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30 Rockefeller Plaza in New York, Please

2:00

enjoy this podcast edition of Late Night with Seth

2:03

Meyers. On today's show, Seth talks

2:05

to actor Jesse Plemons. But

2:07

first, a closer look. Donald

2:17

Trump and Fox News have settled on

2:19

an interesting strategy for next week's presidential

2:21

debate. They're admitting Trump will probably lose,

2:24

but claiming it's because Joe Biden will be on drugs.

2:26

For more on this, it's time for a closer look.

2:33

The race is very close right now,

2:35

but Joe Biden just got some much-needed

2:37

good news about his poll numbers and

2:39

from Fox News of all places. A

2:41

new Fox News poll shows President Biden

2:43

leading the former president by two points

2:45

in a head-to-head matchup. 50%

2:48

of respondents said they would vote for Biden.

2:50

It's his best showing yet this election cycle.

2:52

And the first time he's been ahead

2:54

of Trump in our poll since October

2:56

of last year. Wow, Fox News says

2:59

Joe Biden is back in the lead.

3:01

Biden headquarters must be celebrating. We're ahead

3:03

of the polls. Let's boogie, Joe. That's

3:05

what it's supposed to be. Guys,

3:08

or not, or not, or not.

3:12

So Biden is ahead of Trump for the

3:14

first time since October, but only by two

3:16

points, and it's within the margin of error.

3:18

I'm sorry, but how is it only two

3:20

points? I mean, I know it's futile to

3:22

ask, and I should just accept the feeling

3:24

of being dead inside amid the whirlwind of

3:27

lies and chaos and degradation of our institutions

3:29

and whatever the hell this is. Oh!

3:33

Oh! Oh! See,

3:37

how is it only two points? The

3:40

guy staged a month-long coup attempt and violent

3:43

insurrection, got impeached twice, bungled the deadly pandemic

3:45

so badly the nation's top scientists tried to

3:47

hide their faces, tried to take healthcare away

3:49

from 20 million Americans, called the CEO of

3:52

Apple Tim Apple, said he would use his

3:54

presidency to get revenge on his enemies and

3:56

be a dictator in day one through paper

3:58

towels and hurricane victims. to face

4:00

the weather map, asked his audience if they'd

4:03

rather die by shark bite or electrocution, just

4:05

got convicted of 34 felony counts for

4:07

paying hush money during a presidential campaign to a porn

4:09

star who testified in court that she spanked him with

4:12

a magazine with his face on it and

4:14

that he was wearing, and I quote, silk

4:16

or satin pajamas. All

4:18

else is sat... He should be losing because he's a

4:21

huge dork. Silk

4:23

pajamas. Who are you, Lauren Bacall?

4:26

Silk pajamas are what a 17-year-old

4:28

wears to an after-prom party at

4:31

a lake house thinking he's about to get

4:33

laid. Hello, ladies.

4:35

Anyone need a handkerchief from

4:37

my breast pocket? Yes,

4:40

it's paper, and yes, it has

4:42

Spider-Man on it. But

4:45

this is a testament to how radically our

4:47

politics have changed. It used to be that

4:49

anyone with a fraction of Trump's moral and

4:52

legal transgressions would be shunned by their own

4:54

party. Nixon resigned in part because Republicans told

4:56

him to step down, but now Trump has

4:58

an entire right-wing media apparatus and an army

5:01

of lackeys in the GOP devoted to him.

5:03

They even dress like him. I mean, look

5:05

at this. This looks like a

5:07

community theater production of Jersey Boys. They

5:10

look like servers at a MAGA-themed restaurant getting

5:12

the specials from the head waiter at the

5:14

beginning of the shift. Tonight,

5:16

we have an overcooked steak with ketchup. We

5:19

got a glass of disinfectant to cure COVID.

5:21

And tonight, the Big Macs come in servings

5:23

of one, two, or table. In

5:26

fact, they're such loyal toadies. They're

5:29

now claiming that, actually, despite Trump saying

5:31

he'll be a dictator on day one,

5:33

Joe Biden is the one who's acting

5:35

like a tyrant. Under Joe Biden, we're

5:37

actually living under a dictatorship today. That's

5:39

North Dakota Governor Doug Burgum. Doug Burgum,

5:41

as we've said before, is also the

5:43

curse word farmers say when living under

5:45

a dictatorship. He's taking away my gas

5:47

grill, Doug Burgum. Let's

5:52

hear Burgum's reasoning for this

5:55

insane claim that Biden is

5:57

supposedly the real dictator. He's

5:59

bypassing Congress. on immigration policy.

6:01

He's bypassing Congress on protecting

6:03

our border. He's bypassing Congress

6:07

on student loan forgiveness. He means defying the

6:09

Supreme Court. I mean, those are the things

6:11

that authoritarians and dictators do, is they don't

6:13

follow our democratic processes, and

6:15

they just assert their own liberal view,

6:18

and that's what the Biden administration is

6:21

doing. Yes, of course, those famously liberal

6:23

dictators. Who can forget when Benito Mussolini

6:25

threatened to forgive everyone's student loans? With

6:29

the now-famous words, that's too

6:31

much money for a communications

6:33

degree. Of

6:39

course, this is laughable to anyone

6:41

with normal human eyes and ears who pays

6:43

attention to politics, but in the hall of

6:45

mirrors that is Fox News, they have to

6:47

turn off their brains and pretend that Trump

6:50

isn't the one he tried to overthrow in

6:52

election and said he'd be a dictator in

6:54

day one. These are also the same people

6:56

claiming that despite Trump's erratic and unhinged behavior,

6:59

it's Biden who will probably be on drugs

7:01

at next week's debate. The only event where

7:03

Biden didn't totally, completely, and utterly humiliate himself,

7:06

that was the State of the Union, where

7:08

he appeared, as I said, immediately

7:10

thereafter, jacked up. I called him

7:12

jacked-up Joe. I don't know.

7:14

Hypercaffeinated Joe, whatever Joe. Call him whatever

7:16

you want. By the way, I'll

7:19

bet any amount of money, I'd say better

7:21

than 50-50 odds, that

7:23

we'll see that Joe with the debate. Now, I

7:25

don't know if he had a lot of Red

7:27

Bull. I don't know if he had a cedron

7:29

that has caffeine in it. I don't know if

7:31

he had a caffeine pill or something, whatever. I

7:33

don't know. If you don't know, why are

7:36

you talking about it? Fox

7:38

News is the only channel that will

7:40

lie to you and admit it

7:42

at the same time. Just a reminder, before we go

7:45

to commercial, we don't know what the f*** we're talking

7:47

about. I

7:49

know you're not a journalist, but you are

7:51

on TV. You should have a slightly higher

7:53

bar for fact-checking, even the f***ing cash cab

7:55

had to make sure their answers were right.

7:59

Also, I'm sorry, you think... Biden's the one who's

8:01

jacked up on caffeine pills and

8:03

not this guy? Six... toilets

8:08

and showers. One time, two

8:11

times, five times, 10 times. 10 times.

8:14

Four, five, six, seven,

8:16

eight, nine, 10. He

8:19

asked Russia to go get

8:21

the E-Mass. We have to win

8:23

in November, or

8:26

we're not gonna have Pennsylvania. So, wait

8:28

a minute. Mike Lindell, please stand up.

8:30

How do you get to Europe? We

8:33

haven't figured that one out yet. We

8:35

don't use airplanes. WikiLeaks. I love WikiLeaks.

8:37

Ding. Boom. This is me. I hear.

8:40

Bing. Bing, bing. Bong, bong, bing, bing,

8:42

bing. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.

8:44

Psh-ing, boom. Rar-ar-ar. No,

8:47

get those lights off! Off!

8:50

Turn them off. They're too... They're too

8:53

bright. Turn them off! Saudi Arabia

8:55

and Russia. We'll repeat

8:57

your... He

9:00

sounds like he just walked out of the bathroom

9:02

at Studio 54 while they were

9:04

closing up. Whoa! Turn those lights off! I

9:07

love you guys. Ah! Mike Lindell. Bing, bong, bing,

9:10

bing, bing, bing. Kennedy

9:12

also did a weird impression of a supposedly drugged-up

9:14

Biden. The Joe Biden that we're talking about tonight,

9:16

I don't think will be the Joe Biden we're

9:18

gonna see on debate night. I think the Joe

9:20

Biden we see on debate night is gonna be

9:22

the guy that we saw at the State of

9:24

the Union. Blah, blah, blah, blah,

9:26

blah, blah, blah. He's gonna be all hyped up.

9:29

That's your impression to Joe Biden. That sounds like

9:31

an exact quote from Donald Trump. Seriously,

9:34

I think he said the exact same thing.

9:36

Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,

9:39

blah. We'll repeat your... In

9:42

fairness, he probably... He

9:46

probably just saw that on an

9:48

inspirational poster. Kennedy

9:52

also has a new nickname. He's really trying to

9:54

get going for Biden, but it doesn't sound as

9:56

damning as he thinks it does. Tonight, America saw...

10:00

Let's say a very different Joe

10:02

Biden. I might call him Jacked

10:04

Up Joe. Jacked Up Joe screaming

10:07

lie after lie. Jacked Up Joe,

10:10

perhaps overcompensated. Very angry,

10:12

very jacked up, you

10:14

might say. This angry Jacked

10:16

Up Joe Biden. Let's get your overall reaction

10:19

to Jacked Up Joe. Jacked Up Joe. Jacked

10:21

Up Joe. Jacked Up Joe. I think we'll

10:23

see the return of Jacked Up Joe. Only

10:25

question is will it be Jacked Up Joe

10:27

or the regular Joe? That's when we saw

10:30

Jacked Up Joe. Jacked Up Joe. Jacked

10:32

Up Joe. Jacked Up Joe. Jacked Up

10:34

Joe. Jacked Up Joe. Jacked Up Joe.

10:36

Sounds awesome. Jacked Up Joe sounds like

10:39

a professional wrestler. Oh brother, you're gonna

10:41

regret the day you tangled with Jacked

10:43

Up Joe. Tell him Dr. Jill. I'm

10:45

gonna write you a prescription for pain

10:47

meds because you're about to get all

10:50

your bones broken. Well

10:53

my favorite part of Hannity's argument is what comes

10:55

next when he explains why he thinks presidential

10:58

candidates should be drug tested. They do it to

11:00

athletes, they do it to horses in horse

11:02

racing. Why not do it to presidential candidates? I

11:05

mean I guess because they're not athletes

11:07

and they're not horses. Maybe

11:10

should we also make them wear jock straps and eat oats from a big

11:12

old bag? The

11:21

Fox hosts are of course just parroting Trump who's been

11:23

insisting on the campaign trail that Biden should in fact

11:26

be drug tested. I don't know what's going to happen.

11:28

I can say this, if he does

11:30

make it through, which I think he will, you

11:32

know they're going to feed him a lot of stuff and

11:35

we should do a drug test. I'd love to

11:37

do a drug test beforehand. Before the debate in

11:39

two weeks he should take a drug test because

11:41

I'm willing to take one. He's going to be

11:43

so pumped up, he's going to be pumped up.

11:46

You know all that stuff that was missing about a

11:48

month ago from the White House? What

11:52

happened? Somebody didn't pick up hundreds

11:55

of thousands of dollars worth of cocaine. I

11:57

wonder who that could have been. I

12:00

don't know. Actually,

12:02

I think it was Joe. This is the constant

12:04

MAGA contradiction. Biden is a daughtering old man and

12:07

also, I guess, Scarface. And, of course, Biden would

12:09

make a terrible Scarface because he could never just

12:11

scream, say hello to my little friend. He would

12:13

also tell you a long story about him. Say

12:15

hello to my little friend. His name's Tyler. He's

12:17

a little guy. Started

12:20

a local soup kitchen for his community. No lie. He's

12:22

a good kid. He's my little friend. In

12:27

reality, it was Trump's White House

12:29

that had an actual drug scandal with

12:32

a government watchdog finding that the medical

12:34

unit dispensed prescription medications, including controlled

12:36

substances, to ineligible White House staff, and

12:39

later reports finding that Trump White House was

12:41

awash in speed and Xanax. The Trump White

12:43

House was handing out speed and other drugs

12:45

like it was an NFL locker room in

12:47

the 70s. If they gave Trump a blood

12:49

test, the only thing they wouldn't find is

12:51

blood. We have no idea

12:53

which specific drugs he's on because the

12:56

results would just say one of everything.

12:59

The trace will no doubt be incredibly

13:01

close, but as Biden polling improves, Trump's

13:03

toadies are already making excuses for his

13:05

debate performance. They've been insulating themselves from

13:08

reality by committing to increasingly absurd lies. Meanwhile,

13:10

Trump's the one screaming at rallies like

13:12

he put speed in his coffee and

13:14

called it... Jacked up Joe. This

13:17

has been A Closer Look. ...and a closer look. When

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guest tonight is an Emmy and Academy Award-nominated actor. You

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Fargo and Friday Night Lights, as

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well as films like The Power of the Dog, The

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Post and Civil War. He stars

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in KINDS OF KINDNESS, which will be in

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select theaters this Friday and everywhere on June

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28. Please welcome back to the show our

14:51

friend Jesse Plemons, everybody! Welcome

15:00

back! Thank you. I'm so happy to

15:02

have you here. Glad to be back. Last time we

15:04

saw each other was at a party after the Emmys

15:06

where we were both losers. That's

15:08

right, yeah. But we felt like we found strength

15:11

in one another. We did, and

15:13

there is something somewhat comforting

15:15

about having no question whatsoever that if

15:17

you're going to win or not, just

15:19

knowing... So you went in with zero

15:21

expectations. I knew for

15:23

a fact, but do you

15:26

get this even if you know without

15:28

a doubt? Exactly what you're talking about, and yes. That

15:31

moment right before where they introduce you, there's

15:33

that thought of, oh

15:35

my God, now I really can't win because I

15:37

have no idea what I would say. I

15:40

don't have that feeling. It's just... Yeah,

15:42

you know, it's funny. Today, I knew I was coming back.

15:44

She knew I was coming back, and I was like, ah,

15:46

I should call Granny and see if there's anything

15:48

she wanted to say. And I looked down

15:50

and looked at my phone, and she was like, I

15:52

would like to send a little quick note to Mr.

15:55

Seth Meyers if that's okay with you. So she says,

15:57

just a quick hello from Texas, and to say how

15:59

much I enjoyed... We've

28:00

got Ben Schwartz taking us on a

28:02

whirlwind trip around Disneyland. We'll eat a

28:05

bowl of life-changing pasta with Jimmy O'Yang

28:07

in Tuscany, Italy. And how do you

28:09

feel?