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central.

1:05

Hello, Los

1:07

Angeles. Welcome

1:12

to love it or leave it. I'm

1:14

dead or else. All hallows Eve

1:16

edition Having

1:17

done a few labs around Party City, I can't

1:19

help but notice there isn't a slutty podcaster

1:21

costume. Yet another reminder how much work

1:23

there is left to do before

1:25

we have a just society. We

1:27

got a spooky show for you tonight. Take

1:30

Atara is here to rate monsters on the Kinsey

1:32

Scale. and you'll gag when you find out which

1:34

ghoul is by. Ed Helms

1:37

is here to crown greatest Halloween candy.

1:39

And if you look under your chairs as a skill bag filled

1:41

with rainbow fentanyl, for all of you.

1:45

Lizzie Cooperman and Kevin Avery try to guess

1:47

which person was offensive. Plus,

1:50

It's time for the fear wheel.

1:53

Just

1:55

to note, we will be having a costume contest at

1:57

the end of the show, so if you are wearing an actual

1:59

costume and wanna

2:01

potentially win little prize, you'll be summoned

2:03

to the stage. If anyone gets on stage without

2:05

a costume, I swear to God, will tear your throats

2:07

open and drink your blood. But

2:10

first, let's get into it. What

2:13

a week?

2:17

This week, a second woman came forward to alleged

2:20

that anti abortion Georgia senate candidate Hersha

2:22

Walker pressured her to have an abortion, saying

2:24

that Walker personally drove her to a

2:26

clinic to make sure she went through it

2:28

against her wishes.

2:29

Look,

2:30

every great man, there's a great woman

2:33

he urged to get an abortion. And

2:35

behind her, there's another woman

2:37

he also urged to get an abortion.

2:40

Behind her, more women

2:42

probably. know

2:44

he liked to poke fun, but of course he went to the clinic

2:47

with her. His customer loyalty card is just two abortions

2:49

away from a free yogurt. What?

2:54

That's your line. I don't even The

2:56

woman said she came forward after seeing Walker deny

2:59

the first woman's claims and that she wasn't doing it

3:01

for political reasons saying, am a registered independent

3:03

and I voted for Donald Trump in both elections.

3:06

I do not believe that Herschel is morally

3:08

fit to be a US senator making me

3:10

first time that being a two time Trump

3:12

voter has given anyone extra credibility.

3:16

Senate majority leader and Zaybar's rewards

3:18

member Chuck Schumer delivered a Yiddish lesson

3:20

in a new campaign ad. Smows.

3:24

January sixth, Ashand,

3:26

Michigan. horrible games,

3:28

those mega Republicans play.

3:30

He's done it folks.

3:33

We've

3:33

locked down America's undecided Jew.

3:38

Supreme Court justice Clarence Thomas agreed

3:40

to temporarily freeze an order requiring senator

3:42

Lindsey Graham to testify in Georgia

3:44

prosecutors probe of efforts to overturn the twenty

3:47

twenty election. In an unusual flourish,

3:49

Thomas dedicated the order to his wife, Ginnie, writing,

3:51

this one's for my better half. My worst half

3:53

is a toss-up, honestly. We're both nightmares.

3:56

Love you, babe. Following

3:59

the speedy resignation of

3:59

Liz Trust, former British finance minister,

4:02

Rishi Sunak, won the race to be leader of the

4:04

Conservative Party and has become the United Kingdom's

4:06

first prime minister of color, the

4:08

UK is starting to feel like that one friend who keeps

4:10

trying introduce you to people. It's been on two dates

4:12

with. I'll meet them when it's serious, Britain.

4:17

Now

4:17

before I dive into latest news out of Russia,

4:19

we've got a very special guest to help break it down. It

4:21

is Halloween. When famous dead

4:23

people are at their most bookable, and the late

4:25

former Russian president Mikael Gorber shop

4:27

has agreed to join us from the spirit world. My

4:29

producer, Kendra, gave me very detailed summoning

4:31

instructions, so I have my pentacle drawn

4:33

on the ground, a circle of salt on the couch, and

4:35

a song in my heart, let's give this a world. Let's

4:37

see. I think I'm doing it right. I'm summoning. I'm

4:40

summoning.

4:41

the

4:44

Oh, I don't think

4:47

I I don't think I did that right. Are

4:50

you you are manager? Oh, okay.

4:53

Okay. I I am not the manager. I need

4:55

to speak to the manager.

4:56

Wait. Wait. Avana Trump,

4:59

what are you doing here? I was selling Gorbachev.

5:02

I slap him out as AVI

5:05

slap Gorbachev out of

5:06

the way. I slap Gorbachev out of the way.

5:09

I was trying to get Gorbachev and you got him out of the

5:11

way.

5:11

I slap him out of the way. He he's playing battle

5:14

with sheep.

5:14

right now. Listen,

5:17

I have I have a prettier forehead

5:19

than garbage out.

5:20

Yes. Bigger bust.

5:23

Okay. and be a good problem.

5:25

Alright. Listen. Listen,

5:26

you helped me. Okay. You helped me.

5:28

You understand? Yes. I need this.

5:31

Okay. Before I die, I say

5:33

in Savannah, do the cremation

5:35

and scatter my ashes in

5:37

hot tub at plaza hotel.

5:39

Oh, no.

5:40

But then,

5:41

I fold down this.

5:42

Alright. Okay.

5:45

Do you know what happens? Yeah. Yeah.

5:47

I do. You got buried on the the golf

5:49

cart in Trump's bed, mister golf Yes.

5:51

I am buried on the golf course.

5:54

Not even nearby good hall. I

5:56

am deserving of fast hall.

5:58

You deserve the best. Yes.

5:59

You are. You deserve the the best hope.

6:03

And I've always said that. But, Iwona, I

6:05

can't help you with that. I'm just I'm just some

6:07

guy. I think you're buried there for tax

6:09

reasons. Oh, you must fix.

6:11

Okay. You must be.

6:13

Alright. In

6:14

my gravy, it it is like

6:16

any hoarders. Down

6:18

there. There is a

6:21

stack of us, Stalin documents.

6:24

with the top secret, I

6:26

read them all as very boring.

6:28

Extremely dry. Mhmm.

6:30

Also -- Yeah. -- also

6:32

Ten years of the tax

6:33

rate. They're in they're in there. Ten years.

6:36

You're buried in the golfers with tax rate.

6:38

You're buried with the age and are.

6:39

I

6:42

am buried with the ten ninety nine.

6:44

You understand? You understand? I

6:47

was freelance.

6:48

I was a freelance there.

6:52

Oh, it's not like a freelance. find me on

6:54

LinkedIn. It's not AW2 It's a

6:56

ten ninety nine. It's freelance. Also,

6:59

honestly, I am

7:01

buried with whole box of phones

7:03

belonging to a reality of Giuliani.

7:06

that's where the that's where Rudy's old favorite.

7:08

Verizon,

7:08

I have the sidekick,

7:10

the one that opened.

7:11

The old way.

7:14

They have flipped. You won't flip.

7:17

You can't talk to me. I'll

7:19

tell you all night the phones are ringing. There's a

7:21

lot of ringing. The Rudy phones are

7:23

ringing. The thing told. Who let that

7:25

dogs out.

7:25

Who? Who? Ask

7:29

me. And you can't yeah. So can you do

7:31

anything about them? The thought, are you just dead? You

7:33

just Can silence? You just sit

7:35

there. You just I sit there. Hearing you. And you

7:37

know what I do? What? I watch the

7:39

pee tape. Oh, gosh. That's

7:41

what I do. That does sound PP

7:43

tapes in there. Sounds

7:45

awful. Yeah. Every Trump's steaks

7:47

that did not sell at the sharper

7:49

image. Jesus. That's

7:51

a tax coffin. So it's the

7:53

so just to catch you up, it's the tax returns, the

7:56

top secret documents, Rudy's phone, the p tape,

7:58

and the old steaks. Is this this?

7:59

no forever

8:02

Oh,

8:05

no. Is there And

8:06

I can't even chuck my legs in

8:08

my own golf course. away. I

8:11

have nerve damage. You understand?

8:14

Yeah. Right. Never damage. I'm

8:16

I'm trapped in a rotting meat

8:18

tumor. I am

8:20

stuck in a fast rocker's underground.

8:22

Do you understand also?

8:25

Yeah. What else now? Yeah. What else?

8:27

There is a bag of cocaine. A bag

8:29

of cocaine. That

8:31

Donald Trump Junior drops

8:33

in accident during my funeral.

8:36

Yes. Okay. Well well,

8:38

he is your son and

8:40

now we are imagining his son at his mother's

8:42

funeral. So I think this has probably gone

8:44

far enough I'm just not sure how to un

8:46

summon you. So I'm just gonna do what I did earlier and see

8:48

if it'll get you sucked back into hell. Is this

8:50

anything No. No.

8:52

No. No. No. No. Wait.

8:54

Wait. Wait. No. Please

8:56

don't do this. I'm doing it. Please.

8:58

Please don't try. You gotta go. and me.

9:00

We gotta keep going. Take up Steve

9:02

Badcock, mattress. That's

9:06

now. That's so gross. He dumps it in

9:08

the grave. You're being

9:10

unsuccessful. first. You gotta

9:12

get a you gotta go back to

9:14

hell. I'm

9:18

on a Trump everybody.

9:21

That

9:25

was weird. Guess

9:27

we'll never know what happened in Russia this week. Moving

9:29

on, on Tuesday, lieutenant

9:32

governor John Federman took on TV snake oil

9:34

salesman, doctor Oz, in one of the most highly

9:36

anticipated debates of the midterms, Federman was quick to

9:38

acknowledge his trouble saying, that though he

9:40

might miss some words during this debate, merge

9:42

two words together, but it knocked me down, but I'm

9:44

gonna keep getting back up. Meanwhile, doctor

9:46

Oz had this to say about abortion access. I

9:48

want women, doctors, local,

9:50

political leaders, letting the democracy

9:52

that's always allowed our nation to thrive to

9:54

put the best ideas forward so states can

9:56

decide for themselves. like

9:58

we're always saying healthcare should

9:59

be between a patient, a doctor, and

10:02

the Glad handing sociopath from your high

10:04

school who said he wanted to be president since

10:06

the fourth grade. After

10:09

the debate Republicans impound its pounce on

10:11

Federman's halting performance, calling it painful to watch

10:13

and confidently predicting that voters would see

10:15

it as an indication that Federman was unfit to serve in

10:17

the senate. And they're right, Americans want a

10:19

senator who doesn't pause once as he smoothly

10:21

orders a Matt's puppy murder.

10:23

We can't have a guy with lingering

10:26

auditory issues in the Senate they cried. What if

10:28

he can't keep up with Diane Feinsons'

10:30

rapid fire school ball dialogue?

10:35

How does

10:35

minority leader Kevin McCarthy even went on

10:37

Fox news to call Federman an embarrassment? Because

10:40

even Emma cat consultants. Even those

10:42

Democrats on CNN were

10:44

embarrassed of who their nominee

10:46

was and the capability of carrying out

10:48

the job. This is a big job in the

10:50

senate. It's a big job in the house. It's a

10:52

huge job in the White House. Insisted

10:54

McCarthy, strokes are a crutch. I'm

10:56

out here making no sense by my lack of

10:58

wit alone. Meanwhile,

11:01

with the release of her tenth album at midnight,

11:03

Taylor Smith, to shatter Spotify's record for the

11:05

most streamed album in a single day, The

11:07

release wasn't without controversy though. A shot

11:09

from the anti hero music video in which Swift

11:11

stands on a scale read fat, which

11:13

caused backlash amongst critics who said that it

11:15

promoted fat phobia offending scale has since

11:17

been edited out of the video on Apple Music,

11:19

but I'm not sure how we should feel about

11:21

the replacement.

11:26

For those

11:30

listening at home, we've

11:33

changed it to say, Jew, On

11:38

Tuesday, Adidas and Gap

11:40

finally broke ties with Kanye West towards anti

11:42

Semitic rants with Gap Vowing to remove

11:44

West clothing collaboration from their stores. Frankly, I

11:46

don't know why Gap ever agreed to sell those

11:48

armbands in the first place. Let's

11:51

get tough. Peloton

11:54

also reached out to concerned members this week to let them know

11:56

that they would no longer use Kanye's music and

11:58

newly produced classes. I say keep it

12:00

in. We're trying to get our heart rates up, you

12:02

know? I think

12:05

it's fine. Wait a

12:07

second. Wait a second. Let's talk about this for two

12:09

minutes. Is that it? We can't have the songs and

12:11

fucking exercise classes. We're

12:13

not antisemites. They're good songs to run

12:16

to. On Thursday,

12:18

CNN reported that four separate sources revealed to

12:20

them that Yay's twenty eighteen album, which was

12:22

released under the title Yay, was originally supposed to

12:24

be called Hitler. He

12:27

decided to drop the title when he learned it was also the

12:29

name of an infamous German dictator. EON

12:32

Musk closed his deal to buy Twitter on

12:34

Friday, but sought to assure advertisers that

12:36

Twitter will not become a free for all hellscape where

12:38

anything can be said with no consequences. Said

12:40

Musk I save that for my marriages.

12:43

You know, I think

12:45

we usually like to have a mix of hard

12:47

jokes and kind of lighter ones. And

12:49

we're just tumbling you today.

12:51

I didn't really You know, I sometimes find

12:53

out I was in a mood. once

12:56

the show begins. Friends

12:59

actor Matthew Perry revealed a deep

13:01

baffling dislike for Kiana Reeves What What's

13:03

wrong? What

13:06

Don't worry. He didn't say it again. It's semitic.

13:09

We're okay. If that's what you were

13:11

afraid of. He's

13:13

okay. He's okay. He just revealed a

13:15

baffling just like for Kiana Reeves. He

13:17

reportedly includes the line. Why is it that the

13:19

original thinkers like River Phoenix and Heath

13:21

Ledger die But Kianno Reeves still

13:23

walks among us. what

13:29

a fucking deep tour to take a

13:31

swing at sweet piano reaps.

13:34

In an apology

13:36

statement to People magazine, Matthew Perry said, I'm actually

13:38

a big fan of Kianu, I just chose a random

13:40

name. My mistake. I apologized. I should

13:42

have used my own name instead.

13:44

Could my editor

13:47

be any more useless?

13:50

Besides You

13:53

can't throw Kianna under the bus. He'll catch

13:55

you and take your damn head right off.

13:57

In his new memoir,

14:00

YouTube frontman Bono finally apologized for

14:02

forcibly injecting the band's albums, songs of

14:04

innocence into iTunes libraries

14:06

in twenty fourteen. It's

14:09

about time. He continued

14:12

my weird later stage art should be forcibly

14:14

injected in one place only, and that's speaker

14:16

Nancy Pelosi's email inbox.

14:18

Do you remember when that when

14:20

Bono and Tim Cook were on stage at

14:22

that event? And it

14:25

was this weird thing where they were gonna make

14:27

everybody got the album at same time

14:29

and then they didn't work through what they were gonna do

14:31

together on stage. And so then

14:33

the two of them end up standing

14:35

side by side and they don't

14:37

wanna shake hands feels too formal. So they kind

14:39

of go to grab hands, but that

14:41

doesn't feel right. And so they

14:43

end up grabbing hands above

14:45

their heads and then

14:47

touching fingers. And

14:49

I really do think about that finger touch.

14:51

Like, I would lie if I said it was once a week.

14:53

It's once a day. because it

14:55

was the way their hands went up and then

14:57

their fingers touched. And I

14:59

really do think it's like a signal moment in

15:01

the history of American culture,

15:03

that was it. That was when, like,

15:05

music and tech in our

15:07

society. Like, it was the death of the

15:09

monoculture and the rise or whatever the fuck

15:11

kinda hellscape nightmare

15:13

society we live in. It was the fingers

15:15

touching that did it. Keep it

15:17

going.

15:22

You're probably

15:23

wondering what I'm dressed as.

15:25

And

15:30

I'll tell you, It's

15:31

obvious, isn't it? It's my favorite

15:34

shoes, black skirt,

15:36

and a free cowboy hat I got from the

15:38

Westworld premier. Speaking

15:42

of pope Francis, speaking of

15:49

What did that mean?

15:52

Speaking of, pope

15:54

Francis, that's how we're supposed

15:56

to go. Speaking

15:58

of pope Francis warned a group of seminarians this week

16:00

to beware of the vice of pornography while

16:03

using social media tools, said

16:05

the pope It's a vice that so many people

16:07

have, so many laymen, so many laywomen, and

16:09

also priests and nuns. The devil

16:11

enters from there. The devil

16:13

enters and he has this pizza

16:15

box. So it seems like he's

16:17

just the delivery guy, but then you realize you don't have

16:19

any money to pay for the pizza. And

16:21

you'll have to compensate him. some of the way.

16:23

And finally, last

16:26

week on the view, Joy Bay are casually told

16:28

her cohost that she had sex with a

16:30

few ghosts I've

16:34

heard of Ghost Busting, but Ghost

16:36

Busting. I've heard

16:39

of Ghost Busting. but

16:41

ghost busting. One

16:43

more time. I've heard

16:46

of ghost busting, but ghost spusting.

16:49

Thank you. When

16:51

we come back, pure

16:54

conjecture about which fictional

16:56

creatures One of

16:57

fact.

16:58

Thank

17:01

you. Now

17:03

word from our sponsors. October is known

17:05

as spooky

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If everyone doesn't go to vote Save America dot com

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But and look, here's the thing. If you don't

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do it, if you don't sign up, I will show up your house in

17:24

a hockey mask. and a chainsaw.

17:28

Just gonna

17:31

be one of those nights. just

17:34

keep going. With Halloween

17:36

in

17:36

mind, love or leave it is also spindingly excited

17:39

to be partnering with some new sponsors this week, be

17:41

fitting America entering It's

17:43

perma spooky era. For example,

17:48

this weekend, Merry Maids, the nation over will

17:50

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17:52

their festivities. Unfortunately, prices

17:54

on Uber and Lyft have been skyrocketing, which is why love

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18:00

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18:06

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18:08

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18:10

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18:12

with Hersha Walker. Now you might be thinking, love

18:14

it. How many people could possibly use this rideshare app?

18:16

Well, dear listener based on the news

18:19

this week, think you'd be surprised. Uber,

18:21

Hersha Walker. Honestly, this is like

18:23

maybe one good thing about him.

18:27

Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of love to

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leave it coming up. Love

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22:43

And

22:46

we're back. It's time

22:48

to get

22:50

spooky with our next guest. Please welcome back to

22:52

the show. Take Nattaro.

22:54

Hi, Jake.

22:58

How are you? Good to see you.

23:00

Good to see

23:01

you. How are

23:03

you doing? I'm doing well. How are you? I'm in a

23:04

state. Are you a

23:06

hard person? No.

23:09

shit. You don't

23:12

like scary movies? I don't like them. No.

23:14

Should I

23:15

go home? What are

23:18

your feelings on Alfred Kinsey?

23:21

Pretty

23:21

a good good.

23:22

You know what

23:24

the Kinsey scale? Mhmm.

23:25

I'm on

23:26

it. Hell yeah.

23:29

Yeah. Me too.

23:31

amiga Yeah.

23:32

you

23:32

look like you might be.

23:34

Like,

23:36

I would say

23:38

even more so than I am.

23:40

you think? Yeah. That outfit says

23:43

that, you know. Why

23:44

aren't

23:45

we all

23:46

on it in a sense? Yeah.

23:49

But you More on it.

23:51

Yeah. It's your

23:52

sweet spot. It's your place.

23:54

You know? Now

23:56

it would have been better than Taylor Swift

23:58

stepping on a a weight

23:59

scale. How cool would it be if she'd finally stepped

24:02

on a Kinsey scale? but that

24:04

we didn't get to see where it landed. And all the people

24:06

at TikTok that think Taylor swift is secretly gay and

24:08

send in the messages through the

24:10

mail, would be like, You

24:12

know? But

24:14

you prefaced that with, you know, it

24:16

would

24:16

be funny.

24:20

Everybody give

24:20

it up or take your Tara out.

24:23

I forgot

24:25

how much I love you, to be

24:27

honest. Really? Yes. and I

24:29

shouldn't ever forget that. But also, why

24:32

do people

24:34

think she's gay? Oh,

24:36

please. if you

24:38

go

24:38

Even though wrote that song about Tim McGraw

24:42

What? I think that

24:44

if you look closely if it's

24:47

if you look at some of the basically,

24:49

there's a kind of queuing on

24:51

like phenomenon of people coming through

24:53

the lyrics and finding patterns and

24:56

circling words in letters. And like so,

24:58

for example, if you go through Oliver

25:00

catalog, the words LG, B,

25:02

and T actually appear pretty

25:05

frequently in a lot of the songs. And people pointed

25:07

that and say, well, that's one example.

25:09

Also, she was friends with a hot woman,

25:11

and people assumed that they kissed

25:14

a lot. that's really important to

25:16

it. And by the

25:18

way, I'm in on it. By the

25:20

way, I'm pretending because I

25:22

try to seem like normal, but -- Yeah. -- I'm one of

25:24

these people that thinks that their

25:26

secret messages in the lyrics, hundred

25:28

percent, I'm not even joking. And one thing that I think about

25:30

the branding is if you think Taylor Swift

25:32

might be queer, you're a Gayler.

25:34

But if you think she's not, you're

25:36

a heckler. Tough. Right?

25:38

Good branding. You wanna be

25:40

a headler? It's one letter off.

25:44

From what? Now

25:45

it's time for

25:49

a game. We

25:51

call gay as hell, queer as hell razors, going

25:53

to rank horror movie monsters on

25:55

the Kinsey Scale. Alright? Are you ready?

25:57

I am. Alright. Just as a reminder for those

25:59

Hold on

25:59

a second. Now

26:02

I'm

26:03

ready. For those

26:07

of us who haven't taken a gender studies

26:09

class since two The Kinsey Scale

26:11

runs from zero to six with zero being

26:13

exclusively heterosexual and six

26:15

being exclusively homosexual

26:17

Kensey also added x to denote asexual people, and

26:19

we wanna shout out our ace icons, the

26:21

Cloverfield monster, and jean jacket from Jordan

26:23

Peele's nope. Tigg,

26:27

Yes. Are you ready? Yeah. We did

26:29

that already. Yeah. Then let us begin.

26:31

Okay. The

26:33

Wolfman That's the nineteen sixties Wolfman.

26:36

Uh-huh. This little tiny

26:38

head? Yeah. Do you remember him? He's kinda he

26:40

wears Oh, yeah.

26:41

Yeah. No. No. No. I remember him.

26:42

You know,

26:44

it's weird is when you asked

26:47

me if I liked horror, I

26:50

don't.

26:51

But

26:52

my my first job

26:55

when I moved to Los Angeles, I

26:57

worked Sam Ramey, the director.

27:00

Oh. What are you?

27:01

Sorry to bother you.

27:04

He

27:04

does horror films. like, the

27:06

theater in. But he also he did evil

27:08

dead and dark man and Oh, so you've

27:10

seen some of these films? Nope. You

27:12

haven't seen any of No.

27:14

I just answered the phone

27:15

and did a poor job

27:18

assisting. I

27:19

can see that. Yeah. that's

27:22

not gonna be something you excel at. No.

27:24

No. I don't think you bring a kind

27:26

of helpful attitude to the

27:28

phone. I'm a terrible person.

27:30

No. No. Come on. Do

27:32

you think he's gay or not? It's not

27:34

the answer. Hey, do you think this wolf head

27:36

is gay or not? judge

27:38

this Wolfman by his cover, the book, and

27:40

the Wolfman's face.

27:42

Pig

27:44

dog. is It's

27:46

big dog. Big dog. I would say that

27:49

is

27:49

is

27:51

I

27:54

think he's mostly gay.

27:56

Really?

27:56

I think he's pretty gay.

27:58

I think You

28:00

don't? I

28:02

started

28:02

to think he was very

28:05

hetero, but then I

28:07

saw the hairstyle.

28:10

Yeah. And I would

28:12

say

28:12

He skunks through the woods.

28:14

Yeah.

28:16

What

28:17

if we get

28:20

this wrong? Steaks

28:22

are pretty high. I guess we're right. Did we

28:24

get it wrong? It's It's pig dog.

28:26

So Pig yep.

28:29

It's

28:29

pig dog for sure. Okay. I'm gonna need an

28:31

answer. I'm gonna

28:32

say pig dog is

28:36

You gotta pick

28:36

something. This is like one

28:38

of those menus where there's too many

28:41

options. It's six

28:41

options famously. He

28:46

could be asexual. You can give him an ex.

28:48

If

28:48

you want. Ex.

28:49

Wow. The

28:53

the Wolfman's in the alley with a thing of flowers. You

28:55

just threw them in the garbage. Yeah.

28:58

Did you hear

28:58

the three claps I

29:01

got though?

29:01

That's what we do it for.

29:03

Yeah. This.

29:07

Next up, we

29:07

have nosferon too.

29:11

the vampire, he was once Ex.

29:14

That one was

29:17

easy. That's another ex. That

29:20

one was easy. That one was

29:22

easy. Alright.

29:24

Up next. Frankenstein's

29:27

monster. I mean, zero.

29:31

Wow. exclusively at our sexual. Yeah. exclusively

29:33

at our sexual. Now that raises an

29:35

interesting question. What about Frankenstein's

29:37

monsters bride? because

29:41

Well, three I heard

29:42

a three from the crowd. wait.

29:45

Didn't I say Hetero? I did. You

29:46

did.

29:47

Alright. I

29:49

meant

29:50

to say Hetero, and I

29:52

would say that she is. What

29:55

do you think? Is

29:56

this all up

29:57

to me? I can help.

29:58

I mean, I'm trying to

29:59

be server if I wanna hear your views. Outside

30:02

of hoping you would express an opinion that I would express

30:04

an opinion, but you kind of just stare at the screen

30:06

for a while. so

30:08

I'm sort of caught off guard

30:10

because I don't wanna seem too abrasive. You

30:12

think you're caught off guard. I

30:17

left my

30:17

family tonight and

30:20

came down to this theater

30:22

and I'm raiding monster movie

30:25

movie monsters on the

30:27

Kinsey Scale. You think I'm not

30:29

a little caught off guard?

30:30

We and the ideas in advance. Right?

30:32

We tell them Don't read my email.

30:35

Okay. Okay.

30:37

And so I am very caught off

30:40

guard. Well, I guess what I would say is,

30:42

what do you need right now to feel

30:44

supported? Do you

30:46

want more of me? Less of me? What?

30:48

Like, I'm here for you as a

30:50

host. I You always want more

30:52

of you.

30:53

I'm gonna put this woman's

30:56

head.

30:56

I

30:58

think that she has genuine love for Frankenstein, but

31:01

I think that she could also fall in

31:04

love with a

31:05

lot of different kinds of monsters.

31:08

So I'm gonna say too, I think

31:10

she's mostly heterosexual, but more

31:12

than slightly homosexual. What

31:14

do you think?

31:15

Sure.

31:17

I can't

31:18

imagine choosing to

31:20

fight over that.

31:23

I

31:24

don't

31:27

know

31:27

if it's because I'm fifty one and a half,

31:29

but it's like a choose

31:30

your battles type thing.

31:33

what do you wanna fight with me about? I

31:35

just love

31:35

you. Oh, you do? I do. I think

31:37

you're hilarious. I think you're adorable.

31:40

I think you're so smart.

31:42

I just love

31:43

you. But I wanna wrestle

31:46

you. Where are you

31:48

on the scale? Alright. Let's

31:51

keep going. Don't You don't have to answer that. It's not a real

31:53

scale. We're only raiding monsters. I'll let you know

31:55

when my head appears.

31:59

I'll be like,

32:00

oh, that's where I That's that's me

32:02

right

32:02

there. Next

32:07

up, We have

32:07

Freddie Kruger. Freddie

32:10

Kruger, Hans, your

32:12

dreams. I feel

32:13

like that is

32:18

zero.

32:18

Zero. Yeah. Sort

32:20

of in cell energy. Somebody

32:22

sounded

32:22

like they fell off

32:24

cliff They're

32:25

so upset. Ugh. Alright.

32:30

Now we have

32:30

I really came here to

32:33

hear Freddy Krueger rank elsewhere.

32:35

Yeah. I didn't come all the way

32:37

to Korea Town to find out if Freddy Krueger

32:40

doesn't like guys. What

32:43

is this fucking bullshit? I'm

32:49

disappointed. I paid for

32:51

this. Next

32:52

up, the mouthful is

32:54

skittles. We have

32:58

pinhead from the original Hellraiser.

33:00

never seen

33:01

the guy. That's him.

33:03

Really scary.

33:06

I would prefer

33:08

if he walked in over

33:10

pig

33:11

dot dog.

33:12

Right. Pig dog

33:13

was loose in my house. I

33:15

think Hellraiser is by. Don't

33:18

you think Right? That just

33:20

feels right. So we're gonna

33:21

put Hellraiser at three, but now we

33:23

have

33:23

the pinhead from the twenty twenty

33:26

two Hellraiser what conservatives

33:28

believe is low cal razors

33:32

because because it's

33:34

now AAA as a

33:37

lady. or it's just not a

33:39

guy. It might be a non binary hell

33:41

razor. Is it not do we know what

33:43

they've said? The hell razor has become

33:45

The point is, if the conservatives are upset, they're saying,

33:48

ah, everyone knows that Hellraiser

33:50

is a man. I can't

33:51

Everyone

33:52

knows Hellraiser is

33:54

not in blue man group.

33:55

That's what

33:58

I've heard people say. Did

33:59

you ever did you ever

34:02

see the movie splice? Oh.

34:04

Is it a horror

34:06

film? Yeah.

34:07

It reminds me of that. Well, should

34:09

we move

34:10

on? I think

34:13

this Hellraiser is gay. This

34:15

Hellraiser is gay. All the six on the scale. Six

34:17

on the scale. I feel like you're not

34:19

even checking with me

34:22

anymore. You know,

34:24

look. What? You and I

34:27

have had these conversations. Yeah. when

34:29

I try to make space for you, you say that I'm not supporting, I'm not showing up,

34:31

I'm not participating. When then and then when

34:33

I do participate, you say that I'm doing it wrong.

34:35

We've never

34:37

met.

34:41

So we email you

34:43

and say, hey, we have this great idea

34:45

for Halloween segment. We're

34:48

gonna rate movies. And you say, great. What time should I be there? And at no point, do

34:50

you ever respond and say, I've never seen a

34:52

horror movie in my entire fucking life.

34:54

The most classic and

34:56

iconic characters in the history of horror.

34:58

Every single damn one and you don't know who

35:00

any of these people are. And at no point

35:02

in the producing of this show did occur

35:04

to you, to say one

35:06

note. Tim Curry Pennywise, he's a fucking four.

35:08

Now let's go to the

35:11

the Skarsgard one. Scars

35:13

guards five. What are

35:16

we just

35:17

plowing through with

35:20

no thought? I

35:23

was looking forward to this episode. This

35:26

episode.

35:28

Oh, ah Do

35:30

you even

35:30

like me? I love you.

35:32

I fucking love you. I'm such a fan

35:34

of your accent. That's what I'm hearing. That's what I'm hearing.

35:36

This That's why I'm

35:38

over here. I'm over here.

35:40

Let's

35:41

wrap it up. I have a

35:43

heart out in five minutes. In

35:45

the biz, that means I

35:47

gotta go. Yeah. But everybody says they

35:49

have a heart out, but they don't mean it. They probably I

35:51

don't I don't really have a family.

35:53

Who is it? Who

35:54

on earth has ever had

35:56

an eight twenty five PM hard out?

35:59

Finally, There's

36:02

more. No. I yeah.

36:04

I know. Let's try to get

36:06

you home to your family. What

36:10

about slash Slack.

36:13

That's

36:14

that's

36:15

the fucking bbabude. That

36:17

is the bbabude. Okay.

36:19

And we know zero slashes

36:23

hundred

36:23

percent. No. Straight.

36:25

No. We It's

36:29

widely known that the Babadook is a gay icon.

36:32

It's widely known. am

36:34

I? Family

36:41

nodes, family.

36:46

Me? Yeah.

36:48

I'm

36:48

simply the best.

36:50

It says thank

36:52

you so much, TIG. Plug. Is there

36:55

a plug you

36:55

wanna do? Well, I have a podcast called Donas

36:58

Tig, and I also have a

37:00

podcast called Tig and Cheryl

37:02

True Story. I also a

37:04

book called, I'm just a person. I

37:06

have several stand up specials.

37:08

I A plug.

37:10

Is there anything

37:12

like this one thing that's new ish

37:14

that you want just one of them? I

37:16

did premium blend on comedy

37:20

central. twenty four years

37:22

ago.

37:23

Wow. That's cool. Thank you

37:25

so much. Tignatara, everybody. This is

37:27

a glass. Goodbye.

37:30

We come back. Ed Helms is here.

37:37

And we're back.

37:38

Here to help us

37:40

pick the king of candies, the

37:42

emperor

37:42

of edibles, the sultan of sugar. This

37:46

Halloween, why? the

37:47

sweetest man in Hollywood.

37:49

It's Ed Helms. Ed

37:51

Helms, everybody. Good to see

37:53

you. Thanks for being here. Hello.

37:56

Hello. Ed, we just did a segment with Ignataro about

37:58

-- I'm so sorry. --

37:59

iconic horror films. And then

38:02

it was

38:04

revealed that hasn't seen any of them.

38:06

You're familiar with Kandi.

38:10

Kandi. Kandi.

38:12

Kandi. Kandi. It's like Kandi, but with why

38:14

at the end. Okay? You know Sure. It's dessert you can

38:16

keep in your pocket. I don't shittiest.

38:22

Ed, what for your money is the best get and what

38:24

is the worst? I would say that

38:27

the best Halloween candy

38:30

is a full sized

38:32

baby Ruth candy bar. Nice.

38:34

Or butterfinger. Butterfinger, interesting.

38:36

It's just kind of interesting. interesting.

38:38

And that was apparently very controversial. But

38:41

butterfinger yeah. I consider butterfinger

38:43

niche. What do you think what's

38:46

the worst? Oh, here's a question, sorry, before I have a

38:48

question for your question. Is

38:50

butterfinger peanut

38:51

butter

38:53

or toffee? Oh,

38:54

I always thought it was peanut butter. Me got in a

38:56

fist fight with someone recently because

38:59

they was Tigotaro base

39:02

age. She

39:04

is my archival. It's

39:06

called butter. It's

39:07

called butter, but butter is of one of

39:09

the main ingredients of toffee. So it's

39:11

-- Oh. -- people think it's tough. Someone told me

39:14

Is it or is it What do you think? Peanut butter.

39:16

Right? I don't want it's

39:19

just butter. It's butter. Let's

39:21

talk about the baby roots. God.

39:24

And you think that's a better candy bar than the tried and

39:26

true of the sneakers? The Patriots

39:28

candy bar. I love

39:30

a snickers. Mhmm. But I just think

39:32

for some reason on Halloween,

39:34

a baby earth feels

39:36

more special. more substantial. The stickers, they're kind of a

39:38

dime a dozen. I mean, they're great.

39:40

It's a fantastic candy.

39:42

But the baby

39:43

Ruth is like, It's

39:45

bumpier. It is bumpier. It is

39:48

bumpier. And that's something important about

39:50

it. What do you think about the the

39:52

hundred grand? which is again -- Love

39:54

it. -- it's another version of the same thing, really. Mhmm. Quite similar to me. Is it not?

39:56

How dare you? People are

39:58

saying it's not. Yeah. Get the

40:02

fuck out of here with that blasphemy.

40:04

Hundred grand is a caramel

40:06

forward. It's more caramel forward.

40:09

It's more caramel forward with

40:11

notes of of

40:14

crunch. Raisins. What

40:15

are they doing? around Halloween -- Get a fuck

40:17

out of you. -- Halloween candy. That was my mom. My

40:19

mom was the one giving out, like,

40:21

boxes of raisins. Hey.

40:25

Hey, Doug. I can be mad

40:27

at my mom. Don't you dare poo

40:29

my mom. But, yeah, she gave out a lot

40:31

of healthy stuff. And

40:34

let's

40:34

dig in. Shall we?

40:36

It's a segment we're calling

40:38

hell raisin and raisin hell.

40:42

We have a bracket. We're gonna have to wane on the ultimate candy Halloween.

40:44

We're gonna crown the winner, and

40:46

the winner will

40:47

get crowns. You know? because

40:49

of teeth. because, like,

40:52

crowns like, dental

40:53

tech doesn't candy because of candy. I

40:55

thought you're thinking because of tea.

40:57

teeth that you drink because of the tea that

40:59

you drink. We have a lot of candy

41:01

in this bag, which we can eat or not eat.

41:03

And if you need to be reminded what candy

41:06

tastes like, Ed, are you

41:08

ready? Yes. Alright. First

41:10

up, we have chislers

41:12

versus sour

41:14

punch

41:14

straws. Alright, West Coast.

41:16

I know this is this

41:18

is basically a sour patch.

41:21

kid that has been run

41:24

over. It's kinda gruesome.

41:26

It's different, but it's different. I don't

41:28

think I've even ever had a sour

41:30

punch. Oh. Oh, yeah. You're right. It's different.

41:32

Yeah. It's more like

41:33

a twizzler with sour stuff on

41:35

it. That's good. I

41:38

didn't This is really good. Are we beat is there a way to beat the twissler? Beat

41:40

the twissler. It beats the twissler.

41:45

Next up. Oh, that was awesome. We have Reese's peanut

41:48

butter cups versus York Pepper and

41:50

Patty. I mean, I don't even do you wanna try one?

41:52

Do you need to try either

41:54

of these? Are you a need a I need a refresher of

41:56

that cool refreshing York peppermint patty? That a

41:58

York peppermint patty for you. I'm gonna see what

41:59

sensation I

42:02

get. That's an old commercial reference.

42:04

Kids, I'm with you.

42:06

I remember. Boy, is that

42:08

good? Oh, man, is that good? You like

42:10

them? I think it's gross.

42:12

I think it's AdWords. Those AdWords is

42:14

trying to fool us into eating toothpaste. That's

42:16

for snacks. Yeah. It does taste like toothpaste.

42:18

You're right. Yeah. Now I hate it.

42:21

You just wrote it for me. Reese's for the

42:23

win, peanut butter cups, for

42:25

the win. Am and

42:27

joy versus peanut m

42:30

and m's. Yeah. Come on. That's a no brainer.

42:32

Honest, I like coconut, but not

42:34

in my candy bars. I find it Wait.

42:36

Are they urinating? Are there omnidroid people here?

42:39

But

42:42

why why

42:42

is it called almond joy when the

42:44

primary flavor is cooked? Well, because almond

42:47

joy has nuts and mounds don't. Well,

42:50

that's a great

42:53

point. You all enjoy people who can eat

42:55

shit. Pete and M and M's

42:58

rule.

42:59

gummy bears versus sour patch

43:02

kids. Wow. Well,

43:05

this this is a very unified audience.

43:07

Yeah. They have the palette of children.

43:09

Yeah. Gummy bears. A sourbears kit is

43:11

a gummy bear with

43:13

a flourish. Yeah.

43:16

Well, they're people. Right? That is

43:19

they're they're kids. Do you want it? They're

43:21

little they're you're eating children. You

43:23

are eating children. And

43:26

that's fucked up. That is fucked up. What do you

43:28

think? I could they not

43:29

have figured out a better way to do this

43:31

than a loose bag of candy? Ed

43:33

Helms is here. By the way, how did

43:35

this where did you got this bag out of

43:37

a nineteen seventy five YMCA? Like,

43:40

how did this are there gym

43:42

socks in there? It was part of a it was part

43:44

of a VIP merch bag we once

43:46

made in two thousand nineteen. Oh, it's a

43:48

branded bag. I'm so sorry. But as you can see, there were

43:50

several leftovers from the twenty

43:52

nineteen edition. Yes. And and

43:54

now We win the costume contest. Guess

43:56

what? This

43:58

is the prize. So I

43:59

see the skipper out there. I'm rooting for you,

44:02

maybe, depending on what the other two are

44:04

wearing. What do you think? Sour patch

44:06

or gummy? Well, the answer to this one is

44:08

gummy bears. Okay. I'll give it to you. I'm okay

44:10

with that. You're okay with

44:12

that. I made a strong case, but I'll give it to you. I

44:14

like a sour patch kid.

44:16

Starbursts versus Swedish fish.

44:18

Starbursts. Wow.

44:22

Wow. What what's your starburst? I will fight

44:24

a Swedish fish person

44:26

right now. What's starburst

44:29

flavor? Well, first of all, it's a texture thing. The starburst

44:31

is so chewy. It's like the

44:33

perfect chew. It's a lot of brand new. So

44:35

they're all amazing. And and as

44:38

a kid, and sometimes as an adult, I will see

44:40

how many I

44:40

could fit into my mouth and

44:43

chew at once. Yeah.

44:45

You did die when you did that and everything since

44:48

has been a ghost

44:50

like experience. Yes. I no one

44:52

can see you but me. Mhmm. I'm on

44:54

an astral plane. Yeah. I

44:56

starbursted. He starbursted then. Yeah.

44:58

What's your what's your flavor?

45:00

I'm gonna say lemon.

45:03

Wow. Yeah. Wow. Oh my

45:05

god. That's what makes America grain,

45:07

you know. What? somebody who

45:09

was so freaked out by that. There really are, there

45:11

are citrus people, there are red people, and then

45:14

there are fucking sick freaks

45:16

that like strawberry. the

45:18

absolute sickest of freaks. I

45:20

wouldn't let a person who goes for the

45:22

strawberry starbucks watch my dog. I

45:24

wouldn't let you watch my laptop at

45:26

a coffee shop. You are sickos. That is a sick

45:28

flavor. Starbucks wins.

45:30

Yeah. It's an easy win. That's

45:32

an easy win. Starbucks you

45:35

wanna sneakers versus hundred grand? Let

45:37

me

45:37

remind you. Let me try it. Let me try it. Let me try it. be

45:40

reminded of the hundred grand. They're so

45:42

expensive of these

45:44

candy bars. Oh, it's not like a snickers.

45:46

That was wrong. Wow.

45:48

It's good, though. Oh, good. But

45:50

is it as good as a snickers?

45:53

You know what?

45:54

I do like a

45:55

hundred grand, but the snickers

45:57

really satisfies. Nice.

46:01

Send this to the Snickers people. See you

46:04

can get anything going.

46:06

God, that's good though. Next up.

46:09

it's

46:09

the multiple candy bars in

46:11

one thing bracket. It's time

46:14

for

46:14

the cat KitKatz

46:15

versus

46:17

wix Twicks. It's interesting.

46:18

It's interesting. It's interesting.

46:21

McDonald's gonna win every time. So that

46:23

argues for the twicks. Yeah. That's

46:26

right. That's not even close. Twix. Twix.

46:28

Twix. Twix. Twix.

46:30

How do you eat a

46:32

how do you eat a twist twix? you just,

46:34

like, take a bite and then chew on it? Or do you

46:36

I I wanna know what comes what's

46:39

the other option? I

46:41

I prefer mine suppository. Yeah. I

46:44

take a bite at you

46:46

on it. I'm having the dark time doing

46:48

this hundred grand bar. even

46:52

talk. Wow. That is, like, really thick caramel.

46:54

Okay. So how does one eat a twix? How

46:56

do I eat a twix? I am weird, but I eat

46:58

a twix by biting the caramel

47:01

part off and separating it

47:03

from the cookie and then

47:05

and chewing on the caramel and then

47:07

eating the cookie. Wow. And if you haven't done it

47:09

that way, you're going to now and you're

47:12

gonna be like, that Ed Holmes is

47:14

a genius.

47:17

I don't think oh, here's the twix. I'm not gonna eat

47:19

that way in front of these people. But

47:21

I just want you to know, oh, this is a left

47:23

twix, by the way, which I think is fun. They

47:25

tell you which side it's from. just a

47:27

little bit of marketing, you know, right there.

47:29

I'm gonna try it that way later. That sounds good. I

47:31

think it's like you made it two desserts

47:34

right away. in a second. It's two courses. It's two courses.

47:36

Twicks, wins. Next up. Milky

47:38

Waver is plain m and m's. Wow.

47:40

That's that's a first seed versus

47:42

a whatever.

47:44

Plain M

47:44

and M's. Who he's playing M and M's

47:47

anymore? Yeah. I don't think So the last

47:49

time I

47:49

plain M and M's were even in my life was

47:51

as a reward to

47:54

my top are for going to the bathroom. That's like the

47:56

only thing people use immines for

47:58

now. Right? Did you line them

47:59

up like

47:59

ET to get them to go to the bathroom? Or is

48:02

it after

48:04

after they went. No. It's after a

48:06

number two. They get a m and M1M

48:09

and m? No. guaranteed.

48:12

The mystery to me. Yeah. And

48:14

I'm not saying it's a good thing to do. I

48:16

just it's I like it. What

48:19

yeah. It it worked. and it

48:21

worked for potty training. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to

48:23

my podcast about potty training

48:25

your children with M

48:28

and M's. We'll

48:30

be right back. Alright.

48:34

Let's now we we're in the what do you call

48:36

12348 It's the

48:39

elite eight. Alright. Sour patch

48:41

versus Reese's peanut butter cup, what do

48:43

you

48:43

think? Yeah. I'm gonna take

48:46

Reese's. Yeah.

48:47

No. You're

48:48

wrong. It's Reese's

48:51

audience member. Peanut m and

48:53

m's versus gummy bear. It's this is the chocolate

48:55

versus fruit. This is, you know, it's it's the tough one, you know. It's hard to say.

48:57

It's a mood thing as well. It's sort of

48:59

the sweet versus savory. I'm gonna go with

49:01

peanut m and m.

49:03

Okay. Like, as support that, I said it's such a staple

49:05

in my life.

49:08

I'm losing. You guys all filled out

49:11

your final four brackets ahead of time. Now

49:13

remember, this is a squid game situation, and half

49:15

of these people will not see tomorrow.

49:17

Oh my god. high

49:20

stakes starbursts versus snickers.

49:24

Wow. Wow.

49:26

Wow. Again, For me, it's a

49:28

savory choice. Yeah. I agree. sneakers. We gotta

49:30

go sneakers. We gotta go sneakers. Come

49:32

on. Come on. It's basically a

49:34

meal substitute.

49:36

Alright. It's caramel on caramel violence. It's twix versus milky

49:38

way. Wix. Wix. Wix. Wix.

49:41

Wix. Wow. You know what? This

49:43

is actually I I like our

49:45

final four. I like the feeling

49:47

of it. They're all a little similar. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Wow.

49:50

So now we are in the final

49:54

four. It's Reese's peanut butter cups versus peanut m and m's, it's

49:56

sneakers versus twix. I feel like

49:58

there's nothing like a Reese's peanut

50:00

butter cup. You

50:02

know?

50:02

What do you think? A peanut

50:04

m and m is just kind of looking

50:06

at that Reese's

50:06

peanut butter company. It's just like, turn

50:09

me into that. Okay? You know what I mean? Like,

50:11

grind me up and make me something

50:13

better. Sure. But a peanut,

50:15

m and m, is

50:18

lots

50:18

of different colors. That's true. That's fun.

50:21

They're crunchy. They are they are

50:23

crunchy. I feel like eating a Reese's peanut

50:25

butter cup is often messier than

50:28

than you want it to be. That's true. Like, getting out of that little fucking

50:30

paper cup is -- Yeah. -- what's that paper

50:32

doing? mess. What's that paper doing? And it's and,

50:34

like, just the it gets on your fingers and

50:37

you can just dump a bag of M and M's in your mouth,

50:39

no problem. And you can take a bag of peanut m and m's

50:41

and put them in the popcorn. Yeah. People

50:43

do that. So it's inside your own

50:45

side being upset. Yeah. I'm yeah.

50:48

Peanut m and m's. For me peanut peanut m and m's

50:52

defeats. Fun favorite

50:54

first seed. You're

50:58

supposed to what? You're supposed to refrigerate

51:00

them. You son of a

51:02

bitch. True.

51:04

I meant to tell you, that's

51:06

Frank Reese's. He's a fucking billionaire and a prick.

51:11

Alright. Snickers versus twix.

51:14

Snickers. Snickers. Snickers. Yes.

51:18

Yes. What? What? It's

51:20

the classic. Well, now

51:22

they're so sad. They're so

51:24

angry. Some people are so angry and some people

51:26

are just so angry that we're still

51:29

talking about candy. Yeah. That's part

51:32

of the fun. Okay. Wow. It's down for the versus peanut

51:36

and m's. Let's

51:38

do one. Should we see what the audience pull what's pull along? gonna pull

51:40

you. But you could please please be respectful

51:42

of don't over applaud to try to help your

51:44

side, you know, a similar range

51:48

the niggers Snickers. Peanut

51:51

m and m. That

51:55

is surprising. Snickers You

51:58

know what

51:59

evidence? Well, I think it's

52:01

pretty clear that

52:04

Snickers won. Oh

52:06

my gosh. They're coming at you with pitchforks and torches.

52:08

Yeah. If you wanted this to

52:10

be democracy, you should have done this

52:13

five

52:13

years ago. I agree. Especially when

52:15

you break when you're doing the

52:17

Halloween version because you get the

52:19

trick or treat baggy

52:20

of peanut m and m's is a joke. There's

52:22

like three in there. Yeah. There's nothing

52:24

in there. Yeah. And the snickers fun

52:27

side snickers rules. I

52:29

don't go over the size one, the little tiny ones. Get those

52:32

out of there. Yeah. Get them out of there. Keep them

52:34

fun. Keep them fun size. Thank you. We're

52:36

trying to have fun here.

52:38

Yeah. Now, before we let you go,

52:40

you have a brand new podcast called

52:42

Snafu, where you're looking at, like, some of history's

52:44

biggest fuckups. Yes. It's awesome. Can

52:46

you just tell people about it?

52:48

Yeah. Oh, I'm very excited to talk about it. It's called

52:50

Snafu. First season just came out. It's

52:52

about this crazy thing

52:54

called Abel Archer eighty three. It's a

52:58

true story. where

52:58

NATO had a military exercise that really

53:00

scared the Russians in nineteen eighty three

53:02

during the cold war. And we

53:06

came like very scarily

53:07

close to an actual nuclear war, and nobody knows about

53:09

this. And it's something that is

53:11

sort of just

53:14

recently classified and is a really exciting and

53:17

darkly hilarious story. And so

53:19

check out the podcast. And if you

53:21

like it, leave a review. So

53:23

and they think the second season may be about this

53:26

episode of Love and Reliefit, which is

53:28

really exciting. Everybody go check out

53:30

Snafu at Elm. Thank you so much. Thank you. He's

53:32

after the Fearwell.

53:38

Halloween is all about candy and candy is all about

53:40

putting aside your worries to enjoy

53:42

a brief moment of pure simple sweetness until now. This episode

53:44

of Love Relief, it has brought you by Reese's

53:46

limited edition climate apocalypse peanut

53:48

butter cups If you

53:50

like their classic seasonal shapes like pumpkin

53:52

and ghost, you'll love sinking your fangs

53:54

into a spooky scary shape like

53:56

devastating tsunami and

53:58

calving glacier That unbeatable chocolate peanut butter combo now paired with an

53:59

unceasing awareness of the most horrifying

54:02

crisis of our time, a kind of low

54:04

of permanent worry that Casa Paul over

54:06

the very

54:08

experience of being alive, Reese's limited edition climate

54:10

apocalypse peanut butter cups because not

54:12

all of us have time to throw clam chowder

54:15

at a It's

54:17

gonna

54:19

take a lot

54:22

of soup had a lot of art to

54:24

fix this crisis. They

54:28

said marching into the

54:30

Gooohanne. And

54:32

we're back. It's

54:33

Halloween and you know

54:36

what

54:36

that means? It's time

54:38

for the annual drawing where a few lucky celebrities post

54:40

a picture of a gov smoking cost and revealing

54:42

shockingly poor taste on one or multiple axes, here to discuss

54:44

the widely misguided Halloween decisions of the famous

54:46

and powerful who are, as we

54:50

all know, Better. It's the

54:51

hilarious, Kevin Avery, and the amazing Lindsay Cooperman.

54:57

Come on in. Nice

54:59

to meet you, Lizzie. Oh, it's

55:00

a pleasure. Seeing you for

55:02

the first time, Kevin welcome. Hey. Well, thank

55:04

you. What's your most offensive Halloween costume?

55:07

The

55:07

most offensive one that I did? Well, when I was in seventh

55:09

grade -- Mhmm. -- and my mother dressed me

55:11

as a sex

55:14

worker. And she was like, I'm

55:16

sure we have some jewelry lying around the

55:18

house. And I was with a friend, and

55:20

she dressed us both like that. And

55:22

that friend was Not a lot. Is this too serious for

55:24

the day?

55:25

No. It's good. It's good. My guy was

55:27

on the streets. I don't know.

55:29

I've hardened New

55:32

Hope, Minnesota.

55:32

Seventh

55:34

grade.

55:34

Seventh grade of my mom, for

55:37

whatever reason, may she rest in

55:39

peace, had this idea to dress

55:41

us this way. And then that friend was not allowed to

55:43

hang out with me for

55:44

a while. I think

55:46

that's cool. Thank you. Kevin, did you ever dress up

55:49

as a sex worker when you were in

55:51

middle school? every year. That was

55:53

my thing. No,

55:54

I didn't go. Let's

55:57

take some imagination. I didn't I

55:59

was like Batman every year. One year, I was a drunk

56:02

dad. And and all

56:04

that was was

56:06

I who on it was me and my

56:08

underwear, just some box of briefs, like

56:10

an old t shirt with

56:12

some spaghetti stains on it and a

56:15

robe. and I had a tall boy,

56:17

like, cores and a bat. And

56:19

I

56:19

walked around. And I I

56:21

was supposed to go to a

56:23

a party like that. And then I don't know what

56:25

happened, but it was just way too easy to

56:27

sit at home. And I was like, this is just

56:29

what I wear at

56:32

the house. And so I just hung out in children. You just wore

56:34

that. I just was that.

56:36

That's just what you were that's happened. You were led to

56:38

beer. I didn't do anything with the bat, but,

56:40

you know, That's

56:42

cool.

56:42

Can I say something in my mother's defense? because she's not here to

56:44

talk to

56:45

her. I think you probably have

56:47

to. I I have to. I

56:48

feel like at the time which

56:51

was nineteen

56:52

forty three. People would

56:54

be like, I'm a Hobo. You

56:56

know? And and that was accepted as a

56:59

Halloween cause. For sure.

56:59

That was a lot of hope. Well, that was the easy costume. Yeah. because

57:01

you just would go to the yard, you'd get a stick, you

57:03

get a bandana, and then your your

57:05

mom would put makeup on you to make you

57:07

look dirty. Right. And then you read

57:09

this the Bundle -- Yeah. -- and you were in a hat, and you were not. You said the Bundle? A Bundle.

57:11

Wow. Okay. That's what that's called. Right?

57:14

Yes. We're still allowed to say we can

57:16

say Bundle. Right?

57:19

It's called UnSacked. When

57:23

I was

57:26

a kid, Amazingly

57:28

nobody figured out I was gay because

57:30

we had a box of Halloween stuff

57:32

in the basement just like a big plastic container

57:34

filled with different kinds of things and

57:37

I would never want to be one thing. I

57:39

would always put something together, but

57:41

it would often end up being

57:43

the same costume which was a beetlejuice mask, a cape, a

57:45

top hat, and like a cane or something or

57:48

just something to have in my hand -- Sure. --

57:50

which is

57:52

just gay dancing beetlejuice year after year.

57:54

And did beetlejuice have

57:57

is that

57:57

sciatica? Did beetlejuice have

57:59

some kind of

58:01

Was he okay? Is that what you're asking? Well,

58:03

you think about it. Why did he have

58:05

the cane? Right. I'm not sure. But but

58:08

I'm curious. I think maybe because

58:10

he got injured by a sandworm at the end of the film.

58:12

But but but so I would take off the top hat and

58:14

then this beetlejuice mask, you

58:16

could like squeeze something and that,

58:20

like, three little heads. Do you know if Bealjuice's little heads would pop

58:22

up? Yes. Right. Right. Fuckin' world.

58:25

Oh my god.

58:26

god I

58:28

want you to do beetlejuice in a

58:30

rascal now. That's a

58:31

Modern technology. Just just

58:33

old beetlejuice. Alright. Kevin

58:36

and Lizzie, are you ready to play a game we're calling? Say yes to the dress,

58:39

say no to the spirit Halloween

58:41

turban. Alright. Here's

58:43

how it works. Alright. I'm gonna tell you about an offensive costume, and

58:45

you need to decide whether it's a real costume that

58:47

a celebrity or famous person or a or

58:49

a politician wore or that it's not, then we made it

58:51

up. Right. Here

58:54

we go. Justin Trudeau dressed in full brownface and

58:56

a turban for a two thousand and one

58:58

Arabian nights party, True

59:00

or false. True.

59:04

You got it. It's a big time true.

59:06

Yeah. Oh, we don't get to see it.

59:09

No. There it is. Oh, wow. I wish I had

59:11

I wish I had overemortized.

59:14

I apologize. That was on me. That's

59:16

my bad. Jesus.

59:19

I mean, it was worse on

59:21

the big screen. We can only see there.

59:23

We I almost okay.

59:26

I know about this person because of their occasional offensive costumes, and

59:28

then I forget their name. It's

59:31

Julian. Oh. How's

59:34

it? I was waiting for this one. She dressed this tasty from oranges and

59:36

new black complete with an orange jumpsuit and bronze

59:40

skin. Cheers. false. It was a trick

59:42

question. What? What? How's that?

59:44

Crazy

59:46

eyes. That's fucking

59:47

rude. Yeah. You

59:49

know? You know where I mean, you know Yeah.

59:51

Well done. Alright. I see what you're doing now. Yeah.

59:53

It's not doing. Some of them are hard. Alright.

59:55

Katie Perry dressed up as a cool ranch

59:57

Dorito, true or false. Some of

59:59

these

59:59

aren't offensive. They're just fun and silly.

1:00:01

Wow. I'm

1:00:04

gonna

1:00:04

say, Well,

1:00:06

no. No. All your people saying, no. What if you just

1:00:09

haven't seen it? Right. Right. It's a

1:00:11

great idea for a cost. It's a

1:00:13

pretty cool idea. What I'm

1:00:15

sitting here thinking is how can I make a cool

1:00:17

ranch Dorito costume in three days?

1:00:20

Yes. I'm like, is it

1:00:21

a different flavor Dorito?

1:00:24

I

1:00:24

say false. That's

1:00:25

correct. It was

1:00:26

a flaming hot cheeto.

1:00:29

Okay. And honestly, that rule. You're just

1:00:31

out you're fucking with us. Yeah. With

1:00:33

the trip. What is that? What? It's a

1:00:36

she's a flaming odd cheeto. Well,

1:00:38

it's awesome. You don't have nobody who

1:00:40

loves her because that is not what

1:00:42

I guess it's sorta. I think it's cool as hell. No. That's

1:00:44

a baby

1:00:44

that's a baby carrier. I'm

1:00:47

coming around. There's

1:00:50

some off about it. There's some off. Some are not right.

1:00:52

This is an organic appeal.

1:00:54

Why did she look so

1:00:56

sad? Next

1:00:58

up, OJ Simpson dressed as a gynecologist and said he was giving

1:01:01

free exams. Okay.

1:01:03

Famously the worst thing

1:01:05

he's ever done.

1:01:09

Wow. Okay. This is triggering for

1:01:12

me actually because I just found out my

1:01:14

gynecologist died. Sorry.

1:01:16

I did. I called

1:01:18

for an appointment. They were like, I don't know if you

1:01:20

heard the news, but he died. They go,

1:01:22

and you were the last patient

1:01:23

he saw. And I was like,

1:01:25

my vagina killed my doctor.

1:01:28

No, Belle, for that. Come on. You're

1:01:30

falling down on the I'm sorry.

1:01:32

Absolutely, Chris. Absolutely, really. Absolutely,

1:01:35

really. So they told you that. They

1:01:37

told me

1:01:37

that on the phone. There

1:01:39

was a pause. I said,

1:01:41

I'd like to make an appointment with a doctor

1:01:44

Goldberg, and there was a pregnant

1:01:46

pause. And then they said, I

1:01:47

don't know if you heard the

1:01:49

news doctor Goldberg. passed away and then she flipped through

1:01:51

the book, she goes, and you were actually last patient he

1:01:54

saw. Wow.

1:01:54

Fun fact. That's so

1:01:58

interesting. Right. don't know what to do with this information. It's just, like, kind of,

1:02:00

like, it just leaves you just wanna it's just

1:02:02

sort of, oh. Right. I'm, like, how

1:02:04

soon

1:02:04

mike how soon as

1:02:05

after? How much time It was We

1:02:07

we have no we have no it was

1:02:09

seconds later. It's like So the

1:02:12

0JII actually can I

1:02:14

just say I

1:02:16

think knowing

1:02:17

OJ. I'm gonna say true. I say true

1:02:20

because he had that show

1:02:22

with Juice or something like that he had remember

1:02:24

OJ had

1:02:26

a prank show. So this just feels right down o j

1:02:28

lane. Yeah. You got it. He did it. Next

1:02:30

up, audience. Really freaked out.

1:02:33

Oh my goodness. I didn't realize we

1:02:35

had a picture of that one. Oh, that's tough. That's tough.

1:02:37

That's tough. Next up, Miley

1:02:40

Cyrus dressed up

1:02:42

as those That robe was shining. What if

1:02:43

what if you were like whatever you were

1:02:45

like, oh my god. That's doctor Goldberg.

1:02:50

Holy shit.

1:02:57

And it's the

1:02:59

same

1:03:01

glove. Yeah. Next

1:03:06

up, hats off. hats off. Miley

1:03:09

Cyrus dressed up as

1:03:12

Osama Bin Laden in two thousand

1:03:14

and five. In

1:03:16

two thousand

1:03:17

five -- Two thousand five. --

1:03:19

I'm gonna say false. What do you think was that?

1:03:21

I

1:03:21

I think I'm going

1:03:21

true with this one. It was false. We made it

1:03:23

up. We made it up. Okay.

1:03:26

Next up.

1:03:26

Ron DeSantis' secretary of state

1:03:29

Michael Ertel turned in his resignation in twenty

1:03:31

nineteen after a photo of his two thousand and

1:03:33

five Halloween costume was published by

1:03:35

the local newspaper, the Tallahassee Democrat, in which he

1:03:37

wore blackface a headscarf in earrings and

1:03:40

wrote Katrina victim on his

1:03:42

t shirt mere weeks after

1:03:44

the disaster. sure.

1:03:46

That's fucking true. It's true.

1:03:48

He's not showing that. He's just like

1:03:50

that motherfucker did that shit. what an imagination it

1:03:52

would have taken. That's wants to make up a detail. There

1:03:55

was so much information. It just kept fucking

1:03:57

going. I was like, okay. I'm

1:03:59

okay. Yep. It's true. You got it.

1:04:01

Okay. Next up, Kim

1:04:03

Kardashian dressed up as Sakajuya,

1:04:05

but specifically the version from the

1:04:07

one dollar coin.

1:04:08

Oh, okay. I don't know if you're trying to throw us with one dollar

1:04:12

coin. Okay. Well,

1:04:12

what do you think? I'm like, it

1:04:15

was a Chuck E. Cheese. Okay. I'm

1:04:19

going true. I say false. Kevin

1:04:21

is correct, but shout out to Ali

1:04:23

for coming up with a

1:04:25

very realistic sounding It

1:04:28

did It sounded good. It sounded good. Felt real fun stuff,

1:04:30

Ali. Lizzie, III thought it was real too.

1:04:32

Print Harry dressed up as a Nazi,

1:04:34

complete with a swastika arm band.

1:04:37

Yeah. We're like, what? Yeah.

1:04:39

We were there for

1:04:42

that. Yeah. I seem to remember that.

1:04:44

Yeah. It's true. Yeah. He did. Yeah. was

1:04:46

in a different phase of his

1:04:48

narrative. So it doesn't stick now. The

1:04:50

narrative doesn't hurt his health, the narrative.

1:04:52

What was his didn't he have a

1:04:54

whole reason for, like, a logical

1:04:56

I think his excuse was Oopsie Daisy. I

1:04:58

don't I don't think he got it.

1:05:01

Oh my goodness. God, that's a terrible costume. Jesus

1:05:03

Christ. He doesn't look good. A real

1:05:06

blunder. A real

1:05:07

blunder.

1:05:09

next up Next up, Bella Hadid wore an

1:05:11

extremely misguided little John costume during Halloween

1:05:13

two thousand seven, but to be fair,

1:05:15

she was eleven years old. This

1:05:17

is one of those

1:05:19

things. Wait. Too many details.

1:05:21

Two thousand seven, false.

1:05:22

It was

1:05:23

a papa John

1:05:24

costume It was false. She didn't

1:05:26

do it at all. Next up,

1:05:29

YouTuber Jake Paul drew controversy for dressing

1:05:31

up as a self styled superhero

1:05:34

White Panther. What do you think, Kevin? You can see it,

1:05:36

Kea. You can almost close your eyes and pick it up. What

1:05:38

I'm doing? I'm just like But have you seen it? Okay.

1:05:40

What was that? You know you've seen him in

1:05:42

a Japanese far as doing something

1:05:44

horrible. But -- Yeah. -- but have

1:05:46

you seen him in the White Panther costume? Is

1:05:48

that White Panther costume? What is

1:05:50

that? Whatever. what Jake Paul

1:05:52

conceived of, I suppose, based on the card.

1:05:54

Okay. I'm going

1:05:55

true. I'm

1:05:56

saying false. Kevin wins

1:05:57

again. And we made it

1:05:59

just too I feel like I would

1:06:02

have seen it. I feel like I would have

1:06:04

really seen it. My only character

1:06:06

vlog. Yeah. Not

1:06:08

a vlog. Big Romney dresses Ted

1:06:10

Lasso and gave biscuits to Kirsten

1:06:12

Cinema. True. III say

1:06:14

true to that. I say true

1:06:16

to that. I'm

1:06:16

also going through to them. And

1:06:17

that is correct. Yeah. Yeah. Look at that. I watched the

1:06:19

big Robbie documentary. Oh, god.

1:06:24

That's tough. That's tough. Why did he? It's so salad

1:06:26

dressing. First of all, salad dressing. It

1:06:28

just looks like Mitt

1:06:30

Romney. Yeah. the

1:06:32

Ted Lasso part? Right. For

1:06:34

a mustache, I suppose. Right. Right. It's

1:06:36

like the most awkward proposal ever.

1:06:40

Kiley Jenner dressed as in her phrasing and Eskemo, which is a derogatory

1:06:43

term from an Inuit person. But when people got

1:06:45

mad, she changed the caption on Instagram

1:06:47

to read Snow Princess. A

1:06:51

hundred percent. She did

1:06:53

that shit. Yeah. That's right. She

1:06:55

did that shit. Ring the bell. Ring the

1:06:57

bell. Ring the bell. do

1:07:00

the Now that looks

1:07:02

like the white panther. Nice. Nice.

1:07:06

For real. She

1:07:08

just gone with snow princess from the top. It's a cool cool outfit. Right.

1:07:10

I worked to be honest. It's a cool outfit. You just need

1:07:12

to bring in the Jesus. The preparation.

1:07:14

And finally, it's time for

1:07:16

The political, blackface speed round, did these politicians

1:07:19

wear blackface governor Ralph Northam

1:07:21

of Virginia? Yes or

1:07:24

no. The crowd has

1:07:26

spoken. Yep. He did. Attorney

1:07:28

General Mark Herring of Virginia. Yes.

1:07:32

Yep. Alabama governor Kay Ivy.

1:07:36

Yeah. Yeah. They all did it. They all just

1:07:38

fucking wear blackface. Is that what we're They

1:07:40

did. A lot of people

1:07:42

wear blackface. Billy Crystal did blackface the Oscars like, what? Twenty twelve?

1:07:44

It's wild. Oh,

1:07:46

right. Yep.

1:07:50

That's all that's all singing. That's

1:07:52

right. Oh, yeah. It's really late.

1:07:54

Yeah. Surprisingly late. Thank

1:07:55

you so much to Lindsay

1:07:58

and Kevin. We all

1:07:59

sobered up in that thing.

1:08:02

Wow. Oh,

1:08:04

whoa. listen

1:08:06

to Lizzie's podcast, Lizzie Cooperman, in your hands, and

1:08:08

check out Kevin on the

1:08:09

Great North on Fox. It's a great

1:08:12

show. When we

1:08:14

come back, It's time for the

1:08:15

fear wheel. Don't go anywhere. This is

1:08:17

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do something about this. Honestly not a bad idea.

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Lisa McDonald's, they put the straw in the bag. It's

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like they're it's like to give you drugs. They don't want anybody to

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see, so they put the straw

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in the bag. straws

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in the bag. Come on. Give the money the next one. I tried

1:09:45

to reach I tried to reach Don't give me the money.

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I tried to reach for one

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at Starbucks yesterday. Stay tuned.

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Don't reach John. really? What

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are you doing? The most embarrassing thing is when you ask for a straw, if you go to a Starbucks

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in another place where they

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still have them, And you've asked me, like, they're

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It's

1:12:49

the spookiest time of the year. In this

1:12:52

fall, nobody's scared more shitless by the rise of antisemitism than God's chosen

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people. That's why this episode of Love Relief is sponsored by Spirit

1:12:56

Halloween. for

1:13:00

Jews.

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Sure. Anti Semides are feeling safe

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in numbers, but so will you

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on Blonde Wiggs color contacts and everything else that you might need to

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feel safe outside in Kanye's America.

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Jews are aggressively going to

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costumes like professional athlete, Country music star crocodile hunter.

1:13:16

Pope, have you ever met a Jewish

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pipe bidder? I certainly haven't. And that's

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why I'll be dressing up like

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one, this Halloween, and also indefinitely.

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Spirit Halloween for Jews, a costume is just a disguise

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you get drunk in.

1:13:34

Couple

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notes. Election

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Day is coming

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up fast, and you know what

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that means? T shirts and voting. Go to

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the crooked store, buy yourself something nice,

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It's awesome. It's a show. Everybody Listen of wherever you

1:14:31

get your podcast. And now for a

1:14:33

segment we call the fear wheel. Here's how it works. The wheel will spin or land on a true fear one of us has

1:14:35

had that we will then

1:14:39

divulge to you. And look, this show is often about

1:14:41

real and big and giant fears. We're talking about, you know, I'm not talking about

1:14:43

existential stuff. Let's

1:14:46

spin the wheel.

1:14:47

Very nervous.

1:14:54

It is landed

1:14:55

on. Dogs seem content, but

1:14:57

actually hate every second of

1:14:59

being alive and just don't

1:15:01

know better and can't communicate

1:15:04

this. That's my

1:15:06

fear. I look sometimes

1:15:08

at my little dog pendant and I think

1:15:10

like do you like like this life I

1:15:13

created for you. And like, but you

1:15:15

don't know better. What if

1:15:18

dogs hate every second? they're

1:15:22

not in pain or anything, but they like the experience being owned people. And they like being bored the time,

1:15:24

being afraid you're not gonna come

1:15:26

home. They don't understand what's going on.

1:15:31

And they just think that's all that life could ever have to offer. And I guess in some

1:15:33

sense, it's true. That is all their life can

1:15:35

have to offer. But

1:15:38

what

1:15:38

if they hate it? But I love pundit. And

1:15:39

I think pundit is okay for the most part,

1:15:42

but sometimes I am afraid that this is

1:15:44

your fear. Yeah. I'm

1:15:46

afraid that pundit the dog and

1:15:48

all dogs really don't

1:15:50

like the experience of being a pet. Here's what I'm concerned

1:15:53

about

1:15:56

is when a person goes to

1:15:58

adopt a dog. Mhmm. And they're weird.

1:15:59

Yep. If

1:16:01

the dog

1:16:04

is, like, Keep moving.

1:16:06

Keep moving. because sometimes

1:16:08

when I see weird

1:16:10

people

1:16:10

with animals, I'm like, does

1:16:15

that animal know? Did they drew

1:16:17

the short straw? That yeah.

1:16:19

Like

1:16:19

or they're just, like,

1:16:21

oh my are you kidding

1:16:24

me? Like, Of course, I appreciate the food

1:16:26

and shelter, but

1:16:26

this person stinks or -- Yeah.

1:16:28

-- you know, like,

1:16:30

not that stinking is weird.

1:16:33

But you know what

1:16:35

I'm saying? Yeah. Yeah.

1:16:37

Yeah. Let's spin it again. So

1:16:40

realistic that

1:16:41

hello

1:16:44

spinning. It has

1:16:46

landed

1:16:46

on communal dairy

1:16:50

based dips. You sphere is that. Ladies explained. That's

1:16:52

why. You

1:16:53

go to a Halloween

1:16:55

party. You're dipping into

1:16:57

the French onion dip. It's like sharing an

1:16:59

ice cream cone. Who year would share an

1:17:01

ice cream cone with

1:17:03

a stranger? That's what it

1:17:05

is to me.

1:17:06

Salsa guacamole. That's

1:17:08

fine. Salsa

1:17:09

guacamole is fine. Salsa is

1:17:11

water based. Nice.

1:17:12

Kevin,

1:17:15

we're surprised didn't obviously. It drips off the

1:17:18

chip. That's worse. You know,

1:17:20

you're ready a dripping

1:17:23

element. French

1:17:23

onion, dip. That's

1:17:25

the gorilla glue of

1:17:27

DNA. You're eating someone's

1:17:27

heritage. Right.

1:17:33

Man. Ranch dressing. It should not be shared to you.

1:17:34

I've been freaked out ever since once I went to Tesla and there was

1:17:36

like a froth of ranch

1:17:38

and it was labeled pudding.

1:17:41

There is

1:17:44

a murky

1:17:47

area. Lizzie. You're

1:17:49

mentioning ranch dressing.

1:17:52

You're mentioning sizzler. You're mentioning all sorts

1:17:54

of disgusting things. You're a problem with

1:17:55

my lifestyle. I'm

1:17:59

gonna You know, I have no problem

1:17:59

with you.

1:18:01

I'm gonna say

1:18:04

counterpoint. I love a Tesla. I

1:18:05

don't care what it's labeled.

1:18:07

I'll eat it. I love the scissors. When I

1:18:09

was a kid, it was so great because and I always was at the scissors and I was like, why are these freaks

1:18:12

ordering entrees? We

1:18:14

got a buffet here

1:18:16

people. who I never even

1:18:18

considered the main menu, and I didn't understand when people would. You know what I'm talking about? Like,

1:18:21

I think I

1:18:24

was like, at adults when I really realize that there's a

1:18:26

full menu associated with the sizzler when all the food you could ever

1:18:28

need is out

1:18:29

there in the middle of the room.

1:18:31

I have a sizzler

1:18:32

tip for

1:18:34

your cowboy. Hit me. Don't wear that outfit when you go there.

1:18:37

Because

1:18:37

when you

1:18:40

walk in,

1:18:42

Somebody sees your head

1:18:44

and they're like, well, hello, stranger.

1:18:46

And then when they -- They

1:18:49

scroll down. -- size up, it

1:18:51

not gonna fly at Sizzler. Well, that's at a

1:18:52

western Sizzler, but at an eastern

1:18:55

Sizzler. Yeah. Yeah. You might

1:18:57

be okay. You might be an eastern sizzler. I

1:18:59

don't know. I'm not saying I'm just wearing this to a

1:19:01

Ponderosa. Are there eastern sizzlers? No. I'm gonna

1:19:03

get I would Here

1:19:06

are some places where I would wear this outfit. Okay.

1:19:08

Sizzler. because here's the thing. People are

1:19:10

like, they're more afraid of you than you

1:19:12

are of them. You know what I mean?

1:19:14

in a sense. They're like sharks. Yeah. They don't

1:19:17

like gay cowboys. And I'd wear

1:19:19

it to a Bob's big

1:19:21

boy. Is

1:19:21

that even around still? Well, there's

1:19:23

an eastern Bob Stigler. Okay. Can

1:19:25

we get back to the dip

1:19:27

for a second? So

1:19:29

even though people are

1:19:32

dipping chips, that people aren't touching the

1:19:34

dip. Right. Yeah. It is rheumatoid. Tell you how many people I've seen go like this.

1:19:36

Oh,

1:19:36

you how many people a single like this

1:19:38

link their fold.

1:19:39

Did you just do that right now? Do you know

1:19:41

what I did? I I purposely out did

1:19:44

not wrap my lip around my finger

1:19:46

to do it because I find it.

1:19:48

So In

1:19:49

the dark at a Halloween party, you don't

1:19:51

know what's going on. Even with the lights on at a Halloween

1:19:53

-- Right. -- you don't know

1:19:55

what's going

1:19:56

on.

1:19:57

it out of pitch Also,

1:19:59

like,

1:19:59

I'm all gonna just wanna go back to, like,

1:20:02

French Union dipped to me like, are you going

1:20:04

to dad's

1:20:06

poker games in nineteen ninety three. Where

1:20:09

are you seeing French onion

1:20:11

dip then? I didn't see it

1:20:13

all around me. And also,

1:20:15

is it the kind where it comes

1:20:17

with the powder. Oh, it's

1:20:18

good stuff. I love it. And that was good for a chocolate soup mix. Oh, that's

1:20:20

right. That's right.

1:20:23

Yeah. In the sour you put

1:20:25

the French onion soup mix into the sour cream and then the

1:20:27

toughest challenge of all, given it time in the fridge because because it just it

1:20:29

needs that. You think it you think it

1:20:31

won't. You wanna try

1:20:34

it. You gotta give it time in the fridge because you

1:20:36

give it a couple hours. It's good.

1:20:38

That's

1:20:38

a good title for something.

1:20:41

Give it time in

1:20:43

the fridge. relationship advice. It's a relationship advice podcast. Give

1:20:45

it time in the Give it time in

1:20:47

the Give it time

1:20:49

in the first. With with the

1:20:51

taking ad. With taking ad. Let's

1:20:54

spin it again. Lizzie,

1:20:56

you're out of

1:20:58

the pond. I hope mine doesn't come up.

1:21:01

i have minded come up

1:21:03

It's landed

1:21:05

on Ed Sphere.

1:21:07

Ed Sphere. Guys, I

1:21:10

am terrified of my fear. I

1:21:12

got the email late, I think,

1:21:14

and I didn't respond. I was

1:21:17

telling you our here. I didn't make

1:21:19

it onto to the actual board. That's just

1:21:21

but here here it is. So I don't

1:21:23

believe in God or

1:21:25

ghosts or demons really but But

1:21:27

I am terrified of weedy

1:21:29

boards. Because essentially I

1:21:32

have, like, a don't

1:21:34

ask, don't tell policy with

1:21:36

demons. You don't care if they're

1:21:38

gay or not. You don't wanna know. To me. Like, if you use a Weiji board, you're asking

1:21:41

demons if

1:21:44

they exist. And

1:21:44

I just rather sort of

1:21:46

like let them be if they exist, which I don't believe.

1:21:48

But I'm not gonna

1:21:50

fucking touch

1:21:51

a Weiji board. I

1:21:54

don't know what, that really viscerally scares me. It's like

1:21:56

if you're alone in

1:21:57

your house and then you hear a noise and

1:21:59

you say

1:21:59

hello, like,

1:22:02

what are the good options here? And

1:22:05

you just

1:22:06

hear, hey,

1:22:08

girl. And

1:22:11

and that's like donuts, donuts, donuts, donuts. I don't need to

1:22:13

know. Kevin, what do you think? Have you had it experienced

1:22:15

with one and then that

1:22:17

was it? Or have you I don't I think

1:22:19

the only actual experience I had was,

1:22:21

like, other kids playing with one at

1:22:24

a sleepover when I was, like,

1:22:26

twelve. Use one. playing

1:22:27

with a demon.

1:22:28

Well, maybe they're playing with a

1:22:30

WeJ board and there was probably a demon involved. Wow. And out of the gate, this

1:22:35

was like don't but it's here somewhere. I don't

1:22:37

believe in it. I don't give it any

1:22:39

credence whatsoever. But No

1:22:42

credence. Also a good title.

1:22:45

Also a good title. No credence. No credence. What's so what? Also

1:22:47

a good rule for a jukebox. Sure. A terrible

1:22:50

rule for a jukebox.

1:22:53

I agree on the Weiji board thing. I also just think it's like a Weiji board is really about one

1:22:55

or two things. Either, demons

1:22:58

and ghosts are real. or

1:23:02

we've created a

1:23:04

generational pass down fun activity

1:23:07

-- Mhmm. -- where

1:23:10

older, sneakier leaner

1:23:10

kids, terrifies, sweet,

1:23:12

and naive kids while their

1:23:15

parents were upstairs. Right? Like,

1:23:17

that's the whole point. Or demons are real. Those are really the only

1:23:19

two options. That's a perfect summary. You're right. What a weird what a weird child oh,

1:23:21

should we do the thing

1:23:24

where a child

1:23:26

will remember and be afraid of what happened for

1:23:28

the rest of their lives? Or should we play the game monopoly?

1:23:30

It's kind of like that thing where

1:23:31

when you go into to

1:23:34

a bathroom and you say something

1:23:36

to in the dark at a mirror.

1:23:39

Yeah.

1:23:39

Yeah. Yeah. It's kinda like

1:23:40

that. That's all

1:23:41

I got. do you think it's funny that we do Of

1:23:44

course. We do and and Kevin's done it. And he

1:23:46

lived to tell. And here I am. And here he is.

1:23:48

I've lost so many friends to them.

1:23:51

Just a funny

1:23:51

thing that in, like, a target, there's a game

1:23:53

aisle and there's, like,

1:23:55

life per cheesy. hungry,

1:23:58

hungry hippos, summoning the

1:24:01

dead -- Yeah. --

1:24:03

and Jenga. Okay. Twister. I

1:24:05

always like it. I don't like you to like it. I think it's a good point. Let's spin it

1:24:08

again. I

1:24:11

feel

1:24:11

like mine.

1:24:14

isn't going

1:24:16

to

1:24:20

that mine. landed

1:24:22

on elevators?

1:24:23

Yes. It did land on elevators,

1:24:25

and I am scared of elevators, but

1:24:27

not nearly as scared as

1:24:31

I am of quick sand.

1:24:33

And I

1:24:35

was very scared

1:24:37

to get stuck in

1:24:40

quick sand as

1:24:42

a child, never happened, but I have

1:24:43

taken elevators.

1:24:51

Here's what happened. I was on tour, and

1:24:53

I

1:24:53

got

1:24:54

locked in a bathroom

1:24:58

in Sacramento. and was stuck in

1:25:00

there for thirty minutes. This is

1:25:02

this year. I've never been scared

1:25:05

of

1:25:07

elevators. And that traumatic.

1:25:09

I know we're at a comedy show.

1:25:11

I think we're at a comedy show. And she likes me. And I

1:25:14

I love this man.

1:25:18

but it was so traumatic.

1:25:20

And hi I

1:25:22

absolutely can barely

1:25:24

get into an

1:25:26

elevator now. Like

1:25:27

But you weren't stuck in an elevator. You

1:25:29

were stuck in a bathroom. But it's still a

1:25:31

the bathroom when up and

1:25:34

down.

1:25:34

No. Florida or I would Sounds like we took a shit

1:25:39

in an elevator. You

1:25:42

know?

1:25:42

I basically would these days. I'm so terrified. But, yeah,

1:25:48

I wasn't trapped in an elevator,

1:25:50

but I was trapped in a bathroom. And so now when

1:25:55

I'm on edge, I'm just saying it's

1:25:58

transferred to elevators. Did you have

1:25:59

any claustrophobia tendencies before the

1:26:02

bathrooms in it?

1:26:04

Well, I

1:26:05

remember years ago I was dating this girl, we were

1:26:07

in an elevator in DC. And

1:26:09

I always thought

1:26:12

it was so weird

1:26:14

that people were scared of elevators. I was like, what is the product? It's not like you're gonna die if elevator

1:26:20

stops. And we were in an elevator in

1:26:22

her building, and it

1:26:22

stopped. And I was like, oh, boy.

1:26:27

And, like, in five

1:26:29

second. I was a little

1:26:31

this? a of But

1:26:32

now

1:26:37

when I get in an elevator, I'm like, that needs to

1:26:39

be the fastest elevator. When

1:26:39

the door is cut,

1:26:41

it needs to be on the move.

1:26:43

Get into the next I

1:26:46

mean, I need to be on the ages

1:26:47

of people. Don't let other did you get No.

1:26:50

I would prefer for other

1:26:50

people are in because if I'm stuck, I

1:26:53

need them to knock me

1:26:54

out. Oh, but

1:26:56

you don't get like, the crowded like,

1:26:58

a crowded elevator doesn't make you nervous?

1:27:00

No. Because more people

1:27:03

could

1:27:03

make me unconscious if quicker. Like, I'm

1:27:05

it's a

1:27:06

real struggle. I thought you were

1:27:07

gonna say

1:27:08

more people so I

1:27:11

can share ranch

1:27:12

dressing. I agree to

1:27:14

dip. I share this fear. I I was stuck in an elevator at the

1:27:17

that the grove grove

1:27:20

parking lot, which is a glass

1:27:22

elevator. That's still stuck at ground

1:27:24

level. And where people like, oh

1:27:26

my gosh,

1:27:27

see how it is. of

1:27:29

fishbowl like everybody walking in and out of the parking deck and

1:27:31

there's the guy from the

1:27:36

hangover just standing there. I

1:27:38

was like, why won't he get out? And then, like, a few a few people

1:27:40

were, like, excited

1:27:43

to stop and point and

1:27:46

then I didn't go anywhere. You know

1:27:48

what that was? Like, why is it he getting out of

1:27:50

the elevator? And I was stuck and I was like,

1:27:53

quote, like get help help me. Yeah. What I

1:27:55

love about that is. And I but I here's the thing. It was a glass elevator, so you would think claustrophobia

1:27:57

would shouldn't enter into

1:27:59

it

1:27:59

because, like, I

1:28:03

can see everything, and I'm fine. I almost

1:28:05

had cardiac

1:28:06

arrest. I was really freaked

1:28:08

out. Listen.

1:28:09

I under stand. Here's my house.

1:28:11

I'm actually sweating right now. I maybe

1:28:13

have something that could help. Menopause. But Why

1:28:15

don't what I'm realizing is -- Fifty

1:28:17

one. -- if you're ever trapped, in the glass elevator on

1:28:19

the first floor of the grove. Don't

1:28:21

think that you're stuck in an

1:28:24

elevator. Think that the

1:28:25

grove has opened up

1:28:27

an Ed Helms zoo. Let's do

1:28:29

it one more time.

1:28:31

I feel ignored. It

1:28:38

is

1:28:39

be is

1:28:41

getting kinda stoned. What

1:28:43

does it

1:28:45

say? Oh, getting getting getting

1:28:48

kidney starts. Get

1:28:50

getting kidney so amazing. Getting

1:28:53

kinda stone while getting kidney stones is my fear.

1:28:55

I think it

1:28:59

speaks for itself. kidney stones, shooting a rock

1:29:02

out of your genitals. It was not a thing I thought about and I'd heard about them.

1:29:05

And then

1:29:08

one time, I saw Joey on

1:29:10

Friends, get him. And I thought, well, if that could happen to

1:29:12

him. And

1:29:15

I've terrified, and I've just sitting around waiting. And every once

1:29:18

in a while, a friend will be like, I had

1:29:20

a kidney stones

1:29:22

and other, hey, again here. I

1:29:24

have a friend who got kidney stones and then three weeks

1:29:26

later he got more kidney stones. And he kept trying to tell me about how we got kidney

1:29:28

stones. And I'm like, why do you

1:29:30

think I wanna hear that shit? and

1:29:33

I think he's okay. And but I don't I wouldn't know know parts of it. I am You

1:29:35

know what's funny

1:29:40

is I also have a fear of kidney

1:29:42

stones that I got from a sitcom, but it was Cramer on Seinfeld. That first.

1:29:44

Yeah. That first. But

1:29:46

I thought, dad, it's Cramer.

1:29:48

unit. But then Joey got him. Joey's

1:29:51

in every now. Joey. Joey's in every man. You know, I do. Kramer's in never got him. I

1:29:53

you know, and we were all

1:29:55

laughing at Kramer. And

1:29:58

then Joey, it was like, oh, this is And

1:30:01

that's the fear we

1:30:03

all. When we

1:30:05

come back, going on a

1:30:07

high note. And we're

1:30:09

back. Here it

1:30:11

is. The

1:30:13

high note. Hey, Lovett. This is Emma

1:30:15

from Waco, Texas. I am a sophomore, a political scientist, student Baylor

1:30:16

University, and my

1:30:17

high note for the

1:30:20

week is a

1:30:22

week. Beto came to Baylor's campus

1:30:24

on his college tour,

1:30:26

and tons of people showed

1:30:28

up.

1:30:28

It was a great turnout. Everyone

1:30:31

was super positive and super excited? And is

1:30:33

this really going to be optimistic for the midterm because

1:30:35

this is a super conservative Christian

1:30:37

campus in the middle

1:30:39

of the bible. So

1:30:42

I'm hopeful and you're a part of that. Thank you. Hi,

1:30:44

love it. My name is

1:30:46

Gavi. I currently live

1:30:47

in Denver, Colorado

1:30:50

but I'm originally from Pittsburgh, PA. So my

1:30:53

high note was obviously listening to

1:30:55

the live show from Pittsburgh I

1:30:58

don't

1:30:58

get to go home nearly as often as I would like

1:31:00

to. So having a little piece of home during

1:31:03

that commute was so lovely. My

1:31:05

parents still live in Pittsburgh, and my mom is a huge

1:31:08

positive America fan. I thought about getting

1:31:10

her a ticket to the live show.

1:31:12

But after the conversation about

1:31:14

eating ass a couple I decided

1:31:16

not to take that game ball,

1:31:18

but we love you so much, and we appreciate all that you do. Thanks. Bye.

1:31:21

Hi. It's

1:31:22

Megan from Syracuse. My high

1:31:24

note is that I got my husband tickets to your

1:31:26

Philadelphia show for his birthday. It's a week away, and we're so excited. We've been listening

1:31:29

to you since the keeping it sixteen hundred

1:31:31

days, and Crooked has never Vista

1:31:34

Central New York, even though we are currently

1:31:36

one of the most competitive house races

1:31:38

near 'twenty two, Frances Canal. So we

1:31:40

are so excited excited to celebrate his

1:31:43

birthday and to see our favorite Saturday podcast live. Thank you. love it. This

1:31:45

is Mike from

1:31:47

Syracuse, New York. And

1:31:50

my high note is that my wife

1:31:52

and I have handwritten five hundred postcards

1:31:54

so far to Georgia voters to get

1:31:56

out the vote. and what could be

1:31:59

the tipping point

1:31:59

in one of

1:32:03

the very few toss

1:32:05

up house districts in the country, New York twenty two. We're trying to

1:32:07

get a little more involved locally. And we've actually