0:01

Do. You

0:03

can. See.

0:12

You play. The

0:17

piano bar, My

0:19

pillow case in point. Point

0:23

Point: He in the

0:25

one company policy will

0:28

give me a call

0:30

tonight. Please.

0:32

You know. What's

0:44

up Everybody is. The

0:48

wages gags but cares. Because

0:52

gangster all here everybody on the hose big day

0:54

August, and of course I got Davies, Miss, sit

0:56

next to me what the fuck is. You

0:59

know I'll tell you I love I love

1:01

how hype the crowd is when the guests

1:03

are twenty five minutes late and Louis just

1:05

as to do vog and warm up for

1:08

twenty five minutes at a time they get

1:10

here. they're hyped but it's not like warm

1:12

up like and any other show where a

1:14

graphic nice job delivering. I'm marching and smacking

1:16

glasses off tables and smoking blunts. With every

1:18

get warm up for late night is like

1:20

and when he comes out here I want

1:22

everybody to club and the this is like

1:24

who wants to see me stab a girl

1:26

of have passed one I've had a as

1:28

Dave Smith Liberty Nation everybody. Every nation

1:31

is a lot hour. Of.

1:33

Course you know I'm in love and everybody is

1:35

the ring defending else Managing have been the father

1:37

the year, the human liability. It. Is.

1:40

The. Rattlesnake. Louis. J.

1:42

Gomez. Said

1:45

I use. Really good feel. a

1:47

nice only bombed wants this weekend

1:50

last Gen One you'll I didn't

1:52

want that. It. Went

1:55

on lousy. We get over

1:57

one. Will

1:59

talk about that is. The dominant use I guess everybody

2:01

I think on together for the first time. Pretty

2:04

fucking awesome obey see our. We.

2:06

Are are are. Wow Yard Europe.

2:08

And might be drawn. Set

2:13

the name, We

2:16

might be drunk is not listed here with the time

2:18

or the place. Are

2:20

it is hilarious. Martin on and same

2:22

around everybody. Who.

2:28

Isn't the best? As

2:32

as with pretty cool for awhile any

2:34

of that are, Cydia was on the

2:36

suburban. Maryland. The gay guy heckled

2:38

Arsenio and then yes, ran up and in front

2:40

of them and is like what you mean you

2:42

get a black. It

2:44

was amazing what works and. Then

2:47

I did I say no And a black

2:49

sums get. Re. Was ninety one do

2:51

There was no whoop said it was he

2:53

was like what the fuck you mean you're

2:55

protesting Me: yeah everybody in I I was

2:57

a slave five minutes ago I would have

3:00

caused everybody knows like shut up you evil

3:02

gave. Out others

3:04

aids in here. In.

3:08

The beginning fill out that he will shake his

3:10

hand over there with the the at A I

3:12

notice you're the good guy in the movie the

3:14

Good Guy when say to them right would have

3:17

used as like as a gay system is not

3:19

the A know I know you take it a

3:21

firm handshake with the yes I'd never saw the

3:23

movie Philadelphia my entirely new that yeah I am

3:25

I use it isn't a joke over time as

3:28

never said that is until I was the entire

3:30

city as in a chance. At

3:33

It Flattens, I never saw that movie. Know.

3:36

This. As you seem sad was an eight of

3:38

the twelve when it came out once a Saturday to

3:40

smear you're living in. A

3:42

or oh okay folks could be one

3:44

of those nights said that. Ah, this

3:47

is like a Thursday in Key West

3:49

on. The

3:53

rise of Thing where these a zinger do is your

3:55

throne of as as we fucking we ever meeting every

3:57

Saturday night for reasons gangs we we actually put together

3:59

me. Every week or every Saturday afternoon. Class

4:02

exotic cars get it when I just or

4:04

it's that public art near This meeting has

4:06

been going on for the last three weeks.

4:08

It's the first time in fifteen years we've

4:10

taken the shows as a business one of

4:12

the three meetings. And also did y was

4:14

way of our if one of them also from a

4:16

current a party. Where where

4:19

limit on this is your we just started doing and

4:21

i forgot it's a regular thing. Lewis has

4:23

any second the So seriously I got a text the

4:25

come on I did not get a time or an

4:27

address. As

4:30

it is I: where are you oh my I don't

4:32

even tell me what to go I don't fucking know

4:34

and marches know was here but also didn't know the

4:36

time is that never happened either Whenever the. Movies

4:39

Never been on time for this show once ever

4:41

so usually does sort of on a dirty but

4:43

so he has made it to on as. A

4:47

dozen are reported he others for

4:49

compact so were sold out every

4:51

week as it. Is how hey. I'm

4:54

stones and hung up on i suck and with don't

4:56

we might be drunk. Ah, you're still thinking

4:59

about the hairs your find it will never

5:01

have beyond, but it's okay to have one

5:03

have felt like. Big. Dog and is

5:05

now what I meant. Wow, Do this either

5:07

way. j Big Dogs you guys don't say

5:09

that, didn't even remote regions that we honestly

5:11

you just edited now that we're a pretty

5:13

smart gather. Also, both bigger than me as

5:15

a kid. picked up people that were not

5:17

physically i'm not s usually assists we pigs

5:20

vote. Virus has. To

5:22

be here on Skanks for the

5:24

memories ssssss the ones you just

5:26

redo the enjoyment out. Aus can

5:28

debate in the correct intro over

5:31

the original intro. Neither. Were pretty.

5:33

It's the we might be drunk boy. And.

5:39

It when I said their name high said

5:42

her name good and to a good so

5:44

you did you that of the names or

5:46

it didn't seem real good as as as

5:48

as it is a dumb fuck him I'm

5:50

very very positive or were filming fresh off

5:52

Var Ai episode that we did last week

5:55

where we had our A I sets we

5:57

we we we listen to our own A

5:59

I said. Really and was freaky A

6:01

fox have club great It was awesome

6:03

Dude. Honestly, I'm. Your. One minute

6:05

a comedy from our it was the

6:08

three of us soder and symbol in

6:10

butter early. Next, Ayaz, Be clean right

6:12

now. It. Doesn't

6:14

so he doesn't have a I was

6:16

not going all out Lps I've ever

6:18

seen them soda in my life. As

6:20

you might say said like five hundred

6:23

hours of podcast in the Ai Plus

6:25

or stand ups. Vessels Clown and A

6:27

came out with a minute which was

6:29

like surprisingly pretty fucking with voters Is

6:31

Monica Soldiers was. Pretty. Clean

6:33

actually everybody else. To begin my things like

6:35

what's up creeps death and our Lewis was

6:38

like my first job was like I went

6:40

to a fancy restaurant with my check the

6:42

other day and I had a black waiter.

6:44

A black waiter and a French restaurant would

6:47

have the extra bone in your foot teach

6:49

you to be bilingual. That's a joke that

6:51

I said obviously and I mean in every

6:53

way. The I told it so much better

6:55

than Louis. Louis just

6:58

literally massacres. I would kill me. He

7:00

was. Louis.

7:03

Disrupt describing a I. Lewis just went. So

7:05

the joke is like I'm in a butcher.

7:07

This provides. My Joe. Millionaire

7:11

going to be going to eyes on to get

7:13

book Design is a like we already booked a

7:15

I would say don't know what the as if

7:17

the funniest when they had our. Own

7:20

zones when so to start at when. What's.

7:22

Up many apps and then

7:24

it is it Did Dan

7:26

Soder doing a macho man

7:28

impression some real bad ah

7:31

he went who yamaha on

7:33

and so far is on

7:35

Fargo. Off with

7:37

is A because we'd talk so much about

7:39

Ai last week. I mean I think is

7:41

is coming up in everyone's algorithm, but it's

7:43

all in my fucking algorithm. Now that's all.

7:45

isn't showing up on Facebook and Instagram and

7:47

all these platforms And a big thing that

7:49

came up this week was I guess I'm.

7:52

The guy that trap that Travis

7:54

Cows. Kelsey. I don't. I

7:56

eat. I was. your first instinct was right, he

7:59

is. they didn't I. Can. You only ever

8:01

read it. What? Yeah.

8:03

Okay I don't. I mean are we have

8:06

never said as him as Sarah Woods the

8:08

with his team is read these. Ever heard

8:10

that will not use of a read the

8:12

writing? Taylor Swift knows more about football the

8:14

new one on absolutely she does. Now you

8:16

gotta tell says on the red team So

8:18

where has this tells on the right things

8:20

that the Forty Niners that then seemed? Yep

8:22

yep Forty Nine. The really best are you

8:24

just say ask where all they're all forty

8:27

nine years old and. I'm

8:29

and they utterly they be. But there

8:31

are no the Super Bowl of the

8:33

point. There are probably going to be

8:35

idle Supersonics and Missouri. Mlb

8:38

champion said ah I'm south and

8:40

they play the Rangers. But.

8:43

The whole thing is like everyone's fuck

8:45

him freaking out about Taylor Swift. And.

8:47

This guy be in a fucking couple. But.

8:50

People on the internet have made a

8:52

i Do, the Taylor Swift and apparently

8:54

Harris what does not happy with these

8:56

fucking pictures. So why has she looked

8:58

better than these? First. One I've

9:00

never been a racket zealous left in Toby's

9:02

Voters Men or whatever Light is literally by

9:04

far the best she's ever love. This is

9:06

this is not as big as these voters

9:09

that would have. Ah yeah I worked our

9:11

way of us are it's I'm going on

9:13

with her ass than I thought. Oh yeah,

9:15

I've done covered and pages in the middle

9:17

of a stadium and my a bunch of

9:19

football players are grabbing your ass soaking wet.

9:21

Ya. Later minutes.

9:23

By far the best she's ever look at once,

9:25

so I might be a swift it is. Yeah,

9:29

She's upset. About the sort of but I guess is

9:31

what the heiress Tories. I. Just

9:33

don't understand like they're not real. Why would you? Ah,

9:40

Ah, that's the most sixers doesn't look like

9:42

or it off. The

9:44

United United Just the one where her at woods or

9:46

snows a fat ass and she as fuck me run

9:48

on her bed it as the hottest one that is

9:50

a dark baby. So

9:53

awkward. I'll use Core Value sailing as good

9:55

as an actual picture of her, and put

9:57

her as a weird stadium in Germany. This

10:00

was at the beginning of the war

10:02

says tan it's if it it out

10:04

have where I am. Yeah.

10:06

Not for nothing I don't give a shit about Ai,

10:08

but these are pretty hard photos all things considered. Always.

10:11

Heard these are pretty hot. Is it crazy? Well.

10:16

A younger man. A younger

10:18

me, perhaps to jerk off, perhaps

10:21

a half. As as as. A

10:24

jerk off to jerk off to a

10:26

I poor. But I'm. I. I'm

10:28

not there at all. even if it's your

10:30

dream woman you're watching. An Ai Point is

10:32

just. I know it's fake so it's own.

10:34

The weather is like citing from a fake

10:37

tits. Know. But those

10:39

are still tactile real on the world I

10:41

do not see you could you can never

10:43

went out to like Lois and Family Guy

10:45

I've looked at those are things the cyber

10:47

like Lois and at a big morning all

10:49

those thing than out now August yeah that's

10:51

as I felt. Another premiums as and now

10:54

now now it's gotta be gotta run off

10:56

with no. I

10:59

didn't see all of these days. You Alex our

11:01

Oh My. God. Bless

11:03

well it's else know

11:06

some. People.

11:08

Are being like fucking their tix. there are as

11:10

the town. I

11:16

don't think you guys are going back on you tube again. I

11:19

think this is it. Up

11:21

so you're It's not insurgency. In a I

11:23

dig that you realize you really do need

11:25

the veins. That

11:28

is one smooth if oh my

11:30

tires is is no blisters. Ah

11:35

I feel they have an eleven year old Swift

11:37

used in of Google. This he saves right down

11:39

the debate sitting google listed scrubbed they said due

11:41

to team is powerful. Oh okay well

11:43

as grub know you but i but

11:46

i have an our teams more powerful.

11:50

Were not as it is malware on if

11:52

our seem to negotiate images any fifteen or

11:54

of them and promise ah that was That

11:56

was the Bills game. I'm

12:01

going to go boating. Indoor asshole that I

12:03

get. I could almost jerk off to this

12:05

photo face off of that guy's i just

12:07

love to that guy's face. Or

12:10

something if you. I to jerk

12:12

off is probably if it wasn't

12:14

Taylor Swift's face. Why? Not

12:16

wealth because that I could believe

12:18

it's a real picture. I know

12:20

it's not her, they wouldn't were

12:22

in the service of my favorites

12:24

or not. This whether Republicans are

12:26

being suspended this they really have

12:28

tried to scrub. This is fucking

12:31

furious To telescopes is not happy

12:33

about these photos. was a kid.

12:35

Looks great Alex. Was. Giving

12:37

birth? Css? I think

12:40

So. Crowning. Success.

12:42

I just feel like something you guys

12:44

probably didn't notice. A lot of their

12:46

hands on her ass have only four

12:48

fingers, not five. Like lots of ai

12:51

mistakes that people are looking for a plow. Really

12:53

ticks and girl a fine man. Anonymous

12:56

letters on five hundred hand was of

12:58

those fingers with it was weird fingers

13:00

in that photo Men: how did I

13:03

miss those fingers that has really. Look

13:06

at his arms going into yeah,

13:09

you guys may have overlooked the

13:11

ear low the success of totally

13:13

Unreal as. Are

13:16

actually she is hazel eyes

13:18

in this photo is very

13:20

similarly to this happening telia.

13:23

Floods, Yes, very similar to the sapling with

13:25

Jennifer Lawrence. was not interested about Jennifer Lawrence

13:27

at all of is not a threat to

13:29

door until we digital he raped her and

13:31

then once once I was a part of

13:33

a physical gang rapes I was like you

13:35

know what I like to scale mail and

13:37

that's how I feel about Taylor Swift right

13:39

now. See

13:42

I will say from ours reserved for Lawrence he

13:44

had become harder when to see a picture of

13:46

her face with well with it's own but this

13:48

was shocked is this gets back to Jays are

13:51

going down. That I do think like

13:53

you. It's. The. fact that that was real

13:55

was the whole interesting thing about the center

13:57

i was like yo these are really just

14:00

This does the fact that she doesn't like this

14:02

the fact that she hates it makes me feel

14:04

like I'm a part of a digital gang Rape,

14:06

which makes me like it. Yeah. All right. Listen,

14:08

I'm not gonna go in what you get off

14:10

to Lewis There's four there's five

14:12

fingers on these by the way Now

14:15

there's actually look at that right there. There's

14:17

a weird six finger change No,

14:22

you're right your eyes off her asshole I

14:25

didn't see the pinky far away. I like

14:27

that even though she's getting fucked by another

14:29

dude She still rocks Kelsey's 87. I think

14:31

that's pretty cool. Yeah, it's pronounced Kelce By

14:36

the way, look at the different names on the 87s in front

14:38

of her. Oh good call This

14:41

is weird like Oh Ford like

14:43

a highlight Very weird

14:45

AI are in the hole is very weird. It

14:47

reminds me I don't exactly know but if I

14:49

was like a 19 year old pothead still That

14:52

guy painted his dick red That's

14:55

a fan Niners

14:59

that's either a big fan or that's a dog There's

15:06

something that that's what she thought the stadium was

15:08

out of dicks to stop You're

15:12

a fucking you're into mushrooms and

15:14

acid there's something about AI art

15:16

and AI imagery that It

15:18

crosses over into this weird fucking trippy realm

15:21

that I feel like if you're on acid

15:23

You're gonna get this shit a little bit

15:25

more. There are so many fingers holding her

15:27

nips One

15:29

two, three four five Lot

15:34

of fingers if you notice how many fingers there are

15:36

you're gay that's a test Well now

15:38

I can't show that you got to show it all

15:41

your power now. I'm just over dude I already fucked

15:43

there. So now I get it and now I'm paying

15:45

attention to the fingers. I Love

15:47

that. She hates us. Why would you hate it? Would you

15:50

care at all Jay if people were making AI naked images

15:52

of you? Pull them up Well,

15:55

I better say the right answer could guess what

15:58

the next thing I'll tell you Lewis when

16:00

I had made an AI of me, and

16:02

it was to say the least not

16:04

flattering, it was flattering, it

16:07

sure was. In fact, I didn't think much of

16:09

it, he showed us that he made it, then they posted it,

16:12

and then I started getting comments immediately. Yeah, I guess

16:14

we know which one's me, right? Um,

16:17

I genuinely don't know which one's me or Lewis. I

16:19

don't either. I started getting comments

16:21

immediately going like, damn dude, that's how

16:24

your boy feels about you. And

16:27

you said, that's just AI, that's what AI does.

16:29

So I got an AI program. What?

16:32

Uh oh. I got an AI program, and I-

16:34

No, I didn't. I fit in all your stuff

16:36

and our stuff and said- You son of a

16:38

bitch. I said, make a different poster of

16:41

AI, and it's the first pass.

16:43

Oh. That's

16:47

not AI, dude. No, that's what AI thinks of

16:49

you. That's not true, that's not what the internet

16:51

does. I know, listen, AI's not perfect, I don't

16:53

really wear button-down shirts, but. But

16:56

yeah. I'm counting five fingers, that's you, dude. Oh.

17:02

Those fingers look legit. Well,

17:06

Lewis, no denying it now. Five fingers, one

17:08

penis. It's

17:11

not AI, dude. No, would

17:13

I care if there was AI like, nudes of me

17:15

or something? No, I don't give a shit, it'd be

17:17

hilarious. Because it's not me, so I don't give a

17:19

shit. I really couldn't give a shit at all. I

17:21

mean, I guess if you're a woman who's desired after,

17:23

and everyone's sharing them. What is

17:25

her beef that people are gonna think they're real? Is

17:28

there a statement on this now? What if everyone

17:30

thinks that I'm getting gay, in every

17:33

one of these games? People think I just sucked dick

17:35

in the middle of a fucking 49ers game. Look

17:38

up. There's a statement

17:40

from Taylor Swift on this, because I know, I

17:43

heard that she's pissed off about it, which made

17:45

it rule. Taylor Swift has been heard saying,

17:47

put it in my mouth, my motherfucking mouth.

17:50

Can we play the statement while we look at the picks?

17:53

This is my favorite porn, dude, I invented that porn

17:55

category. Statement porn? Wait,

17:58

before you say it, Lewis, I always gotta give the pre. Campbell.

18:01

I. Don't agree with lot to lose the things

18:03

and then once in awhile. He. Says a

18:05

thing where I'm like this is why we

18:07

are brothers swam your part as as I.

18:10

Probably. Am one of maybe for the

18:12

people in the universe who understands he's but

18:14

still yeah varies with him because it's a

18:16

I think I january and mentor But now

18:18

the category three porn websites that have picked

18:20

up on this trend toward you Do is

18:22

like a lot of porn six do like

18:25

interviews about like how horrible after after that

18:27

after Mike raped in porn their rights is

18:29

just fucking awful. It's and will describe it

18:31

seems that they were raped in. So.

18:33

I find those interviews and then I find

18:35

the scenes that are described as know jerk

18:37

off the the audio of them describing the

18:39

abuse ah me I would like I never

18:41

told him if it fits in my mouth

18:43

and he just started testing in my mouth

18:45

and I felt so horrible out to jerking

18:47

off watching this do partner mouth I am

18:49

have you know and he didn't have permission.

18:52

I hung out with Jesse James twice in

18:54

the last six months. Some was a they

18:56

killed her and ah nice I mean when

18:58

hang it on A given will Sentinel is

19:00

my are a half an hour now she's

19:02

dead and I'm probably. Going to jerk off

19:04

to that in some way I haven't I

19:06

haven't we. I mean look this is easier

19:08

off when a porn star dies you have

19:10

to fucking see or off into the afterlife

19:12

by fuck Iraq and went out to her

19:14

siblings. It's the only right way to celebrate

19:16

her lights The Vikings year on the point

19:18

where business and what they would have wanted

19:20

and of active on and he says he

19:22

says as a jazzy game back in the

19:24

day was fucking hot I remember I had

19:26

that Pirates poor in Nepal or up ah

19:28

yeah thought possesses it is pirates was like

19:30

that so big and hello again if the

19:32

most expensive. For never may read as as

19:34

high as a one million dollar budget deficit

19:37

Amazon the highest budget on a for that

19:39

Michael Bay assist. Yeah.

19:42

But it was an all of this is if only

19:44

they must and that on a fucking comedy movie. Now

19:46

he has a. History of

19:48

is Ah possess it in this

19:50

movie Stars Skyn Festival on I

19:52

have in Stone. Hey

20:01

Saucer Gray on average Stone thought I'm a

20:04

fucking losers I know all of the higher

20:06

ups are there are no bella gonna. That's

20:09

her with a big old Japanese one of my

20:11

something so as they were married right he notices

20:13

rate was married to. Set

20:16

up a boy. This

20:21

is dead end of my era of

20:23

knowing the porn stars. Of

20:31

course the brown eyes have been.

20:37

Apart so. Why

20:41

aren't just for each other's insidious with

20:43

a slew? I guess I'm a phone

20:45

upon their or pirates. That's just again.

20:47

I would go where we we are.

20:53

Not available and so is no thought. He

20:56

doesn't happen too quickly as you light up

20:58

a. Pretty

21:00

good balance on a ship I

21:02

know he has. It's as if

21:04

those things swinging sway. Was

21:08

a why so aggressive stuff will go through

21:10

them. in your product of a

21:12

graph I tasted as soon as

21:14

I had so much. Is

21:18

that it that on a boat you can even a

21:20

some drama mean after that. City

21:24

of a Peg Leg. They

21:27

are Yeah it was a ah

21:29

we are you fucking hurt her

21:32

Boyfriend ot together or he died

21:34

to ah I said romeo and

21:36

juliet know there was funny They

21:38

are is a given my so

21:40

in Tulsa. And I was hanging

21:42

out with him at the showed on I take

21:44

my i was a young earth to the audio

21:47

analysis know what your point? I came across the

21:49

other day again with the funny thing we did

21:51

that the girl com a cool but James Dean

21:53

and we played. She. Made as

21:55

we played her Yamuna software for again Please

21:57

are mentioning. I. don't know her name and i did

22:00

player porn. Alright

22:03

let's play a porn and mention her name guys. No

22:09

she made it weird once at a comedy club with me. Oh

22:11

why? She came up to me and she's like yeah I saw

22:13

that you played my porn on your podcast and like made fun

22:15

of me. We played it on our podcast? Yeah and I was

22:18

like ooh that's right away from her. That's what I was saying.

22:20

The thing I was saying was we played

22:22

her comedy. She did something shitty about us.

22:25

So we just played her comedy with

22:27

the background noise.

22:31

What era of Legion of Skanks

22:33

was this? Kumiya. Kumiya era. Did

22:35

it intersect with the Molly era?

22:38

Was it the Kumiya slash Molly

22:40

era or was it the Kumiya

22:42

slash? Do you remember any errors

22:44

because you were on drugs throughout all of them?

22:47

We watched it all on as

22:49

he does fucking ropes. Is

22:51

that CBD? That's

22:54

joking. But

22:56

yeah that was pretty funny to

22:59

watch her porn. I had like a vague memory of

23:01

it. Because her comedy had someone that was like so

23:03

my mom calls the other day. I

23:05

live with eight cats. It's like those kind

23:08

of jokes and the background just here are

23:10

just getting plowed by James Dean. It's

23:13

like the Cosby twist you know. I'm expected to

23:15

be the clean ones. Alright

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waterboy.com/ Legion. Alright where were we?

24:31

After we

24:34

started posting this A.I.R. people got very

24:36

upset. A lot of people were

24:39

very like the A.I.R. with Jay.

24:41

Not just about Jay. People started getting upset like oh

24:43

I can never look at Jay

24:45

the same way again. Me and Christina haven't slept

24:48

in the same room since that picture came out.

24:50

Is that what you look like? Am I not

24:52

seeing you? Well

24:54

here's the thing like I've downloaded a

24:57

few programs now. I downloaded an A.I.R.

24:59

generator. I downloaded an A.I. photo

25:01

editor which crops photos. By the way,

25:04

ever complain about cropping a photo again Alex? You

25:06

fucking asshole. Do it again. Complain one more time.

25:08

I dare you. Because it's so easy. I just

25:10

figured out how easy it is you bitch. We

25:15

just found out how much his employees have been

25:17

stealing from him for the past decade.

25:19

Crop a photo boss. That's gonna cost ten

25:21

grand. So

25:24

I've been making my own posters

25:26

because I was like I'm

25:28

so sick of hiring people to make posters

25:30

for me. I was like I'll fucking download

25:32

a few programs. I posted the posters. Dude

25:34

people are so mad. Dude hire a fucking

25:36

real artist you piece of shit. You can

25:38

download it a pro. Is there something morally

25:40

wrong with creating A.I.R.? Sam Morley. Oh

25:43

I liked it. Not bad. Not

25:45

bad. Great. I liked

25:48

it. Ahhhh. Dude.

25:52

Sam. An

25:55

hour of fucked up jokes and it's

25:57

called Morley Wrong. Dude that's your fucking-

26:00

Yeah, it's even better. Yeah, it's

26:02

even better. That's why Mark's red.

26:06

Come up with that, AI. Man,

26:10

that dude is going to come up with 5,000 of these. We're

26:14

a year away from them just banging out

26:17

5,000 of those with one fucking click. Do

26:19

you think there's something morally wrong with using

26:21

AI to create like show, like poster

26:23

art? Not if it does a

26:25

good job. I think it did a pretty good job.

26:27

Can I see it? This

26:30

is the question I bring. Is

26:32

that Big J again? No,

26:34

they made that one too muscular. Okay,

26:38

I'll say I saw this. The first

26:40

thing I saw when I saw it was I go,

26:42

oh, Lewis has a cool flyer for his tour coming

26:44

up. That's great. That was my first time. I didn't

26:47

think it was AI. I go, oh, fuck. I

26:49

wouldn't have ever thought it either. I think it's pretty

26:51

good. It's not bad. It's

26:55

replacing some jobs and no Mexicans come into

26:57

the country. That seems like a win-win to

26:59

me. I didn't just simply say, hey,

27:01

make me a show poster. No,

27:03

I fucked with it for a while, created different

27:06

images, kept on putting those images back into the

27:08

AI, kept on changing. Do you know how much

27:10

cropping I had to do? No,

27:12

thanks to Alex. After

27:15

I was done doing that, I had to put

27:17

it into a poster making program to put all

27:19

the fucking tour dates and all that other shit.

27:21

It was a 45-minute project. Instead of paying somebody

27:24

fucking 30 or 40 bucks to do it, which is like

27:26

the going rate for people to do these posters, I

27:28

did it myself. That was that, right? So how many hours did

27:30

it take you to make this? Maybe it took me 45 minutes.

27:34

Wow. So you value yourself at $30 an hour. Yeah.

27:39

You said it maybe takes, cost $30, $40, and you spend 45 minutes doing

27:41

this. Yeah, I

27:43

probably should have hired someone. That

27:45

next one's not as good. Yeah, that's

27:47

good. These are probably all these. No, these

27:49

are making you fat at all, you piece

27:51

of shit. They're making you severely more muscular

27:53

than you've ever been. Mediogre,

27:56

more like mediocre. Aye,

27:59

aye! That's a joke. Alright.

28:01

You prick. That's

28:03

the whole joke. I know. I'm trying to get on

28:05

top of it. So,

28:08

so here's the thing. One of the people that

28:11

got mad at me was a

28:14

friend of the show that

28:16

submitted a post- Santa Claus? Submitted

28:18

a- I didn't

28:20

think the person said that. The ogre got fucked

28:22

up hands. Pay an artist. Look at the anger

28:24

you have. Yeah. Relax. Oh

28:27

wow. People do get pissed off, huh? People, yeah.

28:29

They're not happy. So listen,

28:31

one of the people that got upset

28:34

was a friend of the show that's

28:36

also- that does graphic design that submitted

28:38

a poster for me for the

28:40

tour, the mediocre tour. And she hit me up. She's like, hey,

28:42

I do this. She was like, I'd love to do it. And

28:44

I was like, yeah, submit something if I like it. I'll pay

28:46

you for it. I'll use it. That'll be that. You think I'm

28:48

just going to give you $40 when

28:50

I can put in three hours of labor myself to

28:53

make this happen? But then she- Not

28:56

meaty enough. When she

28:58

submitted to me, I did not love. Like

29:00

I just didn't like it. So I didn't

29:02

end up hiring her to do it. And

29:04

that was that. But I started posting this

29:06

up and then she started posting like comments

29:08

underneath it being like gross, fucking shitty. And

29:10

this person, by the way, the person she's here right now, her

29:13

name is Erin. Erin. Wait,

29:15

hold on. Hold on. Was she- was she- You

29:17

guys are booing Erin already. Don't boo. Guys,

29:20

don't boo Erin without getting like a

29:22

little bit of clarity. She said gross.

29:25

And what else? Well, hold on. Was

29:28

she talking about the poster or your comedy tour? I

29:30

just want to know like what- Well, I have

29:32

a question too, Lewis. Taylor

29:34

Swift didn't like what people were posting. You paid an

29:37

artist to make one of you and you're like, I'm

29:39

not posting this. Yeah. Erin,

29:42

come over here. Erin, by

29:45

the way, Erin is a friend of the show. She's also

29:47

a comic. Erin, you do stand-up comedy, right? Oh,

29:51

hey. Good to see you again. Mark- Mark- She

29:55

was a ghost in the audience. Why don't we give her- why don't we give

29:57

her a seat? She's a lady. Why don't we give her a seat between me

29:59

and Big J? Here,

30:02

pull the seat up, Erin. Come here, don't sit back in the

30:04

crowd. Come sit over here, Erin.

30:08

I brought my drawing. Very cool.

30:10

So Erin, you got

30:12

very upset with me. You started posting things to me being like

30:17

gross, shitty. You didn't like it.

30:19

You were not happy. Correct.

30:21

Why not? If there's one soapbox

30:23

I stand on, it's that I don't believe in Canva

30:25

or AI or anything else

30:27

that takes away from art, especially graphic designers.

30:30

Eee. What

30:34

was the first thing you said?

30:36

What's Canva? Canva? What's that? It's

30:38

like a shitload of templates and every shitty comedy

30:40

show uses Canva and you can use free ones

30:42

or you can use paid ones and every time

30:44

you see a shitty comedy show flyer that looks

30:46

exactly like another one, it's because somebody went on

30:49

Canva and used the free mode. Can you

30:51

pull up an example of Canva? I use

30:53

it exclusively. Can you just show me what...

30:55

Because I want to think if I could

30:57

recognize what that looks like. I feel like

30:59

there's photographers complaining about people using their iPhone

31:01

to take pictures now. You mean

31:03

for a white comedy show flyer? Black

31:05

Flyers look like fucking Master P. albums,

31:08

dude. Everything's written in diamond and shit.

31:13

Is that Derek Gaines or Mace? Oh my god. Every

31:18

once in a fucking silver one-piece

31:20

jumpers. Through

31:23

Frasier. Come on. So this is

31:25

a... That's not bad. That looks

31:28

pretty good to me. That's Canva. That's

31:31

in Canva. These are all templates. Was that

31:33

just for last, that last one? I feel like I've seen a lot of these. I've

31:35

seen a lot of these in my life, yes. Yeah, they're just... Okay, well go back

31:37

a second. I'll tell you what they saved on artistic fees. They were able to get

31:39

Chad Gibbons on the show. I'm not sure. I'm not sure.

31:42

I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm

31:44

not sure. I'm not sure. I'm

31:46

not sure. I'm not sure. I'm

31:48

not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. It's

32:00

just not that important. Yeah.

32:03

It is. No, it is. You're wrong about

32:05

that. It is. You

32:07

think they're gonna pay an artist for a flyer? Good point. I

32:10

think it's important. You don't pay the people on the fly.

32:12

You don't pay anyone. I think it's important to have a

32:14

cool looking flyer. Yes, I 100% do. I

32:17

think it sends a message that you're a professional as

32:19

you have a professional looking flyer. The point is, Aaron,

32:21

the flyer that you submitted was not professional

32:24

working here. Can we see it? Okay.

32:26

I wanna see it. So, yeah. I really hope it's

32:29

stick figure. I did have a few people that thought

32:31

it was phenomenal, but fair enough. So this is the

32:33

person that very submitted. I like it. Thank

32:35

you. I do like that, actually. So did some other people that

32:37

thought it was great. Well, I will say- DJ Miller

32:39

loved it. DeRosa loved it. And I'm gonna go in here. That's

32:42

what they said to your face. No, no, no. No,

32:44

no, no. DeRosa gave me that face like he knew he was

32:46

gonna hate it and then he actually saw it and he gave

32:48

me that face like, oh fuck, I actually like it. I'll

32:50

tell you now, I can't tell that that's Lewis.

32:52

No, I can tell. So here's the deal. I

32:54

can tell it's Lewis, but let me just say,

32:57

Lewis's name. I like the name of the tour

32:59

and Lewis's name up there and all the, around

33:01

it. That superimposing of Lewis

33:03

in front of that, that

33:05

doesn't look- That looks- I agree. Fuck, what

33:08

are we talking about? It looks retorted. It

33:10

looks like I gave a retarded person a

33:12

computer and I said, hey, do something

33:14

with it. And an hour later I came back

33:16

and they were chewing on the keyboard and this

33:18

is what was being put on the fucking computer.

33:20

Well, pretty impressive to chew on a keyboard and

33:22

spell everything perfect. Stop it so

33:24

much. Okay, space. There was a big girl.

33:26

She was like, this is crazy. You

33:29

know what, here's the deal. I did make a big mistake. Here's

33:31

the mistake I made. What I did

33:33

before I made this poster was I

33:35

studied- Doing something nice for Lewis. I

33:38

studied design trends for 2024. Instead

33:41

of trends that Limp Bizkit would have rejected in

33:43

2004 like the one you made. Damn.

33:47

Lewis did it all for the Nookie. Come

33:50

on, the Nookie. Come on.

33:52

The Nookie, I don't blame him. I used that

33:54

line and flubbed it. Can you pull

33:56

out my mediocre to our poster? Yeah, let's pull it up

33:58

again. No, and here's the other- So here's the point I

34:00

want to make and this is a dead-ass point I don't mean to

34:02

be dead-ass serious But here's the point when I

34:05

was a kid the reason that I never became an

34:07

artist and ended up working an office job Instead

34:09

is because every time I saw something

34:11

I realized you don't make money as an artist

34:13

You don't make money as an artist. So if

34:16

a high I'm

34:19

good. You've seen other shit. I've done I can pull

34:21

up receipts and that's also decent now. Let me go

34:23

on That's not the point. We're not talking about

34:25

good or bad on the art. We're talking about the point Little

34:30

kids no matter what kind of art whether

34:32

it's a comedian a traditional artist a dancer

34:35

They will think I can't make money doing that

34:37

and won't try doing it because they'll think an

34:39

AI can fucking do it now Why

34:43

should I buy all right, so I don't

34:45

lower down for a second listen, I will

34:47

tell you this I have a dream speech

34:50

Fucking motivating me man, and I want to get it

34:52

now look I think this is the worst argument you

34:55

could be made here I

34:57

think like this is just terrible your argument

34:59

should be something like the art is better

35:01

when we make it Hey, I shouldn't be

35:03

like, but what if all these talentless kids

35:05

have a dream? You

35:07

make the point that we're in a merit-based

35:10

society Alright,

35:14

let me ask you some artistic money since you're artistic.

35:17

Let me ask you some questions. We pull up your

35:19

flyer Okay, so I got the in terms of like

35:21

the artistic choices here, so when Lewis was scalped

35:30

and then this hat was What

35:35

what did that represent Also,

35:38

I can't believe I was going for like a

35:40

true detective like yeah, you see that was

35:42

like No, I was going here's the thing

35:44

you're like you rolls into your town. He

35:47

looks badass like the All your photos

35:49

was he like ghost dad and someone

35:51

turned off the lights Your

35:54

font and editing is great. The

35:57

background is fucking dope the graphic

35:59

of Louis sucks shit. And that's fair. I spent

36:01

about an hour on it. So if you put... That's

36:04

fair. But I'd say... I would

36:06

say the font is horrible. Put the font over the

36:08

picture of Louis on the right, even

36:11

with that monster, with that monster, with

36:13

that backdrop. It's about working

36:15

together, guys. Louis, you're collaborating. I don't

36:18

get the background. Is he playing in

36:20

the George Floyd ride? You know? Like,

36:22

what's the burning? What's that on there?

36:24

The background? Yeah. Charlottesville.

36:27

Oh, got it. Got it. Louis

36:30

is mostly peaceful comedy tour. Yeah.

36:32

I can't believe you found a club called the

36:35

Rattle Take. Everything's burning. I'm assuming it's Florence. There's

36:37

no... Jay, here's the Jay. And I mean, it's

36:39

fine. Jay is the sweetest guy in the fucking

36:41

world. He just won't be needed. And that's okay.

36:43

This... I mean, this, Aaron.

36:46

If you think that is good, you are

36:48

fucking retarded. Okay. And you need to fucking

36:50

reevaluate your fucking eyeballs, your brain, your talent,

36:52

everything in the world. You're also

36:54

comparing. You're also comparing. You did send a bit of other shit that

36:57

I thought was pretty... The reason I told you to give it a

36:59

crack... Yeah, I've done other shit that's good. I just did that recently.

37:01

She submitted to the brother. She did that. So she showed me the

37:03

things she did. What the fuck is this? No, I will say I

37:05

hate this. Oh, no. I

37:07

hate this a lot. Oh, no. What's the

37:09

thing? Oh, no. Is

37:12

that a padlock? Wait,

37:14

so, Mark, I'm so glad we didn't call our podcast

37:16

that. We were just... I

37:20

did not name the show. I made the fire. Is that

37:22

a metal nipple in the word brother? What is that?

37:25

It's a microphone. Yeah, that was shitty. I do it.

37:30

Oh. But,

37:32

Aaron, I'm just saying, I'm not being a dick here.

37:34

You're sweetheart and you're great. I'm sure you're talented in

37:36

some way. That looks like the template thing. There's my

37:38

show coming through. I thought we were looking at an

37:40

example of the template. You did this to my Robbie

37:42

Bernstein. You templated Robbie Bernstein? Yeah, it was a great

37:44

show. What do you have against the top of heads?

37:47

That's your artistic... You're a sweetheart. You're a sweetheart. You're

37:49

a sweetheart. You're a sweetheart. You're a sweetheart. You're

37:51

a sweetheart. You're a sweetheart. You're a

37:53

sweetheart. You're a sweetheart. You're a sweetheart.

37:56

That's your art... Your artistic style

37:58

is Navajo. I don't

38:00

know. She's telling you. You get

38:03

to look at them right now. You have to come

38:05

to the show. My aim is to scalp comics apparently.

38:07

I had no idea. Aaron, I

38:10

think you're fucking great. More Canva. Alright,

38:12

here we go. I mean,

38:16

I'm just saying like... That was all of them? Aaron,

38:18

you're... So the illustrations. The illustrations.

38:20

Because you did an illustration there. Aaron,

38:22

Aaron, you're at luck. You're... You're... Look,

38:26

she's trying to find some... This one you're trying to show

38:28

at... No, no, no. You also... Stop talking to me. We

38:30

just tried to show a picture of a chick that you're

38:32

fucking, but you keep on going to try to find a

38:34

hot one. I just can't buy

38:36

everything that you guys showed up there. I can't buy everything

38:38

I've ever... I got one. I got one. Give me a

38:40

second. Get all that... 2017.

38:43

Let me... Where's

38:46

that high school yearbook? You

38:51

should never have to show somebody your chick and

38:53

go in your phone. You don't have to go.

38:56

Hang on. Hang on. She

38:58

was looking great this one day. It's like that

39:00

big wheel on prices, right? Just rolling through.

39:02

Here you go. Hang on. About six months

39:04

ago, we went to dinner. She was looking

39:06

all right. There she

39:09

is. But also, she's squinting weird.

39:13

Jake, can I get another drink, please? Fuck. Do you want

39:15

a drink, Aaron? I would love one. What

39:17

are you drinking? A green room, thanks. A green

39:19

room for Aaron. Something she'll never be invited into.

39:28

Aaron, your font is fantastic.

39:32

It's a font, Jay. You can't compliment your

39:34

font. Shit. I'm sorry. Aaron, you know,

39:36

I don't... All right. Quick tip for Mark

39:38

Norman. Come on, Aaron. Grab a seat, Aaron.

39:40

Thank you, Mark. Aaron, come grab a seat at the big boy

39:42

chair. Hey, leave your trash

39:45

here. It's fun. Oh,

39:48

Aaron, leave it over to you. All right, gentlemen. Let's

39:50

take a quick moment and thank factormills.com for supporting today's

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41:00

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41:02

out. Alright, let's get back into

41:04

it. I guess I admire it. Mark still

41:06

really cares about running seven minutes downstairs. He

41:09

was always like that too. But Mark

41:12

was always like he

41:14

would always be doing like fucking like 17 sets a night

41:16

even when it was like way beyond the point where you

41:18

were like, dude, you really want to do 17 sets a

41:20

night? He hustled. It's

41:23

not just that he hustled, it's that he's a sociopath.

41:26

And so it's just like these words must

41:28

come out of my mouth and I must.

41:31

Sorry, go ahead. Sorry, you're a flyer. Go

41:33

ahead. Every

41:35

non-comedian that I ask, every non-comedian wherever I

41:37

am in New York and I ask them who is

41:40

your favorite comedian, they say Mark. Hey, how about

41:42

you go fuck yourself, you stupid bitch. They

41:45

invite you to the big table and fucking trash everyone

41:47

else here. Everybody in this

41:49

room says Jay. You know

41:51

who everyone's favorite flyer person is? Not you.

41:55

We learned that today. We learned that

41:57

today. That's fair. Alright,

42:01

so you, but Aaron, hold on a second, pull

42:03

up my flyer and Aaron's flyer one more time.

42:06

No, it's there. Objectively speaking, Aaron, you really need to... Can I tell

42:08

you, we really need to capture... Listen, Aaron, I

42:10

don't want, I just, I want to be helpful

42:12

here. But we didn't even really capture

42:14

the problem with the flyer because we just kind of

42:17

focused in on the bottom half of it and then

42:19

analyzed that. Now obviously the main problem is that Lewis

42:21

isn't completely in it. But the

42:23

way the dates are all at the top half

42:25

and then there's just kind of a graphic at

42:27

the bottom half just doesn't work. None of it

42:29

makes sense. So yeah, I wasn't sure if I was making

42:32

a... My name being really small, mediocre, which doesn't

42:34

mean anything to anybody being really big doesn't make

42:36

any sense. Obviously Lewis's name has to be made.

42:38

I wasn't sure if I was making something for

42:40

an entire tour just for a single thing, if

42:42

each one was going to be individually what. I didn't

42:44

have any direction at all. I know, I know. But

42:47

I ran with... I understand that. But zoom out

42:49

so we can see the whole flyer. I see

42:51

what you're saying. Listen, right away the fact that

42:53

all I can see looking at it is mediocre

42:55

tour and I can barely make out Lewis J

42:57

Gomas is already a huge problem. Now here's... That's

43:00

like, that should never be the case. I want to

43:02

ask a question. Red on black

43:04

sucks. You legitimately think that... Let

43:06

me say this one. You

43:10

legitimately think that that looks

43:12

better than that. I understand that looks great. I'm

43:14

saying you think that that looks better than you

43:16

really think. Yours is a dynamic illustration

43:18

if a real person made it. Absolutely.

43:21

It is more dynamic, yes. I'm just saying if you're

43:23

seeing a flyer and you want to go to a show,

43:25

if I see that... Hold on. If I see

43:27

that, I go, hey, that guy might be a pro. If I see

43:29

that, I'm like, this is a retarded person that I'm going to see.

43:31

Two things. I'm going to play this and go see a

43:33

fucking... For the point that you made, it's going to

43:35

be posted on Lewis's social media. So

43:37

the reason I put the date is because I figured

43:39

what people want to know is where and what cities

43:41

he's in. So that's why I featured that more than

43:43

his name and why I featured the name of

43:46

the tour more than the name of the past. Okay, so

43:48

let me just say, this is why you're right. Hold on,

43:50

hold on, hold on, hold on. I'm agreeing. Shush. I'm

43:53

agreeing. That why that makes no sense at all. This probably

43:55

never have women on the show. I

43:58

don't know. Lewis Hay is better than you. Well,

44:00

okay, first off, that's a dude. And

44:03

second of all, uh, no,

44:05

listen, but that, I'm sorry. Listen, I'm saying

44:07

this trying to be helpful. That

44:09

point makes no sense. Okay. It

44:12

doesn't matter if I'm posting it on my

44:14

social media. I'm looking out for people to

44:16

see it. Okay. Whoever reshares it,

44:18

shares it, it goes out there. You want people to

44:20

see it. The first thing, here's why this is a

44:22

better post, and I think you can make a better

44:25

poster than this one, right? But here's why this is

44:27

a better flyer. Because right away I see Louis J.

44:29

Gomez. I see Torr2024. I'm

44:31

a forearm spy. I

44:33

have half a boner. What's going on in the back? And

44:36

then I can clearly tell these are dates. This one

44:38

I look at. There's a call to action, there's a

44:40

website. The way I read this, right? The first thing

44:42

I see going from top to bottom, as

44:45

people tend to read when they read things, is like, what,

44:47

a million things? Barely

44:49

catch Louis J. Gomez. Then I see

44:51

me over. Like by Laura Schumacher. I

44:55

see this weird, meaty ogre tour. I

44:58

don't care what that means. I don't know if you're trying to

45:00

channel Maholan Drive or something that's very more. Louis,

45:03

you're better at this than she is. I'm

45:05

shocked. I think you're better at this

45:07

than stand-up. I don't know. I should be drawing a graphic design.

45:13

Louis, you found your calling, dude. Should

45:15

we get back to what really matters

45:17

here? Okay. I

45:20

knew walking into this that you all were going to say that you didn't

45:22

like this. And I said, if I could make

45:24

my point about the point that I was making was about AI

45:26

art, that I would listen to this. And it's fair.

45:29

If people don't like what I make, that's fair. And the

45:31

points that you're making, I'm hearing. Right on. We

45:34

just wanted to be heard. Okay. No,

45:36

I don't... Here's the thing. And be seen.

45:38

No, Aaron, fight more. It's funnier that way.

45:41

We just did AI comedy specials. You think

45:43

that's funnier? Listen, we just

45:45

listened to AI comedy specials last week.

45:47

And they weren't quite as good as

45:49

us. But as I listened to it, I

45:51

was like, they're niffing at us. I'll

45:54

tell you that much. Like, there's only... We got to

45:56

make our money right now. Because AI is about to

45:58

be as good as us. every week. I

46:01

feel good. Yeah you got it. Because once

46:03

they're better than us, I can't argue, you're

46:06

supposed to just pay me money

46:08

because we're real. If AI was

46:11

better than us, you'd have to

46:13

go, alright? No, but we're gonna

46:15

go with the AI. Hold on, hold on, hold on, Aaron.

46:17

This is gonna be great. Aaron just goes,

46:20

so you want me to be mean? I mean. You want me

46:22

to be mean? Because I'll say what I was gonna say. You

46:24

guys are ignoring it. I want to know what

46:27

you were going to say, Aaron. Please,

46:29

be mean. I haven't had a fucking

46:31

girl to be really mean to in

46:33

a while. Louis, look out. She's on

46:35

her second line, Ricky. I'm just being

46:38

honest. I'm just being honest that I appreciate being on

46:40

early in the episode before everybody leaves to watch Kill

46:42

Tony instead. Thank you. That's

46:45

all I was gonna say. Kill Tony's on tonight

46:47

and this show airs tomorrow. You fucking retard. Yeah,

46:50

but the live people are gonna leave and watch

46:52

it free. The live people

46:54

are gonna bounce. I promise you nobody's gonna leave the

46:56

room to go watch Kill Tony on the internet. You

46:58

actually, you guys don't do

47:00

it live anymore. You took it away from everybody. I forgot.

47:04

I forgot. Well, this is

47:06

a weird direction for this to go in. Can

47:10

I say this happens all the time.

47:12

It happens to girls every time. We

47:15

don't bring you on the way. I warned her.

47:17

I said, Aaron, we're gonna, we're gonna fuck with

47:19

you. We're gonna be, we're gonna obviously bust your

47:21

balls about your thing. I was like, just so

47:23

you know, just come on and have some fun.

47:25

Is that what we were doing? I was just

47:27

giving objective analysis. No, it's fine. And every fucking

47:29

time they hang themselves, all you have to do

47:31

is just fucking knock it in. Just laugh a

47:33

little bit. Well, that's all right. Well, if

47:35

we asked you to be yourself, that's where we

47:44

fucked up.

47:48

Aaron, you're very sweet.

47:51

And honestly, if you guys do like Aaron's

47:53

art, please book her to fucking do some

47:55

art. I'm just trying to pay my

47:57

rent and not get evicted and die. That's all you

47:59

know. I will do art for 20. It's

48:02

a merit-based society. If my art's not good and I don't make

48:04

money on it, then your point is proven. Do you die

48:07

upon eviction? Yes. For me,

48:09

yes. What's outside that door? For

48:12

me, yes. The landlord's gonna see your art and murder her.

48:17

I rent a one-bedroom apartment surrounded by

48:19

a moat with alligators. Your

48:22

signature on the check is tiny, but the memo

48:24

is huge. Aaron, you don't

48:26

sort of have a... Thank

48:29

God. Aaron, everyone. Aaron, everyone. I love you, Aaron.

48:32

You're very sweet. I appreciate the

48:34

point that you made me a good piece. And

48:37

she said she appreciates the point that we're

48:39

at a point where we need her for

48:41

content. Yeah. I

48:43

mean, she made a solid point. I don't

48:46

know what we were gonna do while Norman was downstairs.

48:48

She's like, we were up here. Ah,

48:50

shit, damn. I was ready to leave for Kill

48:52

Tony. Kill

48:55

Tony's intent? Kill

48:58

Tony's intent? Do you think they'll give me a minute to run some new shit

49:00

on that? All right. Hey, Mark's

49:02

doing a minute on Kill Tony also. That's

49:05

what Mark left for her before the comment. Aaron

49:07

is great. Aaron's a fucking... She

49:09

was great. It is funny that people are angry about

49:11

it, though. Again, like you said, it's not like... You

49:14

can't... By the way, there's a contradiction between

49:16

the whole, you shouldn't replace any real artist, and it's

49:18

a merit-based thing. It's like, that's

49:20

the point. As

49:22

an artist, your job is to always be better than the computers.

49:24

Yeah. And if you're not, then you gotta...

49:27

Like, I was saying, if fucking AI comes

49:29

out and can be better than any of

49:31

us, then that's the

49:33

point where we don't deserve any of this

49:35

shit anymore. I completely agree. Or you gotta

49:38

fucking get better. Somebody said that, and one of the comments was,

49:40

they were like, well, how about we

49:42

just listen to AI do a podcast instead? I was

49:44

like, go do it. If it's better than us, then

49:46

I guess you don't fucking need us anymore. Look, if

49:48

you really believe that, if you think that, even

49:51

if AI is better, we should still get the

49:53

gig, then you should go start yelling at, like,

49:56

a fucking truck and being like, a

49:59

horse and buggy! job got taken

50:01

away by you Mr. Truck. But people people

50:03

ride a horse and buggy for like the

50:05

novelty of it. And that's what we'll be.

50:07

That's what we'll be. We'll be sad horses

50:09

by sending you to the park. You'll be

50:11

doing your podcast on East 59th. Yeah Aaron,

50:13

that's what you are. You're a horse, Aaron.

50:17

You're a fucking horse in the park

50:19

that maybe will fucking hop on on

50:21

Valentine's Day for again. That's great. I

50:24

just like we're all lined up on

50:26

59th Street just looking sad. I

50:29

think I'm gonna ride the Chappelle for a little

50:31

bit. Just

50:33

for old time's sake. Let's see what he

50:36

has to say. It's all of us doing

50:38

our podcast. There's the sidebar story no one

50:40

talked about in the Terminator. Is the robots

50:42

doing comedy now? All the robots have to

50:45

do comedy. But honestly that was the beginning

50:47

of the end. When you listen back to

50:49

the AI comedy, it actually wasn't funny

50:51

at all. Like the stand up. I think it

50:54

was like one or two. Yeah, the bit your

50:56

bit was pretty good. If you listen back to

50:58

it, it actually genuinely wasn't. Because Mike said, if

51:00

we're gonna be this harsh on your AI, let's

51:03

go through your stuff. But

51:06

you might send me all of our bits and I

51:08

listen to everything back again. And I think the reason

51:10

it was so funny was because we were all watching

51:12

it in real time. Yeah, of course. But if you

51:14

just were to say those actual jokes. The George Carlin

51:17

thing sucked. It wasn't actually good. It was

51:19

at the beginning, you're like, oh, this is

51:21

so weird. It sounds like his voice. And it kind

51:23

of sounds like what if Carlin could do a special

51:25

from the dead. But it's not like any of the

51:27

bits were like, that's a

51:29

fucking car right there. Hologram Tupac happened

51:32

to once. Yeah, like if it was

51:34

that bunch of a splash, it would

51:36

keep happening. I know people do want

51:38

to be around a live performance and

51:41

they want a person, I think, you

51:43

know, I think they want that. You

51:45

don't think it was a video reenact.

51:47

Like it was a Tupac performance, a

51:50

video projected. But also, Hologram Tupac was

51:52

nowhere near as cool as if they

51:54

were to do. Taylor Swift getting gangbanged.

52:00

The honeymoon was crazy. If they were in

52:02

Paramore, start

52:04

sucking everybody off in the front row.

52:06

If they were to do... Fuck me

52:08

on our ass, cheeks. AI 2 POC

52:10

that's continuously creating music as if 2

52:13

POC were creating music. That'd be nuts. I'm

52:16

sure they have it already. They're doing it for sure. I'm sure

52:18

it exists right now. They have 2 POC songs that are coming

52:20

in. I never heard the full M&M. There's an M&M AI song.

52:22

But that's the same thing that they did is they take all

52:24

of 2 POC's songs, they put them

52:26

into AI and they say... Especially if you have

52:28

a pointy thing in your hand that stops swinging

52:30

it by my eyes. I appreciate that. You're

52:33

not Italian. Why do you talk so

52:35

handy? First of all, I'm culturally Italian.

52:37

Are you really? Well tell your fucking

52:39

face skin dicks, colored. Can

52:42

I say, dude, if

52:44

I accidentally stabbed your eyeball out of your head

52:46

in the middle of podcast talk, because I'm talking

52:48

with my hands, number one, hilarious.

52:50

It would be a funny bit. It would be the press

52:52

of the week for

52:55

YouTube channel would blow up. Unquestionably. Oh, would I get real

52:57

ass due to the week? How

53:00

many honors can you cast digital bestow upon

53:02

me? And number two, it's

53:04

just so unlikely that

53:07

you would just kind of think that you kind of deserved

53:09

it in a weird way. No, I would just

53:11

prefer you don't swing your hands and put on

53:13

my face every show bunch. I think you both

53:15

make good points. This

53:18

is like the Aaron debate. Everyone's a little right.

53:21

Should your name be bigger? Sure. Was

53:23

her font sick? Yeah. I

53:25

just don't like that Aaron left being pissed

53:27

off. She was furious. Oh, you guys want

53:30

me to get vicious? I'll get vicious. You

53:32

guys don't have high downloads. I'm sorry.

53:35

I was getting there. Kill Tony has

53:38

more fans than you. Oh, I'm sorry. I

53:40

thought I was on podcast highly rated more

53:42

than yours. It's like Joe Reagan has like

53:44

a hundred times the downloads as you guys.

53:47

No one thinks you're funny. You're all stupid. We're

53:51

all gonna go leave to watch Kill Tony on our TV

53:53

right now. I do think it's funny when people try to

53:56

attack Lewis, but they're just me and Dave are

53:58

just caught in the wake. gonna

54:00

turn this bullshit off and go watch Kill Tony.

54:02

He goes, hey I'm on the show too. You

54:04

just trying to say mean things to Lewis? I

54:06

just gotta sit over here on the side going,

54:08

man they really did figure it out with Kill

54:10

Tony. If they're bad then

54:12

that's funny, if they're good then that's

54:15

funny. I'll

54:19

tell you this. It's a winning formula, it's easy to

54:21

produce, god damn it. Tony wouldn't have found himself in

54:23

one of those predicaments because I bet he would have

54:25

paid for a flyer. He

54:28

really would have. Tony would have just spent those

54:31

40 bucks. He

54:33

would have just dropped the cash on the flyer, artist.

54:36

Damn it. Fuck you Aaron, now I'm mad. Now

54:40

I want to fucking start making fun of the fuck you Aaron, you're

54:42

stupid. I'm holding

54:44

back. Just so you

54:46

know Aaron, I'm holding back from the things that I

54:48

really want to say about you. Just so you know,

54:50

everyone knows what you're holding back from saying and that's

54:52

almost the fanest thing, you piece of shit. By the

54:55

way, Lewis, by the way, everyone right now is all

54:57

thinking the things that I'm thinking about you Aaron. There's

55:00

like a lot of people, maybe

55:02

not as many as Kill Tony, but like

55:05

wow a lot of people around the world right now

55:07

that are thinking exactly what I'm thinking about you

55:09

right now. We can fill any soccer stadium in

55:11

the globe. In fact, now

55:13

Aaron's thinking it and she's faking smiling. You're

55:18

gonna be at Madison Garden if you could fit. What

55:21

the fuck did I miss? Lewis,

55:24

Lewis, Lewis and her got naked. What happened?

55:26

What happened? Lewis, Lewis, first of all, first

55:28

of all, Madison Square Garden is a huge

55:30

capacity. I know because I've sold it out.

55:33

Secondly, secondly,

55:37

I do love that you brought Aaron on here to

55:39

just fucking first up, you don't buy the thing. Secondly,

55:41

you're like, you're artists shit. And

55:43

now Lewis is like, I'm really fucking pissed

55:45

off. That's Lewis

55:47

logic. The

55:50

J's for logic. Took

55:52

some shots dude, but it was busting balls, took some shots

55:54

dude. What did I miss? Holy shit. Well,

55:58

it didn't go good. What? It's

56:00

okay. You're here now. Well, it's not as bad as it

56:02

went. It's not as bad as it went the first time

56:04

with Karen Fian or the time on YQWD with that hooker,

56:06

but... Oh yeah, you've had some... I've had

56:08

a worse show down. I've had a way worse show

56:10

down than the women in the podcast. That's true. I

56:12

haven't thought of either way in years. Mark, this wasn't

56:14

a big deal. Just... This chick

56:16

came in straight in Lewis's shit out. Well,

56:19

now, now. Lewis had a weird thing,

56:21

but if that hooker or Karen is

56:24

any precedent, you guys are gonna date

56:26

for a couple years. So... Get

56:30

ready. You're ready to move in and move

56:32

out very quickly. But then you'll have a

56:34

poppin' only, fans. Are you ready for a

56:36

temporary stepson? Pretty

56:42

temporarily fall in love with a boy. All

56:46

right, guys, let's take a moment and take our sponsor for

56:48

today's show. This is for responsible adults over the

56:50

age of 21 living in

56:52

states where Delta 8 is legal.

56:54

Yes. Oh, shit. Who

56:58

is that? Wait, I was trying

57:00

to read an ad, but I hear someone in

57:02

the distance. Sorry, Dave. I'm a little low today.

57:04

I'm feeling bummed out. About what?

57:06

Do you think Lewis is going to make me

57:09

fat in AI next? Why

57:13

don't you make a poster of my hurt

57:15

feelings, you meaty ogre? No,

57:17

no, November, I will make you an AI right now.

57:20

Do you want to see what I'll do? Some problems

57:22

and put you in AI right now? You should have

57:24

AI'd Thursday and Key West, you piece of shit. I

57:27

was there. I loved the beach

57:29

at night. Delta

57:32

8 vampire. I think you look great

57:34

in AI. And like, I mean, the

57:36

truth is you're a big vampire.

57:38

I'm not going to lie about that, but like,

57:40

I just mean like, I

57:46

am an audio only entity. I

57:49

can be whatever I want. I'm

57:52

like, I get your point, but at the same

57:54

time. I'm a body in a Matt Rife face.

57:59

Yo, Delta vampire. none of us are really seeing

58:01

you that way. You know, like, it's just not. No, but like,

58:04

look into your mind's eye. Dave,

58:07

you will see me

58:09

as beautiful. Oh

58:12

my God. You don't know Matt

58:14

Rife. He's Matt Rife with big teeth. Yes.

58:17

Look, I made you. Yes.

58:19

You know, look at me with

58:21

all my minions as I make

58:23

peltade out of some

58:25

kind of a big thing, a big

58:27

thing of weed. Is the way the

58:29

internet and the computers see you. It's

58:31

going to really break my vampire heart.

58:34

Oh, no. Yes,

58:40

children of the night.

58:43

Children of the night. I'm the

58:46

only vampire that still eats, that

58:48

drinks blood and eats food. He's

58:51

eating weed. I

58:53

like regular food. That's

58:56

not me. Look at the fingers. The

58:59

fingers are the giveaway. And

59:01

my side, my side did meet. That's

59:04

the tale. Promo-go

59:06

gas. Alex,

59:11

for the... Yo, Delta vampire

59:13

thinks regular weed is edible. Let

59:16

me add, just put that image up, please,

59:19

with the promo code behind me. Yes.

59:24

Where is my right pupil?

59:26

Am I so dope I'm

59:29

wearing Marilyn Manson contact lenses? Eric, could you have done it

59:31

that fast? I did it with my fingertips in seconds,

59:35

Eric. I can't. We've never seen the

59:37

Yo, Delta vampire before. Eric, please, I beg you, don't

59:39

take a pass at this. It's

59:43

a good idea. I'm not

59:45

going to do it. I'm

59:47

not going to do it. I said

59:49

this. It

59:51

could only get worse. Where

59:54

are my fangs? All right. Where

59:58

were we? How

1:00:01

was your set mark? Not

1:00:03

good Pulled

1:00:08

a real Key West down there It

1:00:13

was fine It was how bad

1:00:15

did we actually talk about You had

1:00:17

a rough one down in Key West at Thursday night was just

1:00:19

like I went in I was like Don't we do all new

1:00:21

shit? Completely new shit tonight. Come

1:00:23

on And it was two of my fans

1:00:26

and then like a hundred like Key West

1:00:28

old people or old dude They fucking just

1:00:30

were not I mean dude old people in

1:00:32

Key West hearing Lewis's new shit. It's not

1:00:34

a good Up

1:00:37

tight swingers. That's what the audience is there.

1:00:39

You know that's a bad workout room from

1:00:41

like fucking Regan The

1:00:45

rest of the weekend was great good But

1:00:47

if they like dirty they like you know what we had a good

1:00:50

time I just

1:00:52

fucked the first time I got there. I was like

1:00:54

I got I just got in my head with my

1:00:56

fault I was just in my head. It was my

1:00:58

pocket. Who's this landing? He goes what's up with this

1:01:00

bitch-ass doing material things I'm just gonna

1:01:02

go talk. No, I tried didn't crowd work crowd work

1:01:04

didn't work like two three minutes I was like, oh,

1:01:06

let's go back. Hey you old bitch. Is this your

1:01:08

faggot? No,

1:01:13

I Abandoned the crowd

1:01:15

worked after like two minutes for un unworked

1:01:18

out material that stop working Then I tried to

1:01:20

go back to an old bit that I hadn't

1:01:22

done in six months So I didn't know what

1:01:24

I was saying. So I flubbed that bit. I'm

1:01:26

sweating and like Going through my

1:01:28

shirt and I'm seeing my girlfriend and she's the

1:01:30

only one laughing. She's laughing at me Aaron

1:01:35

called me during the show. She's like you suck You

1:01:38

know what? I helped him. Are you better? You know what?

1:01:41

I got more your fans there a flyer I

1:01:44

think you would use my fire people be

1:01:46

there artistic made by an artist flyer Look,

1:01:49

you're bombing with your AI audience. Yeah,

1:01:51

aren't you? It

1:01:53

wasn't good. It was it was it was nice. It was nice.

1:01:56

That was it was a nice It was my first like a

1:01:59

nice hot one for head I haven't had a hot

1:02:01

one headlining in a long long time because they're fans

1:02:03

for the most part so even if it's not a

1:02:05

good It's very it's very hard typically in front of

1:02:07

your people to like bah I'm not saying it could

1:02:09

go like not good, but it's very hard for it

1:02:11

to be like very bad It's not

1:02:14

like what we all used to do fucking years

1:02:16

ago where it's like adders fucking 12 drunk people

1:02:21

Like you know it could go good, but if

1:02:23

it doesn't you could fucking oh my god I

1:02:25

remember I remember a night at CB's and this

1:02:27

is like the night was like Lewis. I'm so

1:02:29

glad he's on our fucking side Norman

1:02:32

is eating shit in the back of CB. Just

1:02:34

getting like heck Fans

1:02:39

know the con we had people know cuz we told him

1:02:41

about Literally you

1:02:43

were sold a ticket on the street So

1:02:45

you're gonna see Dave Chappelle and then you got

1:02:47

into an elevator to a rec room like fuck

1:02:50

is happening They paid us $10, but they gave us

1:02:52

like a veal scallop eenie I See

1:02:57

these had really good food. I'm sorry.

1:02:59

I'm mixing up These

1:03:02

for the time was fucking huge I

1:03:04

like career Five every

1:03:06

one of us J might have been

1:03:08

already like I can afford McDonald's but

1:03:10

the Or

1:03:13

it was no CBs was like a time

1:03:15

where we were like good food We were

1:03:17

like yeah, I could fucking get five spots

1:03:20

a week and fucking get food in the

1:03:22

bill Huge it was huge

1:03:24

But anyway marks on stage getting heckled

1:03:26

non-stop and there's no bouncer to this

1:03:28

fucking room No Lewis walks over to the guy and

1:03:30

goes homo And

1:03:36

Then pulls the guy out the sets over

1:03:38

the guys outside Lewis just fucking keeps

1:03:40

calling him gay in front of his girlfriend Oh,

1:03:42

yeah, I was practicing my ass And

1:03:46

the guy just like fucking he just bitches out and

1:03:48

I was all I was like damn I'm glad he's

1:03:50

on our fucking side That

1:03:53

was cool. AI Lewis wouldn't do that Dude

1:03:56

hey, I would just they can make

1:03:58

a robot Lewis. Yeah They can't control

1:04:01

a robot. Yeah. Boston Dynamics, you just see

1:04:03

it destroying the fucking warehouse. What it was?

1:04:05

This bat robot? By the way, that's

1:04:07

the story of how AI takes over all of us.

1:04:09

They go, well, they made an AI Lewis robot. No!

1:04:12

And they just, uh, terminate it! Boston

1:04:14

Dynamics, it's just me with, like, deer legs

1:04:16

that walk like this. Hey, your knees go

1:04:18

the wrong way. Fucking cent- Robot

1:04:21

Centaur Lewis? I could do a six-foot vertical

1:04:23

leap. He's

1:04:25

in the rafters. That last scene of

1:04:27

P2 where he's melting, he's got a few legs to

1:04:30

land. AI Lewis

1:04:32

raped an artist. He didn't like her flyer.

1:04:34

Oh, dude. Someone make an A- Someone quickly-

1:04:37

I said AI Lewis. Somebody quickly put on

1:04:39

AI, make a picture of Lewis, just

1:04:41

his arms going into the melting thing, giving

1:04:43

the skank hands. Oh, yeah. Great tour poster.

1:04:46

Fuck yeah, dude. Now that's a poster. Oh!

1:04:49

I want to see what Aaron- I'll give you

1:04:51

one more shot. I'll give you one more shot.

1:04:53

Aaron, we don't think you can. Aaron, you got

1:04:55

one more shot. I'll tell you what. This is-

1:04:57

Good or not? Good? The fault is gonna be

1:05:00

dope. Dougie,

1:05:02

I'm telling you right now. Hold

1:05:04

on. What were you just saying? Fuck. You were the robot,

1:05:06

which we might hire. He was the robot. Oh, no, no.

1:05:08

I was saying, back in the day, dude, when we were

1:05:11

like- We do these shitty shows so

1:05:13

many, whether it was LOL, CBs, it was never a

1:05:15

bouncer, and it was like- When

1:05:17

I started a comedy, like, I just had this thing.

1:05:19

I was like, we're all brothers. I was like, these

1:05:21

are not- I'll fucking take a bullet for these guys.

1:05:24

So people would- There'd be a problem at a club,

1:05:26

and immediately I'd put myself in a line of fire.

1:05:28

I was just down to- So I got into so

1:05:30

many things that people fought- My flight

1:05:32

at CBs was me and a guy, and then

1:05:34

it was me and Lewis versus his crew. Hell

1:05:36

yeah. Dude, in so many of

1:05:39

the clubs, so many of them, even like

1:05:41

the fucking- What we would consider at the

1:05:43

time the real clubs, had no security, had

1:05:45

no anything, had no- Like, I

1:05:47

remember this, and I was never- I was never

1:05:49

quite as quick as Lewis, who Lewis, you

1:05:51

know, like, if someone like scuffed your sneakers, was

1:05:53

like- You just respected my brother! I don't know

1:05:56

about that, you know? Like, I wasn't like,

1:05:58

maybe like a lady sometimes. I

1:06:00

don't remember this one time I

1:06:02

was at stand up New York and

1:06:07

Thomas Dale was on, I

1:06:09

remember Thomas, what? Yes, Thomas

1:06:11

Dale. I

1:06:14

don't know how to describe it. He became a

1:06:16

psychic, he's like a seer now. Let

1:06:20

me do a reading of you as Thomas. You wanna

1:06:22

suck my dick up? You

1:06:24

wanna suck my dick up? You have

1:06:27

some family history. What's

1:06:29

the name of his clairvoyant thing? No,

1:06:33

but he's like, you love Thomas. Let me help

1:06:35

this story before I did not know this at

1:06:37

all and I'm curious, but at the time, Thomas

1:06:39

was by the way a sweet guy who was

1:06:42

very nice to him. He

1:06:44

was a gay dude and his act was

1:06:46

being like a flamingly gay dude. He sounded

1:06:49

like Snagglepuss a little bit. Yeah, yeah. I

1:06:51

take it in my ass, my rectum, my

1:06:53

butthole weave. We call him Snagglepuss. One

1:06:56

of his big jokes was like

1:06:59

the punchline, he would be talking

1:07:01

to a guy, be like, I wanna suck your dick up. This

1:07:04

is what you mean. You're mean, it's your call. He

1:07:06

would do his shaffty. He would do crowd work and

1:07:09

talk about how he wanted to suck guys'

1:07:11

dicks and shit and he'd make people uncomfortable,

1:07:13

he did very well on stage in general.

1:07:16

Generally speaking. Yeah, I don't know why he quit. He

1:07:18

was actually really good. So he was a gay guy

1:07:20

before it was even popular to be gay. He would've

1:07:22

just waited it out a little bit. It was a

1:07:24

lot of work to be that gay. It

1:07:26

was. So one night we're at

1:07:28

Stand Up New York and

1:07:31

Thomas is on stage and I'm going

1:07:33

next and he's doing his

1:07:35

thing. And there's this

1:07:37

one table of three guys and

1:07:39

they're like real redneck fucking

1:07:41

guys. I don't know what they're doing up

1:07:44

there. One of them's like bald with fucking

1:07:46

hair coming down the back and I swear

1:07:48

to God it was like they were spitting

1:07:50

tobacco fucking in their cups

1:07:52

or whatever. Gang fans. Yeah. Oh

1:07:55

you guys are spitting. Wherever this

1:07:57

guy is today, he's a regular listener.

1:08:00

of what we do. But at the time,

1:08:02

so he, so Thomas Dale goes

1:08:04

over to him and you know

1:08:06

he just goes like he does, goes to do

1:08:08

some crowd work to him after he's been doing

1:08:10

it with other people and he's like, what's you,

1:08:13

who are you? Like blah blah blah. And that

1:08:15

guy goes, he goes nah faggot don't talk that

1:08:17

shit to me, take it somewhere else. So real.

1:08:21

Like so real. And Thomas. Alright. Just

1:08:23

kind of respond, you can work with

1:08:25

that. Thomas. What's

1:08:27

up Matt Rife? Dude

1:08:31

stop with it. Matt, dude, I'll tell you

1:08:33

Thomas came around at a different time. Matt

1:08:35

Rife found his time where that doesn't happen

1:08:38

anymore. But, and

1:08:40

Thomas just kind of, he was a little thrown

1:08:42

off by it and he was just like, okay,

1:08:44

kind of mean. And then just went over and

1:08:46

just started talking to other people. Nothing else happened.

1:08:49

But I'm waiting to go on next. And I

1:08:51

did have Lewis's thing there where it's like the

1:08:53

Brotherhood of Comics. I'm like nah, fuck that dude.

1:08:55

Like that's fucked up. Like so

1:08:57

as soon as he does a few more minutes and

1:09:00

it was awkward because no one's forgotten about that thing.

1:09:02

But he didn't like really address it that much. It

1:09:04

would be funny if he goes, I'm not even gay.

1:09:07

He goes, what's

1:09:09

he not talking about? So

1:09:12

I, so it's weird for, so

1:09:14

I went on stage and then just immediately

1:09:16

just went back at that guy. I

1:09:18

was just like, hey, what happened over here?

1:09:20

They pretended to be gay. He's like, hey,

1:09:23

hey, you want to go

1:09:25

back to that guy? That would actually be

1:09:27

the best prank ever. Every comic went up

1:09:29

gay as fuck after Thomas. Dude, that's like,

1:09:31

this is the worst show I've ever seen.

1:09:33

They didn't like me because I'm gay. Oh

1:09:35

no, a queen even. So

1:09:39

then Jim Dylan goes up and you're like, what

1:09:41

the fuck? He's not gay. They got a straight

1:09:43

guy. And then that, that takes away

1:09:45

finally some real comedy out there.

1:09:48

All right. Tim and Thomas should have fucking made out as they

1:09:50

pass each other on stage. So, uh, so anyway, I went up

1:09:52

and I just shit on

1:09:57

this guy the whole fucking time. And it just, that

1:09:59

was my. whole fucking set and they

1:10:01

got up they were complaining they got up and they laughed and

1:10:03

I was making fun of him as he left and it was

1:10:05

just kind of like like you said just like the fucking we're

1:10:08

brothers here and that was fucked up what you did to him

1:10:10

so I'm gonna get you and whatever so

1:10:12

then the center of our time he's

1:10:14

beating the shit out of Dr. Jirardell.

1:10:16

You're catching that home motherfucker's beating. It's

1:10:18

not that far off so

1:10:21

I fucking I get off and

1:10:24

I get off stage and then Greg if

1:10:26

you remember Kermit the Frog voice at Stand

1:10:29

Up New York comes up to me and

1:10:31

he goes listen I need you to wait

1:10:33

inside. No at Stand Up

1:10:35

New York. And he's like I need

1:10:38

you to wait inside there's a whole thing going on

1:10:40

and I'm like oh what are you talking about? And

1:10:42

I come around the front and the guys the three

1:10:44

there's three of them I'm there by myself and the

1:10:46

guy is you guys will remember

1:10:48

there was big scaffolding next to Stand Up New

1:10:50

York at one point he's punching the scaffolding next

1:10:53

to him. At his fucking way. At his

1:10:55

two friends. I know that move. Gotta warm

1:10:57

up. I'm like yeah shit. Better to keep

1:10:59

losing. He's hitting it hard. Like I'm like

1:11:01

yo this is this guy is ready to

1:11:03

fist fight me right now. And I come

1:11:05

up and one of his friends comes in

1:11:07

and he starts like talking.

1:11:09

He's not even really talking shit to me. He was

1:11:11

actually being kind of calm but he was kind of.

1:11:13

Which is worse. Wait a minute why are you being

1:11:16

so calm? And they're hit. My

1:11:18

friend Southerners. My friend is gonna

1:11:20

kill you outside. But it was like that. He

1:11:22

goes. He goes oh man I actually thought

1:11:24

you were pretty funny and that whole thing was

1:11:26

good but my buddy's waiting for you. You

1:11:29

know. And I go. Alright. And I'm still

1:11:31

keeping on a face of like trying to

1:11:33

be. I don't give a shit. But I'm

1:11:36

starting to remember. Oh your friends. Three of

1:11:38

them. And there's one of me. No no

1:11:40

you guys call me. Yeah I

1:11:42

have no one. Okay. There's no one there. They

1:11:44

have no security. I bet Thomas starts going for

1:11:47

his fucking belt. He'll fucking freak

1:11:49

out and run away. But by

1:11:51

the way up in Harlem I smelled trouble

1:11:53

though. So I couldn't get you fast enough.

1:11:55

So I said something. I mean

1:11:58

15 years ago. I don't exactly remember. I'm

1:12:00

like, let me see! I'm

1:12:03

a good boy! It's a brotherhood! We're

1:12:06

all brothers, you have to understand. I

1:12:08

was projecting my gay friend and

1:12:11

now I peed on myself. Are

1:12:14

you happy? Is this enough? Have

1:12:16

you got what you need? I'm humiliated.

1:12:20

My gay friend's calling me a faggot. I

1:12:26

said something, I was like, I have my

1:12:29

friends waiting for you out there. I was like, I guess

1:12:31

we'll see what happens. I thought

1:12:33

you were funny, but my friend's waiting.

1:12:36

Go on, take your beating. He goes

1:12:39

like this, it was the scariest down

1:12:41

south thing. He goes, and he is

1:12:43

my friend, so when it goes down,

1:12:45

just know I'm with him. I

1:12:47

was like, shit, you gotta go. But

1:12:51

he's like, the three of us

1:12:53

are gonna fuck you up when you come outside. And

1:12:55

then Greg comes up to me, and I was like, so

1:12:59

that's the security level at this club, huh? I

1:13:01

guess I gotta go fight these three guys outside.

1:13:03

He was only warning you! Greg

1:13:07

told me. I

1:13:10

say just stay here! We're here now! I'll

1:13:15

fight scary! So

1:13:17

what happened? Is there a case on the

1:13:19

wall in case of emergency break glass? This

1:13:21

is what Greg told me to do. Shit

1:13:24

big! Play

1:13:28

good, I don't know. 1-0-2! Here,

1:13:33

take my crudges! There's

1:13:35

one more comic on stage, I think, and

1:13:37

then the show's over. And he

1:13:40

told me, he goes, when they

1:13:42

come out, he goes, just get in the middle

1:13:44

of the line and walk out

1:13:46

with the line of people leaving, and

1:13:48

they're not gonna see you in the middle

1:13:50

of that. And I was like, dude, that's

1:13:53

the most insane protocol for a club to

1:13:55

fucking have. Here, put on my hat, Wendy!

1:14:00

Any good club would call the police He

1:14:05

just told me to Hannibal Lecter into the

1:14:07

fucking like crowd and get away Like

1:14:10

no one will ever find you and I was like that

1:14:12

guy's gonna be a player to go And

1:14:14

I'm so I have I had like half

1:14:16

a beer in my hand that I

1:14:18

had on stage And I was like literally

1:14:20

just as a man I was like this

1:14:23

is the last excuse I have that I can

1:14:25

sit here and finish my beer at the bar and

1:14:27

then I Don't

1:14:30

have to drink out of a straw I'm

1:14:32

gonna really enjoy this one last beer before he's

1:14:34

fucking Dude I'm telling you I'm

1:14:36

gonna trail or trash kick the shit out of

1:14:39

me I am between the two hard places of

1:14:41

there is no one here who's gonna

1:14:43

help me There was not one person who was even

1:14:45

gonna be reasonable and then a person You've got a

1:14:47

couple of cops, it's called a cop, it's a cop

1:14:50

Alright you cousin fuckers, who's going to the hospital with

1:14:52

me? Lewis?

1:14:55

I mean One of

1:14:57

you is coming with me This

1:15:00

is like Manhattan deliverance or something Today

1:15:03

any one of us today. I I

1:15:06

would sure I would call the cops or do whatever

1:15:10

25 I'm 25 years I'm

1:15:16

not a fucking bitch. You're not a bitch.

1:15:18

I'm not I would never call the cops Here's

1:15:22

what I can I am praying that

1:15:24

Greg suggests we call the cops Yes,

1:15:26

yes, I wish somebody

1:15:29

I'm gonna kill that guy unless somebody

1:15:31

talks some fucking quick reasoning to me

1:15:33

I'm gonna go kill this I'm gonna

1:15:35

do some crazy gonna do unless someone

1:15:37

intervenes That is oh that is I can't

1:15:39

do that Who goes to a

1:15:41

comedy show and gets offended and then wants to

1:15:43

fight the comedians though? These are like mentally ill

1:15:45

people. I don't know about eight nine people in

1:15:47

my life I'll tell you I

1:15:50

met three of them that night. Yeah, but it

1:15:52

is what you guys were just describing is

1:15:54

the perfect exact I'm still me like me

1:15:57

now like I want someone to call the cops,

1:15:59

but I'm 25 year old me

1:16:01

so I'm too insecure to either tell

1:16:03

someone I want to call the cops. I'm too much of

1:16:05

like no I'm not a bitch I'm not gonna disappear into

1:16:07

the crowd and I'm not a bitch that I'm gonna fucking

1:16:10

like just not leave and And then

1:16:12

I had another spot So I had

1:16:14

to fuck it was like am I gonna miss my

1:16:16

next fucking spot for this So I hung in for

1:16:18

about 15 minutes and I walk out

1:16:22

And the fucking all three of them are

1:16:24

just there and this guy he's stopped punching

1:16:26

the scaffolding for a while Oh

1:16:32

So many splinters you took a really long time

1:16:34

to finish that beer I

1:16:36

did I took a while. I took my time How

1:16:39

about we let by guys the bag on I I

1:16:41

took it Oh, I had to get to my next

1:16:44

spot like till it was like because I still I

1:16:46

don't want to do this But I also

1:16:48

can't like live with myself if I'm

1:16:51

bitch enough. So finally I walk out there and

1:16:53

they do all of them Just

1:16:55

look at me and the one guy who

1:16:57

I had talked to before I just kind of

1:16:59

like made eye contact with him and they made

1:17:01

eye contact with the real fucking like redneck guy

1:17:04

And then I was just kind of like Guys,

1:17:07

thanks for coming out man Like

1:17:17

bitch down without They

1:17:25

just kind of had a moment where it goes like all right now

1:17:27

like I

1:17:31

think I've just like like Arbitrarily

1:17:33

thanked a person who I knew

1:17:35

had a problem or something after a show is good.

1:17:38

Thanks coming. I just go past them Yeah, they're kind

1:17:40

of stunned. I've pitched out in those fights. Why am I

1:17:42

gonna fucking fight? No, that's the correct down Yeah You

1:17:49

fucking bitch In your head

1:17:51

dude Louis just

1:17:53

buy her poster Buy

1:17:55

her poster or this curse. They on you

1:17:57

Aaron See it was. It was only. Matter

1:18:00

of time before eternal another woman you

1:18:02

outside where did a pleasure to go

1:18:05

out it was real quick well it's

1:18:07

go around the room or samuel when

1:18:09

it when this command or this comes

1:18:11

out tomorrow guess is it'll friday everywhere

1:18:14

else on Omaha this weekend and I

1:18:16

got Dallas, Oklahoma City, Irvine, Ah, Salt

1:18:18

Lake City and and tape in a

1:18:21

new special in up on. Oil.

1:18:27

And and listen, or pod, we might

1:18:29

be drawn. We might be drunk, we

1:18:31

might be shrunk down, We might be

1:18:33

drawn. I bought a Wii Yards might

1:18:35

see Thrace. Never

1:18:39

said I'd rather do it sooner

1:18:41

in. Our

1:18:44

lives of coming up on us is a

1:18:47

feminist as op ed years as you know

1:18:49

this this week over the in Austin Texas

1:18:51

go to was a pod spots Sunday night

1:18:53

or loses almost presents the to play with

1:18:56

a bunch of my friends with to be

1:18:58

doing really dirty jokes as a creek and

1:19:00

became so come out this Sunday that would

1:19:03

have that February fourth February four Sigma Device

1:19:05

in Texas Ah but then I'm going to

1:19:07

be February ninth and tenth Cerebral. Springs,

1:19:09

Sixes and sevens, he Poughkeepsie by your side,

1:19:11

Square Hamper coming up February twenty ninth or

1:19:14

more such him and Des Moines, Providence Red

1:19:16

Bank and many many more going to live

1:19:18

with stance.com it up. This is for those

1:19:20

shows more and us as a my other

1:19:22

podcasts Real A Smartass and the Regs and

1:19:25

also the Zoo yes instructed. The new guess

1:19:27

is it'll be I don't know. We have

1:19:29

an entire Our Library Ondemand legions. His over

1:19:31

a hundred episodes are not available anywhere else.

1:19:34

Must as a bonus episode every week. we

1:19:36

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1:19:38

Friday nights? That exclusive for subscribers subscribe

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Agassiz little.com use the promo code L

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1:19:46

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1:19:49

or for subscribers as well. demarco

1:19:51

know your photos right of shit

1:19:53

i'm sorry did as a lot

1:19:55

of blood inside and outside ah

1:19:57

what the hell we might be

1:19:59

drawn right the bought a hit

1:20:01

out as quickly as the bottom

1:20:03

up enemy

1:20:11

exposition something alone

1:20:18

leALL module pieces added charlotte

1:20:21

ramibo cor results there Dis

1:20:23

the uh... uh...

1:20:28

on the remember uh...

1:20:31

good times uh... but

1:20:33

houston texas all the at the secret

1:20:35

group home of scan fest for

1:20:37

a good room yeah uh...

1:20:40

upon time i'm looking for the first time

1:20:42

i've done like a headlining weekend there so

1:20:44

come on out to that and then i'll

1:20:46

be at a wise guys in uh... utah

1:20:48

danny's in chicago uh... and

1:20:50

then um... uh... i

1:20:52

got them in on the on the list uh...

1:20:54

say uh... that

1:20:57

them art but they need to

1:20:59

be you gotta go to all town hill

1:21:01

house around the corner yeah that's right i

1:21:03

thought i thought i thought that the classic

1:21:06

for the crazy pictures of all i had

1:21:08

a lot of funny bone in saint louis

1:21:10

and then also uh... danny's in uh... nashville

1:21:12

uh... coming up comin dave smith.com uh...

1:21:15

and then of course uh... my thirty minutes with

1:21:17

the smith and uh... libertas all of the

1:21:19

free on youtube and uh... part of the problem

1:21:22

right here on the gas digital network compared

1:21:25

uh... episode coming up in the

1:21:27

next couple days so uh... go check that out

1:21:31

uh... big jay comedy.com for my date this

1:21:33

week everybody san antonio friday and saturday a

1:21:35

little comedy club uh... something

1:21:37

that's available for that i believe columbus funny

1:21:39

bone coming up after that uh...

1:21:42

schonberg improv in chicago around

1:21:44

chicago uh... or

1:21:48

and jfl vancouver two shows

1:21:50

uh... tonight's twenty third twenty fourth of

1:21:53

february the first year you are on

1:21:55

the road Uh...

1:21:57

picture coming.com and was about five.

1:22:01

Am I agree with me integrate? Robert Kelly. And

1:22:05

of course the as just going against

1:22:07

is an hour and that's that We're.

1:22:10

We're. Going to try to edit the crowd were special

1:22:12

the first one of it's. Simply.

1:22:16

We are of libellous system and of

1:22:18

soon yeah. Not not

1:22:20

not official but we as with some cool

1:22:22

I'm excited about the city's documented and yeah

1:22:24

well written on. some are confirmation from his

1:22:26

i've heard of none of this you want

1:22:28

you on effects thread for sure I don't

1:22:30

when it was kind of his name I

1:22:33

just don't read. I need a new player

1:22:35

in Up the Gun. Shy.

1:22:39

Away and get those itself when. We

1:22:42

are some libellous system and of soon

1:22:44

yeah. Not not not

1:22:46

official but we as with some cool I'm excited

1:22:49

about the city's documented and yeah we're waiting on

1:22:51

some are some permissions come from his i've heard

1:22:53

of none of this. You're honest, you are on

1:22:55

effects thread for sure. I don't when it was

1:22:57

kind of his name I just don't read. I

1:23:00

need a new player and up the gun. Shy.

1:23:05

Away to play. Ah,

1:23:10

Well. Lol Feel sorry that I. Insist.

1:23:12

Smss ratio.

1:23:15

Us both just. Have

1:23:18

to think this is the north.

1:23:20

Remembers his heart disease as Dvr

1:23:22

Killzone, Amazon, whatever public though terminal

1:23:24

to able to we I was

1:23:26

watching. Ah, I'm.

1:23:29

So. Aware of this is this

1:23:31

is fun because we we do this

1:23:33

once in awhile with guess that we're

1:23:35

comfortable when I was friends with bricks.

1:23:38

And. And we have we

1:23:40

are we throwing I had volunteered of go

1:23:42

I don't know why you say yes it's

1:23:44

kind of crazy to me when I did

1:23:46

it it they have no idea where dog

1:23:49

and of this is the worst feeling that

1:23:51

I've ever had a my entire life is

1:23:53

in camouflage presume as wasn't in the is

1:23:55

was in that you want to come on

1:23:57

I'm of us who have a timeless place

1:23:59

was sexy got a better your visit bravo

1:24:01

assumed as the for themselves but on the

1:24:03

show and seven years I was ah that's

1:24:05

right a good advice every attacks on throw

1:24:08

come on and hoping I'd really all birds

1:24:10

died. you're busy for a while and slammed

1:24:12

both use an obvious use against I think

1:24:14

it went to my junk mail. Modern

1:24:17

we know we're is it an avenue for

1:24:19

sir ever happened with anyone else you know?

1:24:21

but I think it went into my my

1:24:23

don't read folder on. Yeah. So

1:24:25

ah, But.

1:24:28

We're not. We're not subjected you to the same.

1:24:30

You get to sit back and relax and have

1:24:32

some fun or maybe even babies brought. A question

1:24:34

of your own view on always Gentlemen is it

1:24:36

is the return. Of the lead

1:24:38

you to Skanks lie detector tests. Was

1:25:01

organising served as a lie detector

1:25:03

tests and I visited said like

1:25:05

the same workforce Ah was nevertheless

1:25:07

I would argue. And. Shaab license

1:25:09

job as he quit to shop

1:25:12

retired from comedy. I heard. No.

1:25:15

I don't. Know. What's

1:25:19

orange I? he's got you've got like

1:25:21

affected or something like that for his.

1:25:23

Oh yeah no I saw the the

1:25:25

i'd dump oblivion. Is

1:25:27

not. Since then I wanted to harm on

1:25:29

the zebra snacks just have said no he

1:25:31

no he says know his his daughter had

1:25:33

a surgery and honestly I I text Zeus

1:25:35

guys God bless him and his family I'm

1:25:37

glad you're sitting on and. I

1:25:40

sit on his daughters. Guy loses like

1:25:42

this guy was his socks. Right

1:25:45

brenda teachers or tax of his kid

1:25:47

is having surgery. I ask him any

1:25:49

money and that vote might have sars

1:25:52

that now costs money says ss they're

1:25:54

all good Muslim surgery. was

1:25:57

monuments know i'm no i just as

1:25:59

honored surgery and he had to cancel a bunch of

1:26:01

shows, so he talked about it on his podcast. He was like,

1:26:03

I canceled a bunch of shows, and he was like, I didn't

1:26:05

give a shit. He was like, honestly, I used to care when

1:26:07

I had to cancel shows, and I didn't this time, so he

1:26:09

said he was gonna stop touring for a while. That was it.

1:26:12

Well, he's got a sick kid, and you know. But I don't

1:26:14

think it was because his kid was sick. I think the surgery

1:26:16

was a success. I don't know if the kid's continuously sick.

1:26:18

Yeah, but still, I don't know, whatever. That went,

1:26:20

all of that going on. Look at Dave having

1:26:22

sick kid kinship. All right, Dave, we get it.

1:26:25

Your kid was sick. Yeah, all right. Well, yeah.

1:26:27

This is gonna start gifting rows in games. Sorry,

1:26:29

you fucking so stupid. It's gonna take all James'

1:26:31

teeth out, put him in a wheelchair. I

1:26:35

need a sick kid. How am I gonna get ahead of this? Stupid,

1:26:38

healthy James piece of shit. What's

1:26:41

my hook? What's my hook? Totally healthy.

1:26:45

Damn it. No, I'm not my shit, and I'm

1:26:47

not. Daddy, this powdered sugar tastes funny. Just eat

1:26:49

it, boy. Apparently, he

1:26:51

retired from touring. So he said

1:26:53

he was gonna do shows in LA and around that

1:26:55

area, which is not touring. All right. Nice.

1:26:59

If you get the money, you do not. We're all holding in

1:27:01

so many jokes. Yeah! But

1:27:05

yeah, press on. Hey, do

1:27:07

me a favor, can you write some AI Brendan Schawb

1:27:09

jokes for us? Hey! Can

1:27:11

we do a new minute of Brendan Schawb AI

1:27:14

comedy every week? He may not be touring, but

1:27:16

you know who is. Hey,

1:27:18

we're gonna keep Brendan Schawb's comedy alive.

1:27:20

Yeah! What I want you to know, team,

1:27:23

I want you to feed it both of the comedy specials, and I

1:27:25

want you to feed it 500 hours of the

1:27:27

Fighter and the Kid podcast. Oh, man. And we're gonna

1:27:29

do one minute of Brendan Schawb comedy every week and

1:27:32

see if we can actually write better Brendan Schawb comedy

1:27:34

than Brendan Schawb. Sorry about

1:27:36

your kid, though. Real

1:27:38

nice, Lewis. I didn't mention his kid. You guys

1:27:40

mentioned his kid. I texted him saying, hey, man,

1:27:42

good luck with your kid. All

1:27:44

right. Hey, man, can I buy your

1:27:46

kid on the cheap? You

1:27:49

guys are assholes, dude. Edit. It's

1:27:53

lie detector Test time. It's lie detector test

1:27:55

time. We have to... Mark, you have to go over and

1:27:57

sit next to... I

1:28:00

ah gee Mike as he has the ask you. Control

1:28:03

and I should. I can tell you guess this is

1:28:05

the best lie detector test. This is the shit the

1:28:07

F B I uses and I really do feel like

1:28:10

Mark could beat us. Like. I'd write all

1:28:12

i feel like marks like either now arguing

1:28:14

and his associates yeah there's not. There's nothing

1:28:16

to measure in the who have anything you

1:28:18

want to maybe put on the don't don't

1:28:20

say now but as or any the me

1:28:22

when asking why don't you don't want to

1:28:24

say it every also zero as announced yesterday

1:28:26

on youtube user Back this up. This is

1:28:28

an F B I grade lie detector tests.

1:28:30

There's multiple control things. they they everything and

1:28:32

your chest and your wrists. Your Harpies effect

1:28:34

in your damn thrive is the shit. They've

1:28:36

got Trump on. Said

1:28:39

Israel does the right now they're strapping market

1:28:41

and or an ass market was of control

1:28:43

questions like his name, his birthday, all that

1:28:45

other stuff and then we're going to really

1:28:47

get to the nitty gritty but as or

1:28:49

anything that right now usage of his room

1:28:51

give your questions we have we're five courses

1:28:53

you're but I decided we'd it will like

1:28:55

one. Let me see we will was only going

1:28:57

to give me when he said on monday can see them.

1:28:59

Know. How about yourself?

1:29:02

While already I guess as to see them. But.

1:29:04

I was over was when we were going to do.

1:29:07

Whatever. It's hard to mark about the thing we want to sort

1:29:09

of them. right? To.

1:29:14

I do that it is. It will be a

1:29:16

funny one for me to us together Me: yeah

1:29:18

yeah we were at one was not Miners are

1:29:21

Mormons are as long as your hobby or know

1:29:23

which will assign other One: yeah. It's

1:29:28

I'd very nerve wracking when you do this.

1:29:30

So j when we did this and and

1:29:32

and a the beat a dead horse in

1:29:34

keep on bringing this up but xy like

1:29:36

a bad friends are get on over this

1:29:38

year he asked me if he's a he

1:29:40

said have you ever talk to an underage

1:29:42

girl on mine for too long. With.

1:29:44

What if I did. You fucking piece

1:29:46

a shout or noise right now. it's

1:29:49

Lewis Said no. Lewis said no. very

1:29:52

quick but it was like whoa

1:29:54

i was like as you can

1:29:56

have criminally on here i say

1:29:58

this I

1:30:01

say this every time we should by the way

1:30:03

I love to Leon if he would do the

1:30:05

lie detector test for sure oh dude I did

1:30:07

I don't know I just like open and invite

1:30:09

let me tell you because look crystal is a

1:30:11

questionable character in comedy if the Leah was willing

1:30:13

to do the Legion of Saints lie detector tests

1:30:16

on the show and answer all the questions that

1:30:18

everyone would want to answer I'll say

1:30:20

I just what was the

1:30:22

life workable Whitney was

1:30:25

you get really a newsman maybe

1:30:29

why yeah that'd be a pretty fucking good one but

1:30:31

if you're innocent wouldn't you like dude I'll do that

1:30:33

I'm gonna leave you thanks to the light of course

1:30:37

that's the first thing I would

1:30:39

do let me do the Legion

1:30:41

of Skanks podcast and do this

1:30:43

maybe faulty lie detector only a

1:30:45

guilty man is scared to face

1:30:47

the scam but I'll say this

1:30:49

knowing now how accurate this lie

1:30:51

detector test is I

1:30:59

wouldn't have asked Lewis a question like that I

1:31:02

wouldn't strap into it again knowing how accurate

1:31:04

it is mark you're a fucking lunatic it's

1:31:08

the scariest thing ever I think I think we've all

1:31:10

thought that but mark we're not asking to do anything

1:31:12

that we haven't done we've all done it we've all

1:31:14

done it before help me yeah

1:31:17

that's a good point

1:31:20

he's gonna hold the mic for me oh very

1:31:22

nice thank you gee Mike Sam

1:31:25

would you do this one day maybe would you do the Legion of Skanks

1:31:27

lie detector test one day now we don't have time today so you don't

1:31:29

have to worry I'm not putting you on the spot right now I'll give

1:31:31

you a possibly possibly yeah and

1:31:33

we've determined that is a lie first

1:31:39

lie detector test and you are

1:31:41

the father and

1:31:43

a lie detector determines you'll never see Sam again

1:31:45

this is it Sam's

1:31:49

gonna quit his podcast with Mark every

1:31:51

day I'm

1:31:54

actually I'm okay if he says no to

1:31:56

that question good all right Oh,

1:32:00

you have to say yes or no. Yes or no? Yes

1:32:02

or no? Wow. Here's the

1:32:04

mark, it's got to be just yes and no. You can't be like,

1:32:06

you can't make a joke. You can't be awkward. Ah, who you talking

1:32:08

to? It's got to be, yeah. Yeah. It

1:32:11

can't be awkward. You can't make a joke.

1:32:13

That's my whole thing. Dude, that's great. Yo,

1:32:15

Mark, you just got to be

1:32:17

yourself. Just no awkward jokes, dude, you know? But just

1:32:19

you, without any of them. Mark, before we even get

1:32:21

anything, we never even asked you, what the fuck happened

1:32:23

at the New York Comedy Club? Oh, yeah. What

1:32:26

happened? By

1:32:29

the way, I noticed Mark is putting the foot

1:32:31

up trying to get his heart feeling casual. Yeah.

1:32:34

It's not good. Not helping. Mark,

1:32:36

stop pinching your leg. What

1:32:38

are you doing? Stop

1:32:40

trying to fucking... What happened at the New

1:32:42

York Comedy Club? Can you talk about it?

1:32:44

I signed an NDA, but here's what happened.

1:32:47

No dick go out. No,

1:32:50

basically, they set up a show and they're

1:32:52

like, you do a 45-minute set and something

1:32:54

crazy is going to happen. We're not going

1:32:57

to tell you what. And I was like,

1:32:59

all right, I'll do a set. And

1:33:01

then a guy walked on stage and I riffed on

1:33:03

it and that was it. What was

1:33:05

it? So you knew something was going to happen during your set?

1:33:08

Something, but they didn't tell me what. I figured it would be

1:33:10

like a crowd work thing. They tell you why? They're

1:33:13

trying to go viral and build buzz for

1:33:15

an internet company. Oh,

1:33:17

so fucking... All right, well, they did a pretty good

1:33:19

job. Yeah, they killed it. Yeah, they built

1:33:22

some buzz, but it was all horseshit. What the fuck?

1:33:24

Something said like Donald Glover or something. But I didn't

1:33:26

even hear the eye-high. It's called... I didn't even see

1:33:28

that. Yeah, I don't know. They

1:33:30

got traffic all drummed up and

1:33:33

then they draw it to their site somehow. And

1:33:35

then... So Donald Glover thinks nothing. It's

1:33:38

all to promote his show.

1:33:40

Okay. Gotcha. So, Mark, you

1:33:43

just breached contract. Yes. Thank

1:33:46

you. For the reason it's saying, you never even...

1:33:49

I can't feel a lie. I feel good,

1:33:52

though, Mark, in a sense that the outpouring

1:33:54

of people... Like, right before I was

1:33:56

going to text you, I heard... Like, I kind of got it and saw it. I

1:33:58

was like, oh, it's not like a real... Yeah,

1:34:00

everybody's like was this a Chappelle thing was this a

1:34:02

Chris Rock slap. I was like it's more of a

1:34:04

Jesse Smollett But

1:34:12

you never you never go viral for what you think

1:34:14

you're gonna go viral for you know I was like

1:34:16

oh, it'll be fun and funny, but it wasn't it

1:34:18

was more like spooky you know black people What?

1:34:25

It's like the best pro shop guy in the swim tank He

1:34:27

you know he thought he'd go viral for that, but it was

1:34:29

cuz he had no dick never that

1:34:34

That got a crate he was just trying to go viral that yeah,

1:34:37

I think so Did you argue Mike

1:34:39

did you ask him his control questions? Yeah? I'm doing them

1:34:41

right now you're doing them already while he talks I can't

1:34:43

do it. Okay. Sorry. I thought I was killing time for

1:34:45

some To

1:34:48

seem like you had more than enough time. I

1:34:50

thought it was tabulating. Yeah, dude I really thought

1:34:52

we were fucking damn dude. I thought I was

1:34:55

being a perfect podcaster just now We

1:34:57

killed we vamped while the tabulation for

1:34:59

no reason at all now. We actually

1:35:01

slowed it down substantially Having

1:35:04

a full conversation about them. We were all very interested in

1:35:06

team like is like how much do you? I

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1:35:50

best deal on the internet They should make like

1:35:52

a limited edition one where you get two kilos

1:35:54

It comes like in an awesome suitcase like or

1:35:56

a little like a briefcase of some sort dude.

1:35:58

We should do a limited edition Legion

1:36:01

of Skanks four four kilo

1:36:03

in a suitcase briefcase briefcase

1:36:05

yeah it's like true romance

1:36:07

yes and that's a messy

1:36:09

order I'm willing to do it let's

1:36:11

talk to them absolutely let's do it it'll cost

1:36:18

cost 240 240 loose

1:36:20

you got it yeah guys we're trying to get

1:36:22

a little taste on the top you know

1:36:24

what I mean yo

1:36:27

creative.com all right where were we yeah this is

1:36:29

terrible we put in Mark Mark were you paid

1:36:31

were you paid a lot more money no

1:36:34

money was involved no money

1:36:36

yeah there's my first question let's

1:36:38

see if that lit up or not

1:36:41

the most of it was it he had to go do a 45 minute set

1:36:44

for a thing like a like a

1:36:46

I know if it's all things to be like

1:36:48

a my heart thing to believe here is that

1:36:51

marked it a 45 minute set for no money

1:36:54

he got paid that makes no sense it was a

1:36:56

packed house and I was getting ready for the beacon

1:36:59

oh yeah I

1:37:02

like you oh my pictures getting ready for some bacon

1:37:05

some bacon folks

1:37:07

get it kind of sounds like beacon oh

1:37:10

that's enough to ruin a friendship over are

1:37:12

you talking are you talking to your fat

1:37:14

AI skeleton Jay how's

1:37:16

there a fat skeleton my skeletons not fat

1:37:18

I didn't say that I my prompt

1:37:20

was Jay big

1:37:23

bone how do my skeleton have a fucking

1:37:25

full stomach that is a fair point it's

1:37:28

impossible it in god

1:37:35

damn it I made new AI for this week

1:37:37

too for the Friday night hang great out of

1:37:39

my now I

1:37:41

will let you compete every week for the Friday

1:37:43

night hang art I just made new AI art

1:37:46

that I fucking crushed it you gotta see it's

1:37:48

so good is it that's

1:37:50

a better one right now it's pulling up

1:37:52

on the screen show it I'm

1:37:55

gonna order a full minute and

1:37:58

it's not I don't just fucking type in a promo The capital

1:38:00

problems. They don't like him I said that.

1:38:02

another prompt wow that are that's an artist

1:38:04

or assess assess Louis I'd like to give

1:38:07

you forty dollars with an effort dodgy honestly

1:38:09

of feels about right. I paid a hundred

1:38:11

and forty dollars a I programs try to

1:38:13

make something bad of Louis and then gave

1:38:15

up in three minutes and just a similar

1:38:18

photo shop your face on. Get a. Hundred

1:38:22

fifty dollars Assess assess the paid decision

1:38:24

not to programs Sophia this one. How

1:38:26

much with a hammer see pay for

1:38:28

the takes is a dick. The. Up

1:38:30

that one the don't get it. You.

1:38:33

Don't get it. No complete issues and

1:38:35

made or I didn't make any sense

1:38:37

to me you bringing pictures they said

1:38:39

you could say I. Didn't.

1:38:41

Do that without that didn't And then it made.

1:38:44

Yeah, bring a picture that it didn't look anything

1:38:46

at all as. Far

1:38:48

as a that's all right, Is

1:38:51

Mark ready? Or. Iran. One.

1:38:53

More one on Arsenal as a little

1:38:55

while and a be interesting success. As

1:38:57

smart I remember we can be lied

1:38:59

about everything. So far it's not a

1:39:02

lie if you believe in. You

1:39:04

get their advantage. Census.

1:39:09

In you think they've said she

1:39:11

says says users is nonsense for

1:39:14

granted and way more exciting on

1:39:16

the first forty eight. Or

1:39:21

it. So. Alone.

1:39:24

The. I just made loses a little.

1:39:26

Furry eyebrows is. Where.

1:39:29

The Boonies. I am. I.

1:39:32

Had said I've spent so much time on this program at

1:39:34

this. Point it. Doesn't work at work.

1:39:36

I so would you rather picture Louis without

1:39:38

support up. And.

1:39:41

Said too much for questioning Lives as the front

1:39:43

in as hangars where he served to put I

1:39:46

believe you the skanks words above in the logo

1:39:48

on it was you be the image behind the

1:39:50

Friday night. And.

1:39:52

Here a a.

1:39:55

S. is

1:39:58

it a micro how how get it might have Dude

1:40:00

the fire hang in a pocket. There's that a

1:40:02

fucking sick Aaron Aaron

1:40:04

you stupid bitch Show

1:40:08

me is it not awesome Show

1:40:10

me what you could do. She's gonna say I

1:40:12

have two problems here. Can you say them? What

1:40:15

I don't love it. There shouldn't be so much

1:40:17

rope around the microphone You can't tell it's a

1:40:19

microphone. So it makes no sense and two because

1:40:21

I'm aware of where this Microphone

1:40:24

news came from I know even though it's

1:40:26

not there right underneath. It is a big

1:40:28

fat Jay skeleton Because

1:40:32

if you bring that the other picture that's where

1:40:34

the news was right about Jay

1:40:40

You're very very insecure dude, huh?

1:40:42

You're very insecure very mean to you. I have you

1:40:44

ready. You're very mean to your friend I never wait.

1:40:46

I never That

1:40:49

news couldn't hold Jay. I Never

1:40:54

assigned The character

1:40:59

We're ready we're all good we're good to go all right. Let's go all

1:41:01

right First

1:41:04

of all get this over with start Mark

1:41:07

Norman have you ever done

1:41:10

anything gay? Yes

1:41:17

Don't worry about explaining it. Yes I Think

1:41:23

Mark is the fact Mark

1:41:25

is the fact you don't want a story. I'm

1:41:27

gay I'm

1:41:31

gonna tell the story now right we have a manager said

1:41:33

before the I will have jerked off in the

1:41:35

same room with a Bunch of guys So

1:41:37

Lewis used to host those On

1:41:40

the joke Lewis used to host those those are

1:41:42

the priest gangst meetings and Saturdays

1:41:45

at noon. Yeah And

1:41:49

I was getting roadhead on a prom bus

1:41:51

and My friend picked the girls

1:41:53

head up jerked me off for two seconds and put her

1:41:55

head down Yeah, Your

1:41:57

friend did that. He wanted to keep him hard. Am

1:42:01

I good bread says about or

1:42:03

the best friend that flag day?

1:42:05

I would not consider that day

1:42:07

and it's like more that move

1:42:09

it fits the suspects by the

1:42:11

way. by the way Martin so

1:42:13

on as because is listed as

1:42:16

yourself with other dude. yup he

1:42:18

threw that one in the grocery

1:42:20

on Sophos City to jokes as

1:42:22

pretty honest. Bromberg.

1:42:28

And they are. It was. Who.

1:42:31

Isn't going to hurt? Ah, are you

1:42:33

a while I was Are we ready

1:42:35

much? Do. You like

1:42:37

working with Joe lists better

1:42:40

than Sam O of Joe

1:42:42

is. Now

1:42:45

sorry. Sam

1:42:48

here. So no, it's

1:42:50

not. Last. Hour

1:42:52

ago as much as a

1:42:54

marker the be so fern

1:42:56

grows heard of assess I

1:42:58

could have done without the

1:43:00

a disclaimer on a. Weekend

1:43:06

at an illness re. we're really

1:43:08

not live Now I'm. Mark.

1:43:14

Norman? oh do you regret not inviting

1:43:16

and easily those guys throw out of

1:43:18

of of have a lower. Than.

1:43:21

Second, Mark. Do

1:43:23

you regret not inviting and he the legion of

1:43:25

skanks? Your wedding. Know.

1:43:29

Ah, That

1:43:32

hurt more than not being invited to the when.

1:43:35

I believe I believe him every guess. The sauce,

1:43:37

money. For

1:43:39

that are so I understand the biggest costs

1:43:41

more money. Out. Of the good guys were

1:43:43

wedding folk. Festival. I

1:43:46

preface that ally. Ready

1:43:53

for a second? I days ago, the next one.

1:43:57

where are we taking this one out yeah i

1:43:59

was even other Oh,

1:44:01

I want to ask that one.

1:44:03

Yeah, that's right. That's me from you, dude. No,

1:44:06

you pussy. All right, fine. I Didn't

1:44:09

write this question For the

1:44:11

record. Let me know when we're

1:44:13

ready. We're ready. Okay, mark.

1:44:15

Hmm Do you believe that

1:44:18

Jill Rogan is the weak link in the

1:44:20

protect our parks? Well, hold on Ari Ari's

1:44:24

got some bad days Done

1:44:34

when you're ready, sorry

1:44:46

Mark yeah, are

1:44:49

you racist? No,

1:44:52