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0:57

Hello! Ed Larson

0:59

and Amber Nelson from the Brighter Side here to check in

1:01

with you to see how you're doing. Is your

1:03

day more disappointing than a gas station

1:05

sandwich? Are you trying to put one

1:07

foot in front of the other in a glue factory? Did

1:10

you try to throw your air fryer in the

1:12

bathtub but nothing happened because you were too lazy

1:14

to plug it in first? Then

1:16

the Brighter Side podcast is

1:19

for you! Oh yeah! Each

1:22

week we take nasty,

1:24

dooky, stupid, dumb, stinky,

1:26

no good, doo-doo factories, boo,

1:28

kaka-like topics, and try to

1:30

find the Brighter Side. Hey,

1:33

Amber, what's the Brighter Side

1:35

of waking up chained to a bed in

1:37

Russia? Um, at least they have free healthcare.

1:39

That's right! So start your

1:42

weekend off right every Friday with the

1:44

Brighter Side on the last podcast network. You

1:46

beautiful babies. There's

1:53

no place to escape to this is

1:55

the last on the left. That's

2:01

when the cannibalism started. Side

2:04

stories. Yes. Lose

2:12

that stride. You can lose that stride. Is

2:14

where we got to, we got to dig deep. We

2:17

got to dig deep. Or you look

2:20

at me. Is this the

2:22

beginning? You looking at my back, boy. I'm

2:24

trying to cut all the way through this

2:28

jungle. Looking

2:30

at my back. Filling

2:33

the steps I take in the mud.

2:36

That's what you do, Eddie. That's what I

2:38

do. Come behind me. I

2:40

cut you down and I get in the

2:42

mud. Maybe

2:45

I was just trying to smoke your head. What's

2:47

going on? Why did you, your, is this a,

2:49

this your new Easter? What's going on here with

2:51

your head? Oh, you're talking about dyeing my hair.

2:53

You dyed your hair. A couple

2:55

of calls. Yeah. It's called a middle life

2:57

crisis. Midlife crisis in a way, but I'm

2:59

not there yet. I'm still not saying 40s

3:01

middle. No, I think I'm gonna make

3:03

it to a solid 92. Oh,

3:06

you think you're going to make it to 92? Yeah,

3:08

because I'm going to be mostly robot. I'm

3:10

going to be replaced as much

3:12

as humanly possible with exoskeletons, anything

3:14

that I can science wise. It

3:17

bets allowed. I mean, I

3:19

got a feeling you could do huge new tits. Oh,

3:23

that's something to live for. See the thing

3:25

is, first off, first correction I'm making. Gonna

3:27

add some top meat to these breasts, right?

3:29

So I can get some benefactor round them

3:32

a little bit. Oh, round them. No, they

3:34

need rounding. And then like, then I can

3:36

get a benefactor that will pay for all

3:38

of the other things for me to get

3:40

robot legs, robot hands, robot. You are the

3:43

benefactor. I know, but then at first I'm

3:45

sucking this guy's dick. I'm having crazy sex

3:47

with him. I'm fucking giving him. Obviously the

3:49

goal is you give me new breasts. I

3:52

give you a titty fuck anytime you ask,

3:54

right? Because that's the arrangement and I will

3:56

do that for him. Right. Over and over

3:58

and over again until then, I'm obviously mostly.

4:00

robotic then I kill him and take

4:03

over his home. All right this

4:05

is a plan Eddie and that's why

4:07

I dyed my hair. Oh no I

4:09

dyed my hair because I as

4:11

I'm giving a New Orleans funeral to

4:13

the rest of my hairs. Oh

4:16

is that what's going on? They're dying

4:19

and so I'm gonna party my way

4:21

as they as the hairs jump from

4:24

the front of my head to the

4:26

top of my asshole. I'm

4:28

trying to look at how much breast

4:30

implants cost for a man. I

4:32

mean I think that there's only 4500. You

4:35

could do this on your own you don't need this other guy. Yeah

4:37

I can put that on credit I can put those on layaway. Yeah

4:39

I think you can get one and then

4:42

get the other later on. You

4:44

can get them both at once. I'm just saying I'm

4:46

not gonna kind of drop it I want to see

4:48

how one works how one feels. I

4:50

wonder if you can get a temp. That

4:52

would be great. Honestly I should just wear a

4:54

bra. Get a bra with

4:56

two fake boobies glue

4:59

them to yourself. Shave

5:01

your breasts first of course you're gonna have to shave

5:03

them. Unfortunately that's why I don't think this is gonna

5:05

work because if you try to titty fuck someone it

5:07

could start a fire. The thing is also if you

5:09

shave my tits now right they

5:12

just look like breasts. Yeah I

5:14

wouldn't need. You might not need this surgery. Welcome

5:17

to Side Stories my name is Henry Zabrowski

5:19

I'm sitting here with Ed Larson. I don't

5:22

know I'm just saying I would like I'm

5:24

looking for investors in me. And

5:27

so anybody that wants to kind of come and set

5:29

up shop in here this is a fixer upper all

5:31

right I got a bad thumb this has got to

5:33

be replaced my fucking shoulders

5:35

hurting me all right honestly I'm

5:38

permanently hard. Really?

5:40

Maybe that could be your new thumb. Honestly it's

5:42

really hurting my it's hurting because it's rubbing against

5:45

my zipper. Oh and you can't jerk off because

5:47

your jerk off hand is out of commission. Look

5:49

at this I've been having to use my fucking

5:51

I've been having to use the couch. Really?

5:54

Yeah. That's one hot couch.

5:57

Get that thing fake breasts. Imagine

5:59

that. how wonderful that would be right on

6:01

the arm chairs. You can just sleep on them

6:03

all day. That's fucking an awesome idea. You

6:05

could just stick your face in between them

6:07

as you're sleeping. Yeah. It's like, Oh, what's that

6:10

honey? Take out the trash. Maybe I'll just

6:12

sit here and man.

6:16

Wow, dude. That's the fucking fuck

6:18

all this. Take T. M.

6:20

R. With a circle. We're putting

6:22

that down there. Fake. This is

6:24

the couch. That's

6:27

incredible. Yes. Couch sits.org. Oh my

6:30

God. Natalie's never going to see

6:32

me again. Oh

6:34

wow. Side stories is crushing it

6:36

this week. Already we're coming up

6:38

with new stuff. Got a

6:40

lot of stuff to get to today. First of all, can

6:42

I just say something real quick? We can

6:44

go pass it. You're allowed to talk as much as you want and

6:46

as long as you want. I would like to give a nice

6:50

congratulations to the Florida

6:52

Panthers for winning the Stanley cup first

6:55

time ever. Miami is one

6:57

hockey and I'm very happy for them. That

6:59

is all. I just wanted to say I

7:01

love you Panthers. He's allowed to have this

7:03

male moment. I didn't even watch a second

7:06

of hockey this year. I'm just happy they

7:08

won. This is Florida love. This isn't even

7:10

hockey. Love your last. I can be honest.

7:13

Fuck hockey. Wow. Yeah. I don't even care

7:15

about hockey. I don't give a shit about

7:17

how does this help Florida? How does this

7:19

help? Does it help? How does it help

7:21

them? How do we mean? They already dropped

7:23

the Stanley cup in the ocean. It's

7:26

not even 24 hours since they won.

7:28

They don't play football. They

7:31

would have dropped a ball. I don't know,

7:33

man. Well, great. Honestly, congrats, Florida Panthers. Go

7:36

get them. Go buck yourself. Go. You go out

7:38

there and you go. I hope that you slap

7:40

those pucks around. They

7:42

just threw it in the ocean. That is the single dumbest thing

7:46

I've ever

7:48

seen. That's very stupid. Can I

7:50

take what he said back? Congrats

7:53

fellas. I love you very much. Do they all

7:56

drink out of it and piss and shit in

7:58

it? You know what? I don't even. even know

8:00

any of their names. Yeah. God knows. Yeah. That's

8:02

like, yeah, it's like Slobodan Malenkovich and then you

8:04

got the other guy. I keep saying that. There's

8:06

another one over there. Yeah. They're all chitched in.

8:08

There's a government and be like, I'm just happy

8:10

to say, wow. Yeah. They just threw it in

8:12

the water. That's a really stupid fucking ocean. That's

8:16

why Florida doesn't have a nice thing.

8:18

That's why they are going to end

8:20

up becoming the Atlanta Panthers is

8:23

what is going to happen. All right, boys.

8:25

Good work. Thank you for bringing it back

8:27

to Miami. We're bringing it to Miami. Good

8:29

work guys. Now I covered

8:31

the Karen Reed trial clumsily

8:34

last week and I did make one, an

8:37

actual mistake. Now the really is why I'm

8:39

bringing up is because we are now in

8:41

the middle of the verdict. Like they're doing

8:43

the verdict finding area right now. It could

8:45

be a lot of times episode. Honestly, it's

8:48

what's going to happen by the time this

8:50

episode is going to happen. We're going to

8:52

know whether or not she is innocent or

8:54

guilty, but I have got a really good,

8:56

the main correction I wanted to give was

8:58

that it wasn't Karen Reed that texted has

9:00

long to die in the cold. That is

9:02

what I thought. And I was confused because

9:05

I'd listened to a lot of coverage. I

9:07

did listen to hours of coverage, but I,

9:09

so she didn't write that. No, I was,

9:11

that's why I that, but honestly, that's why

9:13

I was confused. I was like, why is

9:15

there an even issue here? So it was

9:17

written by Jennifer McCabe, who was a friend

9:19

of the Albert family, which were the guys

9:21

that own that house that no one came

9:24

out or was interviewed in or like the

9:26

idea of where the mysterious party happened with

9:28

the big connections to the boss. Yes. It's

9:31

a very big fuck up. Yes,

9:35

it is. So, but that's why I

9:37

don't normally do this. So, so she's

9:40

gotta be innocent. I,

9:42

there's a lot there, but the key is,

9:44

is that she was very, very

9:47

intoxicated. Oh, they're saying a little bit is

9:49

that we don't know. Could be a group

9:51

murder that we're saying we don't know what

9:53

happened. And then also the weird stuff about

9:55

the text to change between

9:57

the Albert family. There's a guy that owned the house. that

10:00

one of the uncles told everyone to

10:02

say that the guy never went into

10:04

the house. Brian Albert, cop house owner,

10:06

replies, exactly. For two years, Brian's son

10:09

Colin, a known hot head, was kept

10:11

off of witness reports. After texts between

10:13

him and his sister proved he was

10:15

there that night, he started to appear

10:17

back in the statements, which is also

10:19

interesting. Also she was sending weird, flirty

10:22

Texas Karen Reed to another one of

10:24

his buddies, John O'Keefe, one of the

10:26

men that was murdered in this instance.

10:29

It's really weird, it's very complicated, but that

10:31

was the main fact. Everything else I was fine

10:33

on. But I just got that one

10:35

fact wrong. No, no, I'm glad you corrected you. I tried to

10:37

look at me. I'm just

10:40

this incredible, present,

10:43

moisturized, so moist. My

10:47

head's on a swivel and I'm just so... I'm

10:50

here and you're blessed to have me. You

10:53

look horrible. I'm

10:56

supposed to be working on my self

10:58

esteem. Oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. You

11:00

look fine. It's

11:04

the immediate correction that's worse. The

11:06

immediate correction actually doesn't make me feel better. Now

11:08

this is a... You look

11:10

like you celebrate Feaster instead of Easter time.

11:15

This is called the... The hair dye

11:17

is literally just trying to feel something. All

11:20

right, I'm just trying to feel something, trying to

11:22

feel inspired, trying to feel full energy. You

11:24

know what? I went

11:26

down to Melrose with Jackie to go for Good

11:28

Pud costume shopping. So we would go look like

11:30

dumb stuff for costume shopping. And

11:32

normally when I'm on Melrose Avenue

11:34

in Los Angeles, I'm treated

11:37

like a narcotics officer. They

11:40

view me, they look at me and

11:42

they imagine I'm here to tell everyone

11:44

that they're all on double secret probation.

11:46

Yeah, just disguised as a Satanist. Yes,

11:49

they have no idea that they do.

11:51

There's just something about my aura. Again,

11:53

it's the Zabrowski coming through with the

11:55

Henry Senior face that it's coming through.

11:58

But when I had the hair dyed, people said hello. Really

12:00

people said they people like offered they're like, oh you

12:02

should check out this thing And it was like, you

12:04

know It was some outfit that a hole for the

12:07

dick for it and I was like, thank you for

12:09

thinking I want that Yeah, you don't like

12:11

that's so nice of you to think that I'm a

12:14

full deviant because that means I'm

12:16

young I'm like euphoria

12:18

me this is me Henry Zebrowski euphoria

12:21

Henry Zebrowski. Oh, my nipples are

12:23

out. It's so cold in here I need heroin. You

12:25

know, I'm good. I gotta go to math class When

12:28

people said your hair was died, they meant like it was

12:30

dead It

12:33

is still there you notice there's more hair than

12:35

there was no you look great you look great

12:37

I just it's like literally my job to make

12:39

fun of you. Is it is it Rob? It

12:41

looks great Well, you don't you were biased you're

12:43

forced. Yeah I do

12:45

actually like it against all odds. Yeah, I

12:47

know But

12:50

I stand here stronger than I was yesterday Stronger

12:53

than yesterday No,

12:55

we have one last little piece of information about

12:57

the Caronade trial is there. Oh, there's more updates

12:59

There's one little thing is that this is really

13:02

what they talked about So we talked a little

13:04

bit about the discrepancy about the broken tail light

13:06

on this car because they're talking about that the

13:08

reason why That they think

13:10

that he was struck and killed was because

13:13

they have this like broken tail light But

13:15

the problem was is that they didn't find

13:17

the glass Until days later

13:19

and they had to dig it out from

13:21

under the snow and it was super sketch

13:23

and then there was one police officer that

13:25

said that they believed in previous material filmed

13:27

outside of The home the Karen Reed home

13:29

they'd saw that the SUV had a cracked

13:32

tail light already now This is where they

13:34

did a commonwealth of Massachusetts They had presented

13:36

a video in court Showing the seizure and

13:38

control of Karen Reed's vehicle vehicle that could

13:40

claim that to hit O'Keeffe and it shows

13:42

trooper Proctor Who's the head of the entire

13:44

investigation? He's the one that was texting all

13:46

the mean shit about Karen Reed to all

13:48

the rest of his guys Um, he

13:51

said he never went near the damaged tail light

13:53

instead They claimed he was on the other side

13:55

of the car investigating the other undamaged tail light.

13:57

It wasn't until a day later that

14:00

it's find out that the fucking video

14:02

was inverted. So the president, they

14:05

literally like, they fucked it up. The defense is,

14:07

the detectives agree it was inverted and claim they

14:09

didn't feel the need to present it as it

14:11

was the proper way. So like basically it showed

14:13

that they were, he was looking at the wrong

14:16

side of the car. This

14:18

dude's fucked. I mean, you know, I, Karen

14:20

Reed, we'll see what comes out of this, but

14:23

it is very, it is one of the most

14:25

compelling pieces about the idea of a like, of

14:27

a trial based upon police corruption that I've seen

14:29

in a while. Who knows? Let's

14:31

see what comes out of it. So yeah, that was my

14:34

main huge fuck up. All right. For

14:36

the weekend. I feel like I could have done much worse. You're allowed to

14:38

correct. You know what? You're allowed to be wrong.

14:40

This isn't news. You're right. You

14:42

know? You're right. But you people get their information

14:44

from me. That's for, first of all,

14:46

anyone getting your information from Henry, I

14:48

don't know, you might as well get your information from a

14:51

dog on the side of the road. Speaking of a dog on the side

14:53

of the road, let's

14:56

cut into this first news story. This

14:58

is pretty horrible. Yeah.

15:00

Yeah. You did this. Oh,

15:02

so we, um, yeah. He's nice. Do

15:08

you like bang bus? Do we do trigger warnings

15:10

or? Tigger warning. There's

15:12

no tigers in the story. I

15:14

was not a big bang bus person because I hate

15:16

leaving the woman behind on the road. Was there ever

15:19

a bus? Yeah. Okay.

15:22

I thought it was like a car. Well, I think it was a van.

15:24

I think it was a van. Yeah, but it was the bang bus, but

15:26

yeah, but I always felt sad when they left the woman. Yeah.

15:28

I mean, that would be nice. That would have

15:31

been better. Or how about the love bug? Like

15:33

her being, have sex in the VW bug, right?

15:35

Yes. We know what bang buses Rob. He has

15:37

pulled up the many images of the bang bus.

15:39

I know. Oh, that's what that

15:41

is. Now, but what

15:43

if I told you there was a bus full of

15:45

animals you could have sex with? I'd

15:48

say you're a monster. So the

15:50

Adams County SPCA rescues animals being

15:52

used for bestiality from a tailor

15:54

towed by a bus. Now, the

15:56

reason why I'm even covering this

15:58

story is that it's gross. but

16:00

mostly just because it's a tragic

16:03

bus. It's a tragic bus.

16:05

Now this guy, is that

16:08

the cartoon? Good, this is a

16:10

tragic bus. This

16:12

guy, Sean Hirschbein, love

16:15

this guy. He is living a

16:17

nomadic-like existence inside of this bus. Now it's

16:19

a yellow school bus and with a makeshift

16:21

trailer attached to the back of it. Now

16:23

it was found in a highway pull-off in

16:25

Adams County last week. This is in Pennsylvania.

16:30

What a great state. And if

16:32

you look at, I love Ella Pittsburgh, I love Philly,

16:34

we know we do. Also we're coming live to Philly,

16:36

but I think that show is sold out, so it

16:38

doesn't even matter. Yeah, unless they can't even

16:40

get their money back, can they? No, they're screwed. So

16:43

we'll see in Philly, it's gonna be fun. But

16:45

this guy, he had this bus in, they

16:47

were investigating this broke-down bus on the side

16:49

of the road. Now, what this guy, Sean

16:51

Hirschbein did is that he'd scrawled his phone

16:54

number on the sides of this bus

16:56

so he could be easily available to get to,

16:58

because he said he lived with animals and

17:01

he said that what he does is 24-hour tires and

17:04

animal shows. So he

17:06

could do an animal show with as many, many

17:08

chickens. So the whole inside of the bus was

17:10

filled with an entire, I am

17:12

going to say, chicken tenement house. It's

17:15

all chickens. It's all chickens and roosters.

17:17

It's absolutely jam-packed with chicken shit. It

17:19

looks absolutely horrifying. We're looking at pictures

17:21

right now. There was a trailer attached

17:23

with that and a horse and several

17:25

dogs in the back of this trailer.

17:27

Now, people, when you go and you

17:29

look up the number, Sean Hirschbein's number, we don't have it

17:31

here, I believe it's 8675 309. He

17:37

scrawled his phone number. Apparently

17:40

the number went to various adult-oriented

17:42

websites where it showed that Sean

17:44

Hirschbein is a fairly, if

17:47

not popular, but self-confident male sex worker.

17:49

So hold on, you call the number

17:51

and it goes to a website? Well,

17:53

the idea of the website was, the

17:55

number was connected to a bunch of

17:57

websites and a bunch of escort websites.

18:00

for this man. But it

18:02

was a male escorts, right? Yes. Yes.

18:04

It was male escorts. Um, now he's

18:06

the escort. He whoop. Now

18:10

he was working with a working with is a

18:12

I'm gonna say that Loosely, he

18:15

was one of his co-writers was someone named Deanna

18:17

Huff. Now It seems like he was slowly but

18:19

surely grooming this 15 year old girl That's kind

18:21

of where all these things kind of came from

18:23

and he sent to her a bunch of pictures

18:25

Which is again if you I

18:27

don't recommend flirting with a 15 year old

18:30

girl if you're not 15 years old as well But

18:32

I would say that if you're not don't send a

18:34

bunch of pictures of a guy sucking horse dick No,

18:36

because it's like I would say BTS tickets. I Would

18:40

say something like you know, you

18:42

go see Go don't

18:44

talk to men on the internet go home. I

18:47

think is a good thing to write to them. Yeah, you're

18:50

right Hey, you

18:52

want to go see if with everyone's favorite Ryan

18:54

Reynolds with me Yeah, right again great But again,

18:56

but if you were to ask a child on

18:59

a date you take him to see if with

19:01

Ryan Reynolds and he's even said that Yeah, Ryan

19:03

Reynolds loves that. Yeah, and so he's like bring

19:05

the children to my movie. So you got to

19:07

yeah Be it like make sure they're not your

19:09

children I

19:12

saw that it was weird He's gonna put in the middle

19:14

of a mint mobile ad or he said something about he's

19:16

like find a kid bring it to if yeah Yeah,

19:19

yeah, we have to do a mint mobile ad

19:21

in a little bit we love them we

19:23

love Love

19:26

Ryan Reynolds, I love the movie I'm

19:28

just saying it was a suggestion that he made and I

19:30

don't think that's it's got nothing to do with mint mobile

19:33

He's just the owner of it and the main advertiser

19:35

for it now So

19:44

It was bad right so yeah, no, but

19:46

so what were the dogs and the horses

19:48

doing in that trailer behind the school bus?

19:51

I believe they were putting makeup on and

19:53

getting dressed now I'm passing motorists noticed Hirschbein

19:55

50 and his traveling companion huff. They were

19:57

broken down Oxford Township now This is all

19:59

according to pay 10live.com. They

20:01

found the bus. Oh,

20:04

there's the phone number. I can't read it. There's the phone

20:06

number. Yes. 716. So we

20:09

go looking up. Oh, great. 716-428.

20:13

We will probably have to bleep that out, but

20:16

it's in the 716 area code. If you're

20:18

curious. Yeah. You can go check that out.

20:21

Right. So the cops went in there and it

20:23

was really bad, right? They went inside the bus.

20:25

They went inside the trailer. They saw the fact

20:27

that had four dogs, a horse and a bull,

20:29

right? The bedding everywhere and is really bad. They

20:31

then went realize that he was using this app

20:33

called Tex now speaking to this juvenile. All this

20:35

shit was going. It's just really

20:37

the long and short of this story is

20:39

this man had a mobile and you said

20:42

a bad term, but I'm going to say

20:44

out of respect for the animals, a brothel

20:46

that he was driving back and forth. What did

20:49

I say? A whore house. I

20:51

don't think I said it. Sounds like you said it. And

20:55

I said, that was disrespectful. That was disrespectful.

20:58

I said, all right, bore house. Yeah. Boar

21:00

house is cute. Yeah. Did you say no?

21:05

No, they went and it's just not good. I do

21:07

really want to talk about it. They went, they brought

21:09

the animals in, they checked them for signs of abuse.

21:11

They all had it. None of them was good. It's

21:13

just the, it turns out the way they were getting

21:15

all of the animals too. So they just went on

21:17

a Facebook marketplace and anybody had an animal to get

21:19

rid of, they would just pick up. And

21:21

so they've been using this as a sort of

21:24

loose animal modeling agency

21:26

for a period of time. And it

21:29

looks like business is about to be

21:31

closed. Now it's crazy because

21:33

who were his

21:36

customers? People in the 7 1 6

21:38

area. That's, but that's not, uh,

21:40

first of all, he was arrested in West Virginia

21:42

and he was doing it

21:44

in Pennsylvania. This is a part of

21:46

the reason why this is actually a

21:48

very complicated case. Buffalo. That was where

21:51

he was originally located because he did

21:53

move and his girlfriend. That's

21:57

funny. That's really, they're

21:59

endangered. And that's unfortunate

22:02

But the the story it's

22:04

it's very complicated. That's I'd say like

22:07

go read it on your own You'd

22:09

love this he moved back and forth

22:11

across the country often this man has

22:13

been doing crimes Sex-based

22:15

crimes for a very long time and he's

22:17

been arrested several times He's done

22:19

this back and forth and one of them

22:21

thing that is extremely It's extremely difficult to

22:24

figure out how to catch somebody who's done

22:26

a bunch of different crimes in like four

22:28

different states Over a very short

22:30

period of time and he's traveling anonymously in

22:32

a giant bus that is barely that he

22:34

it is now It's registered to him in

22:37

Georgia, but he had sold that he

22:39

bought back like it's like all this kind of shit

22:41

So it's like that's one thing I don't want it's

22:43

like you bought the bus after was used as the

22:45

quote-unquote Bestiality bus and then what

22:47

you took a bunch of blind kids to

22:49

the park I mean, it's definitely you get

22:51

a discount. I don't know if

22:53

they did Yeah, you're gonna remodel it because

22:55

you have all these blankets being like what's that

22:57

smell nothing? What's that

22:59

sound? No, that's a my animal

23:02

sound pack Is

23:09

a regular heel Cassidy Neil

23:12

Cassidy, you know Cassidy the bus

23:14

further electric Yes, who laid acid

23:16

and heel as a dog's heel

23:19

heels are Wow I'm

23:23

so glad we did this store get on the bus. Yeah,

23:25

they gave the dog a bus Yeah, they gave the

23:27

dogs rape kits and they found

23:30

out that their vulvas were that's what I was gonna

23:32

skip I feel like that's

23:34

the kind of information that people expect

23:36

to hear on side stories Well, I'll tell you what

23:38

my wrote it in the paper.

23:40

I know if pen

23:42

live the Patriot news Decided

23:46

they want to do this. Yes.

23:48

Yeah, exactly. I oh my Yeah,

23:52

I'm gonna tell you what my vulvas are just swollen

23:54

thinking about it So it's

23:56

really bad. I call it the worst thing to

23:58

ever happen in Gettysburg All

24:03

the ghosts of the Civil War men just

24:05

like sitting there all the years like, do

24:07

you do that? And they're

24:09

just sitting there like smoking as like

24:11

ghosts, watching the guy fuck a horse

24:14

in a field, just being like, so

24:16

this is what this for us

24:19

defending this grand union. This

24:22

is what the future held. You

24:25

know the 3000 to 5000 horses were killed in

24:27

Gettysburg and this is still the worst thing to

24:29

be honest. I put those horses would rather have

24:31

just been shot mad. And they're like, Hey, you

24:33

know what? Honestly, why don't you just edit? All

24:35

right. I'll die the old fashion way, not

24:38

the, the old way. Oh God. Well, I'm, I

24:40

wanted to cover that story, but that was all

24:43

you. That was all, but we got out. Honestly,

24:45

it was really just about the bus and

24:47

having it be a whole industry. Yeah. And

24:49

this guy has been running for a long

24:51

time and it, it's

24:55

irresponsible. Yeah. So

24:58

let's get into cult alert.

25:00

He'll Cassidy, he'll Cassidy

25:04

right down. When

25:09

you travel, do concerns back home, nag

25:11

you and should, cause

25:14

you never know what you did. You leave the oven on, you

25:18

leave the dog in the washing machine.

25:20

That's why you need to invest in

25:22

simply safe home security today.

25:25

It can't help with the dog in the washing machine. Honestly,

25:27

you should, you should kind of

25:29

reevaluate whether you should have pets or not, but

25:32

they can take care of everything else because simply

25:34

safe is there. All

25:37

die now. Oh

25:40

no, no, too. Ready

25:42

to defend you ready to defend your home.

25:44

Ready to unfortunately find the

25:47

animal you left in the washing machine, but

25:50

I don't know if they'll cover it up for you. I don't think that

25:52

they do that. I think that

25:54

that might be past simply say, I don't know if there's

25:56

an add on for that for covering up of crimes, but

25:59

they will. you. Alright, so

26:02

give Simply Safe a shot. Your life

26:04

might depend on it. Simply Safe has given me

26:06

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There's no safe like Simply Safe. This

26:27

show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Hmm,

26:30

this year, man has a

26:32

shot past. What's something I'm

26:34

proud of in 2024? You

26:36

know, I gotta say how

26:39

great my legs look. You

26:41

just get more chickeny each week. Old

26:43

pappy's knees showing more and more.

26:46

Even though I'm more physically resembling my father

26:48

every day, I face the

26:51

psychological problem that I've become

26:53

more like him psychologically every

26:55

day. It's important to celebrate

26:57

your wins. Right? See, I got my father's

26:59

knobby knees, but I also have his cop-like

27:01

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27:39

Every day I fight to

27:41

set my child up for success, which

27:44

is why as I sit and read

27:46

Carmi and Wendy Dune, trying

27:49

to explain to them the concepts of the

27:52

Savior Complex not working, doubling

27:55

back on itself, the concept

27:57

of what does it mean to be a living God.

32:00

for him. Michael K. Williams. He's in, he's in

32:02

prison forever. Yeah. They're coming for him. When you

32:04

kill a good celebrity, you

32:06

go down. They want you. Yeah. They'll want to come get

32:09

you in there because they don't want that Academy dude. Um,

32:11

but so McGillis, she believes that she is

32:13

tran, channeling these alien energies. She's the alpha.

32:15

She's the Omega. She doesn't like the word

32:18

alien. She knows. She says it's racist. Yeah.

32:20

Yeah. She says that it's really, yeah. They

32:22

have to say extraterrestrial aliens racist. So it

32:24

was bad to call him a bingo bomb,

32:26

which we said it's the B word for

32:28

aliens. You can't do that with them. All

32:30

right. Never with the

32:32

hard G. Now,

32:34

McGillis, uh, she said they bought

32:36

the thing about her is that

32:38

she's completely, uh, batch

32:40

it nuts. And really

32:43

what's bad is that she's preying upon

32:45

people that are looking to fix their

32:47

trauma. So she started as like a

32:49

group, like it started as this sort

32:51

of like loose hangout group. And then

32:53

slowly has become profundity yours of the

32:55

last several years. Um, her

32:58

husband was arrested for, uh, her

33:00

heart, Mark Allen McNeely. He reportedly,

33:02

he was her common law husband. They

33:04

were together. He's currently serving 12

33:06

years on a child pornography conviction

33:08

in Montana. So everything is

33:10

coming up. McGillis, the great,

33:12

it's a great family. You want to

33:15

be involved. Oh, and when he

33:17

gets out, he's going to join them. Oh, of

33:19

course. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Now she, she now

33:21

knows that people are paying attention to it and

33:23

she's like getting really angry about it. But the

33:25

thing about Linda McGillis is she, the way she

33:27

works, I was talking about what this with the

33:29

crew right before we started recording about how like,

33:33

if you're in a cult that has a physical

33:35

location, I totally fucking get it. Like that makes

33:37

sense. I think getting into a cult on

33:39

a fucking like going to a Baja or going

33:42

to go to some going to the Guyana, right?

33:44

Like that kind of makes sense to me in

33:46

a way where you're a volcano or a forest.

33:49

If you get got over zoom, I

33:51

don't understand. If we're doing cults remote here,

33:54

I mean, what's worse zoom or Texas. I

33:56

don't know, dude. I think all of this

33:58

is over zoom. It's all over zoom. Facebook

34:00

and but they now have a ranch they

34:02

are making it physical but just this idea

34:04

of being like we're really gonna be like

34:06

oh we're gonna have a cult remote workers

34:09

you know like oh I think that they have to return

34:11

to the office and I'm

34:13

sorry that makes me a boomer about cults

34:15

alrighty if you want to be in a

34:17

cult you go to a commune and you

34:19

suck a weird man's with permanent sunglasses dick

34:21

just like everybody else okay what does she

34:23

say to these people so with their she

34:25

does these communiques where she talks about and

34:27

and like I tried to pin it down

34:29

and a lot of it's about how like

34:31

light is energy and you need to let

34:33

it inside of you to transform and you

34:36

have to give me money for

34:38

me to teach you these things to in

34:40

order to quote unquote change your inverted solar

34:42

coating that's like one big term she uses

34:44

another term is again the the intergalactic alliance

34:47

of masters like the concept of the that

34:49

there's ascended masters so ascended masters in the

34:51

world of channeling it's like this also kind

34:53

of come from madam blavatsky this concept that

34:55

there is I know this

34:58

information like if this is the term when

35:00

you see ascended masters it's a cult leader

35:02

saying yeah I know this information but it's

35:04

not that I'm special

35:07

is that I've been granted access to

35:10

a group of special secret

35:12

intelligences often referred to as

35:14

ascended masters that'd be like a term so

35:17

they were they are when someone says ascended

35:19

masters that means a group of people that's

35:21

telling you what to do do a bunch

35:23

of bad shit to a bunch of people

35:26

it's a group of people who doesn't exist

35:28

okay because they're over there right it's it's

35:30

blaming your cult on being like I wish

35:32

that I could change the group's bankings I

35:35

wish that I could but according to the

35:37

ascended masters this is the only way we

35:39

can go towards the light that style yeah

35:42

so she's doing that one also one

35:44

my favorite is that she says that

35:46

we will get out of the belief

35:49

of god right because god is not

35:51

the belief it's I am is the

35:53

belief but god because god stands for

35:55

generator operator destroyer god is just I

35:57

am's fucking like consigliere Wow,

36:00

generator operator destroyed. Yeah, I saw that. I

36:02

was like, that's fucking awesome. That is kind

36:04

of cool. That's metal as fuck. I want

36:06

that shirt. That's fucking

36:08

awesome. But yes, she mostly rambles. But the reason

36:10

why we also covered is that she is she

36:12

is isolating people. So it's guarding you to the

36:15

point they're starting to round up. Yeah, they're doing

36:17

that thing. They're doing a round up. And there

36:19

was a guy named Siren Warner. I don't know

36:21

how you've... When it

36:23

comes to TikTok, like investigators, I'm never that into

36:25

it, but this guy actually has some great cuts

36:28

on this cult. And this guy, I can't speak for

36:30

the rest of his material, but this is a great video.

36:32

Okay, great. And so what he did was he clipped

36:34

out about how they, what

36:36

they do is ramble

36:39

about fucking nonsense. I

36:41

mean, they're not even rambling. I've been

36:44

keeping tabs on a new age religious

36:46

group in Texas called Profundity Yours. And

36:48

I believe there's reason to be concerned.

36:51

It's not that I think all the

36:53

middle-aged members in matching uniforms are dangerous.

36:55

They seem pretty tame. I'm

36:57

not too concerned about the nonsense language

37:00

they speak. Yeah,

37:09

so they just started talking to me. She's

37:11

got good, like... I

37:15

also don't understand why every new cult

37:18

woman leader, they all

37:20

sound like Aunt Patty from The Simpsons. Oh,

37:22

yeah. Cause she is like, I need

37:25

you to understand what the type

37:27

of energy is here. We need to

37:29

find a balance in

37:32

your energies. There's something

37:34

about that though. Like, you know, I do

37:36

respect women who talk like that. I feel

37:38

like it's a new pattern. It feels like

37:40

you know something. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah,

37:42

you sound like a fun waitress. I remember

37:44

one time I was delivering baby furniture for

37:47

a while, baby furniture rentals back

37:49

in Florida. Things that people asked for. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You

37:51

just arrive with a bunch of weird baby furniture and threw

37:53

it on a lawn, going like, Oh, you're back here in

37:55

a week. You cunt. No,

37:58

it's baby furniture rentals. like an actual like job,

38:00

a business in South Florida, cause old people live

38:02

there and they have people visit them and they

38:05

need to rent a crib. Yeah. You know? So,

38:07

but I remember I'd spend these long ass days

38:09

going around people yelling at me, call me fat,

38:11

call me hammered all day long, trying to get

38:13

me fired. I hated it. And then I had

38:15

a really long day one time. And I remember

38:17

the last one was in the shitty neighborhood and

38:19

it was just awful. And I couldn't, I was

38:21

like, damn it, this is disgusting. And then I

38:23

put a crib in this woman's house and she

38:25

was the nicest one of everyone. She's smoking a

38:27

million cigarettes around all these kids. And then she

38:30

hands me $10 at the end of

38:32

the day and say, go buy yourself a

38:34

pack of cigarettes. Like, no ma'am, I'm sorry.

38:37

You scared me straight. But she

38:39

gave me the biggest tip I got the entire time

38:41

I worked there. Cause nothing, I don't

38:44

know what it is. Cause they love, you should

38:46

see the mansions I put fucking cribs in. I

38:48

know they love, they love a lady that sounds

38:50

like that. That sounds like somebody

38:52

you can trust for some reason. It sounds

38:54

like somebody who's lived a lot of life.

38:57

Oh, too much life. Too much life. But

38:59

McGillis has lived too much life. And that

39:01

is what you know, as the L.O.E. or

39:03

in the younger myth

39:06

of creationals. This

39:08

is my, this is what I'm talking

39:10

about. I listened to this for three

39:12

hours and this lady talks a nonstop

39:14

clip about the idea that we are

39:16

in. We need to separate our two

39:18

realities that we're in one reality where

39:21

we're here and now, but there's another

39:23

reality where we're up and down and

39:25

like she's saying all this, like it's,

39:27

it is, it is

39:29

the most horseshit I've heard. She sounds

39:31

like a computer with lips. I've read

39:33

Dianetics and it's made more

39:36

sense. Like it's that like LRH

39:38

was more and more. I see more and more.

39:40

They just don't fucking

39:46

get it. They don't get it. LRH is the

39:48

only one who did it right. Right.

39:51

Him, Joseph Smith. Yeah. Did

39:54

it right. They knew what they were doing. They had

39:56

a plan. It was created. Smith didn't really have a

39:58

plan. He was just. sick of walking and he saw

40:00

a lake and he was like, Jesus was here. Joseph

40:03

Smith was a very,

40:06

very skilled con man. I

40:09

would put him up. I still view probably it's

40:11

like, he's in the

40:13

con man hall of fame. It's like, Oh yeah.

40:15

Yeah. He's one of them out Rushburn. He's

40:17

met in the, what he did was

40:19

truly like, cause Mormonism is

40:22

still one of the third, it's I think

40:24

it's the third biggest religion in the world. Mormonism.

40:26

Yeah. It's huge. Mormonism is

40:28

huge. That why all those books are in

40:30

the hotels. That's cause of a deal with

40:32

Hyatt. Really? Well, that's something else. Well, what was

40:34

it? The, the Mormon, I forget why it was

40:36

something, there's something with the book of Mormon. I

40:38

don't remember. I'm not gonna act. I'm not

40:40

going to say confidently why I know. Okay. Cause I don't

40:42

know. Fair enough. But they did something.

40:45

You learned off of your Karen Reed mistakes.

40:48

I tried to, I try not to talk. If

40:50

I'm talking out of my ass, um, it's cause

40:52

I'm trying to. Yes. Yeah. If I'm not, I'm

40:54

trying not to speak with confidence. Yeah. It's every

40:56

day. How do you think it got here folks?

41:00

How do you think I did this? Um, all

41:02

right. So what's going to happen to this woman?

41:05

Nothing, nothing right now. We'll see. Right now. It's

41:07

just the beginning. Something will have some sort of

41:09

bullshit going to end up coming on there. People

41:11

are kind of just mostly getting concerned about the

41:13

fact they are currently isolating themselves. It's profoundly yours.

41:16

Like a religion. No,

41:18

it is prevented to yours as a society of

41:21

diverse humans coming together now to create a new

41:23

environment. One of the, wait, actually, let me take

41:25

it back. But funny to yours is

41:27

a society of diverse humans coming

41:29

together now to go create a new environment.

41:31

One of the empowered gratitude and heart based

41:34

living as one with

41:36

the earth. Each one of us contributes wisdom,

41:38

experience, and limitless

41:40

perspectives on a new way of being living and

41:42

participating in life. We

41:49

choose to live by higher morals, ethics,

41:51

and the more we're able to live

41:53

by our morals, ethics, honesty, and integrity.

41:55

We encourage art base. It's art based

41:57

living. That's the thing. It's

41:59

heart based. All right, through

42:01

building strong foundations of trust,

42:03

genuineness, and authenticity. A

42:08

community grows and we expands through offerings

42:10

and love blessings of others as we

42:13

walk hand in hand with each other

42:15

in humble gratitude, grace, truth, faith, and

42:18

love. So that's who

42:20

they are. Cool. So yeah, their mission

42:22

is to live as one with the

42:25

Earth, whole heart, whole mind, whole soul,

42:27

whole spirit, promote, apply, embody spirit, AKA,

42:29

P-body means nothing. Purpose, we

42:31

bring the wisdom of the ways of

42:33

the ancients to the present. Reality, we'll

42:35

sledding go of the modernization enslavement by

42:37

living our ancient futuristic knowing. Yeah,

42:40

I wish. If

42:42

I could just live my ancient futuristic knowing, I wouldn't

42:44

need to have a job. That's what she's

42:47

saying. That is actually, that's

42:49

not, sounds nice. I just don't know how,

42:51

I guess we have to, the first thing

42:53

you don't want to do is go down. You're going to

42:55

get me a pack of pomoles. And then

42:57

you're going to call my ex-husband. You're going to tell him,

42:59

go fuck yourself. He's coming. He

43:01

loves it. Oh, no. We were, that's my

43:03

ex-husband. This is my current husband. I love

43:06

what he does. I don't care about the

43:08

child pornography because children grow. And

43:11

then every child becomes a lady. And

43:15

then is. Then they hunt and

43:17

game on. Then

43:20

we can all take a piece. Baa,

43:22

baa, baa, baa, baa, baa, baa, baa, baa, baa, baa, baa,

43:24

baa, baa, baa, baa, baa, sorry,

43:27

I'm getting a message. Mm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm,

43:29

mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm,

43:31

mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm. Life from your grave.

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then the man or lady will come with

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we're sending him wiffle balls to this guy's house,

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know I'm sitting on about two

46:34

literal wheelbarrows filled with horsepicks.

46:36

Now, part of the issue has

46:38

been is a lot of these

46:41

pictures are getting stopped at customs

46:43

because some of them do depict

46:45

various world leaders in horse-like circumstances

46:48

that seems to be pinging a

46:50

lot of these custom agents' accounts.

46:53

Now, so what I've done to do

46:55

is like, so while I'm trying to

46:58

work on hand smuggling these horsepicks over

47:00

various country borders, I

47:02

then also have time because Squarespace is doing

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all the other ad work for me to

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go and work on my kildos at home. So

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thank you Squarespace for allowing me to

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a website or domain. I

47:27

love crazy people. You know also crazy is

47:29

Danica Patrick. I love Danica Patrick. I did

47:31

not know. So Danica Patrick, who is a

47:34

Formula One driver, right? That

47:36

was what she was. She was like beautiful. She

47:39

did both. Isn't her... Yeah, she did

47:41

NASCAR? Yeah, she did both of them. No, isn't

47:43

Danica Patrick, she also like, but wasn't she like

47:45

famous for a while? Like she was like famous

47:47

names. She was the first woman to do it.

47:49

Yeah, and no, but now she's apparently... She was

47:51

awesome. She's completely insane now. Now apparently she went,

47:53

she did her lizard people podcast apparently. I didn't

47:55

know about any of this. This is so sad.

47:57

She did a long thing about how she believes

47:59

there's a... another again. It's these

48:01

terms that come up. So think about

48:03

this. They treated her like shit. Think

48:05

about all the stuff that I just

48:08

said, right? Like I said, New Earth,

48:10

blah, blah, blah. Here's what Dan Patrick

48:12

is saying. People in the past, quote,

48:14

unquote, found solution for cancer, but they

48:16

were killed off. We're seeing the uprising.

48:18

They quote, New Earth frequency. People getting

48:20

murdered over free energy technology. 5G

48:23

is poisoning us. They're also saying here, obviously all

48:25

the UFO is fine. All the UFO stuff is

48:27

real. That's kind of the new. That's unfortunately, I'm

48:29

going to have to say that that makes sense.

48:31

Um, in the next four

48:33

years, the celebrity reptilians wall shape shift

48:35

into their true forms because of these

48:37

so-called truth love vibrations. Those who did

48:39

not wish to show their true forms

48:41

will quote unquote transmute into the light

48:43

AKA pass away. So they're going to

48:45

die. Right? So according to her, Justin

48:47

Bieber is going to accidentally shape shift

48:49

on stage in front of thousands. He

48:51

canceled his tour. He's

48:53

not doing it. Honestly, you know, who's going to

48:56

do it is fucking, but we're not talking about

48:58

his fucking Taylor Swift. Who's going

49:00

to flip it on all of us. We gotta

49:02

be free to her. We're going to

49:04

be afraid of her 2028. You

49:07

know who she used to date? Who? Aaron

49:09

Rogers. She dated Aaron Rogers.

49:11

Oh yeah. Oh

49:13

yeah. No, they're all crazy dude. They're

49:16

all connected. It's so weird. What is

49:18

next dude? No, she's going to flip

49:20

her people. She's going to flip them.

49:22

She's fine. She's going

49:25

to flip way more than fine. I'm just

49:28

saying, yeah, she's doing fine. Yeah. I'm just

49:30

saying we got to

49:32

watch her. Cause if she flips, he's

49:34

watching her. Please. We don't have nothing to say,

49:36

but we got to like with one foot into

49:38

the mania, one foot out. I don't mind the

49:40

music. I don't even care about the music. I

49:42

don't like the music, but I respect her as

49:44

a person. She has too much strength and we

49:47

got to be careful. I think she's good for

49:49

now. Good human. It was a better way to

49:51

say it. I actually don't. How do you know that? Cause

49:53

she gave a bunch of money to everyone who works for her. Yeah,

49:56

but that's just so they don't snitch. Snitch

49:58

a hundred million dollars. to everybody so

50:00

she doesn't see you that's fucking body

50:03

money dog and hide money but I

50:05

don't know what they got going on

50:07

backstage dog man who cares if she's

50:09

giving out a hundred Mel I

50:11

don't know man everybody's got a

50:13

price don't they yeah well you

50:15

get me more you can treat

50:17

me worse my price is exactly

50:19

seven thousand dollars exactly

50:24

all right so yeah so Danica did

50:26

do a bunch of mushrooms yeah we

50:29

have an energetic responsibility to clear all

50:31

of these energies and basically

50:34

we have to stop telling

50:36

kids that Santa's real and say that ghosts are

50:38

real I agree with that to be honest with

50:40

you I don't like the Santa Claus thing I

50:42

told you my perspective is go deeper in well

50:46

why are we just lying to children they should just

50:48

get used to it now mommy bought the gifts daddy

50:51

worked hard I fucking

50:53

bought him not Santa

50:56

Claus I'm not having no fucking elephants you're

50:58

not having a child yeah

51:00

we're not having kids this is why we're

51:02

not having kids you know so why we're

51:04

not having kids is that I was also

51:06

saw three I mean this three different stories

51:08

in the last month of a kid killing

51:10

their parents there was one who was a

51:12

Mormon kid that was that transitioned to

51:16

a girl and then flipped out and killed

51:18

her parents and cold blood double tapped both

51:20

of them and then almost shot killed her

51:22

brother then there was another one it was

51:24

a young girl who's 15 years old stabbed

51:26

her mom mother in her sleep because he

51:28

said her mother was trying to deny her

51:31

blackness oh my god white she was waiting

51:33

also by the way and then um and

51:35

then another kid shot his mom and his

51:37

dad I was like whoo I'm got to

51:39

get this vasectomy yeah shit

51:42

because it is yeah cuz the

51:44

hoo all right a toddler

51:47

has now shot someone every week

51:49

for two solid years in America

51:51

to be careful man these

51:57

kids man two years technically

1:00:00

sign on to die. Yeah, I guess so.

1:00:02

But it's been a long time. They don't

1:00:04

sign on to die. No. They sign on

1:00:06

and saying, if I die. Yeah, then I'm

1:00:08

fine with it because I'm an astronaut. But

1:00:10

there was a leak before they left. Well,

1:00:13

do they go? This is actually side stories lpotlgmail.com

1:00:15

because I'd love to talk to somebody who knows

1:00:17

more about that. Yeah. Because I feel like what

1:00:19

it is- Well, this is a very much developing

1:00:21

story. Very much so. And I would love to

1:00:24

know if there is, as

1:00:26

I imagine there is, a series of protocols

1:00:28

that you have to fulfill before you could

1:00:30

take off. And then I also wonder if

1:00:32

the pilots themselves are like, oh, that's an

1:00:35

issue we can handle later or

1:00:37

are they just not told? Like, are they not- is that

1:00:39

a thing where they're looking at it and they decide to

1:00:41

go ahead because, oh, hey, actually, maybe this

1:00:43

is like a thing that we can fix up

1:00:45

there. Yeah. Because, but I don't

1:00:47

know if that's how that works. I imagine if

1:00:50

anything's broken on a fucking space shuttle, they would

1:00:52

stop it, but maybe they can't.

1:00:54

Maybe it's too expensive. Maybe it literally gets to

1:00:56

a point where once the train's rolling out the

1:00:59

fucking, the station that you can't

1:01:01

stop it. I don't know. Yeah. I mean, what are

1:01:03

they supposed to do? They're fucking up there. I mean,

1:01:05

they're, I mean, they're- They're scheduled to come home on

1:01:07

July 2nd. So we'll see

1:01:09

if that happens. So why are they going to die? Is

1:01:12

it just because they just have no more resources and they're

1:01:14

just stuck? There's a helium

1:01:16

leak. So they're losing like, so

1:01:19

they can't talk in funny voices to each other and

1:01:21

they can, they're going to lose morale or- Yeah. I

1:01:23

think that's what it is. And they're both going to

1:01:25

commit suicide. No, I don't know. I don't know how

1:01:27

fucking spaceships work. All right. I'm

1:01:29

not, they're either just Boeing apparently. They

1:01:34

can stop asking us to come in and

1:01:36

consult. They say, maybe we shouldn't break our

1:01:38

NDA right now, but actually it's been, it's

1:01:41

been eight months. Yeah. No, we've been consulting on

1:01:43

a lot of the new Boeing craft and they've

1:01:45

asked us for a lot of our opinions. And

1:01:47

cause our main thing is- I came in, I

1:01:49

was like, yo, why isn't this shit leaking helium?

1:01:51

And they're like, I'm sorry, Ed, we'll make it

1:01:53

leak helium. Poke, poke, poke, poke, poke, poke, poke,

1:01:55

poke. I

1:02:00

told him, Hey, why don't you make space

1:02:02

shuttles? Not stupid anymore. Yeah, man. Don't make

1:02:04

them fucking dumb. Fucking wherever, dude. Put a

1:02:07

fuck in. I want a flaming skull on

1:02:09

one, man. God damn space idiots. You

1:02:12

don't know how to fucking run a business

1:02:14

Boeing. Fuck you, dude. These astronauts

1:02:16

live. I like astronauts. We all like

1:02:18

astronauts. You remember the insult? Your mother's

1:02:21

an astronaut. Yeah. What was that? I

1:02:23

don't know. They never made sense to me. It's

1:02:25

like a compliment. That's a weird one. Right?

1:02:28

Your mom was an astronaut. Yeah. Why

1:02:30

was that a thing? Maybe it was

1:02:32

because it was close to the, when,

1:02:34

uh, the challenger died in a fucking

1:02:36

explosion. Your mother's an astronaut right here.

1:02:38

Okay. This is it says, all right. Astronaut.

1:02:41

His mom was a spaced

1:02:43

out junkie, druggy

1:02:45

there for being all messed up. Is that

1:02:47

what they really say? They don't just say

1:02:49

your mom's a fucked up junkie. Yeah. They

1:02:51

don't just see that because I feel like

1:02:53

that's a really nice way of saying your

1:02:56

mom's a junkie. It was made famous by

1:02:58

white men. Can't jump. Yeah. I remember that.

1:03:00

That's right. Oh yeah. Your mom was an

1:03:02

astronaut. Hey, leave my mama out of this.

1:03:04

Yeah. Yeah. Because that's the thing. It's like,

1:03:06

Oh, me saying your mother's an astronaut is

1:03:08

just another way of saying you're all fucked

1:03:10

up. Well, and we learned that

1:03:12

you ever remember, did you ever hear that big bird

1:03:14

was supposed to be on the challenger? We talked all

1:03:16

about this. Oh yeah. We did. We talked to, we

1:03:18

did a whole breakdown. I did it with Marcus. Okay.

1:03:21

I was going to say a whole breakdown with Marcus

1:03:23

about how we believe, forget everything. The moment I walk

1:03:25

out of the room, Marcus and I talked about how

1:03:27

he believes that, but literally American history would have been

1:03:29

different if big bird was killed on the challenger. Oh

1:03:31

yeah. If he had exploded the challenger a lot of

1:03:33

shit and then we brought up all the various ways,

1:03:35

everything else could be different. You know, I saw the

1:03:38

challenger explode. Yeah. Yeah. When I was

1:03:40

a kid, I was in preschool and they all brought, I

1:03:42

was around Orlando and they brought us outside to see the

1:03:44

space shuttle launch. We saw it explode. Easy. Nothing to stop

1:03:46

it. I did nothing to stop it. I probably took

1:03:49

a nap. Well,

1:03:52

I guess that's another NDA broken. NDA, no dogs

1:03:54

allowed. No dogs allowed. Not on the tragic bus.

1:10:00

God, well that would help me as a boy. Yeah. Now,

1:10:03

do you like, is it good? Like, do you think

1:10:05

he should like lean into it a little bit and

1:10:07

be like, make them meals that look

1:10:09

like people? I think no. Nope. Why

1:10:12

not? I think that continues to

1:10:14

strengthen the fantasy. Now what if one of someone

1:10:16

like this showed up to one of your cannibal

1:10:18

parties? Oh, when I do the cannibal parties? Yeah.

1:10:21

I will gladly, obviously, you know, I'll take their ticket money.

1:10:24

Yeah. And I'll take a picture with them. Mm-hmm.

1:10:27

And that's it. I'm not a

1:10:29

therapist. Yeah. You know, I can't

1:10:31

get in there. And

1:10:33

if they told me they weren't actually a cannibal and they're doing

1:10:35

this as a dry ride. I've been

1:10:37

waiting to eat somebody for years, Henry Zabrowski. I'd be

1:10:40

like, Hey buddy, you know, welcome to the club. I'm

1:10:43

glad you're here doing this in this way. Because

1:10:46

if you can get out of your system,

1:10:49

eating a bunch of bougie chip like a butt, no

1:10:52

harm no foul. No harm, no foul. And if

1:10:55

you can just eat it that way. I should

1:10:57

have been the name of that guy's chicken. Fuck

1:10:59

bus. All harm. All harm.

1:11:01

All foul. We got a lot of videos. It was

1:11:03

a lot of shit. Like I think we did enough.

1:11:05

Yeah. I think we've done enough today. You've

1:11:08

done enough. I think we've done enough. Can I do a

1:11:10

quick plug? Please. I'm going

1:11:12

to be doing stand up tomorrow night in Burbank at

1:11:14

the Moose Lodge. You

1:11:22

lucky lucky boy. Oh my God. There's a

1:11:24

new stand up show, vintage comedy. I don't

1:11:26

know what to expect. I'm part of a

1:11:28

bunch of comics are doing some time. I'm

1:11:30

hosting Corey Jacobs is

1:11:32

hosting. Oh, it sounds familiar. Yeah. Um,

1:11:34

he, uh, he owns yes, baby vintage and Burbank and

1:11:36

stuff like that. Yes. But

1:11:39

yeah, the Burbank Moose Lodge vintage comedy, 8PM, $10. Come

1:11:43

on down. I'm doing like 10 minutes. Come check it

1:11:45

out. Run the light a little bit. You know, come

1:11:47

check it out. I'll shake some hands. I fucking love

1:11:49

to see you guys. That's

1:11:52

Thursday night. Uh, what is

1:11:54

that? The 27th. June. I'm

1:11:56

going to reach out to our listeners and see

1:11:58

who's out there in the New York comedy because

1:12:01

Eddie and I want to do a goddamn bar

1:12:03

show when we're in town. Yes. We

1:12:05

want to do a good New York bar.

1:12:08

And so that's the thing. It has to

1:12:10

be good. Yeah. Like you can't suck. So

1:12:13

you have to look and miss the shitty shows.

1:12:15

That's why I'm doing the moose slush. I like

1:12:17

a shitty show. That's good. That's what I want.

1:12:19

I want a shitty show. That's good. So I

1:12:21

did book us on your shitty show. That's actually

1:12:23

very good to make it. We need two microphones.

1:12:25

Yes. Two microphones. Cause we really want to do

1:12:27

something when we're in town. That's what he talks.

1:12:30

I talk like a professional. It's

1:12:33

a little everyday begging to be booked in

1:12:35

a basement or worst section of

1:12:37

the, one of the worst cities in the

1:12:39

world. Yeah. And you love the fact that

1:12:41

when you get out on that stage, those

1:12:44

hipsters, they might look at you like you're

1:12:46

the world's oldest man, but they don't know

1:12:48

that you invented the laughter that they are

1:12:50

experiencing. All right. And they're going to have

1:12:52

to live with the fact

1:12:55

that they weren't there in 2006

1:12:57

when we began at all.

1:13:02

I mean, we started before that. I'm just saying what

1:13:05

they know. Yeah. It started as

1:13:07

2003, but they don't fucking understand anything

1:13:09

in terms of these fucking ideas. So

1:13:11

that show is going to be at

1:13:13

the King's theater December 7th. And

1:13:15

so we're looking for our gig on Sunday night

1:13:18

on December 8th. Fuck it. Well, yeah. Cause we'll

1:13:20

Friday night, we're going to be in Philly, Friday

1:13:22

night. We're in Philly doing side stories live December

1:13:24

6th. I think that sold out, but maybe there

1:13:27

might be a ticket or two left. I'm

1:13:29

also going to be doing side stories live

1:13:31

on September 13th in Chicago at the

1:13:34

park West, which is beautiful

1:13:36

theater. Oh yeah. Yeah. So

1:13:38

December 8th. All right. Casey

1:13:41

James Salango. I know you listen. You

1:13:44

fuck Casey James Salango. Yeah. Yeah. Hit

1:13:46

me up. Hit me up. Yeah. Get

1:13:48

us on a show, Casey. December

1:13:51

8th. All right. I love you guys. Go

1:13:53

to patreon.com/slash podcast. On the left to watch

1:13:55

us talk on last podcast on the left.

1:13:57

You will like it. And there's many other

1:13:59

fun. We got BTS stuff

1:14:01

that's flowing. It's really, really good. He's listening

1:14:03

to No Dogs in Space. Comes out tomorrow.

1:14:05

It's back. It's back. The

1:14:08

can. Yeah, the new can series is finally coming out. Can't wait

1:14:10

for you guys to see that. They've been working

1:14:12

real hard on it. And go to twitch.tv slash

1:14:14

LPN TV to see all of our Twitch ships.

1:14:17

You're fading. These are good. Listen to the

1:14:19

brighter side. We should get out of here

1:14:21

before your fucking lungs explode. Glass podcast on

1:14:23

the left.com for tour tickets. If you can

1:14:26

even handle how good it is and go

1:14:28

on to YouTube, good put cast

1:14:30

is live. Yes. The good put

1:14:32

cast is live. A lot of things are fucking

1:14:34

shaken down over here. We're working on stuff. It's

1:14:37

crazy. We're making a lot of stuff. July 11th

1:14:39

is going to be the Hoopa Google game special.

1:14:42

Yes. We're going to be starting

1:14:44

our actual like we're making our own fucking game. It's

1:14:47

going to be the brighter side versus page seven on

1:14:49

Hoopa Google game. So go check out good put go

1:14:51

check out all the. We're

1:14:54

fucking shooting dude. Got our fucking stuff

1:14:56

going man. Tonight on Twitch, you can

1:14:58

watch brighter side live at 6 PM

1:15:01

Pacific 9 PM Eastern. It's fun right

1:15:03

before that. Yeah. All right. Be

1:15:06

good you guys. He'll sit in peace. Absolute

1:15:08

territory. Is that what it's called? Absolute

1:15:10

territory. Send in your best

1:15:13

depictions of absolute territory for Eddie at side stories

1:15:15

at LP. I don't want to see it. I

1:15:17

don't want to know. I want

1:15:19

to. I like it in the wild. I don't like it presented.

1:15:26

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