In this episode, I spoke to Cassandra Rix, the owner and chief leadership coach at The Resonance Coach. Our conversation centered around understanding individual motivations and expectations within group efforts, especially in the context of company acquisitions. I think you will find the insights applicable to many situations at work and at home.

Cass's Background and Expertise

Cass has spent over 20 years working with businesses either in the process of being acquired or on the tail end of an acquisition. She specializes in service agencies selling expertise and time, such as consultancies and communication specialists. Her focus now is on helping founders looking for investment or seeking an exit strategy, and the businesses interested in investing in them. She believes that many acquisitions fail despite thorough due diligence because the underlying human motivations and behaviors of the individuals involved aren't fully understood.

Understanding Motivations

While people may outwardly agree on a common goal, such as selling a company, their underlying reasons can be very different. These differences will show up during times of significant change (after the investment or acquisition). Everyone’s motivations are influenced by their own personal experiences and beliefs, which drive their decisions and behaviors.

Cass's own interest in understanding motivations stems from her background in sales and marketing, where she worked with buyers and wanted to comprehend why people made specific purchasing decisions. Our beliefs drive our behavior, and it's crucial to recognize that we often make assumptions about others' motivations based on our own perspectives. We expect them to act the way we would. I’d like to look deeper into this in future episodes.

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The Challenges of Assumptions

It’s risky to assume that everyone's motivations are similar. Cass used the analogy of wearing someone else's shoes – just because you're in their shoes doesn't mean you understand their journey. This is especially relevant in business settings, where assuming that all founders or team members share the same motivations can lead to conflicts and dysfunction.

Cass illustrated this with an example of how misaligned expectations can derail an acquisition. For instance, if one founder decides they have enough financial security post-acquisition and leaves, the remaining team dynamics can be severely disrupted:

So the things that fall apart there is, well, we all think we've agreed to sell this business or invest, have investment in this business so that we can carry on.

What does carry on mean? What if that means that one person has generated enough income in the acquisition process, not to need to stay throughout the earn-out. And suddenly you go from a leadership team or founding team of four to three or three to two. What if the other two people in that business were beautifully balanced by that third individual?

And so the relationship that they're left with is dysfunctional. They don't really like each other. They don't know how to communicate with each other. They've never had to without that third person as a foil. And probably the most flawed thing is the assumption that the rest of the business, whether you're talking about another twenty people, fifty people or thousands of people, the assumption that those people don't know.

This scenario can lead to conflicts and a decline in business performance, which affects everyone's livelihoods.

The Role of Vulnerability and Communication

As individuals climb the corporate ladder, they often create personas that might not align with their true selves. This can lead to exhaustion and dissatisfaction, as they try to maintain an identity that doesn't reflect their genuine motivations.

Cass said that vulnerability is not a weakness but a strength. When leaders and team members are open about their true motivations and feelings, it fosters understanding and empathy. She shared that when people reveal their authentic selves, it often leads to relief and better teamwork. This openness can help teams navigate change more effectively, as everyone understands each other's perspectives and can support one another.

Practical Implications and Real-World Examples

Cass pointed out how small habits and cultural norms, such as which hand you use to hold a fork, can shape our perspectives and lead to emotional attachments about how things should be done. If we feel that strongly about cutlery, imagine the intensity of our feelings about approaches to business where the stakes are much higher.

Translating this to business settings, she explained how deeply ingrained beliefs about success and behavior can affect decision-making and team dynamics. Differing motivations for making money can lead to misunderstandings. Some people might want to make money to retire early and spend time with family, while others aim to leave a legacy or achieve a prestigious position. These differing goals and expectations can create friction if not openly discussed and understood. Whether you are the acquiring/investing company or the company being invested in, understanding these things can make a huge difference in your long-term happiness (money, legacy…).

The Courage to Be Disliked

Our conversation concluded with a serious reflection on the importance of self-awareness and the courage to be true to oneself. Cass recommended the book "The Courage to Be Disliked," which explores the concept that what others think of us often reflects their own beliefs and insecurities. She encouraged leaders and individuals to focus on their own motivations and well-being rather than constantly worrying about others' opinions.

Her final thought: "The most liberating two words in the English language are 'let them...'" Letting go of the need for external validation and embracing one's true self can lead to greater fulfillment and success, both personally and professionally.

Let them.

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