0:00

Hey everybody

0:09

it's me Kathleen Madigan welcome to Madigan's

0:11

Pubcast. You grab yourself a drink, pull

0:13

up a bar stool, and let's talk

0:16

about what's been going on. Welcome,

0:26

welcome everybody. Episode

0:29

182, Stevie says hello and welcome.

0:31

Stevie made it back from

0:33

whatever was happening where they had

0:35

to cancel shows and she

0:38

was in Chicago with Billy Joel and did a

0:40

fine job. Well

0:43

when your whole band is over 70 years old, I'm sure

0:45

you wake up in the morning and call. If I have

0:48

comics on the road with me, we're like, hey who wants to

0:50

go breakfast? I'm sure their call

0:52

is, is everyone still alive? Is

0:54

anyone sick? Does anyone need to go

0:56

to the hospital? Does anybody need urgent

0:59

care? Everybody be down at

1:01

the front desk. Who wants

1:03

a coffee? Yeah, welcome.

1:05

So first I need to address my

1:07

medal. And

1:10

I came with a t-shirt. This is,

1:12

it's enormous. This is congratulating me from

1:14

Burt Kreischer and Tom Segura for doing

1:16

their 5k walk virtually. I

1:19

did it in Nashville. This

1:21

medal is so heavy. This is why I

1:23

know his wife. She's much smarter than

1:25

him. Leanne, yes, we all know

1:27

that. Burt's smart in his

1:29

own strange way. But Leanne's really keeping this

1:31

ship together. This is so heavy, I can't

1:33

imagine what it cost to mail. It's like,

1:35

it is like, you could kill, listen to

1:37

that. I mean you could kill someone with

1:39

this medal. And it's enormous. And

1:42

it's got a ribbon. I mean, this

1:44

costs money. It came with,

1:47

it said two bears, five Ks. You

1:50

fucking did it. Congrats and thank you for joining us in

1:52

the first ever two bears, five K.

1:55

We have dumb ideas sometimes and couldn't be happier. How many

1:57

of you joined us? Rock your shirts and finish your

1:59

medal. with pride until the

2:01

next one Bert and Tom and

2:03

I add Leanne to that because I'm sure she was

2:05

on the one that said Bert you have to get

2:07

them something for doing it and then he's like what

2:10

I was gonna do some of the Bert summer fun

2:13

tour things I wanted to do the one

2:15

on the Ozarks but I gotta work so the

2:17

fully loaded thing yeah it looks like a lot of fun

2:21

yeah maybe next year I think he does it for like

2:23

a month so congratulations to Bert and

2:25

Tom and to Leanne thank you for the medal

2:28

and Stevie has one on two welcome

2:32

I think Stevie could walk 5k no problem I

2:34

think everybody behind me could even jelly roll did

2:36

it if he could do it anybody can do

2:38

it yeah what are

2:41

we drinking face

2:43

plant IPA it's a lost

2:45

rhino brewing company this

2:47

was left by a termite in

2:50

West Virginia a case of it yes

2:52

and then I gave six of them to

2:55

Michael Palisak and save the

2:57

rest for paddles and my and me which

2:59

I brought home and

3:01

she they wouldn't let her bring it in to

3:04

to the casino because it's a casino so

3:06

she I told her we'll run it back

3:08

over the hotel and I'll grab

3:10

it I want this person I don't know her

3:12

name but I want you to know I did do

3:14

that I did go back I didn't just say

3:16

I would and then not do I go anywhere for

3:19

a case of beer but I didn't

3:21

even know it was a case of beer really I just

3:23

knew it was something that you know I figured it's alcohol

3:25

this kid it's either alcohol or a live animal if the

3:27

casino says you can't bring it so thank

3:30

you for that and

3:33

left latest potato chips which Michael

3:35

Michael eats anything yeah

3:37

a lot yeah and he doesn't gain

3:39

weight I don't get it um and

3:42

the gummy bears too he was like oh

3:44

are these um I'm like those are mine

3:46

you're gonna eat everything that gets brought I

3:48

truly don't care half time but uh he's

3:51

just a me it's amazing to watch I

3:54

don't know younger guys just eat whatever

3:57

all hours yeah yeah

4:00

It was amazing. Um, so that's what we're

4:02

drinking. What are we eating? Well, we're gonna

4:04

try some all us salt and vinegar potato

4:06

chips from Montana termite Kathy. She's somebody came

4:09

from Montana to DC. That's right Oh

4:14

Wow Wow Wow

4:20

Salt and they're very vinegary. They're

4:22

good. You just gotta be ready for

4:24

it. Wow Wow. That's yeah

4:28

How crazy is that to come to Montana the casino

4:30

is in West Virginia But it's only an hour ten

4:32

outside of DC and when you drive

4:34

the drive It's so pretty like 20 minutes

4:37

outside of DC boom then you're

4:39

in West Virginia And there's the Shenandoah River

4:41

that John Denver sings about there must have

4:44

been a thousand people floating it. I was

4:46

so jealous I'm like It

4:48

was hot. But if you're in the river, it doesn't matter.

4:50

I was very very jealous. So Thank

4:53

you for coming all the way from Montana Um,

4:55

I've only been to buildings And

4:58

maybe I've been somewhere else in Montana. I

5:00

don't really remember Callous

5:02

Bell. I've never been anywhere that look like

5:04

the Yellowstone thing. I know that I there

5:06

are actual cities in Montana Don't let that

5:09

show fool you Fisher's

5:11

popcorn Old Bay Caramel

5:13

popcorn now, I don't know about this a

5:16

level bay, but I don't know that you

5:18

should mix it with caramel I think this

5:20

is gonna be weird Oh Hard

5:24

no I'm

5:28

glad I'm tasting it This

5:31

is Marilyn termite Susie and Kenny, but

5:33

I Can't I

5:35

love Old Bay just put all day on the

5:38

popcorn. I put it on corn on the cob

5:41

People are on corn on the cob. Oh my god, and

5:43

Virginia diner Pete peanuts. These are

5:45

from termite John small

5:48

bash and extra crunchy I

5:52

don't know small batch peanut people

5:54

think of the weirdest word. Um Yeah

6:00

It's like a small batch peanut whatever that means They're

6:04

good. Yeah. Yeah, I'll

6:06

give those an a I don't know how hard our peanut is

6:11

Virginia diners famous never heard of it. I'll

6:13

take your word for it Yeah,

6:17

you guys can go those are they're very good

6:19

peanuts, but I don't know tastes like

6:21

a peanut I mean Now

6:24

see those I would dump Old Bay all over it and

6:26

then shake them up in a bowl We'll do

6:28

that after I'll try it later All

6:31

right, where am I going next so you guys know? We've

6:36

added a second show in Boston at the

6:38

Wilbur very exciting There's a

6:40

Friday show on a Saturday show so it's November 15th

6:42

and 16th And that means I

6:44

get to stay in Boston for three nights because I'll get

6:47

it on Thursday night. So I'm there Chowder

6:50

fest. Yeah Some of

6:52

my favorite bars and I just even sometimes

6:55

it's cool to be there in the summer But I'll

6:57

take November to less tourists. Yeah,

7:00

you can just pig around go wherever you want I

7:02

never tire of it I never tired of their old

7:04

cemeteries with all the famous people in them and I

7:07

just I like Boston I like I

7:09

love their accent because sometimes I feel like I

7:11

don't know If they're about to

7:14

punch me in the face like when I went

7:16

down to get coffee at the lady goes I like a shit.

7:18

I was like whoa. I'm not even

7:20

awake yet. I'm like, I think that was a

7:22

compliment Yeah, it was some sort of t-shirt Probably

7:25

my ray gun pew pew pew.

7:27

Everybody likes the cat shooting the laser gun It

7:29

makes people smile and you know what else makes

7:31

people three times on the flights this

7:33

past week. I have a little Bucky's Key

7:37

ring a stuffed Bucky. It's like

7:39

about two inches high and he

7:41

hangs off my carry-on Every

7:43

single person who sees it smiles the guy would check me

7:46

in at Delta was like I went to my first one

7:48

ever He has this big story about it Then people boarding

7:50

the plane because the bin was open saw it up there

7:53

and they were like, oh Bucky's Here I'm like,

7:55

that's right. Bucky's in the house. All right. It

7:57

just it's a wonderful thing. Um, so

7:59

bye Austin, I'll be coming November 15th and 16th. It's

8:02

a Friday, Saturday. And

8:05

that's not to win a murder. But more

8:07

importantly, this weekend, Portland, Maine. There's a few

8:10

tickets left, kind of up in

8:12

the balcony, but every good seat's a good seat in there.

8:14

I swear to God, I wouldn't just say that. July

8:17

19th, 2020, Bogata, Atlantic

8:19

City. July 26th,

8:21

San Antonio. July 27th,

8:23

Austin, Texas. I'll

8:26

say it like Ron, Austin. Yeah,

8:28

she got to do it like the Texas,

8:31

Ron White, Texas. August

8:33

2nd, Marietta, Ohio. August

8:35

3rd, Cincinnati, Ohio. I'm

8:37

coming for you, Skyline Chili, Cincinnati.

8:40

Watch out. They're so

8:42

proud of it. August

8:44

10th, Niagara Falls, Ontario. By

8:48

the way, congratulations to Edmonton for coming

8:50

down from the zero three, but. Yeah,

8:53

yeah. Where are you people getting your gambling advice?

8:56

Should've listened to this lady. Who

8:58

told you Florida was gonna win it all? This

9:00

lady did. I'm not even a professional sports person.

9:02

I'm just a lady who sits at a bar

9:04

and watches shit. I told you to bet on

9:06

Boston for basketball, winner.

9:10

I told you bet on Florida

9:12

Panthers, winner, whole shebang. And

9:15

then if you mix it with some golf

9:17

bets, boy, that really confuses, it confuses DraftKings.

9:19

They're like, you want what? I'm like, I

9:21

want Tom Kim in the top five and

9:23

the Panthers to win. What? You

9:25

can do it though. August

9:28

24th, Hampton Beach, New Hampshire. August

9:31

30th and 31st, the Venetian Labor Day weekend.

9:33

Yay, what are you guys doing on Labor

9:35

Day weekend? It'd be hot

9:37

out there, but who cares? Go to the pool. Or

9:41

like me, just stay inside the whole time and gamble. Some

9:45

guy, by the way, some casino, somewhere in

9:47

Asia. I gotta look it up more.

9:50

He won $4 million and he

9:52

instantly had a heart attack and died in

9:54

the casino. Well, I could see it

9:56

happening. You get too

9:59

overstimulated. I guess, September

10:02

6th, Derry Town. September 7th,

10:04

that's New York. Wilmington,

10:06

Delaware. September 13th, Columbus,

10:09

Ohio. That was

10:11

my second road week ever, Columbus, Ohio.

10:14

And I was in Philly the first week, and I can

10:16

say that some of the servers were a little aggressive and

10:18

mean, and I may have cried the entire way from Philly.

10:21

Bill Ingvold kept telling me, it'll

10:23

be fine. And I'm like, he's

10:26

like, there's just a few servers here who

10:29

are having a lot of problems in their life. I'm like,

10:31

I'm not even in the way. I am out of the way.

10:35

But the club turned out to be great there in Philly. It was

10:37

just when you don't know what you're doing, it's a little frightening. Second

10:40

road week ever, Columbus, Ohio. September

10:42

14th, Lexington, Kentucky. September

10:45

19th, Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. Can't wait to

10:47

see where I'm going to build that building. September

10:49

21st, Dallas, Texas. Yeah.

10:52

September 27th, Foxwoods Casino in

10:54

Connecticut. September

10:57

28th, New York City. Hello,

10:59

New York City people that always complain I don't

11:01

come in the city while I'm coming. Town

11:04

Hall. October 11th,

11:06

Troy, New York. October

11:08

12th, Burlington, Vermont. So

11:10

there you go. I love it when Lewis,

11:15

my little friend Lewis Black, who's older

11:17

than me, I won't say about how

11:19

many years. He sends me

11:21

people that have sold out Madison Square Garden

11:24

and he just writes, who is this? Today,

11:29

there's some youngster Sabrina who?

11:34

Sabrina Carpenter? Is that right? Yeah.

11:37

I guess she opened for Tay Tay. It's

11:40

blowing up on Twitter because the kids can't get

11:42

in and they've been in line. One of them

11:44

said they were, and she took a screenshot of

11:46

it. She's 41,550th in line. 41,000

11:50

people ahead of her. I

11:52

mean, I don't know. Ticketmaster

11:55

runs my stuff fine, but I'm also

11:58

not Sabrina. I mean, but. Lou will

12:00

just send this person who's selling out and

12:02

he's like, who is this? And then I

12:04

have to go, okay, Lou, well, here's the

12:06

thing, or this is a TikToker, or yeah.

12:11

I did not know though, to be fair, who is

12:13

Sabrina. No, I did not know.

12:15

She's one of

12:18

the children. She's one of the children and

12:20

the children want to go, but where are the children getting the money?

12:23

That's $300 for nosebleeds. That's

12:25

not counting fees. Sabrina Carpenter is 25. She's

12:28

25 years old. Oh my God. How

12:31

do you sustain that for the rest of

12:33

your life? She's dating

12:35

a 31 year old. She's dating

12:37

a 31 year old. Oh, avant-garde.

12:39

How avant-garde. He's Irish. A

12:42

real Irish person? He's in

12:44

the banshees of Inneshirn. He's in the

12:47

banshees of Inneshirn. Inneshirn being what? One

12:49

of the three Aran Islands. Okay.

12:53

So shout out to the West Virginia Club. It

12:55

was super fun. It was a casino gig. And

12:57

then there's a racetrack that's attached and

12:59

I realized I've never been here in summer. I've only

13:01

been there in the winter and I got

13:03

to go watch the first race. And

13:05

then I had to go to work, but then the

13:08

guy who's running it down there,

13:10

this guy Mark, he waited for me afterwards.

13:12

He goes, did you really want to be a jockey? I said,

13:14

yeah, I did. I said, I used to

13:16

go to Fairmont track with my dad when I was a

13:18

kid. I said, and there was one jockey. If you bet

13:20

on him, he always won. He goes, Dave Gall. He knew

13:22

it. I was like, oh my

13:24

God. Yes. And then my friends, I kept

13:27

going when I was 18, 19, 22, I went my whole life

13:29

to that racetrack

13:31

for something to do. Just go. And

13:33

he's like, well, if you come next time, I'll take

13:36

you to meet all the horses because it was over

13:38

by the time I was done. I heard the, you

13:40

know, the call, the post call. It

13:42

was crazy. I can't believe there's a casino and

13:44

a racetrack. It's just overwhelming.

13:46

And then they're like, I'm like, where do

13:48

we park backstage? We'll follow the stables, take

13:51

a ride at the next stables. It's

13:54

a fantastic little place, Hollywood Casino.

13:56

It's great. Then

13:59

I accidentally. I walked down to

14:01

the mall and I walked into

14:03

a liver walk, which I thought

14:06

was ironic and really suitable. I

14:08

wanted to buy t-shirts for all my siblings for Christmas, but

14:10

you couldn't buy them. You had to sign up to get

14:13

in the walk. I'm like, well, I can't come in. I

14:15

gotta go. Mama's gotta go

14:17

do stuff. But

14:19

it was, yeah, I'm a savior

14:21

liver. I posted a little video, but then I don't want

14:23

people to get mad. I know people get

14:25

liver problems that aren't drinkers. I'm just saying for the

14:27

drinkers that do have the problems and I know quite

14:29

a few of them, I

14:32

would have walked for all of us. I texted

14:34

all my cousins. I'm like walking for everybody, walking

14:37

for the Madigan's, the McCues, the

14:39

Debsters. We're the Lord. Doing

14:42

the work of the Lord. Accidentally walked probably

14:45

half mile with them. Yeah, I'm

14:47

just like, wow, it's crowded for eight in

14:49

the morning. I was trying to

14:51

beat the heat. Yeah, why don't we stop and have

14:53

a drink? Oh, maybe not in this walk. Nope,

14:56

nope, nope, nope, nope. We're

14:58

not gonna do that. All

15:00

right, the queen king news. Well, Tay

15:02

Tay, where's Tay Tay Skinny? Tay Tay

15:04

was in England, Buckingham Palace,

15:07

the guards played Shake It Up. Still

15:10

like the bagpipes better, but it was

15:12

cute. It was a good attempt. Her

15:15

show was a big smashing hit. Harry

15:17

was invited. I

15:20

mean, Prince William was invited Harry and

15:22

Meghan, nay nay. If you take Billy

15:24

Bob, William, you can't take, I'm

15:27

sure that'll drive her crazy. Billy Bob. And

15:31

the children, Charlotte and whatever the

15:33

other two are named. Tom

15:35

Cruise was there. He had

15:37

to go friendship with. And Tay Tay brought

15:40

Travis out on stage. Now I said last

15:42

week, I don't like the boyfriends getting on

15:44

stage. It's different. He just carried around. He

15:46

doesn't want to be a singer. He doesn't

15:48

want to share her limelight. And she got

15:50

all excited. So, you know. Are you drafting

15:53

him this year? Am I drafting

15:55

Travis? Probably not. No.

15:58

No. He's getting old. He's

16:00

amazing. You

16:03

take them I'll have little Jack take

16:05

them he likes the Chiefs he likes everybody involved No,

16:08

I'd rather have one of the 49er guys. I can't

16:10

think I'd rather have George kiddo. Yes

16:13

Anyway, that's two inside football talk for you people

16:15

who aren't following Travis

16:19

look very good in a tuxedo There

16:22

was a video of Jason Kelsey the brother and

16:24

he walked the whole length of the stadium with

16:26

a beer in his mouth Like his teeth were

16:28

holding on to the cup because he had friendship

16:30

bracelets and I'm like that's a drinker Yes, if

16:32

you can do that, they should have races like

16:34

that That would be super fun But you

16:36

have to jog and whoever has the most beer left in their

16:38

cup at the head is a winner And

16:40

you can't drink it you have to just hug So

16:45

to take a had a very successful

16:47

Stevie's fine jelly is good Snoop. I'm

16:49

not sure what he's up to Tanya

16:52

Pictures state fairs, whatever country people

16:54

do share super quiet and that's

16:56

never good and Dolly

16:58

prop I'm sure she hasn't taken a week off.

17:00

We just haven't heard what new things she's going

17:02

to be selling or whatever All

17:06

right, I have the cast iron skillet I'll show it to

17:08

you next week Oh

17:11

my god, it's so heavy. I don't

17:13

even I don't really understand the difference.

17:15

I'm gonna have to Google it Lodge

17:19

Lodge cat why do I need that?

17:21

What is it cook better? I don't

17:23

even cook. All right. We'll talk about

17:25

next week and

17:28

a congratulations by the way shout out to

17:30

my friend Lewis black inside out to broke

17:32

all the records and Lewis

17:35

gets little bonuses. So keep going to

17:37

see it he gets Lewis

17:41

a king I

17:45

have a lot I talked to him every day. I can

17:47

tell you exactly what he's doing this afternoon. Mm-hmm Where's

17:51

he eating that's the only thing he cares about but

17:54

it's the only thing he's cared about his whole life He's

17:56

a food guy. It's just amazing like a

17:59

bad lunch can wreck his day, but

18:01

a good roast beef sandwich can turn the whole ship around.

18:04

No matter how shitty things are, like at work, or if

18:06

there's problems, and I go, look what I found at the

18:08

deli loom. Oh, wow,

18:10

this whole thing changes. I'm

18:12

like, wow, I've never cared that

18:14

much about food. Another thing too,

18:16

I did a podcast with Pete

18:18

Holmes, and I love, love, love

18:20

Pete Holmes, and there's a

18:22

story on there about me almost killing my mom, 100%

18:25

true. She's still mad about

18:27

that. Like, it is not my fault. That

18:29

the golf course had bald tires on the cart, and it

18:31

had just rained, and you said go down the hill. So

18:33

I fucking did it. And boom, she

18:35

flew into the forest. Anyway, Pete's one of

18:38

the smartest people, and I don't mean that like in a,

18:40

are you smart, smart way, he

18:42

can just talk about anything, and

18:44

he's funny, and he's fun. It's

18:46

probably my favorite, well, I

18:48

had a lot of fun ones this year so far that I've

18:51

done, I'm gonna do a bunch more in the fall. Everybody's kind

18:53

of out on vacation now, but Pete, there's

18:55

links to it on all my stuff. If you wanna go

18:57

listen to that, if you got an hour drive or something.

19:00

That's termites. Well, termites, yeah,

19:03

what podcast do you like? Who do you like?

19:05

Who do you listen to? I'll see if I

19:07

can go do them. They usually

19:09

say yes. These are

19:11

just a few funny things. We've done King and Queen,

19:13

I got nothing else on anybody. Nope,

19:15

I liked all his hat. So last

19:17

week I talked about the power washer, me

19:21

using the wrong nozzle. This person, it's

19:23

a dude, Randy, wrote, I

19:26

hired a power washer who used the wrong nozzle

19:28

and power washed the face off one of my

19:30

lions in the drive. How close were

19:32

you to the lion, sir? You

19:39

got the wrong thing and you're, oh my God,

19:41

that is just hilarious. You probably drove home that

19:43

night and the headlights hit it and went fuck,

19:45

it doesn't have a face no more. This,

19:49

I think this was a lady, I don't

19:52

know, DJS. This person, I'm

19:54

here to get tips on how to get to the

19:56

middle and enjoy your life. Spent an afternoon with a

19:58

cousin's husband who was always talking to me. about how

20:00

many deals he'd make and for the amount

20:02

of money he was making and how good he

20:04

is at hustling. He took calls every five minutes.

20:06

He thinks he's impressing us. I think I'm sitting

20:08

here enjoying doing nothing and nobody's bothering me with

20:10

calls. I can tell you who I think is

20:12

more successful. That's right. Attend

20:15

my TED Talk, how to get to the middle

20:17

and enjoy it. That's right. I'm going

20:19

to come up with a better title so there's good merch, but that's

20:22

the working title right now. And

20:25

then one more thing because this is crazy. But

20:28

trying to have a baby for years, went to your show

20:30

in Reno last September for my birthday

20:32

I might add. And what do you

20:34

know, flash forward, I have a beautiful three week

20:36

old daughter. I'm sick as

20:39

fuck. So what can I say? Seemed like perfect

20:42

timing. Thank you for the opportunity to create my

20:44

daughter. Perhaps you're some sort

20:46

of fertility idol. No, probably not. But

20:49

at any rate, the show is amazing. I'm

20:52

enjoying watching her stand up while super sick

20:54

tonight. Be well, Emily. And

20:56

because I would have attached a photo

20:58

of said cute baby,

21:00

but I don't want you to think I'm some

21:02

Nigerian prince. Nobody opens

21:05

sketchy attachments. No, I would not

21:07

have. I did open the popes and

21:09

that was real. That was real. By

21:11

the way, the person who set

21:13

all that up for me, I did track

21:16

down to say thank you

21:18

and that was all

21:21

real. Like, yeah, it's just amazing.

21:24

People can be really good and social media isn't

21:26

all bad. That's what I'm saying. I've met a

21:29

ton of people from Twitter, Instagram.

21:31

I pull them out of the crowd sometimes and

21:33

just go come on back if they look normal.

21:36

And I love it because each wherever I

21:38

pick them from, they represent the

21:40

genre without knowing it. Like

21:43

the Facebook people, usually older talk

21:45

a lot. And that's okay.

21:47

That's okay. If I don't have to go

21:49

to where I can talk a lot. Instagram

21:51

kids, they just want a picture and they leave. They

21:53

don't even care about talking. Twitter people, so I'm very

21:56

smart and short to say and they're out. Yep,

21:58

that's it. They don't even want the picture. I'm

22:00

like, I thought you guys, I mean, I'm not gonna force

22:02

a picture of me in your phone, but

22:05

okay. It's just funny how they, and I

22:07

don't know about the TikTok people, I don't know that I've,

22:10

they're not like a- 10 seconds, and then

22:12

they scroll. Yeah, they scroll. They look at

22:14

me for 10 seconds, I go, bored, bored,

22:17

bored. Okay,

22:21

so update

22:23

the children. The

22:26

children. Oh no. Oh

22:29

no. I wish I

22:31

could have a meeting with these people. Like

22:33

there's very few times in life where I go, no, I'll

22:35

be in charge of that meeting. Because normally I don't want

22:37

to be in charge of anything. Like I just, I'll attend

22:40

the meeting, but I don't want to, I'm not going to

22:42

talk at the meeting. I don't want

22:44

to, the climate protestor children, they,

22:47

two incidents. This one, again,

22:50

security, get a load of this

22:52

one. They target UK,

22:56

United Kingdom airfield hosting Taylor

22:58

Swift's private jet. Two

23:00

environmental activists spray painted several

23:02

jets. I mean, Christ,

23:04

it costs, you know, eight

23:06

grand to get your car repainted. I mean, I don't know,

23:09

is that right? I only have my car repainted one and

23:11

insurance had to pay for it because of accidents. I don't

23:13

know. But imagine having to repaint a

23:15

jet. I mean, I can't even, they,

23:18

it was parked at Stan said airport

23:20

in Sussex, England, in Essex,

23:22

sorry, Essex, England on Thursday, just hours

23:25

after her jet arrived. They

23:27

don't know that hers got hit. Do

23:29

you want to know how much? How much

23:31

to repaint a jet? I'm

23:34

going to say, I'm going to say $125,000. It's

23:38

70 to 180 thousand. See

23:41

look at me, 70 to 180 thousand. Standard.

23:44

Standard. Takes 48 weeks. 48 weeks.

23:48

Yeah. Well, this airfield, so

23:51

these were the just stop oil people. Okay.

23:54

I don't say what they said. I'm not, because I

23:56

don't agree with the tactics. I agree with some of

23:58

their causes. I agree with that. They're right. I

24:01

mean, look, the weather is, I think it's too

24:03

late. Now, remember, I flunk

24:05

science. Whenever you hear things like

24:07

that, just go, oh, right, that lady flunk science. Because

24:15

it doesn't mean it's true. I'm

24:17

just a lady with a beer at

24:20

the bar saying what I think. I

24:22

don't know if it's, there's dams collapsing

24:24

in Minnesota, the flooding in Iowa, the

24:27

heat that's, I know everybody goes, oh,

24:29

it's been hot before. Not like in

24:31

June like this. This is like, at least for

24:33

the Midwest, this should be, or even the South,

24:35

this should be more into July, August. 90,

24:38

yeah. Yeah, 90, not 106. Like

24:41

what the actual, I don't

24:44

know, maybe it's not too late. But anyway, so

24:46

I kind of, you know, I understand, but okay,

24:50

this is my thing. I'm not going to

24:52

get into it. But if we're going to stop oil, what are we going to use?

24:56

Electric? And there's issues with

24:58

that. And

25:00

then even if we all do it, is China going to do it? No.

25:04

Is India going to do it? No. So

25:06

they got the most people. I

25:08

don't know. It's their tactics. I, I

25:12

try to do my part, especially when my

25:14

friend Amy comes and redoes my entire house

25:16

against my will. And I

25:19

have to remind her, Amy, I live somewhere else,

25:21

250 nights a year on the

25:23

road in hotels. If you're pissed at me,

25:25

if you don't like my setup, you should actually go

25:28

to a Marriott because that's where I stay with my

25:30

gay grandparents. Those two men that are

25:32

by the elevator and I love

25:34

a Marriott. I love a courtyard. I love a

25:36

JW. I love the entire chain. You

25:40

know, talk to them about plastic. Or

25:42

what, what are their dryers set on? I

25:46

support a lot of aluminum. Look at all the

25:48

beer I drink out of aluminum cans. That's probably

25:50

bad too. But I recycle it, which

25:53

is hard here. Because in

25:55

Nashville where I'm at, out in the woods, kind

25:57

of. You

26:00

know, the lady's like, I can bring you second

26:02

trash can, but it's all gonna go same place.

26:05

I was like, oh, you don't have recycling? Not

26:07

with us, honey, you'd have to take it to

26:09

a special facility. I'm like, okay. I

26:12

mean, you know, there's only so much you

26:14

can do. But anyway, yeah, I try, whatever.

26:17

Amy teaches me little things that I'll go,

26:21

okay, I'll do that and I won't do that. I'm

26:23

not washing dishes in dirty dishwater. Especially

26:25

when I have a goddamn dishwasher, Amy. How

26:30

many times do you think I use that in a month? Twice?

26:34

I don't know how to use a dishwasher, not

26:36

really. When it beeps and shit,

26:38

I just let it go. I don't know. Anyway,

26:42

they took fire extinguishers filled with

26:44

orange paint. They

26:47

cut through a fence with fence cutters

26:49

and got onto the private airfield. Now,

26:53

in my life, I've flown a private

26:55

jet maybe three times, Ron,

26:58

one with Ron, no, twice

27:00

with Ron, maybe five times. Leno

27:03

gave me a ride home one time from Vegas, which

27:05

was very nice. And

27:07

then I have friends

27:09

that have one. Well, they rent one,

27:11

but whatever. Now, every time I've gone

27:13

there, I assume this

27:15

is super security. I'm guessing because

27:18

these people, they're

27:20

rich and famous and whatever. You

27:22

could have told me at a private airport,

27:25

these kids, well,

27:27

they're very young, one guy's not. One

27:29

guy looks like a Philly pop fort.

27:31

Maybe that's their dad. Cut

27:34

through with wire cutters and went out onto

27:36

a tarmac. A

27:39

tarmac with fire extinguishers

27:41

filled with paint. Again,

27:43

where is security? I mean, I'm not

27:45

blaming the people that did that. That's

27:48

just vandalism, but they

27:51

don't know if hers was hit.

27:53

And then, yeah, they cut into the fence.

27:56

I mean, they're mad.

28:00

We're living in two worlds and it's true one where

28:02

billionaires live in luxury and able to fly private jazz

28:04

Well the other well unlivable conditions

28:07

are being imposed on countless millions billionaires

28:09

are not untouchable climate breakdown affects everything

28:11

what? Yeah, yeah, but

28:14

this isn't how to do it. This is why

28:16

we need to have a meeting and it's

28:18

called using humor to get your way Ted

28:22

talk number two Stop

28:24

being vandals And then

28:26

so you guys know I like golf. I

28:28

had the golf tournament on Sunday

28:31

and on the 18th hole and Scotty

28:33

Sheffler was gonna win again, but he had a

28:35

putt left These children.

28:38

It's a mob of climate protesters storm the

28:40

18th green at the Travelers

28:42

tournament this best weekend. So everybody's standing there. Scotty's

28:45

got one putt to win it Then we're all

28:47

done where I wrapped up and these kids I

28:49

watched it live Because I was like

28:51

whoa what and then they started spray painting the green

28:54

for everybody to I mean, I'm sure that's fixable You

28:57

wash it off but this

29:00

group um was No

29:04

golf on a dead planet I Forget

29:07

what group there. Oh there. Oh There

29:10

just stop oil as well. Yep. Oh

29:13

my gosh but you

29:15

know and and one of the

29:17

golfers got tackled by accident That

29:20

I will say the police security reacted super

29:22

fast, but how did these kids get

29:24

in here with goddamn spray can't I can't I mean I?

29:27

Don't know I know what the if you I've only

29:30

been to the practice rounds at the Masters You can

29:32

get tickets on stuff up for like 400 bucks for

29:34

Monday If you ever want to go you can do

29:36

that you can enter the lottery my dad won people

29:38

do actually win that um But

29:41

the masters like you have to go through

29:43

security metal detectors no phones What

29:46

is got is going on? I mean Backpacks

29:49

filled with shit. I don't know It's

29:52

dangerous. What if one of these kids wanted to do

29:54

something crazier? It's

29:59

just the children, but the update on

30:02

that is the

30:04

update, oh the update on Stonehenge.

30:07

Update! Sorry, update! So

30:11

the children that spray painted Stonehenge,

30:15

they were able, we removed the powder from

30:17

the stones and thankfully there appears to be

30:19

no visible damage. We move quickly as the

30:21

powder could harm the rare lichens.

30:24

I don't know. Lichens?

30:27

And if the powder, if

30:29

the powder combined with water it could leave, I don't

30:34

know, never heard of this word. A

30:36

lichen. Well I like it, I

30:38

like a lichen. It could

30:41

leave difficult to remove the streaks. So it could

30:43

have been permanent. I mean you

30:47

can't, all they're doing is making people not like

30:49

them. And guess who's gonna come to your

30:51

party if nobody likes you? Nobody. That's

30:53

right. I don't

30:55

know. I see the weather and I'm just like I don't

30:57

know if it's, can

31:00

we get a handle on this? Or is it

31:02

just the weather? I don't know. Then I sit

31:04

at the bar with my friend Mark who only

31:06

listens to Tucker Carlson. Sometimes

31:09

we sit down and I go Mark I can't hear from Tucker

31:11

today. Tomorrow, I'll listen

31:13

tomorrow. Right now I want to enjoy a

31:15

pitcher of beer and chicken wings and tell

31:17

me about your

31:19

golf. But he repeats

31:24

all the time that this is just weather. Maybe.

31:30

Maybe we didn't keep records 500 years ago.

31:33

But I don't know. It just

31:35

seems to be getting hotter and hotter and

31:37

hotter. And I think Minnesota is

31:39

gonna be the new. I have friends

31:41

that have a cabin up there and they sent me the temperature last week.

31:44

It was 69. It was 96 here. Update! Queen, the band. They've

31:52

sold their catalog. Guess

31:55

how much? Lots. Very

31:57

much lots. Very much lots. Lots

31:59

and lots. Guess, don't

32:01

Google it. $80 million. 1.27 billion.

32:04

Billion. Billion. Billion.

32:07

Yep. It's

32:09

the biggest acquisition of its kind. Earlier

32:12

this year Sony paid $600 million for 50% of

32:15

Michael Jackson's publishing and recorded master's catalog. Company

32:18

also purchased Bruce

32:20

Rixi, Paul Simon. Yeah.

32:25

And then it gets into the details which are totally

32:28

boring. Yeah. 1.27 billion. And

32:31

then you got to divide that between four people, I

32:33

suppose. Well Freddie, whoever wrote

32:35

it probably gets more. One

32:41

more update. So

32:44

I'm keeping an eye on the Iceland volcano doing the

32:46

work of the Lord for all the termites who have

32:48

jobs and are too busy for all this. We

32:51

now have to rush to block the

32:54

lava from engulfing a power plant.

32:57

Yeah. It's

33:02

Grindevik, the town where I still want to

33:04

know where are all, where did all the

33:06

people go? Where are they? Do

33:08

we have any termites that are Icelandic? The

33:13

volcanic eruption in the Icelandic town of

33:15

Grindevik is ongoing with lava posing a

33:18

threat to nearby infrastructure. Now urgent measures

33:20

must be taken to prevent the lava

33:22

from reaching the Svaasghe power plant.

33:28

The latest eruption which began in May is the fifth in

33:30

the area since December 2023. It's been

33:32

marked by vigorous lava flows and some

33:34

of the highest recorded and recent activity covering

33:37

main roads and threatening the infrastructure of Grindevik

33:39

and surrounding areas. If

33:41

I trust anybody, it's anybody

33:44

in these countries, whether it's Norway,

33:47

Sweden, Finland, Iceland

33:49

to know what to do. They're very

33:51

organized. I think they could figure it out.

33:53

They're kind of used to it. But

33:57

on the other hand, I don't know where

33:59

it goes. Holy

34:01

shit, they found it. This

34:04

is crazy. I never even heard

34:06

of this. Magnet fishing. Yeah,

34:09

I don't understand that. You get a giant

34:11

magnet on a rope, and then you're

34:14

hoping to find stuff in the lake or the creek

34:16

or whatever. Money

34:18

doesn't grow on trees, but for one New York couple,

34:21

it emerges from the filthy gunk at the bottom

34:23

of a city pond. James and

34:25

Barbie... Barbie? Yeah,

34:27

her name's Barbie. ...were magnet

34:30

fishing, using a cable to toss

34:32

a powerful magnet into a body of water when

34:34

they hooked something big. They yanked up

34:36

their hull and discovered their magnet had

34:39

grabbed onto a safe with bundles

34:42

of $100 bills inside. Inside.

34:44

The soggy, but intact bills were a $100,000

34:47

fortune for the couple. Yeah,

34:50

we pulled it out. We were seeing stacks of

34:52

hundreds, and we freaked out. They had found

34:54

other old safes, but they were

34:56

typically empty or contained plastic bags, and disintegrated

34:59

remains of money. They couldn't believe

35:01

it. They were freaked out. We

35:04

call it poor man's treasure hunting. Yeah, I

35:06

would not think the money would last. I think the

35:09

water would seep in somehow. Yeah. They

35:12

also found World War II grenades, an

35:15

intact motorcycle, foreign coins, and jewelry.

35:17

That's awesome. Yeah. Cover them.

35:20

If you'd like to watch them, they have

35:22

a YouTube channel called Let's Get Magnetic. Pow!

35:25

Oh my gosh. Of course

35:27

they do. Oh, God. Last month,

35:29

a magnet fisher in New Orleans found a

35:31

human skull that had been padlocked to an exercise

35:33

dumbbell. There you go.

35:36

Yeah, maybe I don't want to do that. I don't want to. No,

35:39

I'm good. Never thought about

35:41

pulling up bad shit. No. This

35:45

is a great holy shit they found. So

35:48

these people had a pet donkey, and it disappeared

35:50

five years ago. Their pet. And

35:53

he's been spotted living with a herd of wild owls. Stop it.

35:56

He's out living his best life. Oh,

35:58

wonderful. Yep. When

36:01

Diesel the donkey ran away on a hike

36:03

near his home outside Sacramento five years ago,

36:05

the owners assumed the worst. He's not aggressive,

36:07

he's a lover, but

36:10

right now he's scared. This was days after

36:12

his escape. Years passed without a sign

36:14

of life from Diesel until earlier this year when

36:16

a hunter spotted them and filmed a herd of

36:18

at least a dozen elk in

36:20

the Northern California wilderness. Among them, strangely,

36:22

was a wild burrow. Drewree

36:25

is positive that the donkey in the

36:27

hunter's video is her Diesel. We

36:29

finally saw him. Finally, we know he's

36:31

living his best life. He's happy, he's healthy, and it was

36:34

just a relief. They adopted Diesel from the

36:36

Bureau of Land Management and he had lived on

36:38

in their ranch for the first few

36:40

years of his life alongside chickens, a llama, and

36:42

a miniature donkey. My friend Andrea has a miniature

36:44

donkey, it's adorable. It's adorable

36:46

till it has diarrhea in the garage. And then,

36:49

yeah, not so much. On

36:53

a fateful hike in 2019, Diesel noticed something that

36:55

spooked him and took off running. Dragging

36:57

Drewree's husband, Dave, through the bushes behind him, she

37:00

told him for some time. For weeks they searched

37:02

for him, through the rugged terrain, though they

37:04

spotted him once on a trail cam and found some

37:06

tracks that may have matched his, they never found him.

37:11

And then this guy took a video. She said, I

37:13

can't get over it, I'm amazed. The donkey looks so

37:15

happy and healthy. That's a great little

37:17

story. Yeah, he's out there just having the

37:19

life he was supposed to have. Yeah,

37:21

they're not gonna go get him. She said,

37:23

nope, you know, let him go. They're not

37:26

gonna try and catch him or bring him back. Donkeys

37:28

in the wild can usually find plenty to eat.

37:30

And the donkey appears to be thriving in the

37:32

wilderness with friends by his side. He's truly a

37:34

wild burrow now. Compared to

37:37

the not so feral cats that

37:39

let another cat come in this house today. What?

37:43

Yeah. What happened? I opened the

37:45

door to let in a Charpo

37:48

and Cotto wanted in for a while. They like to come

37:50

in for a little bit, as long as

37:52

I don't shut the door. Baby

37:55

cat'll say in 24 sevens, she don't care. These are not

37:57

feral cats. No, not

37:59

feral. No, not anymore. And then

38:01

I went in to go put in my contacts

38:03

and came back out. There's an orange and white

38:06

cat Yep, just sitting there

38:09

Eating treats out of the Bigfoot dish. I'm

38:11

like, wow they do nothing I think

38:14

it's because they were outside so long when they

38:16

were little they're just used to everything There's

38:18

a raccoon that comes every day It

38:20

eats it looks and then it gets a drink out of

38:22

the water fountain Even if I put the food away it

38:25

comes for a drink which is fine And

38:27

I don't want them to get in fights, but

38:29

they could do a little better guarding just say

38:31

maybe not today right Move

38:35

it on to news people Moving

38:38

on to news Mmm,

38:42

I could not tell if it was feral or not the orange

38:45

and white one. I think it might have been a pet It

38:48

was a little dirty though The white part was a

38:50

little dirty which makes me think it's been in

38:52

the woods a lot And then I had to chase one of

38:55

these jackasses in the woods and I got chiggers everywhere If you've

38:57

ever had a chigger bite, they'd never

38:59

go away and I found a medicine

39:01

though I'm gonna do a video. It's called chigurex It

39:04

worked great Chigurex

39:07

Yep There it's way

39:09

worse than a tick bite Do

39:12

I read no I took it to the pharmacist I go

39:14

use this work and he looked at

39:16

me he goes I'd get the Hydrocordizone also.

39:19

I'm like, oh judgey judgey judgey Just

39:21

read what's on it. Does it work? They

39:25

scar too it takes forever for a chigger bite to

39:27

go away Chigger

39:30

and the thing is you can't really see them like

39:33

a tick. I don't know where

39:35

I was I had it in the woods Oh

39:37

with my mom Walking the

39:39

dog and then I had a tick on it came on

39:41

the side of my ear. Damn. There's

39:43

still a huge bump Yeah,

39:45

it's nasty anyway from research

39:48

assistant Bob Reed unpaid

39:50

intern Hooters

39:52

is closing 300

39:55

restaurants. No, what

39:57

will my friend Ron White do for lunch? I

40:03

am not a Hooters wing person.

40:06

No, I like the traditional buffalo wings. I don't

40:08

like the way there's like mini

40:10

fried chicken wings. No,

40:13

I'm not in love with it. The rest, that's fine

40:15

if you want to go in for a salad. Fine,

40:17

but I

40:19

don't really choose Hooters. For

40:21

beers, fine. But they've

40:25

made the difficult decision to close a select

40:27

number of underperforming stores. One is by Bob's

40:29

house. The company did not release illicit affected

40:31

locations or a specific number. Well, you know what? We

40:34

could do that right here. Right. Doing the work of

40:36

the Lord. Terrence, do you have one that closed by

40:38

you? Let me know where it's at and

40:40

I'm gonna out these people for where they're closing them.

40:42

They say the

40:44

brand remains highly resilient and relevant.

40:49

There's one about two miles from where I'm sitting

40:51

and it's not usually that crowded.

40:54

No. Waffle

40:56

House is booming, but Waffle

40:58

House is smart. Only have

41:01

four booths. We look packed.

41:03

Accounting for the closures.

41:07

Hooters has about 300 global locations and a 12% declines

41:09

in 2018. Menu

41:12

prices, blah blah blah. Doesn't matter.

41:15

There's more Miller Ale houses and

41:17

more Dave and Busters. They're building

41:19

new ones. I like a

41:22

Miller's Ale house on the road. Yep. They have

41:24

a great chicken sandwich. FYI. They even

41:26

Busters. I don't even know that I've ever

41:28

eaten there. I've played Crazy Taxi. I love

41:30

that game. And drank

41:33

and it's a video game. Where

41:35

you drive a taxi and you pick people up. You get

41:37

to pick what your driver is and then you can pick

41:39

people up or not. If they look like drug dealers because

41:41

some of them could shoot you. Right.

41:44

Exactly. News. Little

41:46

Catholic news. Love it. This is why he's

41:48

my favorite Pope. Pope Francis

41:50

said priests should give short sermon so people

41:52

don't fall asleep. Oh yeah. That's

41:55

right. Keep it tight. Yeah.

41:58

I mean I know. for everybody who's

42:00

gonna say something. I know the Catholic Church has

42:02

its issues. We just acknowledge all that. I'm just

42:04

saying these are the things, this is

42:07

progress. Let's tighten it up. Open

42:10

mic night, you get five minutes. He's giving you

42:12

eight. He's being generous. He gave you three more

42:14

than an open mic spot and you

42:16

go over eight. I think there should be a red light and

42:18

then we turn off your mic. Yep. Frank

42:21

gives you the light. He

42:24

said this Wednesday at the Vatican. Sometimes priests talk

42:26

a lot and you no longer understand what they

42:28

are saying. The homily, that's a speech

42:30

of if you're not Catholic, you read

42:32

something out of the Bible and then they give a speech

42:34

on that little tiny speech. But it used to shit. I

42:37

mean, some of the people, when I was a kid would

42:39

go on for like an hour. And

42:42

then my dad would be like, we're fine at a

42:44

different church. We're not doing that again. And then we

42:46

would drive an extra 20 minutes to a different church.

42:48

I'm like, was that really a time saver, dad? We

42:50

just drove 20 minutes one way. We're gonna drive 20

42:52

minutes back. We could have just walked down. We can

42:55

get the carnal game on. The homily, a message

42:57

delivered by the Catholic priests during the church service.

43:00

It must be short, an image, a thought,

43:02

a feeling. Ooh. That's

43:06

hard. I never

43:08

think about that when I'm doing

43:10

my act. Is this a thought or a feel, an

43:12

image? That's hard. It

43:16

should not last more than eight minutes because after that the

43:18

attention is lost and people fall asleep and they are right.

43:21

It's at the Pope, age 87, Selma, Vam, Vam,

43:23

Vam. He's smiling while he

43:25

says it too. It's

43:28

giving after reading from the Bible and

43:30

then used to reinforce religious teachings. The Pope's words echo

43:32

the recommendations made by Archbishop so-and-so in 2010

43:34

in his book, The

43:37

Word of God, which prelates to

43:40

keep their homilies to eight minutes or

43:42

shorter and to avoid improv from the

43:44

pulpit. Oh. Why can't you do

43:46

a little improv if you thought of something, say

43:49

it. Exactly. What's that about? Yeah, that's made it

43:51

interesting. Yeah. I don't ever feel

43:53

like they wrote it. I

43:55

feel like it's all improv. Maybe they're that good at

43:57

it. It's also.

44:00

in line with the shrinking American tension span,

44:02

which is causing leaders and other professions to

44:04

issue advisories on how long that things should

44:06

go on. Per CBS News, the

44:08

Associated Press has advised writers to keep most

44:10

articles under 500 words. The

44:12

average shot in a

44:14

movie now is under five seconds. No,

44:18

but I noticed that because sometimes it gets too jumpy

44:20

for me in a movie where I'm like, slow the

44:22

fuck down. Why do we have to

44:24

get a shot of his nostrils when we were

44:26

on his whole body and he was talking? I

44:29

don't like it, but I don't know. I'm not one

44:31

of the five second people. I'm not one of the

44:33

children. You're not a TikTok. I'm not. Well,

44:36

I'm going to get my TikTok. I'm going to get my TikTok

44:38

in shape. Yeah, it's been neglected

44:40

because I've just been busy, but I'm

44:43

going to get it rolling. Rocking.

44:46

Rocking. Well, I have all my specials. I don't

44:48

know. There's like eight that could

44:50

be chopped up for jokes and then, you

44:53

know, I haven't done it, but I do

44:55

my own Twitter for the most. Sometimes if

44:57

there's a graphic, I didn't design that, but

44:59

I'm doing my own Twitter, my own Instagram,

45:02

the facial book I have a little help with because I don't,

45:05

it's overwhelming to me. You

45:08

hate Facebook? Well, I don't love it, but I do

45:10

look at it. I look at the email

45:12

from this, the podcast on the inbox

45:15

and all that. Some of them are very funny.

45:20

Not all of them I can't. I don't have time, but I look at a

45:22

lot. News.

45:26

Flip phones are surging. They're

45:29

on the comeback as

45:31

folks seek a connection without distraction.

45:35

Now a long time ago, a man

45:38

who I may or may not be related

45:40

to, I won't

45:42

say who, who knew he

45:44

was such a dirty little bird, told

45:46

me that a lot of his guy friends

45:48

had flip phones in case they wanted to

45:50

like have an affair. Because

45:53

then they talk on that phone and there's no

45:55

record of it on their real phone and they

45:57

keep that phone in the glove compartment of the

45:59

car. You know, I

46:02

know I know people are busy

46:04

busy dirty birds busy bitty bit

46:06

But anyway flip phones are

46:08

having a moment. It's true People

46:10

are snatching up the bit my friend Chuck always has

46:12

a flip phone. He always has well He

46:15

likes it because it is true when you

46:17

close the phone the conversations on off I

46:20

mean for sure off how many times

46:22

I can tell you I think I've turned

46:24

off the phone And

46:26

I haven't and then I

46:28

thank God I haven't said anything shitty about somebody

46:30

but if I had they'd have heard it, right

46:34

my parents No idea how

46:36

to turn off a phone. It's a conversation never

46:38

hangs up It's just I that's why they're all

46:40

they're like why are our chargers aren't working. No,

46:42

it's that your phones never off It couldn't keep

46:45

up if we had 17 of

46:47

the most brand new chargers on the planet So

46:49

when you shut the flip phone, you know,

46:51

it's over right? It's a guarantee Versus

46:54

that It's

46:56

true people are snatching up the basic clam shell

46:59

throwbacks of the early 2000s faster Oh,

47:01

I think I still have to maybe I'll put them on the

47:04

on the eBay That a bag

47:07

of discounted Reese's didn't have that's not

47:09

funny. The reasons are simple We're burned

47:11

out on smart phones social media and

47:13

passively allowing our lives to melt away

47:16

mindlessly stuck on screens I

47:20

Learn a lot on social media. Yeah, I

47:22

get a lot of information that actually is

47:24

in my life. Yes that matters

47:28

Unless a lot of sports stuff speaking in which I forgot

47:30

to say if you'll notice Fred bird The

47:34

cardinal mascot is sneaking out because

47:36

we're in second place albeit our divisions

47:39

terrible second the

47:42

Brewers and My

47:44

friend Dax is a cubbies person and they have gone

47:46

from second to last Now that's

47:48

gonna change all summer and I am NOT thinking the

47:50

Cardinals are gonna be spectacular. I don't like that I

47:53

don't like the owner. I don't like the manager. I

47:55

think it's all bullshit not

47:57

a happy fan But because the players

47:59

themselves I've done a good job, I'm moving for a burto.

48:02

Anyway, according

48:05

to late statistics, the average person spends five

48:07

hours a day on their smartphone. I

48:10

don't think so. Which

48:12

equals six days a month and a

48:14

mind boggling 12 years over a lifetime.

48:20

Yeah, but you know, like in the

48:22

morning, I get up and do the phone. Why is that

48:24

any different than the newspaper that I used to read? Like

48:27

on the road. It's more environmentally friendly.

48:30

You write? Yeah. And we're not

48:32

wasting all that paper. No, we're gonna lower it. So in the row, on the

48:34

row back in the day, I would go down

48:36

and get the local paper, say the

48:38

Omaha World Herald and USA Today and

48:41

get my coffee and I would read, why is that any

48:43

different than me reading on the phone right now? I don't

48:45

think that, we're still just reading news. I

48:48

mean, I don't know what the rest of the day people are

48:50

doing, but I know at least us

48:52

old people. Or, you know,

48:54

I'm on Instagram or looking, when

48:57

Cindy Lauper coming, that, you know, things

48:59

that fucking matter. She's on the

49:01

road. I wanna see her, I've never seen her. Well,

49:04

she on tour that much. I wanna see her

49:06

and Annie Lennox. Together. Well,

49:08

together, apart, I don't care. Whatever they

49:11

wanna do. Wow. Yeah.

49:15

Yeah, our human willpower

49:17

and band-aid fixes like built-in social

49:19

media app limits don't help. If

49:22

you took an alcoholic, who had a problem with alcohol

49:24

and couldn't control it, then said the best thing to

49:26

do is get the alcohol out of the house, right?

49:28

So that's how I sort of looked at it. This

49:31

guy said, Will Brawley from his home. He

49:35

created and co-owns the popular restaurant

49:37

software thing, I don't care. He

49:42

replaced his iPhone with a Verizon flip phone four

49:44

years ago, and he says he does not miss

49:46

it at all. Boy,

49:48

I get yelled at for having an Android.

49:50

What if I was at a flip? What

49:52

if I could text from a flip to

49:54

the family thread? That would just really, really get

49:57

me deeper in shit. Yep. a

50:00

goddamn flip phone. It

50:05

wouldn't be green. No, it would just be numbers. It

50:07

wouldn't even make any sense. I

50:09

didn't like who I was when I had an iPhone.

50:11

I wasn't present with other people. I was constantly checking

50:14

email texts, sitting at a stoplight, looking at my phone,

50:16

constantly grabbing the phone, being distracted, and being distracted while

50:18

I was with my wife and kids. Now,

50:20

having just a flip phone, it's a

50:22

mental health boon for me. He said,

50:25

the small inconveniences are so enormously outweighed

50:27

by the positive outcomes just from my

50:29

presence, mental health, my anxiety, all of

50:31

that's improved

50:33

dramatically. Well, maybe

50:36

you had a problem. I

50:39

don't feel like when I'm with other people,

50:41

I turn my phone on. My

50:46

parents are sick, if I

50:48

have to, like in case there's an emergency,

50:50

but I don't sit there while people are

50:52

talking and check my phone. That's rude. Examples

50:57

of simple flip phone features, not

51:00

the snazzy Galaxy Flip 5, are

51:02

up for the second year. The

51:05

new Galaxy is a

51:07

flip phone? The Samsung Galaxy Flip 5.

51:10

Are you going to get it? I don't

51:12

know. I have to go look at it. I

51:14

might get it. I don't know. I don't

51:17

like going to this rent store or T-Mobile,

51:19

whatever it's called. The children are

51:21

so helpful. There are two of the

51:23

actual children, Zoomers, they're like in

51:25

their 20s, and they just look at me like I'm their

51:27

mom, and I just act dumber

51:29

than I even am, which is really stupid, but about

51:31

tech stuff. I don't know anything. And I'm like, can

51:34

you just make everything in this phone go to that

51:36

phone? Do not send me home to go to some

51:38

fucking app. I'll never do it. I won't do it

51:40

right. Then I'll lose every video and picture I have.

51:43

They do it. They're like, okay, so can

51:45

you go get lunch or something? I'm like, absolutely.

51:47

I'm going to go get lunch. Yeah. But

51:50

they're very nice. Those are all your

51:52

cat videos. This

51:58

one girl, she's an and influencer too, but

52:01

she, oh, she

52:03

takes it out because it makes her more

52:05

present, but it also eliminates drunk text and

52:08

bad hookups. All of the bad things

52:10

about college, all of the good things about a flip phone,

52:12

which is connected with people and

52:14

taking videos and photos. I will-

52:16

Just eliminate drunk texting. Well,

52:19

because to text on a flip phone, remember

52:21

when you could? Yeah. A. A.

52:24

A. It's a lot hard. A drunk won't

52:26

go through all that. It's more like Morse code. Yeah,

52:29

I don't think a drunk person would

52:33

have the wherewithal. I wouldn't. No.

52:35

That's another TED Talk. Yeah. Drunk Texting.

52:38

So is that, oh, here's a picture of

52:40

the, I've

52:42

seen this one flip. I don't

52:44

know. Is it cool? Gotta think about it. Well, yeah, it

52:47

looks better than the old ones used to, but- Let's

52:49

go look at it. Well, we'll go look at it. I'll

52:51

go look at it. And I'm gonna go to the Cracker

52:53

Barrel by my house that claims it's remodeled. And I'm

52:55

gonna do the work of the Lord, and I'm gonna go

52:57

get some pancakes. And then this

53:00

is from research assistant, Louis

53:02

Black. Unpaid intern.

53:07

Baseball stadium becomes the first to offer

53:09

THC products for the fans. What?

53:12

Yep. That's hilarious. Well, first

53:15

ballparks offered hot dogs and pedestrian lagers. The

53:17

then concessions boomed with all sorts of nibbles,

53:19

entrees, and drinks, highlighting local restaurants and craft

53:21

beers. Now you can go to a ballpark

53:24

and get high. Not every ballpark. But

53:27

you can at Walker Stadium in

53:29

Oregon where the Portland Pickles play a minor

53:31

league ball team. The Portland Pickles, I bet

53:33

their merch is great. The

53:36

team announced this month that through

53:38

a partnership with Cycling Frog, a

53:40

dispenser of hemp derived THC plus

53:42

CBD products, that it would sell

53:45

seltzers with THC in it. That's

53:48

confusing. Yeah. Oh, what if

53:50

you don't know? The

53:53

team said it's the first time a sports team

53:55

is selling THC products at a live

53:57

event. What? I

54:01

don't know, I don't care. Whatever.

54:04

It's Oregon. If anybody's going to do it,

54:06

it should be them. The Portland Pickles

54:08

have a responsibility in the sports industry to

54:10

take leaps and set precedence of innovative partnerships,

54:13

as we saw in 2019 becoming

54:15

the first team ever to partner with

54:17

a CBD company and quickly turn teams

54:19

all the way up with Major League

54:21

across sports follows suit.

54:25

Yeah. Speaking of which, did you guys go

54:27

watch Renee? Did you watch the documentary? Here's

54:29

the things I'm excited about too. I

54:31

know I'm skipping back a little bit. I cannot

54:34

wait to watch the Celine Dion documentary. There's

54:37

part of her that is so off-putting

54:39

to me because everything's so dramatic. But

54:42

there's also part of her that I'm fascinated with

54:44

because she is that person. And

54:46

I believe her. I believe she's sincere. I

54:48

kind of can't wait. And then for...

54:51

A lot of narcissism

54:53

I've heard. Narcissism you've heard? Yeah, I've heard.

54:55

Well, she's had rough road. Her husband died.

54:58

Her mom died. Everybody's

55:00

dying. Predated that.

55:04

Would you be saying this because you're from the west

55:06

of Canada and maybe you don't care

55:08

for the middle Quebec? Is that because

55:11

you were forced to learn French for just one tiny

55:13

group of people? Is that why I feel the hatred

55:15

coming? I think I do. And

55:19

I can't wait to watch PBS. They have a

55:21

new thing called the new

55:24

dig about Pompeii. So I just

55:26

meant to say those. Yeah. All

55:28

right. Now, here's something. Would

55:31

you go to this termites? I'm going

55:33

to tell you this. Would you go? Would you spend,

55:35

I think they said 50 bucks. I saw a story

55:37

online about it. I saw it on TV and then

55:39

I saw it online. Netflix is going to open two

55:41

massive venues with experiences, shops themed

55:43

to its shows. Now

55:46

here's something that was super cool. So

55:49

remember when Vikings was on? On

55:51

the history channels. It's a Discovery Channel. I think they

55:53

were all, they're all the same, under

55:55

the same house. In New York, they

55:57

had a Vikings exhibit. At

56:01

the same time as Vikings was on, I

56:03

was first lady there in the morning. Yep, buy

56:05

my ticket, 30 bucks or whatever. It

56:08

was awesome. But it was

56:10

great because it's like interacting with

56:12

what's on your mind right now if

56:14

you're watching Vikings. But

56:17

this one, they're called,

56:20

it's a Netflix house. The

56:22

first two locations which will include events and shops

56:24

themed to its shows will be in Dallas at

56:27

their Galleria, I believe. And the King of

56:29

Prussia Mall in Pennsylvania.

56:34

You get to immerse yourself in the world as your

56:36

favorite shows. The experimental

56:38

complexes will include elaborate events

56:41

in a repurposing of empty retail

56:44

space. I'm telling you, turn in every one

56:46

of these malls into it's a pickleball

56:48

court. And bars. Well,

56:51

around the pickleball. Pickle bars.

56:53

Pickle bars, pickleball bars. Pickle,

56:55

bar, bar, bar, ball. Well,

56:59

who'll brand that? Pickle bars. All old people would

57:01

say, especially all

57:03

my friends would say, let's

57:05

play pickleball and have some wine. They

57:08

would like to congratulate themselves for 42

57:11

minutes of fake exercise. And

57:13

then as I would, and then go, I

57:15

deserve this. Very

57:18

competitive. They are gonna occupy these

57:20

Netflix houses, former department store locations at the

57:22

Dallas Galleria. They'll spend 100,000 square feet.

57:25

They're set to open in 2025. I

57:29

don't know. For fans of say, Squid Game, the

57:31

dark drama and reality show, Netflix

57:34

promises to recreate the program's

57:36

glass bridge challenge. You

57:39

walk or jump across clear panels

57:41

that shatter and drop

57:43

them if they stand on the wrong one. No,

57:46

I'm not doing that. Well,

57:49

I'm not gonna do anything at this age

57:51

that's gonna scare myself on purpose. It's

57:54

not happening. We're not their target audience. I

57:56

don't know who it's for, but like what

57:58

other shows, Burgerton? I watch season one.

58:01

I know that's stupid. I can't. Well, good

58:03

for you, pal. You, you, you, you motor

58:05

on and with your palm, palm Royal season

58:07

two, something to do for 12 hours. We

58:11

watch different stuff. I don't know. I just

58:13

don't, I can't even think of any shows

58:15

on Netflix that I would be like, yeah,

58:17

I want to get

58:19

in that show. I

58:22

want to be part of it. Yeah. That show

58:24

is part of it. I'm not sure. I'm not sure.

58:28

Yeah, that shows part of it. The

58:31

Queen's Ball. I

58:34

don't know, but I heard on the thing. It's not written

58:36

on here. It's like 50 bucks a ticket. That's

58:38

a lot. It's a lot. How long did you get to be in

58:40

for? What about the children? Fine.

58:42

They don't want some of the children do. I don't know how long

58:45

you get to stay in. They'll show them.

58:47

They'll show them. Ask their parents. Speaking of shit

58:49

I wouldn't do. This

58:53

is why, like, I don't know. You

58:56

just get to an age and this isn't

58:58

recently. This is probably a good 20 years

59:00

now. I just refuse to go on rollercoaster.

59:03

I won't do anything that could

59:05

cause my death unnecessarily because I

59:07

know it's common. Eventually we're all

59:10

going to die, but do I need to speed

59:12

it up by doing some Jackassery? No, I don't.

59:14

But when you're young, you don't think like that.

59:17

So I understand why people do it, but at

59:19

this age I won't do 28 people are trapped

59:22

upside down on an amusement park ride rescued

59:25

by the fire department in Oregon. 28

59:27

people. It went on for like

59:29

a half hour. I was just crying. I

59:31

was more happy. I was alive, a rider said, after

59:34

being taken off the thing. Yeah, more than two

59:36

dozen people recovering after theme park ride

59:39

in Oregon left them hanging upside down for more than

59:41

20 minutes. Upside

59:43

down. On

59:45

Friday, June 14th, 28 passengers

59:47

were riding Portland's Oaks amusement

59:50

park atmosphere with

59:52

fears and all cabs atmosphere.

59:55

The ride stopped in place suspending them

59:57

all upside down in its apex position.

1:00:00

Oh my God.

1:00:03

The riot operators working

1:00:06

on atmosphere which can operate at either 180 degree or

1:00:08

300 degree setting

1:00:10

as it sends its riders flipping through the

1:00:12

air in a loop called 911 and begin

1:00:14

initiating emergency. Can

1:00:17

you imagine the headache? 20

1:00:19

minutes upside down. All of the blood

1:00:22

is rushing to your brain. They

1:00:25

arrived, the firefighters were pretty quickly

1:00:28

and got everybody off safely. But this is

1:00:30

like, right. You just got

1:00:32

scared literally like to death. You

1:00:34

thought you were going to die. Yeah, no. And

1:00:37

you paid for that. She

1:00:44

said, the one girl said she

1:00:47

was afraid, but more importantly, her

1:00:49

entire waste, her entire

1:00:51

waste below everything

1:00:54

below her waste was asleep. All

1:00:57

the blood had gone away. You

1:00:59

have to hold your leg back. It was so hard. It

1:01:02

was so bad. So there's like, there's

1:01:05

this like woman firefighter and she's so

1:01:07

tiny and she's like, oh, I got

1:01:09

you describing her rescue. I'm like,

1:01:11

are you sure? And she literally like picked

1:01:14

me up and I was just overwhelmed and

1:01:16

everything. And I gave her like the biggest

1:01:18

hug. I

1:01:21

just, this is why I can't, I

1:01:23

can't even know. And like my nieces and

1:01:25

nephews at six flags or whatever, go ahead

1:01:28

or ask if there's another adult who wants to take

1:01:30

you. I'm not doing it. I'll get

1:01:32

on the teacups. There's a lot of shit I'll get

1:01:35

on. Antique cars. Sure. Oh,

1:01:37

log, right? Love a log, right? Log,

1:01:39

flume, flume. Doug

1:01:45

Benson used to have the funniest joke. I

1:01:47

don't know if he still does it. He's

1:01:49

a comedian. He's very funny. The log, uh,

1:01:51

ride it, whatever, say six legs, whatever he said

1:01:54

he liked to get. Um,

1:01:57

this is his joke, not mine, but he liked

1:01:59

to get. in a

1:02:01

family log and he's the

1:02:03

only one that's not part of the family and then

1:02:05

at the end it always takes your picture of you

1:02:07

coming out of the thing and he said he particularly

1:02:10

wanted to get in with the Asian families because their

1:02:12

pictures meant so much to them like and they had

1:02:14

their friends taking pictures and then he would behave

1:02:16

like a moron in the back of their log And

1:02:21

they'd be pointing at him and go you ruin

1:02:23

a whole log Sorry Just

1:02:28

to think I'm gonna get in that log and ruin

1:02:30

these people's family I know

1:02:32

but it's funny. I mean who knows if

1:02:34

he really did it. I believe he would Here's

1:02:38

something where you're like really are you guys

1:02:40

really I'm gonna doubt this lady The

1:02:43

woman's oldest the world's oldest woman who claims she

1:02:45

was born six months before the death of Queen

1:02:47

Victoria celebrates her 124th

1:02:50

birthday it's believed she

1:02:52

that they have to she claims

1:02:54

claims the ladies a hundred twenty-four

1:02:57

I mean just believe her her

1:03:00

name is Amantina Oh Santos

1:03:04

the Virgum also known as Donna julio.

1:03:06

She was born on June 22nd night

1:03:10

Julio Julia

1:03:12

Donna Julia is what I read Donna

1:03:15

Donna Julio She

1:03:19

said to have been born on June 2nd 22nd 1900

1:03:22

which is really weird because I always look at rental car

1:03:24

things and how old can you be? Yeah, I believe it

1:03:26

was Hertz. It said 1904 and

1:03:29

I that's my grandpa's birth year and I'm like,

1:03:31

wow So you'd let somebody that would be a hundred and

1:03:34

twenty four right

1:03:40

She lives in Sierra Gaius in

1:03:42

the state of piranha Um

1:03:47

Right 124 Her

1:03:49

social worker says she doesn't have diabetes headaches or

1:03:51

high blood pressure. She doesn't take any medicine and

1:03:54

she doesn't have gray hair She loves wearing earrings

1:03:56

and bracelets They threw

1:03:58

her a special party to celebrate the official

1:04:00

date of her birth? Well, where we get

1:04:02

that? She's Brazilian. Although

1:04:05

her age is recognized by the Brazilian government,

1:04:07

she's been denied a place in

1:04:10

the Guinness World Book of Records because of a mix-up

1:04:12

with a birth certificate. Can't

1:04:15

you just put in there, this lady's alive and we

1:04:17

think she could be too? Just come on, be nice.

1:04:19

Put the lady in the book. What do you give

1:04:21

a shit? Yeah, just put it, yeah,

1:04:23

but ask her to buy it. Say, maybe, you know,

1:04:27

she spent a significant chunk of her life

1:04:29

on the streets. She was adopted at the

1:04:31

age of a hundred by

1:04:34

a woman named Maria Edner

1:04:37

de Alameda. And then

1:04:39

there's a picture of the lady. She

1:04:43

kind of, well,

1:04:46

she's very tiny. She's a very tiny

1:04:48

person. No, no, but I

1:04:50

mean not from like shrinking and stuff. She started out

1:04:52

like my height and now she's probably four

1:04:55

two. She's a tiny little hands,

1:04:57

tiny little hands. Oh,

1:04:59

here she is in a winter coat. You can barely

1:05:01

see her face. She's got her hood up. Current World

1:05:06

Book of Records, they say the oldest person in

1:05:08

America born is Spanish. We know this because you

1:05:10

listen to this podcast. Maria

1:05:12

Brannes-Moria who turned 117.

1:05:14

This lady's way older, I believe her. She

1:05:19

spent a lot of her life on the streets. That's all it says. It

1:05:23

doesn't say, and she's not in a nursing home or

1:05:25

nothing. She's active on

1:05:27

social media, frequently posting on Twitter.

1:05:33

She said, I'm surprised and grateful for the- She posts on Twitter.

1:05:36

Well, with the help of her daughter. Who's probably

1:05:38

90. Yeah,

1:05:45

so there you go. I believe her. I

1:05:47

just, I can't believe people, I know there's no, you

1:05:49

know, but the thing is if you're gonna be this

1:05:51

old there may not be proof. Maybe

1:05:54

they didn't keep records in Brazil at that time of

1:05:56

those people. Um, because

1:05:59

this is crazy. Well, tell

1:06:01

me what you think about this termites.

1:06:04

Uh-huh. So

1:06:06

if you look at my Wikipedia, it says I was

1:06:08

born in Florissant, Missouri, which is also

1:06:10

the Ferguson-Floresant school district, which is why I say I'm

1:06:12

also from Ferguson, but really I

1:06:14

was born in Jennings, Missouri.

1:06:17

But Florissant is what it kind of turned into. So

1:06:20

the Midwest restaurant is igniting conversation

1:06:22

over its

1:06:24

strict age policy. Termites

1:06:27

tell me what you think. On May

1:06:29

26th, Bliss Restaurant, a recently opened Caribbean

1:06:31

restaurant in Florissant, Missouri, announced

1:06:34

a policy for its patronage that has

1:06:37

since gone viral around the internet. The

1:06:39

eatery, which serves dishes like oxtail, jollof

1:06:44

rice and fried plantain,

1:06:46

revealed that its age restrictions for

1:06:48

its entry are women must

1:06:50

be over 30, 30

1:06:53

or over, and men must be 35 or older. I

1:06:56

like that they decided we are five years

1:06:58

more socially well behaved than men. They're

1:07:01

like, well, the women are fine by 30. The

1:07:03

guys, I don't know, let's hang on until 35.

1:07:06

Yeah, they're not, you know, it takes them a hot

1:07:09

minute to learn how to behave. And

1:07:11

then it says, as a black-owned business, Bliss

1:07:14

Caribbean Restaurant is dedicated to providing North County

1:07:16

with an upscale dining experience.

1:07:19

They wrote on Facebook, and they're

1:07:21

adding that the restriction ensures a

1:07:23

grown and sexy atmosphere. Now,

1:07:26

here's the thing, but I'll

1:07:28

never forget. So when my

1:07:30

brother Pat and his wife, they had little

1:07:32

Pat, he was probably at the most two,

1:07:34

he's in a high chair,

1:07:38

I know this, and they

1:07:40

were in Florida, we were all down seeing my mom

1:07:42

and dad, and they decided they were going to go

1:07:44

out on their own to have an anniversary

1:07:46

dinner or something, but they had to take little

1:07:48

Pat. I don't know why they ended up by

1:07:50

themselves. And I

1:07:53

said, how was dinner? Was it romantic

1:07:55

for your anniversary? He goes, no, Kathleen.

1:07:57

He goes, little Pat. He

1:08:00

goes, I mean, I didn't mind so much,

1:08:02

but there was a couple not far from us

1:08:04

really trying to have a romantic dinner. And it's

1:08:06

just not romantic when a fork that isn't yours

1:08:08

flies through the air and lands on your table.

1:08:13

And I could just picture little Pat just,

1:08:15

like, I mean, there

1:08:17

is a thing that kids can kind of

1:08:20

make the atmosphere. I think it's

1:08:22

funny, but if you're trying to

1:08:24

have, like he wants a grown and sexy

1:08:26

atmosphere, the

1:08:29

restaurant lists three reasons for his policy.

1:08:31

Oh, the one time the twins, my

1:08:33

sister's twins, they were like a year,

1:08:35

we were again

1:08:38

down seeing my parents in Florida and we

1:08:40

all went out and they were

1:08:42

really good babies. But for whatever reason, they were

1:08:44

like nine months old, both of them were in

1:08:46

high chairs. When one would lose it, the other

1:08:48

one would lose it. It was like a mirror

1:08:51

effect. They were twins, yeah. And then it started

1:08:53

with Claire and then Emily mimicked it and it

1:08:55

just kept getting louder and louder. My brother-in-law Matt,

1:08:57

who's like a country guy, like he was just

1:08:59

like, Katie, we don't

1:09:01

leave. You gotta stop that, make them

1:09:03

stop. It's

1:09:06

like, Matt, I can't just make them stop.

1:09:08

They have clean diapers, they've been fed. They're

1:09:10

just angry. Like he's like, what do you

1:09:12

mean they're angry? Their minds don't even work

1:09:15

like that. We gotta get these babies out

1:09:17

of here. I

1:09:20

said to Kate, because I was with him, I

1:09:22

couldn't stop laughing. I thought it was so funny

1:09:24

and I'm like, it's

1:09:27

funny to us and I understand it's not funny

1:09:29

to other people, we do need to figure out

1:09:32

how to stop it. Make them stop it, Katie. It

1:09:36

went on, she's like, let's just get the food to go.

1:09:38

I'm like, great idea. And it went on for a good,

1:09:40

I don't

1:09:42

know, five to 10 minutes and in a restaurant

1:09:45

that's kind of a lot. There's other people trying

1:09:47

to eat that don't need all this shit, anyway.

1:09:52

The restaurant lists three reasons for its policy.

1:09:54

It creates a mature and relaxed atmosphere for

1:09:56

guests and the restriction allows staff

1:09:59

to focus on quality. and that the

1:10:01

policy ensures our restaurant remains a premier

1:10:03

destination for those seeking an upscale, cribbing

1:10:05

dining experience. This policy helps us make

1:10:07

a sophisticated environment, hold up our standards,

1:10:09

and support the sustainability of our unique

1:10:12

ambiance. Yeah,

1:10:15

I just love that they made it 30. But

1:10:17

then there's other people that are mad about

1:10:20

it. But really, is a

1:10:22

kid gonna want oxtail? I

1:10:24

mean, maybe you could go to 25. What's...

1:10:30

I don't know. They've

1:10:33

gotten a little bit of backlash, but that's okay. They're sticking

1:10:36

to their code. Next time I go home, I'll

1:10:38

go there. See what it's like. I'll do it with the work of

1:10:40

the Lord. Well,

1:10:43

I do like a plantain. I've never had oxtail. I can't

1:10:46

judge it. I haven't. Somebody...

1:10:50

Twitter comments are always so funny. Some

1:10:52

lady wrote, grown folks only and no

1:10:54

twerking on the tables. I support it. Boom!

1:10:57

Yep. Somebody wrote, we need 10

1:10:59

of these in California. We don't

1:11:01

need them. We need about four in Oakland alone,

1:11:03

LOL. Love this, because it's

1:11:05

for a mature crowd. But it makes you want to go out... It

1:11:08

makes you want to go out again without

1:11:11

the nonsense. I wouldn't have minded if you said

1:11:13

40 and up. Oh, wow. Let's make it. Let's

1:11:15

keep going. Yeah.

1:11:19

A lot of people really like the idea. I don't

1:11:21

see anything wrong with it if you're a restaurant. Right.

1:11:24

You know, sorry. No

1:11:26

kids. This...

1:11:32

Oh, by the way, I think this is

1:11:34

wonderful. It's another reason I love the United

1:11:36

States Postal System. I'll have...

1:11:38

I'm seeing my neighbor, Jeff, tonight. He'll tell me what's wrong

1:11:40

with it. He loves to tell me what's wrong with the

1:11:42

post office. And then I go, have you ever... Has a

1:11:45

male ever been lost, Jeff? No, it

1:11:47

hasn't. No. Even when I wished

1:11:49

male had gotten lost. Exactly. To me,

1:11:51

it didn't. The long time

1:11:53

host of Jeopardy, Alex Trebek, is now

1:11:56

honored with the U.S. Postal stamp. Wonderful.

1:11:58

Answer, who is eligible? That's right,

1:12:00

he'll be, he gets a forever stamp to

1:12:02

celebrate his legacy and the show's 60

1:12:05

diamond anniversary.

1:12:08

The stamp says, this

1:12:10

naturalized US citizen, because he's what? Canadian.

1:12:15

This naturalized US citizen hosted the quiz show

1:12:17

Jeopardy for 37 seasons. Underneath

1:12:20

written upside down is the correct response,

1:12:23

who is Alex Trebek? That's right. Yeah,

1:12:25

good for him. Wonderful. That's

1:12:27

a good thing. Maybe next time I go to the post

1:12:29

office and get yelled at by the post office ladies for

1:12:31

not picking up my shit out of the post office box,

1:12:33

I'll buy some Alex Trebek stamps. This

1:12:36

I don't know how much taller people can get, but

1:12:39

this is nuts. This is

1:12:41

crazy. Oliver

1:12:43

Rue makes

1:12:46

Zach Eddy, these are basketball players, look

1:12:48

like Mugsy Bogues. Mugsy was the shortest

1:12:50

guy ever. He was like 5'2 or

1:12:52

some shit. He was great.

1:12:55

I always rooted him on. He was so, so tiny. He made

1:12:57

it to the pros and he was great. An

1:12:59

incoming Florida basketball freshman,

1:13:03

Oliver Rue has gone viral in recent

1:13:05

days after Internet sleuths discovered his bio

1:13:08

page on the school's athletic website,

1:13:11

list him at a staggering 7'9". That's

1:13:14

crazy. There's videos of it

1:13:16

online. I'll put it in his notes. I mean, it

1:13:19

literally looks like a tennis ball in his hand and

1:13:21

then he just goes like that. He just reaches over

1:13:23

and puts it in a bucket. It'd be like me

1:13:25

walking around with tennis balls and just putting them in

1:13:28

buckets. There, look, I scored again. I

1:13:30

scored again. I don't even know. Now

1:13:33

there was that one really tall skinny guy, Sean

1:13:35

Bradley. He was the Mormon guy and he went

1:13:37

off to do his thing and he

1:13:39

didn't ever beef up. So he didn't really, he did

1:13:42

okay, but he didn't turn into what

1:13:44

they thought. You can be tall if you're too skinny though.

1:13:47

You're going to get, you got to get, got to beef them up

1:13:50

even if you're that tall, but I don't know.

1:13:52

I mean, to the point where does it even matter

1:13:55

if he beefs beefs up? I mean, if

1:13:57

you're still, wow. He's

1:14:00

from Montreal, one of your

1:14:02

favorite places. The

1:14:04

height would make the Montreal native the tallest

1:14:07

college basketball player of all time, passing up

1:14:09

seven foot eight Florida Tech and Mountain State

1:14:11

Center, Paul Sturgis. He recently

1:14:13

entered the Guinness World Book of Records in 2002

1:14:15

as the tallest living male teenager. As

1:14:19

a child, he spent hours looking through his Guinness

1:14:21

World Book of Records, studying the tallest people and

1:14:23

comparing himself to the record holder. That

1:14:26

is something I never did with my, I mean.

1:14:28

In free time. He brought plenty of

1:14:31

eyes to his height and his proudness, just like other giants

1:14:33

before him. Yeah, he

1:14:35

is a giant, I mean, he's a giant. Perhaps

1:14:38

the most recognized skyscraper

1:14:41

is the late Manute Bowl, who I

1:14:43

did Conan O'Brien with one time. Oh,

1:14:46

cool. I got my picture taken with him and I look two

1:14:48

foot eight. You're kidding. Nope.

1:14:50

Nope. He was skinny, he was

1:14:53

seven foot six. Some say seven seven. Oh,

1:14:56

wow. Yep, he was playing division two in the

1:14:58

eighties before the Wizards. Lewis's

1:15:00

team drafted

1:15:03

him. He doesn't really follow

1:15:05

basketball because Baltimore, like Washington

1:15:07

did pro. Yeah, because he

1:15:09

loves college. University

1:15:11

of North Carolina, baby blue, baby. Ron

1:15:17

likes the lot of horns. Michael Jordan went there. All

1:15:19

right, Lou. Okay. Yeah.

1:15:25

This guy's ready to go. I

1:15:28

mean, wait till you see him. Seven foot nine.

1:15:31

He was six foot one as an eight year old. What?

1:15:38

Go to your room, smack. He could

1:15:40

literally pat me on the head and

1:15:42

then smack me. Yeah. He

1:15:45

joined the seven foot club. Yeah.

1:15:51

Six foot 11th and sixth grade and joined the seven

1:15:53

foot club before he entered seventh grade. Wow. Mm-hmm.

1:15:57

He's kind of cute too. Yep. Yeah.

1:16:00

Sometimes when everybody gets that tall, it starts looking weird. Yeah,

1:16:02

no, he's cute. All right. He's

1:16:05

going to be a ganger. Yeah.

1:16:09

I almost think it's cheating. But

1:16:12

I got in an elevator once in

1:16:14

Detroit. I was going to the show and

1:16:17

the door opened and it was Kevin Durant. Oh,

1:16:20

cool. Yeah. And I'm not the

1:16:22

biggest pro following, but I know Kevin Durant. And

1:16:24

I was like, hey man. I mean,

1:16:26

he's so, so, so tall. And

1:16:29

he was like, do you have plans

1:16:31

tonight? I said, yeah, I gotta work. I had

1:16:33

a show with the, whatever. What's

1:16:35

a theater? I can't think of it. The

1:16:38

Royal Oak. The Royal Oak, right. Royal

1:16:40

Oak. And he was like, well, I have some free tickets. I thought,

1:16:42

oh my God, he's trying to give away his comps. And

1:16:46

I'm like, I seriously would come.

1:16:48

He was so nice. I'm like, dude,

1:16:50

I would seriously come, but I really do have a

1:16:52

job. Like he doesn't know what I do for a

1:16:54

living. I'm like, I got a clock

1:16:56

in. I got a clock in by 5 30. And

1:16:59

he was like, okay. I think he thought I was just like,

1:17:01

I don't want to go to basketball, but I don't want to

1:17:03

say that. Of course I would go. And

1:17:06

he's for basically, I'll go, but yeah, he

1:17:08

was extremely nice. So sometimes you hear people

1:17:10

dog talking to him and I'm like, well,

1:17:12

I was a total stranger. Yep.

1:17:17

This is for, we're going to do this.

1:17:19

And then I got some thank yous. And then

1:17:22

our quote. Lucky

1:17:25

the Beaver appears to be

1:17:27

having a midlife crisis. The

1:17:30

42 year old mascot just debuted a

1:17:32

new slimmer looks and Texans are not

1:17:34

loving it. Oh,

1:17:36

I noticed that. Nobody wants

1:17:39

a skinny beaver. Beavers

1:17:41

are choppy. That's what they're supposed to be.

1:17:45

Fast food mascots come in every shape, size and personality, but

1:17:47

I like to see them with a little girth. Big

1:17:50

boy's belly isn't just his body type.

1:17:52

It's proof. That's the big boy.

1:17:54

Yeah. And then he goes through all the other one.

1:17:57

Yeah. Uh, yeah. Uh,

1:17:59

yeah. to the video because he's

1:18:01

felt now, why did

1:18:03

they do this to my beautiful boy? Oh

1:18:06

my gosh. Beavers

1:18:08

have been evolving in Texas for 15 million

1:18:10

years and the North American beaver,

1:18:13

Bucky, who's been evolving since 1982, they

1:18:16

loved him so much last year that

1:18:19

they named a fossil in his

1:18:21

honor, but they are not having this

1:18:23

person, but there's a lot of Bucky's. Why

1:18:26

is it just the Texas one? The one

1:18:28

in Tennessee isn't any skinnier. The

1:18:30

new ones are changing them. Oh. Oh.

1:18:36

The statue and stuff. Yeah. Here's,

1:18:39

oh no, I don't

1:18:41

know what I would think. I don't, they wear

1:18:43

the mascot outfits the same. They're

1:18:47

changing the outfit? Yeah,

1:18:49

it doesn't have a thing in it. Oh, the little

1:18:51

bottom part where he looks, kind

1:18:53

of a little fat ass. Yeah, and then the

1:18:55

bronze statue. The bronze statue's

1:18:58

chubby. Yeah, but it's getting smaller. Oh.

1:19:01

Yes, too. Well, I'm gonna have to look next time at Bucky's. Shout

1:19:05

out, thank you. These coasters, it's a

1:19:08

Madigan pup cast are awesome. That's

1:19:10

from Vicky, Vicky with a Y. The

1:19:13

peanuts, we got that soap rock and

1:19:15

some bath gel from Pennsylvania Termit Lin.

1:19:18

Laser pointers for geese removal. Whoever heard

1:19:20

of that? Gotta look at that. I

1:19:22

don't know, I'm gonna try it. There's an awful lot of them

1:19:24

though. I'm gonna have to get like eight of those if it

1:19:26

works. That's Charles

1:19:28

on a termite, Cindy and Danielle, and local

1:19:31

beards some cat treats, which is good, because I

1:19:33

was out of greenies when I returned. They

1:19:38

like temptations too though, so that was fine. I'm

1:19:41

not gonna feed them until they start to stop

1:19:43

letting other animals in the south. Something's getting weird.

1:19:45

That's from Jen and Aunt Lori, and

1:19:48

some cat toys from Termit, Melissa. All

1:19:51

right, so let's do our little quotes. Thanks

1:19:55

again to everybody who came out in West Virginia. I'm

1:19:58

in Maine, can't wait to see you guys. I have... Kelly McFarlane

1:20:00

with me. She's very,

1:20:02

very, very funny. Do not be late to the show.

1:20:06

All my shows, I always take pride in

1:20:08

who I book to

1:20:10

work with me and to open the show because they're

1:20:12

all headliners in their own right. And

1:20:16

she's one of the ones that I,

1:20:18

I actually, I always kind of stand side

1:20:20

sage and listen, but sometimes I, I

1:20:22

don't know, I get more excited to listen, for

1:20:25

instance. Kelly's just funny. This

1:20:28

is a Dolly quote. On

1:20:33

songwriting during an interview for the Oprah

1:20:35

magazine, God's like a

1:20:37

farmer. He gets up, throws

1:20:40

out all of these ideas like corn and

1:20:42

I want to be the early bird. Oh,

1:20:45

I never thought about that. Yeah, I got

1:20:47

to think about that. Are things happening in

1:20:49

the morning? Are

1:20:51

things happening in the morning?

1:20:54

No. Yeah. And they

1:20:56

on the today's show when they have a concert out there,

1:20:58

I'm like, nope. Hey, can

1:21:00

you come down at 7 30 and do 10 minutes? Nope.

1:21:04

Nope. I do not care. I am not getting

1:21:06

up at five to put hair, makeup. No. No,

1:21:08

there was a country singer on there this morning and I thought, what

1:21:10

time did you get out? And

1:21:12

Hoda and all those people are jacked up on

1:21:14

20 cups of coffee. We've

1:21:17

already had spaghetti. Like,

1:21:19

oh my God. This

1:21:25

is a,

1:21:30

this is on Twitter in 2014. She

1:21:33

wrote, Tay Tay wrote, good memories

1:21:35

can leave even more of a scar on your heart

1:21:38

than the bad times. Deep

1:21:42

thought. I don't know. Well,

1:21:45

what, see, this is where I get to leave real

1:21:47

logical. What do you classify as a good memory? And

1:21:49

then why is it a good one? If it's something

1:21:51

that's going to make you sad. I

1:21:53

would put it in the not good one unless it's like,

1:21:56

okay, good, but they died. You still

1:21:58

want those memories and they can make you sad. happy

1:22:00

at the same time. True that. True that.

1:22:02

Yep. Well here's

1:22:04

another one. This is on Tumblr. Does that

1:22:06

even exist anymore? Tumblr? I

1:22:08

don't know. We'll look it up. I

1:22:12

never participated in the first place. No. She

1:22:16

said, I've always said that the world is a

1:22:18

different place for the heartbroken that moves on

1:22:20

a different axis at a different speed. Time

1:22:23

skips backwards and forwards fleetingly.

1:22:25

The heartbroken might go

1:22:28

through a thousand micro-emotions a

1:22:30

day trying to figure out how to get through it. Sad

1:22:34

clown. Serious. Sad. Very

1:22:37

serious. Very serious.

1:22:40

Isn't that wonderful she's happy now? Yeah,

1:22:43

I'm so happy she's happy now. Good for

1:22:45

the whole family. Good for everybody. The world's

1:22:47

a different place. Where's

1:22:50

she going next? Where's

1:22:53

Tay Tay? Dublin.

1:22:55

Dublin. Oh and you know

1:22:57

what? I have a friend, I won't

1:22:59

say who, who may have some inside

1:23:02

information and I don't think this is necessarily a bad

1:23:04

thing to say out loud. I would not say it if I

1:23:06

thought it was something I shouldn't. Tay

1:23:08

Tay paid all

1:23:11

the people that are working on that crew. She paid

1:23:13

for their spouses to come over for a week.

1:23:15

So great. Boom. How

1:23:18

nice is that? And I don't know if I'm supposed

1:23:20

to say that so if I wasn't I didn't say

1:23:22

that. How about that? I didn't say shit about that

1:23:24

but how I know that is

1:23:26

a different set of circumstances

1:23:29

and once again shout out to Burt

1:23:31

Kreischer from my medal. I want to wear it at

1:23:34

Christmas and see if anybody says anything. Just

1:23:36

to watch my brother go why the fuck do

1:23:39

you have a giant medal around you? It's

1:23:41

so heavy

1:23:44

my neck actually hurts. I've been around for

1:23:46

what an hour plus and it's like, all

1:23:49

right that's it we got a little fire and bye bye. You