13:23:48

Hi everybody, it's Susie Singer Carter and I just wanted to take

13:23:49

a minute to tell you about a

13:23:52

wonderful product I just

13:23:52

discovered. It's called

13:23:55

sociopathy. And Sociavi in Latin

13:23:55

means to share and unite. It is

13:24:00

the simplest way for older

13:24:00

adults and people with

13:24:02

disabilities to connect and

13:24:02

engage with their family and

13:24:05

friends. There's no username, no

13:24:05

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13:24:09

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13:24:09

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13:24:13

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13:24:13

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13:24:17

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13:24:17

caregivers just install the app

13:24:20

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13:24:20

you can just begin sending

13:24:23

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13:24:23

live live video chats and your

13:24:27

loved ones. They don't have to

13:24:27

do anything. They just love it.

13:24:30

And because all of us must fight

13:24:30

elder abuse and work together to

13:24:33

bring awareness to this issue

13:24:33

says the obvious supporting my

13:24:36

efforts to produce my vital

13:24:36

documentary, No Country for Old

13:24:39

people. When you subscribe to

13:24:39

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13:24:43

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13:24:48

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13:24:51

please visit their website at

13:24:55

www sociavi.com. And when

13:24:55

choosing the payment select the

13:24:59

annual subscription the proceeds

13:24:59

will go to help the production

13:25:02

of our documentary, No Country

13:25:02

for Old People and I thank you

13:25:06

so much.

13:25:14

When the world has

13:25:14

got shut down, and Alzheimer's

13:25:18

sucks, it's an equal opportunity

13:25:18

disease that chips away at

13:25:22

everything we hold dear. And to

13:25:22

date, there's no cure. So until

13:25:27

there is we continue to fight

13:25:27

with the most powerful tool in

13:25:30

our arsenal. Love. This is Love

13:25:30

Conquers Alz, a real and really

13:25:36

positive podcast that takes a

13:25:36

deep dive into everything.

13:25:39

Alzheimer's, The Good, The Bad

13:25:39

and everything in between. And

13:25:44

now here are your hosts Susie

13:25:44

Singer Carter and me, Don

13:25:49

Priess. Hello, everybody. It's been a

13:25:51

while this is Susie singer

13:25:54

Carter and this is Don priests

13:25:54

and this isLove Conquers Alzs.

13:25:58

Hello, Susan. .

13:26:00

Donald.

13:26:00

Yes, we're here we're doing a

13:26:03

show. It's been what a month. I

13:26:03

don't think this is the long I

13:26:07

don't know, this is the longest

13:26:07

we've taken a break for because

13:26:11

we're so deeply entrenched in

13:26:11

our documentary, documentary, No

13:26:14

Country for Old people. And I

13:26:14

forgot about love conquers all.

13:26:19

I didn't forget about it. We

13:26:19

just had literally no time. But

13:26:22

how you been? I've been you

13:26:22

know, me. Let's talk about me

13:26:27

talking about you. No, no, no,

13:26:27

that's pretty good. No, we have

13:26:32

no what we've done is we

13:26:32

aggregated an amazing group of

13:26:36

advocates and experts and not a

13:26:36

knife drill for like, what

13:26:40

should have been a six hour

13:26:40

seven hour drive to San

13:26:43

Francisco to to film for rock

13:26:43

stars for this documentary.

13:26:48

Ended up taking us about close

13:26:48

to 11 hours because we were nine

13:26:52

hours for God. Like 24 hours. We

13:26:52

were in his his handy dandy

13:26:59

electric card, which are not

13:26:59

meant for long trips, folks.

13:27:03

Well, they can be you know, we

13:27:03

stopped twice. And you just had

13:27:07

a little a little time. We only

13:27:07

stopped twice. And it took some

13:27:11

time. But it was delightful

13:27:11

because we didn't actually take

13:27:14

any money out of our wallets to

13:27:14

pay for gas. So that was the

13:27:18

best part. But no, we had a we

13:27:18

had a great set of interviews.

13:27:24

Despite the

13:27:24

challenge of our hotel room.

13:27:26

Let me just

13:27:26

quickly tell you guys because

13:27:29

this is funny. We made a

13:27:29

reservation for a suite, a

13:27:32

Hilton suite so that we would

13:27:32

save money, Don we it was a two

13:27:37

bedroom suite. And we went two

13:27:37

bedrooms and then we thought

13:27:41

we'll shoot the interviews in

13:27:41

the living room glamorous living

13:27:45

room I've never seen I don't

13:27:45

know how they could get away

13:27:48

with using the word sweet

13:27:48

because we walked in. It was

13:27:51

like we were in it was not sweet

13:27:51

Green Acres. Green Acres if

13:27:55

anybody knows, it was really

13:27:55

bad. It was the parking spot.

13:28:01

And tiny, We have to

13:28:01

bring in video equipment and

13:28:06

lighting and and have a

13:28:06

beautiful background of which

13:28:10

there was no beautiful background.

13:28:12

So I made one.

13:28:13

Yeah, she put her

13:28:13

own coat because the pillows

13:28:16

were so drab and covered this

13:28:16

pillow with her coat and then

13:28:20

with the flowers we'd like with

13:28:20

there's no vases here none at

13:28:23

all. So you know the the art

13:28:23

director Susie ended up using a

13:28:29

Kleenex box cover a big plastic

13:28:29

water bottle and ice bucket. I

13:28:34

suspect it was in the room for

13:28:34

as volunteers in the back and it

13:28:38

looked great. So anyway, you do

13:28:38

what you got to do content

13:28:43

rules. That's the magic of of

13:28:43

movies. Anyway. So what we do

13:28:48

Speaking of

13:28:48

magic, we have a really magical

13:28:50

person today that I just got

13:28:50

really fond of her like from

13:28:55

this interview that we did for

13:28:55

the documentary and I and both

13:28:59

Rick mountcastle said you got to

13:28:59

have her on your podcast. So

13:29:03

here she is, and why don't you introduce her?

13:29:05

I'm going to today

13:29:05

our guest is Gail Weatherill and

13:29:08

Gail is a registered nurse, a

13:29:08

Board Certified Alzheimer's

13:29:12

educator and the author of the

13:29:12

caregivers guide to dementia

13:29:15

practical advice for caring for

13:29:15

yourself and your loved one. Her

13:29:19

career has spanned four decades

13:29:19

from an intensive care head

13:29:23

nurse in Saudi Arabia to the

13:29:23

director of nursing in a

13:29:26

Virginia nursing home Gail has

13:29:26

done it all. For the last 20

13:29:30

years she has focused on the

13:29:30

care of people living with

13:29:32

dementia and the education of

13:29:32

their caregivers. She practices

13:29:36

as her professional alterego the

13:29:36

dementia nurse, her ability to

13:29:41

hear hearts instead of brains

13:29:41

gives her a unique understanding

13:29:44

of those with dementia and the

13:29:44

people who love them. Gail's

13:29:47

irreverent approach to the

13:29:47

American Health Care machine

13:29:50

makes her an effective and

13:29:50

sought out advocate for those in

13:29:54

the deepest need. And she has

13:29:54

participated in the nurses take

13:29:57

DC movement for safe staffing

13:29:57

ratios in our hospitals and long

13:30:01

term care facilities. Through

13:30:01

her writing, speaking and

13:30:04

coaching Gail lives to educate

13:30:04

Dementia Caregivers, one heart

13:30:08

at a time, and we are honored to

13:30:08

have her with us today. So let

13:30:12

us not wait another moment and

13:30:12

say hello to Gail Weatherill.

13:30:16

Hello, Gail. Yeah, hello.

13:30:19

Let the games

13:30:19

begin!

13:30:25

Absolutely,

13:30:25

Absolutely.

13:30:25

Oh my gosh, I love Gail, I love

13:30:30

that you listen to hearts and

13:30:30

not brains. Because that's

13:30:34

that's the key. That's such a

13:30:34

nice way to frame it about word

13:30:39

you know, living and and

13:30:39

caregiving for, and loving

13:30:42

somebody with with Alzheimer's

13:30:42

and dementia. And you know that

13:30:46

that's the biggest, the biggest

13:30:46

obstacle I've found is people

13:30:50

not understanding that there's

13:30:50

other ways to communicate. So

13:30:55

tell us a little bit about how

13:30:55

how did you you start as a

13:30:59

nurse, but how did you shift

13:30:59

your focus onto dementia? What

13:31:03

What attracted you to that?

13:31:05

Well, it was I

13:31:05

kind of fell into it more by

13:31:08

accident than then by design. I

13:31:08

had worked in intensive care for

13:31:17

17 years. And I just wanted to

13:31:17

do something different. And I

13:31:23

started doing home care. And

13:31:23

most of the people I worked with

13:31:27

in home care were people who

13:31:27

were ill elderly. And a large

13:31:33

proportion of people who are

13:31:33

elderly have some degree of

13:31:37

cognitive impairment, whether

13:31:37

it's from Alzheimer's or other

13:31:40

kinds of dementia. And so I just

13:31:40

started working with these

13:31:46

folks. And what I found was, I

13:31:46

had a way of communicating with

13:31:52

them. And it really did go back

13:31:52

down to communicating Heart to

13:31:58

Heart rather than brain to

13:31:58

brain. Because with Alzheimer's

13:32:03

disease and other diseases that

13:32:03

cause dementia, basically,

13:32:08

you're having brain failure. We

13:32:08

talk about heart failure, we

13:32:12

talk about kidney failure. We

13:32:12

talk about failures, but we

13:32:18

don't necessarily hear people

13:32:18

say brain failure. And that

13:32:22

really is what dementia is its

13:32:22

brain failure. So all the

13:32:28

chatter and the language that we

13:32:28

normally use to communicate

13:32:32

with, if you've got brain

13:32:32

failure, it's not going where it

13:32:36

needs to go. And so the

13:32:36

challenge is to find another way

13:32:40

to communicate. And I absolutely

13:32:40

found that the eyes are the

13:32:46

windows to the soul. And so it

13:32:46

really was I'm watching you, and

13:32:50

you're watching me, I and that

13:32:50

is how I got into that sort of

13:32:58

arena. And I found that I love

13:32:58

doing it. I found that I could

13:33:03

help families to look at things

13:33:03

in a different light. People

13:33:08

just need a different

13:33:08

perspective than than what

13:33:11

they've traditionally been told

13:33:11

to do. So that was the way it

13:33:17

took off. And then it just went

13:33:17

from there. And everywhere I

13:33:22

went to work I was always that

13:33:22

was the first thing I want to

13:33:25

know is how many people here

13:33:25

have dementia or Alzheimer's

13:33:28

because those were the folks

13:33:28

that I really enjoyed working

13:33:30

with the most.

13:33:31

So how did

13:33:31

you discover that though?

13:33:33

Because, I mean, I just from my

13:33:33

own story, I just I had my

13:33:37

mother was diagnosed with mild

13:33:37

cognitive impairment and then

13:33:41

you know, turns into

13:33:41

Alzheimer's. And she's the only

13:33:45

person I knew at the time that

13:33:45

had Alzheimer's so I was making

13:33:48

Every mistake in the book, you

13:33:48

know, I was trying to remind her

13:33:51

I was going to fix it, I was

13:33:51

going to keep keep repeating,

13:33:55

because instead it would learn

13:33:55

she'd learned, you know. And

13:33:58

then and then it took me a very

13:33:58

long time to realize I needed to

13:34:02

communicate with her a different

13:34:02

way. But it sounds like you had

13:34:04

it instinctually like you just

13:34:04

were intuitively connected?

13:34:11

You're correct,

13:34:11

you are correct. And I often say

13:34:16

that one of the great side

13:34:16

benefits of having grown up in a

13:34:22

really difficult household,

13:34:22

where you had to take the

13:34:26

temperature of the environment

13:34:26

at all times as a self

13:34:30

preservation feature. So I did I

13:34:30

honed those skills, I can with

13:34:39

the slightest change of a face

13:34:39

muscle, or when someone their

13:34:45

eye shift in a certain way, or

13:34:45

they're tapping their fingers

13:34:49

are 1000, other nonverbal ways

13:34:49

of communicating. That was it, I

13:34:56

spent 18 years practicing with

13:34:56

the best. And so I've had an

13:35:03

opportunity to sort of use those

13:35:03

difficult times, and turn that

13:35:07

into an asset in working with

13:35:07

these people with dementia, and

13:35:11

it has been the pleasure of my

13:35:11

life, it really has

13:35:17

Wow,

13:35:18

Do you think that's

13:35:18

something that can be taught?

13:35:21

Oh, yes. Oh,

13:35:21

yes. And well, I almost want to

13:35:25

say it's something that can be

13:35:25

untaught, what we need to be is

13:35:29

untaught, to use language. I do

13:35:29

a lot of work with nurses in

13:35:37

hospitals and talking to them

13:35:37

about how to manage people with

13:35:40

dementia when they're in the

13:35:40

hospital. And what I say to them

13:35:44

is, if somebody had heart

13:35:44

failure, you wouldn't try to

13:35:48

talk them into having a better

13:35:48

cardiac output. So why do you

13:35:54

think you can tuck someone in

13:35:54

with brain failure into having

13:35:59

better synapse connections? You

13:35:59

can't. And that's sort of the

13:36:05

unknown teaching of our reliance

13:36:05

on language. To communicate what

13:36:10

it is we want somebody to do or

13:36:10

what we don't want them to do.

13:36:15

We just have to take off the old

13:36:15

hat and put on a different set

13:36:20

of glasses to be able to do

13:36:20

that.

13:36:23

It's an odd

13:36:23

stigma that occurs with humans,

13:36:26

because we adapt to our pets,

13:36:26

right? We look for physical cues

13:36:32

and different kinds of cues that

13:36:32

aren't verbal, right? And we do

13:36:35

it with our children. And you

13:36:35

know, before they can speak, and

13:36:39

we we we allow them to we look

13:36:39

we investigate what does that

13:36:45

mean? What does that cry mean?

13:36:45

What is that? Is that a happy is

13:36:48

That is sad? Are they in pain?

13:36:48

Is that this? And and yet we for

13:36:52

some reason, we are so

13:36:52

disrespectful, or, you

13:37:00

know,dismissive

13:37:01

And uneducated.

13:37:04

Uneducated,

13:37:04

for sure. But but but that comes

13:37:07

with, you know, there's a desire

13:37:07

to want to learn, like I wanted

13:37:11

to learn, and because I wanted

13:37:11

to stay in contact, and and

13:37:16

before you answer, I just want

13:37:16

to say I love I love that. I

13:37:21

love that realization that you

13:37:21

had about your childhood,

13:37:24

because I had a very difficult,

13:37:24

a happy and a difficult

13:37:29

childhood, because I lived with

13:37:29

a very dominating father, who

13:37:34

was very brilliant, but also was

13:37:34

very demanding. And I learned to

13:37:37

read cues like no other. And I

13:37:37

think that's probably why I'm so

13:37:42

intuitive with people. And and I

13:37:42

was able to, to read my mom's so

13:37:47

well, that I think you're right.

13:37:47

That's an interesting

13:37:51

observation.

13:37:53

It's true. And

13:37:53

I think, part of what makes it

13:37:56

so hard for us to whether you

13:37:56

want to call it you know, it's

13:38:03

not so much to disrespect as it

13:38:03

is a an being entrenched in the

13:38:10

way that we've communicated with

13:38:10

that person for decades. You

13:38:15

know, when it's a toddler,

13:38:15

you're used to him not using

13:38:19

language because that's the way

13:38:19

they started out. And so this is

13:38:22

nothing true when they're two

13:38:22

years old, and they're throwing

13:38:25

a hissy fit. You know, when

13:38:25

you're 80 years old, and your

13:38:29

father has, you know, you've

13:38:29

spent all those decades

13:38:33

communicating with them in a

13:38:33

certain way. It's, it's a matter

13:38:37

of again, unlearning what we've

13:38:37

learned over the years and

13:38:42

knowing that we just have to

13:38:42

come at it from a different

13:38:44

angle. And the absolutely the

13:38:44

analogy of have young children

13:38:49

who don't have language. It's

13:38:49

not that we want to say that

13:38:55

these people are children,

13:38:55

because they're not their minds,

13:38:59

right? Function, their hearts

13:38:59

function as an adult who's had

13:39:03

all these life experiences. So

13:39:03

no, they're not children, but in

13:39:07

the way that they don't rely on

13:39:07

language or can't rely on

13:39:12

language to communicate their

13:39:12

needs is an important analogy. I

13:39:17

always say that all behavior has

13:39:17

meaning. So when grandpa

13:39:22

swinging from the chandeliers,

13:39:22

it's not because he sat in the

13:39:27

corner all day and said, let me

13:39:27

see what I can do to really

13:39:30

irked the heck out of them. It's

13:39:30

because something's wrong. And

13:39:36

he doesn't have the ability to

13:39:36

communicate what it is. And it

13:39:40

goes back just like with a

13:39:40

toddler, are they wet? Are they

13:39:43

hungry? Are they in pain, and

13:39:43

you just tick off the different

13:39:47

things. But you have to

13:39:47

understand that talking to them

13:39:52

and telling them they're okay.

13:39:52

Or asking them to tell you is

13:39:58

not going to get anywhere. And

13:39:58

it's just going to increase your

13:40:01

frustration, which in turn

13:40:01

increases their frustration

13:40:04

because they very much mirror

13:40:04

the emotional state of the

13:40:08

people they're engaged with.

13:40:10

I agree

13:40:10

with you. Yes. Do you think so?

13:40:13

And I thank you for correcting

13:40:13

me, because I don't I, you're

13:40:17

right, it's the fact that there

13:40:17

is a good very good point, the

13:40:19

fact that, that we have to look

13:40:19

at the people that we've

13:40:23

communicated with, in a certain

13:40:23

way for so many years, and now,

13:40:26

and now adjust how we

13:40:26

communicate with them. What I

13:40:30

think would be interesting, I

13:40:30

just want to throw this out to

13:40:32

you is that if if these if these

13:40:32

life changes were more

13:40:37

incorporated into our culture,

13:40:37

and in terms of acceptance, and

13:40:41

understanding and education in

13:40:41

terms of how the lifecycle goes,

13:40:46

then we wouldn't be so shocked

13:40:46

by it. And we wouldn't be so

13:40:49

thrown off balance. And and

13:40:49

maybe the loss wouldn't be as

13:40:53

great, you know, because it

13:40:53

takes an adjustment. It took me

13:40:56

an adjustment to go, Oh, I'm

13:40:56

losing my mommy. Okay, now, I'm

13:41:00

Mommy. And so, and I embraced

13:41:00

it. And it made me feel good.

13:41:03

But you know, that's not to say

13:41:03

that, that, from that, from that

13:41:07

point to the to the other point

13:41:07

wasn't a difficult journey. It

13:41:11

was because we don't learn about

13:41:11

it.

13:41:14

No, we don't

13:41:14

worry about it. And, you know,

13:41:17

there are different reasons for

13:41:17

that. Part of it is in the grand

13:41:23

scheme of things, Alzheimer's

13:41:23

and other diseases that cause

13:41:27

dementia, are relatively new on

13:41:27

the world stage. Yes, it's been

13:41:34

decades and decades and decades,

13:41:34

Alzheimer's was named after a

13:41:38

woman in the 1800s, early 1900s.

13:41:38

And but back when I started in

13:41:46

my career, 40 years ago, you

13:41:46

never heard of Alzheimer's, you

13:41:49

heard of people with what brain

13:41:49

from drinking too much, which is

13:41:54

one, eight. And now we call it

13:41:54

wernicki Korsakoff syndrome,

13:41:58

because that's what it is, is a

13:41:58

syndrome. But you didn't hear

13:42:02

about it. So we didn't grow up

13:42:02

watching our mothers take care

13:42:06

of our grandmothers, with this

13:42:06

particular problem. We don't

13:42:10

have role models to follow is

13:42:10

very much and that is one reason

13:42:15

why I got into this whole focus

13:42:15

on education and coaching in

13:42:21

counseling, with caregivers.

13:42:21

Because, you know, who tells you

13:42:27

this stuff? How are you supposed

13:42:27

to know you were born knowing

13:42:30

then you're, you know, you can

13:42:30

read a lot of books, but that

13:42:33

doesn't mean you're going to

13:42:33

know, you know what to do in the

13:42:36

moment when emotions are high

13:42:36

and things are going wrong. And

13:42:41

you're just have been sleep

13:42:41

deprived for the last three

13:42:45

weeks, and it's just a lot to

13:42:45

take in. But once we understand

13:42:51

that we're unlearning the way we

13:42:51

used to communicate, and we're

13:42:55

coming into new ways of

13:42:55

communicating, then it becomes a

13:42:59

bit of an adventure. But you're

13:42:59

right, that we're not supported.

13:43:03

And we certainly aren't

13:43:03

supported in the health care

13:43:05

system. That's for doggone Sure.

13:43:05

And very much of that boils down

13:43:11

to two factors. It's ageism, and

13:43:11

it's ableism. And the stigma and

13:43:18

the penalty for falling into the

13:43:18

wrong category on those two

13:43:24

spectrums is tremendous,

13:43:24

tremendous. They're all you

13:43:31

know, we're gonna put our money

13:43:31

over here and it's something

13:43:34

else. It's a real challenge.

13:43:34

It's a real challenge.

13:43:40

It is it.

13:43:40

You are been an advocate that

13:43:45

you've been advocating for for

13:43:45

this kind of change, for a

13:43:49

shift in consciousness, you

13:43:49

know, in terms of our providers.

13:43:55

I mean, how talk, can you talk a

13:43:55

little bit about your advocacy

13:44:00

and, and your frustration or

13:44:00

your or your, you know,

13:44:06

successes I mean talk about

13:44:06

that, because I'm, I'm in the

13:44:09

trenches of it. And I find it

13:44:09

daunting, the process,

13:44:14

Right, Well, I'll give you a quickie success story, I did have a gentleman

13:44:16

who had some dementia, but it

13:44:20

was relatively mild. And what

13:44:20

was happening was, he had met

13:44:26

this young lady who immediately

13:44:26

fell madly in love, it didn't

13:44:32

have anything to do that he was

13:44:32

the former CEO of a major

13:44:36

international company. And

13:44:36

loaded to the max, it was

13:44:41

because she really loved him.

13:44:41

And so he was going to the bank

13:44:47

every other day, and pulling out

13:44:47

literally 10s of 1000s of

13:44:51

dollars in cash and giving it to

13:44:51

this girl, well, oh, my

13:44:56

goodness, everybody knew what

13:44:56

was going on. But because his

13:45:00

doctor would not certify him as

13:45:00

being incompetent, no one could

13:45:06

do anything about it. And when

13:45:06

all was said and done, and he

13:45:10

finally came to his senses, and

13:45:10

realized what was going on, and

13:45:15

his family went to try and take

13:45:15

some action against this

13:45:19

individual, what we found is

13:45:19

there was nothing criminal, in

13:45:25

terms of criminal law on the

13:45:25

books, to prosecute someone from

13:45:31

doing this to a person who was

13:45:31

so vulnerable, and so broken.

13:45:38

And so we started going to the

13:45:38

legislature, and we went back,

13:45:44

it took us three years to get

13:45:44

there. But you know, my motto

13:45:48

was there is that they had the

13:45:48

laws tucked away under civil

13:45:54

law. And I just kept saying,

13:45:54

There is nothing civil about

13:45:58

what this girl did to this man.

13:45:58

And we need to make this a

13:46:02

criminal offense. And in the

13:46:02

end, we did manage to do that.

13:46:07

Aww, that's fantastic.

13:46:09

It's a small

13:46:09

step, and it's a, it's a drop in

13:46:13

the middle of a pretty big

13:46:13

ocean. But that's how we get

13:46:16

there. Every year, Nurses take

13:46:16

DC as an organization that we

13:46:23

work during the year, but we

13:46:23

definitely every May show up on

13:46:28

the steps of the cat of the

13:46:28

Capitol for a rally for safe

13:46:32

staffing ratios, whether it's in

13:46:32

hospitals or nursing homes.

13:46:38

Right now, the number of

13:46:38

residents or patients that are

13:46:42

assigned to each individual

13:46:42

nurse precludes giving the kind

13:46:47

of care that we nurses know

13:46:47

these patients deserve, and that

13:46:51

we know how to give, but physics

13:46:51

enters into it. And we have to

13:46:55

work within time constraints. So

13:46:55

we've made a little progress on

13:47:01

the staffing ratios, and of

13:47:01

course, the industries, wringing

13:47:05

their hands, but even the ratios

13:47:05

that we've managed to pass so

13:47:10

far have been pretty low. So

13:47:10

which is really, when I go back

13:47:15

and look at it, I don't expect

13:47:15

in my lifetime to shift the

13:47:20

healthcare system. I'm not that

13:47:20

crazy, I'm Yeah, are idealistic,

13:47:26

or all of the above. So what

13:47:26

I've made, my focus is educating

13:47:32

consumers and educating

13:47:32

caregivers and saying these are

13:47:35

what your rights are, this is

13:47:35

how you can exercise them within

13:47:40

the constraints of this broken

13:47:40

healthcare system that we have.

13:47:44

Because that was my gonna be the

13:47:44

quickest, fastest way I can get

13:47:48

to people to make life better, a

13:47:48

little easier to give a better

13:47:55

quality of life to at least a

13:47:55

few people. And as my work has

13:48:00

grown over the years, it's more

13:48:00

and more people. Which has been

13:48:06

really gratifying and kind of

13:48:06

shocking.

13:48:11

What you say is so important, because as we're doing this documentary, you

13:48:13

know, people don't want such a

13:48:15

huge problem. You're never going

13:48:15

to make a difference. It's too

13:48:19

big. It's too big. It's too big.

13:48:19

But that said, it's just

13:48:23

something like you just said if

13:48:23

you change or save the life of

13:48:27

five people have two people have

13:48:27

one person. You've changed that

13:48:32

person's lives, their family's

13:48:32

lives, their friends lives. And

13:48:35

so yes, we have to just kind of

13:48:35

say yes, it's a huge problem.

13:48:39

But there's no reason we

13:48:39

shouldn't chip away at it.

13:48:41

Exactly. I

13:48:41

mean, several years ago, two

13:48:45

other ladies and I started a

13:48:45

closed group on Facebook for

13:48:50

family caregivers of people with

13:48:50

Alzheimer's and other kinds of

13:48:54

dementia. And, you know, we

13:48:54

started out, we wanted to have a

13:48:59

place where caregivers could go

13:48:59

and say the things that they

13:49:02

can't say anywhere else, I'm

13:49:02

gonna kill him. If he does this

13:49:05

one more time and that sort of

13:49:05

thing. People need that outlet.

13:49:09

And they need to know they're

13:49:09

not a horrible person when they

13:49:11

feel that way. They're human

13:49:11

beings. But we started that, and

13:49:16

2016 was the beginning of that.

13:49:16

And in 2023, we have 58,000

13:49:23

members from over 100 different

13:49:23

countries. And not a day goes by

13:49:29

that I don't get a message from

13:49:29

somebody that says this group

13:49:33

saved my life. Because everybody

13:49:33

in there knows what everybody

13:49:38

else is dealing with. There's

13:49:38

understanding there, and even if

13:49:41

I'm having a horrible day, I've

13:49:41

still got a word of

13:49:45

encouragement for somebody else

13:49:45

whose day is going even worse

13:49:48

than mine is. So it's, you know,

13:49:48

Power to the People sort of

13:49:53

thing. It's, it's from the

13:49:53

bottom up, that we're trying to

13:49:56

change minds and change hearts.

13:49:58

I agree.

13:49:58

100%, it is power of the people.

13:50:01

That's that's what we are hoping

13:50:01

to do. You know, it really is.

13:50:05

And I think it's just a shift of

13:50:05

perspective, like you said, and

13:50:09

I and and we're, you know, I

13:50:09

giving I give, I give people the

13:50:13

benefit of the doubt that they

13:50:13

don't know, like, I didn't know,

13:50:17

this system, I didn't know how

13:50:17

bad the system was. And I didn't

13:50:20

realize the ableism and the

13:50:20

ageism, that was so prevalent,

13:50:24

it's so prevalent, it's, it's,

13:50:24

it's really a fatal combination,

13:50:29

in a lot of ways, you know, and

13:50:29

especially if you don't have

13:50:32

your loved one in the home.

13:50:35

Yes. And, you

13:50:35

know, I have a special heart for

13:50:40

people who have had to go into

13:50:40

memory care, which is basically

13:50:46

a subdivision. In most states,

13:50:46

it's a subdivision of assisted

13:50:49

living, long term care

13:50:49

facilities there, there's a

13:50:54

nursing home, then there's

13:50:54

assisted living in memory care.

13:50:59

And then there's home health. So

13:50:59

there's a continuum of how much

13:51:03

care comes from professionals.

13:51:03

And the higher up on that list

13:51:09

you go, the farther away you are

13:51:09

from home, the farther you are

13:51:13

away, you are from family, and

13:51:13

the more vulnerable you are to

13:51:18

broken systems. And I mean,

13:51:18

we've all heard the horror

13:51:23

stories, you know, you never

13:51:23

have to look very far about the

13:51:29

instances of abuse in nursing

13:51:29

homes. And people use nursing

13:51:35

home as kind of an umbrella term

13:51:35

for long term care. But even

13:51:40

with these folks in dementia

13:51:40

care, all the all the company

13:51:44

has to say is all they have

13:51:44

dementia, they're just making

13:51:47

that up, that never happened.

13:51:47

But there are ways to look at

13:51:52

our loved ones and to keep track

13:51:52

of you know, are they losing

13:51:55

weight at a rapid rate are they

13:51:55

How's their skin looking?

13:51:59

Different things that we can

13:51:59

learn and know so that even if

13:52:03

we haven't been able to continue

13:52:03

care in the home, that we're

13:52:07

still involved, I always tell

13:52:07

caregivers, you know, you get

13:52:10

this idea that once your loved

13:52:10

one goes into the nursing home,

13:52:14

that okay, my caregiving days

13:52:14

are over? Well, that's, that's

13:52:18

definitely a false idea. Because

13:52:18

you'll still be just as much of

13:52:24

a caregiver, it's just going to

13:52:24

look different than it did when

13:52:27

you had that individual at home.

13:52:27

And you'll have break periods

13:52:31

where you can actually sleep at

13:52:31

night or not have to be worried

13:52:36

that your loved one's going to

13:52:36

have some sort of break down and

13:52:40

have hallucinations and start

13:52:40

wanting to break your arm.

13:52:45

Because those things do happen.

13:52:45

In homes.

13:52:48

Yeah. Yes,

13:52:48

yeah. But so, you know, when

13:52:54

we're talking to a lot of people

13:52:54

about long term, and there are

13:53:00

different it can, you know, and

13:53:00

Alzheimer's can be a very long

13:53:03

disease, and it can be it can,

13:53:03

it can eventually emerge, you

13:53:08

know, managed to bankrupt most

13:53:08

people if they live long enough

13:53:13

through it, because it's just a

13:53:13

long disease. And if you have to

13:53:16

go into a memory care, because

13:53:16

you've advanced, it's very

13:53:20

expensive. And, and the debt so

13:53:20

your money doesn't last very

13:53:25

long. So you know, unless you're

13:53:25

in the 1%. You you're going to

13:53:30

end up on Medicaid and Medicare,

13:53:30

you know, and you're going to be

13:53:35

reliant on that. I, I found it

13:53:35

and I still find it and

13:53:40

everybody I talked to seems to

13:53:40

have a different definition of

13:53:43

what what is Medicaid and

13:53:43

Medicare and what is hospice and

13:53:47

I palliative and the differences

13:53:47

in what your loved one is, you

13:53:54

know, has what what are they

13:53:54

offered in these programs,

13:53:59

what's different and because it

13:53:59

seems like, you know, one person

13:54:03

says, well palliative gives you

13:54:03

this your mom should be in

13:54:06

palliative know your mom should

13:54:06

be in hospice, this is where you

13:54:10

know, you get taken care of and

13:54:10

you get extra care, I found it

13:54:13

the opposite, right? So what's

13:54:13

your take on those, those

13:54:18

different kinds of programs?,

13:54:19

One of the

13:54:19

problems that we have is if

13:54:24

we've gone through an

13:54:24

experience, we think we know,

13:54:27

you know, if my mom was in

13:54:27

hospice, then I think I know how

13:54:31

hospice works. So I'll tell

13:54:31

somebody, but the truth is not

13:54:36

every hospice operates exactly

13:54:36

the same way. Medicaid in

13:54:42

particular, is pretty much

13:54:42

governed. At the state level,

13:54:47

they get funding from the

13:54:47

federal level, but in terms of

13:54:50

regulations, and how the

13:54:50

industry is run, and who

13:54:55

qualifies for Medicaid, and how

13:54:55

you qualify what loot, you know,

13:55:00

hoops you have to jump through,

13:55:00

it varies from state to state.

13:55:04

So I'm always wanting caregivers

13:55:04

in my group, you know, when

13:55:08

somebody else in this group

13:55:08

tells you, Oh, this is the

13:55:11

truth, I'm like, Well, that was

13:55:11

the truth for them in their

13:55:15

state in that year. You know,

13:55:15

that doesn't mean it is for you.

13:55:20

It really, and that's this whole

13:55:20

problem of communication. It's

13:55:25

like, with health care, and I

13:55:25

consider all of this part of

13:55:31

health care, because it is it's

13:55:31

caring for your physical, mental

13:55:36

well being. It's like for

13:55:36

families, we just pick you up,

13:55:41

carry you to the most remote

13:55:41

region in China, where you've

13:55:48

never been to China in your

13:55:48

life, and you don't speak a word

13:55:51

of Chinese and we just drop you

13:55:51

in there and expect you to find

13:55:54

your way. It is a foreign

13:55:54

language. And it does mean a lot

13:55:58

of different things. And that's

13:55:58

one reason that I do so much. I

13:56:06

do a lot of teaching, I also do

13:56:06

a lot of coaching and counseling

13:56:11

one on one. Because if I don't

13:56:11

know exactly how Medicaid works

13:56:19

in your state, I know how to

13:56:19

find out how it works. And

13:56:22

that's what we need. I mean, my

13:56:22

vision is someday it won't be

13:56:26

the dimension nurse, it will be

13:56:26

the dimension nurses, because

13:56:30

nurses are the ones who

13:56:30

understand what the impact is on

13:56:33

a family of these diseases that

13:56:33

can go on for long and long, you

13:56:37

have no idea how long the

13:56:37

money's gonna need to last, you

13:56:41

have no idea how long you're

13:56:41

gonna be able to keep them at

13:56:45

home, talk about anxiety

13:56:45

producing, it's just in all the

13:56:51

years that I've been a nurse,

13:56:51

there is nothing, absolutely

13:56:56

nothing that compares to having

13:56:56

a loved one with Alzheimer's

13:57:01

disease or some other form of

13:57:01

dementia from another illness.

13:57:06

God bless my mother died from

13:57:06

lung cancer, she had a terrible

13:57:11

time, it was a walk in the park

13:57:11

compared to what people with

13:57:16

dementia and their families have

13:57:16

to walk through. Because with

13:57:20

dementia, there is no hope for

13:57:20

cure, you know, they're not

13:57:24

going to get better, they're

13:57:24

only going to keep getting

13:57:26

worse. There are a lot of things

13:57:26

that that are just different.

13:57:31

And that's another piece of of

13:57:31

educating the public that you

13:57:36

know, people are going through

13:57:36

this the people down the block

13:57:39

from you behind closed doors,

13:57:39

you have no idea what these

13:57:43

people are dealing with. So yes,

13:57:43

the language is a big barrier.

13:57:51

But yeah, I will tell you, yeah,

13:57:51

I'm sorry, I will tell you, if

13:57:56

you get a copy of the caregivers

13:57:56

guide to dementia, by yours

13:58:00

truly, I do have an outline in

13:58:00

there the differences between

13:58:05

these different levels of care

13:58:05

and different organizations and

13:58:09

how you can compare and have an

13:58:09

idea for what sorts of things

13:58:14

your loved ones should be

13:58:14

entitled to.

13:58:16

Yeah, that

13:58:16

is a wonderful resource because

13:58:18

I couldn't I could not figure

13:58:18

out what my mom was entitled to.

13:58:22

And it seemed to me that I was I

13:58:22

don't know. No, I still because,

13:58:28

you know, I when I was told my

13:58:28

mom should go into hospice that

13:58:32

came after a horrible experience

13:58:32

where I was like, Oh, good,

13:58:35

safe, she's gonna be safe, and

13:58:35

she's going to get the care she

13:58:38

actually needs now. And instead

13:58:38

they just took away all her

13:58:41

care. And, you know, they were

13:58:41

just basically like, you know,

13:58:45

pushing her out the door and I

13:58:45

was like, Wait, that's not what

13:58:47

you said. And then something the

13:58:47

other doc, the next time she

13:58:50

bounced into hospitals like,

13:58:50

well, she shouldn't be in

13:58:52

hospice, she should be in

13:58:52

palliative. Oh, well, what's

13:58:55

palliative? How's that

13:58:55

different than hospice? You

13:58:58

know, and we just don't know.

13:58:58

And we're and we still were

13:59:01

emotional?

13:59:02

Because everyone has

13:59:02

a different definition. As you

13:59:05

said, there is literally a

13:59:05

completely different definition.

13:59:08

And so you I mean, even if you

13:59:08

know, in theory, no, you still

13:59:13

don't know.

13:59:14

Yeah, yeah, you

13:59:14

don't. And actually, I'll give

13:59:18

Medicare its do they run a

13:59:18

database called care compare,

13:59:24

where you can type in your zip

13:59:24

code and look at what kind of

13:59:28

care you're looking for? Are you

13:59:28

looking for hospice care nursing

13:59:31

home? Are you looking for home

13:59:31

health care, and they keep a

13:59:36

database with information about

13:59:36

the organizations that provide

13:59:41

those services within your

13:59:41

physical area. And there's a lot

13:59:47

of good information in there.

13:59:47

Because a hospice is not a

13:59:51

hospice is not a hospice. They

13:59:51

are not all the same. And yes,

13:59:57

there are organizations that are

13:59:57

like, Okay, well, we'll just cut

14:00:00

off everything, because

14:00:00

everything we do give them is

14:00:03

gonna cost us money. And you

14:00:03

know, we're supposed to be a

14:00:06

profit that will, enterprise

14:00:06

here, but then you go down the

14:00:10

street, and there's a hospice

14:00:10

that will turn themselves inside

14:00:14

out upside down, and blue and

14:00:14

purple, to do anything to help

14:00:18

you and your family get through

14:00:18

such a difficult situation. So

14:00:23

it's, you know, when you say

14:00:23

people still don't know, it's

14:00:26

true, because this group on Main

14:00:26

Street does it this way, and the

14:00:31

group over on Elm Street does it

14:00:31

a totally different way. So even

14:00:35

then, you know, you still have

14:00:35

to do your research and your

14:00:39

homework and who the heck

14:00:39

teaches you how to do that?

14:00:41

Nobody,

14:00:41

nobody. It's really, really you

14:00:46

feel like you're just out on an

14:00:46

island, you know, and and

14:00:50

because nobody really speaks

14:00:50

that language, like you said,

14:00:53

Nobody does. And and all the

14:00:53

people that say they know, are

14:00:57

giving, you're getting bombarded

14:00:57

with all different kinds of

14:01:00

answers, and you don't know

14:01:00

which one is right. And that's

14:01:02

why I say it's like playing

14:01:02

whack a mole, because I don't

14:01:04

know. We go oh, that sounds

14:01:04

good. I'll do that. Well, that's

14:01:08

not what you said it was going

14:01:08

to be I thought you said this.

14:01:10

Oh, no, we didn't say that. And

14:01:10

then you go, Oh, my gosh, you

14:01:14

know, and now you just you just

14:01:14

want to, you want to now you're

14:01:17

you it becomes like Stockholm

14:01:17

Syndrome, because you go well,

14:01:20

it's not as bad as yesterday, so

14:01:20

I guess it's okay. You know?

14:01:24

I see that all

14:01:24

the time.

14:01:26

Yeah. Yeah, when it

14:01:26

doesn't go bad. You think it's

14:01:30

good? Yeah. Something bad didn't

14:01:30

happen. Do you think that's

14:01:34

good, you know, as opposed to

14:01:34

just real care. And really, you

14:01:38

And I've

14:01:38

seen friends like, I've seen my

14:01:38

know, getting the type of care

14:01:38

that the person needs. It's, it's,

14:01:46

my son say one thing, but then

14:01:46

you I'm gonna give you the four

14:01:49

but I've seen my colleagues like

14:01:49

my girlfriend's that I grew up

14:01:52

with whose parents are getting,

14:01:52

you know, in that age range.

14:01:55

And, and one of them right

14:01:55

before my mom passed, the week

14:01:59

before my mom passed, they were

14:01:59

in the same facility, and it was

14:02:02

just decided that she needed to

14:02:02

go into hospice, they didn't

14:02:04

know why her mother was was not

14:02:04

didn't have dementia and was

14:02:08

saying, I'm, am I dying? I'm not

14:02:08

ready to die. And, and but the

14:02:13

doctors were saying she's ready

14:02:13

to move into hospice, and she

14:02:17

died within two days. But you

14:02:17

know, and everybody in that in

14:02:21

the family and I this is no, I'm

14:02:21

not throwing shade on the as a

14:02:24

family. I'm saying I'm pointing

14:02:24

out that it was it was just

14:02:28

accepted, as opposed to

14:02:28

questioning. Yeah. And it kind

14:02:33

of broke my heart.

14:02:34

Well,

14:02:34

physicians are socialized in

14:02:37

this country and to be gods. And

14:02:37

the general public is

14:02:45

socialized. To consider them

14:02:45

Gods. You don't question the

14:02:50

doctor, my God. He's sitting

14:02:50

here, gracing you with his time

14:02:55

and his infinite wisdom. And

14:02:55

you're going to open your mouth

14:03:00

and question something. He says,

14:03:00

oh, no, no, no, that is not how

14:03:04

proper people behave. We've made

14:03:04

some progress in that arena. But

14:03:12

it's, I mean, it's moving the

14:03:12

needle a hair's breadth, and

14:03:15

that's about it. We are, we're

14:03:15

conditioned to not question

14:03:20

we're conditioned to accept. And

14:03:20

I mean, I recently had a family

14:03:26

say to me, I knew that their

14:03:26

loved one was getting terrible

14:03:29

care. And was basically being

14:03:29

neglected quite a bit. And the

14:03:36

response was, Well, at least

14:03:36

they're not abusing her. And

14:03:43

that just broke my heart because

14:03:43

I was like, okay, that's the

14:03:46

standard we've gotten into, as

14:03:46

long as they're not, you know,

14:03:50

smacking them upside the head,

14:03:50

then whatever else short of

14:03:54

that. And it's the same with

14:03:54

physicians, you know, I, oh,

14:03:58

boy, the horror stories I get

14:03:58

with that is it's the same the

14:04:02

people that you would expect to

14:04:02

be your ally and to be your

14:04:05

educators turned out not to be

14:04:05

that way. And the squeaky wheel

14:04:10

gets the grease, and that's all

14:04:10

there is to it. Which is why I

14:04:13

focus on consumer education,

14:04:13

rather than provider education,

14:04:18

because they're a bit of a lost

14:04:18

cause in my book, at least for

14:04:21

my lifetime, I'm not going to

14:04:21

move that needle before I get a

14:04:25

chance to check out a here so

14:04:25

I'm focused on consumers

14:04:28

learning.

14:04:29

Do you think that

14:04:29

the person that is the squeaky

14:04:31

wheel do I mean, there's that

14:04:31

always that thought in the back

14:04:34

your head? Oh, but if I if I

14:04:34

complain, they might make her

14:04:38

make it worse?

14:04:39

Retaliation.

14:04:40

I mean, yeah, so

14:04:40

Exactly. Their real concern for

14:04:42

that?

14:04:43

Oh, yeah,

14:04:43

absolutely. And it's a real

14:04:45

phenomena. And it really is, I

14:04:45

mean, you go into any facility,

14:04:48

and you ask, Who is that family,

14:04:48

and everybody dreads being

14:04:54

labeled as that family. And, you

14:04:54

know, so the way I look at that

14:05:03

is, you have to pick your

14:05:03

battles, you have to accept that

14:05:08

not everything is going to be

14:05:08

the way that it would be if you

14:05:12

were taking care of him, or if

14:05:12

you had him at home. If you

14:05:15

complain about everything, that

14:05:15

is not the way it should be,

14:05:19

then you completely lose your

14:05:19

voice. You look at the things

14:05:26

that really make a big

14:05:26

difference in your loved ones

14:05:30

quality of life. Are they

14:05:30

getting to activities? No, well,

14:05:34

that's important, because it's

14:05:34

boring as heck to sit around and

14:05:38

watch the paint peel off the

14:05:38

walls, and nothing to do. So

14:05:43

that's an important thing to go

14:05:43

to bat for, is it? You know,

14:05:48

they brought her orange juice

14:05:48

when they know full? Well, she

14:05:51

really wants apple juice in the

14:05:51

morning. Well, I wouldn't break

14:05:55

my neck, trying to advocate for

14:05:55

that, you know, those things are

14:05:59

gonna happen. And we have to

14:05:59

learn to differentiate what are

14:06:04

the things that are really going

14:06:04

to make a difference in our

14:06:06

loved ones life? And if it's

14:06:06

something that's going to make a

14:06:11

difference, then I say squeak

14:06:11

away.

14:06:14

Especially if it's

14:06:14

safety. I mean, anything to do

14:06:17

with safety.

14:06:17

Oh, safety is big..

14:06:19

Yeah, yeah.

14:06:19

Yeah. And I, I felt it my family

14:06:24

felt it my Don being my family

14:06:24

felt it, you know, and I, I, I

14:06:29

say it in my documentary that

14:06:29

it, you know, it doesn't feel

14:06:33

good when you're trying to

14:06:33

advocate, you know, respectfully

14:06:37

advocate, and you're suddenly

14:06:37

become persona non grata. You

14:06:41

are the, you're the pariah every

14:06:41

time you walk in. And if you

14:06:44

say, Hi, good morning, and I've

14:06:44

always been the happy girl, and

14:06:48

you get stone faces. And you

14:06:48

think, what did I do wrong?

14:06:54

Yeah, and it hurts. It's

14:06:54

painful, because it is painful.

14:06:58

It is painful. Yeah, you can't

14:06:58

help but go to bed at night and

14:07:01

think, hmm, I'm wonder if

14:07:01

they're ignoring my mother,

14:07:05

because there are p owed about

14:07:05

what I complained about last

14:07:08

week. You know, it's right.

14:07:08

That's not fair. That's where

14:07:14

the system that is a big issue,

14:07:14

because we shouldn't have to

14:07:17

worry about that. We shouldn't

14:07:17

have to worry that if we see

14:07:21

something bad and we say it,

14:07:21

that were that it's going to

14:07:25

make things even worse. That's,

14:07:25

you know, that's just not our

14:07:29

country. That's not what this

14:07:29

country was built on. And it

14:07:32

doesn't feel right. And that's

14:07:32

why the system really, really

14:07:35

needs a makeover big time

14:07:35

because there are good places. I

14:07:40

know there are good places, but

14:07:40

it doesn't take away from the

14:07:42

bad places. You know,

14:07:44

Is there anything

14:07:44

that can be done if you feel

14:07:47

like that's happening if you

14:07:47

feel like okay, I am the enemy

14:07:50

now. Is there something that can

14:07:50

be done to help smooth that out?

14:07:55

Or was it just you know what? It

14:07:55

is what it is?

14:08:00

Hey, this

14:08:00

is Susie singer Carter, and I

14:08:02

just wanted to take a minute to

14:08:02

talk to you about bed sores. I

14:08:05

know but if you're like I was

14:08:05

you probably don't have a clue

14:08:08

what a bed so really is. Most

14:08:08

people don't. I mean, no one

14:08:12

told me and I really just

14:08:12

assumed it was part of the body

14:08:15

that was like the name says sore

14:08:15

from lain in one position too

14:08:19

long and if you change the

14:08:19

position, all better. Wrong.

14:08:23

bedsore is really a euphemism

14:08:23

for more appropriate names such

14:08:27

as pressure wound, and keep it

14:08:27

as ulcer. Unfortunately, I

14:08:30

discovered what a bedsore really

14:08:30

was. When my mom was admitted

14:08:33

into the hospital last year with

14:08:33

a stage four ulcer, that is the

14:08:37

worst level. You don't ever want

14:08:37

that to happen. bed sores can

14:08:41

develop quickly and worsen

14:08:41

rapidly and can lead to serious

14:08:44

health issues, even death if

14:08:44

they're not promptly treated, or

14:08:47

properly only treated and that

14:08:47

includes cleaning and dressing

14:08:50

the wound, but most importantly,

14:08:50

reducing pressure off the sore

14:08:54

by frequently changing the

14:08:54

position of the person off of

14:08:57

their wounds so it can heal and

14:08:57

that can mean propping the

14:08:59

person up 30 degrees to the

14:08:59

side, far enough to be off the

14:09:03

lower back, but not too far as

14:09:03

to be on the side hip where

14:09:07

there isn't much cushion right

14:09:07

between the skin and the bone.

14:09:09

This is why I'm so excited to

14:09:09

tell you about BEDSORE RESCUE,

14:09:13

which was designed by an amazing

14:09:13

woman Gwen Jewell, a nurse who

14:09:16

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14:09:16

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14:09:20

that just don't work. The

14:09:20

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14:09:23

cushions are uniquely designed

14:09:23

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14:09:26

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14:09:30

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14:09:30

curvatures and bilateral angles

14:09:33

and make it possible for the

14:09:33

bedside cushion to be used to

14:09:36

support many other body parts as

14:09:36

well. You can flip the heels you

14:09:40

can put it under the head, you

14:09:40

can put it under the arms behind

14:09:43

the knees, both sides. You can

14:09:43

even use it as a breakfast in

14:09:46

bed table, the curvatures of the

14:09:46

bed so rescue fit the curvatures

14:09:50

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14:09:50

made to meet all the patients

14:09:53

safeties, and bed bound

14:09:53

positioning standards for acute

14:09:56

and long term care facilities. I

14:09:56

wish I had it for my mom, I

14:10:00

really do. So chances are if you

14:10:00

have a loved one in long term

14:10:03

care facility, or at your home,

14:10:03

you may become a pressure injury

14:10:08

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14:10:08

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14:10:11

four. And one way to ensure that

14:10:11

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14:10:15

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14:10:15

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14:10:18

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14:10:44

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14:10:44

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14:10:47

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14:10:47

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14:10:51

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14:10:51

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14:10:54

the Bedsore Rescue.

14:11:03

Well, those

14:11:03

aren't the only two choices.

14:11:08

One, I always say it's traumatic

14:11:08

for people to move to a

14:11:12

different facility, which yes,

14:11:12

once your bridge is burned to a

14:11:18

certain degree, nothing's going

14:11:18

to fix it short of just moving

14:11:23

on to a different facility and

14:11:23

different group of caregivers.

14:11:27

But there are things that you

14:11:27

can do short of that, because

14:11:30

the move is traumatic to people

14:11:30

with brain failure is not as

14:11:36

traumatic as being left in a

14:11:36

place. That's not safe. But it

14:11:40

is traumatic. So if there are

14:11:40

ways to go to the

14:11:44

administration, and just put it

14:11:44

out there and say, you know,

14:11:49

I've been bringing these things

14:11:49

to you, I've tried really hard

14:11:54

to bring them respectfully. I've

14:11:54

tried to choose my battles and

14:11:59

what things I want to trouble

14:11:59

you with. But now I'm getting

14:12:03

the feeling that I'm just really

14:12:03

worried about my loved one being

14:12:09

snubbed or ignored, or even

14:12:09

mistreated? Because people are

14:12:16

tired of hearing me, hearing me

14:12:16

complain. And I think just being

14:12:22

open and honest about that is a

14:12:22

step. Does that mean I think

14:12:28

they're gonna say, Oh, you're

14:12:28

right. Oh, my gosh, I can't

14:12:31

believe that's happening in our

14:12:31

facility. And we're gonna fix it

14:12:34

right now, they might say that,

14:12:34

they might say that to you. But

14:12:37

we all know what the likelihood

14:12:37

is of that actually happening.

14:12:42

But I don't know, I'm just kind

14:12:42

of thinks, you know, if

14:12:47

something's wrong, bring it into

14:12:47

the light. And if once you

14:12:51

brought it into the light, it's

14:12:51

still wrong, then you can move

14:12:55

on to other other ways of

14:12:55

dealing with it. But I would

14:13:00

start with just acknowledging my

14:13:00

fear to the people that are

14:13:05

taking care of my loved one,

14:13:05

that I'm concerned about this,

14:13:09

I'm concerned that I can't speak up.

14:13:11

Now, of course,

14:13:11

we're moving to another

14:13:13

facility, you don't know what

14:13:13

you're getting into there. Also,

14:13:17

I mean, you could do to be

14:13:17

moving... it could be a lateral

14:13:20

movement.

14:13:21

This is true.

14:13:21

There are ways to do research.

14:13:24

There are ways to do some

14:13:24

research. And but you're right,

14:13:29

but what I see is I see people

14:13:29

staying in terrible situations.

14:13:35

For that very reason. They say,

14:13:35

Well, what if I go through all

14:13:39

this trouble and move them

14:13:39

somewhere and they're just as

14:13:41

bad or worse? Well, yeah, that

14:13:41

could happen or they could get

14:13:47

to a new place. It's Wonderful,

14:13:47

I get that a lot of the time in

14:13:51

my big Facebook group, people

14:13:51

will say, you know, I don't want

14:13:55

to move on because there'll be

14:13:55

just as bad down the street. But

14:13:58

then you get somebody that pipes

14:13:58

up and says, Ah, don't put up

14:14:02

with that. Don't put up with

14:14:02

that. Take your mom out of

14:14:06

there, move her to somewhere

14:14:06

else. That's what I did. And the

14:14:10

second place was terrific. They

14:14:10

cared about my mother and they

14:14:14

cared about me. So, you know,

14:14:14

sometimes you just have to yake

14:14:18

Take your

14:14:18

power back, right?

14:14:20

a leap of faith.

14:14:21

Exactly,

14:14:21

Yeah. And

14:14:21

take your power back. Because we

14:14:24

are, we are the customer. We

14:14:24

feel like we're just so

14:14:28

dependent on the facilities. And

14:14:28

we feel like we need to be so

14:14:32

grateful, which we should be.

14:14:32

But I mean, if they're not

14:14:35

treating your family member,

14:14:35

right, then they don't, then you

14:14:39

need to leave. I agree with you.

14:14:39

Because it because we are the

14:14:44

customer, they and they need us.

14:14:44

So if we're going to look at our

14:14:48

business, then we have to look

14:14:48

at it that way. So be it.

14:14:51

Somebody's

14:14:51

cutting a mighty big check every

14:14:53

month for that facility. You

14:14:53

know, where else would you go

14:14:59

and pay somebody 9000 10,000?

14:14:59

And more a month to mistreat

14:15:06

your loved one? What kind of

14:15:06

sense does that make? You know?

14:15:11

It doesn't.

14:15:12

You wouldn't do it

14:15:12

with your child. If they were in

14:15:13

Or your pet

14:15:13

or your pet... or anything.

14:15:14

a bad no private school, they

14:15:14

wouldn't do it. You wouldn't

14:15:16

Yeah. So tell I'm going to

14:15:16

switch gears for a second and

14:15:17

keep them there. say, talk about your expertise

14:15:20

in communicating with people

14:15:24

with Alzheimer's and give us

14:15:24

Yeah, give us some tips on that.

14:15:28

What. So give us some some

14:15:28

practical ways to connect. You

14:15:32

know, like, I'll give you an

14:15:32

example. One of my one of my

14:15:36

mentors who was Judy Cornish

14:15:36

with the don don method, I love

14:15:40

her, she and I Oh, she said to

14:15:40

me, you know, you have to, you

14:15:44

have to go in and remember that

14:15:44

they that your that your loved

14:15:48

one might not really know who

14:15:48

you are. So help them out. Help

14:15:52

him out. So I did every single

14:15:52

time I go to see my mom, I would

14:15:57

say, you know, go money, mommy,

14:15:57

it's easy. Your favorite

14:16:01

daughter, the one you love the

14:16:01

most, because I'm your only

14:16:05

daughter in a maker. And I'd

14:16:05

make her laugh. And you know,

14:16:09

and I start up always reminding

14:16:09

her who I was. So that's just

14:16:13

like an example that helped me

14:16:13

right. And so why share some of yours?

14:16:17

Well, that's

14:16:17

definitely that's definitely a

14:16:20

good one. Because a lot of what

14:16:20

we see with folks is they're

14:16:24

embarrassed that they don't

14:16:24

know, you know, so when you can

14:16:28

go in and say, Oh, just as you

14:16:28

just explained, this is who I

14:16:32

am. Same thing, if you know

14:16:32

somebody else is coming into

14:16:36

your home to visit, it might be

14:16:36

someone that your loved one is

14:16:40

known for the last 50 years, but

14:16:40

you still introduce them. And

14:16:46

the other thing that you can do

14:16:46

when you're gonna have visitors

14:16:49

come in to see your loved one is

14:16:49

educate that person in advance.

14:16:55

So they don't come in and say,

14:16:55

keep saying Do you remember when

14:16:59

we did x? Because then your

14:16:59

loved one feels bad? Because no,

14:17:04

they don't remember when they

14:17:04

did X and they don't know who

14:17:06

the same here you are anyway.

14:17:06

And why are you asking me all

14:17:09

these dumb questions. We really

14:17:09

have to look at it. And we

14:17:15

always say you have to go into

14:17:15

their world, you have to look at

14:17:18

it through their eyes. Pets are

14:17:18

a great, great tool for

14:17:26

communicating with people with

14:17:26

brain failure. I always said

14:17:31

when I worked in the nursing

14:17:31

home, if we could have pets and

14:17:34

toddlers every day, then we

14:17:34

could take the entire medication

14:17:38

cart and throw it in the bottom

14:17:38

of the ocean. And what's the

14:17:41

reason for that? The reason for

14:17:41

that is that pets and toddlers

14:17:47

don't depend on language to

14:17:47

communicate. And because they

14:17:51

don't use language, the person

14:17:51

who has brain failure doesn't

14:17:57

have to try to decipher what

14:17:57

this child is communicating.

14:18:02

They look at their face. They

14:18:02

look at the big smile and the

14:18:05

big blue eyes and whatever. They

14:18:05

look at the giggle they see the

14:18:10

dog's tail going 1000 miles an

14:18:10

hour wagon. Yeah, that's this

14:18:14

animals glad to see me. So one

14:18:14

of the big things for folks that

14:18:19

I always say is you need to talk

14:18:19

about attempts. You need to if

14:18:25

you use 100 words to explain

14:18:25

some thing to someone, you need

14:18:29

to cut that down to 10 words or

14:18:29

less. We it's it's a natural

14:18:37

instinct, I think. And maybe I'm

14:18:37

just sympathetic because I'm

14:18:41

full of words and other things.

14:18:41

But when people are trying to

14:18:47

compute what it is you're saying

14:18:47

the fewer words you use. And

14:18:52

then if you combine language

14:18:52

with gestures or showing, we're

14:18:59

going to pull your sweater over

14:18:59

your head. And doing that before

14:19:07

you pull this water over your

14:19:07

head. To combine that, it really

14:19:12

is, if you we go back to the

14:19:12

toddler analogy, you don't just

14:19:17

sit there with your hands folded

14:19:17

and tell this child things and

14:19:23

expect them to understand what

14:19:23

it is that you said and to do

14:19:26

what it is you want them to do.

14:19:26

So we shouldn't expect that with

14:19:30

their loved ones to

14:19:31

Yeah, we can almost

14:19:31

equate that to, let's picture

14:19:34

for, you know, somebody comes in

14:19:34

and starts speaking a foreign

14:19:37

language to you that you do not

14:19:37

know a single word, what you

14:19:41

would just sit there and be

14:19:41

frustrated. And, and, and you as

14:19:46

opposed to them just literally,

14:19:46

you could probably go in and not

14:19:49

say a single word, and just

14:19:49

communicate with, with music and

14:19:53

gestures and facial expressions.

14:19:53

And suddenly they're not

14:19:57

frustrated anymore. They're not

14:19:57

scared. I think it's probably

14:20:01

scary to to not terrified for

14:20:01

them not to be and especially

14:20:05

when they get to the point where

14:20:05

they cannot speak. They can't

14:20:08

say anything. So now they don't

14:20:08

have to there's not that

14:20:11

pressure anymore. So I think if

14:20:11

we can equate that to that,

14:20:14

yeah. And somebody came in and

14:20:14

started speaking French or

14:20:17

Chinese and I don't know, French

14:20:17

or Chinese. I don't want to

14:20:20

react. Yeah.

14:20:21

Well, one of

14:20:21

the big things that people who

14:20:24

are still taking care of a loved

14:20:24

one at home really struggle with

14:20:28

is getting a loved one to take a

14:20:28

bath, take a shower. And, you

14:20:33

know, there are a lot of

14:20:33

different reasons that people

14:20:37

with brain failure resist, you

14:20:37

know, it may be that the drops

14:20:43

of water, stay them when they

14:20:43

hit them, things you wouldn't

14:20:46

think about, we get in the

14:20:46

shower. And then we're thinking

14:20:50

about, you know, what we

14:20:50

shouldn't have done yesterday

14:20:52

and the 29 things we've got to

14:20:52

make sure we get done today,

14:20:55

we're not thinking about this as

14:20:55

hitting me, these drops are

14:20:59

hurting, or they don't see the

14:20:59

water and they think it's just

14:21:04

confusing to them, they get cold

14:21:04

at the drop of a hat. They don't

14:21:10

understand that maybe they've

14:21:10

had some bad experience in the

14:21:15

past with in a swimming,

14:21:15

accident or something. Or for

14:21:21

whatever reason, when they get

14:21:21

in that shower, they think

14:21:23

they're drowning. And so we have

14:21:23

to be able to consider those

14:21:28

things and find workarounds. I

14:21:28

mean, I'm a big believer in

14:21:33

getting all the big towels you

14:21:33

can find and putting them in the

14:21:36

dryer and turning it on on high

14:21:36

heat before you get started with

14:21:40

the shower. So that when you're

14:21:40

done, you've got these warm,

14:21:44

warm, warm towels to wrap them

14:21:44

up.

14:21:48

Ooooohhh! That sounds good. That sounds good .

14:21:50

Yeah! You know,

14:21:50

there's a lot of things like

14:21:56

using lavender, I get a lot of

14:21:56

reports from that, you know,

14:22:00

have a diffuser going in the

14:22:00

bathroom with lavender, or in

14:22:04

the home or anywhere that

14:22:04

they're having a hard time or

14:22:06

they're struggling. It has been

14:22:06

known there are studies that

14:22:11

have proven that that particular

14:22:11

scent does help, yes, decrease

14:22:17

anxiety, and all these other,

14:22:17

you know, different non

14:22:24

mainstream interventions. And

14:22:24

that's, you know, I'm sorry, but

14:22:28

modern medicine just doesn't

14:22:28

have doodly squat to offer.

14:22:32

These folks with brain failure,

14:22:32

they don't have a drug to cure

14:22:35

the condition and the drugs that

14:22:35

they have to minimize the

14:22:40

symptoms. Half of them have

14:22:40

black box warnings, which means

14:22:44

if you're on it, your chance of

14:22:44

dying is higher than if you

14:22:47

weren't on it. So looking at

14:22:47

these alternative treatments,

14:22:52

CBD cannabidiol, CBD, whether

14:22:52

it's oil or gummies, or SAVs is

14:23:00

an excellent alternative. It's

14:23:00

plant based. It's the incidents,

14:23:08

you literally cannot overdose or

14:23:08

die from having too much CBD. It

14:23:14

may wreck your stomach a little

14:23:14

bit, but it's not going to kill

14:23:17

you. Not like the drugs that you

14:23:17

know, we get handed at the

14:23:21

doctor's office every week. So,

14:23:21

not that. I mean, I'm not anti

14:23:28

drugs. I'm really not because

14:23:28

I've seen a lot of people whose

14:23:31

quality of life was immensely

14:23:31

improved through getting some of

14:23:37

these medications, the anti

14:23:37

psychotic medications that have

14:23:40

such a bad reputation. It's...

14:23:40

you've got to cast your net wide

14:23:47

and try a lot of different

14:23:47

things for your loved one,

14:23:50

Right. Right

14:23:50

And just be

14:23:50

willing to go through trial and

14:23:53

error, because that's what it

14:23:53

takes to find what's going to

14:23:55

help them the most.

14:23:57

That's so important. You're right, it's trial and error, because it's

14:23:59

not just one fix, you can't just

14:24:02

say, because we're not one size

14:24:02

fits all, we're individuals and

14:24:06

everybody is different, you

14:24:06

know, and that's, I agree with

14:24:09

you, 100%. And so when, let's

14:24:09

say we get to the stage, what

14:24:14

like my mom was at the end of

14:24:14

law in the middle, right before

14:24:17

she died the last couple months?

14:24:17

Not much words coming out, if

14:24:21

any? How do you communicate with

14:24:21

someone at that stage? What's

14:24:25

What's the tricks that you think

14:24:25

are the best?

14:24:28

Oh, you know, I

14:24:28

have the saying, and I actually

14:24:32

have it on a magnet. And I send

14:24:32

it out to people sometimes,

14:24:35

because I think it's so

14:24:35

important. And the saying that I

14:24:39

use is what the brain cannot

14:24:39

remember, the heart can never

14:24:45

forget, the brain may not

14:24:45

remember who you are, but their

14:24:50

heart is in there and their

14:24:50

heart knows who you are. They

14:24:54

can't communicate that to you in

14:24:54

a way that you understand. But

14:24:58

it's in there, and it feels you.

14:24:58

So for people to say there's no

14:25:03

point in visiting, because she

14:25:03

doesn't even know I'm there.

14:25:06

That's not accurate. And this

14:25:06

came from all my years of

14:25:11

working in intensive care units,

14:25:11

because I worked with so many

14:25:14

people who were right on the

14:25:14

verge with one foot in this

14:25:18

world and one foot and whatever

14:25:18

comes after that. And I just

14:25:23

experienced so many things where

14:25:23

I just felt like, there were, I

14:25:28

mean, people were communicating

14:25:28

on a spirit level, I would

14:25:32

always tell people, if you can't

14:25:32

be here, at the moment, then,

14:25:37

you know, you might want to be

14:25:37

at home sitting in the rocker

14:25:40

that the two of you sat in and

14:25:40

drank beer and talk trash for

14:25:44

the last, you know, 40 years,

14:25:44

that may mean something more to

14:25:48

you, and they're gonna know that

14:25:48

you're there. Because when we

14:25:52

get that close, we're

14:25:52

communicating heart to heart.

14:25:56

Music is huge. What's the music

14:25:56

that meant was meaningful to

14:26:00

that person. Touch is huge. You

14:26:00

know, you don't have to give

14:26:05

them a full body massage, but

14:26:05

boy, just just a tender rubbing

14:26:12

of the face.

14:26:13

Yeah. It's,

14:26:13

yeah, you're so right. And you

14:26:17

just validated everything that I

14:26:17

experienced last year, you know,

14:26:20

when my mom wasn't speaking, and

14:26:20

I could see her she'd been

14:26:24

through so much. And I could see

14:26:24

I would come in and do my dog

14:26:27

and pony show. And I'd see her

14:26:27

looking up to the right. Always

14:26:29

she'd look up to the right like

14:26:29

that. And I go you look, you got

14:26:32

some words for me, don't you?

14:26:32

You're looking for those words,

14:26:35

and you're trying to get those

14:26:35

words out. I'm waiting. I'm

14:26:37

waiting. I'd always tell her I'm

14:26:37

waiting. I got all the time in

14:26:40

the world. I'm waiting. Any I

14:26:40

didn't expect anything. I just

14:26:44

knew that she was trying because

14:26:44

I could feel her I know her. And

14:26:47

then she looked at me with a big

14:26:47

smile. She go ah, and then but

14:26:50

one day out of nowhere. Dawn was

14:26:50

in the room. And and this was

14:26:53

two months before she passed.

14:26:53

She just said clearly like it

14:26:56

was my mom from 20 years ago. I

14:26:56

love you. And I and she hadn't

14:27:02

spoken for a couple months, at

14:27:02

least before I speak afterward.

14:27:07

I was floored because I said

14:27:07

Mommy, what a gift that was so

14:27:10

hard for you. That was like

14:27:10

running the marathon. Yeah. And

14:27:14

she had to tell me.

14:27:16

She did have to

14:27:16

tell you and I have seen that.

14:27:19

So many times. I can't even tell

14:27:19

you, somebody who's you know,

14:27:24

they talk about the rally right

14:27:24

before they depart. I had a

14:27:30

gentleman one time who had a

14:27:30

severe nergic degenerative

14:27:34

disease, and hadn't spoken for

14:27:34

years. And the day before he

14:27:39

passed, he suddenly it was like

14:27:39

he woke up and his son's where

14:27:43

they're from out of state and

14:27:43

his family. And he's sitting

14:27:46

there talking to him, telling

14:27:46

them how much he loves him and

14:27:49

how proud he is of him. By

14:27:49

midnight. He was back to not

14:27:52

being able to speak at all. And

14:27:52

the next day he took his leave.

14:27:57

But what a gift that was. That's

14:27:57

,,,

14:28:02

It's a

14:28:02

gift. It's a gift. It is such a

14:28:05

gift. It's funny because I have

14:28:05

dreams about that I dream that

14:28:08

my mom is totally talking to me

14:28:08

and I go wait a minute. You're

14:28:12

all better now in my dream.

14:28:12

She's like, Yeah, why not?

14:28:18

So I had done you

14:28:18

know, we talked about all the

14:28:20

you know, these these things

14:28:20

that we as the family caregivers

14:28:24

can do to communicate with them,

14:28:24

but is there any is there any

14:28:30

hope for training the people,

14:28:30

the medical staff, the nurses,

14:28:34

the doctors to do this? Because

14:28:34

they don't know them? They can't

14:28:38

read cues. They can't you know,

14:28:38

especially a doctor comes in and

14:28:41

sees them once every three weeks

14:28:41

or or a nurse you know the

14:28:44

nurses, the staff change. They

14:28:44

can't read those cues. What can

14:28:48

we do to to, because they're

14:28:48

super important, that's that's

14:28:53

who's around them all day long

14:28:53

every day, they have to deal

14:28:56

with them. And yet they don't

14:28:56

know how to communicate with

14:28:59

them.

14:28:59

It's called

14:28:59

educate, educate, educate. And

14:29:05

then when you're done doing that

14:29:05

sit down and do some educating.

14:29:14

We need to actually approach our

14:29:14

medical schools, our nursing

14:29:22

schools, our programs that are

14:29:22

training people, the people who

14:29:30

spend the most amount of time

14:29:30

with these folks that are in

14:29:38

facilities are the nurses aides,

14:29:38

they are the ones that's your

14:29:47

lifeblood, that's the backbone

14:29:47

of the long term care system,

14:29:55

people don't realize that, but

14:29:55

it's true. So we need to be

14:30:03

educating them and they want to

14:30:03

learn, but they don't want to

14:30:11

learn on a computer module

14:30:11

tucked away, far from the

14:30:18

patient somewhere, it's we need

14:30:18

more education, we need

14:30:26

different methods of educating

14:30:26

people. Because so much of what

14:30:34

they need to learn is more of a

14:30:34

tactile, you know, nonverbal

14:30:43

sort of communication, you can't

14:30:43

teach that in a book or in a

14:30:51

video, you have to be there with

14:30:51

them and tell stories and see

14:30:59

how in those stories, principles

14:30:59

are demonstrated. But if we're

14:31:08

doing that in our medical

14:31:08

schools and our nursing schools,

14:31:10

Yep.

14:31:10

your.... Yeah. Again, you're

14:31:12

right. Again, you're right. And

14:31:12

I keep telling people that it's

14:31:16

and in our programs that train

14:31:16

nurses aides, and then if we're

14:31:17

like, I'm not, you know, some,

14:31:17

some people don't, don't really

14:31:21

want to revisit what they've

14:31:21

been through because it's hard.

14:31:24

doing it in the hospital, doing

14:31:24

it in the facilities, you know,

14:31:26

And, and it feels like, you

14:31:26

know, maybe, you know, it

14:31:30

doesn't like maybe it's not

14:31:30

healthy, that you're still

14:31:33

it's once again, it's a

14:31:33

humongous, humongous problem.

14:31:34

thinking about that once your

14:31:34

loved ones gone. But I feel I

14:31:38

feel differently. I feel like if

14:31:38

I've, I've seen and learn things

14:31:40

And it's tempting to say, Oh,

14:31:40

God, there's no hope for this.

14:31:43

that I can't unsee and unlearn.

14:31:43

And so therefore, I want to, I

14:31:47

feel I feel the responsibility

14:31:47

to pay it forward. I feel a

14:31:48

But that's not true, either. You

14:31:48

know, we have a responsibility.

14:31:51

responsibility to say things and

14:31:51

to and to educate and, and some

14:31:56

people are aren't gonna like me

14:31:56

for it and they're gonna think

14:31:57

Those of us who know and those

14:31:57

of us who are aware, have a

14:32:01

I'm angry. I'm not I'm not

14:32:01

angry. I'm heartbroken for

14:32:05

people. That's all Yeah. And and

14:32:05

I want people to be able to take

14:32:05

responsibility to act. And when

14:32:05

we don't, we're not only letting

14:32:09

power back. And and the only way

14:32:09

is by knowing what's going on,

14:32:14

ourselves down, we're letting

14:32:14

down our children and our

14:32:14

and by sharing what you've

14:32:14

learned, bless what you do every

14:32:18

day. You share what you've

14:32:18

learned, was such an immense

14:32:21

grandchildren. Because I can

14:32:21

tell you that Alzheimer's and

14:32:22

heart. You're, you're a lovely,

14:32:22

lovely lady.

14:32:26

Oh, thank you,

14:32:26

darling. Thank you. I knew that

14:32:29

I needed a big heart would come

14:32:29

in, come in handy some days it

14:32:29

these other types of dementia

14:32:29

are not going anywhere anytime soon.

14:32:33

over the course of 43 years of a

14:32:33

nurse has gotten broken more

14:32:37

than once. But I'll tell you

14:32:37

it's - it gets bigger each time

14:32:40

it gets broken.

14:32:43

I love that. My mom would my mom would love you she would be going,

14:32:45

"Girl. Let's go have a cup of

14:32:47

coffee and talk about things!"

14:32:51

I'm telling ya. We'll drink a little mash and talk a little trash. Let's go.

14:32:53

That's

14:32:53

right. Oh, my mom would have

14:32:55

loved you. My mom would have

14:32:55

either loved her too. Well is

14:32:59

there anything else that you

14:32:59

want to bring up that we didn't

14:33:03

bring it up because we could

14:33:03

talk forever but I just enjoyed

14:33:06

it anything else that we might

14:33:06

have missed? I can assure

14:33:10

everyone that we'll have all

14:33:10

your all of your ways of contact

14:33:14

in the show notes. Where to find

14:33:14

your book, where to find you

14:33:17

where your Facebook pages and if

14:33:17

you want some good support, get

14:33:22

a hold of this lady. She's she's

14:33:22

a she's a gift.

14:33:25

That's it. My

14:33:25

motto? I know everything and

14:33:28

what I don't know I'm not afraid

14:33:28

to make up so go ahead and call

14:33:31

me up...

14:33:34

Barooom chuck! And I love that you I love that your philosophy about

14:33:36

heart. We're all about heart

14:33:39

right, Don?

14:33:39

Yeah. Absolutely.

14:33:40

What gets us

14:33:40

out of bed in the morning? Love

14:33:43

gets us out of bed in the

14:33:43

morning. You know love lets us

14:33:47

lay down at night and put our

14:33:47

head on the pillow and know that

14:33:52

because we were alive that day,

14:33:52

the world is just that much

14:33:56

better than it was if we hadn't

14:33:56

been there. So it doesn't get

14:34:01

any better than that.

14:34:02

Absolutely. And that

14:34:02

is because as we always say,

14:34:06

Love is powerful. Love is

14:34:06

contagious, and Love Conquers

14:34:09

Alz. We thank everyone for

14:34:09

listening and joining and please

14:34:13

do if you if you like what you

14:34:13

heard, you know, like it or

14:34:17

subscribe or tell other people

14:34:17

about it. We got to get the word

14:34:22

out, share, share, share, and,

14:34:22

and Susan, anything else you

14:34:26

want to say before we say bye bye.

14:34:28

I just want

14:34:28

to say have a lovely, lovely

14:34:30

rest of your day night. Whatever

14:34:30

time you're listening to this

14:34:33

middle of the night. Who knows?

14:34:33

Anyway, thanks for listening,

14:34:37

and we'll see you

14:34:39

See you next time

14:34:39

Bye. Bye bye.