funny. Okay.
3:41
No, it's like, why have we not seen a
3:43
pet cleaning service or a pet, you
3:46
know, like, I'm just surprised. Yeah. Why
3:48
have we not seen okay groomer?
3:51
Okay groomer? Yeah. Like
3:54
instead of okay boomer. Okay. And
3:56
I thought that that would be fun to do and you make
3:58
it so like, Oh, come to. Okay, groomer, it's
4:01
the only cancel culture safe
4:04
place for your dog or cat
4:06
or your horse to
4:09
get washed, bathed and
4:11
told to vote for Trump. Yeah, and we'll go
4:13
ahead and we'll take the clippers and we'll put
4:15
a dick on the side of them. I
4:18
mean, again, cancel culture free, grooming
4:20
experience, okay, groomer. And I thought
4:22
that's amazing. Natalie says she thinks
4:24
that everyone at okay, groomer is going
4:26
to get shot. Everyone at
4:28
okay, no. They're the ones
4:31
who do the shooting. But she says that
4:33
then it sounds like it's going to become
4:35
a new comet pizza where people are going
4:37
to go to okay, groomer because they're not
4:39
going to see the fun, like full of
4:42
zest for life, like idea behind.
4:44
You think they're going to be confused with
4:46
groomers as in like people who talk people
4:48
into sex? I don't know if
4:50
that's the term. I don't even know if that's
4:53
the definition. Welcome to Side Stories. I'm Henry Zebrowski.
4:55
This is Ed Larson. I
4:57
don't think it's- Okay, groomer. I
4:59
think, okay, groomer. She
5:01
said that it might bring violence towards the
5:03
people inside of the place. And I was
5:05
like, but the best part is they're all
5:07
safe because they're surrounded by dogs. Yeah, or
5:09
you get a van and you show
5:11
up to people's houses. So you're saying that we
5:14
should have a big white van that says, okay,
5:16
groomer. Paint it whatever color you want. So you're
5:18
just saying, just a van. You do understand there,
5:20
Rosick. I will push back
5:22
on this idea because you know that there's
5:25
a connotation to a roving van. Yeah.
5:28
And if you put okay, groomer on the side of it, everyone
5:30
knows what it is. Yeah. I mean,
5:32
now I'm starting to understand it sounds like a
5:34
mobile pedophile, like
5:37
delivery service. It's like delivering pedophiles
5:39
to your home. So yeah, it's not good. No.
5:42
All right. It's flawed for sure. Yes.
5:45
But I just thought it was a funny name. It is a funny name. See,
5:47
when I thought- at first when you came
5:49
to me with it just now, when you said,
5:51
okay, groomer, my brain didn't go to okay, boomer.
5:54
It went to okay, cupid. And so I thought
5:56
you were just trying to hook up groomers with
5:58
each other. Like
6:00
you're saying, okay, what you
6:02
meant just then was putting
6:04
together people that cut the
6:06
hair of animals together to
6:08
hang out. Yeah. So
6:10
they can meet each other and fuck each other and
6:12
get to know each other. And yeah, you're as innocent
6:15
as a, as a baby in arms. Is that?
6:17
I think that's what it is. You're
6:19
innocent. You really thought of the position,
6:21
like the job groomer. Yeah. That's
6:24
not just from the CIA. Yeah. That's
6:26
amazing. Yeah. Yeah. Wow.
6:30
I don't care yet. No. Well,
6:32
I also don't, I believe in everything you've
6:34
taught me. I just don't care. That's
6:37
kind of my thing. Sure. Good. No,
6:40
it's a good, honestly, very good condom
6:42
against fucking up against being radicalized on
6:45
the internet. The news has always been
6:47
a nightmare for my entire life. It's
6:49
been a fucking disaster nightmare, terrifying place.
6:51
The key to not get radicalized on
6:54
the internet is have a thick layer
6:56
of fish provided, not care
6:58
juice that surrounds your whole brain. You just came
7:00
back from fish. You saw them at the sphere
7:02
on four 20. You
7:07
cared about a single thing. I
7:09
would be pissed. Like if you
7:12
came back from fish on four 20 and
7:14
you were like, we really need to think about
7:16
the infrastructure of this country. I'm going to be
7:18
like, where did you go for the weekend? How
7:21
are you not? Why aren't you? Why
7:23
are you here? Yeah, man. You should
7:25
have quit your job, dude. The TV was so big. It's
7:27
so big. It's the
7:29
fucking size of a fucking building. The
7:32
fucking hieroglyphics were their albums, man. Did you know
7:34
that? I didn't know that. Some
7:37
fucker had to come up and be
7:39
like, yo, man, the hieroglyphics are their
7:41
albums, man. That's crazy, dude. Some guy,
7:44
wow. Yeah. We
7:46
saw through all of it. Yeah. Lots of people talk
7:48
to me the whole weekend. It was not, I was
7:50
in Vegas the whole weekend. I went to fish only
7:52
for one of the four shows with the sphere. In
7:54
the entire weekend, people were just walking up to me
7:56
like, fish, you going to fish? Like the entire weekend,
7:58
like handing me pieces of paper. that I was supposed
8:00
to hand other people. For what? I don't
8:03
know, they do this weird passing around things.
8:05
I don't know, I didn't participate. I was
8:07
there to just eat mushrooms and fucking stare
8:09
at the big TV. And you did a
8:11
really good job at it. Oh my God,
8:13
I did a good job at it. I
8:15
saw your footage, but I'm glad you're here,
8:17
but I am surprised that you still are
8:19
financially solvent. Only just because fish, I feel
8:22
like liberates people. Oh yeah. And liberates a
8:24
type of person. Dude, people were spending money.
8:26
I almost like- Fish does very well. It
8:28
was crazy, right before I was like, I'm just
8:30
gonna check and see how much my tickets are going for. They
8:32
were going for like five grand. It
8:34
was so hard for me not to sell them
8:36
in this fucking- Whoa! And Julie
8:38
got on the one, the lottery, so we didn't pay too much.
8:41
But like, it was fucking, yeah dude, it was
8:43
fucking crazy. Yeah dude, that might be worth not
8:45
going. It was hard for me not to go,
8:47
but I was like, you know what, we're just
8:49
never gonna do this again. You're right. And that's
8:51
it, this is my sixth time seeing fish. I
8:54
was talking to people like 178 times. I'm
8:57
like, I'm quitting now. I'm
8:59
quitting at six. Oh, I, I'm
9:01
done. I've done it. I've seen fish everywhere,
9:03
the sphere is the top. You're saying that
9:05
all the noodling sounds the same? No,
9:08
it doesn't sound the same. It's just,
9:10
I'm fucking done. I've done it. I
9:12
have pamphlets. What we should do is
9:14
that whenever Ed gets too reasonable, we
9:16
should get some noodling to play. Yeah,
9:18
every single time he says something that's
9:20
too coded. I like cars, trucks, and
9:22
buses to get that one. Yeah, we
9:24
just should hit him with the unrecognizable
9:26
fish song. Do
9:28
they have melodies, fish songs? Yeah, they
9:31
do. They have, you know, taste they played.
9:33
That was really good. Yeah, hold them like
9:35
some things. Farmhouse, you know, they have kits,
9:38
but it's the live albums. It's the experience.
9:40
That's what people, I hear, I've heard. Yeah,
9:42
yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, this guy.
9:46
Is that the guy from fish? No, no, no, no, no.
9:48
This is just, this is the song I like. Yeah,
9:52
man. It's fine. Welcome to the
9:54
other side, you fuckers, man. Just
9:56
fucking light your fingers on fire.
9:58
You know what I'm saying? Over
10:00
there glass melts and becomes the sand
10:02
again taxes are due friends That's what
10:04
this song says to me that we're
10:06
just paying what's his name's taxes Phil?
10:08
Oh my god Yes, I had to
10:10
pay some taxes. Well good work really
10:12
good work Well, I'm glad that you're
10:14
alive and I'm glad that you're still
10:17
hireable. Mm-hmm Some updates. Yeah
10:19
last week number one Eddie brought up
10:21
which ended up being kind of an
10:23
uncomfortable Topic for us, but
10:25
it did we did kind of get through
10:27
it where we talked Eddie for some reason
10:29
made me Answer what animal
10:31
I would have sex with and I just
10:33
said chimpanzee just for the sake of saying
10:35
chimpanzee to end it I was just trying
10:38
to end the conversation Yeah, but now people
10:40
have sent me so many articles about all
10:42
the different ways people have sex with monkeys
10:44
I got another clip on mayor gasms We're
10:46
just hope people having sex with the horses
10:48
if we I feel like we are we
10:51
need to guide us back We need to
10:53
guide us back to the to other stories
10:55
other things to towards other other
10:57
content You know, yeah, because the orangutan sex
10:59
slave story that was sent to me But the
11:01
shaved orangutan that he had dressed up like a
11:04
little girl and they put little lipstick on which
11:06
is like in the end We're kissing. Yeah
11:10
You're gonna go to the only dead deadwood rules
11:12
with the orangutan. I just don't really understand you're
11:14
gonna kiss Anything kiss the neck
11:16
kiss the tits I'm only having sex with
11:18
the chimpanzee because I'm forced to because you're
11:20
gonna shoot me in the back of the
11:22
head and it Is vaginal sex with a
11:25
woman? Chip. Yeah, no, it's not
11:27
a hat. Well shave the breasts. You're gonna
11:29
have them shave the breasts When
11:36
I saw that story But then that was the
11:38
orangutan sex life story that it was the guy
11:40
that was arrested for the monkey torture ring the
11:42
guy Who was from the white power like the
11:44
neo-nazi guy that was we you know He was
11:46
just serving up like the monkeys and blenders and
11:48
people were paying him for it again. We're working
11:50
too hard Yeah, so these articles are sent to
11:52
anything about the pigs about pig sex No,
11:55
really. No, there was a you
11:58
like the popular shit I do
12:01
you know that's me. I'm a poser when it
12:03
comes to my Yeah,
12:05
I'm like a doo-a-leep. I do a
12:07
leap. Ah was an orangutan Yeah I
12:10
did get a message for my friend
12:13
Sarah who did send a message to
12:15
Marcus Parks that was honestly It was
12:18
a fairly sexual picture of the Anamorphic
12:20
deer. Oh nice looking it was like it
12:22
was it was going to welcome a lovemaking
12:25
session inside of them That's great. But
12:27
what do you think will be the first
12:29
episode? We don't talk about humans fucking animals. It
12:32
says it will come Now
12:34
just like the animals. We're gonna change right now.
12:36
We don't know they can't consent. All right Well
12:39
the big comeback that we got. Yeah, this
12:41
is crazy. I love our listener I can't
12:43
believe this poll results, but I asked it
12:45
was I actually feel like it is What
12:49
I was expecting but I'm glad that we
12:51
got as much as a little off from
12:53
what you expect sure So this we asked
12:55
everybody and I still want you to ask
12:57
people this because it's fun to do We
12:59
said yeah, ask a stranger not a friend
13:01
not somebody that was into true crime when
13:03
you ask them What's
13:06
the first thing that you think of when
13:08
you hear the word murderer? What's the first
13:10
person and get their response you had said
13:12
something along the lines of he thought I
13:14
might be OJ Simpson I thought OJ would
13:16
be everyone's hands would be the layman's answer
13:18
for murderer, but I think largely It's because
13:20
you like a you like a sports just
13:22
like most people Sure, you
13:24
like a sports and you like again. He would
13:26
be very famous. I said something It was also
13:28
one that was on the news most yeah, yes,
13:30
of course Well in especially that time period crime
13:32
of the century well people for our age all
13:34
right There's been like the trial of the century
13:36
has been like how many trials of the century
13:38
well There's crime of the century which was Lindbergh
13:40
baby, and that was taken early, but you can
13:42
call it the 20 I don't think you can
13:44
call it the time of the century. It was
13:46
one baby. Yeah, yeah, all right. He was a
13:49
not Charles
13:51
Lindbergh we have things we're gonna do a whole series on that
13:53
I can't wait. It's very it's actually that story's fascinating
13:56
All right, so here's the poll so we got back overwhelming
13:59
amount named Jeffrey Dahmer
14:01
as the Netflix show like set that off.
14:03
It was Jeffrey Dahmer, Ted Bundy, and John
14:06
Wayne Gacy were based with the top three
14:08
and they were pretty close in numbers. It
14:10
was like Jeffrey Dahmer, we had 59 mentions,
14:12
Ted Bundy 49, John Wayne Gacy, we had
14:15
32. And then number four
14:17
was OJ Simpson followed closely by Charles Manson.
14:19
So I had Jack the Ripper. Yeah, Jack
14:21
the Ripper makes sense. I'm surprised and then
14:23
yeah those are the only ones that are
14:25
10 and over. The rest of them are
14:27
just a couple. So here are some of
14:29
my favorite outliers. We have some really
14:31
good funny outliers. Hitler was
14:33
twice, of course, he got two. Anakin
14:37
Skywalker, he killed
14:39
all those kids and it was before and then
14:42
he would become I hate you. And then he
14:44
would become Darth Vader, right? Then
14:47
just the fictional character
14:50
Blade, which I do think that
14:52
makes sense. Chris Watts. The Blade didn't kill
14:54
people. He killed vampires.
14:56
Yeah. The
14:58
vampire service people in that world. Maybe.
15:01
Then they said, oh, political Lockheed
15:03
Martin. Whoa. But that only had
15:05
one. Not only
15:07
had one and my personal favorite, myself,
15:09
when I'm down at my wife's pussy.
15:12
Oh yeah, he's a murderer. Like that guy.
15:14
We'll have to meet him at some point.
15:16
We probably already have. I wonder what the
15:18
wife has to say. Oh, and then. One
15:20
more PBR for my husband, please. Yes. Also
15:24
the very, very funny answer of
15:27
your mom. Yeah, definitely like that.
15:29
So thank you so much for the security. Scarf
15:32
in the Lion King. Scarf Lion King, that's funny.
15:34
Again, he only killed one. True killer. But
15:36
he only killed one. He tried to kill more. He
15:39
tried. Yeah, I also tried to be a
15:41
professional baseball player in my mind. Did
15:44
you? No. I'm just saying,
15:46
try. It's also from Star Wars. That's not Star Wars.
15:48
That's true. That's, fuck me.
15:50
That's Lion King. But
15:53
there is no try. I need
15:55
to. Oh, I got you. Yes. Grogu
16:00
could still fucking suck my dick. Whoa! Hey
16:03
Grogu, and that's not pedophile, that's not
16:05
pedophilia. I love that. That's
16:07
not pedophilia. He's an old man. Grogu's
16:09
50. He's 50 years
16:12
old. Side Story's lpotlgmail.com.
16:15
If an alien is a
16:17
baby to us, but
16:20
a baby to them, but old to us,
16:22
can you fuck it without space charges? But
16:25
that's the people. But
16:29
that's the people. I
16:32
gotta know what you guys think. What
16:35
are the intergalactic laws on
16:37
fucking Grogu? Grogu fucking Grogu.
16:40
Again, I'm not into it because I
16:42
don't want to hear his weird little
16:45
whimpering. No, not at all. No, I
16:47
don't want to hear it. He can slurp some
16:49
eggs though. You
16:53
haven't watched, right? No. You
16:55
would like the Mandalorian. I watched
16:57
the first one. Again, my review
16:59
was controversial, more like Mandiborian. Whoa!
17:02
You asshole. I'm pretty special. I'm
17:05
pretty smart. I'm
17:07
pretty educated, and I am. Very
17:14
nice. You like dude. You
17:16
don't like the Mandalorian? Is this too many
17:18
things happening? You know what was about the
17:20
Mandalorian? I think Mandalorian was fine. Yeah.
17:23
I just saw one episode. I don't like TV. Oh,
17:26
there it is. I don't watch TV. I don't
17:28
really like movies. I like movies more than TV.
17:30
Yeah, I like movies. I like documentaries. Yeah. And
17:32
I like my nonfiction shows. Yeah. And
17:35
I like my reality shows. I
17:37
like my Drag Race, and I
17:39
like my Top Chef, and I like my shows. Now
17:42
that I'm thinking about it, I don't think I've ever heard you talk about 1883
17:45
or some shit
17:47
like that. What's that? That's the
17:49
Harrison Ford, Helen Mirrenge, prequel to Yellowstone.
17:51
No, am I in hoespice? No, you
17:54
would like it. It was
17:56
a lot of murder. A lot of murder. I mean,
17:58
it's not enough. It's still not enough. They'll
18:00
say, everyone says a lot of murder, and then
18:02
they go to watch a show, because I love
18:04
murder, and they go to watch a show for
18:06
all the supposed fucking murder in it, and then
18:08
it's all like classy and shit. I like faces
18:10
getting cleaved. I like
18:13
arms being stripped of their flesh.
18:16
Mm-hmm. It's so weird. I've seen all
18:18
these Taylor Sheridan things, and I don't like him, but
18:20
I've watched all of it. I don't know how, like,
18:22
there's like a spell on me. I just think it's
18:24
your algorithm that gets into you, and you like it. I
18:27
don't know if I like it, because I always end
18:29
up like mad. I think it just turns me off.
18:31
It might... Mentally, not
18:33
like sexually. Yeah,
18:35
I get hard as hell. I get hard
18:37
as hell watching Yellowstone. Yeah, except with that
18:40
one lady. There's that one lady in that.
18:42
Oh, the daughter? She's spicy. No, the
18:44
wife. The wife? The spicy
18:46
wife. I don't think he has a wife. What's
18:48
the name? What's a blonde woman in that show?
18:50
That's his daughter. What's his daughter? That's
18:53
Costner's daughter. She's like my age. Yeah,
18:56
Kevin Costner's old. Whoa. Old
19:00
daughter. Yeah. Could
19:03
there be a thing that's milfs but for daughters?
19:08
Old milfs are daughters.
19:11
Henry. What? Not
19:13
anymore, dawg. Not once
19:15
they hit 27. All
19:18
right. And
19:21
that's a fallacy, but again, I love a milf, so I
19:23
think it's great. That was
19:26
the update. I do think I got
19:28
a lot of great messages, people saying
19:30
it's amazing to get good, old-fashioned, crowd-sourced
19:33
information. This is
19:35
our family feud. People know the
19:38
name Jeffrey Dahmer. They know the name Ted Bundy.
19:40
It's the Netflix show. If it wasn't for the
19:42
Netflix show, I bet he wouldn't have been number
19:44
one. And they don't know their crimes. Well, they
19:46
know Jeffrey Dahmer, it's all the big subset. It's
19:48
Jeffrey Dahmer, Cannibal, Ted Bundy. They don't say anything
19:50
about Ted Bundy, but they know that Ted Bundy
19:52
is a name. Yeah, he's a killer. And
19:55
then John Wayne Gacy, Evil Clown. Yeah,
19:57
yeah. And then OJ Simpson, that guy from the
19:59
hearse. commercials. That's what
20:01
they love. But no,
20:04
our audience is like, because also I
20:07
feel like true crime, while it has
20:09
always been an interest of a large
20:11
section of humankind, it's just
20:14
now way more like of the of the money.
20:16
I mean it's kind of going in a, it's
20:18
in a, how do you put
20:20
it? It doesn't really go away, but true crime is
20:22
it had hit a peak and then it receded and
20:24
now we're trying to figure out what to go next.
20:26
I don't know what people, they don't know what they
20:28
want, like your hair. It
20:34
knows where it's going next. It's
20:37
going to hell. You're going
20:39
to my fucking, no, you know where it's going
20:41
man is my fucking, my sides, my ears. Yeah.
20:43
Natalie had his show me the other day, I
20:45
had full, like it looked like my ears had
20:47
little, you gotta shave your ears. Just getting little
20:50
beards on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What the fuck? Yeah,
20:52
no, Julie gets in my ears for me. Yeah,
20:55
you gotta talk to Natalie, she's got to get in
20:57
there. She said no. Or you gotta talk to your
21:00
barber. Yeah, sometimes I got my ears waxed recently. I
21:02
had to put wax in my ears and then rip
21:06
out all the hair. Yeah man.
21:09
10 bucks. 10 bucks. Why do
21:11
you call that a fucking like,
21:13
it's not a Brazilian. That's like
21:15
a South Dakota. What do
21:17
you call that? What do you got to go
21:19
get your ear lobes? Yeah man, you got to
21:21
find the Armenian barbers for that. They know what
21:23
you're talking about. We are becoming orangutans. This
21:26
happening to us. Right from North way.
21:29
My sister is the best gift giver I've ever
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met with any person. Shekki
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Zabrowski. She shops all
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family and friends and puts little things aside
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for their birthdays and Christmases. I have no
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idea how she does it. I
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don't know how she do it, but guess
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23:55
Summer, the best time of year usually
23:57
doesn't come with a great deal. Soaring
23:59
temperatures come with. soaring prices. But
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With IKEA, it's your outdoor dreams inside your
24:23
budget. Also,
24:25
one piece of nerdy sci-fi news that I wanted
24:28
to cover before we bring in our various special
24:30
guest. We have a guest today. I
24:34
need literally, I'm saying, I'm talking about
24:36
this story because I want someone to
24:38
explain it to me. Side Story's opotl@gmail.com.
24:41
Because from what I can see here,
24:43
I don't particularly understand it, but I
24:46
want to know what they're talking about.
24:48
So this came from the debrief. The
24:50
debrief is they cover a lot of
24:52
tech news and stuff within military tech,
24:54
and they have kind of led the
24:57
charge of talking about whether or not
24:59
some of the UAP stuff we're seeing,
25:01
UAP or UFO, and any
25:03
of these weirds of transmenium vehicles, these
25:05
weird orbs, whether or not they are
25:07
technology that we just don't know about
25:09
that China has or Russia has or
25:12
we have, and we're literally lying to our
25:14
own armed forces about what
25:16
we have. That's one theory.
25:18
And this article that just
25:20
came out, NASA Veterans' Propellantless
25:23
Propulsion Drive that physics says shouldn't
25:25
work, just produced enough thrust to
25:27
overcome Earth's gravity. Now this was
25:29
developed by a man by the
25:31
name of Dr. Charles Bueller. Bueller
25:33
is a NASA engineer and co-founder
25:35
of Exodus Propulsion Technologies. And what
25:37
I don't seem to understand is
25:39
what it seems to say here
25:42
is that if you electrify something
25:44
correctly, it floats.
25:47
So he is essentially saying that they
25:49
can charge an object in a way
25:52
to produce what they called, what they
25:54
figured, what they realized was one gravity.
25:57
So what they did was then, what that means is that if you
25:59
can get a to one gravity that means
26:01
it's actively fighting against the gravity
26:04
of the planet Earth. And
26:06
so that means it's a one to one.
26:08
So eventually what you could do is increase
26:10
that and then it'll like be able to
26:12
just very very easily leave the planet Earth.
26:15
Okay, sure. And
26:18
this is electricity, fuck, tells gravity to go
26:20
fuck itself is what you're saying. This
26:25
is why you shouldn't let your kid go to
26:27
fish on 420 because what it does is it
26:31
makes you number one lethally curious
26:34
to anything a man hands you that has a
26:37
drug bar gone. And
26:39
two, you know, I think
26:41
that, yeah, it does help
26:43
simplify your understanding. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So
26:45
yeah, so like maybe, do you think Ted
26:47
Bundy floated when they electrocuted him? Yeah, he
26:50
was like, whoa, whoa, whoa,
26:52
whoa, having a knife, you scone!
26:54
Busy lifting drinks! So
26:59
we can make UAPs now. Well, they're saying
27:01
that, well, what if we already have? Or
27:03
they don't, this is all very theoretical.
27:06
I would love for someone to explain
27:08
it to me in a way that
27:10
a fat bodied comedian man might understand.
27:12
Yeah, UAPs, I feel like from
27:14
what I've been learning from you in these
27:16
last couple of super serious UFO mandates are
27:19
they would have to be drones. Some of
27:21
them. And I love you, like,
27:23
why send a person? Why send an alien
27:25
when you could just send a robot? It's
27:28
very possible. Or do they send things in
27:30
a, I think the concept of them sending
27:32
a deep image of a
27:34
ship, like a hologram of the ship with
27:36
them in it from very, very, very far
27:38
away. Okay. And so what if some of the
27:40
stuff we see, there is a one. But what's the point
27:42
of that? So that they can do recon. Like,
27:45
let's say they are, this is all under the
27:47
one specific umbrella that these are flesh
27:49
and blood creatures. Yeah. They
27:52
have to eat, like they have to have
27:54
stuff. So what if, but there could just be
27:56
a bunch of jelly. Absolutely.
27:58
But they might still need. to eat, they
28:00
might still need to do stuff. So let's just
28:02
say one concept is they are
28:05
either running out of resources like we
28:07
are or running out of
28:09
literally just living space or are
28:11
they a conqueror race? Are
28:14
they just curious? Literally just curious.
28:16
Are we them from
28:18
the very, very, very far future?
28:20
Or the very, very, very past?
28:22
Who knows? And that maybe they're
28:25
literally this so then they could
28:27
create an interdimensional window, ostensibly to
28:29
look at us from there. That's
28:31
one theory. I don't know. I don't buy
28:33
it that they'd come here. Why? You're here.
28:36
I know I'm here. I was born here.
28:38
Yeah, man. You didn't ask for that either.
28:40
Yeah. But I think that if we were
28:42
going to another planet years away, how old
28:44
am I going to get getting there? Unless you
28:47
can do it instantly through an interdimensional porthole. I
28:49
don't think they have those. Those don't make sense.
28:51
See, this is the thing. I thought fish would
28:53
you got to let it in because
28:55
you could see this. There's so many
28:57
things capable. How do you think Phil
29:00
gets from place to place to place?
29:02
Who's Phil? The lead singer of Trey.
29:06
Trey Anastasio. What's Phil? Phil?
29:09
Is it from Pantera? No, it's
29:11
fucking punks with Tony Phil. Who's
29:13
the lead singer of Pantera? Who
29:15
cares? Dimebag Darrell, not him. Trey
29:17
Anastasio. The only way he gets
29:19
back and forth is by,
29:21
I mean, like he probably just thinks he's
29:23
in a magic chair and all of a
29:26
sudden he's playing his electrified Bandra. It is
29:28
surprisingly thought out. Yeah, of course it has
29:30
to be. You were right. Phil
29:33
and Selmo. Oh, from Phil. Oh, he's the
29:35
other guy from Pantera. That's what I was asking. That's
29:38
what I was going to say. Yeah. He's
29:40
a big, I don't think he's a nice guy. Yeah, he
29:43
pissed off Dimebag Darrell and then Dimebag got shot. It's
29:45
really very sad actually. Well, these
29:47
are the updates. I think we learned
29:49
a lot about nothing.
29:53
And now it's time to get some new stories. But for that, let's
29:56
bring in our guest. Yes. Right
29:58
from North Lane. And
30:00
now we have a very
30:02
old friend Very
30:08
old friend of LPN It
30:11
is so good to have you in studio with us
30:13
to check out some of these horrible stories Dan Saint
30:15
Germain Long time listener first
30:17
time guests Glad to be here Nice
30:20
to see you buddy, you're here promoing
30:22
your new special dance fatty dance Dance
30:24
fatty dance LPN network Check
30:27
it out. It's on YouTube for free.
30:29
Yeah, and I think it's I think
30:31
it's pretty funny. Yeah, that's a solid
30:33
pitch Yeah, fine. I you feel like
30:35
you could might enjoy it cock
30:37
a little yeah I
30:41
don't want to go total Sholsy Schultz
30:43
where I'm like this is fucking next
30:45
level, you know, like what I don't
30:47
want to be like Was this a piece of
30:49
like filthy we're hopping boogie nights like fucking this
30:51
piece of shit Well, that's sad and kind of
30:53
scary, you know, yeah Yeah,
30:56
because also it's never Changing
30:59
everything I find it when someone says
31:02
that it is it's definitely not definitely
31:04
not. Yeah. No There's a
31:07
few instances like when they went when
31:09
they like let Jackie Robinson play
31:11
that that probably changed everything A
31:14
couple change everything that changed everything when
31:16
Marlon Brando didn't take the Oscar and
31:19
he sent that Italian woman changed
31:21
everything She
31:24
not she wasn't native american she was Italian
31:26
absolutely not fucking hilarious Love it love it.
31:28
Oh my god, that's hilarious All
31:32
right. So here we go. Dan. This is gonna
31:35
be you're gonna love this story. Yes. All right
31:37
So now this was uh, I actually find this
31:39
extremely interesting a 10 year old
31:41
allegedly confesses to randomly killing a
31:43
stranger When he was seven, so
31:46
this is in texas. Obviously, um this 10
31:48
year old child According to
31:50
the daily beast the texas
31:52
the child nonchalantly Confess
31:55
to killing a man. Yeah, like
31:58
executed him as the man That's
32:01
the dead man. That's not the child. I
32:04
wish that was the child. He looks like an amalgamation of
32:06
us. Yeah, he never made
32:08
a single correct choice. If you die, unfortunately,
32:10
and this is not, I'm trying not to
32:12
victim blame here, but if you die in
32:14
a trailer, sitting in a chair, getting your
32:16
face blown wide open by a seven-year-old. I
32:18
think he was dead asleep though. He
32:21
did completely dead asleep. He shot him in the
32:23
face. Just asking for it. Took
32:25
his grandpa's gun and went and shot him in
32:28
the face, and then the grandpa ended up stealing
32:30
the gun, not knowing that this happened. So
32:32
he thought he just killed himself. So apparently,
32:34
they said it was suspicious
32:36
because of the angle. He obviously was shot
32:38
in the fucking face. So
32:41
this child apparently was left without
32:43
any form of supervision, and then
32:45
went in, and I guess- This
32:47
was his son? This was- No!
32:49
This is the guy who came in there! This guy had-
32:52
This guy had a stranger. It
32:54
was no motivation whatsoever. Dude, watch
32:56
out for this kid. Dude was
32:58
just asleep. Dude was just asleep.
33:01
And so the kid apparently saw him
33:03
walk by in the trailer. He saw the gun.
33:06
And his grandfather's car that was in the
33:08
front was in the dash compartment, right? He
33:10
pulls it out. The kid just said, like,
33:12
Oh, this is fun. Oh, I've
33:14
got a fun gun. I've seen this on the TV. John
33:17
Wick, you did this. I just
33:19
don't wish they'd read your talk.
33:21
There was like three different acts.
33:23
It went from chimney, sweet British,
33:25
to Kyoto, Japan. SNL,
33:28
stop calling. We
33:30
got Brooks Wheeling over here. Let's come down. You did fine.
33:33
You did fine. You did fine. But
33:35
then he was asleep, and it's just asleep.
33:37
Like a schmuck. And the
33:39
kid walked up to him and just blew
33:42
his fucking brains out. Oh my god. And
33:44
then apparently stood, looked at
33:46
his now fully dead corpse, walked
33:48
back, put the gun back
33:50
into his grandfather's dash compartment, and then
33:53
just walked away. Like
33:55
he was fucking Johnny Cash. Seven
33:58
years old. Yeah. I
34:00
what I think is because you guys
34:02
are you know, it's a burgeoning enterprises
34:04
last podcast on the left And
34:06
you know how Nickelodeon had like kids news. Yes,
34:08
you guys should Do
34:10
like last podcast on the left kids
34:13
news. I would love that to hear
34:15
from his perspective. Yeah sports illustrated for
34:17
kids I know that was nice Reaches
34:20
out to Republicans. Exactly. It's like that type
34:22
of thing. We can still throw Kurt loader
34:24
on to every once in a while Oh,
34:27
yeah, he speaks to the kids. Yeah for
34:29
sure But I would I would bring him
34:31
on bring him into the fold So when
34:33
asked the child stated that he had never
34:35
met Brandon And
34:37
did not know who he was Although
34:39
he'd observed him walking around the RV
34:41
earlier that day The child
34:43
that was also asked if he was mad at
34:45
Brandon for some reason or if Brandon had ever
34:48
done anything to make Him mad and the kid
34:50
said no, I thought that Brandon
34:52
was trying me and I knew that I
34:54
had to Can regulate With
34:58
my child hand and I ended his life
35:00
Yeah I So the child was
35:02
able to direct law enforcement to the gun
35:04
and then so this is where this all
35:07
came from So he just kind of casually said I shot
35:09
a man to watch and this was three years later. Oh,
35:11
yeah Think about he's a kid
35:13
little sitting there smoking a cigarette going like right?
35:15
Yeah, I fucking killed I killed a man two
35:17
years ago Like he was
35:19
like, what was that wrestler that killed
35:21
his molester that killed his molester? Who
35:23
was the wrestler the guy that killed it
35:26
was the I? The
35:29
guy that molested him I'm
35:31
not sure. I know. I mean there's been
35:34
famously a ton of oh that was the
35:36
MMA guy You're talking about Cain Velasquez shot.
35:39
No it that well, he never killed anybody.
35:41
He also killed his molester No, he didn't
35:43
he tried to kill his son's molester and
35:45
ended up shooting the dad of
35:47
the molester So
36:00
the kid... By the way,
36:02
he's seen a dusky innocent. No, I'm just kidding.
36:04
We need to take a look at the evidence
36:06
again. Was that guy a... That guy was a
36:08
wrestler who did that though? That was another wrestler
36:11
who... Oh no, this is a guy. This is a
36:13
famous guy, Gary Plowshay. This is a famous story of
36:15
a guy that shot... I have no idea what this
36:17
is. He shot the guy that molested his daughter as
36:19
he was on his way into court. He popped out
36:22
from behind me. I saw that, yeah. That's
36:24
the guy who did that. He shot him from
36:26
as he was walking into court. He
36:29
also got... How many years did he get?
36:32
He had a bunch of time. There was another story. I think
36:34
he got off, right? He didn't get
36:36
a lot of time. You gotta get in
36:38
trouble for that, unfortunately. Unfortunately. Wait, no, no.
36:41
He was sent a seven year suspended
36:43
sentence with five
36:45
hours probation and 300 hours of
36:48
Q's. Having said that, if
36:50
you go to prison as a guy
36:52
who murdered your kid's
36:55
pedophile, you are a...
36:57
I feel like they treat you
36:59
good. You're Tom Brady. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You
37:02
go in there, you're a maid. Yeah, you can do whatever you want.
37:04
Yeah. I didn't imagine they'd treat him
37:06
all right. Yeah, they treat him all right. The guy
37:08
that I was talking about was Marty Gennady. Marty Gennady?
37:11
No, that was... I understand. We've
37:13
covered... I have a wrestling podcast,
37:15
Wrestle Roast, that's turning into working
37:18
stiff, but it's me, Robert Carpel, Mike Lawrence,
37:20
and Scott Chaplin, a very funny gentleman. Marty
37:24
Gennady said that he murdered
37:26
this guy who molested him
37:28
at a bowling alley or
37:30
tried to molest him, and
37:33
it's all bullshit. He's just one of those guys who just
37:35
lies all the time. He starts saying some stuff. Because they
37:37
investigated it and the police had to come out and be
37:39
like, yeah, I think he... I
37:41
never told no one this, even my
37:43
brother Gino. Yeah. Because
37:46
Gino would have killed him and I didn't want my brother
37:48
gone. Hell, he only recently
37:50
come home from Vietnam. I
37:52
was 13 working at Victory Lane's
37:54
bowling alley, buying weed from a fucker
37:56
that worked there, and he put his
37:58
hands on me. He dragged me around the
38:01
back of the building. You already know what he was
38:03
gonna try to do. That's what
38:05
he said. And then he said that was the first time he made a
38:07
man disappear. He
38:09
talks like a Huckleberry Finn character. Yeah.
38:13
It's a really down story. Yeah, I made him
38:15
disappear, Bob. But he also
38:18
said something very uncomfortable at his daughter
38:20
on Facebook. He's not a, yeah, yeah.
38:22
He's not well. I'm off-boarding for him.
38:24
He's not well. He's not well. All
38:27
right, good for Marty. Thankfully, he'll
38:29
be here next week as
38:31
our guest on Side Story. Yeah, I
38:33
can't wait. I would feel honored if
38:36
I shared the dais with Marty Gennetti. I
38:40
love that guy. But the kid was, all right, so
38:42
back to the kid, it's weird you said it, but
38:44
it totally makes sense.
38:46
While the child was too young to face
38:48
criminal charges for the incident, he was just
38:50
recently pulled from a bust because he was
38:52
charged for making a terroristic threat to another
38:54
student. So he's already ready. This kid's fucking,
38:56
yeah. Fuck this kid. Marty
38:59
Gennetti. Yeah. Yeah, dude.
39:02
You gotta put a tracker on that kid.
39:05
That's scary. I think they did, actually. Yeah,
39:07
it's called Juve. No,
39:10
he got nothing. He had nothing. Absolutely
39:13
nothing. Oh, why? Under 10,
39:15
you can't get convicted for murder. That's
39:18
why. Really? And yet,
39:20
we should be using to fucking kill
39:22
people. Child assassins
39:25
would be an incredible business.
39:29
We put them on the human traffickers and we call
39:31
the children of the poor. Oh
39:33
my God, you guys are just printing. This
39:36
is called printing money. Is
39:39
this the printing money network? I'm
39:44
just smelling those dollar bills. Yeah,
39:46
all we do is make great ideas. I
39:48
came up with Hose Spice, the idea of
39:50
anything. I remember that. I went through that,
39:52
yeah. And then Natalie shut down OK Groomer,
39:54
the pet service that comes to you. OK
39:58
Groomer. OK Groomer. And. She
40:00
was mad at that because she said, you know,
40:02
that sounds like everybody who works at, okay, groomer
40:04
is gonna get murdered by somebody that
40:06
like a common pizza guy. I'm also, because
40:08
we're talking about pedophiles, I'm thinking grooming, like,
40:11
okay, groomer. Yes. Like
40:14
it's a pedophile who tells tall tales.
40:16
Okay, groomer. We've
40:19
heard it before. Okay, Dan Schneider,
40:22
we get it. You were the
40:24
second guy with Jambane Ramsey. We've
40:27
heard it. You were there before it was cool. It
40:31
does work actually. I don't know how we didn't think
40:33
about that. There's another revenge murder in the news, if
40:35
you guys want to check it out, please. A
40:37
ram has killed a New
40:39
Zealand couple. Actually, this
40:41
one's fucked. This is like, they went
40:44
to go, they went on a, what
40:46
do they call it? They went to go check on
40:48
them, a welfare check on these very, very old people.
40:50
They were in their 80s. Yeah. And
40:52
when they went out there, the old man,
40:55
I guess, went out there to feed
40:57
the ram or some shit. It
40:59
was a rogue ram. It wasn't their ram.
41:01
Oh, it was rogue? Yeah, it was a
41:03
rogue ram. They didn't own it. I don't
41:05
think many people own rams. They're
41:08
not like, ram is different than sheep. I could
41:10
be an idiot, but I'm pretty
41:12
sure that ram are their own thing. Dodge
41:14
rams. That's right. Well, that's what they-
41:16
Thank you, he already made a joke. That's what they should have
41:18
done. That's what I'm saying. He dodged the ram. That was what
41:20
he was saying before the show and I didn't approve. Yeah.
41:24
I didn't approve the joke. Thank you, I
41:26
know. I'm just bringing out, you know, bringing
41:28
out those at midnight puns. Many small flock
41:30
owners have just one ram, which
41:32
needs to be separated at some point. That makes
41:34
sense. Because the ram's got a fuck. The ram's
41:36
the one that fucks all the rest of them.
41:38
Oh, the ram is like the rooster of the
41:40
sheep community? I'm just saying stuff too, buddy. I'm
41:43
also just saying stuff, but I'm pretty certain
41:45
that that's true. They had some sheep, some
41:47
chickens, and some cattle. But they killed it.
41:50
So basically they showed up. The old man
41:52
went out to go feed the sheep or
41:54
some fucking garbage. The ram immediately murdered them.
41:57
I don't know if you call it murder with the ram. I
42:00
don't think it's murder. I think it's just you
42:02
know, they were killed by an animal But then
42:04
the old lady was like wish my husband and
42:06
she wanted to go look for him back out
42:09
and they ran And
42:11
got her too, isn't that was that Spanish
42:13
horror movie that came out last year where
42:15
they're looking at the go when evil lurks
42:17
when evil Or a scene from what evil
42:20
or you see lamb. I haven't
42:22
seen. I mean lamb fucking rocks Like
42:26
Like the half-man half lamb or whatever that's
42:29
some good shit. It's really fucking weird But
42:32
then the police came because I guess
42:35
that's who you call because they showed up they found the two people
42:37
Fucking rammed to death. Yeah in
42:40
their pen and then the fucking
42:42
ram bowed up at the cops
42:45
And they had to light them up and shot
42:47
the ram in the head squared up Oh, yeah,
42:49
dude, that Ram was coming in that Ram didn't
42:51
want it. He said he was not driving He
42:53
was traveling He
42:55
says that he broke his contract By
42:58
not signing his license. He says that legally I
43:00
can't have a license. I'm a ram That
43:03
guy looks like he's upset from having to kill
43:05
the ram. I think it's not fun I think
43:07
that we we actually did cover like
43:09
a not funny statistic talking about how many dogs
43:11
police officers have shot like, you know That's not
43:13
and how they just don't give a shit at
43:15
all That's not fun But I don't think like
43:17
anybody's like super jazz But I do feel like
43:20
if you just got to kill another type of
43:22
animal even that's kind of sad I think once
43:24
the Ram killed the second person it signed its
43:26
own death warrant. Oh, yeah, then it's the son
43:28
of ram Yeah, yeah, it's like a serial killer.
43:30
Yeah, yeah, they had to kill it I
43:32
honestly didn't think New Zealand cops even
43:34
killed two people that you two people
43:39
That's more than Mark David Chapman
43:45
He is a very that is
43:47
a murderous animal did oh my
43:49
goodness Well shout out to them
43:52
shout out to who the dead people. Oh fine
43:55
I guess but also 80s 80s
43:57
is hard. You gotta people work long
44:00
into the ratings, you're like, I just don't understand
44:02
people who have that type of like hardcore, like
44:04
my Chris who works on your pretty face is
44:06
going to hell, who worked on your pretty face
44:08
is going to hell. His father is
44:11
like 85 years old and
44:13
he's still like manages vintage apple
44:15
orchards and shit and it's like
44:17
the only thing my father can
44:19
do is smoke. Yeah. And
44:21
I don't know how they get to that. I don't
44:23
know how they, I mean, that's a hard job.
44:26
Apple orchard. It's just out there all
44:28
day. And vintage? What
44:30
does that mean? He saves
44:32
apple lineages. So he
44:35
goes in front like, this is a very
44:37
specific role in society.
44:39
Yeah. People
44:42
killed by animals. That's gotta be like
44:44
very rare in general, right? Gotta be
44:46
surreal. I've known lots of dead people
44:48
in my life. Not
44:51
one of them was killed by an animal. You have alibis?
44:53
Pre-quendinal? Yeah, I do. I do.
44:56
I'm at lots of restaurants. I'm
45:00
at lots of restaurants, lots of movies. Around
45:02
201 deaths annually. Yeah,
45:05
it's not that much. Cause again, we don't
45:07
have, it's not like we're only in America.
45:09
That's only in America. We're not in a
45:11
quote unquote agrarian culture anymore. Yeah. Well, I'm
45:13
trying to write this new bit about like,
45:16
you know, my sympathy for your
45:18
crocodile death depends on what area
45:20
of the world you're from. Like if you're
45:22
from Indonesia, I'm like, I feel bad cause you were just trying
45:25
to fish for your family. But if you
45:27
like, you were in Florida or something, it's like
45:29
you were trying to, it's like this
45:31
fucking croc thinks it's better than me. I guess
45:33
your fault. The more
45:35
first world nation it is, the more fault it
45:38
is. Do you ever see that video of it
45:40
was a little old lady and she has a
45:42
very, very tiny dog on a leash and you're
45:44
watching her fight this little dog. It looks like
45:47
a fucking Looney Tunes cartoon. Where it's this little
45:49
dog going, barf, barf, barf, barf. At this alligator,
45:52
just like over out to Sierra net and this little
45:54
dog and she's like, come on, come on. And the,
45:56
barf, barf, barf. This, the alligator
45:58
just takes the fucking dog. and
46:00
the lady in one go like yeah, it's like the
46:02
dog hits the back of the alligators throat and the
46:04
fucking chomps on his arm And it literally just pulls
46:06
the lady like just kills him both. Yeah, it just
46:08
sucks them right in the lake man It's not cool.
46:10
Where do you get those videos? I'll send you some
46:12
later Sent
46:16
into us We have
46:18
another super morbid one. I want to sit I'm not
46:20
dance here. All right, we can do more of it
46:22
Yeah, this one's really fucked up. This is fucking yeah,
46:24
you'll like this one. Yeah, a Horrible
46:27
is this horrible video
46:29
is this Brazil? No, I want to do the
46:31
first one I wanted to do with the dude getting
46:33
lit up. Okay. Yeah, let's do that because already caught talked
46:35
about it with the ram So this is just I
46:37
just wanted to show you this video you can get this
46:40
reaction This is like this fuck so this is in
46:42
the Seattle Police Department Mamma named
46:44
chief Adrian Diaz so a guy so they
46:46
had set up a sting at a
46:49
double tree Which
46:51
makes sense where they were setting up an
46:53
old man to come and I guess 67
46:57
They say the they call it
46:59
a meeting between two young
47:01
girls So seven ages seven and eleven and
47:03
unless they're very there to do candy sampling
47:05
for Hershey's Yeah, I don't think that it's
47:07
like a meeting. You know, I mean I
47:10
think they're there to have sex with these
47:12
little girls and so what the
47:14
cops are there They set it up as
47:16
a sting and they show the video this
47:18
is dash cam footage from inside of the
47:21
Room so they were waiting for him to come in
47:24
and so if you want to pull up the video I just want to show it
47:26
to these a Dan will not
47:28
this one. Not this one. We're gonna that's next
47:39
Unfortunate man, it is unfortunate
47:41
so they were so these two police officers were
47:43
inside of the the hotel room and then all
47:45
of a sudden they I guess they Were waiting
47:47
for this dude because he was supposed to come
47:49
in and they were they were just gonna grab
47:51
him and then this fucking happened Dude,
48:01
it's right! My God! Dude,
48:04
yeah, that guy didn't stand a chance. That's fucked up.
48:08
Alright, cut it. So this guy was like, he came
48:10
in, the reason why it's truly crazy is that that
48:12
guy was coming in with a gun ready. He
48:14
thought that those little girls with the
48:17
little girl handler were in that room
48:19
with the police, but then you saw the dude
48:22
as he pulled it up. That was a crazy
48:24
move by the cop because the cop put, he
48:26
did, I guess with this guy, a perfectly executed
48:28
defensive maneuver where he grabbed a gun. He grabbed
48:31
the gun and he pressed it to his chest
48:33
and then he shot himself in the arm, but
48:35
then those two just got, they just lit him
48:37
up. So do you think this guy was coming
48:40
to kill the people who held the children? I
48:42
think that he was coming to steal the children. Do
48:44
you think he was coming to steal? He wasn't like
48:46
some weird vigilante? I mean either way, it was a
48:48
bad move. It was definitely a bad move. You
48:50
don't pull a gun out of the cop. I
48:53
say you're going to... That's the actual sound of
48:55
freedom. You
49:01
know, what if, oh God, I guess if it was a
49:03
water gun it would be bad because if that was a
49:05
funny joke, that would be a funny joke for
49:08
a human trafficker to play, wouldn't it? And
49:10
then I also wonder if
49:12
you were to... You're going
49:14
to bring
49:16
cereal and candy. Well, yeah,
49:19
I just think, I don't know, I
49:21
think there's something too like all these
49:23
people who have been fucking weaponized by
49:26
anti-fucking misinformation.
49:28
Oh yeah, of course. So
49:30
you think that he's saying that that guy
49:32
is, you're saying that that guy was scared
49:35
of his own pedophilic activities and so he
49:37
brought a gun to protect himself? I think
49:39
he was posing as a pedophile to go
49:41
to get these children and become
49:44
a hero and then the cops killed them. All
49:46
I know is if you're a cop, if you're
49:48
the cop in that situation and you're talking to
49:50
other people, like it's like, oh yeah, I shoot
49:52
this kid, he was 16, he was sick, he
49:54
felt terrible and he goes, oh really? I just,
49:57
you know, just killed a pedophile that was about to
49:59
shoot. Oh shit, he gets into work,
50:01
he gets a free milkshake. Yeah,
50:07
no, this cop's definitely not going to buy a
50:09
drink for the rest of his life. But they're
50:12
saying here that- That's the best way to kill
50:14
somebody. Yeah. So this guy,
50:16
so they were conducting an internet crimes
50:18
against children tax force operation. So
50:20
that's what that, that's what I guess this
50:22
is. So I guess they, well, they do
50:24
the thing that they build a
50:26
case, they have like the, you
50:29
ever, there's a series on TLC,
50:31
I believe, that covers the units
50:33
of the, there are largely
50:36
female officers- To shoot a predator. When
50:40
they, they're cops that
50:42
act like children. Oh yeah. They're the, and
50:44
that they, when they call, like, would they,
50:46
they go like- Do they have little handcuffs
50:48
and- I don't think- It's
50:58
weird, they have these two like very
51:00
slight lady police officers and
51:02
then they are not, then they
51:04
hire a service that is not
51:06
cops, that just sounds like children.
51:09
They get an of age woman
51:11
who will sound like a child
51:13
and they use it to communicate
51:15
with the pedophile to get them
51:17
hooked, right? To get them
51:19
all- So that service is just for the cops?
51:21
What was that? Is that service just for the
51:23
cops? I did just sound like somebody
51:25
who's about to use that
51:28
service. So maybe forget
51:30
what I just said. Is that service just
51:32
for the, just for the
51:34
good? At what level UCB class do they
51:37
teach you? Yeah, act like a child
51:39
for the police. I
51:41
think it's once you get to Matt Messer's home. I
51:45
didn't book SNL, but- Hey, I
51:48
got this new- he's teaching me.
51:50
That crimes against children apparently are up 67%
51:52
from 2022 to 2023. It
51:57
is very, very bad. It's bad?
51:59
That's crazy. right does it I don't
52:02
know I mean it just feels like the internet keeps getting
52:04
bigger so yeah well it's also
52:06
more I think that we're getting a 20 year
52:08
that's crazy and we're paying attention to it a
52:10
lot more because they're you know for a long
52:12
time if you cut you know how long as
52:14
we've been covering true crime and you read about
52:17
how like essentially it wasn't
52:19
a crime to do it into a child until like 1995
52:21
or whatever like a long time no one has cared
52:26
about kids they've been viewed as disposable for
52:28
for and now we're just trying to fix
52:30
that which I think is probably the uptick
52:32
is that it's more so in
52:35
the actual pursuing of it
52:37
yeah by the police the cyber tip
52:39
line received 36.2 million
52:42
reports of suspected child sexual exploitation
52:44
in 2023 and go check out
52:47
Dan St. Germain's I
52:50
have never said there's only
52:53
some things you can hear
52:55
on his back I want
53:01
to say first off like out of all
53:03
the podcasts I've done like last podcast probably
53:05
one of my favorites if not my favorite
53:07
thank you huge fan I got I
53:09
got listening I listened
53:12
to it during my life I'm married
53:14
now but my last breakup oh yeah
53:16
not the one that you guys knew yeah I
53:18
got really too into the Franklin
53:23
cover-up we talked kind
53:26
of ruined my life I don't then the
53:28
Robert Picton stuff I wrote a thriller about
53:30
that and I left like comedy stand up
53:33
for like two years just write thrillers so
53:35
in a lot of ways my favorite podcast
53:37
in other ways to ruin
53:39
my really wrote the Robert Picton screenplay
53:42
right a Robert Picton it's not exactly
53:44
if you know Robert Picton you read
53:46
the screenplay you're like oh this is
53:49
clearly based on that but it's not
53:51
it's it's like an homage
53:54
it's not totally it's it's fiction but
53:56
he's clearly the basis for the character
53:58
it's like a fan you're like like
54:00
you're from a fans perspective yeah I'm
54:02
firmly in the side of the victim during
54:09
the script what if you made me wonder
54:11
now I got here oh you know feeding
54:23
people made out of sausages his like
54:25
I've always wanted to see pictorial of
54:27
the actual like the ideal bat
54:30
the hangout yeah going to the with the
54:32
pig palace doing all I got I so
54:34
into it when I went when I was
54:36
writing it I was a headline the Vancouver
54:38
yuck yucks because I hadn't like left stand-up
54:40
yet and I went around to all
54:43
the spots picked and used to pick up women
54:45
in Vancouver wow
54:47
it was very dark very no I
54:49
didn't pick them up I was I
54:52
admit Sarah at that point I was it was such
54:54
a dark area that when I went into the strip
54:56
club that was the one that felt like a Starbucks
54:58
really really really really bleak
55:06
really bleak down there in Vancouver no it is
55:08
in place there's some places in Vancouver they're tough
55:10
beautiful save but I also hear you hear it's
55:12
wonderful but I have heard that before as well
55:14
even open air drug market that I was
55:16
just walking around there I love the people
55:19
on an edible but yeah oh really it
55:21
was horrible I went there the last time
55:23
we were there they have that it's the
55:25
Walking Dead unfortunately there's like the heroin problem
55:27
is insane yeah downtown Vancouver it's I feel
55:29
bad for them but it's the most blood
55:31
I've seen just open and
55:34
the city and that's a mystery yeah good
55:36
work Canada honestly you beat us
55:38
because it's Dublin and Vancouver is the most
55:42
open blood I've seen places
55:45
yeah New York I saw a lot of blood we'll get you
55:47
there New York's gotten when I was in
55:49
these village I mean I'm living in Queens now but
55:51
people just shooting up right and oh
55:53
yeah right and by the way I just got
55:55
out of rehab again in December yeah and the
55:59
kids on drugs now in their early
56:01
20s. Like
56:04
I'm never gonna hear anybody like say that
56:06
the 70s party hardest that our generation partied
56:08
hardest these kids are on
56:10
medical grade fentanyl and end-of-life drugs still
56:12
a lot and they're They're
56:15
super sure it's basically like comparing
56:17
the NBA before they left black
56:19
people You
56:22
know what I mean like we're the white we're the
56:24
white NBA kids are
56:26
like when When
56:28
Jordan showed up they're taking a hose
56:31
spice drugs They're taking like like I
56:33
can't you can't understand them. They don't
56:35
fuck they just go You
56:39
know, I can handle and I'm like, yeah,
56:41
you're right I couldn't no no I just like alcohol
56:44
Yeah, yeah, the post Malone generation.
56:46
Oh, dude, it's it's crazy A
56:51
lot of my faces to 70%
56:54
want to be DJ's. Yeah. Hey, that's a
56:56
fucking great entry-level career for anybody who loves
56:58
fentanyl. It's a real job No, it
57:01
is sorta. That's fine. Well, I'm glad that
57:03
you're good. Good. Yeah six months back Bad
57:07
dance fatty dance check it out,
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baby Summer
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for a quick break to talk about McDonald's.
58:16
Mornings are for mixing and matching at McDonald's.
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For just $3, mix and match two of
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your favorite breakfast items, including a sausage
58:23
McMuffin. We're
58:56
just trying to get out of our current beastiality cycle like
58:58
we're trying to get out of it. It's just been a
59:00
lot. It's hard not
59:02
to mention it. But then we're getting into
59:05
the updates and then I'm talking about the
59:07
other discuss. We gotta stop talking. The problem
59:09
is with your personality although you want to
59:11
get out of it I don't know if
59:13
that's possible for you. I'm locked into this
59:15
antagonistic. I feel like you have to talk
59:17
about horse clips. I can't. We did it last
59:20
week. I know. My hands are tied. I don't
59:22
know what to do. This is me. Your hooves
59:24
are tied. I don't want them. Did
59:27
I tell you I used to be
59:29
a movie usher at the IFC. Oh I remember
59:31
that. This is a true story. You got fired.
59:34
I quit but I got
59:36
thrown out by the projection or cartoon.
59:38
He threw me out because I was
59:40
drunk watching wrestling results. But
59:42
anyway I was there. This was about
59:45
a day after Baldwin had
59:47
called his daughter a fat pig on
59:49
The View. We were showing that documentary
59:51
about Mr. Hands the guy who got
59:53
fucked to death by a horse and
59:55
died. Yes. At 10 a.m. this is
59:58
the day after Baldwin got canceled. He
1:00:00
came in to watch the first showing
1:00:03
of that movie. The
1:00:05
horse fucking movie. Yeah,
1:00:07
dude. Hour and a
1:00:09
half later, hour and a half later, I
1:00:11
hear from the back of my ear, I hear, Disturbing,
1:00:16
wasn't it? And I turn around
1:00:18
and go, Ooh, I can't believe.
1:00:20
And I'm like, somehow I think
1:00:22
that led to the rush shooting.
1:00:26
I don't know. I have
1:00:28
like my JFK, the little
1:00:30
arrows going everywhere. There
1:00:33
were horses on set. What
1:00:36
is the craziest, like why would you, like, what
1:00:38
a looney tune? He's like, he had to relax.
1:00:40
He's been, I'm getting a lot of heat. A
1:00:43
lot of heat. I don't know why.
1:00:49
But the cycle that we're currently stuck
1:00:51
in is fucking people,
1:00:55
weekend at Bernie's, in
1:00:58
people. It is this idea
1:01:00
of people using other people's corpses for
1:01:02
monetary gain. This is going
1:01:05
to be the third story we
1:01:07
have covered in as many weeks over someone
1:01:09
doing it. Part of me, I wonder if
1:01:11
they influence each other. Yes, if
1:01:13
it's like almost like copycatting style. I'm
1:01:16
in the middle of Brazil, so I don't know if they got our
1:01:18
news down there. All right. So this comes, yeah, this is in Brazil.
1:01:21
A woman brought a man in a wheelchair into a
1:01:23
South American bank, but, uh, an attempted to take a
1:01:25
loan out on his name, but the man
1:01:27
had been dead for hours. Erika de
1:01:29
Sousa Vieira Nunez, 42, was arrested
1:01:31
Tuesday following the bizarre incident in Bangu,
1:01:34
a neighborhood in western Rio de
1:01:36
Janeiro. A
1:01:38
woman claimed that the man identified by police
1:01:40
as 68-year-old Paulo Wrobarco Braga was her uncle
1:01:42
and wanted to sign papers for a $3,250
1:01:44
loan. And
1:01:47
then when he arrived at the bank, it was very much so,
1:01:49
a dead man. And the best
1:01:51
part is that this woman was so concerned
1:01:53
with positioning her dead uncle into a way
1:01:56
that would make him look like he was
1:01:58
alive, that
1:02:00
the teller was actively filming her do
1:02:03
this and she's like smiling next to the body.
1:02:06
So they're into burnages never as fun as you think
1:02:08
it's gonna be. I know it's not because of the
1:02:10
sink and it's the sallow
1:02:12
open mouth stare of a corpse. That's
1:02:14
a real corpse right there. Oh
1:02:17
yeah yeah yeah so this is a video. She
1:02:22
is music? She is holding up his hand and then... Is that
1:02:24
one of the aliens from Mac and me? Sir.
1:02:28
Man we did it Joe. That's
1:02:34
what it looks like. But she really isn't asking
1:02:36
for that much though. That's my thing. It's like
1:02:38
if you're gonna do this I would at least
1:02:40
go for 10k. Well I think that's probably why
1:02:42
she should have gotten it. I
1:02:46
also... This shows the desperation to
1:02:49
get it but this guy is extremely
1:02:51
dead and the way she's operating
1:02:54
his hands like he is gonzo. Yeah. Like
1:02:56
he is doing it like he is a
1:02:58
muppet. Like she's just moving his head back
1:03:00
and forth. Oh wow. He's like going like
1:03:02
hey pay attention pay attention. Smack in his
1:03:04
face. Make him go oh yes.
1:03:07
I mean the teller's filming everything.
1:03:09
Yeah. Because it's so obvious unfortunately.
1:03:11
Unbelievable. You know and I just...
1:03:15
I don't have a single dead person I have access
1:03:17
to. I just want to try it once. You will.
1:03:19
Okay if I'll give this...
1:03:22
You know what I will give the last podcast
1:03:24
network permission to use my body
1:03:26
for a bit. Is that... That's safe. Thank you. Yeah.
1:03:28
It's safe. That's safe. We are going to do that.
1:03:30
We're going to use that. That is... I'm not leaving
1:03:33
my wife about it first but yeah. Well I mean...
1:03:35
She probably won't be happy. She's already out of the...
1:03:37
You know. She'll have left me at that point. Yeah.
1:03:40
Let's face it. No because then she'll
1:03:42
get you after. Undercover Underage. Yes.
1:03:44
Undiscovery Plus. That's so weird that it just
1:03:46
came up like that actually.
1:03:49
Yeah this show is called Undercover Underage. It looks
1:03:51
like every West Coast comedy book right back there.
1:03:53
Oh my god. Yeah. It
1:03:55
does. Jordan Jensen. The Cops
1:03:57
and Rios said they've never seen anything like
1:03:59
this. Well, that's but that's one of the
1:04:01
murder capitals of the world. Yeah, dude. That's in
1:04:03
Rio de Janeiro. Yeah, that is crazy It has
1:04:06
to be absolutely insane. All right, let me do
1:04:08
we got anything else anything we want to cover?
1:04:10
I wanted to get a quick You
1:04:13
know, we got a problem here Dan. I'm sure this
1:04:15
hurts you Red Lobster is
1:04:17
Considering chapter 11 break up see now. This
1:04:19
is no shit Yeah, I'm really happy
1:04:21
that we we did if we had to
1:04:24
oh we had open death. We had
1:04:26
a corpse Yeah, but now I think it's
1:04:28
important to get to one of the main
1:04:30
stories You were gonna try to cover this
1:04:32
week was the red lobsters red lobsters going
1:04:34
away. Yeah Yeah, and it's and guess who
1:04:36
they're shifting the blame to us immigrants. No us
1:04:38
Yeah, cuz we ate too much of the endless
1:04:41
shrimp. They legitimately say America
1:04:45
has devastated Do
1:04:50
it once a week and then after COVID they had
1:04:52
to get That
1:04:54
guy like weeping And
1:04:57
we had no idea how much shrimp
1:05:01
that could eat and then One
1:05:04
man would come and he'd bring a
1:05:06
bigger man And I'm like,
1:05:08
oh he certainly won't just be and
1:05:10
then he'd be ordering the shrimp and
1:05:12
I figured well Don't you want a
1:05:14
steak man? Don't you want one of
1:05:16
our delectable pasta dishes? They
1:05:19
lost 11 million dollars in the third
1:05:21
quarter last year and shrimp Like
1:05:27
that much to me maybe I just think
1:05:29
we're fatter than we I think that
1:05:32
we're fatter and then maybe Shrimps
1:05:34
are smaller What look
1:05:36
the only thing we're gonna really admit. I mean I like
1:05:38
red lobster, but cheddar red biscuits are the only I mean
1:05:40
They're gonna sell those biscuits. Yeah. Yeah, I make sure I
1:05:42
make the cheddar biscuits at home and they make we make
1:05:44
them better I would just say
1:05:47
if you're like outback make an aggressive move to
1:05:49
get the cheddar big biscuits I said that's a
1:05:51
really good Some of
1:05:53
them or this is a good chance for sizzler
1:05:55
to put their ass back on the map. Yeah
1:05:58
sizzler should go I've
1:06:00
never been to the bubble. I'm
1:06:03
good. No, it's not. I've like
1:06:05
Lawrence a couple times. He likes going
1:06:07
there, but it's horrible He eats shrimp
1:06:09
chips You
1:06:12
know, you know guy who runs writing seminars
1:06:14
now He's
1:06:16
shrimp chips from a bag That's
1:06:19
when we knew him God,
1:06:21
but a bread lobster was kind of fine
1:06:24
though. I feel like red lobster I liked
1:06:26
my meal at red lobster more than these
1:06:28
other chains. That's why I think that sizzler
1:06:30
has an opportunity I think sizzler for
1:06:32
it bubblegum is bad out back.
1:06:34
What's wrong bubblegum out backs? Okay, the wings
1:06:37
are pretty good at out back. It was
1:06:39
surprising the capourie or couture I don't know
1:06:41
how last I will get your producer like
1:06:43
he's gonna know No, I would ask you
1:06:45
if there's one power it's delicious
1:06:47
the wings that I had there were fucking delicious
1:06:49
Yeah, last time I went to also a piece
1:06:51
of trash and I was relapsing when I had
1:06:53
those There
1:06:56
are the most understandable part of
1:06:58
it. Oh, of course. Yeah, those
1:07:00
are relapse that was the wings
1:07:02
are so good I this is
1:07:04
how it was in Detroit. I was supposed to go home
1:07:06
I got too drunk and ate the wings and I
1:07:09
just stayed another night at a motel near the air
1:07:12
My wife the next day. Yeah, why not? Let me
1:07:15
go on another rehab trip guys. I yeah Not
1:07:19
worth it is not worth it wings. It's
1:07:21
just wings Well, you're really good. They're really
1:07:23
good way More
1:07:28
dead mom stuff. We'll talk about that
1:07:31
on brighter side tomorrow Doing
1:07:34
you're gonna come do brighter side
1:07:36
stories, but you're doing with the
1:07:38
dead parents. No Yeah,
1:07:42
no, I'll I'll bring it up though, but
1:07:44
yeah the capillary capillary wings are good. Well,
1:07:47
I'm just glad they brought you back I'm
1:07:51
glad that you're here today. Dan. I'm
1:07:54
always glad to see you guys. I miss you guys. Yeah,
1:07:56
this has been great Is there anything? Oh, you gotta make
1:07:58
we got Dan a gift Oh,
1:08:00
you did? Yeah, we got you a gift, Bob. Can
1:08:02
you- I said no gifts. Yeah, we got
1:08:04
you a gift. We got you a gift. Here
1:08:06
you go. This is for you. I
1:08:08
hope you like it. I hope you like
1:08:10
it. This is my dad's movie. His father
1:08:13
wrote the film, the new
1:08:15
film, Freud's Last Session. And we
1:08:17
got Dan a sign
1:08:20
of us signing. We signed Marcus Ed and
1:08:22
I signed a poster for your father. True
1:08:29
Father's Film for you. I want to give this to
1:08:31
my- Dan's
1:08:33
father wrote Freud's Last Session. It was in the
1:08:35
theater. He's a little bit- He's a little bit
1:08:37
bummed out because it was more of a bomb
1:08:40
than he thought. So now I don't
1:08:42
think we giving him this poster is going to help.
1:08:46
No, but my
1:08:48
carny friend signed
1:08:51
it because they got it clearly for free
1:08:53
in some package. Yeah, it was- If you're
1:08:55
giving it away, it's a movie theater when
1:08:57
I went. That's one of the great- He
1:09:00
stole it from the trash. So like that origin story
1:09:02
is going to depress the fuck out of him. This
1:09:06
is amazing. I think he was still playing. Hey,
1:09:11
check it out now, Freud's Last. Great play.
1:09:14
You know, like the great, great play and they
1:09:16
adapted it, you know, but
1:09:18
it is, I think Amazon, you can
1:09:20
rent it. Apparently Anthony Hopkins is fine.
1:09:23
Hey, Anthony Hopkins. Yeah, he can't be good
1:09:25
to- Yeah, he can't see Hopkins. Yeah, he
1:09:27
does his job. Did your dad get to
1:09:30
meet Anthony Hopkins? Yes. Well, at least there's
1:09:32
that. They softly kiss. No. He
1:09:36
did meet Anthony Hopkins. Yeah,
1:09:39
my dad, I don't know how I became
1:09:42
such a fucking low rent
1:09:44
art form. No, comedy, have
1:09:46
you not seen the internet?
1:09:48
Comedy is the most important art form
1:09:50
that there's ever been. We are the
1:09:53
only ones speaking truth to power. We're
1:09:55
the only ones saying the right stuff
1:09:57
about vaccines, about race and gender issues.
1:10:00
I don't know about you guys I get more
1:10:02
news from the Daily Show than I do the real
1:10:04
news I
1:10:08
don't even have any honestly. I don't
1:10:10
even need these letters. We'll do the we'll do letters
1:10:13
next week All right, I am the only letter I
1:10:15
have it's like it's fun. It's actually all right. You
1:10:17
know I'll do this one last letter for Dan Okay, well
1:10:19
my you know I just just just prove I have like
1:10:21
time to kill before my dinner And I just want to
1:10:23
hang out with you guys And
1:10:26
I also want to get a higher approval rating than
1:10:28
hold it Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, we need it But
1:10:30
yeah, let us know how Dan did if you're paired
1:10:33
to Holden specifically You have if you have us if
1:10:35
one of them had to come back would you rather
1:10:37
be Dan or hold I already know the answer Hey,
1:10:42
hold it got a 53% is a Biden win we talked
1:10:47
We'll be announcing it on Holden's podcast
1:10:51
Here's a one horrible letter. I'll get your response on this
1:10:53
all right. I love your episodes
1:10:56
on Herb Baumeister great Well my
1:10:58
dad who was a big tall man from New York
1:11:00
He had been married twice and had four kids no
1:11:02
one knew a secret Apparently my 52
1:11:04
year old dad likes to wear women's clothing
1:11:07
and participate in BDSM on
1:11:09
Halloween night 2000 he's not the same thing
1:11:11
no no no no no no on Hollywood
1:11:13
night 2000 he put on a contraption
1:11:15
that would lock his hands under his knees so he
1:11:17
could jack off all while choking himself the
1:11:20
next morning he had and showed up to his office which
1:11:22
he owned and ran a Family member went in
1:11:24
and found my dad dead in a face that was pitch-black
1:11:27
Still in that contraption come to find out that when
1:11:29
you exphyxiate your face turns a black comes due to
1:11:31
the lack of oxygen Upon
1:11:34
searching his house they found other items women's clothes
1:11:36
and whatnot and the worst of all was that
1:11:38
my family had an open Casket and there wasn't
1:11:40
enough makeup in the world to make him look
1:11:42
normal his death certificate list the cause of death
1:11:44
is autorotic desiciation Now
1:11:54
that I know this you need to know this Can't
1:11:57
be the only one who lives with this for the rest of
1:11:59
my life. Yeah I had died from
1:12:01
blood That's
1:12:04
the one that's actually the only time you can get
1:12:06
away with black things Sparkly
1:12:16
that should have been the cover If
1:12:20
you're not laughing you're crying by the by the
1:12:22
way I will say I did talk about this
1:12:24
on one podcast But I feel like you
1:12:26
guys are the ones that I really should bring it up to I Did
1:12:29
start wearing two years ago while I was on
1:12:31
the road women's underwear Older
1:12:34
women's underwear. Yeah over 55
1:12:36
because I find I have
1:12:38
a very large ball sack My dick is
1:12:41
very mediocre, but I have a very large
1:12:43
ball sack Me too and I don't if
1:12:45
you have a large ball sack It has
1:12:47
the same dimensions as it was an older
1:12:49
woman's outie pussy so Boxes
1:12:53
where were you? Before
1:12:55
you were a normal box you for Day-to-day
1:12:58
roommates. He's seen a lot of my
1:13:00
grundle before but I Know
1:13:04
what you're working with Oh like mrs. Doubtfire underwear
1:13:06
is the way to go dude. Really? Yeah Great
1:13:15
Not fooling around with your lady that night Cuz
1:13:17
like I've taken that like my Sarah's been into it
1:13:19
and I've taken it off and she's seen him I'm
1:13:21
good. Yeah, is she not do your
1:13:24
laundry? Not
1:13:26
anymore I
1:13:28
do each other's laundry. So it's like I
1:13:30
couldn't have only never trust me with her
1:13:32
laundry. Oh, really? Oh, yeah, why would any
1:13:34
absolutely she would never trust me Julie trusts
1:13:36
you with her clothes Oh great at it. I
1:13:39
could fold I could I had to do chores
1:13:41
when I was a kid Yeah, I wash clothes,
1:13:44
but I don't wash it Natalie special clothes. It's
1:13:46
her special clothes. She's special clothes Yeah, well she
1:13:48
does that weird clothes. Which is the panties. I
1:13:50
don't wash panties Everything
1:13:52
don't put it in the dryer Anything
1:13:55
yeah, you gotta read the labels. Well,
1:13:57
you know, there's actually incredible advice. Yeah
1:14:00
I actually didn't I mean, okay, I love my Tommy
1:14:02
John. I'll say this if you get a nice air
1:14:04
condition You know like just
1:14:06
is there a brand you like I
1:14:08
just got the bloomers that were they were women's
1:14:10
Haynes I believe I believe not
1:14:12
even going for upper level. I'm not even
1:14:14
going for jokes on this. I'm just giving Thank
1:14:18
you. What about your legs? Are you get chased
1:14:20
your big guy? Thanks,
1:14:22
Ed. No, I'm just joking Thinking
1:14:24
about me no, they didn't shave at
1:14:27
all. It's just it's just a nice like well
1:14:29
I'm not these are these are two for too
1:14:31
young I'm
1:14:35
talking about but no, I'm just I
1:14:37
really don't care bloomers. I'm talking about
1:14:40
bloomers like Google bloomers Bloomers
1:14:43
yeah, I've seen bloomers So
1:14:47
it's something like Mary Todd Lincoln, but
1:14:49
like flowery can you flower that's cool
1:14:51
closer is to those there
1:14:53
But flowery bloomers, that's what
1:14:55
I've been I've been wearing. Well. I know what
1:14:58
I'm getting Eddie for his birthday No, I mean,
1:15:00
it's a nice. You know it's it's you know
1:15:02
I appreciate you have an outie pussy or big
1:15:04
balls That's incredible your balls don't go on the
1:15:06
other sides of the thing like like Open
1:15:09
ears I mean like If
1:15:11
I'm like shooting you know like if I need it like
1:15:13
for stand-up I want but if it's a night in and
1:15:15
I just needed to breathe then I
1:15:17
wear women's underwear Yeah, I just wear you
1:15:19
this what you do no judgment now mine's
1:15:21
a little bit. Yeah I bet that's Benjamin
1:15:24
friend. You're playing play boy. Yeah That
1:15:27
is that's Lolita bloomers for
1:15:29
women anything that says Lolita you
1:15:32
are not allowed to purchase Grumpy
1:15:38
asshole Nothing
1:15:42
with a cute name cranberry by
1:15:44
bottom Well, this
1:15:46
has been incredible incredible episode. Thank you
1:15:48
guys for being here today Go to
1:15:50
patreon.com/slash podcast unless if you if you
1:15:52
want to check out all the other
1:15:55
Stuff that we do if you want to see your bodies if you
1:15:57
want to see you behind the scenes when you're there But a tick-tock
1:15:59
at LPL on the left.com. I don't know what it'll be on
1:16:01
the left, whenever it is. TikTok, it's gonna
1:16:03
be gone soon. Then we
1:16:06
go see, then we are going to last podcast on the
1:16:08
left.com. We are going back on tour. And so for those
1:16:11
of you that don't know, there are some of you, I'm
1:16:13
sorry, you're part of the plug section. Oh yeah, for sure
1:16:15
buddy. For sure. So this week
1:16:17
we are doing, and those of you,
1:16:19
I think we have another Patreon, and
1:16:21
we also might release some tickets,
1:16:23
but I don't think we are, I don't know yet. Thursday
1:16:25
and Friday, we are doing our full on, we are writing
1:16:28
our show in front of people. Our
1:16:30
last podcast on the left live show. We
1:16:32
are doing that Thursday and Friday at the
1:16:34
Sirius XM Garage. That's on, if you can. You
1:16:36
are writing it in front, like people are
1:16:38
watching your process. We come up with material,
1:16:40
like we've done this every tour, and then
1:16:42
what we do is, we kind
1:16:44
of like, the first couple of
1:16:46
shows we'll do with no specific
1:16:48
material, we just improv, and then we go from
1:16:50
there. And then we'll go and cobble
1:16:52
it together, and write it after. So
1:16:55
I'm excited. I think it's going to be
1:16:57
fun, you can come see us, and we're really going to be working shit out,
1:16:59
so it's going to be pretty good. And we're going to have to, because Denver's
1:17:01
almost sold out. What are you going to have to do with your show? What
1:17:03
are you guys doing? Yeah, show is coming. Also
1:17:05
this week, I'm going to be on page seven,
1:17:08
so check that out. I'm sitting in for MJ
1:17:10
this week. Oh great. Yeah,
1:17:12
and so I'll be there, and then also Dan is
1:17:14
going to be on Brighter Side Stories. I'm excited. You
1:17:16
guys, the next Denver show, I know you already have
1:17:19
the venue now, but the next one you guys should do
1:17:22
in the underground Denver airport. You
1:17:25
guys have to do it. They're just so, it's
1:17:27
the same thing. Have you ever stayed at the
1:17:30
Watergate in DC? Yeah, they're not. They
1:17:32
like lean in. Also they smell us when
1:17:34
we come in. Oh yeah. They're like, yeah,
1:17:36
you liked it. Put it in the other
1:17:38
room. I want to do it on the
1:17:40
Ramses front yard. There you go. That's
1:17:42
what we'll be doing our follow-up meet and greet over
1:17:45
at the John Monet Ramsey home. So
1:17:47
we'll see you there. Triple
1:17:52
L baby. You know,
1:17:54
live every day. No
1:17:56
one was good for your balls. You be the
1:17:58
arbiter of what's good for your balls. balls and let
1:18:00
everybody tell you what's good for your balls and you
1:18:02
know love the fact that you wear women's underwear but
1:18:04
it's not even about anything it's about comfort. No or
1:18:07
an outie pussy. It's for balls or an outie pussy.
1:18:09
And then laugh especially if you have a big gaping
1:18:11
outie pussy then you have something that can hold it.
1:18:15
Dance fatty dance. Dance fatty dance. I don't
1:18:17
know why I start screaming my plug. Dance
1:18:20
fatty dance is the special on YouTube
1:18:22
please check it out. I also have
1:18:24
a wrestling podcast working stiff and
1:18:26
soon which maybe I'll come back in a year for
1:18:28
this. But not only are going to do a
1:18:31
new podcast we haven't discovered exactly what
1:18:33
it is yet. I want to see Don is Shawn
1:18:35
too. I did have
1:18:37
a horror movie broadcast for like 16 weeks
1:18:39
and then had to end it because of
1:18:41
rehab. But that show was really fun.
1:18:44
But like this is I will be having
1:18:46
a new comedy podcast with Shawn Donnelly coming
1:18:48
out but if you like pro wrestling check
1:18:50
that out. Please please goddamn watch my special
1:18:53
and if and if you like wrestling pray
1:18:55
for me and me and Dan Soder's peacock
1:18:57
show to go. I'll
1:18:59
do it. I'll do it. I'll
1:19:01
come on. Everyone. Chris is a
1:19:04
millionaire. Don't listen. He's going to be
1:19:06
fine. He's going to be fine. Just please please check out
1:19:08
the special. But this is fun and please remind Holden that
1:19:10
I was a better guest. Oh
1:19:20
we will. On Twitter. We
1:19:23
will most certainly do it. Bye bye fuckers. Tell
1:19:26
Satan. This
1:19:30
show is made possible by listeners like you.
1:19:32
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