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Welcome to Couples Counseling with Chelsea

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hand Job. I'm here with my friends yah Yah

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and Sam. Okay Hi's

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but oh my god, guess we have a special

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tree. We created a new segment

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for the podcast and the air minisodes

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where we have different couples come on and we

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talk to you guys. We go through some of the

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things that I know are problems

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between the relationship because of the time that I've spent

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with them, and some other things

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that you guys provided us with which might

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be.

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You know, recurring problems.

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Okay, now, just this is We're

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with Sam and yah Yah finally in one room, and

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both of both Sam and

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yah Yah have been on the podcast separate, individually,

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and now they are sitting across

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from me with a bottle of patron Repisodo.

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Yeah. I was supposed to be Don Julio, but anyway.

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I was kind of disappointed.

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Yeah.

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Sorry, at least I called

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for alcohol. I knew you were gonna want alcohol, you know.

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Okay, so girls, we're gonna start

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with my favorite topic. Sam fucking hates

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when I do this shit because I riled yah Ya

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up. And for the those of you who may have missed

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Yahya's episode. She's a fucking piece

1:04

of work. Okay, you have to know her.

1:06

You can hear her.

1:07

Once you hear her talk for five minutes, you're gonna know what I'm

1:09

talking about.

1:10

But she is tricky.

1:12

She is tricky, and she is all woman, and

1:15

she is wearing the pants at the same time.

1:18

And I mean, Sam, I'm wearing the pants.

1:20

Yeah, you are.

1:21

You're wearing wearing you know, Sam seems

1:23

like she's wearing the pants. But really, through

1:25

your psychodrama and the

1:27

way you are, you are wearing the pants.

1:29

Wow, thank you, Chelsea.

1:30

Do you agree with that?

1:31

I do? Yeah, I absolutely

1:33

Do you agree with that?

1:35

Yes, you're very manipulative.

1:39

Well, I don't mean that in a negative sense.

1:41

Well, how do I have am I supposed to take that?

1:45

Manipulative is not the right that's not a good

1:47

term. That's not the right word.

1:49

She knows how to wield her power.

1:51

Yeah, manipulative.

1:56

I wouldn't say you're manipulative at all, baby. I would

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just say you're aware of your.

1:59

Feminine Yes, that's

2:01

a great way to put it.

2:02

Well, then in that case, think you're a manipulative

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too, because you are aware of.

2:06

Your feminine whiles.

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I don't know if I'm as aware of my feminine

2:10

wiles as you are. Mine's

2:12

a different thing. Mine's more of a masculine energy.

2:14

Yours is a very feminine energy. And

2:16

I think that's good because that makes you like a real You're

2:19

like very womanly.

2:20

I would say, Okay, I like that.

2:23

I like that.

2:23

Yeah, like yeah, I mean I was looking at her titty,

2:26

so I was like, oh, you.

2:27

Too, I like that too.

2:29

But one of my favorite parts of your relationship

2:31

is that you guys have broken up

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and gotten back together so many times, because I think

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that's a sign of a real You're tried and

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true, you've run the gamut of time. And

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Sam doesn't like this subject matter because she's

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guilty of a lot of chainery

2:46

bad things, right right, yeah,

2:48

yeah, bad things, and they're past

2:50

that part of their relationship. But I think

2:52

it's always fun to go back and really

2:54

you kind.

2:55

Of to relieve the trauma.

2:57

Cool, all right, let's go

3:01

okay, well noble.

3:07

But you you have to tell me your

3:09

perspective of from that, like how

3:11

it was. You don't have to get into details, but

3:14

how you've grown and how your relationship has

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evolved from then. To now and

3:18

like your trust level and your

3:21

love level, all of it.

3:22

Okay, would you like to start?

3:24

Oh no, she doesn't. Ever, she doesn't

3:26

even want to finish. She doesn't want to start or finish.

3:28

I think that we had to we had to grow back

3:30

trust. But there are different

3:32

times where I've lost Marius trust

3:35

as well, so I think it was a mutual

3:37

thing, just at different times. Hers happened

3:39

later on in our relationship, and mind happened in the beginning

3:41

of our relationship. M hm.

3:43

And did you learn your lessons

3:46

so to speak, when you got caught?

3:48

Oh no, because I didn't get caught because I'm smart, So

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I didn't do anything. We weren't together technically,

3:53

in my what we weren't together

3:55

technically weren't we were dating, We weren't in an

3:57

exclusive relationship.

3:59

Right, Okay, I disagree,

4:01

boy, okay.

4:02

But well tell us your version of things.

4:04

Five versus of the things is. I came to Atlanta, we

4:06

said that we were going to be together. That's

4:09

what we said. And then I

4:11

left to go home under

4:13

that understanding, And in two

4:15

weeks you were dating somebody else

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and lying to me about it and hiding

4:20

it. And I had to find out about it through

4:23

a friend of ours.

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So I mean that's what happened.

4:27

Yeah, but see it doesn't really that it

4:29

kind of happened, but it didn't really happen that

4:31

way.

4:32

Okay, but no, respond

4:34

to what she's saying, Well, my version is around,

4:37

like Stevie Wonder, You're like, what,

4:39

what's.

4:40

My version is? We weren't together, like we

4:42

were dating, but we weren't. But why when

4:44

we said that.

4:45

We were going to be there we were

4:47

don't get But you can't agree to something

4:50

and then go, well, the bitch a here. So

4:52

what I agreed to doesn't matter, and I don't have to address

4:54

what I agree to. I could just go on and do whatever

4:57

the fuck I want and lie about it.

4:58

Hey.

4:59

Hey, hey, we've already been down there broad see see

5:01

look I've already apologized.

5:02

We're past this.

5:03

Okay, Well, we're just we're

5:06

just revisiting trauma.

5:08

We just gotta say what you did. It's not

5:10

me saying it, like doesn't know what you.

5:11

Did, yeah, because you know what you could say, yeah, y'all it's

5:13

like, yeah, I'm totally guilty, and I.

5:14

Said that I wasn't a good person in the beginning of

5:17

our relationship. Okay, well,

5:19

so not when we worked together, because that is

5:21

that is skirting some of what you did. Okay,

5:24

Sam, feels like we were together, and so

5:26

we were together at that time. In

5:28

my head, I don't feel like we

5:31

was really together.

5:33

I don't feel like that.

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But you know, I did probably

5:36

tell her we were together.

5:38

I can admit that.

5:39

Okay, great, that's progress.

5:41

Thanks, Now it's over

5:43

forever, yes see?

5:50

And how did you regain your trust

5:52

for y'all? Y'all after that happened? Sam?

5:54

Oh, she never did anything

5:56

like that again.

5:57

No, that's not true either. Oh my god,

6:00

well it's not.

6:00

Are you just finding out about this too? Mm

6:03

hmm.

6:04

I don't think you're a good therapist.

6:08

You feel like after that that was the only time

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you ever did anything rock

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shady like on that level,

6:16

or you do?

6:18

You are?

6:19

But that leaves yeah, yeah, even if you weren't up

6:21

to something, it seems like you're up

6:23

to something.

6:24

But I'm not.

6:25

I know you might not be, but it seems like you are.

6:27

I'm not because you have that flirtatious way

6:29

of going through life where you're like there's like

6:31

a twinkle in your eye, like you've got a sequel.

6:34

I'm just happy. Oh my gosh,

6:36

that's just happiness. I don't know, and I don't

6:38

intentionally flirt. I may just be like,

6:40

hey, I don't flirt like that. Well, if you feel like you

6:42

didn't ever do anything ever again.

6:45

Not on that level.

6:46

You were flirting with Daniel, Vanessa's boyfriend.

6:48

And my god Daniel.

6:50

She said I'm gonna fuck Daniel. I was kidding.

6:53

I really was not gonna Daniel.

6:55

I was just fucking with Vanessa to piss her off.

6:57

But I flirt. I was playing.

6:59

You said you were going to fuck Daniel too. I did.

7:02

That would have been fun. That would have been really

7:04

something that I would have liked to see. Okay,

7:07

with this kind of relationship,

7:09

you've managed to get through all of that ship right,

7:12

You've circled back to each other how many times? To

7:14

Mary's account,

7:17

what was the longest time apart you spend when you

7:19

broke up when you got married, Sam, But.

7:21

I think, yes, that's the longest time.

7:23

Well no, because I can we weren't

7:25

together before that, see, so see,

7:28

and that's what I feel like.

7:29

I feel like we was together. You was just tripping.

7:31

We were together before I got married.

7:34

In my head when I called you

7:36

and said.

7:39

Be with me and you said no. But

7:41

in my head we knew it was always it was

7:44

not together.

7:44

I formerly said, hey, I'm

7:46

tired of playing games and I just want to be with you,

7:49

and you said, I'm still having my fun.

7:51

Girl.

7:51

I've definitely heard this version before, so it must

7:53

be true.

7:54

So then we weren't together, but

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we knew that we had an understanding

7:59

that we was going to be together.

8:00

Oh we did, Yes, we did. I

8:02

did not have that black date do it.

8:05

Yeah, But it sounds like you had an understanding

8:07

with yourself, and I feel

8:09

like you probably do that a lot. You

8:11

have had a whole conversation with yourself and you're like,

8:13

this is what's going to happen. Oh, I have an update

8:15

for you that reminds me of asking

8:18

people to leave saying thank you.

8:20

Remember how we.

8:21

Were practicing how to get people out of your house at

8:23

a dinner party, and whose idea was

8:25

it?

8:25

Was?

8:25

It?

8:25

Yours?

8:25

To stand up and say, well that was oh no, we were

8:27

telling you tell me to do it. It was fortune

8:30

right. She was like, yes, well did you do it?

8:32

You tried it.

8:32

I have done it a couple of times and what happened they

8:34

got to be left, I mean, but I'm it's pretty

8:37

clear what I mean anyway. It's not like I had to

8:39

work on that, like telling people

8:41

it's a wrap for the night.

8:42

I don't think I've had to do that since

8:45

we got back. I don't think I've had.

8:46

To do that.

8:47

We haven't had a dinner party, all

8:49

right, because you're too busy buying new furniture.

8:51

I mean that.

8:52

And also we've just been busy, so I just haven't

8:54

had time, like to plan it out.

8:56

And cook and stuff and invite people to have people over.

8:58

That's actually a good thing to discussed because you both

9:01

have different, very different viewpoints about having

9:03

company over, which I'll break

9:05

down for you what happens. Sam has friends over

9:07

comics probably, and then they

9:09

stay over till like two, three, six

9:11

in the morning, and yeah, yeah, and

9:14

then Sam goes to the comedy seller or

9:16

whatever comedy club to run her set and.

9:18

Leave me with the company

9:21

that I do not want to entertain anymore.

9:23

But I don't leave you. I told them I'm

9:26

the one who said that's a wrap. I tell

9:28

people is done. No, she just gets up and be like,

9:30

all right, y'all, I got a show and it's like, oh oh, I'd.

9:33

Be like, all right, y'all, I got a show like this

9:35

is done.

9:35

Yeah, but people are still drinking and you

9:38

but you keep feeding them and giving them drinks.

9:40

You don't go because I think it's rude to be like,

9:42

get up and get the fuck out. Well, then that's why

9:44

they I think that's rude because

9:46

see, I'm from the South. I have Southern hospitality,

9:49

unlike some people, I don't know that there's

9:51

Southern hospitality. I think that you don't want to perceived

9:53

a certain way, so you do things

9:55

that work against what you actually want, Whereas

9:58

I don't care about how I'm perceived

10:01

because I know who I am, so it doesn't really

10:03

matter to me.

10:04

So I.

10:06

Do I do things that make

10:09

sense for me, and I don't put myself in precarious

10:11

situations that I don't want to be in. That

10:13

sounded like a deg it did? It did sound

10:15

like a dig again. I don't think you're a good

10:18

therapist. I think you're doing worse work.

10:20

I don't. I don't think I'm no.

10:21

I think when you leave here, you're going to be closer

10:24

because you survived it together.

10:25

Okay, Okay, I look at it that.

10:28

It's not a dig, like I'm just saying you

10:30

said I know who I am, so I'm

10:33

saying I think you know who you are too, But I

10:35

don't think you assert that I'm saying I know who I am.

10:37

So I know I'm not rude. I know I'm not this to

10:39

people. But if it's time for this to

10:41

be over, it's time to be over. And if your perception

10:43

of that is, oh, Sam is rude, that's

10:46

on you.

10:46

That really has nothing to do with me.

10:47

But I'm not going to have you just sitting around my house when

10:49

I don't want you there, so that you don't think something.

10:52

No, it's not that I just don't have them sitting

10:54

there.

10:54

It's just like I just don't want to

10:57

be rude and.

10:57

Be like it is hard to say to someone

11:00

and get out like having a good time

11:02

it's not right. I mean, yeah, exactly

11:04

if you're having a good time. But it's also really like it

11:07

I wish I was more like Sam, like

11:09

you would think I am, but I'm not. It's like it's hard

11:11

for me to like not want to hurt because I feel

11:13

like I'm like, oh, they're gonna think I don't want to hang like I always think

11:15

I have to hang out. I have to hang out even when

11:17

I don't want to fucking hang out. I want to go home so

11:20

I can relate to why. It's hard to say, but

11:22

it is better to just not give a fuck.

11:25

That's hard to do too, but I'm gonna try it. I'm

11:27

going to try that way Fortune told us

11:29

to do.

11:29

And just well, Fortune was like almost like

11:32

someone impersonating a person trying

11:34

to teach us how to say goodbye. Remember

11:36

it's very mister Rogers.

11:38

Yeah, it's like and now

11:40

you're gonna say, stand up and

11:42

puff your chance out.

11:43

And say, okay, well that was a good night.

11:48

Something like that.

11:49

But I learned.

11:51

I learned a lot, and you learned a lot apparently

11:53

because it worked when you tried it.

11:55

Yeah, I did. And I'm in

11:57

between the two of you.

11:58

I usually, you know, I don't give a fuck about a lot, but I don't

12:00

like to hurt people's feelings when they're hanging out with me.

12:03

And it's really fucking annoying because you know, as

12:05

a comic, you sometimes you feel

12:08

like you have to fucking be funny, and I'm like,

12:10

yeah, I want to smoke a joint

12:12

and walk down the street and like last night,

12:14

my friend was like, let's I'll walk you home from dinner.

12:16

I'm like, please, don't like, I just want to fucking

12:18

walk down the street listening to my

12:21

music and not talking to a single person.

12:23

That's okay, Yeah, he's not wrong with

12:25

that. Okay.

12:26

Well, thanks for listening to this Week with Sam

12:28

and Yah Yah.

12:29

You can check out Sam Jay who is on

12:31

tour now in cities all over the country

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and she's fucking funny. If you haven't

12:35

seen her on The Roast or on her own special,

12:38

then go watch both of those her

12:40

specials on HBO Max now

12:42

known as Max And then you can follow Yah Yah at Vanity

12:45

dot Vixen on Instagram

12:47

and TikTok and it is worth the follow

12:49

because she's up to some well

12:52

shenanigans.

12:52

I mean, you'll understand what I'm talking about.